Latest / The Happiness in Retirement® Hour / The Five Pillars of Happiness in Retirement
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- # Swell AI Transcript: riverside_bill_— take 03 _ mar 09, 2026 001_hir_podcast studio.wav SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Happiness in Retirement podcast, where we help you turn your retirement dreams into reality. Each week, we'll dive into smart financial strategies, lifestyle tips, and expert insights to help you build a fulfilling and secure retirement. Whether you're planning ahead or already enjoying retirement, this is your go-to place for inspiration and practical advice. So sit back, relax, and let's make your golden years the best years. All information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but its accuracy is not guaranteed. There is no representation or warranty as to the current accuracy, reliability, or completeness of, nor liability for, decisions based on such information, and it should not be relied on as such. SPEAKER_01: Hello, folks. Welcome to this episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program podcast. I'm Bill Del-Sette, certified financial planner, registered light planner, and creator of this podcast because the road to retirement should be an adventure, not a survival strategy. Thank you for joining me today. And if you like this podcast, please tell your friends and family members, subscribe, reach out to me, send me an email, bill at happiness and retirement.com. I want to start today's podcast by telling you a story. You see, early in my career as a financial advisor, I believe what most advisors believe. I believe that my job was to help people accumulate enough money so they wouldn't run out in retirement. Graduated from Albany State University, degree in accounting, degree in economics, passed a CPA exam, very much an analytical numbers centered guy. So I built plans. I calculated withdrawal rates. I analyzed portfolios. And in most cases, the numbers looked really good. You see, my clients had done everything right. They saved diligently. They had strong portfolios. They were financially independent. But something interesting over the course of time began to happen. And a few years after retirement, maybe, some of these same clients would come back to me. And in a review meeting, they might say something like, you know, I thought retirement would feel different, or I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing now. We had solved the financial problem, but they were still trying to solve a life problem. And that was a big turning point for me because I realized something important. Retirement is not just a financial transition. It's a huge life transition. When people retire, they don't just leave their jobs, they often lose structure. Where's the routine anymore? You no longer have to get up at 6 a.m. What about identity? For most people, their work provides this tremendous sense of identity, who they are. What about social interaction? That goes out the door. Typically, chatting with your coworkers and things like that, the friendships you build over the years of working. And most importantly, I think, is a sense of purpose. Who doesn't derive a sense of purpose and meaning from their work, no matter what they do? And suddenly, people are asking a question that financial spreadsheets can't answer. What do I want the rest of my life to look like now? Very, very important question. The realization led me to begin studying research in psychology and well-being. And today I want to talk to you about something that may surprise you. Maybe not if you listen to this podcast, but most people think retirement planning is just about money. Now it's important, but after working with retirees for many years, I've learned something else. The biggest challenges people often face in retirement are not financial because the people that work with financial planners have probably done a good job saving and investing and protecting their wealth, et cetera. The problems are personal. So today we're going to explore why retirement planning is really about using your money to design a life. It's not just about building a portfolio per se. So there's this retirement myth, if you will. For decades, retirement planning has revolved around the one question, how much money do I need? It's a reasonable question. It's a great question. People want to know, will I run out of money? Will my savings last? Can I afford the lifestyle that I want? Now, these are all incredibly important questions, but here's the interesting thing. Many people reach financial independence and still feel like there's something missing. You see, they retire, they finally have the freedom they worked toward for 40 years, and then they wake up a few months later wondering, what the heck should I be doing now? Again, they solve that money problem, but they're still trying to solve the life problem. And so there's this retirement identity shift. Work does more than provide income. Again, it provides structure, identity, social connection, and a sense of purpose. All those go out the window when you stop working. And when people retire, they often lose all four at the same time. This creates a massive transition many people really don't anticipate. So instead of asking how much money do I need, they begin asking deeper questions like, who am I now? What gives my life meaning? How do I spend my time now that I'm not on a schedule? And what do I want this next chapter of my life to look like? Again, these are life design questions, not financial questions. You have to have both. You have to have both. You've got to have a sound financial plan and run the numbers and