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Just Be You! · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:22
Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners and welcome to Is your Way In your Way and for those new listeners out there.
0:31
Cassandra: I just want to share with you what this podcast is all about.
0:35
Cassandra: It's for those individuals who are ready I mean really ready to move forward, a little unsettled about your life and things that's going on in your life.
0:47
Cassandra: And by being unsettled and having those roadblocks and those self-imposed barriers, it's time for us to mitigate those things that's preventing us from living our best life on your terms.
0:57
Cassandra: And also, is your Way In your Way is my book the title of my book, and it's a self-discovery journey for women on how to restore yourself, learn from experiences and be your true self again.
1:12
Cassandra: And we talk about topics on this podcast related to personal development, personal growth, business development and even it allows you an opportunity to do some self-reflection.
1:23
Cassandra: And, with that said, our title today is Just Be you.
1:28
Cassandra: And who better to talk about that with us is Andrea Johnson.
1:33
Cassandra: And Andrea, I'd like to welcome you to the stage.
1:37
Cassandra: Hello there.
1:38
Andrea: Hello Cassandra, I am happy to be here.
1:43
Cassandra: I'm happy you're here so I can just be me too.
1:45
Cassandra: So, listeners, you know my new listeners what I do is I just read a little bit about Andrea, just so you can get a little background on her before we delve into our conversation Now.
1:59
Cassandra: Andrea Johnson is a certified Maxwell leadership speaker, trainer and coach.
2:06
Cassandra: Empowers executives and founders to lead authentically and confidently, positively impacting their lives and organization.
2:16
Cassandra: She was raised in Seoul, south Korea, and experienced in navigating cultural diversity.
2:21
Cassandra: Navigating cultural diversity she understands the importance of emotional resilience.
2:28
Cassandra: Her journey from battling obesity and depression to becoming a healthy adoptive parent inspired her to develop intentional optimism, a framework for living out values and goals with excellence.
2:41
Cassandra: Andrea's passion lies in equipping female leaders to redefine corporate culture and lead effectively through improved communications and team dynamics.
2:52
Cassandra: She has her podcast, and the name of her podcast is Stand Tall and Own it.
2:57
Cassandra: So female leaders who are ready to make a difference and also who are ready to make an impact by discovering and understanding their values.
3:09
Cassandra: Wow, we have a lot to talk about and I love the topic.
3:12
Cassandra: Just be you.
3:16
Cassandra: Yeah, andrea, I'd like to know and my listeners always like to know what was life like before becoming a transformational leader and coach what was going on in your life back then.
3:29
Andrea: Well, I like your word unsettled.
3:31
Andrea: I like that you said that I actually wrote it down, because I usually talk about being disempowered and that's kind of it's a big word.
3:41
Andrea: A lot of times we don't know what it means, but I was.
3:44
Andrea: I had a 25 year career in university higher education, like university schools of medicine We've discussed.
3:52
Andrea: I started at Johns Hopkins university.
3:54
Andrea: I mean, I actually met my husband in grad school.
3:56
Andrea: I actually worked there as well, but I worked in the oncology center there.
4:01
Andrea: I worked my way up from administrative assistant into research administration.
4:04
Andrea: I helped get clinical trial grants.
4:06
Andrea: I made sure that all the money happened and all of the regulations were followed.
4:11
Andrea: And then I moved to the University of Virginia and did very much the same thing there and ended up a business manager and operations manager in nephrology.
4:19
Andrea: So I, at any given time, managed upwards of 20 people doing clinical trial work, doing grant work, and I just knew that this is not what I wanted to do and I've had, and I'm sure your listeners will relate to this.
4:35
Andrea: I had responsibility without authority.
4:37
Andrea: I felt like I was consistently compromising who I was for the bigger picture.
4:43
Andrea: I felt stifled and unsupported and I'm just going to use your term unsettled, balanced, like we're always looking for this work-life balance and it just never happens.
4:54
Andrea: So I felt all of those things and, quite frankly and a lot of your listeners may be here as well I was bored.
5:01
Andrea: I was made for something bigger, right, and I was bored.
5:06
Andrea: And so these are the women that I and the people that I like to talk to, because these are the women that say, oh yeah, I need something different.
5:14
Andrea: But what I had to do was on my own, I had to figure it out.
5:18
Andrea: I didn't know where to look and I had this wonderful background and you explained I grew up overseas.
5:25
Andrea: Yeah, mine that I'd known since I was 17, introduced me to John Maxwell and the Maxwell team so that I could get my certification in disc consultancy, in behavioral analysis speaker, trainer and coach, and introduced me to all these really purpose leadership tactics and principles.
5:44
Andrea: And I've been on a self-discovery journey and on a personal growth journey since I was 20, because I put myself in the hospital for bulimia and depression when I was 20.
5:53
Andrea: And I said something's got to give.
5:55
Cassandra: Okay.
5:56
Andrea: Yeah, and so I.
5:57
Andrea: You know, we, we grow, sometimes intentionally, and most of the time we're just like going along with and just keeping up with and trying to learn all the skills.
6:05
Andrea: And I finally hit that point when we lost my mother.
6:09
Andrea: I was age, I was 50, and we lost her to breast cancer.
6:12
Andrea: And I said, no, I, something's got to give.
6:14
Andrea: I want to make sure that I live every day well and I'm tired of managing the status quo.
6:20
Andrea: Big institutions are great, they do amazing things, but I needed something different.
6:26
Andrea: And that's when I kind of just pivoted and moved on in a different direction and I've been on my own.
6:32
Andrea: I left the University of Virginia in August of 21.
6:35
Andrea: So I've been on my own ever since.
6:38
Cassandra: Wow.
6:38
Cassandra: So you had a turning point when your mom passed.
6:44
Cassandra: You know, and most of us do and some of us don't.
6:47
Cassandra: When something traumatic happens in our lives, then we're like, Hmm, you know, I want to really start living my life and I'm not, I'm just, I'm just surviving, I'm not thriving, and many of us do that and just don't know what to do.
7:05
Cassandra: So you know and like I tell my listeners that it's so, I guess it's 70 percent of the people die with regrets They've not been able to accomplish what their ordained duty was.
