Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / On Finding Your Lifelong Companion │ Msg 2022

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On Finding Your Lifelong Companion │ Msg 2022 · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: If you have a Bible with you today, turn please
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Speaker 1: to the 23rd chapter of the book of Genesis. We're
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Speaker 1: staying with our study of Abraham, and we have come
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Speaker 1: to a very interesting impasse in the story, which takes
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Speaker 1: us on into chapter 24 that has 67 verses. So
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Speaker 1: When you stand up, be ready to remain standing for
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Speaker 1: a long time as we... No, I wouldn't do that
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Speaker 1: to you. We'll do a little cut to the chase
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Speaker 1: there when we get to chapter 24. How grateful we
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Speaker 1: are for God's holy word. It is this book that
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Speaker 1: has survived all these centuries, and it represents God's inerrant...
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Speaker 1: That means without error, God's inerrant message to all people
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Speaker 1: in all times. It is timeless, it is ageless, it
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Speaker 1: is ever relevant. I don't make it relevant. It's my
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Speaker 1: task to help you see how relevant it is. It
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Speaker 1: is the only piece of literature today that has been
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Speaker 1: breathed out by God. We read in Paul's letter to Timothy,
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Speaker 1: all scripture is God-breathed. Theopneustos, theos God, neustos, air or breath.
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Speaker 1: All scripture is God-breathed and is profitable. for doctrine, that's teaching,
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Speaker 1: for reproof, for correction, and for our walk in righteousness,
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Speaker 1: and we are the wiser for spending time in it.
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Speaker 1: No other book like it, inspired of God. Out of
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Speaker 1: respect for God's word, stand with me please as we
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Speaker 1: read from it. beginning at the first verse of chapter 23. Now,
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Speaker 1: Sarah lived 127 years. These were the years of the
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Speaker 1: life of Sarah. Sarah died in Kiriath Arba, that is Hebron,
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Speaker 1: in the land of Canaan. And Abraham went in to
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Speaker 1: mourn for Sarah and to weep. for her. Verse 19.
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Speaker 1: After this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave
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Speaker 1: of the field at Machpelah facing Mamre that is in
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Speaker 1: Hebron in the land of Canaan. So the field and
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Speaker 1: the cave that is in it were deeded over to
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Speaker 1: Abraham for a burial site by the sons of Heth.
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Speaker 1: Now Abraham was old, advanced in age, and the Lord
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Speaker 1: had blessed Abraham in every way. Abraham said to his servant,
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Speaker 1: the oldest of his household who had charge of all
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Speaker 1: that he owned, please place your hand under my thigh
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Speaker 1: I will make you swear by the Lord, the God
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Speaker 1: of heaven and the God of earth, that you shall
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Speaker 1: not take a wife for my son from the daughters
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Speaker 1: of the Canaanites among whom I live, but you shall
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Speaker 1: go to my country and to my relatives and take
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Speaker 1: a wife for my son Isaac. Verse 61. of this
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Speaker 1: same chapter. Then Rebekah arose with her maids and they
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Speaker 1: mounted the camels and followed the man. So the servant
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Speaker 1: took Rebekah and departed. Now Isaac had come from going
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Speaker 1: to Be'er Lehiroi where he was living in the Negev.
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Speaker 1: Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening.
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Speaker 1: And he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold,
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Speaker 1: camels were coming. Rebecca lifted up her eyes, and when
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Speaker 1: she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel. She said
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Speaker 1: to the servant, who is that man walking in the
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Speaker 1: field to meet us? And the servant said, he is
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Speaker 1: my master. Then she took her veil and covered herself.
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Speaker 1: The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done.
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Speaker 1: Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent and
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Speaker 1: he took Rebecca and she became his wife and he
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Speaker 1: loved her. Thus Isaac was comforted after his mother's Across
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Speaker 1: the page, one verse in chapter 25, verse 20. Isaac
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Speaker 1: was 40 years old when he took Rebekah, the daughter
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Speaker 1: of Bethuel, the Aramean of Paddan Aram, the sister of Laban,
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Speaker 1: the Aramean, to be his wife. Interesting story. Please be seated.
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Speaker 1: Greg and I spoke earlier about evangelism, about making Christ
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Speaker 1: known to others, about being first a friend, and then
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Speaker 1: ultimately a person that another can trust, and ideally watching
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Speaker 1: as the Lord works in the heart of another, creating
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Speaker 1: in that person a thirst for spiritual things. We are
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Speaker 1: so convinced of the sovereign hand of God here at
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Speaker 1: our church that we believe your coming today is no accident.
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Speaker 1: We believe that God's hand was in that decision, that
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Speaker 1: his desire was for you to be here, to hear
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Speaker 1: what will be said and sung, and to find yourself
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Speaker 1: increasingly more curious, especially you who visit with us, about
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Speaker 1: what this is all about. We live in a post-Christian
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Speaker 1: era where many have no concept of a Creator God
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Speaker 1: or of a loving Savior or of life eternal. God's
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Speaker 1: plan is to bring you in his time to himself
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Speaker 1: by his grace. Our prayer is that it will happen today.
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Speaker 1: You will personally, as if you were the only one here,
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Speaker 1: come to know Christ and to understand why he would
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Speaker 1: die on a cross like that. and what that meant,
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Speaker 1: and how it affects you. For you see, a person
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Speaker 1: is a Christian not because he's religious or sings songs
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Speaker 1: or quotes verses. He's a Christian because he or she
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Speaker 1: is rightly related to God through faith in Jesus. As
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Speaker 1: we bow for prayer together and in a few moments
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Speaker 1: as an offering is received, if you're here without Christ,
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Speaker 1: Please do not give. We love having you visit and
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Speaker 1: we never want you to be confused thinking that by
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Speaker 1: your giving something to God, you will somehow earn his favor.
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Speaker 1: We don't earn God's favor. Christ has won God's favor
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Speaker 1: by dying for us. What you need mainly is to
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Speaker 1: take the gift God has for you. As Christians today
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Speaker 1: participate in the offering, this is your moment to receive
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Speaker 1: him and him doing so to gain life eternal. Bow
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Speaker 1: with me, please. We're reminded, dear Father, that he who
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Speaker 1: has the Son has the life. But he who does
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Speaker 1: not have the Son does not have the life. All
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Speaker 1: our days we are taught to believe that real living
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Speaker 1: is about life on this planet when in fact we've
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Speaker 1: come to realize that real living is about an eternal
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Speaker 1: dimension where life becomes the life you give us. that
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Speaker 1: takes us through our days on this earth and then
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Speaker 1: beyond the grave to eternal life with you. How grateful
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Speaker 1: we are for the way you have provided this path
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Speaker 1: that leads us from time into eternity in such a natural, beautiful,
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Speaker 1: marvelous manner. which we realize upon examining is truly supernatural
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Speaker 1: and life-changing and transforming. We bow before you today, our God,
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Speaker 1: grateful for your care. And we ask that you would
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Speaker 1: use these gifts to reach out to those who have never,
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Speaker 1: ever in their life heard of Jesus. and attract them
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Speaker 1: to Him whom to know is life eternal. In His
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Speaker 1: name we pray and for His glory we give. And
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Speaker 1: everyone said, Amen. Two things happen when you are involved
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Speaker 1: in the study of a life in the Bible. First
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Speaker 1: of all, the person leaves the realm of theory and
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Speaker 1: becomes a friend. Maybe you're noticing that is happening with Abraham.