all that stuff. But you also have to design the next chapter of your life. So what actually can you use your money for, created with a financial plan and hard work and sweat equity and all that stuff? What can you use that money for and how can you actually create happiness so you're not adrift in retirement? Research and psychology gives us important clues. And one of the most famous studies on happiness is the Harvard Study of Adult Development. I've referenced it before in other podcasts. Google the Harvard Study of Adult Development. There's a great TED Talk about the Harvard study. And this research has followed people for more than 80 years. I think it's still going on. And the goal of the study was very simple. What makes people live happier, healthier lives? The answer, surprisingly, isn't wealth. Probably not surprising if you know about the studies about the relationship between money and happiness. and how much it actually takes to be happy. And it wasn't career success. The number one indicator of what makes people live happier, healthier lives is relationships. Wow. Strong relationships turns out to be the single base predictor of happiness and well-being. And when researchers look at happiness later in life, five themes consistently appear. We call these the five pillars of happiness and retirement. And here they are. Purpose, relationships, health, time, freedom, and experiences. These are the things that tend to create fulfillment no matter where you are in life, but especially after work ends. Because when you're working, you probably have a sense of purpose. You probably have formed relationships with your coworkers. But those are gone. And what about health, time, freedom, and experiences? Well, you know, hopefully you've been working on them for some time, but let's briefly explore each of these. And let's start with purpose. Human beings need to feel useful. A couple of really good books. First one, Simon Sinek, S-I-N-E-K, Finding Your Why. It's a business book, but has some personal application. One of my all-time favorites, Dr. Frankel. Man's Search for Meaning. He's a psychiatrist, was in the Nazi death camps, lost his family, lost everything. But he came out of it and he wrote this book, Man's Search for Meaning. I think he actually started writing it or was in the process of writing it when he was in the concentration camps. His point is that if you have a strong enough sense of meaning and purpose in your life, you can survive just about anything. Purpose and meaning is so important. Human beings need to feel useful. During working years, careers often provide that sense of contribution. And when retirement begins, you've got to find a new way to create meaning. You have to. It's so important. Otherwise, you're going to flounder. You're not going to be happy. For some people that might be mentoring for others, a lot of our clients volunteer, they teach, they give back, they do creative work. What about a second act? What about forming that business you always dreamed of? A powerful question to ask yourself is, who is going to still need me when I am retired? And how can I design my life so I'm still giving back and I feel like I'm useful? Okay, the next pillar, again, relationships. Time with people you care about becomes increasingly valuable. Now, a lot of studies on this. Again, we mentioned the Harvard study. It also turns out that little social interactions throughout the day matter a lot too. Going to the grocery store and saying hello to the cashier, going to the library, picking up Post-it stamps, those kinds of things that we hardly do anymore in this new world that we live in. We're losing social interactions throughout the course of the day, working remotely. And those things matter a lot in addition to time with family and friends. And what about a sense of community anymore? I don't know who my neighbors are. I met two of my neighbors in the community that I live in here and that's it. I don't know any of the other people. There are no sidewalks in many parts of the United States. People just don't go out and. walk as much anymore. People now go to restaurants to pick up food. They don't even eat in the restaurants. I just read a great article on the percentage of people that actually just go to their favorite restaurant now and pick up their food and leave. They just don't sit down. What about, you know, there was a time when people used to sit down and have dinner together as families. And that kind of stuff is so important. And it's kind of going out the window now. With social media and all of that, there is a loneliness epidemic and it gets very, very unhealthy all the way around. And you've got to be proactive and create more time for the connections in your life and to nurture new ones, because those connections will probably become the most meaningful part of your life. Okay. The next pillar is health. Well, of course, energy is the currency of life and retirement. And without vitality, it becomes harder to enjoy your go-go years, right? That window of time, maybe 10 to 15 years when you retire, when you are healthy enough to travel and enjoy your hobbies and new experiences, what if you can actually create more healthy years, more of the so-called go-go years of retirement, when you have freedom of time and you've got the money and you've got the health, that triangle of freedom, time and health, okay? And when you have those three together, you can enjoy your retirement more and really bend that retirement income smile curve that we talk about so that you have more healthy years in retirement. That's why investing in health may be, in fact, the most important retirement strategy, in addition to