7:19
Cassandra: I call it certainly because that's when you you get a a peace, when you're actually doing something and you're feeling real good about it.
7:27
Cassandra: And so my question to you is so what do you believe qualified you to do the type of work that you're doing?
7:36
Andrea: I am who I am and I decided to.
7:40
Andrea: So here's the deal.
7:41
Andrea: Cassandra, you know this and I bet your listeners do too.
7:44
Andrea: We all develop skills through every job that we have, through every experience that we have, every volunteer position we've ever had, every class we've ever taken, every child we've raised.
7:55
Andrea: We have experience in relationship building and leadership, and all this and we don't realize what we have.
8:03
Andrea: And so, getting certified in leadership, speaking, training and coaching, all that did was remind me that I already have, and being able to look back and say, wow, I have, like you said, multicultural navigation.
8:19
Andrea: I didn't realize that growing up overseas, with in school, with kids from 65 different countries, would allow me the ability to say I need to see all sides of this.
8:30
Andrea: I can't, I can't walk in with only my perspective.
8:33
Andrea: Now, there was plenty of retraining after I got back to the States and was in that type work that told me no, no, no, we do it this way, and so I did have to rediscover that.
8:44
Andrea: So there was some deconditioning and deconstructing that had to happen, but being willing to say I'm qualified because of who I have been created to be, I am qualified because I am, by nature, a relator.
8:58
Andrea: I am, by nature, somebody who creates belonging in other people.
9:02
Andrea: I would show up in my office and shut the door and say I needed to come talk to you because you are a safe place for me.
9:08
Andrea: Yes, and I didn't plan on being a safe place.
9:12
Andrea: It's not something.
9:14
Andrea: You think I'm going to be a safe place today.
9:16
Cassandra: I mean we can do that.
9:17
Andrea: But when someone says that to you out of the blue, it will stop you in your tracks.
9:22
Andrea: If you're paying attention and if we stop and listen to what's going on around us, we will start to hear what other people say and you know about how we act and how we show up, and sometimes we need to change what we do and how we do that.
9:37
Andrea: But many times it will tell us the strengths that we're not paying attention to and where they are and how to find them.
9:43
Andrea: Something as simple as my hair.
9:47
Andrea: I cut my own hair.
9:49
Andrea: I've done it for years.
9:50
Andrea: It's very easy.
9:51
Andrea: I do it better than anybody else because I'm willing to get it wrong and fix it tomorrow, okay.
9:57
Andrea: But I could have what I think is the worst hair day.
9:59
Andrea: And I'm walking across.
10:00
Andrea: This is back when I was still working at the university, three quarters of a mile to my car, walking across grounds.
10:06
Andrea: Random gentleman says I say gentleman, probably young guy, he looks like a basketball player.
10:14
Andrea: He says you have the most beautiful hair.
10:16
Andrea: And I just kind of well, thank you and we don't pay.
10:21
Andrea: Those kinds of things will stop us in our tracks.
10:23
Andrea: But we get tension sometimes when somebody says I came to you because I thought you're a really good creative thinker and I really need or they may not even say it that way.
10:32
Andrea: They might say you seem to come up with good ideas, or I need some help figuring this out.
10:36
Andrea: Well, they're telling you you're a strategic thinker, they're telling you these things, and so being able to look back on that and say I just need to be me, I don't need to be anybody else, that's what qualifies me to do the work I do.
10:50
Cassandra: That's good.
10:51
Cassandra: And something else you know, my mom used to say that you don't see yourself as others do.
10:57
Cassandra: And what happens there?
10:59
Cassandra: When you do get a compliment or someone you know, as you indicate I like your hair, you're a safe person rather than saying, oh, stop, oh, hair is really a mess.
11:11
Cassandra: You know, we kind of degrade, minimize, mitigate what people are saying, you know, rather than like, well, thank you, as you did, and accepted that, and like, wow, that's, that's, that's who I am, that's good.
11:26
Cassandra: I appreciate that.
11:27
Cassandra: And because you do your own hair and because people came to you because you have all these skills, all of that was on purpose.
11:35
Cassandra: And I say that because when it's on purpose and it's something for you to do about it, it's like a nagging, a gnawing, a fire in your belly, so to speak, that this is me.
11:49
Cassandra: I'm really loving that.
11:51
Cassandra: So I really appreciate that.
11:53
Andrea: Now.
11:54
Cassandra: Andrea, was it difficult for you to transition from a comfortable, even though mentally that wasn't, that's not what you wanted to do, but you were in a comfort zone, even though, again, mentally you really weren't.
12:08
Cassandra: But you know your physical body was.
12:10
Cassandra: What was that transition like?
12:12
Cassandra: Because a lot of listeners want to do what you're doing, but they, in this comfort zone, it's like they're on the edge and they just don't want to fall off the cliff.
12:21
Andrea: Sure, and I'm going just to be straight up and tell you I didn't always do.
12:25
Andrea: I didn't do it the exact perfect way.
12:26
Andrea: I started when I recognized that most of my adult life I had been trying to be an entrepreneur, like I was a an Amway person, I was a Mary Kay lady, you know.
12:35
Andrea: But I I've been recognized, and if somebody wants to look at how they could do that on their own, I think it's important to look at whether or not you're a product entrepreneur or a service entrepreneur.
12:45
Andrea: They're very different things.
12:46
Andrea: I also realized I, having done these different and I'm also I do Plexus, you know that kind of stuff but I'm also not just not a product entrepreneur, I'm also not a someone else's business it's very, very clear that I need to do my own thing.
13:01
Andrea: Some people are franchise oriented.
13:03
Andrea: Some people want to be their own boss, but being willing to look back and see, okay, this is something I've been trying to do for a long time.
13:10
Andrea: None of those actually worked.
13:12
Andrea: What is the next thing?
13:13
Andrea: And as soon as I started studying, I was like oh, this is this, is it?
13:17
Andrea: This is what I want to do.
13:18
Andrea: So I decided to create an exit plan, and there are people out there who are coaches that can give you the step-by-step and a lot of the practical things to do with an exit plan.