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Speaker 1: He's no longer this dusty figure tucked away in some
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Speaker 1: unknown section of the Old Testament. He's a man. He's
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Speaker 1: a man like we men are. He has married a
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Speaker 1: wife like many of us have, and Sarah is a
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Speaker 1: woman like many of you ladies are. They are real people.
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Speaker 1: who go through real situations that are so much like
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Speaker 1: we go through. And the second thing that happens is
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Speaker 1: that your Bible automatically opens to the same place that
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Speaker 1: we have done for so long a time. It just
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Speaker 1: goes back to Genesis, and there it is as we
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Speaker 1: have been there before. Since he's such an old friend,
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Speaker 1: it seems worth it to spend a few minutes sort
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Speaker 1: of setting the stage, lest you forget. For 75 years,
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Speaker 1: this old man lived in a place called Ur, U-R,
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Speaker 1: Ur of the Chaldeans, in a vast area named Mesopotamia,
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Speaker 1: great big four-bit word, that represents a land that is
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Speaker 1: about 500 miles from where we find him here in
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Speaker 1: Genesis 23 and 24, in the land of Canaan. His
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Speaker 1: daddy was an idolater, no doubt. Abraham, in his lost estate,
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Speaker 1: was an idolater. All who lived in Ur worshiped idols.
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Speaker 1: That's his background. He comes from an absolutely degenerate, depraved lifestyle.
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Speaker 1: And then, wouldn't you know it, God got his attention
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Speaker 1: one day in a very special way. and won his heart.
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Speaker 1: And he said in effect to Abraham, I want you
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Speaker 1: to be my model of a man of faith. Enough
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Speaker 1: of idols, I want you to walk with me. To
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Speaker 1: complicate things a little, he moved him from where he
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Speaker 1: had lived those 75 years, and he set him on
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Speaker 1: a journey that had no destination written on a map.
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Speaker 1: In fact, it says in Hebrews, Abraham went out not
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Speaker 1: knowing where he was going. You and I never make
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Speaker 1: trips like that. We always know where we're starting and
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Speaker 1: where we're winding up, our destination. Abraham left by faith
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Speaker 1: with his wife, 65-year-old Sarah, 75-year-old Abraham, on their way
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Speaker 1: to a place God would show them. And we've seen
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Speaker 1: Abraham in sort of the highs and lows of his existence.
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Speaker 1: He's sometimes operated with incredible courage and integrity, and other
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Speaker 1: times he slumped into carnality and operated in the flesh,
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Speaker 1: just like all of us do from time to time
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Speaker 1: in our lives. He's not a model of perfection. He's
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Speaker 1: a man of faith, but he's not perfect. And that
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Speaker 1: gives a lot of us hope. Along with his struggles,
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Speaker 1: he's got to deal with this wayward nephew who traveled
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Speaker 1: with him named Lot. Lot's sort of in and out
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Speaker 1: of trouble. He lives his life just for whatever he
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Speaker 1: can get out of it. And he's selfish and he's
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Speaker 1: greedy and he's short-sighted and he's immoral and all of
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Speaker 1: the things that go with that kind of lifestyle. And
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Speaker 1: Abraham literally prays him out of Sodom. And as he leaves,
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Speaker 1: he can feel the heat of Sodom and Gomorrah as
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Speaker 1: it is being destroyed behind him. And he literally makes
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Speaker 1: it out by the skin of his teeth. His wife
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Speaker 1: doesn't make it. She turns and, as a result, becomes
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Speaker 1: a pillar of salt. And all the stuff that made
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Speaker 1: Lot what he was, we've seen Abraham through that. And then,
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Speaker 1: wouldn't you know it, about the time you think he's
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Speaker 1: about finished, After all, he's 100 years old. God says
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Speaker 1: to him, okay, now I'm going to keep my promise.
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Speaker 1: Sarah's going to have a baby. She's 90. He's 100.
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Speaker 1: We've laughed about that on several occasions, trying to imagine
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Speaker 1: what life was like as they get used to a
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Speaker 1: brand-new baby named Laughter. Yes, the Hebrew word means he laughed.
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Speaker 1: Because both he, Abraham, and Sarah laughed when they were
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Speaker 1: told that they would have a baby that late in life.
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Speaker 1: Isaac is the son of promise. God says to Abraham,
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Speaker 1: when you have this boy, count on me, from him
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Speaker 1: there will be blessings that will touch the lives of
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Speaker 1: multiple thousands, even millions of people in the days ahead. Naturally,
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Speaker 1: being older in age, Abraham adored this boy. And the
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Speaker 1: Lord brought him to a place of enormous sacrifice where
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Speaker 1: he said, I want you to take Isaac up on
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Speaker 1: the mountain and I want you to sacrifice him. I
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Speaker 1: want you to kill him. And I was as quiet
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Speaker 1: as you are right now when I first read that.
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Speaker 1: The Lord was proving where Abraham's love really rested Was
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Speaker 1: it in the Lord who gave the gift of Isaac
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Speaker 1: or was it in the son himself, the gift? Abraham
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Speaker 1: proved his love and the Lord said, now I know
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Speaker 1: that you really have me in top priority. And that's
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Speaker 1: great and Isaac grows up under the roof of this
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Speaker 1: aging father and older mother. When we get to chapter 23,
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Speaker 1: The thing that Abraham has dreaded all along, his precious wife, dies.
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Speaker 1: You'll observe in 23 and verse 1, she's 127 years old.
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Speaker 1: Stay with me through this little bit of math, and
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Speaker 1: it'll help you get an understanding of what we're about
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Speaker 1: to deal with. If Abraham is 10 years older than Sarah,
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Speaker 1: He's 137 when she dies. Stay with me. If Abraham
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Speaker 1: was 100 years old when Isaac was born, Isaac is 37. Okay?
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Speaker 1: Sarah dies at 127. Abraham mourns over her death, provides
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Speaker 1: her with a dignified burial, and then buries her in
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Speaker 1: the cave of Machpelah after dealing with the sons of Heth.
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Speaker 1: in the land that was purchased. In the meantime, during
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Speaker 1: all these years, Abraham has amassed enormous wealth, enormous riches.
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Speaker 1: He is rich in cattle. He's rich in sheep. He's
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Speaker 1: rich in servants. He is rich in silver and gold.
