Latest / Six Figure Certified / How to Use NLP as a Life Coach | Kaleah Jones

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How to Use NLP as a Life Coach | Kaleah Jones · Six Figure Certified

0:03
[UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
0:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I would have been a hard time actually connecting that part.
0:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, well, it's going on with me where I'm not executing on my vision.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm resisting, I'm procrastinating.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that is where the discovery of in a weekend.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Once we have that realization that we are not our emotion, but we're actually like the being behind those emotions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It really does help people change their relationship to their thoughts, to their emotions, to their memories quickly and sustainably.
0:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Six Figure Certified.
0:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, Olivia Chapman, and we have a return guest here today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Collea Jones is IGC coaching schools, NLP practitioner.
0:48
[SPEAKER_00]: She's a certified coach.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's an ICF credentialed coach.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She has years of coaching experience and NLP experience day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: basically I brought her on because A she's amazing and B she's going to help us upgrade our coaching sessions by incorporating NLP techniques.
1:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And before we get into that, I do want to mention that Kaliah is a US Army veteran turned corporate career ladder climber turn coach.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So there's a lot here and first like welcome to the show.
1:17
[SPEAKER_01]: How did we get here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited to be back.
1:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't, but I have an intro for myself, but you already said everything.
1:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is hard to know, I didn't, and there's so much more.
1:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I just laid the little surface level stuff.
1:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct you if I'm wrong.
1:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you find NLP before you found coaching?
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[SPEAKER_01]: No, actually I was on my coaching personal development journey.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that is how I discovered, you know, Pete, because I had all of this, you know, learning the skill of life coaching and then having the business strategy and having this big vision for how I wanted to.
1:55
[SPEAKER_01]: see myself in the coaching industry, but I was having a hard time actually connecting that part, the excitement and the vision to actually the implementation of it all.
2:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was going on with me where I'm not executing on my vision.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm resisting, I'm procrastinating.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that is where the discovery of NLP came in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, okay, yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, NLP essentially was the shift that made you go from vision to vision coming to life action.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, the NLP was the first modality that showed me how my mind was actually organizing my reality in real time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, everyone's set with that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Organizing your reality in real time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to use this episode and I know I'm going to throw you for a loop here because we were going to talk about your story of like army to corporate to NLP practitioner and how like anyone from any background can create this coaching business of their dreams, but I really want to talk about NLP because I know we teach at NIGC.
2:57
[SPEAKER_00]: It's one of our lessons that you teach and you have a whole workshop and all this around.
3:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously it's been the thing that moved you from vision to reality, but like, why should we use an LP first, like other than that, like, what is a coaches used for an LP.
3:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, well, first, let me just break it down in LP stands for neural linguistic programming, right, so neural relates to the neurons in our brain.
3:24
[SPEAKER_01]: and then linguistic is programming of those neurons.
3:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And then NLP says that everything that we do in our life is a habit.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So in NLP terms, the habit is the programming.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And like how a software runs on a program all the time, our brain also runs on a program all the time.
3:44
[SPEAKER_01]: So we are able to reinstall software updated, you know, download new tools, get rid of things that don't serve us.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's why I love NLP because it really helps you to update your programming or your conditioning that's running.
4:02
[SPEAKER_01]: the founders is so interesting.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love it so much.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The founders in L.P. a John grinder in Richard Brandler would say that it is the study of excellence.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you might hear that as a lot as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know what's interesting when you're describing it is it kind of in a sense makes me think of my brain as like a machine almost like outside my body,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I do think being able to separate almost like your brain from even your emotions and realizing that you can reprogram your brain, it kind of makes me feel like I would say more empowered and also like there's no excuse once you know this to stay stuck anymore.
4:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you're so right.
4:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Once we have that realization that we are not our emotions, but we're actually like the being behind those emotions.
4:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And very much, our brain is a, as a, you know, we can manage our mind.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's a skill that we can learn.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it very much is a tool.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I like to look at it as a computer.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So in terms of the coaching industry, I mean, it really does help people change their relationship to their thoughts, to their emotions, to their memories quickly and sustainably.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, that partners very well with coaching.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's talk about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to go through and if you're watching this in NLP as new to you, we actually has a full free workshop.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I wanted to go through something to help anyone watching our listening to this be able to upgrade their sessions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like right away.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So like I want to go through some actual NLP techniques.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like we understand that NLP is neural linguistic programming.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We can rewrite our, you know, brain to a degree or like I think it's
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to give you a couple, I'm going to put you a spot, and give you a few examples of like common coaching requests slash complaints that we get us coaches and if there's an NLP technique that you would match with this, okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Are you game?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's say that I.
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[SPEAKER_00]: want to start a business and I'm almost like at war with myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like there's part of me that feels so excited to do this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have the vision, maybe a made a vision board, maybe I like have a Pinterest board of like how I want my home office to look all of this stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But then there's part of me that literally just won't do anything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Won't take action.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I love this scenario because a lot of times clients will come into session and they will literally say something like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like they will say, well, it's just like part of me once this and part of me once that and NLP, we have this amazing technique called parts integration, which is basically it resolves that inner conflict that you're experiencing that you just describe it's like the part of you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: For me, when I did part's integration, for example, for the first time, a part of me really wanted success as an entrepreneur, and I wanted to see myself as this amazing transformational coach.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But also, a part of me was actually fearing that same success, and I was so used to the ability of a corporate job.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: it feels like a quandary like your torn.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so, instead of forcing change, you get to create some internal alignment with parts integration.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's basically this beautiful process where we actually honor both parts.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And you realize that they actually want
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[SPEAKER_01]: They both want the same thing for you in the end, whether that's freedom, flexibility, financial stability, like whatever it is, and we get to integrate them until they come together and you become whole.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It becomes no more sporadic parts.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like it's all a part of you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's such a beautiful process, but yeah, that comes up a lot and this is when that works for that.
7:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that and I can just picture it almost as like angel on one shoulder down a lot and another.
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I know our negative parts aren't necessarily double.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't mean it like that, but it's almost like it allows them to come together to work for you instead of be at this constant battle.
8:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we've all gone through that in certain areas of life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like before we were recording this and I was telling you like, do I start dating again?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do I not?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It literally is two different parts.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, because the party you probably want to start dating, it probably is like, but I'm happy with this independent life created for myself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So how can it build this together?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So parts integration is one and I think that's also in the workshop or if you showed it or there's an example of how you facilitate it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, we actually did do a demonstration
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So in ourglowcircle.com slash NLP, we'll also get you that workshop.
8:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So I got another one for you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
9:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
9:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just going to use myself as an example here around the dating thing because I think this is good.
9:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So say you have a client who has a repeating limiting belief.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So like for me, which is something that I've been working on is like I have this like belief that I can't seem to get rid of around like
9:22
[SPEAKER_00]: all the men are trash.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of what it is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But then again, at the same time, you want to date, you want to get married, you want this vision of a partnership and all that, but this limiting belief stops, like you know it stops you and your trash, or I know it stops me in my tracks, where I'm like, all the men are just trash.
9:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there an NLP technique for that?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes, so I'm thinking of two, we'll go with,
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[SPEAKER_01]: We'll go with the swish pattern for that, actually.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't gonna think about the single belief change, which I think could work too, but also when you gave such a specific example about dating, we can swish that into a whole new image of how you see yourself.
10:08
[SPEAKER_01]: So the swish pattern is an NLP technique used to interrupt or
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[SPEAKER_01]: reprogram those automatic habits or self-sabotaging patterns that we have that are kind of running on autopilot back there and we don't realize how it's making us show up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you take this image that triggers whatever this unwanted behavior is that maybe you experience
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[SPEAKER_01]: the woman you desire to be in your dating life or how you choose to show up differently.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it doesn't rely on willpower or motivation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It actually retrains the brain to move toward a new identity automatically.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right, so it seems like magic or something.
11:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I, we hear that a lot.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I, I, I, it's so many times I've done a technique on somebody.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, I can't believe that works.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is some type of voodoo.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is magic.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is crazy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's also such a relief.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think it, obviously, as a practitioner, you can get great,
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, client results and transformation sounds like from using NLP techniques with your clients and I'm like, okay, obviously that's amazing because you feel so confident in your services.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I'm like, this is a way to upgrade your coaching services hands down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think no matter what niche you're in, you could learn NLP techniques to support your clients, but also as like a client of NLP.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be so like I'm that's what I'm saying.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you don't have to be stuck anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is compared to hypnosis.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It is a hypnotic language that we use, especially when we are asking our clients to close their eyes and pull up mental images and really use their imagination.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, they're actually, they're not the same, however, there's not any NLP certifications that I haven't gone through, where there's a component of hypnosis that is involved.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you're very much intertwined.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: OK, because I'm like, I've definitely done a Ben Hypnotized before, which I found really valuable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that was more for like healing childhood trauma.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And just, it's like you don't forget the trauma and you don't forget what happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It just doesn't like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: hit you as hard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm thinking even with NLP, it's like, you don't necessarily forget.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've got some asking this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you necessarily forget the old thought or it's just that the new belief is now stronger and like running the show?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, the reason I'm the person because in some places, it really eliminates that
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[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever negative feelings that came from, whatever the traumatic experience was, it eliminates those negative feelings, and then you get to see the wisdom behind it, almost.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What do you say to someone that's just like, doesn't believe in it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: who's like, I don't know, I don't buy it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I had it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's psychology, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not this woo woo thing, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's practical psychology.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's the study of how language perception and patterns shake your behavior.
13:34
[SPEAKER_01]: What is there not to buy?
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[SPEAKER_01]: You have to experience it for yourself because it does work, especially if you're someone who needs to be backed by science.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Perfect.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It does it, right?
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[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's why I've always been so drawn to NLP, and I know I'm interviewing you like I've never experienced it before, and I will say it's absolutely life-changing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I guess you could do that.
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: People don't buy into anything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So like there could be anything like people don't buy into CrossFit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They don't buy into vegan, like you have to choose.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think that it's key to say that like it is science back.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is research back and there's so much research over time that shows upon positive benefits of NLP, which is obviously why we added it to IGC's coach training program as well.
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: You mentioned another, I know you said you were going to use this wish technique for that and then you mentioned there was another one called single belief that also could have been used I'm just curious like what is that tool.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, yes, single belief change is an enthalpy process that really helps someone identify and update one specific belief, that's what we call it single belief, that we're not tackling all your limited beliefs at once, but it's like this one specific thing that is like, you know, that's quietly shaping your behavior or your confidence or your decisions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, beliefs act as filters.
15:01
[SPEAKER_01]: So,
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[SPEAKER_01]: what we notice and how we interpret the experiences, one belief changes, behavior often changes automatically after that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Most people think, oh, I have to overhaul my mindset with all of these limiting beliefs that I have.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But no, basically it's about looking at that one belief and finding a new empowered belief.
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[SPEAKER_01]: that you would rather feel or think instead and through this beautiful process where you close your eyes, you're pulling up mental pictures, you're getting into the feels of the negative belief, only to neutralize it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We wanna neutralize the course and then we wanna reinstall a new belief.
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[SPEAKER_01]: we actually don't go from the negative belief to the positive belief because it's too quick of a change.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We actually allow room for it to be neutralized and for you to fill into that space of just like, oh, I still fill that anymore and then install the empowering belief of how you would rather fill instead.
15:58
[SPEAKER_00]: so interesting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like a good one, like if coaches are listening to this, one of the beliefs that I hear often with clients and even in training, like our coaches and training who are coaching, they're running into this client belief if I don't have enough time.
16:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, or there's never and there's not enough hours in the day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I wonder if it would work for that one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It absolutely would.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's such a one.
16:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, that that comes up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, yeah, I mean, what is time?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Time is a man-made construct.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So
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[SPEAKER_01]: are also the time techniques might be a good one for that as well, so there's so many.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, once you have the principles and you know the foundation of NLP, then honestly, anybody can create scripts if they're using those principles and especially if it's been these are things that have been modeled over and over again and have proven to be successful.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So once you know the exact principles, you can create scripts and there's already so many
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[SPEAKER_00]: Can you do NLP on yourself or is it better to have someone facilitate or like walk you through an exercise?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think that depends on the technique that you're using.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of the reasons why I got into NLP was to sell process.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I first, I didn't think I was going to be using it in my coaching practice.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I really was just trying to get better myself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But the self-coaching and self-processing,
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[SPEAKER_01]: It would be a disservice for me that to bring this into my coaching practice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I feel like we've gotten that feedback from students who have gone through your like NLP certification course that it was just like that little, I mean, it's like a little huge shift.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how else to say it, but it's like once you learn those tools of NLP, not only are you going to change your entire life, but you're going to completely upgrade how you're able to coach and help.
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[SPEAKER_00]: others and I mean, I think for me selfishly, I'm like, well, I want to do it for myself, too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So my last question for you is like, once you learn an LP, is it something that
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[SPEAKER_00]: you do you need to do again and again or is it like one and done for different exercises?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's a good question because sometimes it is one and done, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So like in other times you do want to repeat it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So such is something like anchoring um which is another in helping technique and it is also an amazing one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's basically anchoring is the inlucky process of linking
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[SPEAKER_01]: like joy, like confidence, like calm, like focus, are any specific emotional trigger that you would want to anchor in.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And you can do it physically on your person.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And you can fully tap into all of the feelings of that emotion.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it helps to emotionally regulate and it helps you to move, move at emotions more easily.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So they're not just
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[SPEAKER_01]: programed on your subconscious, say, I anchor something on a knuckle.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I would continue to stack that anchor any time I want to feel that emotion or any time I'm in that emotional state.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So say if somebody that you dislike said something to you, that was quote unquote rude or bad, that could be a quick emotion that you feel and you could just quickly emotionally re-regulate with another anchor.
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[SPEAKER_01]: versus somebody who maybe doesn't have that anger and they're actually this conversation that they had earlier with this person is like keeping them up at night versus you could just move yourself swiftly out of that and you never even have to look back at how that makes you feel.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so when you say on your knuckle isn't like you're physically like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: programming your knuckle like yeah okay yeah that's so I now that you're saying this I feel like I did this years ago like I've received this where I was like
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to say I was like going like this or something maybe to my wrist?
20:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am so every time you're on I'm just so fascinated by the process and it reminds me that I probably need to get back into this and start utilizing it more because I think especially we're recording this at the beginning of the year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's a lot going on in the world as usual it seems like for us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: experience more joy and fulfillment in this life that just seems to be incredibly stockpiled with stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like wild what can happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I didn't even go into how successful Julia is on here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone like she has just done so much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's such a powerhouse businesswoman, leader, coach, trainer, practitioner, just as I feel like you've lived like a
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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so it's got, I mean, like, can we just say, like, all credit to God and an OP?
21:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes, we definitely can't say because An OP is really about identity work and that that's probably why I've been able to change my identity and re birth myself and reimagine how I want to experience like over and over again because you stop.
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[SPEAKER_01]: looking externally for the surface level validation and you start working on identity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I got it so amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've met Clea multiple times in person now and I can say, you can tell you're a happy joyful, emotionally regulated person, like just being in your present.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like it's something that we all should strive for.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's why our students love you so much too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because you are a product of the work.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I would have to say I have worked hard on myself for that, so I appreciate you seeing me.
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Always, thank you for coming back on the show, too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Any time, you know, I love you.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
21:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you are watching this and I know that this was a lot of information and Khalia's brain is just so like smarter than mine that I'm like, I need to go rewatch this to like learn these techniques again, but I have to say if you go into the notes and you find there is a free NLP workshop where Khalia demonstrates some of these techniques so you can learn more about it.
22:17
[SPEAKER_00]: But it
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[SPEAKER_00]: absolutely recommend, especially if you are doing more of life coaching where you are running into clients with limiting beliefs and repeating patterns that, you know, coaching is working, but you need it to work faster, NLP I think is the key that unlocks that door hands down.
22:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So check it out, follow Kalea, thank you again for being here.
22:39
[SPEAKER_00]: See you in class.