Latest / Real Investor Radio Podcast / Ep 69 | Real Estate Meets Self-Mastery, Professional and Personal Breakthrough with Brad Chandler

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Ep 69 | Real Estate Meets Self-Mastery, Professional and Personal Breakthrough with Brad Chandler · Real Investor Radio Podcast

• Craig Fuhr (00:12) Hey, welcome back to real investor radio. I'm Craig fewer joined again by Jack Bavier of the Dominion Group co owner of the Dominion Group jackets. Great to see you. Jack BeVier (00:21) Absolutely. Likewise. Craig Fuhr (00:23) We just spent a great episode talking with Brad Chandler, co-owner of Express Home Buyers, talked about his trajectory from 2003. Basically until today, we'll jump into a little bit more of that, but we were saying how if you, if you're in the DMV, the DC, Maryland, Virginia area, and you haven't heard of Express Home Buyers, you're probably not a real estate investor or a homeowner because Brad is the king of advertising in the area has been for at least 20 years now. So I would highly encourage everyone to go back and listen to that episode. Especially if you are a wholesaler who's interested in scaling your business really from scratch from, from nothing is what Brad basically built his business into. And so go back and listen to that one. Let us know your thoughts, Brad. Welcome back to the show. It's great to have you, So it's the story, man. I always love the story, Jack. BradChandler.com (01:15) Yeah, thanks for having me. Craig Fuhr (01:23) I'm actually thinking Jack, what do you think like, you know, we never really get a chance to talk to the amazing investors on this show about sort of the backstory and how they sort of got from zero to, you know, we spoke to a guy a couple of weeks ago, it's got 6,500 houses, we've spoken to, you know, one of the largest developers in North Carolina, we've infill developers, we've spoke, you know, Danny Catan is such an amazing story. And I always thought like, it would be cool to like, have you jump off Jack, because you're not like Joe touchy feely. And then like do 510 minutes with these guys as a mini episode on sort of like the backstory because I think it's fascinating. I was talking to a guy just yesterday, developer in DC, not exactly a happy market right now for multifamily Jack. And so he's got a building, Brad, I'm sorry, I gotta tell this quickie here. This guy's got a building. It's brand new. It was a land purchase was 2.5 million. The sponsor, the sellers of the building are institutional. And I think they put about 8 million into the building to build it, Jack. So let's call it a, I think it's valued at about 12 million bucks. They're selling it to this guy for 5.75 million. And it's brand new, brand new. They're bringing 2.75 to the table just to get out of the loan. Jack BeVier (02:39) It's brutal. Yeah. We've seen like a big, like a big reset in, in particularly DC multifamily versus the appraised values of old. Like those numbers can be down material, like really significantly. And, you know, just with, just with cap rate compression, I'm sorry, cap rate expansion. Craig Fuhr (02:48) So. BradChandler.com (02:53) Thank Craig Fuhr (03:04) I won't put you on the spot as to whether or not we'll underwrite that deal, the coolest part of it though was I got a chance to really talk to the guy and he was an attorney, then worked for a brokerage and basically bought a four unit that he found through the brokerage that he's working for. Then he went to a 17 unit. Jack BeVier (03:09) Of you will, but based off of 575. Craig Fuhr (03:31) 32 unit. And so he's grown rather quickly. He's got some really great LP capital behind him. And it's just a fascinating story of sort of, you know, how you underwrite these things, and how do you judge the risk and, and all of those things. So as you know, those are the kinds of things that I love to talk to guys about. So Brad, back to you. At what point in your day to day with Express? Did you did you feel like BradChandler.com (03:50) you Craig Fuhr (03:59) the wheels were sort of coming off for you, like you just didn't feel the passion for it. You know, what was that mindset shift in you that said, man, I think I've got to, I think I've got to go figure out what's really going on inside of me to find the happiness that you were looking for. Like, BradChandler.com (04:16) Yeah, it's an interesting story because it didn't happen that way for me. You know, the the two marriages that didn't work out the kids with behavioral issues and anxiety that the weed smoke and the drinking like I just kind of excused it all away. Like who doesn't have kids with anxiety? Who doesn't smoke some weed? Who doesn't get you know, I picked the wrong two women. So I wasn't I just thought life was pretty good. I always knew it could be better but I thought it's pretty good and In, late like 2020, I was trying to get my son help for anxiety and I was on a call with a performance coach and she said within like 10 minutes, you have a tick. I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, you blink like crazy. When you talk about your childhood, you may have some unresolved childhood issues that are actually affecting your son's anxiety. And I'm like me, no chance, no chance. I'm I've been a single dad for years. I treat my son like gold, take them all over the country playing golf. was like, but if you think so, I'll try anything. Craig Fuhr (05:01) All right. BradChandler.com (05:10) So she invited me to work for a weekend and go out to park city with her and her ex Navy seal husband. And in this weekend guys are actually a three hour session laying in this bed and Airbnb bedroom outside of park city, Utah, my life forever changed. mean, literally and figuratively, I became a new person that in that three hour session and I came back and everything just started making sense. It was why am I in real estate? It was always about money. And so I came back to the office and you know, I looked around it. at all the people who were struggling in my life. And I thought, my gosh, they're struggling probably for the same reason. And so I started talking to