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FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF · The Karen Kenney Show

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Unknown: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey you guys. Welcome to
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the Karen Kenney show. I'm super duper excited to be here with
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you today, and today, I think I'm going to call this episode.
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Find out for yourself. Find out for yourself. And if you've been
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around for a while, then you already, you already know that
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I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of Fafa right. Fuck around,
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fuck around and find out. I really love to find things out
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for myself. I don't like to just take other people's words for
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things. Although I will say this, right, I'm already off on
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a tangent. I And we're back. I will say this. I do love reading
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a good testimonial. But still, even still, I have to find
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things out for myself. I don't even like to like if people will
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say to me, Well, what do you think about going to this place?
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I'm like, I haven't been there yet myself. I cannot give you my
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own real deal, Holyfield, True Blue, firsthand experience. I
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don't like to refer to things. I don't like to make
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recommendations, until I have found out for myself. Now these
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days, given that we have, oh, my god, the internet and AI and
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social media, I'm just like dragging my fingers across my
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face, just like stretching it out, like, oh God, right, with
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all of this stuff, it's so easy, I think to be cynical. I think
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it's so easy to think of worst, the worst of people. Now
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sometimes they are showing us the worst of themselves, so they
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make it kind of hard to not be cynical, but it is so easy to be
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cynical. It is so easy to other people. It is so easy to think
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of worse to people. It is so easy to be swayed by other
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people's opinions and feelings and stories and examples and
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whatever, right? But I think it's so important that rather
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than taking everybody else's words as the gospel truth, that
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that we find some shit out for ourselves. I'm a really big fan
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of finding out for yourself, because I think that our own
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personal experiences are how we must, how we must navigate the
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world right, finding out what's true for us, finding out what
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resonates with us, finding out what lands for us. And this can
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get a little tricky in family dynamics, because, and I'll just
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give you one example, this isn't what the show is about, but I
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will, because I know somebody's probably going to think this.
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It's like, there's this weird thing that happens in New
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England families. Or we could say New England families, or
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mass hole families, or whatever. Or some people might even say
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Italian families, whatever families fill in the blank, like
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there's this code of loyalty where they're like, if I don't
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like somebody or something, you automatically have to not like
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them or that thing too. And I just think that's a way of
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making your world very small. And a lot of times we have to
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take into consideration,
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right? Who has the opinion, who's telling the story, what
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lens, what point of view, what whatever, what's their trauma,
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tragedy, drama, you know, where they come from, things. So I
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just think it is so important that we find things out for
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ourselves, with the caveat, of course, that we don't put
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ourselves in danger to find shit out. You know what I mean? Okay,
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so I think it is like, I think, like, go try some things. Go
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experience some things. Go talk to some people. Go read some
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books, do your own research, find out for yourself, because
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for better or for worse, at least, you're going to know what
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you think, what you feel, what your own experience has been. I
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think we give way too much of our own power away to the so
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called experts, to the so called influences to, you know, to
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whatever. And yes, there are people out there who have been
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doing things a really long time, and I might even do a whole show
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on this. You know, there are times when people say to me,
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Well, I've been doing this for like, 25 years, and I'm like,
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Yeah, but if you've been doing it wrong or fucked up for 25
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years, like that doesn't impress me. Time doesn't impress me all
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the time. It's like, what is your depth and level? And can
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you apply this to more than just this one thing, meaning, so
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often I'm like, I'm like, a lot of times people can only teach
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other people exactly like them, and I'm like, but can you apply
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even like this to say, in a yoga class? But can you meet all the
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different people who are in front of you? You know what I'm
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saying? And sometimes, yes, of course, there will have to be a
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specialty class because of physical limitations or
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whatever, certain situations. But for the most part, you guys,
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what I'm saying is like, find out for yourself, and let me
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give you some experiences that I've had. And.
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I think this is so important naturally. I think I kind of
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come to this wanting to find out for myself for a lot of
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different reasons, but one of them, which is kind of come to
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my attention more recently in the past, maybe I don't know
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what's it been? What year are we in? Like eight years? So I
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don't, I don't. I am not an expert in, like, human design. I
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know a teeny tiny bit, but one of my friends Meg Haynes, some
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of you might know her as Meg marinaccio, but Meg Haynes
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meghanez.com you can go check her out. She knows a lot about
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human design, and one of the things she told me about my
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human design chat, in my human design, of like, how I how I
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kind of show up in the world is I have what's called a line
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three, right? And I hope you get curious about, like, what your
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chat, what, what it might reveal to you, whether you believe in
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this stuff or not, you don't have to drink the Kool Aid and
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start running your life based off of what your human design
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chat might reveal. But I do think it's interesting. And I
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think of all these tools of ways of just like, kind of reflecting
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back to us more information about ourselves. And if we're
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curious, we can learn all kinds of things. So I have a line
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three, which is basically called the experimenter, sometimes
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called the Mada, but not the Mada in the way that we think of
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Mada, but it's like the experimenter. So this tells you
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everything, right? So some of the things that are like wicked
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important to me in the way that I move through the world is that
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so many things are about trial and error. I gotta try things
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and find them out, right? So we are often like pioneers. They
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say we're pioneers who test life. We find out what does and
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doesn't work through direct personal experience. That is me
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100%
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I've got to go and meet the person and do the thing and go
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to the event and listen to the pod. I got to find out for
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myself what I think I love to hear what other people think.
