Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / From Combat to Healing

Transcript

From Combat to Healing · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Pete: Hello, welcome into another exciting episode of Pete for Excited. Before we get started today, guys, let's give a shout out to my partners over at PsychPal. there'll be a link in the bio as always, guys. Go check it out. Seven-day free trial. If you want to join, I did a great thing for you. Got you 20% off the first month. Use the code PET at checkout. That's right, guys. Use Pete at checkout to get 20% off your first month. With that being said, I have the honor of my guest today. He went from chaos of Vietnam as a marine machine gunner to fast paced business career, only to end up Facing burnout later years later. Please welcome in the one me only, Keith A. Cole. Keith, welcome in, man. How you doing? Keith A. Cole: Hey, great Pete. And thank you very much for having me on your program. I really appreciate Pete: Dev Keith A. Cole: it. Pete: definitely, man. Well it's an honor to have somebody here, you know, that served for us. You know, it's great to get your perspective on a lot of things. So Keith, why don't you tell everybody where you went after you got out of Vietnam? Keith A. Cole: I went after I got out of Vietnam, I I was still in the Marine Corps for a while. And Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: and then I went back to my hometown in Ohio, was there for a few years and and then I moved on to the Washington DC area and now I'm in Bethesda, Maryland, which is right outside of the district. Pete: Nice. Nice. So so what career did you go into after you got done with the Marines and everything? Because I know you it said you let into and then you were burnt out, which a lot of people experience burnout and don't even realize it. Keith A. Cole: yeah, absolutely. I d I I never called it burnout until very late. And the I just knew that there was stuff going on that just didn't wasn't right. And but I went into accounting. I I I I got the Marines and I had a part time job of doing income tax returns and I liked that and I thought it'd be good if I'd make that a career and so I I went to college, became a CPA, and eventually then went into business on my own. Pete: yeah, definitely. Okay. Okay. So accounting's where you went to. Okay. Numbers guy and all those kind of things, saying I I gotta admit I Math was never my friend in school, man. So more power to you on that one, but I mean, I know it's it's kind of a tricky area to be in. I have a friend, she does something in the financial area. I don't know what she does something in the retirement sector, I think is what she's doing now. She she works for a company that does a lot of retirement stuff and You know, all that kind of stuff. Man, s she tells me the hours that she's working are crazy. She's like I ask her what she's doing, she's like, I'm about to I had a panic attack today. I'm like, W so why are you still there? If it's causing you have a Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: panic attack, you know? Keith A. Cole: Yeah. But I yeah, I found it during tax season be quite quite stressful. Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: a lot of responsibility at that time. And also it's a very short window. And so, you know, and people like to wait to the last minute and and you know dropped a shoebox off or something. But Pete: Jesus. Keith A. Cole: later in my career I stopped that shoe box stuff though. I said that's that's not Pete: Right. Keith's like, Yeah, don't be bringing your shoebox. He's like, Yeah, I'm sorry I can't help you there. You're on your own man Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: So Keith, what was it like when you first experienced the burnout? Like a like maybe describe to people what the moment was like when you were you started feeling it, where you like really you probably had to be tired, stressed out, you know, just feeling kind of drained overall, honestly. Keith A. Cole: Well, yeah, I mean that pretty much did it. I yeah, it actually started even before I went into Marines when when my dad died. And so I was a senior in high school. had a had a great childhood, I thought. I I enjoyed that. My my dad was a railroader, didn't make a lot of money. but in a small town, my mother made some of my shirts, most of my shirts. And and so it was but I but I enjoyed it and I enjoy I had a plan most all my youth I was going to be a Methodist minister. And then my senior year in high school, my dad died. he had been a railroader all of his life. He died at 52 years old. he started working on the railroad when he was 17 and 52 Pete: Man. Keith A. Cole: he had a stroke and he died. And at that time it was like I I had been totally deserted. I was I I blame God for everything. My dad's a railroader, very strong individual, big guy, and and so it couldn't have been his fault, and so I blame God for that. Became very rebellious from that point on. finished out my senior year. I enlisted into the Marine Corps. but the at that time, the beginning, I think that was probably the beginning of my trauma, at least, trauma. That part of it, I was full of grief, very selfish grief. I had a younger brother and sister, and then of course my mother, at home when I when I went in the Marine Corps, but my total thought was on me, not them. I totally disregarded their grief as if I was the only one that was sad over this event. But in addition to the grief I was very angry. I became more angry as the days went on, very rebellious. And so I instead of going to college and become a minister. Pete: Yeah, yeah. Went to the Marines Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: instead. Yeah. And like I'm thinking like I'm thinking to myself, man, this story went for a twist real quick. But Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: you know, like I was telling you though, before we hit record, though, I had read a book in high school called Voices of Vietnam. And what it was is a collection of letters that were sent from people that were over there. And there were some wild there were some pretty wild