people and they were like, wow, you're really good at this. And I just kept talking to people and I started studying and I actually flew back twice to see this ex Navy SEAL take another group of four people, eight people total through the process. And I was like, my God, I've never been so like excited about a topic in my life. I actually took my favorite course at Virginia Tech and undergrad was psychology. But guess what? I walked out and I was like, well, you can't make any money in this. So I'm out. So anyway, it wasn't about, was, it was, I got back to work and I was just like, this is not why God put me on this planet to, to, to flip houses. He put me here to help people, eliminate these hidden limiting beliefs that are causing them to have businesses that are all over the place and have shitty marriages and have addictions and depression, anxiety. And so that's what I started doing. And man, I haven't looked back like it's been, it's been the most fulfilling and rewarding thing. I've never found anything. If you can see my bookshelf is filled with books. Like if you told me to go read a real estate book for four hours, I'd be like, no chance. I could go read books on psychology and trauma in the mind, literally eight hours a day, put me on a beach with a nice umbrella and some water. I could read books eight hours a day for the rest of my life. So I have found like this amazing thing that I'm passionate about. But the beautiful thing is It helps people immensely. And I found this process that in like three to five hours, people have these massive transformations. Craig Fuhr (07:12) Well, there is something biblical about serving others, I think. So I can't say that I'm surprised to hear it. I think I've always seen that in you. I met you for lunch right after that meeting in Park City. And I really saw like a different guy. It's no joke. I mean, you were obviously deeply affected by it. I didn't dream that you would go on to dive so deeply into it. But Can you explain to folks how, one, the business changed because you're obviously still running the ship at Express at the time. How did it slowly change for you with these newfound revelations? BradChandler.com (07:56) So $9 million worth of business mistakes were made between 2005 and 2017. And I can trace every single one of them back to these underlying limiting beliefs of not being enough. So that changed. There hasn't been one wild goose chase that I've sent us on the last three and a half years. We haven't gotten into any major, you know, snafus or anything like that, that were my cause. So just more methodical, way less chaos. mean, so many years, we'd make a million or $2 million, and then we'd lose a million dollars. And I come back from these masterminds. And I'd look at all the people who had made more money than me. And I'm like, what's wrong with me? I'm so dumb. So I come back and I say, to my staff, we got to do these 26 things. And then they try to do these 26 things. And then two weeks later, I'd be asking them to do another 26 things. So in terms of the business changing, even the culture, like my, my culture of myself has changed. So it's not about hiring people to go make a gazillion dollars. So you know, I can go buy a private jet. It's just my focus now in life is making an impact. How can I impact people in a positive way? So everything I look Craig Fuhr (09:04) How did that start around the office though? Because I feel like that's gonna be the first people that you focus on, right? BradChandler.com (09:07) So. Yeah, so I started working with some of the folks. So I'm one of the testimonials is actually one of our VA's who had like, she had massive migraines. She was sleeping two or three hours a night. She had a terrible relationship with her life partner and her and her son. And in like three hours worth of work, she now will she sleeps eight hours a night. She doesn't have migraines anymore. Anxiety has dropped off a cliff in a good way. So yeah, I started working with the people I started attracting a different type of person. you know, someone actually came in, he didn't work out, but he actually saw me on a podcast. He was like, I want to work for this guy. I want to work for someone like this. So I started attracting different people and just got more clear on why I was here and I wanted a business that was going to serve me. And I continue to do it. Like everything's not perfect. You guys know that in business, but you know, we're taking another big step here in the next few weeks of getting even deeper into systems and processes and people. to try to further hone things so that the business can truly run without me and my partner so that I can focus on the things that I was put here to do. Craig Fuhr (10:15) Jack, you started in this business pretty young. 27 when you came to Dominion? Is that right? 23, even younger. And you're not 23 anymore. How old are you now, Jack? Jack BeVier (10:22) 23. Mm-hmm. 41. Craig Fuhr (10:32) 41. You're getting the be old jack. So got all the hair though. And over the last several years, the the the amount of hiring that you and Fred have done to equip the business is is pretty staggering. How many employees are we up to now? BradChandler.com (10:37) Yeah. Jack BeVier (10:50) Like 225. Craig Fuhr (10:52) So 225 and maybe when I was here in 2015, 16, what was there like 30, 30 like something like, and so one of the things that I think is, is pretty endearing about you, Jack, is that I think you feel a real responsibility to, you know, make a company that where people can earn a living and support their families and things like that. And I know that you guys have dove and you know, taken a deep dive into the cultural index, making sure that Jack BeVier (10:58) Yeah. Craig Fuhr (11:20) that the person in the seat is the right fit for the position. so, you know, the question is, how much of that to you is how important is that to you, Jack, that that the culture of the company fits the vision that you and Fred have for it. Jack BeVier (11:39) think it's this, well, it's, it's a extremely difficult challenge. as the business grows, because, we take it very