Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #150| Why “12 Hours of Free Time” Is a Total Myth That Leads to Overwhelm (& How To Maximize What You Actually Have)
Transcript
- 0:05Kelly Nolan: I'm going to clutter up your calendar, but I'm going to lighten up your mind.
- 0:09Kelly Nolan: And to me, that is the much higher priority here.
- 0:14Michelle Gauthier: Working Woman the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:26Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach.
- 0:30Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:42Michelle Gauthier: Hi friend, if you've ever felt like you're drowning in your to-do list, raising my hand right now or falling constantly behind or just feeling guilty that you still can't seem to do it all, this episode is going to be great for you.
- 0:59Michelle Gauthier: My guest today is Kelly Nolan.
- 1:01Michelle Gauthier: I'm so excited to have her on.
- 1:02Michelle Gauthier: I basically stalked her down to try to get her to come and talk to you guys, because I love what she's doing.
- 1:08Michelle Gauthier: She is a former patent attorney and now she is a time management expert and she's the founder of something called the Bright Method, which is a practical, really structured system designed specifically for us professional women who are juggling a million things and feeling stretched too thin.
- 1:28Michelle Gauthier: So when you listen to Kelly's interview today, you're going to hear why your current time management system might be failing you and how to create one that actually works for your real life, and how to uncover and manage the invisible to-do list that's draining your energy.
- 1:38Michelle Gauthier: It was really interesting in our conversation thinking about all the things that we do that aren't anywhere on our to-do list or on our calendar, and then she's going to teach us, too, the key to using your calendar as a powerful tool for clarity and confidence and boundary setting.
- 1:54Michelle Gauthier: I'm really excited to have you on today.
- 1:58Michelle Gauthier: I absolutely love what you're doing and I can't wait to hear about it, but tell us first how you got into being a time management expert from after going to law school and being a patent lawyer, sure thing.
- 2:12Kelly Nolan: So I basically had been organized most of my life on the you know, I had my paper planners did okay, I would say organized on the time front.
- 2:21Kelly Nolan: On that front my physical organization skills are not up to snuff, but I had been organized and my systems of paper planners had gotten me far and things were going well.
- 2:30Kelly Nolan: And then I became an actual attorney and I got really overwhelmed pretty quickly.
- 2:35Kelly Nolan: I looked like I had it together on the outside, I was hitting deadlines, all of that, but inside I was way too anxious, way too stretched thin when I had time.
- 2:45Kelly Nolan: You know, outside of being an actual lawyer I just couldn't focus on my friends.
- 2:50Kelly Nolan: I was constantly thinking about work and worrying about things and just was like this cannot.
- 2:54Kelly Nolan: And I looked for time management help.
- 2:56Kelly Nolan: This was probably like 2012, 13, somewhere in there and there just wasn't much help out there.
- 3:11Kelly Nolan: Or, candidly, looking back, a lot of it was from men who probably had a lot more support at home than I did as a single person as an attorney, and I struggled for help, couldn't make anything stick, and then slowly over time, started cobbling together what I thought of as my own weird little system for managing my time, and I kept practicing.
- 3:28Kelly Nolan: I thought that the system I'd come up with was just helping me get to where everybody else already was.
- 3:33Kelly Nolan: That's how it felt at the time, and it wasn't until years later that I realized oh, other people feel like I felt, and so I started teaching time management, and that's what I do now.
- 3:44Kelly Nolan: I teach what now I call the Bright Method.
- 3:46Kelly Nolan: My own weird little system is now rebranded into something that sounds cool.
- 3:50Michelle Gauthier: Yes, it does.
- 3:51Michelle Gauthier: I love the name.
- 3:52Michelle Gauthier: I love the name.
- 3:53Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, that is so cool.
- 3:55Michelle Gauthier: Okay, so when you said you teach the Bright Method, how do you teach it?
- 4:00Michelle Gauthier: Like, if somebody wants to learn about it, is it a class?
- 4:03Michelle Gauthier: Do they work with you one-on-one?
- 4:11Kelly Nolan: Yep.
- 4:11Kelly Nolan: So historically, I've run it in two eight-week programs each year, usually start of the calendar year and the start of the school year.
- 4:14Kelly Nolan: In this fall, in 2025, I'm going to be starting to run it more open so that people can join when it's best for them, because it is a time-consuming process to learn, which is a little ironic when you're feeling strapped on time, and so I want people to be able to jump in when it works for them, and so I should be still hammering out all the details, but opening it kind of like at the first of each month between September and probably April, and what it is is I walk people through step by step, through learning the system and kind of like four chapters and dig into it, and then we have a couple of weeks where we run the whole system out together and happy to go into it more.