nurturing relationships. Okay, the next pillar is time freedom, this idea of time affluence, which you probably didn't have in your working years. And this is one of the greatest gifts of retirement, is control over your time, but you've got to use it wisely. You see, many people in retirement, if they don't have a schedule or a routine anymore, they lose it. Yeah, you may get up at 7 a.m. And before you know it, it's 5 p.m. And what did you accomplish? You know, it's that saying, I don't know how I got anything done when I was working. Right. So the way that you create time affluence in retirement is you get scheduled. In the words of Stephen Covey in the seven habits book, where he talks about If you want to have time affluence, you have to get scheduled. And what he means is you schedule your priorities. Now you've got this time affluence. Whatever matters most to you, get it on your schedule. And you've got that time freedom. Maybe it's going to the gym. It's volunteering. Those things, nurturing relationships, setting aside time to call your family members. or to go out and, you know, maybe have a beer with a friend. This idea of time affluence has to be used wisely. A contrast to this is some people in retirement actually get overscheduled, but they overcommit to things that really aren't important to them, which is maybe the subject of another podcast, so be careful. and schedule the things that matter most to you first. Use that time affluence for things that create health, for things that nurture relationships, and for the next pillar, experiences. Experiences create memories, memories become stories, and stories become the narrative of our lives. Travel, learning, and shared adventures often create more lasting happiness than material possessions. Again, a lot of research on this that Generally speaking, people are better off spending their money on an experience, a vacation, traveling, whatever it may be, as opposed to buying the next shiny thing. Really important experiences. So what about the rule of financial planning in all of this? That's an important question. Now, look, I am a financial planner. I'm a certified financial planner. I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast, my background, very much an analytical guy. But if these five pillars create happiness, where does financial planning fit? Well, financial planning doesn't create happiness directly, but it supports the things that do. You see, you can't have those five pillars of retirement happiness, I think, without a financial plan. You've got to have enough money. You've got to make good financial choices because that's what the money is for. It's to help you have happiness in retirement because money can help create freedom of time. It can create the ability to travel and pursue experiences. It can create the resources to support relationships and family members and the security to protect your health and lifestyle. In other words, money is not the destination. Money is the tool. And when financial planning is done well, it supports the life you want to live. So instead of beginning retirement planning with a question, how much money do I need? Start early on. Ask the question, what kind of a life do I want to live? Design your life. What would your ideal day look like? Who would you spend your time with? What experiences are still ahead of you? And what gives your life meaning? Once those answers become clear, financial planning becomes much more powerful because now the plan supports a life by design. And that is the real goal of retirement planning, not just financial independence, but a life filled with purpose, relationships, health, freedom, and experiences. That is what we call happiness in retirement. So here are some exercises that I want to leave you with. as we wrap up the podcast. So the first exercise, I want you to imagine your life three years from today. We get into a time machine and we're three years into the future. What has to happen for you to feel good about that, about your life? If everything had gone perfectly, what would your life look like three years from today? Okay, question number one, you get into the time machine, three years have gone by, and you're sitting having a review appointment with me. What has to happen for you to feel really good about your life in those three years? Really great power question. Question number two has to do with your purpose. What activities make you feel useful? or fulfilled? What activities make you feel useful or fulfilled? And who benefits or who can benefit from your wisdom and or years of experience? Oh, great question. How can you help? Giving back, finding a sense of purpose and meaning. OK, third exercise has to do with relationships. Who are the five people you most want to spend time with? Write them down. Five people you most want to spend time with and then proactively reach out to them, have a barbecue once a month with the family, go out to dinner with your buddy, go to a game with your kids, whatever it may be. And another power question related to this relationship question. Again, thank you, Stephen Covey, 7 Habits. What's one thing that you're not doing now that if you did it consistently, would have an amazing impact on the quality of your relationships. I'll say it again. What's one thing that you're not doing now that you know if you did it consistently would have an amazing impact on the quality of your relationships? Whatever your answer to that question is, get it scheduled. Maybe it's just scheduling time to talk with mom and dad. Maybe it's scheduling a family outing once a month. Whatever it is, schedule the time. Okay, next exercise has to do with health and vitality. Very