13:28
Andrea: I started them and then my job got in my brain and, quite frankly, my nervous system got to a place where it was just too much that I needed to transition faster than I wanted to or that I had initially planned, but I had.
13:42
Andrea: I had already done things like gotten rid of debt and paid down.
13:47
Andrea: You know, whatever debt I had, I had literally pared down for the family of three to the cheapest stuff that we could do to reduce the amount of of outlay that I needed or the money that I needed to um, to bring in the revenue that I needed to bring in Um.
14:03
Andrea: But I also have to say I didn't do the single.
14:05
Andrea: I have a husband who's extremely supportive.
14:07
Andrea: He's a church pastor, so it's not like he was like in a corporate job where we could you know, but at the same time there was that baseline.
14:15
Andrea: So I did have that security.
14:17
Andrea: But you talk about leaving a steady paycheck.
14:19
Andrea: Leaving, I mean leaving.
14:21
Andrea: I mean I had been on university insurance and 401, 403 b's and um like dental and davis vision and all of those things.
14:32
Andrea: I've been on those for 25 years.
14:33
Andrea: My husband didn't even know what it meant to find insurance because he'd always been on mine and that's right.
14:39
Andrea: Amazing benefit even.
14:41
Andrea: Uh, what is it when they?
14:43
Andrea: When you do they match your stuff.
14:45
Andrea: You know, matching 401s, okay, they'll match it with your 403B, like whatever you spend, all of those things are.
14:54
Andrea: I had to come to the understanding that they were not the safety net I thought they were.
15:02
Cassandra: Mm-hmm.
15:03
Andrea: I know people who have lost their jobs with these same universities at the drop of a hat and their safety net is gone and they weren't making an exit plan.
15:13
Andrea: So I had to transition my thinking from this is my, this is a safe place to.
15:19
Andrea: I can create my own safety, and it hasn't been overnight.
15:24
Andrea: But we pared down what we could.
15:26
Andrea: We went in the marketplace, we utilized the things that we could my husband's father's retired US Navy Reserve, so we are US AA, so we learned how to find those kind of financial things.
15:36
Andrea: But for me personally, it's taken almost longer to make the shift in my mind than it did to make the shift with the practical things.
15:46
Andrea: Yes, because we have what I call my ABCs, my assumptions, beliefs and conditioning.
15:52
Andrea: You know all that conditioning we had throughout our career it it.
15:56
Andrea: It's very difficult to leave that behind and to say I have something to offer.
16:01
Andrea: Now.
16:01
Andrea: I am a Maxwell speaker trainer coach, so I can offer Maxwell things, but I also have my own courses and my own coaching that I have something to offer Now.
16:04
Andrea: I am a Maxwell speaker trainer coach, so I can offer Maxwell things, but I also have my own courses and my own coaching that I have developed.
16:09
Andrea: That marries well with that.
16:11
Andrea: What's interesting is that the closer I get to being myself, the more my products sell.
16:16
Andrea: Wow, yeah, you know, it's just.
16:19
Andrea: And I looked at my husband the other day.
16:21
Andrea: I said I saw another one of these things, what's going on here?
16:25
Andrea: What's going on here?
16:26
Andrea: You know because I can see that what I have to offer people when you find the right people to talk to, and that's it just takes a while.
16:33
Andrea: Just know what your tolerances are.
16:35
Andrea: If you cannot tolerate risk, then you know what kind of savings you need to build up.
16:40
Andrea: You know what kind of insurance you need to purchase.
16:44
Andrea: You know what you need to have in place.
16:45
Andrea: But if you can tolerate risk and you're willing to go out there and risk what it takes to do, go for it and find a community of other women who are doing the same thing.
16:55
Andrea: There's so many out there.
16:57
Cassandra: Exactly, you sound like this saying is when the student's ready, the teacher will appear.
17:03
Cassandra: This saying is when the student's ready, the teacher will appear.
17:07
Cassandra: Absolutely, things just come to you when you're there and it's like you indicated, it's all in the mind.
17:11
Cassandra: You know the openness and that's why I want to transition to these core values.
17:17
Cassandra: Okay, because core values are very, they're significant to leadership and I'd like for you to share with my listeners, because a lot of people they'll say values, core, but a lot of people aren't sure what that is.
17:32
Cassandra: So I want you to explain I know I find that out so much.
17:36
Cassandra: Well, my value is I'm like that's really not a value.
17:40
Cassandra: So, explain to people what is a core value and why do you believe that?
17:46
Cassandra: Well, actually, once you do, how do you understand it and uncover it?
17:53
Andrea: Sure, so I think defining and giving a differentiation between what the terms that we're using actually mean is important here, because it's a conversation that's out there.
18:04
Andrea: A lot of people are talking about values.
18:06
Andrea: They're talking about core values of businesses.
18:08
Andrea: I shouldn't have used air quotes.
18:10
Andrea: Those are real, right, those are very real.
18:12
Andrea: And I'm talking about the values the core values of my own internal wiring or your internal wiring.
18:20
Andrea: It's how you were created.
18:21
Andrea: It's your non-negotiables and the definition I like to use is closer to something Brene Brown does.
18:27
Andrea: It's the principles and priorities that guide your actions and they represent the foundational convictions that allow you to navigate these complex situations, all the wind and the waves, all while keeping your identity and your authority at the forefront.
18:46
Andrea: Now, when I understand what those things are in my life, then I can look around and say where can I plug in, to where those core values that are me as a person are not going to be dishonored.
19:01
Andrea: People talk about aligning with certain values Both the universities I worked for fabulous work that they do, but my top core value is autonomy of thought.
19:14
Andrea: I'm an out-of-the-box thinker.
19:15
Andrea: Don't tell me what to think.
19:17
Andrea: I'm a natural deconstructionist.
19:19
Andrea: I'm a natural critical thinker and I'm always looking for a better way, right.
19:25
Andrea: So when I would hire someone and say this is a launch pad for you as an administrative assistant, not a landing pad.
19:32
Andrea: And in two years, when they grow and they move on and the chief of the division says, why did they leave?
19:37
Andrea: We need people who are going to stay here forever, I'm like I don't do the status quo, you know.
19:43
Andrea: So that's how my personal core values started to become.