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But then I'm like, Hmm, let me go have my own experience. And
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then I can kind of reflect against it and match it, or
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like, go, like, Ooh, that was not my experience at all, right,
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and get curious about it. We often tend to have
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resilience and mastery, meaning, like we face a lot of frequent
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setbacks because we're trying so many things, right? So while we
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might face a lot of frequent setbacks, what it really ends up
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doing is those experience cultivate our own deep wisdom.
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We end up, like, taking our failures, and we kind of turn
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them into practical data. Like, oh, this is what I learned. This
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is what I discovered. And I really love that, even with
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teachers and people that I really, really respect, or books
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that I've read that have been like life altering, I'm like,
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Yeah, I've got to now go practice this. I've got to now
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put this in to practical, everyday applications, like down
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to earth, spiritual applications, or whatever, to
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find out if this is something that is for me, something that I
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personally will find useful, right? So I end up with with a
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lot of resiliency, because I get knocked on my ass a lot, but
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then I learned from it, or I try to learn from it, not try to
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learn from it, do my best.
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We also end up having what they call authenticity, because we
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tend to connect with others through our genuine, often
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humorous and humbling life stories and field failed
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experiments, right? So we can say, oh, yeah, I tried that one
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time. Let me tell you what happened. And that's exactly
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what I'm doing today on this podcast is I'm going to share
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with you an experiment. I just did a situation, or like,
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several situations that I just experienced. And it's a little
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it's good storytelling, but it's also like meaning, like, I hope
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you're going to find something in it that will be helpful,
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using story to explain some things. But often my loss is
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your game, because I go out and try something first, and then I
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report back. And I love to be steadfast. I love to be
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resolute. I love to make my full report on things. And we also
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tend to be what they call we have the messy path. So line
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threes, we are meant it says, I'm reading this one directly.
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It says line threes are meant to break old bonds, habits or
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projects that no longer work to foster progress and evolution.
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Amen, double. Amen. Hands to that. I am all about that. Yeah,
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they say this is how it's always been. They say this is how the
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system is. And I'm not really into systems that don't actually
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work. I'm not into systems that are press I'm not into systems
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that are not inclusive. I'm not really into systems that tear
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other people down, or paint pictures about other groups of
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people or whatever that aren't true, that are just full
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bullshit and like I said, right now in the world, but the
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political divide and the divisiveness and the hatred and
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all the stuff that gets spewed online between the left and the
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right and the conservatives and the liberals and this and that,
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right? I'm always just like, hey, look, I gotta go find out
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for myself and the experiment that I just recently did, which
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I'm gonna tell you about right now, but before I do so, like, I
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tried something recently, I'm gonna share with you what I
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discovered, but what also kind of prompted this podcast today,
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kind of putting all the pieces together.
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Yeah, is a quote from Jonathan Franzen. Jonathan Franzen is a
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famous author. He's no longer with us, and he wrote a book
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called father away. And this was this quote, and I mentioned it
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before on another episode, but it stays with me. I love this
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quote. He says this. He says, When you stay in your room and
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rage and sneer or shrug your shoulders, as I did for many
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years, the world and its problems are impossibly
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daunting,
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but when you go out and put yourself in real relation to
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real people or even just real animals, there's a very real
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danger that you might end up loving some of them, and who
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knows what might happen to you then.
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So today, I'm going to tell you what happened to me when I went
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out and put myself in real relation to real people, but in
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a different way. Because, of course, we do that all the time,
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right? If you have a sweetie, if you have friends, if you have
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family members, but I went out and, I mean, I went out, but,
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like, people kind of came to me, and you'll see what I'm talking
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about in a minute. Okay, story time. Buckle up for safety.
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Okay, so you, like me, might have been a kid that grew up
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around like, flea markets and Yad sales, garage sales, all
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that stuff. My grandmother Kenney was kind of a notorious
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yard sale up. But when you grow up, kind of broke, when you grew
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up, kind of like first world poor, right? Trying to find
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things on the cheap. Like, I remember we were, like the kids
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of like, the hand me down clothes we would get, like,
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bags, garbage bags, big, brown, hefty bags, or green, those old,
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those green bags, right? The dark green bags with other
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people shit in it, people's kids who had outgrown stuff. It would
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come to, like our house, and we'd pick through it, and I
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remember, like, going through stuff and finding stuff, and,
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you know? So we were like, those kids, right? We did a lot of
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yard sales and all that stuff. But nowadays they have, like,
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online things. So there's like, Etsy and Poshmark, and like the
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marketplace and Craigslist. There's even like online garage
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sales and online like groups where you can like post shit
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that you have for sale. And there's even like swap like swap
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meets and stuff like that. So it's really kind of cool. So I
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was like, I want to sell some things. I was like, some of the
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things were, like, dumbbells and stuff like that. Because I was
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getting new ones, I was replacing my old cast iron ones.
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I wanted to get rubber plated ones. Blah, blah, blah. So I
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have these different things, like items in my house that I
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like I wanted to sell. Now, the cool thing for me is that I tend
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to keep everything, like, if I buy something new, I always keep
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the paperwork for that thing. It could literally be like a noise
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machine or a humidifier or a little whatever the fuck I keep
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everything because I don't know. I like to always know, like, if
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it breaks, how do I fix it? Is there a warranty on this thing?