personally, right? Like, cause we were, we were the business at, at, you know, back in the day. And so it's like an extension of ourselves, right? and the thing that I, I got lucky in that I found a great partner. who was really my mentor from a very young age and taught me the business and then gave me an environment that I could go exercise. Like what was fun to me, which for me, it was always building the business and having like, it's been my creative outlet, right? Like I have an idea of an analytical mind. So I have an idea and I have a place where I can go in the morning and go see if this idea works. And fortunately we've had an environment where I've been able to have enough rope to go try those things. And sometimes they fail and sometimes they succeed and you own it. and that's been a, you know, a lot of fun for me. So that's like the reason I keep coming back to work. and the, as we've grown the business, it's been very different. It's been what I found is as we've scaled, it's less about real estate and more about the people. Right. now at this point, it's really all about the people. Like my job is no longer real estate or finance. It's about culture creation. And steering a, you know, a large ship and having responsibility for 225 families, which, know, we, carry a lot of weight on our shoulders. we, you that idea. but, anyway, yeah. So that that's something that I'm like working on though, cause I didn't, you know, they didn't go to say, you know, that wasn't, that's not something I went to school for. Like, Craig Fuhr (13:14) to work in progress. Jack BeVier (13:20) And so, you know, reading a bunch of business books, I'm super interested in this conversation with Brad. was excited to have them on because, you know, these, these issues are the ones that are, you know, you know, employee happiness and having a safe place where people can, you know, want to come to work. At scale. If you have the opposite, if you have the opposite of that and you have these negative things at scale, that's just like it's drama. Those things are cancerous. they lead to, they lead to the business failing. Craig Fuhr (13:45) toxic. Jack BeVier (13:48) Right? Like those, you you can, founders can, can, can plaster over those issues at small scale as your business grows. That's literally impossible. Right? Like if those issues exist, if those cancers exist within the organization, there's no, there's no amount of cult of personality that can overcome that at scale. So I've tried to become more and more sensitive and attuned to those things. And, BradChandler.com (13:50) Okay. Jack BeVier (14:18) It's a skill for sure. And one that I'm still working on definitely. Craig Fuhr (14:23) So Brad, go ahead. BradChandler.com (14:25) Yeah, so was gonna say out of 225 employees, I promise you, you have people with addiction issues, you have people in shitty marriages that are fighting at night up late, you've got employees with behavioral problems, anxiety, you've gotten pleased with depression, anxiety themselves. And here's kind of like the most important thing, I think I'll say this entire episode. This is like the key kind of the key to life and happiness is every single negative behavior that a human being has. And we just listed some of them. could spend hours listing them, but just, you know, anxiety, depression, working too much, addiction to porn, shopping, drinking too much, whatever it is, all those negative things that we can't control eating too much is actually your brain's perceived solution to something over here that it thinks is actually worse and more painful because that's what your subconscious mind is supposed to do. It's supposed to move you from pain to pleasure. So what the key, secret is is you find out that's what I did in that Airbnb bedroom. I found out what was this underlying thing that was driving my negative behavior. And when you do the work, what you find out is a sink sitting over here. It's always an untruth. And it was always formed in childhood between the ages of like zero seven, zero to 10. When your brain was like in a hypnotic state. It was an untruth to get you through a stressful time. It actually worked when you were six years old, but it's very destructive at 47 when you're buying a boat, a boat and can't even read a chart and trying to make it to the Bahamas. So what you simply do is you show the brain how it's untrue. Your brain has a mismatch detector. Your brain cannot hold two completely conflicting thoughts. So what you do through this process is called neuroplasticity. You're actually over writing. It's like going into an Excel spreadsheet and going into cell C six and deleting six and putting in 20. You're rewriting the untruth. that's driving the negative behavior. And this can be done in like three to five hours. What do you think happens when you rewrite that untruth? What happens to the negative behavior? It vanishes and it's gone because it now has nothing to drive it. All of my shit, my drinking, my failed marriages were all on this untruth and I'm not enough. So anytime now in my life, it's very infrequent that I have any negative emotion. I go and I ask myself, there's always a thought that creates an emotion. What's the thought that creates emotion that's creating this behavior that I don't like? I'm not enough. I asked myself, is that the truth? No, that's an untruth. So why am I going to stay in a negative feeling or shut down with my life partner over an emotion over a thought that's not even true? I don't. And I'm out of it. What used to take me days now takes me minutes and sometimes seconds and that's that's what has freed me. Like true liberation is not allowing or having any outside force, a person or situation negatively affect you. Really? I don't let anything negatively affect me. And if it does, it affects me for like 30 seconds, two minutes, a half an hour, not four or five days like it used to. Craig Fuhr (17:32) So Brad, talk about Limitless U, why, when you started it, and tell folks what you're doing with it. BradChandler.com (17:39) Yeah, I started shortly after I got back from that weekend in Park City. I mean, within