- 4:51Michelle Gauthier: Yes, I definitely want to hear all about it, because one of the big pillars that we talk about on this podcast is time management.
- 4:59Michelle Gauthier: Lots of things that come in to cause overwhelm, but I feel like being able to efficiently and effectively manage your time is a huge portion of what causes overwhelm.
- 5:10Michelle Gauthier: So I definitely want to ask you about that.
- 5:12Michelle Gauthier: How did you know that it just wasn't?
- 5:16Michelle Gauthier: You said you had this paper system that you would use, and then something happened and that just didn't work anymore.
- 5:22Michelle Gauthier: What was that thing like?
- 5:26Michelle Gauthier: Because my clients will talk about how they've been able to handle things for a long time and all of a sudden they're completely overwhelmed.
- 5:31Michelle Gauthier: Was it a specific thing, or can you say what it was for you for?
- 5:35Kelly Nolan: me well taking a step back.
- 5:38Kelly Nolan: I just I think my belief and it's just my, you know, based on the clients I work with is that a lot of us have systems that get us very far and then there's some tipping point in life that happens that life becomes more complicated and the systems that got us far just can't keep up.
- 5:55Kelly Nolan: For me I was an early bloomer, it was my first real job.
- 5:59Kelly Nolan: For other people it's becoming a manager, becoming an executive.
- 6:04Kelly Nolan: It might be switching to a different company.
- 6:06Kelly Nolan: It might be having a first kid maybe having a second kid.
- 6:10Kelly Nolan: It can be a lot of different things, maybe helping a parent.
- 6:12Kelly Nolan: There are a lot of tipping points where again, life gets more complicated and suddenly this system that you always use to give you clarity no longer is making you feel the way you want to feel inside and giving you that clarity.
- 6:26Kelly Nolan: And, at least for past me, I was like, well, I've always used the system, it's always worked, so it must be me when in reality I think it's just a system failure, that it can't.
- 6:33Kelly Nolan: It just can't keep.
- 6:35Michelle Gauthier: Yes, yes, okay.
- 6:36Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, that's very in line with what I hear about overwhelm in general.
- 6:40Michelle Gauthier: Where I've been fine, I've been an overachiever all my life, I've managed all these things, I will say often, the second baby is the put it over the edge.
- 6:49Michelle Gauthier: You can't just can't manage all the things at the same time.
- 6:52Michelle Gauthier: So that makes sense, that you see that one too Okay.
- 6:55Michelle Gauthier: So tell me about the bright method.
- 6:58Michelle Gauthier: I love the name, first of all, and since you were a patent lawyer, I love that it has a little TM after it too.
- 7:03Michelle Gauthier: It's official.
- 7:04Michelle Gauthier: Of course you're going to cover down on that.
- 7:08Michelle Gauthier: So tell me what it is as a time management system and like how it's different from your basic time management system.
- 7:20Kelly Nolan: Yeah, well, I think it's just really geared towards helping professional working women, and I think that what I've realized is, in the past, a lot of the systems I had tried before again were often by men, and it's no knock on men, but typically, very broadly, generally speaking, men usually have more support from their spouse at home than women do, and double whammy women are often providing that support, so there's even more on their plate, and so really, what I think it comes down to that's a differentiator is that it helps with the mental load that goes with all the roles and we can get into that, and it also helps people draw boundaries in a more clear way, but in a way that works for women.
- 7:59Kelly Nolan: Like you have to, we have to be comfortable to draw boundaries, comfortable enough and like know how to phrase it, because we know it comes off differently when women draw boundaries than men and things like that, and so I like working on that with women as well, and I find that we'll talk about it more.
- 8:14Kelly Nolan: But like what the bright method gives you helps you feel more confident standing in your know or drawing a boundary, whatever it might be, because you feel like you have a better sense that your boundary is objectively reasonable, given everything on your plate.
- 8:31Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that makes sense.
- 8:32Michelle Gauthier: Like you can look at it and see yeah, I'm not just saying I don't have enough time, I have everything, the system and the way we'll talk about it just is everything's visual.
- 9:01Kelly Nolan: You can see it.
- 9:02Kelly Nolan: I can look at my calendar and see what's on my plate and see what has to move and push back and be like, no, I have this other deadline at this time, and it just gives you a lot of clarity.
- 9:11Kelly Nolan: That I just was.
- 9:12Kelly Nolan: I was lacking before.