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It had never occurred to me that it would come in handy years
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later when I want to sell something, or months later, or
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whatever. But I do so I have, like, a system, of course I do,
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if you know me, of course I do. So I wanted to sell some things
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online, and I had never done it before. So I reached out to
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somebody I know who was really good at selling stuff, and I
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asked them. I was like, so okay, I want to do this thing. I want
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to do this experiment. I want to find out for myself, like, what
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this thing is like, and how do it? And so they had told me
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about what they have done, and then they started to describe
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their experiences. And I got to tell you, it wasn't like a super
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positive one. It was like, the thing that I consistently heard
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from people is this, get used to just accept the fact that people
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are going to be flakes. I heard that all the time, people are
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going to set appointments and then not show up. People aren't
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going to meet you when they say, people are going to be flakes.
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Okay? People are going to low ball you. People are going to
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try to haggle with you. People aren't going to want to pay what
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you're actually asking for. People are always working an
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angle like data. So basically, mostly what I was hearing is
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that you can go ahead and try to do this, but just be prepared
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for a really unsatisfying experience, right? And I was
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like, Huh? I mean, but so many people do it, how, like, is it
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really that bad? And I'm like, I'm gonna go out and find out
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for myself, right? Because this is how I do things. It is, it is
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how I learn, and it's from my own learning, especially as a
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teacher and a mentor and a speaker and a storyteller a
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writer, that I'm like, Oh, I can take these experiences and then
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use them right as somebody who communicates. I'm like, these
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are like, I so I'm going to break down some of the items
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that I sold and some of the experiences that I had, because
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this was me going out into the world. I'm like, I'm not gonna
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sit in my room and in my house and shrug my shoulders and sneer
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and be like, Oh, we're all fucked and everybody sucks, and
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dadada just judging the rest of the world and being cynical. I'm
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like, I want to see this was like, a huge experiment for me,
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and I got to tell you, I was pleasantly surprised. I was.
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Really surprised, especially after all of the stuff that I
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heard, like all the danger Will Robinson and people are going to
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let you down, and people are going to be a drag. Now, I will
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preface it with this. Many people did try to lowball me.
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Many people did try to work an angle. But my approach to this
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was like, I'm not here to play fucking games. I'm gonna list
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these things at the price that I want, that I already think is
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fair. A lot of times I discounted things like 50% from
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what I paid for them, and they some of these things were, like,
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still brand new. So I'm like, I'm not haggling, I'm not
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playing this game. I'm not doing bullshit, right? So that Pat was
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true. Now that is just how it is with yard sales. You mock
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something like, you know, you do a yard sale, you do a garage
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sale, you mark it for a buck. People are like, Well, you take
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50 cents. Will you take? Like, I grew up watching humans in
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action, right? So that didn't bother me so much. That part I
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expected. But like, the flakiness and all these other
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things, like the weirdos that are gonna, like, be careful,
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like, meet in a public plays like all the information that I
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got, okay, so one of the common threads that I found that I
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thought was so fascinating is that number one, and I kind of
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know this Pat about people, but people really love to be seen
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and heard and to be asked questions about themselves. I
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already know this as somebody who interviews people, as
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somebody who communicates with people, right? And it works out
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because I'm wicked curious by nature, so I love to learn about
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people and talk about people, but it's amazing how much
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information a person will give you about themselves within
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moments of meeting them. I think it's a it's a fascinating thing,
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and you can please write to me and tell me if that's also your
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experience. But so I might change some of the slight
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details of the these people, because, you know, I mean, it's
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not like I just, you know, just to be mindful, you know. But
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some of the, some of the details don't really matter, like, I can
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just leave them as they are. But one thing I was selling was, I
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had just bought a weight bench and some plates, right, some
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rubber bump up plates, right? So they were, like, practically
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brand new. And I had a few other items, you know, like a step
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bench, like, you know, to do, like step aerobics or whatever.
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Like, certain things that I had, and this person shows up, and
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they come out of their car and
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and so, like, I'm always like, what are you driving? Data,
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right? And I always do this very safely. I make sure there's
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another person you know, that I don't do this alone, whatever.
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So, you know, person shows up, they come in and as they're
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they're grabbing things as they first step into my house, the
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first thing that they see in my basement, really, is they see
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these huge bookshelves, and one bookshelf has, like, all these
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Stephen King books on them. And they immediately start talking
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to me about Stephen King and Stephen King books and what an
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impact they've had on their life. And I'm like me too, and
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so we have this whole long thing. Then I find out that
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they're a chef, and they're a chef in Portsmouth, and they're
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actually a chef in a building right next door to one of my
18:08
best friends businesses. So we have all these layers of
18:11
connection. And by the end of this conversation, I'm learning
18:15
about they wish that they like they want to write. They want to
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get back to writing. So I'm learning all about this person's
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family, their dreams, their desires, what they do for work,
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who they are, and they're like, you've got to come sometime and
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let me cook you a vegan meal. And it's like, oh my god, like
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that was literally my very first experience. This person showed
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up on time, in fact, writing to me. I'm leaving right now. This
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is my eta, like, whatever. I'm like, great. Like, so
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responsible, so friendly, so cool. And I was like, wow, they
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paid my asking price. They were really friendly. They were
18:53
really amazing. Like, faith in humanity starts to be restored,
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right? Not that I ever lose it, but this these days, it can be a
19:02
little rough out there. You know what I'm saying? It's a little
19:04
tough sometimes to and I always say, This is why I try to focus
19:08
on the good, the beautiful and the holy, right? I tend to see
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the good in people. I tend to see the good in people. And that
19:15
shiny veneer sometimes can be worn down a little bit by what
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we see happening in the world, and what we see, like, you know,
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the comments you read online, the vibe, the energy, the
19:25
attacking, the wars, the hatred, the misogyny, the Epstein files,
19:30
the raping children like you just it can be a lot on the
19:33
psyche, right? It can be a lot on the nervous system. It can be
19:36
a lot on your like, hopefulness, right, for the world. So I was
19:41
like, wow, that was a really good, positive encounter. Like,
19:44
I love it. And I learned that this person is, like, as a chef,
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they're like, you know, my life has been very busy, you know, I
19:49
put on a little bit of weight. I want to, like, get back in
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shape. And I was like, Oh, it made me so happy that my things
19:55
that I was selling was going to be, you know, used for good use.