months, I started taking on clients. It's it is a it's a coaching company that uses you know, we go into the subconscious, we use hypnosis. And that's not woo woo. And like, we're gonna have you, you know, chasing chasing animals around on stage, hypnosis. Craig Fuhr (17:58) you've completely lost Jack at this point. mean, just BradChandler.com (18:02) Now, given hypnosis is really just like a meditative state where you can block out the conscious thought and you can go to your subconscious mind because your subconscious mind controls 95 % of your behavior on a daily basis. So when you're coming home and you're angry and you're drinking, you know, six glasses of wine, you're not going to the gym, you're eating a bunch of food. It's not your conscious mind, your subconscious. So we just get into your subconscious mind and we do exactly what I just said, we figure out what is the underlying untruth that's driving the negative behavior. So for me, I went to three decades of therapy, went to 50 different marriage counseling sessions. It was all solved in three hours because most marriage counseling and therapy, they focus on the conscious mind and the symptoms. go deep and we go to the source so that you can, you can find the, can become the limitless you. We're all limitless limitless, but we hold ourselves back. I mean, if I could wave a magic wand, Jack at, at, at dominion and work with, you know, if I could clone myself and work with all two, 224 people, Like no doubt your bottom, like you said, your bottom line profitability would go up substantially because people are fighting with these things. You're going to see at the country club, the trailer park, the con the, the, the U S Senate Congress, like it, it pervades everything. And it's just our way. It's, it's the human brain doing what it should have been doing. I am a five year old kid. Mommy won't give me a cookie. I tell her, I hate her. Mommy cries for two hours. Daddy gets home and spanks me and says, don't you ever make mommy feel that way. That was a client I work with. So what did that little boy, what was the emotional learning in that little boy's head? If I am my authentic self, love will get taken from me. So I can never be my authentic self. So I've got to hide behind a mask like Brad did here for 47 years. I took off that mask. I don't need drugs or alcohol anymore. I used to go to go to parties or go to karaoke or sing and dance. I need a couple drinks, I need to smoke some weed, because I felt so uncomfortable with people judging me. Now I don't need that anymore. I'm free. And you can be you can have the same freedom in your life. You get relationship problems. It's never about the actual relationship. It's relationship you have with yourself. And the only reason you disconnected with yourself is because of that pain as a childhood. That's it. Jack BeVier (20:15) Do you think that, do you wish that you had got become, know, become a psychologist, become a psychiatrist? I mean, it sounds like that's your passion, right? Like that's the, that's the stuff that you want to study. That's what really like gets you going right now. Is it, you know, is it maybe the, you know, that this, that you have, that that's the, you know, if you had, if you had 20 years to wind back, would you have gotten, gotten into that? Or do you think, or do you think that you had to go through this experience to come to this? BradChandler.com (20:39) So I don't. Jack BeVier (20:44) for, know, it wouldn't have been as exciting 20 years ago as it is now after having experienced what you have. BradChandler.com (20:51) I don't, I don't know about the exciting part. I know that I don't have any regrets in life and I won't have any regrets going forward because everything that happens for us happens for a reason. And so there's no good or bad in my life anymore. Getting a flat tire and not being able to go play golf with my buddies is not a bad thing. It just is what it is. I've, I've a coach that says people always talk about leading a meaningful life. want to lead a meaningless life. And what he means by that is why do we suffer so much? These events happen in our lives. And we always have to attach a meaning to them. Why? Because as a kid, when you tell your mom you hate her and she cries for two hours, you have to tell yourself something. You've got to make sense of it. And how do you do it? You attach a meaning. this is happening because I'm a bad boy. Because if it's my problem, I can control it. So nothing bad happens in my life anymore. You'll never see me put on social media, I just had a bad day. Because there's no such thing in my world as bad day. So no, I had to go through, I had to lose $9 million. I had to go through two marriages that didn't work. I just smoke weed for two years, you know, every night of my life, because if I hadn't done that, how could I ever help someone? Now I can relate to these entrepreneurs who are working their ass off because they think that they're providing from their family when all their family really wants is them. They'd rather live in a house half the size and go camping every week in a tent. then have daddy gone in coming home stressed and yelling at mom because she's spending too much money. great question, but no, don't have, I have no regrets in my past and I promise I'll have no regrets going forward. Whatever, whatever happens just happens. Jack BeVier (22:26) So do you think that let me ask a different question. Do you think that like zooming out like really zooming out? Do you think that the computer because capitalism is a competitive environment, right? Real estate's a, you know, a competitive sport. And some of those unhealthy things that drive people still drive people, right? Like the net effect may be an unhealthy, less happy human being, but they are still more driven by those unhealthy things. Do you think like is what, do you think about the balance between running a successful business that is definitionally beating a lot of those super driven people, even if for unhealthy reasons and an inner peace, so to speak, right? Like how can you have both like, or, know, are those