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Speaker 1: He is called a man of great wealth. We read
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Speaker 1: of that in chapter 24, verse 1. where Abraham was old. Now,
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Speaker 1: how old? 137. How old is Isaac? 37. If you
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Speaker 1: look at chapter 25, verse 20, you'll see that when
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Speaker 1: Isaac found his wife, Rebecca, and married, he is 40
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Speaker 1: years old. So, there's a three-year span between the death
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Speaker 1: of Sarah and the finding of Rebekah and the marriage
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Speaker 1: of Isaac to Rebekah. Okay? Stay with me. Three years.
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Speaker 1: Isaac is living as a single adult under the roof
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Speaker 1: of an aging father, and now he has mourned the
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Speaker 1: death of his mother as she's out of the picture,
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Speaker 1: and it's just Isaac and Abraham. Through some means of communication,
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Speaker 1: God led Abraham, verse 1, verse 2 of chapter 24,
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Speaker 1: to realize, is this time for Isaac to have a bride?
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Speaker 1: So I take it that in the period of waiting,
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Speaker 1: somewhere in the vicinity of the three-year period, this occurs.
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Speaker 1: And Abraham is concerned that he have the right woman
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Speaker 1: because Abraham has known a long period of his marriage
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Speaker 1: with Sarah. He wants Isaac to have a woman just
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Speaker 1: like he has enjoyed over the years and she enjoyed
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Speaker 1: with him. Now, this is where things get a little
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Speaker 1: bit squirrely from our perspective. In our day, when we
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Speaker 1: realize that the Lord is leading us to find a
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Speaker 1: marriage partner should he be leading us to do that.
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Speaker 1: We began a process called dating, or today, hanging out.
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Speaker 1: I asked my granddaughter the other day, are you dating him? No,
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Speaker 1: we're not dating. Well, what are you doing? Well, we're
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Speaker 1: going to dinner, and we're going to the show, and
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Speaker 1: we're spending time together. I go, duh. He says, we're
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Speaker 1: not dating. We're hanging out. So, we realize it's time
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Speaker 1: to hang out with somebody that we want to get
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Speaker 1: to know better. Before long, there is dating and then
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Speaker 1: official courtship and engagement and a marriage. And you are,
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Speaker 1: as the person who is getting married, you are all
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Speaker 1: over that. You're engaged in that. You are communicating, you
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Speaker 1: are spending time together, you are personally involved. What is
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Speaker 1: interesting is in these days, I should say those days,
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Speaker 1: the young man isn't at all involved in the choice
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Speaker 1: of a mate. His father is. In this case, because
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Speaker 1: the father's age, he couldn't travel, the servant of the
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Speaker 1: father is the one who seeks the wife. Cynthia and
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Speaker 1: I know a lady who who is married and married
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Speaker 1: in the similar way. She did not make the choice
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Speaker 1: of her husband. Her parents did. It still goes on
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Speaker 1: in certain areas of our world. So it seems strange
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Speaker 1: to us in America or Canada or Australia or places
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Speaker 1: we're familiar with, but in third world countries, it still
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Speaker 1: goes on. The Mideast, it's not uncommon at all. While
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Speaker 1: it may look strange to us, it is not strange
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Speaker 1: at all in that custom, in that era. And so
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Speaker 1: how do we apply all of this to us today?
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Speaker 1: I'm taking a while to set this up because obviously
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Speaker 1: we don't have a man dating or having a courtship
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Speaker 1: with a woman. Isaac never lays eyes on her till
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Speaker 1: the day he sees her, and within hours they marry.
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Speaker 1: Rebecca never meets Isaac before they marry. So how do
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Speaker 1: we make this tie in with our day and with
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Speaker 1: our world? Well, let's let the servant represent you or
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Speaker 1: me should we be in the one seeking a mate,
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Speaker 1: seeking a lifelong companion, okay? So we see him come
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Speaker 1: into the scene in verse two. Abraham says to his servant,
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Speaker 1: the oldest of his household. If you look previous in
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Speaker 1: the study of Abraham's life, you know that's Eleazar. Eleazar
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Speaker 1: is the servant, no doubt, who is the oldest of
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Speaker 1: the household. And please observe, he had been put in
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Speaker 1: charge of all that Abraham owned. So he's his financial consultant.
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Speaker 1: He is a trusted, loyal servant. He's not just the
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Speaker 1: guy that throws out the trash. He's not the one
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Speaker 1: who cooks the meals. He's engaged in the life of Abraham.
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Speaker 1: He knows Abraham. He was there when Isaac was born.
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Speaker 1: He knows Isaac for these 37 years. So Abraham says, Eliezer,
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Speaker 1: it's time. But I don't want you to go to
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Speaker 1: the people that we live with here in Canaan. I
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Speaker 1: want you to go back to Mesopotamia. That's a 500
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Speaker 1: mile trip from where they're located. And I want you
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Speaker 1: to take whatever's necessary And I want you to let
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Speaker 1: the Lord lead you in the selection of a mate
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Speaker 1: for my son, Isaac. That is a huge responsibility. But frankly,
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Speaker 1: no greater than the one you face when you're the
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Speaker 1: one seeking the Lord's choice for you. Unless, of course,
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Speaker 1: you're driven by the flesh and it's all about how
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Speaker 1: pretty she is or how much money he has. I
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Speaker 1: heard a Interesting way to put it, I said to
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Speaker 1: a father of a woman who was approaching 50, I said,
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Speaker 1: is she married? He said, no, not yet. My daughter's
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Speaker 1: not yet married. Really? I said, okay. Does she plan
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Speaker 1: to get married? He said, not until she meets someone
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Speaker 1: who is very old and very rich and very sick.
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Speaker 1: Then I'm going to help her know that's the one.
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Speaker 1: Just kidding, okay? It was just a joke. He's got
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Speaker 1: a wealthy father and all that Abraham has, we could
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Speaker 1: read here, he turns over to Isaac. He's a very
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Speaker 1: wealthy man at age 37. But it isn't his wealth
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Speaker 1: that's driving this courtship. It isn't that at all. It
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Speaker 1: is the Lord. And that's the most difficult thing in
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Speaker 1: our era to allow to happen. when you are seeking
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Speaker 1: the Lord's choice for you, is to let him lead
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Speaker 1: from start to finish. Not how much money is he making,
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Speaker 1: not how beautiful is she, not what kind of parents
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Speaker 1: do they have, not what part of the country are
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Speaker 1: they from. Is this the Lord's choice for me? And
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Speaker 1: at that point, it gets real iffy, doesn't it? I mean,
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Speaker 1: let's not get too spiritual about this. At that point,
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Speaker 1: you have to go, okay, I've got to really walk
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Speaker 1: with God through this. I don't want to be led
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Speaker 1: by my glands. I don't want to be driven by
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Speaker 1: some impulsive action. I don't want to jump into this
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Speaker 1: at the same time. If she seems to be the
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Speaker 1: one or he seems to be the one, I don't
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Speaker 1: want to lose that person. So you have to be
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Speaker 1: real sensitive through the process. Okay, we're going to let
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Speaker 1: the servant represent that. So Abraham says to the servant,
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Speaker 1: go find this person and don't choose one from the
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Speaker 1: land of Canaan. Verse 4, you shall go to my country.