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I was like, that's awesome.
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Okay, the second person shows up. Now, this is a trip. Now,
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again, the common theme that ran through this for me is that
20:08
everybody, pretty much except for one person, they had to keep
20:12
bumping out their time. But I totally understood, and I had
20:15
the time to give that day, so it wasn't a big deal and but they
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would touch base with me every time, like they'd be like, I'm
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so sorry, dadada. And I'm like, No problem. I'm just working
20:23
from home. Don't worry about it. Blah, blah, blah. But everybody
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like showed up on time. I thought this was amazing. So
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this next person, I was selling a little walking treadmill pad
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that I had. Okay, this person pulls up. Holy shit, you guys. I
20:37
was not prepared for this. I can't believe I haven't told
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this story before yet.
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So this person pulls up, and they pull forward so that I'm
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standing in the basement right, and I can see, like, how do I
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explain this? They're in an SUV of a kind, right? Being vague,
20:56
they're at an SUV of a kind, and they pull forward enough past my
20:59
basement door that I can see that they have installed in
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their back window an electronic sign. And as soon as I see the
21:09
sign in the flashing lights, you know those signs where the the
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message scrolls across it, so like you have to keep reading.
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And I immediately think to myself, Oh, this must be a burst
21:20
business person. This must be a fellow entrepreneur. I wonder
21:23
what their business name is or whatever, right? Because, of
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course, I'm just like, doo, doo. I wonder what this person is. I
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can talk to them about their business, whatever, but this is
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what the sign literally says. Now, this one stopped me in my
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tracks. This one I was not prepared for. I got to tell you
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I was real. I was like, okay, buckle up for safety. Literally,
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what the electronic sign is scrolling in big red letters, is
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this breaking news? Exclamation point, exclamation point,
21:53
exclamation point. Stores are running out of tampons due to
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the rise of pussies in this country.
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I was like, Oh my God. What have I gotten myself into? I'm like,
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here you are, FIFO wing, here you are fucking around and
22:13
finding out. And it's like, Oh my God. And I was like, Look, it
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would be so easy to judge this person, to make an assumption
22:21
about them, like what I think, how they politically lean, like
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whatever. And I was like, okay, just practice what you preach.
22:28
Meet this person with curiosity. Meet these people like with
22:31
without judgment. You know what I mean. And it turns out that
22:36
this person was incredibly polite, was incredibly kind, and
22:41
they were there, like, they're like, I said, Oh, you're getting
22:46
this for yourself. And this man says, No, I'm getting it for my
22:51
wife. She really wants one, and she has no idea. And I saw that
22:55
this one was, like, practically brand new, and it's perfect. And
22:59
I can't wait to surprise her. And then he tells me how he's
23:02
gonna set it up in the kitchen, like, just have it be there in
23:05
the kitchen when she gets home. And it's like, this beautiful,
23:07
lovely gesture. And I'm just like, like, flabbergasted. I'm
23:12
just like, I just love how surprising people are sometimes,
23:16
you know? And I was like, Wow, here I am just relating to real
23:20
people, putting myself in relation to real people. And
23:23
even though I'm looking at that sign and going, oh my god, like
23:27
the little mass hole kid in me, like, thing, you know, like
23:30
laughs at it, the other part of me is like, oh God. Like, I'm
23:33
shaking my head right? Like, I'm scratching my head, like, oh
23:35
god, is that what we want to be putting in the like, because I'm
23:38
thinking the level of commitment, the level of
23:40
commitment that you not only had to buy this thing, you had to
23:44
install this thing. You had to get power to this thing. You had
23:47
to choose a message it was gonna say. You had to, like, type it
23:49
in, and then you just let it run, even when your car's
23:52
packed, even when your car's not idly, like, your car's the sign
23:55
is just going. I was like, Oh my God, it was such a trip. And
23:58
then they turned out to be incredibly kind and thoughtful.
24:01
And I was like, wow, people are so fascinating. You know, next
24:05
person comes for, like, a workout bench that I had, and
24:09
their their person, their sweetie, actually had mutual
24:14
friends of mine, but she sent her husband to, like, pick it
24:17
up. So that was really fun. We connected, you know, online, and
24:20
then the husband shows up, and I end up talking to him, like, and
24:24
all these people. Here's the other thing I ended up talking
24:26
to all these people. Most people said to me, Look, people are
24:30
going to show up. They don't want to talk. Like, just do the
24:33
exchange. Get in, get out. Like, let it be done. And I got to
24:36
tell you, these people, on average, hung out for like, 20
24:41
minutes minimum, like talking, sharing, telling me things about
24:46
themselves. I'm asking questions, I'm learning all
24:49
about them. It was fantastic. So this guy, turns out he's a
24:52
landscaper and he does stone work, and we were just talking
24:55
about his approach to design, and I'm like, how did you get
24:59
into.