things congruent or is the latter just, or I'm sorry, or is the former just not BradChandler.com (23:14) Yeah. Jack BeVier (23:22) your point would you say that the form is just less important than the BradChandler.com (23:27) Yeah, I don't know if your subconscious is saying to you, Hey, maybe I should do this work. But if I do the work, maybe my company is going to fall apart. I get that a lot. have entrepreneurs that are hesitant to work with me of the hundred clients we worked with. One of the folks that had the least success success when it comes to my coaching program was a young man in his 20s who was making millions of dollars. And he's like, I know that I think I'm a piece of shit. He didn't use those exact words. I know that I'm not enough. But if I stop thinking I'm not enough, I'm gonna lose my drive. And I will tell you that I am a living testament to my drive has gone up since I express home buyers is in a better place since I've done this. We as entrepreneurs think that if we can go make five or $10 million, we're gonna get to this place of happiness or worthiness. It's not true. Ask, go ask Michael Jackson and Matthew Perry and Prince. And the list goes on and on Kurt Cobain. The irony is that I can get you to the state that you've always dreamed about that you thought money would bring you. can get you there in five weeks, three or three to five weeks. And when you get there, the chances of you making that money go up because money doesn't bring happiness. Happiness brings money. So to your point, another add on is the Tom Brady's of the world. Jack BeVier (24:20) Yeah, that's not true. BradChandler.com (24:47) I don't believe Tom Brady thinks he's enough. When you win your six or seven Superbowl ring and within two minutes of winning the ring, you are putting out a pre-made video that you probably spent thousands of dollars proving all your naysayers wrong. that's not someone who has a lot of self love. So yes, you can look at it that well, Tom Brady made millions and has six Superbowl rings. Yeah. Tom Brady, think also cheated on his wife and got someone else pregnant, right? So it's, you have your cake and eat it too? 100 % you can have your cake and eat it too. You can be, have a deep connection with yourself and have self love and still run a highly profitable company because you focus on impact. Think about if every day you woke up and you thought, how can I make my employees' lives better? How can I make my borrower's lives and my client's lives better? the money is going to come when you focus on that rather than me. I focused on making the money for the sake of making Brad feel good, which means I hired the wrong people. I made the wrong moves. I got involved in lawsuits and open markets when I shouldn't have been all for the wrong reasons. Craig Fuhr (25:44) I agree. Jack. Jack BeVier (25:57) super interesting. Yeah. I definitely agree that the foot like that, you know, there's a lot of talk in books about, you know, mission and vision and impacts or impact statements, but, it sounds like, you know, it sounds like a lot of fluffy bullshit when you're starting out. At least I definitely felt that way 15 years ago. But as we've grown the organization, it's just that that's definitely, Craig Fuhr (25:58) Yeah. Jack BeVier (26:24) I've come around, I've had no interest in those books 15 years ago and that's like all I read now is because I've got this creative outlet to exercise those things and I see that when we do focus on people and focus on the mission and don't worry about the bottom line, the bottom line ends up taking care of itself. So I do subscribe to that. BradChandler.com (26:44) Yeah, I mean, if you're listening to this, and you're like, huh, I wonder if I have some of these underlying limiting beliefs that are messing up my marriage and my business. I developed a self love quiz actually for the old Brad, because if we were on this podcast five years ago, and you said, Brad, do you love yourself as a hell? Yeah, Craig, I love myself. Do you care what other people think? No, not at all. Do you have high self esteem and confidence? Of course I do. It was all a lie. I didn't. So I literally created this quiz. It only takes three minutes as 12 questions at unlock limitless you.com for such quiz. Take it. because that might start a journey that will change your life in ways that you can't even imagine. Cause people will come to me with one thing, anxiety or racing mind. And when we heal that, we heal everything. Their relationships get better. Their income gets better. They start losing weight all around the same. All of your issues are basically one core issue that started in childhood. And it permeates. If you take that quiz and you lack self love, I promise you every single air of your life is negatively impacted. So if you take it and you're like, wow, my life's pretty good. Your life can get like exponentially better when you learn to like reconnect with yourself and get rid of these limiting beliefs that are driving your behavior. Jack BeVier (27:53) Is this something that you think all people would benefit from or something that you think that certain people would definitely benefit from? Craig Fuhr (27:53) I was, go ahead, Jack. BradChandler.com (28:01) I have come across very few people. I mean, I've talked to a thousand people since in these last three and a half years, not all clients, but just talk. I talk all the time about this. It's all I ever want to talk about. There are very, very few people. mean, like less than 1 % that I come across that I can't tell within five, 10 minutes that they don't have some of this programming from childhood that's affecting them today. It's, from the ladies that don't want to play in pickleball tournaments because they're too nervous to the people who can't gain weight, they're the people who can't lose weight. I mean, it permeates our entire society. Frankly, it's why our prisons are full. It's why our hospitals are full. It's why we have an obesity epidemic. It's why the wars are going on. Hurt people hurt people. No one was born with any of this stuff. No one was born with depression, anxiety, racing