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Johnjay & Rich Present: HASH IT OUT · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Olivia, good morning. I understand you got something going on.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: We're here to help you. What's up?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Good morning? Yes, I do I need your help because well,
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: I'm actually I'm getting married in a few months and
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: everything is just turning out to be a total disaster.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: When I was a teenager, my dad had an affair
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: that completely blew up my family. Like my parents, they
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: went to this really ugly divorce and honestly, like it
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: affected us for like ever since, for years, and I
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: used to be really really angry at my dad. But
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: over like the last decade, we've both done a lot
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: of work. I mean, he's gone to therapy and we've
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: had hard conversations and just kind of rebuilt our relationship
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: from ground up. And you know, I know it was
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: everything that happened in the fair, Everything was horrible, But
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: I've always dreamed of my dad walking me down the
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: aisle when I got married. So a few weeks ago
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: I decided that, okay, like I'll ask him, and he
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: started crying. It was like, it was really sweet, one
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: of the most emotional moments like we've ever had together.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: But then the problem comes is when I went to
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: my mom and I told her and she like completely
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: shut down. She said, if my dad was walking down
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: the aisle, she doesn't know if she can even be
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: involved in my wedding. And now I feel like I'm
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: being forced to choose, like which parent I want there?
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: And this is supposed to be my happiest day of
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: my life. And I just I really want to call
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: my mom and try to air all this out.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Dang, Okay, you want to do that all on our
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: radio show? Call your mom?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I don't know a better way to
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: do it, so we might as well.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Just there is no better way to do it, right,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: because if she tries to have that conversation one on one,
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Mom's still going to have her hard sands. But at least,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: you know, if there's a room full of people, maybe
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: we can get through to her. And right like we
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: have Kyle in the room. Kyle is like the queen
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: of advice. She's going to be able to get through
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: to your mom.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: For We'll stay out of it because we don't want
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: to exactly.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, we got your mom's number, let's get on
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: the phone.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: What is your mom's name?
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: Jane?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Jane?
• 2:10
  Speaker 6: Okay, I actually think this is more common than we think.
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: I think my wife went through something like this.
• 2:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Hello, Hi is this Jane?
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, it is Hey Jane.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: This is John Jay and Rich. We do a radio show.
• 2:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we got a call from your daughter telling us
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: about her wedding coming out. She was very excited and
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: she was telling us about a couple things about it,
• 2:41
  Speaker 6: and she wanted to talk to you about some things
• 2:44
  Speaker 6: on our radio show.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Are you available for a few minutes?
• 2:48
  Speaker 8: Sure?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, Olivia, say hi to mom.
• 2:51
  Speaker 8: Mom's Hi, Hey Mom, Hi, sweet as how are you?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I really wanted to talk about the conversation we had
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: the other day, and I wanted to know if you
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: really won't come to my wedding if dad walks me
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: down the.
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: Aisle, Sweetheart, I'm saying, I just I don't know if
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: I can handle seeing that.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this mom, this is insane.
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: Olivia.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: No, because I've been dealing with wedding drama for months
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: and I never thought the biggest issue be my own parents.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: You know what your father did to me, I do like,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: literally better than anyone I was there.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: Then why are you doing this?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Because he's my dad and it's been fifteen years.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: He doesn't deserve that honor.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Mom. It's not about what he deserves. It's about what
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I want.
• 3:47
  Speaker 8: And what about what I want? I'm your mother?
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: What about what I want?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: But Okay, seriously, for one day, I need this to
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: be about me. Can you like not be selfish for
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: like five seconds? Seriously? I've spent my whole childhood's listening
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: to both sides, navigating holidays, avoiding certain topics, making sure
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: nobody gets upset, and I'm exhausted. Oh so now I'm
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: the bad guy. You're the one threatening not to come
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: to my wedding because I'm hurt, and I'm hurt that
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: you're putting me in this position.
• 4:19
  Speaker 8: Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't pretend that none
• 4:21
  Speaker 8: of it ever happened.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Nobody is asking you to All I'm asking you is
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: to sit in a chair for twenty minutes and watch
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: your daughter get married. There's going to be so many
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: people do that you don't even need to be around him.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: It's not that simple, Olivia.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: It's actually is Dad walks me down the aisle. You're
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: my mom. I want you there. Why is this even
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: a debate?