25:00
This business, and learning about their childhood dreams and
25:02
like how they started being like a like a stone and landscape
25:06
person, and telling me the stories about the clients that
25:09
they had and some of the richest places up in the lakes regions
25:13
like Winnipesaukee, and just the experiences with rich clients
25:17
versus people, and the level of appreciation and gratitude
25:20
that's often lacking with people who actually have more. And so,
25:24
like, it's a study in like, in like, human behavior. And I just
25:29
find the whole thing fascinating. And, you know,
25:31
we're talking about my yacht and, like, the things I could
25:34
do, and I'm just like, how cool is this? Like, I'm making money
25:38
and I'm meeting people and I'm learning shit. Like, how amazing
25:41
is this? You know what? I mean? It was just so incredible. And
25:45
then I was selling and I hope you're finding this interesting
25:48
in some way. How this applies to you is we've got to go out and
25:53
interact with others so we can decide for ourselves what we
25:57
think. Right? It's like, again, it's so easy to just label
26:01
people and judge people and throw people into these columns
26:05
or into these groups of people and say, well, they're all like
26:09
this, or they're all like that, and I don't want to be put in a
26:12
box. I'm like, Hey, wait till you have your own experience
26:15
with me. If I have had people in my life who don't like me based
26:19
on what somebody else said or somebody else did. And I'm like,
26:23
Hey, I've grown since then. Hey, I'm different since then. If you
26:27
guys want to keep telling the story about me when I was 1721,
26:31
30, whatever the thing is, I'm like, have you met me lately?
26:34
You know? So I like to give people, you know, somebody a
26:38
mess, whole kid that I know the other day said, give people
26:41
enough rope to hang themselves with. And I'm like, Well, yeah,
26:45
so a way of saying that is, give people the opportunity to show
26:50
you who they are. Give people the opportunity to show you
26:53
their real colors. Now I'm not naive. I know that these
26:56
interactions were only like I'm seeing like a peep show, a
27:00
little peek into the window of who people are. But people are
27:04
sometimes, often more honest with total strangers than they
27:08
are with their closest loved ones. This has just been my
27:11
experience. It has been my experience almost my whole life,
27:14
because a lot of times they're not worried about the backstory
27:18
and being judged and how what they're saying is going to be
27:20
interpreted through the lens of how they know that person always
27:24
takes things or says things or feels things or whatever. So I
27:28
find that it's really, really, really
27:31
revealing. People are so fascinating. So I had this gray
27:35
swivel sliding chair, and it was actually like a maternity chair,
27:40
but I had bought it because sometimes when I like to read or
27:43
when I'm holding, like, you know, back then, I had so many
27:45
animals, and it was like being able to hold the like, you know,
27:47
Toby pajamas in my lap, or Binky buttons, and I'm like, Oh, I
27:51
always want a big chair that I can recline in and rock and
27:53
swivel and read or whatever. But I didn't use it that much,
27:57
right? I had this idea. It's always like, the idea is better
27:59
than your head than what you really do. You think you're
28:02
going to use something double A man hands. If you've ever
28:04
experienced that, you buy something thinking, oh, yeah,
28:06
this is so great. I'm going to use it. And then you find out,
28:09
like, oh, I never, I'm making this up, but like, oh, I never
28:11
use those cross country skis, or I never actually took up
28:13
archery, or I never whatever. So it's better on paper than
28:17
reality. So I was like, All right, this chair is, like,
28:20
really in good shape. I'm going to sell it now. Here's the other
28:23
thing I'm kind of I saw this post the other day. It made me
28:26
laugh so hard. And my sister and I have often joked that, you
28:28
know, and my sweetie often says that I would have been a really
28:31
good detective, because I'm really curious, and I love to
28:33
research, and I love to find out ship and I'm fascinated by
28:37
people, so I often think, Oh, I would have been a good private
28:39
investigator. And I saw this woman the other day doing a
28:42
video, and she says, I'm a find out ologist. And I was like, oh
28:46
my god, I'm a find out ologist too.
28:51
So anytime somebody would send me a message like, is this still
28:54
available, right? I'm interested in this. Is this still
28:57
available? I would always go to their profile. I always go to
29:01
their profile and see who I'm dealing with. I'm like, okay,
29:04
who's this person who's reaching out to me, who might be coming
29:07
to my home address, or meeting me in a parking lot somewhere,
29:10
or whatever? I'm like, I need to know who these people are. So I
29:13
always go and check them out. And I'm like, Oh my God, these
29:15
people who want to come and get this chair, they're like,
29:19
Christian pastors. So I'm thinking to myself, Oh, my God,
29:23
they're pastor leaders. They one does like youth, you know, youth
29:26
worship leadership, the guy that was the woman, and the guy did
29:30
whatever he did. And I thought, Oh, my God, they're in front of
29:34
people talking all the time. They're probably going to come
29:36
in and they're going to want to talk with me, and they're going
29:38
to share with me. No, they were so quiet, they were so reserved.
29:44
All I really got from them is, like, where they lived, that
29:47
they were about to have a baby, that this was their second baby,
29:50
and that they didn't have, like, one of these chairs the first
29:53
time. And they just thought it would be really good, and they
29:55
thought it was great, and it was really clean, and they loved it,
29:57
and blah blah. And it was like that they that was a.
30:00
Pretty quick one. But the people that I expected to be, like,
30:03
boisterous or very talkative or comfortable meeting a stranger,
30:07
they were the total opposite. I was like, This is so fascinating
30:11
to me. They were shy, they were quiet, they were reserved. So
30:16
you also got to know, like, when I was like, Well, if I keep
30:18
asking them too many questions, which is my nature, I didn't
30:21
want to freak them out. I
30:26
didn't want to scare them away with my curiosity, which some
30:30
people might find nosy, but it's really, I'm just really
30:32
interested in people, okay, but these last two are, like, some
30:36
of my favorite experiences. And again, I'm sharing all of this
30:40
because I like to be surprised. I like to see how my ego mind
30:46
immediately judges, like, what the past is. I like to be wrong.
