Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 026: Why You’re Gaining Weight in Menopause Even When Nothing Has Changed

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026: Why You’re Gaining Weight in Menopause Even When Nothing Has Changed · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Limitless Living podcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Frederica Davis, wellness expert, entrepreneur, and creator of the Limitless Reset Method.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: So today is Wellness Reset Thursday, where we talk about habits and small sustainable shifts and strategies that help your body, your mind, and your nervous system all reset so that you can feel and function better again.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, today I we're talking about one of the most frustrating topics for women in midlife, and that is weight.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Hands down, one of the most frustrating topics.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel like you're doing all the right things, or you feel like you're doing the same things you've always done, or maybe you feel like you're doing even more things that are supposed to make it all happen and work, but your body is responding completely different than you expect it to, or than it did in the past.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is an episode you are going to want to hear.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because one of the most frustrating parts of perimenopause and menopause is not just the weight gain itself.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's the feeling that the rules got changed and nobody sent you the memo.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're eating probably similarly.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're even eating less.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're trying all different types of plans or trying to move more, working out harder than ever before, whatever it is that you're doing.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you're doing all this, yet your body is still holding on to this weight, especially around the middle.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you can feel like it's not only just holding on to weight, it's actually bringing more on.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So the old things that once worked are feeling like they're just not working anymore.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's extremely frustrating for any of us to go through that.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling like this, this is for you.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I find that women really start to turn on themselves.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so if you've started thinking to yourself, what in the heck is wrong with me?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: What am I doing wrong?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: This used to work and now it's not working.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I suddenly gaining weight?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or why can't I get this off?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or why can't I figure this out?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or I just need more discipline, or I know I need to eat less.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to eat less.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I need to work out harder.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, any of those stories we tell ourselves, and sometimes there can be a little bit of truth to certain things, but we often take them to the extreme.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, that line of thinking is exactly what gets so many women stuck and even fights everything that you're doing.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because this phase of your life is not just asking for more effort.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's really asking you for a more strategic approach.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing I want you to understand is this menopause weight gain is absolutely real.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, is it ever?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But it is not as simple as so many people make it sound.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, all those ads for supplements and all those ads for do this and do that, and it's not.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: During the menopause transition, your body often starts to use energy differently.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then it starts to distribute the fat in different areas than it once would have.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And with age, there is also this natural loss of muscle mass that can make weight maintenance harder.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: We also have the fact that we get to this stage in life and we've lived through a longer period of stress, more than likely.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And depending on what kind of stress you had or how much you have of it and how long you've had it, we have more cortisol, we have more other types of things going on in our body too.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: So when when you say, I swear I'm doing all the right things and gaining weight anyway, you're not imagining that this is happening.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I promise you, things have changed.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're thinking this way, like, I know nothing's changed, I'm doing it all the same.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to start thinking to yourself and taking inventory because there is a good chance that you are sleeping, maybe not as well as you used to.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your stress tolerance is lower.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you recover more slowly than you once used to.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you used to be able to cover in two or three days, recover in two or three days, and now it's three or four days.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your workouts are not building the muscle and you're not getting the gains the way you once did, or your stamina isn't quite the same as it used to be.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe what you used to eat, and you know, as far as the amounts of sugar or alcohol, or maybe the same amount of late nights or mindless eating or inconsistent meals that your body once tolerated, maybe now they're hitting you differently.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: More than likely, that's what's going on.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So sleep disturbances, for example, during menopause will 100% contribute to weight gain.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Loss of muscle with age also makes metabolism a whole lot less forgiving, just as examples.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: So, no, none of this is in your head.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also not always that nothing changed.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been thinking, nothing's changed, I don't understand this.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I bet you if you start taking a little inventory and going back and looking, you may realize that many of these things have started to change and even a lot.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're and your body at this stage has changed.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason this feels so personal to us, to you, is because it is not just about weight.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is about identity.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It really can affect our identity.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: It is about looking in the mirror and maybe not recognizing what you see compared to what you used to see in the mirror.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes you feel uneasy and it affects your identity.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is about doing what used to work, but not getting the payoff anymore.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's also about feeling like you are trying and your body is just no longer cooperating.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: These all affect your identity.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where so many women become either extreme or defeated.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: They either start over-restricting, over-exercising, obsessing, chasing quick fixes.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Have you done any of these?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Or have you gotten so frustrated that you're just like, ah, forget it, and you stop trusting yourself altogether?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like that because nothing you've tried is working?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: If that's so, believe me, you're not alone.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's really this peace that does not get talked about enough.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because when your body starts changing in your 40s and 50s, it's not just physical.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: It is emotional, it's mental, it's your identity, it's your confidence.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's so much.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: It can make you feel discouraged.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then that equals less confident, less in control, like the gap between the effort you are having and the result you are getting is getting wider.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So for a woman who already feels overwhelmed, if you're feeling overwhelmed, like so many of you listening to this are probably feeling, and you're already feeling stretched in and feeling like you're carrying too much.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: This literally often, I see it all the time, can be the thing that kind of pushes you to your wit's end and makes you just feel like, okay, that's it.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm out, I just cannot get control and I don't know, whatever.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh everything is out of control.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I hear this a lot.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, what actually needs to change becomes our next question here.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's definitely not your worth.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: You are, no matter what size you are, no matter where the fat may be depositing itself now, no matter no matter where your energy levels may be, your moods may be, any of that stuff.