• 4:44
  Speaker 8: Because every single time I see him, that reminds me
• 4:47
  Speaker 8: of what he did.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Then, don't look at him, look at me, Olivia. No,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I'm seriously my odding, not your course, my dad's mistakes.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: It's my wedding. And if you choose not to come
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: because he's walking me down the aisle, that's your choice.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: But please, this will change our relationship forever.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: Come on, mom, it's about your daughter. It's not about you.
• 5:14
  Speaker 6: Be there for her. I would think that, in my opinion,
• 5:18
  Speaker 6: the love for your daughter is more powerful than the
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: hate or dislike you have for your ex.
• 5:25
  Speaker 9: Also, I feel like if you don't go in a way,
• 5:28
  Speaker 9: you're letting your ex win, you know what I mean.
• 5:30
  Speaker 9: Don't don't let that animosity steal the memory of you
• 5:34
  Speaker 9: watching your daughter get married. And I kind of feel like, almost, Olivia,
• 5:38
  Speaker 9: you could throw out an olive branch and have like
• 5:40
  Speaker 9: a special job or a special thing for your mom
• 5:43
  Speaker 9: to do in the wedding. So it's like you're kind
• 5:45
  Speaker 9: of honoring both parents.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, sure.
• 5:48
  Speaker 8: I appreciate you guys saying that, but you you were
• 5:52
  Speaker 8: not there. You did not see what you did to me,
• 5:55
  Speaker 8: for sure, not see what I went through. But this
• 5:58
  Speaker 8: is not.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: About that, say, I mean, you know what you're gonna
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: probably have to be around. Like let's say she has kids,
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: You're probably gonna both be at the hospital when when
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: your grandchild is born. Don't let all the stuff in
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: the past mess up your own future with your family.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: You just gotta play nice for that little time for
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: your kids eventually for the grandkids.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You just got to do it.
• 6:18
  Speaker 9: And it's uncomfortable and you are going to have those
• 6:20
  Speaker 9: feelings pop up again, and it's not gonna be the
• 6:23
  Speaker 9: greatest part about it. But what is the greatest part
• 6:26
  Speaker 9: about it is this is this is a monumental family
• 6:30
  Speaker 9: event that you can't miss of your daughters. Like you
• 6:33
  Speaker 9: would regret it so much if you did not go
• 6:36
  Speaker 9: because of him.
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: See be a hypocrite.
• 6:40
  Speaker 8: And he walks over to me with that smile and
• 6:43
  Speaker 8: his that smirk on his face, and I'm gonna explode
• 6:47
  Speaker 8: and I don't want to do that at my daughter's wedding,
• 6:49
  Speaker 8: But I don't. That's up her day.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta have a little bit of self control.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: And you know he's not in charge of your emotions.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: You are right.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: All she's asking you to do is just show up
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: and be present for her, which is so important. And
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: like Jessica he was a bad husband or a bad ex,
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: doesn't take away the fact that he's a good dad
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: to her at least now. And you gotta at least
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: take a little bit a little bit of that.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Is he with the woman that he was messing around
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: with during your marriage.
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: Yep, he probably bringing her to no one knew.
• 7:18
  Speaker 6: I was at a wedding. I saw a wedding like
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: that video of the wedding where it was the dad
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: married the mistress, then the daughter got married, and at
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: the wedding, the dad brought the mistress who he married
• 7:29
  Speaker 6: now and all of them together like Dancy holding hands,
• 7:34
  Speaker 6: and then after the wedding was over, the mom went
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: back to being mean to everybody.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: That's fine, That's what I mean. But she sucked it
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: up hours. She kind of chucked it up to be
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: there for the daughter's wedding.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: You better because you're you're look, your kids are affected
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: by it. Now, Jane, you just kind of you get
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: a sucking up for the kids.
• 7:50
  Speaker 8: You can do it.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Sorry, Olivia, you gotta go through this.
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: I'll think about it, all.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Right, Olivia, are you okay?
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I'm okay, all right?
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: So sorry that you have to go through this.
• 8:03
  Speaker 9: You know, after the wedding, I feel like we want
• 8:05
  Speaker 9: to hear like no, yeah, let it go, because I
• 8:07
  Speaker 9: feel like leading up to it, the stress is so heavy.
• 8:09
  Speaker 9: It's like whatever. But then there you're gonna party, You're
• 8:12
  Speaker 9: all gonna have a great time. And then, like John
• 8:13
  Speaker 9: Jay said, go back to just beginnings.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: All right, Thank you guys.
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: You get your comments, Texas, text JJR, whatever you want
• 8:19
  Speaker 6: to say about this situation.