- 9:13Michelle Gauthier: Yes, absolutely, and I think, at least in my experience with working in corporate, a lot of companies' cultures are built around the idea.
- 9:24Michelle Gauthier: I'm assuming law is definitely in the same thing, where working a ton, working many hours, that whole, well, this has to be done tomorrow.
- 9:33Michelle Gauthier: I don't know how you're going to get it done, but it has to be done tomorrow.
- 9:36Michelle Gauthier: And so the thought of having like a fully laid out here's everything I'm working on, here's how long it's going to take I mean I just feel calm inside thinking about that.
- 9:45Kelly Nolan: I love that.
- 9:46Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, so how do we get there?
- 9:47Michelle Gauthier: I know it's much that we can cover on like a 30 minute podcast, but just high level.
- 9:52Michelle Gauthier: What is the right method?
- 9:54Kelly Nolan: So basically what it is is, even though I was a paper planner lover again, I just don't think it could keep up with life, and so I do go all in on a digital calendar.
- 10:03Kelly Nolan: Just to be really clear, I still process paper and pen.
- 10:06Kelly Nolan: I have a legal pad right next to me still, but when it comes to actually managing time and understanding where time is going, I do think a digital calendar just can't be beat.
- 10:15Kelly Nolan: So I focus on that.
- 10:16Kelly Nolan: It's either Outlook, google, apple, some combination of those, and so we leverage those systems with a lot of smart strategies.
- 10:25Kelly Nolan: So in chapter one, what we do is we dig into the invisible personal to-do list, so kind of everything we're managing at home.
- 10:34Kelly Nolan: If you really think about, like, especially your mornings and your evenings, all the things that we do like showering and getting ready, walking your dog, making meals if you have little kids, bed and bath times with kids if you have older kids, homework, like if you don't have kids, all the other things that we do with our time all of those things take up a ton of mental space, but they also take up hours of our day and, oh my gosh, I have to pause for a second because I've literally never thought about my taking a shower and getting ready as like a to do list item, an invisible to do list item.
- 11:06Michelle Gauthier: But you do have to build that, you know, 45 minutes or whatever, especially if I have to dry my hair.
- 11:12Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, takes a while.
- 11:14Kelly Nolan: Yeah, yeah.
- 11:14Kelly Nolan: And that's what I love about this is it's exactly what you're saying is we don't tend to put it on our calendar, we don't tend to tend to put it on a to do list, and yet that and all those other things I mentioned we're playing that jigsaw puzzle in our head here is do all of that but then put it in the calendar.
- 11:41Kelly Nolan: And what I love about a digital calendar is you can repeat things you know every workday or every Monday, wednesday, it looks like this you can repeat them and then you move them around Like I'm not like, and then you live it your life rigidly, like.
- 11:50Kelly Nolan: That's not the point.
- 11:51Kelly Nolan: It's just get all the things that you already are juggling out of your head and into a system so you can see them visually and understand.
- 11:59Kelly Nolan: Does this even work?
- 12:01Kelly Nolan: And sometimes you see, oh, I've been trying to do an hour and a half of things in an hour and that's why my mornings are tough.
- 12:06Kelly Nolan: And I can readjust then, and also it shows you what's left over, like what your actual capacity is to do other things, and that's really important, because often we're like I have 12 hours to figure out what to do today and in reality, four or five of those hours are taken up by all the things that we just talked about, and so it's a good reality check on what is your actual capacity.
- 12:28Kelly Nolan: So that's where we start.
- 12:29Kelly Nolan: When is your energy great?
- 12:31Kelly Nolan: How do you want to match make that?
- 12:33Kelly Nolan: What are your high energy things?
- 12:34Kelly Nolan: How do you plan you know?
- 12:44Kelly Nolan: How much email do you deal with every day?
- 12:44Kelly Nolan: How are we going to protect at least some time for that?
- 12:46Kelly Nolan: It doesn't have to be.
- 12:46Kelly Nolan: You know, email is a good nook and cranny activity, but it also.
- 12:49Kelly Nolan: If you have five hours of email every day, you should probably block at least three hours on your calendar for it, Things like that.
- 12:55Kelly Nolan: Chapter three is really when we get into more of the one-off to-do list stuff.
- 12:59Kelly Nolan: That's where a lot of people like to start with time blocking, and I think that's often a big mistake and an understandable one.
- 13:05Kelly Nolan: That people make is they hear about time blocking and putting things in your calendar and you're like, cool, I'm going to start doing that.
- 13:10Kelly Nolan: But again, if you are looking at 12 hours of free time, you time block that beautifully.