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Speaker 1: That would be Ur. That would be Mesopotamia. Go to
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Speaker 1: my relatives and take a wife from my son Isaac.
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Speaker 1: Look at that responsibility. You've got to trust that servant.
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Speaker 1: He had to have a real heart for that family.
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Speaker 1: Servant said, suppose the woman will not be willing to
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Speaker 1: follow me to this land. Should I take your son
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Speaker 1: back to the land from where you came? Abraham goes, no, no, no, no, no.
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Speaker 1: It's not the plan. Beware that you do not take
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Speaker 1: my son back there. Why? I don't know. That's a
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Speaker 1: great insight that I can share with you right now.
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Speaker 1: I don't know. because we're not told. Now, you've got
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Speaker 1: people around you that think they know. They don't know either.
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Speaker 1: We don't know. He just says, I just don't want
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Speaker 1: Isaac to go. Maybe it was he didn't want Isaac
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Speaker 1: to be caught up in all the stuff that naturally
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Speaker 1: attracts you when you're a young man or a 40-year-old,
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Speaker 1: depending on what you call young. Verse 7, the Lord,
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Speaker 1: the God of heaven, who took me from my father's
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Speaker 1: house and from the land of my birth and who
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Speaker 1: spoke to me, who swore to me, saying to your descendants,
29:15
Speaker 1: I will give the land. He will send an angel
29:18
Speaker 1: before you, look closely, and you will take a wife
29:23
Speaker 1: for my son from there. There isn't a question in
29:27
Speaker 1: Abraham's mind. He knows that the Lord is going to
29:31
Speaker 1: lead in this process. If a woman is not willing
29:36
Speaker 1: to follow you, then you will be free from this,
29:39
Speaker 1: my oath, only do not take my son back there.
29:45
Speaker 1: Here's faith. Eleazar, when you go looking for the woman,
29:50
Speaker 1: the angel of God is going to guide you and
29:52
Speaker 1: I'm going to trust the Lord to work through him
29:57
Speaker 1: to lead you to the one you should choose. So
30:02
Speaker 1: we want this to work correctly and we want it
30:05
Speaker 1: to flow. When the Lord is in it, things flow.
30:09
Speaker 1: When he's not in it, you have to force it.
30:12
Speaker 1: It's when we start forcing things, we live to regret it.
30:16
Speaker 1: So the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham,
30:19
Speaker 1: his master, and swore to him concerning the matter. That's
30:23
Speaker 1: an old way of making a promise. You put your
30:26
Speaker 1: hand under his thigh and and you enter into a covenant,
30:30
Speaker 1: you swear that you will do as you are instructed
30:32
Speaker 1: to do. It was a custom in those days. And
30:35
Speaker 1: he swore to him concerning this matter. You can trust me. Now,
30:38
Speaker 1: what's the first of the five guidelines I want to
30:41
Speaker 1: share with you? In today's terms, and knowing how we
30:46
Speaker 1: go about our courtship, dating, ultimately falling in love, and
30:53
Speaker 1: then getting engaged and finally marrying, what are the guidelines
30:58
Speaker 1: we can learn from this? The first, hear and heed
31:03
Speaker 1: the counsel of godly parents. Hear and heed the counsel
31:10
Speaker 1: of godly parents. I would say this to every person
31:14
Speaker 1: seeking a mate. Hear and heed the counsel of godly parents.
31:23
Speaker 1: Do I believe parents are always right? Of course not.
31:28
Speaker 1: Parents are not always godly. Do I believe godly parents
31:32
Speaker 1: are always right? Nope. I'm not saying that. But I'm
31:36
Speaker 1: saying chances are better if your parents are walking with
31:39
Speaker 1: the Lord, then they know the Lord longer than you've
31:43
Speaker 1: known Him. They often know you better than you know yourself.
31:48
Speaker 1: They're objective where you and I are subjective when we're
31:53
Speaker 1: falling in love when we're searching for the one we
31:56
Speaker 1: should have. Parents seem to often have a sixth sense.
32:02
Speaker 1: They kind of know she's the one for you. I
32:06
Speaker 1: heard that just this past week. We were with a couple,
32:09
Speaker 1: and I asked, they're going to get married, and I asked,
32:12
Speaker 1: how do the parents feel about it? And it was
32:14
Speaker 1: a great time at that little luncheon we had, as
32:17
Speaker 1: they looked at each other, batting those little eyes, and
32:20
Speaker 1: they're all excited about it. marriage and all of that.
32:23
Speaker 1: I said, what do the folks think? Oh, they're crazy
32:26
Speaker 1: about her. In other words, they have the parents' blessing. Now,
32:31
Speaker 1: having said all of that, I will say two things.
32:36
Speaker 1: Number one, I have rarely seen it fail that parents
32:40
Speaker 1: are wrong when they're godly parents and they have your
32:44
Speaker 1: good at heart. I've rarely seen an exception. Now, here's
32:49
Speaker 1: the second that balances that out. I have seen times
32:53
Speaker 1: when even godly parents were wrong. I know of one
32:58
Speaker 1: case that I will not name, but it's a classic
33:01
Speaker 1: case of the parents saying she is not the one
33:04
Speaker 1: for you. And the person married and they've now been
33:07
Speaker 1: married over 50 years. She obviously was. So the parents
33:11
Speaker 1: missed it on that. Nevertheless, we should hear and heed
33:16
Speaker 1: the counsel of godly parents. There's wisdom in that guideline.
33:22
Speaker 1: If nothing else, it will cause you to converse with
33:26
Speaker 1: those who have known you longer than the one you're
33:29
Speaker 1: thinking of marrying. Parents have a longer period of years
33:35
Speaker 1: as they've watched you grow to know how you're put
33:37
Speaker 1: together and so on. Now here's the second principle. Saturate
33:42
Speaker 1: the entire process in prayer. Saturate the entire process in prayer.