mind. It was all learned. But what does Western medicine want to do? They want to diagnose you, label you and put you on a drug. So the short answer is Jack, there are very few people that if they wanted to do the work, wouldn't see substantial profound changes in their lives in all areas. Craig Fuhr (29:04) Right. speaking about sort of the, the baggage that we bring from childhood, I was once, in a session with an empath. she was brilliant by the way, in Bethesda. And, she talked about it as a sort of a subconscious contract that we, that we sometimes make with, with folks in our lives at a very young age at an older brother, three years older, who liked to get into a lot of shit when we were young, Jack, if you can imagine. And, and I found that he was the one who got all the attention, Brad, but he got all the negative attention. And I mean, he sucked it all up, Brad, like he, 100 % of the attention that could be had in the household went to my brother. And so at a very young age, I learned that, I can go out and do the same shit. You know, I can get high at a young age. I can have sex at a young age. I can do all these things, drink at a young age, way younger than I should have. But I was really good at hiding it. He was not good at hiding it. I think he, and so my, this contract that I made with this older brother that like, I'm gonna be just like him. And frankly, if I'm being honest, there's many ways today that I am still very much like him to my regret. And so I think what you said, and Lord knows, Jack, you, me, we've all met many, many people in this industry. Many, many very successful people. who attach a price tag to their happiness. And when they finally reach that price tag, and many of them do, they're nonetheless more happy. In fact, many of them are the least happy people that I've ever met. And so, man, there's an unbelievable gleam in your eyes. There is a glow about you that I don't think I've ever seen in the years that I've known you. And it's so clear that what you're doing at unlocklimitlessyou.com, unlock... LimitlessYou.com is in service to others and I couldn't be more excited for what you're doing right now. BradChandler.com (31:06) Thank you. I want to mention something about your brother. But we also on another note, we have a podcast called how to be happier for entrepreneurs. So if you like this type of content, we're rated in the top 2 % worldwide. So go check it out. got like 100. How to be happier for entrepreneurs. So I know there's a lot of entrepreneurs listening to this. So your brother, I mean, we could do a whole show on this, right? I studied under Craig Fuhr (31:16) Tell them again what the name of it is. She's I didn't I didn't get the waiver before we got on the show today. BradChandler.com (31:31) I studied under a guy named Dr. Gabor Matei and Dr. Gabor Matei says kids only misbehave for one reason and one reason only they lack connection with the parent. When a kid lacks connection with a parent or a kid feels they're not seen heard and understood they take they typically take on one of four roles. And if you're listening to this, think about the roles you took on and your siblings took on the sick one. They're always sick. They have allergies, they have asthma, whatever it is, because guess what, that gets some attention. They're perfect. They're the valedictorian, the star cheerleader, the star running back. The sick one. Actually, I just mentioned that the perfectionist, the sick, the rebel, the rebel, which what your brother was and the care. All they do is take care of other people and they turn into doctors and nurses or they turn into the little old lady with cancer because her whole life, all she's done is serve other people. So it sounded like you took or you were you and your brother took on the role of rebel because guess what? Even though negative attention, it was still attention. Craig Fuhr (32:29) it's still got me attention. BradChandler.com (32:30) And I think you said you had a big family. So if you have a big family, not to say your parents did anything wrong, but that's why he was doing it. So every thing that you suffer with right now in your life, it's not your fault. After hearing this, now it's your responsibility to heal it, but it was, it's not your fault. It's your brain doing its job. So stop beating yourself up and just know there's a path to healing and to stopping that negative behavior. Craig Fuhr (32:57) agreed. I would invite anyone who's listening to the show today who's who this message is really resonating with to check out Brad's website unlock limitless you. It's a great blog that you guys are doing there that you look appears to be constantly updated. So talk about your partner in this. BradChandler.com (33:17) Yeah, my partner is also my life partner, Yvonne. I have been dating her for over two years now and she, her story was interesting. Her childhood, she was like, I didn't have any problems in childhood, but I said you had to because I knew who she married her, her, her ex husband. You don't marry someone who's, who's a disaster if you had a perfect childhood. So her kind of like, she wasn't out. doing all this, she didn't have all the problems I had. What she did though, she worked 25 years at a company that she only expected to work two years at, and she did it to meet the expectations of her mother. So if I don't do this, then mother won't approve me and won't love me. So yeah, we, she also did the same since meeting me, she now realizes this is why she was put here and she just loves it. We talk about this stuff all the time. Craig Fuhr (34:08) Well, quickly, how are things that express now since you've had all of these newfound revelations? Are you guys on track to have one of your better years? Obviously you've got... BradChandler.com (34:19) But so we start we started out like on track to have one of our best years in the last couple months has slowed. I mean, everyone I talked to in almost every industry, industry things have slowed. I think that I think the election this time more than any was really wonky for the nation and probably the world. So Craig Fuhr (34:26) It's