- 13:14Michelle Gauthier: forget all the invisible stuff then you don't have a realistic game plan and then you think the plan doesn't work.
- 13:21Michelle Gauthier: Yes, when really it's just you're not considering everything.
- 13:23Michelle Gauthier: Ok, that makes a lot of sense.
- 13:25Kelly Nolan: Yeah, you either blame yourself or you blame time blocking without realizing.
- 13:28Kelly Nolan: You know it's a totally understandable mistake to make, but that can help.
- 13:32Kelly Nolan: A lot is starting where we start.
- 13:34Kelly Nolan: And then the last component is there are a couple of planning sessions I recommend like annually and things like that, but the big one is a weekly planning session that I love to hold on Fridays, maybe Thursdays if Fridays are tough for you, if your energy is too low.
- 13:49Michelle Gauthier: And what do you do on Friday?
- 13:51Kelly Nolan: So I am a big proponent of really being clear about what you're trying to accomplish and when we talk about what I think a successful planning session looks like, it can be about two hours.
- 14:03Kelly Nolan: I like to be really realistic about planning and time management in general and so in that planning session, high level overview is.
- 14:13Kelly Nolan: Step one is gather all the action items that have come at you, flown at you over the week from all the different places and that can look different for people.
- 14:22Kelly Nolan: That can look differently.
- 14:24Kelly Nolan: You know if you're in Slack or Teams or email or your head, or just even looking at your project overview, I teach a bird's eye view of like what are all the things on your plate?
- 14:33Michelle Gauthier: Think about all of those.
- 14:34Kelly Nolan: But it also can be your natural tendencies.
- 14:36Kelly Nolan: Like I, if I'm on the go, I use Apple reminders just to capture to-dos, and so one of my line items during that week is to go look at my reminders and pull out all of the to-dos and then bridge them to the calendar, make sure you kind of have captured everything you need to do and roughly throw it in the calendar when you think it's going to happen, when you think you need to do.
- 15:03Kelly Nolan: It can be next week, be three weeks from now, could be three months from now.
- 15:05Kelly Nolan: And then step two is kind of smoothing out the next two weeks.
- 15:09Kelly Nolan: I like planning two weeks at a time.
- 15:10Kelly Nolan: I just think it's really helpful to have a little bit of a broader view than just a week, and that can be smoothing things out.
- 15:17Kelly Nolan: You, you know, pushing things out, prioritizing within the calendar, that kind of stuff.
- 15:20Kelly Nolan: It can also be looking at child care planning, you know, just making sure you have extra child care where you need it, extra pet care, things like that Okay.
- 15:29Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that makes sense.
- 15:30Michelle Gauthier: I like the concept.
- 15:31Michelle Gauthier: I've never thought about doing two weeks out until I started listening to your podcast, and I think it's a really interesting concept, because then you kind of have already done a once over on the week you're on and then you're doing the long view on the second week, so that just sort of once you get into that rhythm, I bet that feels really good, where you can kind of fine tune the week that's coming up and you're not starting from scratch.
- 15:53Kelly Nolan: Yeah, and I think that there are some things that we see, and I should say, even farther than two weeks out, that you're like oh man, I got to start working on that now you don't want to just see something and I will say that's a line item and kind of that.
- 16:05Kelly Nolan: Step one is you don't necessarily have to back out and plan out how you're going to accomplish all your projects in like, let's say, the next three months during a planning session.
- 16:16Kelly Nolan: But pretend you're a lawyer.
- 16:18Kelly Nolan: When I was a litigator you know there's some deadlines that you just want to scan the next three months and make sure that type of deadline's not on there, because if you have like a motion for summary judgment.
- 16:28Kelly Nolan: You need to know that three months in advance and maybe more.
- 16:31Kelly Nolan: And so you?
- 16:32Kelly Nolan: That's the type of stuff that you don't.
- 16:33Kelly Nolan: Again, you don't have to like every deadline you see in the next three months, figure out how you're going to accomplish it, but you want to see those big ones and you want to be kind of consistently looking at the horizon for those two.
- 16:45Michelle Gauthier: Okay, okay, that makes sense.
- 16:45Michelle Gauthier: And what are some of the things that the women who are in your group and learning your methods?
- 16:51Michelle Gauthier: What are some of the things that they object to or struggle with in terms of getting all of their time on paper?
- 16:59Michelle Gauthier: Like, do they say I can't do this, or it takes too much time to plan it, or it's too structured, like, what are some of the objections that someone might have if they're going from paper planning or very loose planning to this method?