19:47
Andrea: That's an example of how your personal core values can be either dishonored or not aligned with organizational values, and I like to say that organizational values are really more of a mission and vision.
19:58
Andrea: Yeah Right, and you can have personal mission and vision, but those things are all outside of you.
20:04
Andrea: Yeah, things are inside of you.
20:06
Andrea: And so I like to tell people that they are things that you cannot see, but they have very visible results.
20:14
Andrea: Right, when somebody tries to tell me what to think, it becomes very in.
20:19
Andrea: I mean, it's very clear that I have a problem with that, and my husband learned it by saying things like wouldn't you agree that?
20:27
Andrea: You know?
20:28
Andrea: I don't know how to answer that.
20:31
Andrea: And finally, when we figured out what it was, he now says what do you think about this?
20:36
Andrea: Exactly, totally different.
20:38
Andrea: Now, that way we can move forward.
20:41
Andrea: But the core values are things that are.
20:44
Andrea: They bring you joy.
20:45
Andrea: They are things every gosh, they're the things that make you angry every day.
20:50
Andrea: They are the things that if one of them like, if it's, especially if it's a top one for you, if you, if I, have a client who's their top core value is respect, which sounds like a real cliched one, but it really isn't, and so when you disrespect, you're done right.
21:09
Andrea: Oh, get a thumbs up for that one.
21:11
Andrea: There's also one who's got reliability is her top, and so it's very much.
21:19
Andrea: I am reliable and I need you to be reliable.
21:21
Andrea: That's another thing about them is they're what I would call reciprocal reliable and I need you to be reliable.
21:26
Andrea: But that's another thing about them is they're what I would call reciprocal.
21:29
Andrea: It can't just be one direction.
21:30
Andrea: If I just want you to respect me, that's nothing but narcissism.
21:32
Andrea: But if I want to respect you and I want you to respect me, that's a core value.
21:36
Andrea: So there's different ways we can, things that we can look at that will help us determine what they are.
21:40
Andrea: But the fastest way I tell people to figure out where your core values kind of might lie is look back in the last I don't know week or month.
21:51
Andrea: It could be today.
21:52
Andrea: Yeah, the things that just angered you, like you were afraid that you were going to get in trouble, right, because you got that angry.
22:00
Andrea: If there's something like that, I promise you underneath somewhere is a core value that's being dishonored.
22:06
Cassandra: Exactly.
22:07
Andrea: You know, I mean my husband and my son, both of them.
22:09
Andrea: Honesty is huge.
22:10
Andrea: For them it's like do not lie.
22:13
Cassandra: Do not lie to me, that's right, right, right, like like, loyalty is another one too.
22:18
Cassandra: It's just, it's just so many boundaries, work, life balance, you-life balance, things of that nature Right, yeah, but you indicated that it's critical for leadership, and when I hear you talk the word expectations come up.
22:39
Cassandra: A lot of people are like they want this because you should do this, because their expectation that's what they want to do.
22:50
Cassandra: So, you know, for people to kind of understand, you know, it's kind of like this there are two people that can have the same things, but yet they're unhappy, and they're unhappy because they both have different expectations.
23:05
Cassandra: Sure, yeah.
23:07
Andrea: And a lot of people don't get that.
23:08
Andrea: Yeah, and especially if the expectations are not laid out clearly, exactly, that's a bigger problem.
23:16
Cassandra: Exactly, you're exactly right.
23:17
Cassandra: Um I want to talk about.
23:20
Cassandra: You said that you believe emotional resilience is earned.
23:24
Cassandra: Why is that?
23:27
Cassandra: Because I mean resilience is so important.
23:31
Cassandra: I mean you got to be resilient on a lot of things and some people just give up, but why do you say that has to be earned?
23:40
Andrea: Well, just like you don't get up today and run a marathon unless you're the dude who did it first, you can't just become resilient unless you're just inherently a resilient person.
23:52
Andrea: Some people have that gift.
23:54
Andrea: Most of us don't.
23:56
Andrea: Most of us give up when it's hard.
23:59
Andrea: Most of us say, well, I'm going to go a different direction and that may be a way to develop resilience.
24:04
Andrea: But it's like developing muscles, cassandra.
24:07
Andrea: It's really about saying how long does it take me to get up from this one?
24:11
Andrea: How can I and I want to make it very clear, this is not putting rose colored glasses on Building resilience is the ability to take a look at a really hard circumstance, figure out what you need to do about it, how you need to get up and move, live through it, how you're going to survive it and then how to go about becoming better and moving on from it.
24:37
Andrea: And I'll use my mother's illness as an example.
24:40
Andrea: She had breast cancer and she had lupus before that, so my her grandchildren didn't really know her before she was sick and so but for her and so so for her, she was consistently learning.
24:55
Andrea: How do I overcome this so that I can be the kind of grandmother that Nana or Nina that she wanted to be, whereas for me I didn't have to go through those physical things, but going through the grief of losing her was not only a crucible and cathartic, but it was also a training ground for anything else that I'm going to experience in the future.
25:17
Andrea: Now I have a place to measure.
25:19
Andrea: Okay, I went through that, how does this compare?
25:23
Andrea: Okay, I went through that, how does this compare, right.
25:29
Andrea: And so when you start, it's a little bit like laying the foundation, when you start dealing with things from a perspective of that was really hard and I learned from it and I'm going to move forward.
25:36
Andrea: Then you can say, all right, how does that measure up?
25:39
Andrea: Oh, this is way harder.
25:40
Andrea: All right, well, I guess I'm going to learn some new stuff from this.
25:43
Andrea: Doesn't mean we don't shake our fist at the sky, we don't pound on the floor and scream and cry oh, I didn't mean to rhyme.
25:49
Andrea: It doesn't mean we don't do those things and we don't experience the feelings that are there.
25:55
Andrea: It means that we do it with, we go into it with purpose and it might take us a little while, but in order to build the muscle, you have to do it.
26:04
Andrea: I'm starting more yoga and like strength yoga and that chair against the wall is a killer for my quads and I have to build that up.
26:12
Andrea: So every time they say we do the chair, I'm like, oh, do we have to do it Right?
26:17
Andrea: Because I know that eventually it's going to help me be stronger.