30:49
Sometimes. I like to find out, like, oh, you had an idea of who
30:54
you think these people were, or you have an idea of who you
30:56
think that person is. Like, I love to be surprised. I love to
31:00
find out some shit, not just about other people, but about
31:03
myself and how I think and why I think that way, and the stories
31:07
I tell and what I believe this is an exercise and like, finding
31:11
shit out about yourself too. Okay, so the last two were like
31:17
the best. Okay, so I was selling these dumbbells in a weight
31:21
rack, like I said, because I just gotten I just we just my
31:24
sweetie and I just upgraded, because we're strength training
31:27
at home now. So
31:29
first thing I realized about this person, just simply in the
31:33
way that they're talking to me, is that they definitely have a
31:35
military background. Everything is very abrupt and Curt and
31:40
specific and intentional. And it's like, I'll be there in
31:45
like, you know, 1200 hours, or 10 100 hours, or, you know,
31:49
whatever. And I'm like, having to do, like, the code in my
31:52
head, like, Oh yeah, that means 130 like, whatever it was. I'm
31:55
like, Okay. And they're like, I can come and get these today.
32:00
They're like, very direct, very right now, let's do this thing.
32:03
And I was like, Okay, what's and they write to me. I said, Well,
32:07
when you tell me that you're I said, Where are you coming from?
32:09
I always ask that, where are you coming from? And they'll say,
32:12
whatever, gilmington, like Hopkinton, con kid, whatever.
32:17
And I'm like, okay, as soon as you tell me where you're coming
32:20
from, and you're on your way, you're actually on your way.
32:23
I'll send you the address, right? So this person is like, I
32:27
send them the address, and within seconds, they're like,
32:30
eta,
32:31
eta, like, I'll make up a time, eta, 212
32:35
and I'm like, I'm like, shit that's in like, eight minutes,
32:38
like they're coming, you know what I mean? And I stopped
32:40
laughing, they pull up, I shit you, not. It is 212 like, it is
32:44
like, on time, not a second to spare in the driveway. Let's go.
32:50
And they get out. And they're in a uniform of sorts, right? And
32:55
I'm immediately like, Okay, I recognize the haircut, I
32:58
recognize the color of the clothes, I recognize the vibe, I
33:02
see the patches, like, whatever. And I'm like, Okay, this is,
33:05
this is a serious person. This is like a military veteran,
33:08
like, does not mess around. And you're thinking, This person is
33:12
going to be like,
33:16
This person is going to be friendly, they're going to be
33:18
polite, but they're not going to let you in, right? Not that I
33:22
have any spectacular expectation that they need to, but you
33:25
immediately, your brain starts to write a story based on
33:28
visuals like what you're seeing. When I tell you that this person
33:32
revealed so much personal stuff to me in a short period of time,
33:37
I was like, holy shit. And the things that I mean I found out
33:41
when they were retiring. I literally, I'm not kidding you,
33:45
when I said they told me, I'm retiring in this many months,
33:49
this many days, this many hours. And I was like, I said, like,
33:54
counting down the clock, huh? Yeah. And then I'm gonna X, Y
33:58
and Z. And they start to tell me their dream, right? What they're
34:01
going to do, you know, I want to buy an RV. I'm going to chase
34:05
the sun. I'm going to do this. I find out that he, this person,
34:09
is the youngest of a certain number of siblings, and that
34:12
he's the only one left. I find out, like, I mean, unbelievable,
34:17
unbelievable, the depth of what this person revealed to me, and
34:21
I'm just like, this is a no nonsense person. And I was like,
34:26
wow. And two things that I took away from this, besides being
34:30
surprised and just being pleasantly surprised, they say
34:34
to me, right? Because they've seen it all. They're not only a
34:38
military veteran, they're on the force, right? They're on the job
34:41
of some kind, that's what I'm comfortable saying. And they've
34:44
seen it all. And you can tell, I mean, I can literally tell by
34:49
what I see in their eyes that they have seen the worst of
34:53
humanity. So when this person turns to me after meeting me in
34:57
my sweetie, and he says, you know? And he.
35:00
Miles at us, and he says, there's still good people in the
35:02
world. Like, oh, I swear my heart grew like, three sizes,
35:06
like the Grinch. It was just like, just like, more like, just
35:10
like, blew out of my hat. My heart just blew out of my chest.
35:13
I was like, wow. And then I said
35:16
I was asking him about the weights, and he said they're for
35:20
my friend's son, because this stuff is really good for kids.