slow for everyone. BradChandler.com (34:37) I know we're slated to have a really great month this month. And so I think I'm hopeful things are going to change. mean, going back to the last episode, you know, I think inflation is going to come down. I how can it not come down when energy costs are going to go down because there's going to be more supply. So I'm pretty confident. you know, I was the guy for the last 10 years who kept saying, I'm going to wait to buy in Florida until the market crashes and goes down. And I went to a mastermind, I don't know, last year where I heard a couple of speakers and I don't think it's going to happen. I mean, we might see some softening, but if you look at the supply demand curve and how many new units are coming on, I you guys know this stuff better than I do, but, I think it looks really good. I frankly am thinking about my daughter, 17 years old. She's, she should be a senior in high school, but she's actually taking community college classes. And I don't want the hassle. Cause I get, I don't love real estate. But I know that real estate can build wealth and can build wealth for her. So there's a part of me that's thinking, should I start buying 10 or 15 houses a month or a year and holding them? And I'll let her do all the hard work because I think if we wake up in 10, we're going to wake up in 10 or 20 years and the houses that we think are expensive today, we're to be like, damn, why don't we buy more of those? Craig Fuhr (35:45) Jack smiling, obviously. I was actually asking from sort of a, not really an economic standpoint, but more of a, know, steering the ship standpoint and from, you know, the changes that you've made internally to the steadiness of the ship now at Express, like how that has changed. BradChandler.com (36:11) Yeah, I mean, the chaos. It's just it's night and day difference. mean, I had an exit interview with a gentleman one time and he said, if you don't like what Brad and Judd are doing, just wait a week. Because it was just constant chaos, constant changing. Let's do this. You know, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. That doesn't happen anymore. Like, even now, I'm stepping back in a little bit more because like I said, things slowed. And I'm, I've got like three projects that I'm thinking through. Well before I would have just come in and been like you do this, this, this, and this. And I'm like, no, you know what I want you to do? I told someone already. I want you to make a plan and tell me to execute this. Where is it going to take people and what is the negative effect that it's going to create? So again, I don't need to go make a gazillion dollars anymore. So I'm looking at all. I really want the business to do. is to continue to serve a nice income from me without me working. then I want to get my partner out of it too, because he wants to do other things and the company becomes more more valuable as the owners don't have to be there, the founders don't have to be there. that's kind of like how I look at things now is I don't need to go change the world. I just want to create a business that serves our clients and our employees and our investors. Craig Fuhr (37:23) Yeah. Jax, how does that sit with you? If the founders step out of the business. Jack BeVier (37:28) Do you? Yeah. So I agree with that. It's a, I find it a bit contrary to our personalities to like, you know, we've, we've gotten the various points, gotten the company to a place where it was like, it was cool. It was drama, you know, it was drama free. Everything's running smoothly. and then, and if we just go learn to play golf, everything will be fine. And But I guess like one of the reasons that we're in business is that we like enjoy the growth process. We enjoy the, you know, pivoting for market challenges and taking advantage of opportunities. And that necessarily requires change and necessarily requires active leadership in, my experience. Like, do you, what's your thought on that? Like, do you think that, do you think that I'm just sick for wanting to grow the business and I should, I just need to like chill out. and I'd be happier if we didn't try to grow the business or you know like how do I merge those two ideas right like BradChandler.com (38:33) So, so you guys should both take myself love quiz because I think it'll tell you a lot. And then on the resources tab of our website, we have this exercise called seven levels, getting to the, getting to the root. You literally tonight or this weekend with your wife should do the exercise of what am I looking for in my business and whatever it is, I want to grow to be another blah, blah, blah. And then ask yourself why. And then whatever that answer is, ask yourself seven levels deep. And if you don't have tears at the end and something went wrong. I don't know the answer. There's no right or wrong, Jack, but your I know for sure that your subconscious mind is driving your behavior right now and it's driving your behavior tomorrow and the next day. I don't know what your subconscious mind is saying. I don't know what your childhood was like. Could there be a part that your tell your conscious mind is telling yourself you really enjoy it, but really you'd enjoy spending way more time with your I don't know how many kids you have, but I know you have at least one child. What would you would you be more fulfilled spending, you know, time with your wife and kid on a vacation or traveling? I don't know. Like you have you have to do the do the work, but there's no right or wrong answer. But with awareness becomes clarity and with awareness. All change begins with awareness, right? I don't know where you are. You take the self love quiz. If you score extreme self love. Craig Fuhr (39:31) No child. BradChandler.com (39:52) I'd be way more inclined to be like, yeah, you probably really do love this business. If you scored lack of self love, I'd be like, dude, you're, you're probably out there trying to prove something and you'll never get to the place where it's going to be where you want. Jack BeVier (40:06) How do you think about like, personality versus like nature versus