26:20
Cassandra: Right, exactly Exactly, wow.
26:22
Cassandra: Stronger Right, exactly Exactly, wow.
26:24
Cassandra: Resiliency and I loved it when you said I liked the part when you said it has to be earned, because if we look back over our lives, a lot of things that we were resilient with and we have to remind ourselves that I got through that.
26:40
Cassandra: You know, and and and you know.
26:41
Cassandra: And it always disturbed me when people say, oh, you'll be okay, you know, it's going to be all right, you're not the only one that went through that.
26:49
Cassandra: I'm like, oh my gosh, that doesn't help at all.
26:52
Cassandra: No, they mean well.
26:54
Andrea: Yeah and that's another side to resiliency is that we then get to mentor it and share it with other people and help them along.
27:01
Andrea: I have a friend who's really, really good.
27:04
Andrea: She unfortunately she lost both her parents when she was in her twenties and she was the one who helped walk me through what it would be like to lose my mother, and I realized at 50, how, what, what I consider to be a terrible friend.
27:18
Andrea: I had been to her when she lost her parents, Even though I thought I could do that, even though I thought I could give her what she needed.
27:25
Andrea: I couldn't, but she had something to offer because she had been through it and being willing to see how we can move outside of ourselves.
27:33
Andrea: That helps you grow even more, and even less.
27:37
Cassandra: Yes, that's right and that's what I think enables you to tap into your circle of influence, the individuals, the individuals that you surround yourself with is good.
27:46
Cassandra: Relationships are critical, you know, so I like that.
27:51
Cassandra: You know who to tap into.
27:52
Cassandra: I call them my board of directors.
27:54
Cassandra: You know there's somebody that keeps me real, somebody that talks about my finances, a spiritual board.
28:00
Cassandra: You know there's things like that that I can go to and know who to go to.
28:03
Cassandra: You know when there's like that that I can go to and know who to go to.
28:05
Andrea: you know when there's certain things that occur in my life, yeah, yeah, and I for the longest time I'm a pastor, like a small church pastor's wife, and for pastor's wives it can be difficult to have friends in that community just because the things you know and the things you don't, and because you're you're in kind of this leadership position, whether you want to be or not, and you know, it's kind of where a little bit of the unconventional leadership stuff came out for me.
28:30
Andrea: But I ended up with serendipitously or God ordained, however you want to talk about it I ended up with these friends who were all outside the church, from different spiritual backgrounds, saw me for who I was and appreciated me and loved me and cheered me on through all of it, and I was kind of God, why won't you give me these specific type of friends?
28:55
Andrea: He says look around you, woman, I have given you beautiful friends.
29:00
Andrea: And when I was willing to see that and appreciate it for what it was, everything in me changed and my friendships blossomed and now I can see them as I love that board of directors.
29:12
Andrea: It's like, yes, there's one I go to for specific things, there's another one I go to for this, that and the other, but they all have a function in my life and I think, as women, a lot of times, especially in the corporate world, we are, we feel like or we perceive that there's only one leadership spot or there's only one place to go for women.
29:32
Andrea: And I just I want to say it is not true.
29:34
Andrea: We can link arms and make sure every time I work with somebody I'm like who mentors you?
29:40
Andrea: Because I'm a coach, I don't mentor you.
29:42
Andrea: I have women that I mentor that are totally outside of that.
29:46
Andrea: But who is your mentor?
29:47
Andrea: Who is your advocate?
29:49
Andrea: And when you have those things in your life, that's all going to help you develop into the kind of leader you need to be.
29:56
Andrea: And that's going back to the core values piece.
29:59
Andrea: When you understand those, then you can lead with authority.
30:02
Andrea: When you understand, you can lead with conviction and passion.
30:04
Andrea: When you understand those, then you can lead with authority.
30:04
Andrea: When you understand, you can lead with conviction and passion.
30:05
Andrea: Yeah, you understand who you are.
30:07
Andrea: You can lead with confidence, which means that you don't have to fight with other people for the position.
30:12
Andrea: You don't have to defend your boundaries, because they're very clear, because you are confident in who you are.
30:18
Andrea: That makes you authentic and magnetic, which means that more people will be drawn to you.
30:23
Andrea: It's counterintuitive the more we give and the more we are willing to know ourselves and give of ourselves, the more we get.
30:32
Andrea: But that's just the way it works, that's right.
30:35
Cassandra: Exactly right, exactly right.
30:37
Cassandra: What is your?
30:39
Cassandra: What's the difference to you between a coach versus a mentor?
30:43
Cassandra: What's the difference to you?
30:45
Andrea: between a coach versus a mentor.
30:46
Andrea: A mentor is someone who is probably going to be there with you through thick and thin longer term.
30:52
Andrea: It might be that they're a mentor for a specific thing.
30:55
Andrea: Mentors tend to be more teaching oriented.
30:59
Andrea: They tend to be someone who's walked the path already, and so maybe a mentor would also be a role model, and that is very natural.
31:07
Andrea: For me, I do that in my natural life.
31:08
Andrea: Coaching is much more targeted, it's less teaching, and I do a little bit of hybrid coaching, where I do some teaching because I'm leadership trained and so we're looking at those principles.
31:21
Andrea: But in general, a coach is somebody who helps you get from point A to point B faster than you could have done that on your own.
31:28
Andrea: Okay, that's the Olympics coming up this summer, and when you watch these sprinters, I love to watch.
31:34
Andrea: I love to watch the women get out there and just run right.
31:36
Andrea: I mean, just like, how fast can they go?
31:38
Andrea: It's amazing to me, but they didn't get there without a coach.
31:41
Andrea: They might have natural talent, but they might have been doing one thing wrong or they might not have been training the way they needed to.
31:48
Andrea: Their coach's job is to help them get from the starting line to the finish line faster than they can get there on their own.
31:55
Andrea: So I think being willing to see that.
31:57
Andrea: And then the third one I mentioned was an advocate.
31:59
Andrea: Yes, an advocate is not a mentor and is not a coach.
32:03
Andrea: An advocate is somebody who is in another room when you're not there saying you know, you really should check out Cassandra.