35:25
This is good for young men. And I was like, I 100% agree with
35:30
you. I said that's really kind that you're picking them up for
35:32
him, meaning like, oh, the friend must have saw the ad and,
35:36
like, sent the guy whatever, and he says they don't even know I'm
35:40
doing it yet. And I was just like, oh my god, this person
35:44
with this tough and gruff exterior is just a sweetheart,
35:48
is a thoughtful person, is thinking about others. It was
35:52
such a remarkable I will never forget that exchange, probably
35:55
as long as I live. That was a really, really powerful
35:59
experience for me, because they told me some of the things that
36:02
I don't feel comfortable revealing, because they told,
36:05
you know, they told me, to my face, it's not, not my story to
36:07
tell. Let me put it that way. And that was a really powerful
36:11
experience. And I just thought, Man, I just love that you you're
36:14
surprising me by surprising somebody else's kid. It's not
36:18
even his own kid. Oh, my God, I don't think he has I don't think
36:21
he had children, okay, and then the last one you guys, this was
36:24
so fantastic, and this might be helpful for you or somebody you
36:28
know or love. So I had these orange floor chairs, and I had
36:32
this pink exercise mat, and this person reached out to me, and I
36:36
had two different listings, right? Two different ads, or
36:39
whatever you want to call them, and they responded to both of
36:41
them, and they didn't realize yet I was the same person. So
36:46
when I responded, they put two and two together, and they're
36:48
like, Oh my God, you're the same person. It would be great if I
36:51
could pick these up together. And I'm like, Cool. So again, I
36:53
immediately I'm a find out ologist. So I go and find out
36:57
for myself who is this person, and I see and what I see makes
37:02
me so happy that I practically want to give the stuff away. And
37:07
so she's a young woman, and she's opening, and I'm shouting
37:10
this one out because I want people to support her business.
37:14
So she's a young woman, she's like 25 she's opening a new spot
37:18
in Concord, New Hampshire, and it's called Little bloom studio,
37:23
and what she is going to be offering is a calming sensory
37:26
space for neurodivergent children and young adults, so
37:29
that they can have experiences in a safe environment. And she
37:32
has a lot of background working with neurodivergent children,
37:37
ABA, but she also used to be a hair stylist. So what she's
37:42
doing is she's creating a place with that offers sensory
37:45
friendly haircuts and yoga classes. How amazing is that
37:50
it's going to be this little studio in Concord on Manchester
37:53
Street, and I'm just going to read directly it says it's
37:56
intentionally designed to have everyday experiences feel more
37:59
accessible and less overwhelming, especially for
38:01
children and young adults who may struggle with unfamiliar
38:04
noises, unpredictable movement and traditional group settings.
38:07
I'm like, Oh, my God, I love that my items are going to be in
38:11
this little yoga studio slash hair cutting salon, where people
38:16
who are neurodivergent young children, whatever can come with
38:19
their families and have an experience that is suited to
38:22
helping them. I was just like, Oh my god. So I did actually. I
38:26
gave her one of the items, like, much cheaper.
38:31
I was like, You know what? Just here, like, I'm just so happy
38:35
that you're taking it and it's going into a good place. It just
38:38
made me so happy. My experience was the opposite of everything I
38:44
had been told about, what I should expect, selling things
38:47
online. Yes, like I said, there were a few people that tried to
38:51
low ball me, and I just wrote back and said, Hey, I priced
38:54
this at a price that I already thought was fair. And they would
38:56
be like, no thanks. And I'm like, Okay, have a good day.
38:59
Whatever. I didn't take it personally. I wasn't willing to
39:01
budge. And something that the military guy said to me is, he's
39:05
like, here's the thing, when you see something, it's a good price
39:08
and you want it, you got to strike. He's like, Yeah, you got
39:11
a strike. You just got to do it. No nonsense. And he's like, if I
39:14
think the price is fair, I'm just going to pay. I'm not going
39:16
to not going to try to get somebody. I was like, Oh my God,
39:19
you're a person. I'm like, yes, yes, yes, and yes. So you guys,
39:23
here's the big question that I want to leave you with, and I
39:26
hope you have found this, at the very least entertaining learning
39:30
about this. Maybe you didn't. I'm just really fascinated by
39:34
humans and human behavior and why we think what we think and
39:37
say what we say, and believe what we believe, and do what we
39:39
do. And I think if we if more people took the time to be
39:43
curious about themselves and each other, we would have a
39:45
different world, rather than just laying our beliefs and our
39:49
patterns and our fears all on top of each other, right? Our
39:52
racism, our misogyny, our sexism, our bullshit, if we
39:56
really understood why we are imprinted with those beliefs
39:59
and.