- 17:13Michelle Gauthier: That's much more strategic and specific.
- 17:16Kelly Nolan: Yep, I would say the biggest initial one is this looks really overwhelming.
- 17:22Kelly Nolan: There is a lot in there, and I do teach tech strategies to help it not be quite so overwhelming, but it is.
- 17:31Kelly Nolan: I mean, we are putting a lot more in your calendar than you probably have traditionally done and I think that people are suddenly like I don't, this is over.
- 17:42Kelly Nolan: I don't like it, and what I encourage people to do is think this is just reflecting what you're already doing with your time.
- 17:50Kelly Nolan: You're just now having to see it and confront it, but it's already what you were doing with your time Again before.
- 17:57Kelly Nolan: You might've just held all of the things you're seeing in your head, where now we're just getting it out of your head and into a calendar that we can play with and we can be flexible with it.
- 18:06Kelly Nolan: We don't have to live with this rigidly, but now we get to play with it outside of our brains, and what I really think about it is.
- 18:13Kelly Nolan: The other thing I would say, too, is often the calendar looks and feels overwhelming to read through, because it's a great red flag that you are trying to do too much.
- 18:26Kelly Nolan: To me, there's such a simple elegance of a digital calendar that there's only so much space.
- 18:34Kelly Nolan: There are only so many blocks of things that are going to fit in there.
- 18:37Kelly Nolan: Much space, there are only so many blocks of things that are going to fit in there.
- 18:40Kelly Nolan: And if it is overwhelming and you're tightening things up to try and fit it in and all that kind of stuff, that's just a red flag for you that you're trying to do an objectively unrealistic amount of things.
- 18:48Kelly Nolan: And that can be hard.
- 18:49Kelly Nolan: I'm not saying that.
- 18:50Kelly Nolan: I mean there's a lot of frustration in that, but I really encourage people to run towards that front end frustration because it will save you day to day living from stress if you are planning more realistically.
- 19:04Michelle Gauthier: Yes, I feel like your point I love.
- 19:06Michelle Gauthier: I just want to repeat, because it was so good is that your digital calendar might look more cluttered than you're used to seeing, but your brain feels so much more clear and you and I both know from working with women who feel overwhelmed that when your brain is clear you can make actual progress on things.
- 19:24Michelle Gauthier: When your brain is cluttered, you can't even decide what to start on because you're just in that space of overwhelm.
- 19:31Michelle Gauthier: This is just reminding me of when I first got divorced and I was trying to figure out having my own business, being a single mom and the finances of that.
- 19:39Michelle Gauthier: I had to go and start checking all my bank transactions every day and it's one of those things you want to look at for the listener I'm covering my eye and kind of looking away like.
- 19:50Michelle Gauthier: I don't even want to see how many times I went to Starbucks last week and I came from a previous life where I wouldn't have even thought about that or worried about that.
- 20:00Michelle Gauthier: So it did kind of give me like a stress response to see them.
- 20:04Michelle Gauthier: But the more that I looked at them yeah, and just like you said, it's a quick red flag If you're spending more than you're actually bringing in you're like, oh OK, I'm overspent on this.
- 20:15Michelle Gauthier: And it's very similar to what you're talking about with the calendar.
- 20:23Michelle Gauthier: And now when I don't look at the transactions I feel anxious, like I want to see them all come in so I can be like yeah, I know that one, I chose to spend that one, so it feels completely different.
- 20:29Michelle Gauthier: So I like that.
- 20:30Michelle Gauthier: It's kind of like getting used to the idea of seeing all these things outside of your brain, when we're used to carrying them around in our brain Absolutely.
- 20:39Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, that's awesome.
- 20:41Michelle Gauthier: So you work, are basically working all the time with women who feel stretched too thin when they realize they can't do it all or that they're there have way more things on their to do list than they can actually do.
- 20:55Michelle Gauthier: If they feel bad about that or guilty about that, how do you advise them?
- 21:00Michelle Gauthier: What should they do?
- 21:01Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, got more than they can actually handle.
- 21:05Kelly Nolan: Well, they're kind of two big different approaches, based on personal and professional, because obviously in some we have more control than the other.
- 21:12Kelly Nolan: Sometimes, on the personal side of things, I do feel like a lot of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves on the personal front, whether it's goal setting or house projects or whatever it is, and there can be a real, you know, confrontation moment with yourself on the expectations that we're putting on ourselves.
- 21:31Kelly Nolan: Let's say you've come to the realization that you can't do it all, but now you're like.