32:09
Cassandra: Yes.
32:09
Andrea: She.
32:09
Andrea: You know, if there's somebody for this project, I think she would do a better job for it than me.
32:14
Andrea: Or if you're looking for somebody to do X, Y and Z for you, this is the person you want, that's your advocate who's willing to, and they may be ahead of you, they may be right there with you, but whoever's?
32:29
Cassandra: talking about you in the room when you're not there, exactly, exactly, exactly, cause it's certain terms like sponsor, advocate, mentor, coach and people just kind of misconstrue, not clear.
32:39
Cassandra: So I wanted you to talk about that so that my listeners can be clear on differentiate between those two.
32:46
Cassandra: But we went to three.
32:51
Cassandra: So the individuals that you coach, what triggers them to come to you?
32:57
Cassandra: It has to be a trigger One of two things, yeah, one of two things.
33:02
Andrea: Number one they, if they're coming to me for executive leadership coaching, many times they've been promoted into a position and they don't have the training or they are just really excited about being a leader.
33:15
Andrea: So when I do executive leadership coaching, that's usually what it is.
33:19
Andrea: It's somebody that's fairly new or has just been in this position and realizes all right, my talent got me here, but it's not going to take me to the next step, right?
33:27
Andrea: That's the executive leadership coaching that I do.
33:30
Andrea: My core values coaching that I do specifically is for women who are um, like I shared earlier, like unsettled.
33:40
Andrea: You know it's they're trying to figure it out, because the three main businesses that are three main aspects to my business are understanding yourself, which is core values, communicating it, which is disc behavioral, and then intentional optimism, which is how we live it all out.
33:54
Andrea: So I like to start with people, if I can, in the core values area, because they're the ones who are saying I don't have authority, I have responsibility without authority.
34:05
Andrea: And when I mentioned one of my most recent clients said as soon as you said authority, I'm in, and so that's kind of the triggers, when they look around and say something's missing and I need to know where to start and the best place to start, whether you're a solopreneur or a manager, or wanting to grow in the corporate structure, or if you've got a business that's been around for a while and you're ready to do something new with it, or just to grow yourself.
34:33
Andrea: That's who that's.
34:34
Andrea: The trigger for them is oh, I'm unsettled.
34:37
Andrea: I need to know what my authority is and how to lead from conviction.
34:41
Andrea: That's a trigger.
34:42
Cassandra: Right and able to use their voice is and how to lead from conviction.
34:45
Cassandra: That's a trigger.
34:45
Cassandra: Right and able to use their voice.
34:47
Cassandra: Oh yes, Women have issues.
34:51
Cassandra: I wouldn't say issues, but those are some challenges that.
34:52
Andrea: I'm aware that we have, and we might know that we want to, but we don't know how to do it, and a lot of times we apologize for being strong or putting our boundaries out there or putting our stuff out there, and that's because we don't have that confidence yet and we don't have that authority yet.
35:07
Andrea: So if you find yourself apologizing, that's another trigger, right?
35:14
Andrea: See, I learn every time you find yourself apologizing for being a good leader or taking control of a project, or for expressing an opinion, or for saying this is a boundary for me, we should talk.
35:23
Andrea: I got some good training for you.
35:26
Cassandra: Right, that's good and it's interesting, because a lot of that can come from your childhood and I always liked it, you know, because you know growing up as little girls, you know you should listen, Don't speak up.
35:39
Cassandra: You know so a lot of that we have to retrain ourselves, or well, another word I would say is not empower yourself, but I can't think of the word that I want to use, but anyway it may come back to me.
35:58
Cassandra: Personal growth.
36:01
Cassandra: That's what I wanted to say.
36:02
Cassandra: It's all about personal growth, that we have to continue to grow.
36:06
Cassandra: If we're not growing, I always say we're dying.
36:08
Cassandra: So, while we're here, when did the now?
36:14
Cassandra: This is the name of your company Intentional Optimism, Is that correct?
36:20
Cassandra: Yeah, when did that come?
36:22
Andrea: from.
36:22
Andrea: Well, I mentioned a little while ago that my mother died when I was 50, and I went into a bit of a crucible of sorts.
36:28
Andrea: My mother was like a bottle of champagne, cassandra.
36:32
Andrea: She was one of those women that would walk in the room and everybody would go, judy, and she had that effervescent personality.
36:39
Andrea: She could talk to anybody about anything, she was smart, but she didn't accomplish all I think that she wanted to accomplish, and partly because of the conditioning that we've had.
36:49
Andrea: I come from an evangelical background in the South, right, so there's certain things you said girls are, you know, and famously, my mother even said to me not everybody wants to hear your opinions, andrea.
36:58
Andrea: When I was young and now people pay me for my opinion.
37:01
Andrea: So watching her, watching her go through that and to die well and with dignity, and fighting to the end and making sure that all the strings that could possibly be tied up were tied up, I went inside myself and I said all right, I can't do this any longer.
37:20
Andrea: I need to make sure that I am living each day to the fullest and I want to be able to say what do I want?
37:26
Andrea: How do I want to live this out?
37:28
Andrea: So it started as just a, as just my own personal reflection, and I realized I had this big, long spreadsheet of things that I put together and I realized they fell into these categories.
37:41
Andrea: And when I started putting them in there and realizing I could put these and this is kind of the work I do with people with core values, work is I put them in categories and I realized, oh my goodness, these are tenants that I want to live out, their attitudes, their mindsets, and so I came up with six tenants of intentional optimism, and would you like to hear them?
38:02
Andrea: I would love to hear them and I do have I you.
38:06
Andrea: You can find you know what is intentional optimism.
38:08
Andrea: There's a downloadable free sheet, because it's a lot, but the main pieces are six tenets.
38:14
Andrea: They're bookended by optimistic and intentional, just so you know where we're starting and ending.
38:18
Andrea: All right.
38:19
Andrea: But being optimistic is more than just a sunny disposition.
38:22
Andrea: It's having hope, it's knowing that I am confident, that I have what I need to make this first decision.
38:30
Andrea: I have the information that's there.
38:31
Andrea: A lot of times we don't realize it, but it also means taking that information and doing something.