40:00
The first place, and we did some work to unlearn some shit the
40:03
world would be a different place. Hence why I do the work
40:05
that I do. But I had to start with myself, and I continue to
40:09
work on myself, because whenever you start to find those sticky
40:12
places or those tricky places, or those places in you where
40:15
you're like, Hmm, I don't think that thought, that belief, that
40:18
story is serving me or anybody else anymore, we need to do some
40:22
work. So here's the question I want to leave you with, what
40:25
have you been believing about other people and yourself based
40:32
on what other people have told you? What have you been
40:35
believing about other people in yourself based on what others
40:39
have told you, whether it's the internet or the pundit on TV or
40:42
the so called expert or doctor or wellness influencer or
40:46
whatever the fuck, because there's a gazillion opinions
40:48
coming at us all the time. And it was so funny. There's this
40:52
guy right now online who does these videos, and he just did
40:57
like this graph, right? You know, you do a graph where one
40:59
side, like, think of it like an L shape, right? So there's the
41:03
upside and the across side. And he was drawing and saying about
41:07
opinions, and he was drawing this graph, and he says, the
41:10
less, the less I ask, the more you should not tell me. The less
41:15
I ask, the more you shut up. It was so funny, and it was all
41:18
about, like, nobody's asking for your opinion, the less people
41:21
ask, which is nobody's asking, the more you should shut up and
41:24
not give your opinion. I thought it was so funny, but the world
41:27
is not designed like that right now. Right now, everybody wants
41:30
to be an armchair expert. Right now. Everybody wants to be
41:33
selling you something, whether it's their opinion, their
41:36
product, their program, their bullshit, whatever it is. So we
41:39
have to have greater levels of self discernment, but we can't
41:44
really discern when we don't have a foundation of self trust
41:48
and trusting ourselves. So here's my second question, how
41:52
might things change? How might your life change if you started
41:57
getting more curious for yourself,
42:01
if you started trusting your own discernment and yourself more,
42:05
and you might do this through reading more books. You might do
42:09
it by doing your own research, listening to you know, reputable
42:12
sources, finding out, doing the homework to find out if it's a
42:16
reputable source, right. If we start to trust ourselves more,
42:20
have more discernment, get more self knowledge, get more self
42:23
integrity, self awareness, whatever, we are going to have a
42:26
really different experience in life. And I really want to
42:29
encourage you to just stop drinking everybody else's Kool
42:33
Aid. Go out amongst the real people and have real
42:38
relationships. Go out and have relationships with animals, with
42:42
nature, with others, with strangers, and come to find out
42:46
for yourself what you think, what you feel, what you believe,
42:50
what your experience has been. You might not be a line three,
42:54
but there's some shit that you could really benefit from of
42:58
taking some of those traits of being curious and going out
43:02
right far following find out for yourself. This is what writers
43:08
have known all along. As writers, we often say I write to
43:12
Discover what I think, what I feel and what I believe. We
43:15
think we know what we believe, and then we start talking, and
43:18
then we start writing, and then we start having conversations,
43:21
and we realize that our minds are actually malleable. There is
43:25
neuroplasticity. We can learn things, unlearn things, and
43:28
relearn things, but not if we're not willing to find out. And you
43:34
got to find out for yourself.
43:37
Be curious about the person in your family that everybody has
43:40
always said they're the black sheep. They're this, they're
43:43
that. Because I guarantee you, there is another side of the
43:46
story. I guarantee you, there is a different perspective. And if
43:50
we're more willing to put ourselves in other people's
43:52
shoes, to suspend our judgment and to be more curious, you
43:56
might just find out that we are all a lot more alike than we
43:59
think. And look, I stand pretty firmly right. I always say I go
44:05
back to being an independent, but I tend to obviously lean
44:09
right, more towards the democratic and the liberal side.
44:12
I am like, that's how I kind of, I guess I don't do identity
44:15
politics so much as saying I'm this thing. It's more about,
44:19
what are the issues? What are the things? What am I getting?
44:22
So I'm not shy. I'm very open about what I think politically
44:26
and where I land and where I stand, you know, but you still
44:30
got to find out shit for yourself. You don't just drink
44:32
the Kool Aid, right? You got to be curious. So I hope that this
44:36
has been helpful to you in some way. At the very least, I always
44:40
say, I hope that the podcast either is, you know, educates,
44:44
elevates, enlightens, entertains, or makes some sort
44:47
of emotional connection. So I hope at least one of those
44:49
things happen for you today. I appreciate you so much for being
44:53
here and spending time with me and you guys, if you want to
44:57
have some real life in person, hands on experience.
45:00
Experiences, and you're local, you know? I office stuff. I do
45:03
Thai Yoga, massage slash tie yoga, body work. I often have
45:07
workshops in town, right? I teach yoga classes. I do
45:11
mentoring. You can mentor over Voxer, a Voice app. You don't
45:14
even have to get on a call. Have a little hot to hot day with me,
45:17
but I'm always I like I cannot be replaced by AI. That's one of
45:21
the things I don't have to get. I'm not a fan of AI at all, but
45:26
me and my work is very literally hands on, right in Person A lot
45:31
of times, so I can't be replaced by some machine. AI is just a
45:36
thinking like it's really not even thinking. It's more like
45:39
computing machine. It's never going to replace human
45:42
heartbeat. It's never going to replace the warmth of a human
45:45
body. It's never going to replace the experience of human
45:48
presence, of somebody being in a room with you and really paying
45:51
attention and asking you questions and and noticing your
45:55
body language and your energy and how you feel and responding
45:58
to that. And that's one of those experiences that I really had
46:01
with this whole thing, of selling these things to total
46:04
strangers, who I got to meet in real relation, in real time. And
46:08
I know it's just a snippet, it's just a little window of time,
46:11
but I could be in the room with them and see their body
46:14
language, and see the pain in their eyes, or see their bodies
46:17
and see what their how they hold themselves, how they talk, you
46:21
know, and that's irreplaceable. And I think the more that we and
46:26
I know I'm on a tangent right now. So thank you for being
46:28
here, but I think this is what the world is longing for, and
46:32
it's only going to get stronger that analog in person small
46:35
groups. I want to be seen. I want to be heard. I want to
46:37
actually feel connected to real humans, not through devices, but
46:42
like looking each other in the eye, you know, being able to
46:45
hear their breath, being able to see them. So it's a powerful
46:48
thing. So I don't know you guys, find out for yourself. Thank you
46:51
for being here wherever you go. May you leave the animals and
46:55
the people in yourself and the environment and the planet
46:57
better than how you first found it wherever you go. May you and
47:01
your presence and your love and your energy and your curiosity,
47:05
your desire to really find out, be a blessing. Bye. Hey, thanks
47:10
so much for listening to the show. I really love spending
47:14
some time together. Now, if you dig the show or know someone
47:17
that could benefit from this episode, please share it with
47:20
them and help me to spread the good word and the love. And if
47:24
you want to be in the know about all of my upcoming shenanigans,
47:28
head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign
47:31
up and join my list. It'll be wicked fun to stay in touch.
47:36
Bye. You.