- 21:34Kelly Nolan: But now what do I do?
- 21:35Kelly Nolan: There are a couple of different approaches.
- 21:37Kelly Nolan: One, I think, is having a great like, having a place.
- 21:41Kelly Nolan: I think of this as my bird's eye view.
- 21:44Kelly Nolan: That I was mentioning is kind of like the overview in my business or your professional life, and then the overview in your personal life, like the big buckets of things, not all the little big buckets In my business.
- 21:54Kelly Nolan: It's also like you know the main projects I'm working on at a time, maybe the products I'm selling and your career.
- 22:12Kelly Nolan: It might be like your own career goals those like kind of big bucket type things and then also all of your active projects and maybe some of your like back burner type projects.
- 22:23Kelly Nolan: And speaking of the back burner thing on your personal life and your business life, I think it's really helpful to have some sort of back burner column that you can park things that you're not going to do right now.
- 22:33Kelly Nolan: Or an alternative is you just keep a list of some somewhere that, let's say, you have a lot of house projects you want to do.
- 22:39Kelly Nolan: You have like a house project apple note in that planning session.
- 22:43Kelly Nolan: What you do is remind yourself to go, look at those places and evaluate.
- 22:48Kelly Nolan: Do I want to do one of these things now?
- 22:50Kelly Nolan: And I find that just having somewhere I can park those things that I'm kind of coming to terms, that I can't do right now, having somewhere to park them and know I'll revisit them each week or each month, really helps me.
- 23:03Kelly Nolan: Let them go and take the pressure off of.
- 23:04Kelly Nolan: I think sometimes we kind of like think about things or feel like we have to do them because we're afraid we're going to forget if we don't.
- 23:10Michelle Gauthier: And as long as you can kind of park, something that's good.
- 23:13Kelly Nolan: I kind of went off on a tangent there, going to like, let's say, I have too much to do.
- 23:18Kelly Nolan: That's.
- 23:19Kelly Nolan: One option is to kind of look at all the things, brain dump them, if you want to, and pull out anything that can wait.
- 23:24Kelly Nolan: Put them on one of those back burner columns or those lists or calendar out six months from now, consider doing this, and just then get it off your brain dump to-do list type thing and just start calling out what can I punt out, what can I really punt out.
- 23:39Kelly Nolan: Then move for the more shorter term things and then the medium ground.
- 23:44Kelly Nolan: That's really good on the personal front, where we a little bit have some more control over what we do In the professional life.
- 23:50Kelly Nolan: That can be obviously harder and what I really recommend doing this is harder than it sounds, but I also think it's doable is what is the top department organization, whatever you want to think about, what is the top goal we're working towards right now and which of these projects support that and which ones don't and could be punted out.
- 24:13Kelly Nolan: And if you have the autonomy to make some of those calls and say, actually we're going to prioritize these three things, and part of prioritizing is making sure we have the time and energy as a team to do them, and that requires eliminating other things.
- 24:25Kelly Nolan: Then you can make those tough calls.
- 24:26Kelly Nolan: I find having the clarity of what's the one goal we're working on right now to really help with that.
- 24:31Kelly Nolan: If you can't make those calls, though, that helps you go into a conversation with the data at your fingertips in that way and say, hey, from where I'm sitting right now, this is the top goal.
- 24:45Kelly Nolan: Given that, I think these are the projects we should prioritize.
- 24:47Kelly Nolan: I do not think we can accomplish these other things and those three things and I want to make sure we get those top three priorities projects done, even if you're wrong on what the top goal is.
- 24:57Kelly Nolan: That conversation just exhibits such leadership to me and strategic thinking, versus just going in and being like I am overwhelmed.
- 25:04Kelly Nolan: Yeah.
- 25:05Michelle Gauthier: I can't do all of this.
- 25:11Kelly Nolan: Yeah, but I feel about this approach is you're demonstrating leadership, which I think often we shy away from these conversations because we're afraid we'll come off as weak.
- 25:14Michelle Gauthier: where this, I think you can come off as strong, even if you're wrong again on what the top priority is yes, exactly If I'm thinking about a former employee coming to me and saying these are all the things I'm working on.
- 25:24Michelle Gauthier: I think these are the top three priorities.
- 25:26Michelle Gauthier: I can't get to these other two.
- 25:28Michelle Gauthier: I'd be so delighted, instead of just saying I don't know what to do.
- 25:31Michelle Gauthier: I'm overwhelmed.
- 25:32Michelle Gauthier: You know that really shows like initiative and leadership.