38:36
Andrea: I can be proactive, and if I don't have any optimistic view, then I am not likely to be proactive.
38:44
Andrea: The second one is being present, and we hear a lot of talk about that one too, and it's more than just being in the moment.
38:50
Andrea: It has to do with having some wonder.
38:53
Andrea: One of the things that my husband said to me when we were dating is he says you have this sense of wonder.
38:58
Andrea: I'm like, well, yeah, I mean, everything out there is amazing to me.
39:02
Andrea: And then I realized that's something that I still want to cultivate, so I call it grownup wonder.
39:06
Andrea: I know why the stars twinkle, right, I know why the crocus comes up.
39:11
Andrea: But because of that my wonder is deeper and more wide and more intense.
39:16
Andrea: But it also embodies being generous.
39:19
Andrea: You know I mentioned I've adopted son.
39:21
Andrea: He's 15 and I'm 57.
39:24
Andrea: So it's not like I have.
39:26
Andrea: I think I have patience with years.
39:28
Andrea: But it means being open to interruptions, being generous with my time and if you want to be a mentor you're going to have to do that and offer that to people and being kind and open.
39:38
Andrea: All of those things make us more present in the moment.
39:42
Andrea: The third is energetic, and this is all about industrious attitude, figuring out new ways to do things.
39:49
Andrea: What is my next step?
39:50
Andrea: For those ladies who are interested in leaving their corporate life for their own entrepreneur life, this one's going to resonate with you because it means you're probably coming up with ideas all the time.
40:01
Andrea: You're looking for how to do something better.
40:03
Andrea: But it also includes joy and excitement, and this is a piece I got from my mom.
40:08
Andrea: She could just I mean she had that twinkle in her eye almost all the time and you just knew something was going on in there and you could feel it and she would just get like this.
40:18
Andrea: And when she was around her grandkids she did it the most.
40:20
Andrea: But it's when you start feeling that joy and excitement over what you're doing and in your present moment, you share that with people and it means that they feel it too, and that way we can focus on life rather than not life right.
40:34
Andrea: I mean things that bring life and focusing in that area Right.
40:38
Andrea: The fourth one is courageous.
40:40
Andrea: This is leadership, this is adventure, being willing to be the first one out there.
40:44
Andrea: And this is where that resiliency comes in.
40:48
Andrea: If you're the lead goose in that formation, you get all the headwind, but you know what they do.
40:54
Andrea: They rotate in and out so that it's not always the same lead goose, and that way they rest and they build it up.
41:01
Andrea: So it's building that resilience and having the courage.
41:04
Andrea: Women won't apply for a job if they think that they're not 100% qualified.
41:10
Andrea: It's having the courage to apply for a job when you're 65% like a man, 65% qualified.
41:17
Andrea: And when they ask you in an interview, do you know Excel, I say yes, I know Excel.
41:22
Andrea: How do I do Excel?
41:23
Andrea: I know Excel right, it's not.
41:27
Andrea: I can learn anything.
41:29
Andrea: So it's that adventure and being willing to lead and sometimes just being willing to do the hard thing right.
41:37
Andrea: The fourth one is one that was probably the most difficult for me to own up to.
41:41
Andrea: But when I said somebody came to my office and said you're a safe place, that told me I have some wisdom that they're looking for.
41:48
Andrea: And being wise is a gift that we can give to people, I thought it meant I thought only like octogenarians with purple curly hair were wise.
41:59
Andrea: Right, I thought that's how it worked, you know, and that's not.
42:02
Andrea: We all have wisdom that we've gained through our experience and we can use wisdom in how we talk to people and how we listen, how we respect people, and when we exhibit that it means that people are much more comfortable in our presence, right?
42:20
Andrea: And then being intentional is the sixth one.
42:22
Andrea: It's all about purpose.
42:24
Andrea: You talk about purpose.
42:25
Andrea: It's all about having a plan.
42:27
Andrea: It's all about growth.
42:28
Andrea: You mentioned personal growth.
42:28
Andrea: It's all about having a plan.
42:29
Andrea: It's all about growth.
42:29
Andrea: You mentioned personal growth and I don't have a.
42:31
Andrea: You know you plan to, you fail to plan.
42:34
Andrea: You plan to fail right.
42:37
Andrea: And John Maxwell talks about the very first thing we have to do in personal growth is be intentional.
42:41
Andrea: When we graduate from school, we've left this structure and this scaffolding, but we don't put something in place for us.
42:49
Andrea: If we don't make our own plan, then the likelihood of our growing is very small.
42:54
Andrea: So these are you can see their attitudes and mindsets of saying I want to be more glass half full than half empty.
43:02
Andrea: I want to be kind and open and present.
43:05
Andrea: I want to be life focused.
43:07
Andrea: And I mean because when I think about being life focused, it cuts down on my gossip, it cuts down on my complaint.
43:13
Andrea: Yeah, it makes me look for the best in people.
43:17
Andrea: All of these things are very helpful in living out what my core values are.
43:21
Cassandra: Yeah, my goals, wow, and wasting time is another one that we do.
43:26
Cassandra: I mean, yes, yeah, life is short, yeah.
43:31
Andrea: When you say, you say you know, because I said this is how I want to live, and so for the first couple of years of my business, this was really all I talked about, until I realized that's starting on the outside and I needed to go deeper.
43:41
Andrea: So that's why I am now basically like we start with core values and we end with intentional optimism yeah right and and you're just coasting then and that's why I say is your way in your way?
43:53
Cassandra: and you work things so to kind of get out of your way.
43:57
Cassandra: And that's why I said to become your true self again, because that's really the.
44:01
Cassandra: All the stuff that's in your way is not always your true self.
44:04
Cassandra: The comparing I can't do this.
44:07
Cassandra: I'm not going to apply for that job.
44:08
Cassandra: I don't have the courage, I don't have the confidence.
44:12
Cassandra: You know all of those things because everything we need is inside of us.
44:17
Cassandra: Everything we need, you know amazing, it's very amazing.
44:21
Cassandra: If people are looking for it out there, it's not out there, it's right in here and it's a beautiful thing.
44:27
Cassandra: It's a beautiful thing.
44:28
Andrea: I always like to say success is an inside job.