33:50
Speaker 1: Look at verse 10. The servant took 10 camels from
33:54
Speaker 1: the camels of his master, set out with a variety
33:57
Speaker 1: of good things of his masters in his hand. So
33:59
Speaker 1: he took along a dowry, if you will, again, a
34:03
Speaker 1: custom of that era, of that geography. He arose and
34:07
Speaker 1: went to Mesopotamia to the city of Nahor. It's exactly
34:10
Speaker 1: where Abraham told him to go. In one verse, we've
34:13
Speaker 1: covered hundreds of miles, and that's on Campbell back. That's
34:17
Speaker 1: a long journey. So he gets to the place where
34:20
Speaker 1: he was sent by the Lord. Verse 11, he made
34:23
Speaker 1: the camels kneel down outside the city by the well
34:26
Speaker 1: of water at evening time, the time when women go
34:29
Speaker 1: out to draw water. Make sense? He goes and he
34:34
Speaker 1: kneels down, his camels kneel there, and look at what
34:37
Speaker 1: he does. Verse 12, O Lord God, he's praying. He
34:44
Speaker 1: doesn't know who the woman is. He's a stranger in
34:48
Speaker 1: a strange land. No one knows him, and he knows
34:51
Speaker 1: no one there. So he says, O Lord, the God
34:54
Speaker 1: of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and
34:58
Speaker 1: show loving kindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am
35:02
Speaker 1: standing by the spring, and the daughters of men of
35:05
Speaker 1: the city are coming out to draw water. Now may
35:08
Speaker 1: it be that the girl to whom I say, Please
35:12
Speaker 1: let down your jar so that I may drink. And
35:15
Speaker 1: who answers, drink, and I will water your camels also.
35:22
Speaker 1: May she be the one whom you have appointed for
35:25
Speaker 1: your servant Isaac. And by this I shall know that
35:28
Speaker 1: you have shown loving kindness to my master. Okay? This
35:33
Speaker 1: is called, in the words of another portion of the
35:36
Speaker 1: Old Testament, laying out a fleece. Laying out a fleece
35:42
Speaker 1: that has roots to it I won't get into. You
35:45
Speaker 1: lay out a fleece when you bring before the Lord
35:49
Speaker 1: a specific, usually an unusual specific request and say when
35:56
Speaker 1: that happens I will know he's the one or she's
35:58
Speaker 1: the one. For example, I know a man who said
36:03
Speaker 1: to the Lord the night before there was a dinner planned,
36:06
Speaker 1: if she comes to the dinner in a red plaid skirt, Lord,
36:14
Speaker 1: I'll know that she's the one. That's a fleece. Well,
36:19
Speaker 1: it's plaid, but it's a fleece. Never mind. Red plaid skirt, okay?
36:25
Speaker 1: And sure enough, wouldn't you know it, the next night,
36:28
Speaker 1: when she shows up, she's wearing this red plaid skirt.
36:34
Speaker 1: Guess what? Now that I've been all eloquent with all
36:38
Speaker 1: the stuff I'm trying to explain, I take They married,
36:41
Speaker 1: they've been married for over 50 years, happy as clams.
36:45
Speaker 1: So it worked. But I think it worked not because
36:48
Speaker 1: she had on a red plaid skirt. I think it
36:51
Speaker 1: worked because God was leading him to her. Be careful
36:55
Speaker 1: about fleeces or you'll do a lot of dumb things. Lord,
37:02
Speaker 1: if the next five lights are green, Click, click, click.
37:08
Speaker 1: Then I'll know when I get up to her house
37:11
Speaker 1: she's the one. You dodo. That's no way of knowing
37:15
Speaker 1: if that's God's plan. The changing of lights has nothing
37:20
Speaker 1: to do with a choice this important. Lord, if the
37:24
Speaker 1: first word out of her mouth is hi, I will
37:27
Speaker 1: know she's the one. Don't do that. Now, having said that,
37:34
Speaker 1: the reason he does it is because he doesn't have
37:37
Speaker 1: all the scriptures. He has no scriptures. This is Genesis,
37:41
Speaker 1: for goodness sake. There are no recorded scriptures. The work
37:45
Speaker 1: of the Holy Spirit is not engaged in his life.
37:48
Speaker 1: The angel of God is guiding him, and he says
37:53
Speaker 1: something that makes sense to them at that time. Guide me, Lord,
37:57
Speaker 1: if she's the one, may she not only offer me
37:59
Speaker 1: a drink, but my camels as well. And wouldn't you know,
38:04
Speaker 1: verse 15, it came about before he had finished speaking.
38:09
Speaker 1: And behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel, the son
38:13
Speaker 1: of Milcah, the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor, came out
38:17
Speaker 1: with her jar on her shoulder. Of all people in
38:21
Speaker 1: all of Mesopotamia, how about that? Here is Abraham's grand niece.
38:28
Speaker 1: Don't stop and try to figure that out or you
38:30
Speaker 1: won't hear anything else I have to say. Just trust
38:33
Speaker 1: me on it. This is a distant relative of Abraham.
38:37
Speaker 1: But the point is, out of the blue, here comes
38:40
Speaker 1: Rebecca with the water on her shoulder. And so naturally,
38:45
Speaker 1: the servant sees her and decides this is the moment.
38:51
Speaker 1: I will ask for a drink. Now look at what
38:56
Speaker 1: he does. Verse 16. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin.
39:01
Speaker 1: No man had had relations with her. She went down
39:04
Speaker 1: to the spring, filled the jar, came up. The servant
39:08
Speaker 1: ran to meet her and said, please, let me drink
39:13
Speaker 1: a little water from your jar. She said, drink, my lord.
39:20
Speaker 1: Words that were very familiar at that time. And she
39:23
Speaker 1: quickly lowered the jar to her hand and gave him
39:26
Speaker 1: a drink. Now, look at verse 19. When she had
39:29
Speaker 1: finished giving him a drink, she said, I will draw
39:33
Speaker 1: also for your camels until they have finished drinking. That's
39:39
Speaker 1: exactly what he had asked would happen. And he hears
39:43
Speaker 1: this and he goes, whoa. So brings us to our
39:48
Speaker 1: third Look for qualities that reveal true character. Look for
39:59
Speaker 1: qualities that reveal great character. First, she has good roots.
40:07
Speaker 1: She's physically beautiful, but more importantly, she's lovelier within. She
40:13
Speaker 1: is sexually pure. She's morally strong. She's unselfish. She's thoughtful.
40:20
Speaker 1: She's courteous. She's diligent. She's caring. Remember, he's a total stranger.
40:27
Speaker 1: He's like any other guy waiting at the well for
40:31
Speaker 1: a drink of water. However, this servant is very sharp.