- 25:36Kelly Nolan: Yeah, I think the final great part of that too is hopefully you're getting to then keep and move forward with projects you're also really enjoying.
- 25:43Kelly Nolan: And I think that part of the beauty of coming up with solutions in these things is hopefully the solution you want that they then pick up on and run with.
- 25:50Kelly Nolan: And I will say just to be realistic, I've had clients where a lot of these conversations have gone really well.
- 25:57Kelly Nolan: Often, I think, bosses have no idea what's fully on your plate and had no idea that you were in so many meetings that you want to eliminate some meetings or have so many projects they don't know, and so there are a lot of great bosses out there who I've been pleasantly delighted have been, have had great responses, and then there's some that haven't, and I've had that in my own life and to me, boundaries in the way that we're talking about essentially still work even when they don't, because they show you the person's true colors, and that is really good data for you to know.
- 26:29Kelly Nolan: Moving forward Doesn't mean you have to leave the job right away, but I do think it helps inform how much of our life are we willing to sacrifice for this job that's not willing to show up for us in that way?
- 26:40Kelly Nolan: So, yeah, it's still really good data too.
- 26:42Michelle Gauthier: Yes, interesting information, yes, yes, okay, great.
- 26:45Michelle Gauthier: I love this whole method and concept and I think that once you have the faith in your calendar and you believe that if something's on your calendar it will get done, it feels great to put like I just kicked something out to June and I'm not going to give it any thought until I get there.
- 27:02Michelle Gauthier: And when I get to June I'm going to be surprised.
- 27:04Michelle Gauthier: I'll be like, oh yeah, that's great, I forgot about this.
- 27:06Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, I feel I can rest assured that I don't have to think about it because I know I have this system and that's how I work it.
- 27:14Michelle Gauthier: And when I get there I'll evaluate Is it June or is it going to go to August, or is this the month that I work on it?
- 27:19Michelle Gauthier: So even if you are listening and thinking, oh my gosh, that sounds so overwhelming, it feels like one of those things that might be surge overwhelming, like it might be overwhelming at first, but once you get it and you have the system, you can feel so much calmer.
- 27:35Kelly Nolan: Yeah, I completely agree.
- 27:36Kelly Nolan: I love it.
- 27:37Kelly Nolan: I love your point on that.
- 27:39Kelly Nolan: You'll get to June and be like, oh yeah, because like that in and of itself is valuable, because then your energy about it is fresh, in and of itself is valuable, because then your energy about it is fresh, there's excitement versus if you are staring this down on your to-do list for until June and you're going to be like already sick of it and tired of it exactly I hate there's a real difference.
- 27:57Michelle Gauthier: I only like on my calendar what I'm going to actually do that week, yeah.
- 28:02Kelly Nolan: I think that's great, yes.
- 28:03Michelle Gauthier: Yes, Okay, great.
- 28:05Michelle Gauthier: Well, I want to ask you the two questions that I ask every guest.
- 28:08Michelle Gauthier: The first one is what is something that you do when you feel overwhelmed to make yourself feel better?
- 28:16Kelly Nolan: Well, candidly, my first reaction is to protect energy as best I can.
- 28:20Kelly Nolan: So, as lame as it sounds, prioritizing sleep and, unfortunately, cutting out alcohol, I have found to be really good.
- 28:28Kelly Nolan: Like, everything's better when you have energy, so when you're overwhelmed more energy is not going to hurt.
- 28:33Kelly Nolan: So that's really valuable On the time management front, I would say, is really identifying what's stressing me out, what's the real issue or issues stressing me out, and then thinking about how can I use my calendar to help me see how this can get done.
- 28:50Kelly Nolan: So if there was a work meeting that is causing a lot of overwhelm and anxiety, it's really just sitting down with a paper and pen and being like what are all the things I have to do to make this meeting a success?
- 29:00Kelly Nolan: I got to draft the slides.
- 29:02Kelly Nolan: I might have to edit the slides.
- 29:04Kelly Nolan: I might need to get data from someone.
- 29:05Kelly Nolan: I need to polish it.
- 29:06Kelly Nolan: I'm going to want to practice the presentation, probably twice.
- 29:09Kelly Nolan: I need to figure out what I'm going to wear.
- 29:11Kelly Nolan: I'm going to need to go to the dry cleaners.
- 29:13Kelly Nolan: I need to pick up from the dry cleaners.
- 29:14Kelly Nolan: I need to shower and get ready.
- 29:15Kelly Nolan: I need to pack up my bag, like all the little things, and then calendar those out.