44:30
Andrea: Yes, leadership and growth is an inside job.
44:33
Andrea: Transformation is always an inside job.
44:36
Andrea: That's right.
44:37
Cassandra: That's right.
44:37
Cassandra: I used to work for Marriott and Mr Marriott used to say what did he say?
44:44
Cassandra: Hire friendly, teach technical.
44:46
Cassandra: Yes, yeah, teach technical, yes, yeah.
44:48
Cassandra: I mean he always said that we can learn the technical stuff.
44:52
Cassandra: But that innate talent, that gift, that friendliness is in there.
44:56
Cassandra: It's an innate talent.
44:57
Cassandra: So I used to love when he would say that and I would think about it as I was hiring people send the technical and hire the friendly people.
45:19
Cassandra: I'm like, okay, wow, this is good, Andrea.
45:20
Cassandra: I would love for you to.
45:21
Cassandra: I have listeners who are desiring to change their trajectory in life.
45:23
Cassandra: They want to write a book, they want to start a business, they want to be promoted, they want to forgive someone.
45:30
Cassandra: They have unforgiveness in their heart Just a whole gamut of things.
45:38
Cassandra: Also want to retire early because they want to do something different.
45:43
Cassandra: They want to do what wisdom?
45:46
Cassandra: Are some things that you could share with them that will open up the windows of their full potential, Because a lot of them are not living in their full potential.
46:00
Andrea: Well, none of us truly are.
46:01
Andrea: I think those of us who are heading towards potential are the ones that are going to get there, but I don't know that we ever will.
46:07
Andrea: You know, every once you say open up the windows, I'm afraid that sometimes I just throw a rock through a window, if that's what it takes but and come crashing in.
46:16
Andrea: But you know there's a lot of adages, you know there's a lot of today.
46:22
Andrea: Yesterday was the best time to start, today's the second best time to start.
46:25
Andrea: You won't, you know, fail the plan, plan to fail.
46:28
Andrea: There's things like that.
46:29
Andrea: But I think the most important thing for people to understand is that, just like you said, we have what we need.
46:35
Andrea: You would be surprised at the value that you do not recognize in yourself, and that's one of the things that I have learned over the last five or six years as I've run this business and tried to coach other people.
46:48
Andrea: I don't have anything to give if I think I don't have anything to give, and so, therefore, when I'm looking at myself or anybody else who's ready to take to make a pivot, the biggest piece to understand is the value that is in you, and you have to be willing to invest in you.
47:05
Andrea: If it means understanding who you are through understanding your core values or understanding how you communicate through disc or Enneagram or any of those others, it is worth it.
47:15
Andrea: And it is imperative that you do that, because living with someone else's principles and guidelines will never make you feel fulfilled, and that's you will, you will.
47:29
Andrea: You will fail to impact your surroundings the way you should.
47:33
Andrea: If you are acting with the assumptions and beliefs that you've accepted because you just hadn't developed a clear understanding of who you are uniquely are and how you uniquely communicate and how you uniquely were created to show up in this world.
47:49
Andrea: You've got things to do, woman.
47:50
Andrea: That's world.
47:50
Andrea: You've got things to do, woman.
47:51
Andrea: That's right.
47:52
Andrea: You've got things to do, and it is a scary thing to throw open the windows all of a sudden and let the fresh air in.
47:59
Andrea: But what a beautiful thing.
48:02
Andrea: And if we're not here to support you, shame on us.
48:05
Andrea: That's our job and you'll be surprised.
48:08
Andrea: The other piece is you'll be surprised how many people around you will find what you're doing inspirational.
48:14
Andrea: Every time they will be inspired by you.
48:17
Cassandra: Yeah, well said, well said.
48:19
Cassandra: How can my listeners get in touch with you?
48:23
Cassandra: I know that's your.
48:25
Cassandra: Is your website the Intentional, optimist?
48:26
Cassandra: Is your website the Intentional?
48:29
Andrea: Optimist, you bet Theintentionaloptimistcom and right in there you can find a way to get on my newsletter.
48:39
Andrea: I don't send that out very often, so I won't bother you or Stand Tall and Own it my podcast.
48:44
Andrea: If you find me on LinkedIn or Instagram and you want to DM me, I will DM you right back.
48:49
Andrea: I respond on those two platforms.
48:51
Andrea: I also will respond to any emails that come through Andrea at theintentionaloptimistcom.
48:57
Andrea: You can see it's.
48:58
Andrea: I worked hard to find a unique name because, andrea Johnson, there's a lot of us out there, so I worked hard to find something unique.
49:06
Andrea: You should be able to find me.
49:07
Andrea: If not, contact Cassandra, she knows how to get me.
49:11
Cassandra: Exactly exactly, and that's why I couldn't find you, because you don't go.
49:16
Cassandra: You have your name but you don't go by that.
49:19
Cassandra: You go by the intention, the intentional optimist, and I would never think to look at that when I was trying to, when I was researching and looking for you, I'm like where's Andrea Johnson?
49:36
Cassandra: Well, I try to tie them in, but there's just so many that it's just easier to do that with the intentional optimist.
49:40
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, well, we're going to wrap this podcast up.
49:41
Cassandra: I love Just Be you.
49:43
Cassandra: You have provided so much wisdom and insight and I always tell my listeners if there is something that resonated with you or you have a friend that you know that this would be a blessing, to please share it.
49:57
Cassandra: It's going to be on all podcast platforms.
50:01
Cassandra: It's also going to be on my social media sites as well, and I just want to thank Andrea.
50:07
Cassandra: This was just a pleasure.
50:09
Cassandra: I've learned, and if I've learned listeners, I know you've learned.
50:12
Cassandra: So, back at you, just be you is critical.
50:17
Cassandra: Okay, and again I want to thank Andrea.
50:20
Cassandra: And Andrea, I don't for my guests I never say bye.
50:24
Cassandra: I just say bye for now, for now, for now, and God bless you.
50:29
Cassandra: Now, for now, for now, and god bless you.
50:36
Cassandra: And you also know that my podcast is on every wednesday at 1 pm eastern standard time.
50:41
Cassandra: Thank you so much and again, bye for now.