40:37
Speaker 1: Verse 21. Look at the verse. The man was gazing
40:45
Speaker 1: at her face. in silence. That's very eloquent. He's watching
40:51
Speaker 1: her every move. You know, when you are seeking the
40:57
Speaker 1: Lord's choice, you have to be sensitive. So that takes concentration,
41:12
Speaker 1: takes times of being very objective, listening. watching, seeing him
41:21
Speaker 1: or her under pressure, observing how they handle certain things
41:27
Speaker 1: in life. Does she fit? Does he fit my style,
41:32
Speaker 1: my personality? Could this be a lasting relationship? So he's
41:39
Speaker 1: gazing at her to know whether the Lord had made
41:43
Speaker 1: his journey successful or not. It's the way the Lord
41:46
Speaker 1: writes in this verse, to let him know if she's
41:49
Speaker 1: the one. So he's watching. He's not saying anything. It
41:53
Speaker 1: takes a while to feed ten camels. Those suckers drink
41:57
Speaker 1: a lot. I mean, he's hauling water back and forth
42:00
Speaker 1: and back and forth. And he's watching her do all
42:03
Speaker 1: of this. Very diligent. Very thoughtful. I mean, she's not
42:09
Speaker 1: out hustling the husband. She's just being courteous to a
42:13
Speaker 1: man who is in need. She obviously sees he's been
42:17
Speaker 1: on the road and the camels are thirsty and she's
42:19
Speaker 1: going to help out. Now, he decides he's going to
42:22
Speaker 1: express to her his gratitude. So when the camels, verse 22,
42:27
Speaker 1: had finished drinking, he took a gold ring, weighing half
42:30
Speaker 1: a shekel, and two bracelets for her wrist, weighing 10
42:34
Speaker 1: shekels in gold. That's pretty expensive gear. Well, not gear,
42:39
Speaker 1: but I mean bling. That's another way to put it.
42:45
Speaker 1: So he lays that on her. And what does she
42:48
Speaker 1: think about that? Does she think, oh, thanks, and shoves
42:50
Speaker 1: it in her pocket? No. Look at verse 30. Came
42:54
Speaker 1: about when he, that's the brother, saw the ring, she
42:58
Speaker 1: must have been wearing it, and the bracelets on her,
43:03
Speaker 1: on his sister's wrist. So she's put them on. She's
43:08
Speaker 1: taken the gifts. I realize that he's done it to
43:13
Speaker 1: be gracious. Not unlike a tip, if you will, to
43:18
Speaker 1: the service of a waiter or waitress. And he says,
43:22
Speaker 1: I want to give you something to thank you. And
43:24
Speaker 1: so he gives her this. But now, this brings a
43:29
Speaker 1: fourth guideline. Here we go. Proceed, cautiously, think deeply. This
43:37
Speaker 1: is the step that we don't usually take. Once we
43:41
Speaker 1: get past the beauty, we think, boy, there's the gal
43:44
Speaker 1: for me, trust me, after a few years, a lot
43:51
Speaker 1: of that stuff is going to fade. Now, I don't
43:53
Speaker 1: mean that the wrong way, if you've been married a
43:57
Speaker 1: long time. I've got to get out of this. Back
44:08
Speaker 1: to the biblical text. You know what I'm saying. If
44:13
Speaker 1: it's all the physical, you're going to live to see
44:17
Speaker 1: the day that that doesn't become the most important. Especially
44:22
Speaker 1: if in midlife you get a dread disease. Suddenly the
44:27
Speaker 1: beauty of the wife is not nearly as important as
44:31
Speaker 1: the unselfishness of that wife. Or the courtesy of a
44:37
Speaker 1: husband when you're crippled And you need someone to care
44:42
Speaker 1: for you. Our daughter, who handles the special needs ministry
44:48
Speaker 1: at our Insight for Living organization, sent us a wonderful
44:54
Speaker 1: video clip of a husband who is caring for his wife.
44:59
Speaker 1: It brought tears to my eyes. His wife now has Alzheimer's.
45:04
Speaker 1: Still a fairly attractive looking woman, but he now is
45:10
Speaker 1: doing everything He's doing everything. And he's fixed up a
45:16
Speaker 1: bicycle where she can ride on it. He's got a
45:18
Speaker 1: nice soft seat. He straps her in and puts a
45:21
Speaker 1: little helmet on her. They ride together. He puts her
45:23
Speaker 1: in the car. He takes care of her high genetical needs.
45:29
Speaker 1: He prepares her for bed. He feeds her her meals.
45:35
Speaker 1: And she hardly knows who he is. Trust me. At
45:42
Speaker 1: that point, whether he's handsome or not is not at
45:45
Speaker 1: all important. It's does he have the character to handle
45:50
Speaker 1: a long-term marriage? Listen to me. I understand that days
45:59
Speaker 1: can be lonely and times can be tough, and you feel,
46:03
Speaker 1: I can't stand it till I find a partner in life. No,
46:06
Speaker 1: you don't want just a partner. You want a lifelong companion.
46:11
Speaker 1: who will be there for you. And you want to
46:14
Speaker 1: be there for him or for her. He sees in
46:18
Speaker 1: her qualities that are wonderful. He thinks, oh, my master
46:27
Speaker 1: would love a woman like this. So he goes a
46:31
Speaker 1: little further. He asks her, verse 23, whose daughter are you?
46:39
Speaker 1: He wants to get to know her. Please tell me.
46:41
Speaker 1: And is there room for us to lodge in your
46:44
Speaker 1: father's house? It's a little bit forward to ask that,
46:48
Speaker 1: but hey, he needs a place to hang out that night,
46:52
Speaker 1: and maybe there's a place. And she says to him,
46:57
Speaker 1: we have plenty. We have straw, we have feed, we
46:59
Speaker 1: have a room for you to lodge in. And the
47:02
Speaker 1: man bowed, and look at what he does. He worships
47:05
Speaker 1: the Lord. It's all about spiritual things. I love that quality.
47:11
Speaker 1: And this guideline is to proceed cautiously and to think deeply.
47:17
Speaker 1: The spiritual sensitivity he needed to do this right cannot
47:21
Speaker 1: be overstated. How valuable it is that he go about
47:27
Speaker 1: this the right way. Look at the woman, verse 28.
47:31
Speaker 1: The girl ran and said to and told her mother's
47:34
Speaker 1: household about those things and Rebecca had a brother whose
47:38
Speaker 1: name was Laban. Laban ran outside to the man at
47:41
Speaker 1: the spring. It came about when he saw the ring
47:44
Speaker 1: and the bracelets that were on his sister's wrist. And
47:48
Speaker 1: when he heard the words of Rebecca, his sister saying,
47:51
Speaker 1: this is what the man said to me. He went
47:54
Speaker 1: to the man and behold, he was standing by the
47:56
Speaker 1: camels at the spring. He said, come in, come on in.
48:02
Speaker 1: Blessed of the Lord, why do you stand outside since
48:05
Speaker 1: I've prepared the house and a place for the camels.
48:08
Speaker 1: So the man entered the house and Laban unloaded the
48:11
Speaker 1: camels and look at how thoughtful that was. He gave
48:14
Speaker 1: straw and feed for the camels and water to wash
48:17
Speaker 1: his feet and the feet of the men who were
48:19
Speaker 1: with him. Proceeding cautiously, he observed some things about the family.
48:26
Speaker 1: May I say it here? Couples don't marry, families marry.
48:31
Speaker 1: You just don't marry another individual of the opposite sex
48:35
Speaker 1: You marry a family, her parents, her brothers and sisters,
48:42
Speaker 1: your parents, your brothers, should they be living, and your brothers.