- 29:19Kelly Nolan: And what's really strange to me is how much that reduces my anxiety around something because I think it helps our brains understand okay, this can get done.
- 29:31Kelly Nolan: I see how it can get done and it does not all need to get done right now.
- 29:34Kelly Nolan: Just like approach this step by step, and that really helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed?
- 29:42Michelle Gauthier: Okay, okay, that's great.
- 29:43Michelle Gauthier: So, essentially, sleep, don't drink.
- 29:46Michelle Gauthier: And then plan it on your calendar.
- 29:48Michelle Gauthier: Okay, perfect, I love it.
- 29:51Michelle Gauthier: And then second and this might be real obvious based on what we just talked about but what's something you do to save yourself time or effort?
- 29:59Kelly Nolan: Well, I'll skip the obvious stuff of you know what I love and I will say that one thing I do is I do work from home.
- 30:05Kelly Nolan: And one thing I shifted a while ago now I can't even remember is I do not clean the house when I'm at home.
- 30:13Kelly Nolan: I will do things like laundry, like you know, getting the big things moving through the system, but the kitchen's a mess.
- 30:19Kelly Nolan: My office is kind of a mess.
- 30:20Kelly Nolan: I don't really deal with the cleaning until my kids are home and then I try and clean everything.
- 30:26Kelly Nolan: My office I might clean because I'm like in here and it bothers me at a certain point, but I found that you know you can spend a lot of time all day long cleaning up your house, for sure, yes.
- 30:36Kelly Nolan: And I think just realizing that's a great activity to do with my kids are around, I can talk to them.
- 30:40Kelly Nolan: They tend to follow me around and you know I can like talk to them then, and we're moving around versus spending my very cherished limited child care hours cleaning up.
- 30:49Michelle Gauthier: Yes, yes, so you save yourself time by doing the thing you're supposed to be doing during the time that you've allotted to do it.
- 30:56Kelly Nolan: I love it.
- 30:57Michelle Gauthier: That's great, that's great.
- 31:00Michelle Gauthier: This was so good, Kelly.
- 31:02Michelle Gauthier: Thank you so much.
- 31:03Michelle Gauthier: Before we wrap up, I will put your website in the show notes, but I want you to tell us about a free way that people can work with you.
- 31:12Kelly Nolan: Well, thank you so much for having me, Michelle.
- 31:13Kelly Nolan: This was really fun and it was a joy to have you on my podcast too, so definitely go check out Michelle's podcast also.
- 31:19Kelly Nolan: I have a free five-day program.
- 31:21Kelly Nolan: I call it the Reset and Refresh.
- 31:23Kelly Nolan: I'll share the link and basically it's for five days.
- 31:26Kelly Nolan: You get free five video lessons with guides to walk you through some of the pillars of this.
- 31:31Kelly Nolan: I have a lot of women who go through it and that's all they need and off they are running and if you want more, it's a great way to get a taste of what the Bright Method is beyond today's episode.
- 31:40Kelly Nolan: I do believe that time management is incredibly personal.
- 31:44Kelly Nolan: I don't think that everyone should be using my method.
- 31:47Kelly Nolan: It's just if it's a right fit for you.
- 31:49Kelly Nolan: I'd love to get to work with you and it's a great way to check it out.
- 31:52Kelly Nolan: So it's at kellynolancom slash refresh, but again, the link can be in the show notes.
- 31:56Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, I'll definitely put those on the show notes so they're easy to find.
- 31:59Michelle Gauthier: And if you are loving this conversation and this idea, your podcast is also called the Bright Method.
- 32:07Kelly Nolan: Yes, yes, thank you I can listen to.
- 32:10Michelle Gauthier: Yes, so they can listen to your podcast as well.
- 32:13Michelle Gauthier: And it was funny when I reached this random little backstory but when I reached out to Kelly and pitched for me to be on her podcast and she said, oh my gosh, I listened to your podcast.
- 32:23Michelle Gauthier: So I feel like we are a very similar minds and if you like the things that I'm talking about, you'll like what Kelly's talking about and vice versa because we're both trying to solve the same type of problem, so I really loved collaborating with you.
- 32:37Michelle Gauthier: It feels great, and now I feel like I have another new friend that I made from podcast Absolutely.
- 32:42Kelly Nolan: I love that.
- 32:42Kelly Nolan: I love that.
- 32:43Kelly Nolan: More business friends yeah exactly, exactly Okay.
- 32:47Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for being here today.
- 32:48Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 32:56Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.
- 33:00Michelle Gauthier: com.
- 33:02Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.