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthy and it has nothing to do with that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about your value and it's not about your ability either to get results.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You are capable.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: What needs to actually change here is just the strategy to get the results.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, because if midlife weight gain is being driven by a combination of hormonal change, fat redistribution, sleep disruptions, muscle loss, stress, aging, then beating yourself up is definitely not a strategy.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You get the picture, but that's what we do.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is what we do so often.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: I've done it, I've witnessed it.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's what we do.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I want to give you a much more helpful framework.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of asking yourself, how do I get this damn weight off?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: How do I force it off of me?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's gotta be a way.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and we definitely can get it off.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to start asking yourself, what is making my body more inflamed?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: What's making it more stressed or more resistant right now?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to ask yourself, what has quietly changed over the last few years that I have not been accounting for?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of support would make my body feel safe enough to start to respond again?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this becomes a very different conversation with yourself than beating yourself up and pushing harder and trying harder and just um taxing your body more.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing I could easily spend this whole episode talking about how much protein you need, how much sleep, you know, blood sugar and over-training issues.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: But we've talked about that some.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And these are things you're seeing all over the place.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's something I will talk more about as time goes on and it will come into play.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And they are all important.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: But what I want to do and what I want to say about this is that if your body is gaining weight in menopause, the answer is usually not more punishment.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: It is not another extreme diet.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: It is not slashing calories into the floor or, you know, so that you have no energy.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: It is not hours of cardio trying to outrun your changing metabolism either.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's not buying 12 more supplements either because somebody online promised you that it'll fix your belly fat.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is about getting honest with what your body can no longer compensate for.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is the shift.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's meeting your body where you're at right now.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because your body, I promise you, is not broken.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: It might feel like it right now.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know there are days that I've had throughout my time where I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm I'm just a broken hot mess, right?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's not good self-talk.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's not good language for yourself.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're thinking these things, I really encourage you to counteract that because truly, your body's not broken.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's just simply less willing to absorb the chaos, whether that chaos is you from you pushing too hard or from stress or from hormonal changes or whatever, that chaos.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's less willing to bounce back from your neglect.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's less willing to pretend that your habits are neutral when they are no longer neutral to the body you have now.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, that can feel unfamiliar, but it is also very useful information.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing: once you stop treating this like a personal failure, you can then finally start solving the real problem.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: What I want you to do this week, if this is, you know, hitting home with you and striking a chord, I want you first and foremost to stop saying and thinking nothing has changed.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I want you to ask yourself what has actually changed in the last three to five years.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you, things have changed.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to stop judging your body by your old baseline.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your body was in a different place, your nervous system was in a different place, everything was in a different place.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to meet yourself where you're at now.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Third, I want you to make a short list of what your body is now less tolerant of.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So is it less tolerant of the late meals at night?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: How about sugar?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is it tolerating alcohol like it used to?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know mine's not.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was always the last person standing and coherent, and I still could be that, but I take forever to recover and then I inflame and then my joints hurt.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Giving you an example.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So do you think I drink much anymore?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nope, not at all.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm meeting my body where it's at now.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: How about poor sleep?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: How about stress?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: What is your body tolerating less of now and taking longer to recover from?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: How about inconsistent eating times or eating inconsistent amounts when you eat or too much sitting where you might have been fine for the first 15 years of your career or 20 years of career?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now you can't stand to sit for very long because it hurts?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: That means it cannot handle that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's been building, building, building.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: How about is it not tolerating very well too little muscle building activity?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, are you starting to feel weaker when you're doing things?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: How do the steps feel?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are things a little bit more labor some have not been paying attention to maintaining your muscle mass or growing your muscle mass at all?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And now your body's just not able to compensate for that.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: This list, when you make this, is kind of gold because it is going to give you direction.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever those is on, whatever is on your list of what you're not tolerating as well now, that is your list at that's going to be your roadmap.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And fourth, I want you to stop trying to fix all of it in one week.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you're an overwhelmed woman, and I think most of us are these days, honestly, the world we live in.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not, kudos, we can take that out of the mix.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're an overwhelmed woman who you the last thing you need is another impossible plan.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: You just need a clear plan, and you need clear steps one at a time, and that prevents more overwhelm and actually gets your results.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the question for you to reflect on this week.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Am I frustrated because my body is failing me?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or because I have been using old strategies in actually a new phase of life, and my needs have changed.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: If this conversation resonated with you, and you know another woman who might need to hear it, please share it with her.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your reviews actually help other women find the show and come join us in the Limitless Living community.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly where so many women are right now, you know, frustrated, confused, overwhelmed, and just trying so hard to get it right.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: And having a place that's safe with other like-minded women where you can ask questions and connect can be invaluable.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you want more resources, you can visit me and my website at www.fredericadavis.com.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll close with this.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: If your body has been responding differently lately, do not let that make you feel like you're powerless over what's happening.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, let it make you curious and learn about where your body's at and what's happening.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you understand that the rules really did change, you can stop blaming yourself so much and you can start working with your body in a way that will actually start getting you the results again.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where the real reset begins.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.