48:45
Speaker 1: And this all figures into the scene. Now, I realize
48:51
Speaker 1: I can't keep doing this or we'll be here to suffer.
48:54
Speaker 1: So let me give you one more guideline. And this
48:58
Speaker 1: is probably the key. Determine if there is a mutual
49:05
Speaker 1: interest in spiritual things. Determine if there is a mutual
49:13
Speaker 1: interest in spiritual things. I will tell you openly that
49:19
Speaker 1: is what attracted me most to my bride. I realized
49:26
Speaker 1: in this young woman that there is a heart for
49:31
Speaker 1: God that was beating harder for him than my own.
49:36
Speaker 1: And I wanted to be around that. I wanted to
49:40
Speaker 1: have that kind of person near me and in my life.
49:45
Speaker 1: So we cannot help but be impressed with the complete
49:49
Speaker 1: openness of the servant. Look at this. Verse 33. When
49:54
Speaker 1: food was set before him to eat, he said, I
49:56
Speaker 1: will not eat. I will not eat until I have
49:59
Speaker 1: told my business. And he said, speak on. He said,
50:02
Speaker 1: I'm Abraham's servant. So he doesn't even eat his meal.
50:06
Speaker 1: He says, let me just come right out and tell
50:08
Speaker 1: you the whole scoop. I don't want any of this
50:11
Speaker 1: to be a surprise. I have no hidden agenda. I
50:14
Speaker 1: want you to know why I'm here. And the verses
50:17
Speaker 1: that follow, he spells it all out to them. And
50:21
Speaker 1: the brother, along with others in the family, go, oh,
50:27
Speaker 1: maybe this man Isaac is the one for our sister,
50:31
Speaker 1: for our daughter. And they work through all of that,
50:34
Speaker 1: and all of it is handled so so beautifully under
50:39
Speaker 1: the Lord's guidance. Now, fast forward to today. We have eHarmony.com.
50:48
Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with that. I'm not criticizing it. There's Match.com.
50:55
Speaker 1: There's Christian Mingle. And all of these different things. And
51:01
Speaker 1: you know, you got cell phones. So you can send
51:04
Speaker 1: this back. Hey, Isaac. Check her out. What do you think, buddy?
51:10
Speaker 1: You can do that. All the more reason for us
51:18
Speaker 1: to be very cautious. Surely a courtship doesn't revolve around
51:29
Speaker 1: somebody tweeting somebody else. Surely it's more than a, how
51:35
Speaker 1: about that? Look at that body. Look at that face.
51:41
Speaker 1: There's none of that. Of course there isn't here. This
51:48
Speaker 1: is a total by faith negotiation. And I challenge anyone
51:55
Speaker 1: in this particular situation to stay sensitive to what God
52:02
Speaker 1: is leading you to think and to do. Stay sensitive.
52:09
Speaker 1: Take your time. There's one final test in the whole thing,
52:15
Speaker 1: and that is would Rebecca be willing to go? I mean,
52:20
Speaker 1: she's sitting there watching this conversation realizing they're talking about
52:26
Speaker 1: my being a bride. And so they said, verse 57,
52:34
Speaker 1: we will call the girl and consult her wishes And
52:37
Speaker 1: then they called Rebecca and said to her, will you
52:40
Speaker 1: go with this man? And she said, I will go.
52:47
Speaker 1: Look at that. She has never laid eyes on Isaac.
52:51
Speaker 1: She's just known the servant for a few hours. But
52:56
Speaker 1: she's heard enough on her side to know the Lord's
53:00
Speaker 1: in this. So I am not saying that you have
53:05
Speaker 1: to go with somebody for 19 years before you can
53:08
Speaker 1: know sometime. There are things that occur and it's sort
53:11
Speaker 1: of a you're on. Let me tell you a funny
53:16
Speaker 1: story because we're all so serious about all of this.
53:19
Speaker 1: Maybe it's time for a little lighthearted true story. I
53:24
Speaker 1: was ministering up at Moody Bible Institute at a Moody
53:28
Speaker 1: Founders Week as I recall and we were having a
53:30
Speaker 1: great time and one of the older ladies there, she
53:34
Speaker 1: had a terrific sense of humor, and she said, I
53:36
Speaker 1: just love it that when I listen to you talk
53:39
Speaker 1: that it's fun and it's also biblical and makes sense
53:43
Speaker 1: and all those things. She says, I've always had a
53:46
Speaker 1: great sense of humor. I said, well, I've noticed that.
53:48
Speaker 1: That's great. I said, are you married? She said, oh, yeah,
53:52
Speaker 1: let me tell you about that. She said, I did
53:55
Speaker 1: not have any possible reason individual that was working out,
54:01
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what to do. And she said,
54:05
Speaker 1: I was about 30, and no guy was coming along
54:11
Speaker 1: that I felt like was the one, so I decided
54:15
Speaker 1: I'd do something unusual. I got a pair of men's trousers,
54:19
Speaker 1: and I hung them on the foot of my bed,
54:23
Speaker 1: and I prayed. It's true, she said. Father in heaven,
54:27
Speaker 1: hear my prayer and grant it if you can. I've
54:30
Speaker 1: hung a pair of trousers here. Please fill them with
54:34
Speaker 1: a man. I promise you, she said that. I'm cracking up.
54:42
Speaker 1: I said, really? She said, yeah. And you know what?
54:48
Speaker 1: She said, I finally married and was into my 30s
54:51
Speaker 1: and we've had 12 kids since then. I thought, man,
54:53
Speaker 1: you really did get serious about that. Well, I thought
54:57
Speaker 1: the story was so great that when I went back
54:59
Speaker 1: to the church I was pastoring, I told that story.
55:02
Speaker 1: Didn't fit the sermon, but I jammed it in, you know.
55:06
Speaker 1: And sitting in the congregation was a father and a son.
55:11
Speaker 1: Though the family was a family of four, mom and
55:14
Speaker 1: a sick daughter were home. So mom and daughter didn't
55:17
Speaker 1: hear this story. But as I told this story, they
55:21
Speaker 1: did just what you did. They just cracked up. But
55:24
Speaker 1: the son, who was a collegiate, Kind of went, hmm.
55:30
Speaker 1: Didn't laugh. And so about two weeks later, I get
55:34
Speaker 1: a little note from his mother. And she said, dear Chuck,
55:40
Speaker 1: do I have anything to worry about? For the last
55:45
Speaker 1: couple or three nights when our son has gone to bed,
55:48
Speaker 1: there's been a bikini hanging over the foot of the bed.
56:01
Speaker 1: So I said something like, no, but just be ready.