simple question, but what habits today support the energy you want for the next? 20 years, what can you do to bend that retirement income smile and create more health span in your lifespan, create more healthy years in your life? And I'm going to go back to that Stephen Covey question one more time. What's one thing that you're not doing now regarding your health that if you did it consistently you know would have an amazing impact on your health? What's the one thing you're not doing now that if you did it consistently would have an amazing impact on your health? Think about it. Write it down and then get it scheduled. Maybe it's go to a gym three days a week. Maybe it's go for a walk every morning. Maybe it's 10,000 steps a day. Whatever it is, do it. Get it scheduled. You've got time affluence now. Use that time to nurture relationships and to work on your health. And speaking of time freedom, the next exercise, describe your perfect weekday in retirement from beginning to end. What time would you get up? What would you be doing? Would you have breakfast? Would you go out to a diner and have breakfast? Would you go for a walk in the morning? What about the afternoon? What would you be doing then? Maybe working on your purpose? And what about evening time? How would you spend your time? Describe and write down your perfect weekday in retirement. Okay. The next question to ask yourself is what experiences are still on your life list? Now I'm going to go back to a life planning question. If you found out that you had one day left to live, what would you regret not having done? You go to see your doctor and, sorry, you've got one day left. What are you going to regret not having done? Well, get those experiences on your calendar now. If they're going to matter that much then, then they certainly should matter now. Okay, one more exercise here, and we're going to create a happiness scorecard. I want you to rate each of these areas from 1 to 10 in your life. 1 being the worst, 10 being the best it can be. and we want to look at each of these five pillars of happiness in retirement. Number one is purpose. On a scale of one to 10, do you feel like you have so much purpose in your life it's perfectly clear to you? Or is it a one where you really don't have a clue what you're gonna do in retirement to find meaning and purpose? What about relationships? How are your relationships? Are they dynamite? Are they a 10? Every relationship is just, oh, it's great, very happy with your relationships, or maybe they're nonexistent. Maybe you're like a lot of folks where outside of work, you really don't have any strong relationships anymore. That's very common. So rank yourself from one to 10 there on relationships. Okay, what about health? Is it a 10? Do you have a 55 resting heart rate? You know, a 15% body fat percentage and go to the gym seven days a week or Maybe it's a one, I don't know. Maybe you're like me, I have a sweet tooth. I eat way too many donuts and pastries and things. You know, so health, where are you on the health scale, do you think? And what about time freedom on a scale of one to 10? Do you have total autonomy? where you could schedule in the things that matter most to you on your schedule? Or is your time taken up with things that matter to other people, not necessarily to you? Do you not have any time autonomy and time affluence? One to 10, where do you stand? And finally, where do you stand on the experiences in your life? Is it a 10? Are you experiencing everything in your life that you want to experience or is it a one? You're not experiencing any of those things. So rank yourself one to 10 on each of those purpose, relationships, health, time, freedom, or time, affluence, and experiences. One being the worst, 10 being the best. And then think about which one area of these five, if improved, would most increase your happiness? Again, which one area, purpose, relationships, health, time, freedom, or experiences, if improved, would most increase your happiness? That's where you should start your focus and get time scheduled to work on whatever it may be for you. If it's your health, maybe it's schedule that morning walk. If it's relationships, maybe it's schedule time to reach out to people that matter to you, whatever it may be. Well, we're at the end of the podcast and I just want to say thank you again for listening. It's really matters a lot to me and gives my life purpose that you are listening to this podcast. And if you are a client of Del Ceti Capital Management on behalf of me and the team, we certainly are glad you are, you know, we appreciate your trust and confidence in both the realm of the financial planning work that we do, but also now in this life planning. that we are doing for clients. So thanks again for tuning in. If you like the podcast, please hit subscribe. Please refer us to friends or family members who might like the podcast and I will see you next week. Bye bye everyone. SPEAKER_00: Del Ceti Capital Management, LLC. Del Ceti is a registered investment advisor. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Del Ceti and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. For additional information, please visit our website at www.happinessinretirement.com. That's it for today's episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program podcast. We hope you found some valuable insights to help you create the retirement you deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who's planning for their future. For more tips and resources, visit happinessinretirement.com or the Del Ceti Capital Management Facebook page. Until next time, here's to a happy, healthy, and financially secure retirement.