nurture with respect to people like, you know, basis of people's actions, like how much is driven by like, like how much a personality and is or how much of behavior is personality versus how much of behavior is, you know, learn learned behaviors based off of the stuff that happened during childhood? How do you think about that? BradChandler.com (40:29) 98 98 % is environment. So Craig was giving a tough time or he was joking with you earlier about not being touchy feely. And I hear that a lot. Well, my husband isn't very touchy feely. And I go bullshit. Your husband was born touchy feely. But something happened in those first seven to 10 years. What child doesn't go up to another child and hug or touch the child? Why isn't someone touchy feely? Why don't they like to be touched? Something happened. That's not natural. So I think 98 % of our lives, I know it, it's not me, it's science is all of the programming happens in the first seven years because your brain is in a theta wave brain state. That's the same state that you get to when you get into hypnosis. So everything that's happening around you, you are soaking it up like a sponge. So if your parents are never there, if they're fighting all the time, if you're poor and you're afraid that you're going to run out of money, if you're seeing your mom abuse your dad, all of these things, you're soaking up and it's, literally imprinting in your brain and it's causing you to, to live a certain way the rest of your life until you decide I'm ready to change. want something different. Jack BeVier (41:36) about like kids like kids who grew up in the same household, but like have very different personalities manifest later in life, or you would say that that's the that's explained by the differences in treatment based on like from different parents. BradChandler.com (41:54) Yes, yes and no. mean, I don't know. Think about how different maybe maybe yours weren't Craig, you had a lot of brothers and sisters. I mean, parents change a lot. If there's a 10 year age difference between the kids, my gosh, like parents really change. So that could be it. The other thing is, is it all trauma? And there's little t trauma and big t trauma. Big t trauma is you know, you're molested, you're locked in a cage, little t trauma is your sister comes home from the hospital from being born. and you think that your parents love her more than they love you. whatever, in my household, well, that probably wouldn't be fair to share my intimate story with my sisters, but let me tell you that the trauma, they have their own issues that are completely different from mine. It just affects them differently. They internalize it differently. Craig Fuhr (42:41) the actions that come out because of it are different or yeah. BradChandler.com (42:44) Yeah, so I'm hard charging, you know, I want to make a ton of money. Another sibling is even though I'm really smart and went to the top schools, I don't make any money because like I'm a victim and I don't deserve I don't know what it is. I don't deserve it. So it just affects people so differently. But it's hardly ever that you escape it without being affected. Craig Fuhr (43:04) Brad, fascinating. This has been a very different episode for us and I can't thank you enough for your time. Really so enjoyable. Always love always love talking with you. How do folks get in touch with you if they want to learn more and they want to get some coaching? BradChandler.com (43:21) Yeah, appreciate the kind words guys. This is life changing stuff. you can, these guys can lend you all the money in the world to get as rich as you want. But what's the point of being rich if your kids have addiction problems and your wife hates you and she wants a divorce or you're cheating on her, you know, what, what's the point or you're sick or you're 60 pounds overweight. You're going to get to a point in your life. Hopefully it's not minutes before your death that you're going to realize what I'm saying is true. Like what's really important. are the connections in your life and the impact that you make in this world. That's it. When you're laying on your deathbed, you're not going to think about how many houses you bought. You're going to be like, how much time did I spend with the people I love and how they influence them? So if I, I just want to encourage you that no matter where you are and how much you're suffering, you're probably way closer than you think. And whether you reach out to me or not, it's not going to affect me in any way. I just want you to know that whatever you're going through, it's not your fault and it can be healed and it can be healed way faster than you ever think. So You can reach me at unlock limitless you.com forward slash Brad, my cell phones there, the podcast is there, the self love because is there all my social media channels. If you're struggling, no strings attached, pick up the phone and call me. Hey, I'm in a really bad spot or I know a friend who's suicidal, whatever I can do to help. I'm here to help you. Craig Fuhr (44:32) Love that. Let's have lunch soon, I'll actually make the trip down to Northern Virginia as much as I hate traveling to Northern Virginia. So great to have you, bro. Seriously, thank you. Thank you for your time. Jack. Any last thoughts? BradChandler.com (44:35) Sounds great. Thank you, gentlemen. That'd be awesome. Jack BeVier (44:47) No, thanks so much, man. It's really a lot of good stuff to think about. it's, know, it's great to, it's important to continue to have perspective and not get lost in your business. So you don't, like you said, don't end up, know, just unhappier when you get to the end of the journey. So, now I really appreciate you bringing up these ideas. BradChandler.com (45:04) Thank you. Craig Fuhr (45:05) unlock limitless you thank you Brad Chandler for for what you're doing and thanks for the time man really appreciate it. That's real and rest of radio hope you guys enjoyed this one. Give us your thoughts really look forward to hearing from everyone and we'll try to reply to everyone so thanks for tuning in and we'll see you on the next one. BradChandler.com (45:12) Thanks.