56:04
Speaker 1: You never know what's going to happen. Isn't that a
56:07
Speaker 1: great story? Some people do funny things to get the
56:14
Speaker 1: Lord's nod. The beautiful part about it is when Isaac
56:19
Speaker 1: does finally lay eyes on her. I love this. I
56:22
Speaker 1: can hardly read it without my voice cracking. He's gone
56:27
Speaker 1: to the field toward evening and he looks up and
56:29
Speaker 1: the camels are coming. Look at this. Rebecca lifted up
56:34
Speaker 1: her eyes. They'd never seen each other before. And she
56:37
Speaker 1: saw Isaac. And she dismounted. And she said, who's that
56:42
Speaker 1: man walking in the field to meet us? And the
56:46
Speaker 1: servant said, oh, that's my master. And she took her
56:52
Speaker 1: veil and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all
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Speaker 1: the things he had done. Great response. Isaac brought her
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Speaker 1: into his mother Sarah's tent. Isn't that great? This is
57:10
Speaker 1: where my mom lived much of her life. And he
57:17
Speaker 1: took Rebecca and she became his wife. And he loved her.
57:30
Speaker 1: And she comforted him after his mother's death. This is
57:34
Speaker 1: three years later. And she sensed there's an ache in
57:39
Speaker 1: his heart. And she realized, I can help fill that void.
57:46
Speaker 1: She comforted him. I'm kind of a sucker for great
57:52
Speaker 1: love stories. And this is one of the great ones.
57:55
Speaker 1: And it breaks all the mold. I like that. Start
57:59
Speaker 1: to finish, it had to be the Lord. I like
58:02
Speaker 1: it that we can't explain some of it. In every
58:05
Speaker 1: great courtship, there are some things that you can't explain.
58:09
Speaker 1: You just can't explain it. You just know that God's
58:12
Speaker 1: in it. I wish I could say they lived happily
58:15
Speaker 1: ever after, but they lived together ever after. And all
58:20
Speaker 1: the trials notwithstanding. Can I tell you something real honestly here?
58:28
Speaker 1: Even if you go through all five of these guidelines,
58:31
Speaker 1: it may still blow up in your face. I wish
58:35
Speaker 1: I could guarantee that if you click off each of
58:38
Speaker 1: these five, you will know, and it will work, and
58:43
Speaker 1: you've got a partner for life. Not necessarily so. People change.
58:51
Speaker 1: Depravity has not left the building. It still impacts everyone.
58:57
Speaker 1: Lifelong relationships are cultivated and there must be a sustained
59:04
Speaker 1: commitment to unselfishness and to walk with Christ and the
59:08
Speaker 1: desire to honor him and to serve your partner and
59:13
Speaker 1: to share in this experience called marriage together. So let
59:17
Speaker 1: me close with a couple of always and a couple
59:20
Speaker 1: of nevers and we're through. Right quick, always. Always pursue
59:25
Speaker 1: God's will, not your own. And always Tell the truth. Regardless.
59:35
Speaker 1: Always pursue God's will, not your own. And always be honest.
59:40
Speaker 1: Honest all the way through your courtship. Honest all the
59:43
Speaker 1: way through the marriage. Honest all the way through the honeymoon.
59:47
Speaker 1: Honest all the way through the rest of your years.
59:49
Speaker 1: Be honest. Say the truth. Because I tell you, you
59:53
Speaker 1: start to lie when you're back hanging out, courting, engagement,
1:00:00
Speaker 1: You'll lie right through your marriage. Tell the truth. Hard
1:00:05
Speaker 1: as it is, tell the truth. Tell the truth. Nothing
1:00:10
Speaker 1: to hide. Say it. All the way through that, even
1:00:15
Speaker 1: the guy wouldn't eat a meal. He's like, I can't
1:00:17
Speaker 1: eat until I tell you why I'm here. I'm on
1:00:20
Speaker 1: a mission and I need to tell you what it's about.
1:00:23
Speaker 1: I love that. Always pursue God's will and always Be
1:00:29
Speaker 1: honest in your relationship. Here's the nevers. Never rush into
1:00:33
Speaker 1: anything you want to last forever. Never rush into anything
1:00:38
Speaker 1: you want to last forever. And never rationalize around the
1:00:47
Speaker 1: importance of sexual purity. Never. Never rush into anything that
1:00:56
Speaker 1: you want to last forever and never rationalize around the
1:01:00
Speaker 1: importance of staying pure sexually. Now, I realize when I
1:01:09
Speaker 1: say that that that's a very, very rare commitment nowadays.
1:01:16
Speaker 1: I realize that. It doesn't change the never. If you
1:01:21
Speaker 1: are compromising, today's the day to stop. Today's the day
1:01:25
Speaker 1: to seek the forgiveness because I will tell you if
1:01:28
Speaker 1: you do rationalize around it, listen to me, the roles
1:01:33
Speaker 1: will reverse. You will marry a woman who feels defrauded
1:01:40
Speaker 1: because of your sexual activity and with her body and
1:01:43
Speaker 1: with her life. And men, you will live with guilt.
1:01:48
Speaker 1: And she will take the role that is your responsibility
1:01:52
Speaker 1: as the leader of the home. That's what will happen.
1:01:58
Speaker 1: The defrauding that happens during the courtship where there is
1:02:02
Speaker 1: sexual compromise creates a reversal of the roles. I've rarely
1:02:07
Speaker 1: seen an exception. So that when she marries, she resents
1:02:12
Speaker 1: the man in later months, even years, and he finds
1:02:17
Speaker 1: himself trying to play catch up with guilt. The beauty
1:02:23
Speaker 1: here is that they never saw each other, never touched
1:02:26
Speaker 1: each other until the night of the marriage. You shall
1:02:35
Speaker 1: be bound to your wife, and I've noticed anything bonded
1:02:39
Speaker 1: by permanent glue must always be free of debris. It
1:02:45
Speaker 1: has to be clear and clean. Thank you, Father, for
1:02:53
Speaker 1: speaking to us in ways that we needed to hear.
1:02:58
Speaker 1: I pray for those who hear this message today that
1:03:02
Speaker 1: it will be understood as it was stated. Guard us
1:03:07
Speaker 1: from rushing to foolish extremes. Keep us from pursuing what
1:03:14
Speaker 1: we want rather than what you want. Seal our lips
1:03:19
Speaker 1: from lies, dishonesty. Keep us pure. Give us restraint. Lest
1:03:32
Speaker 1: we realize after the fact that we have, we've begun
1:03:37
Speaker 1: a process that is deteriorating almost before it gets going.
1:03:43
Speaker 1: Thank you in advance for good that will come from
1:03:45
Speaker 1: this council. From your word, I pray in Jesus' name.
1:03:49
Speaker 1: Everyone said, amen.
1:03:53
Speaker 2: The preceding message on Finding Your Lifelong Companion was copyrighted
1:03:58
Speaker 2: in 2013, 2014, and 2017, and the sound recording was
1:04:04
Speaker 2: copyrighted in 2017 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights
1:04:09
Speaker 2: are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use
1:04:15
Speaker 2: is strictly prohibited.