stories that were going on to the point, like one was this poor guy was talking about having to execute somebody that was like fifteen. He's like, It was me or them at this point, you know, and he he you're d listening to him as he's describing his emotions and this poor guy's going through a panic, so I can only imagine the things you've seen over there. Keith A. Cole: Well, the the the thing of it was I I mean I when I went in and when I went to Vietnam I was still angry, I was still sad over my dad's death. And and so I was I I I welcomed the fact that I was going into combat at the at the outset. You know, before before anybody shot at me. But but the No, a lot of lot of a lot of things were pretty gruesome. but also at that particular time the the Vietnam War was on television. So you g you know, you you go home, you watch the news and it it it's showing people shooting at each other for Pete's sakes. You know, I mean and and then of course then the the caskets would be arriving in Delaware. And they had all the cameras there watching their airplanes unload with with all these flag draped caskets from the casualties from Vietnam. So as far I mean it's in the Marine Corps boot camp, from the very first day we stepped on those yellow footprints, you know, from then on, you know, it was you're in the Marine Corps now, you're going probably going to Vietnam, you might come back, you might not. I mean, that was the whole atmosphere of the whole time I was in boot camp. And we were learning from day one what to expect. income. Pete: Yeah. No, I I get that though, you know, like you know, well there's movies that's like Full Metal Jackets, like, you know, the gunny was out there yelling at Gomer all the time and things like that. you know, so I can I can only imagine because a lot of the letters in that book were just stating that it was a numbers game. So they would send over numbers and some of them would inflate their numbers to make it look like, you know, more than it actually was, you know, i and things like that. And people that are shocked hearing this, like this this is these are actual letters these people wrote. So these are coming straight from The soldiers that were there. So it's like you're getting a perspective like no other. Like you're watching it on TV, but you're not you're experiencing it through these guys' letters, what they're saying to you and the level of things that they're dealing with. Those poor guys coming back, like I can only imagine what their mindset was coming back after seeing all that and then going back to normal society because it's not the same to them. Loud noises could trigger a lot of them because you remember now, shell shock was was what they used to call PTSD. And they only thought you saw that soldiers were the only people that could get it, though they were like, no, we also can diagnose it. This is strictly soldiers only. Then they find out that everybody is actually able to to be diagnosed with PTSD and things like that too. So, you know, the the evolution of mental health from where you were, Keith, when you were younger to now, there's been some big strides in it. But I can only imagine what it was like back then, you know, especially, you know, with it being men's mental mental mental health month as we're recording now, you know. The conversation always comes up is that, you know, we're not supposed to talk about it. Was your was your dad that same kind of person like that though? Keith A. Cole: Well so during World War Two my my dad was a railroader and so there was some sort of exemption at that time where Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: he was being on a railroad, they need the railroads to to move stuff across the country, get ready for you know, to go go into combat with the whatever it might be, tanks and whatnot. so my dad was never was never in the military. he had brothers and and and my mother had brothers who were in the army and navy during World War II. But yeah my I mean my dad was not to show emotion. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: He never showed any type of emotion as far as that goes. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. My I I've had family in the military too. I found out I had a cousin who rode with Eisenhower when he was going across the German lines. He was his tank driver. He was t my dad said he used to tell him stories all the time. And I I don't remember meeting him because I was so young when I first when I met him one time. But you know, he had Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: told us like wild stories about that. And I was just like, Yeah, you know, I I don't know, man. I don't know if I could drive straight through a line of tanks coming at me, but okay, whatever. This guy's telling him keep going. And he's like, All right, let's go. but y but you know, I mean that that was the thing though. Like a lot of people didn't talk about their mental health back then because every time you brought it up, people thought you were crazy or you know, whatever label you want to give it. It it was not really a talked about thing for a long time, you know. And a lot of the Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: depending on when people were born, it's a lot of that stuff they didn't know anything. Like like what we know now, like so many different things, you know, and more people are more open about it now, but not enough to to my knowledge, because you know The suicide rates in men alone in for us, Keith, man, it's 80% of us every year. We account for 80% of them. And that's a scary number. The scariest number, though, was at beginning this year, I was listening to the radio and heard a report somebody was talking about said that suicides in 10 to 14 had gone up. And those are young gentlemen were losing that early, you know, that kind of thing. So it it's scary, man. It it's scary to think about it that we're losing children at 10 to 14. And the rate is going up, you know, but it's like no one wants to talk about it though. Keith A. Cole: The yeah, I mean PTSD as far as far as that goes was I mean, it was never recognized by the Veterans Administration until the early eighties. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: So that was fifteen or so years after I I was Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: out of the Marine Corps, you know. Right. And so Pete: Yeah. Yeah, well we we had we had a vet of twenty five years, that's the first guest I ever had on this show. He had said that when he came back, he said that they were telling him he was okay, but he knew. But he he right now he deals with it so bad that he can barely go to the store and just do like any average activity, like go to the store and pick up the loaf of bread like most people can. For him, that's a whole process that when he comes back, he's so drained because of the experience he had, because his Humvee Had got blown up and flipped. And he was, he was describing this whole moment. I was just like, holy crap. he was knocked out and he was the commanding officer. So Keith, he had to get up and and tell people he was okay, but he knew he wasn't all right. And when he came back, he said that the psychiatrist that was checking him out was wasn't looking at his results when he came back, were looking at the results when he went over to determine he's okay. And I was like, that's that's scary though, because for what you guys go through. You know, think about like World War Two when Ancient Orange Ancient Orange was and everything, all that kind of crazy shit was going on. Like the things you guys are dealing with is just it's crazy, man. Like they don't I I just like it's to me it's sickening that they treat the guys that they're going to war for us. 'Cause everybody wants war, but nobody thinks about the aftermath of what you guys have to deal with psychologically when you come home. Especially you guys when you guys had a lot of really wild things going on too, you know, especially all the World War One, World War Two, Vietnam. Desert storm, all these different things. Like everybody wants war, war, war, but nobody thinks of the consequences of what's gonna happen for you guys psychologically when you get back, or they just ignore you all. And it to me it's it's sickening that you guys put yourselves and do these things so we all have these freedoms, but then you guys get the least amount of help ever, man. Did did you have trouble with the VA when you were dealing with your situation? Keith A. Cole: Well what when I when I came home from Vietnam I I was metabacked home 'cause it was after it was after the third time that I had been wounded. And Pete: shit. Keith A. Cole: and so I I went I went from Vietnam to a Navy hospital in the United States. So but During during that process, I last time I was wounded was on July the nineteenth, and I I got to Great Lakes Naval Hospital outside of Chicago on August the twenty-fifth. So during you know there was a process of of stopping along the way at different locations for for whatever and and then the But that whole process, as far as my mental condition, Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: of course, that was never considered. they didn't even change the bandage on my wounds for for that week. I was I was flying around out there in space. But the so the so the mental condition was, I suppose that was. Definitely out of anybody's thinking. Right. Pete: Yeah. Yeah, one hundred percent. Keith A. Cole: Right. And as far as shell shock, I don't you know, I d the only time I ever heard that I guess was probably on a a TV show or something. The during during Vietnam I don't think that they had a name for it. I don't recall. Pete: Yeah, I don't think they did at that time. I don't think I don't think I don't think it was labeled that until later on, but that's what they gave the name to it for. And then I know recently they changed it after I think somewhere in the nineties it changed to they were calling it PTSD finally. They they had changed the name to it because they realized that other people could could be still falling under the same diagnosis. It wasn't just the military members that were the only ones suffering from this condition. Keith A. Cole: a absolutely. I mean that that the the PTSD was there's so many that's why I say when when my when my dad died, I think that was that grief and that anger I think was was part of that. And that type of trauma. And there's so many well, you know, if you just you know, look around the world around us, there are We have so many opportunities to overburden ourselves with unasked for trauma Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: in of all different shapes and forms. It's there. And it comes at us. And it doesn't matter if like when I was when I was writing I was writing the book and and and my wife worked at it and and I mentioned that in that I have I have a story of of men of the Bible who had burnout. They didn't, of course they didn't call it burnout at the time, but the symptoms were there. And and then another chapter the same way with women in the Bible. And my wife said, Well, women have burnout too. And I said, certainly. You know, even children have burnout. Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: And which it you know, the the for like PTSD, it's the same. But there's so many different types of things happening in our world today. You know. You know, it's all I mean, I c I get stressed out just watching television for peace sakes. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree. You know, think now that now you have the internet now, Keith. Remember back then that didn't even exist. Maybe till the early early n early Keith A. Cole: yeah, yeah, exactly. Pete: nineties when they introduced AOL. That was the first like internet experience for a lot of us. You know, now Keith A. Cole: sure. Pete: now you've got so many different sites. You it's like, you know, you're ever you're everywhere possible that these things and you've got so much information hitting you so fast, you know, it's too much for us to handle. And then you get these people that go on there and start saying all these wild accusations and false And it just the list continues. And it's just like, you know, it, you know, if TV's overwhelming, man, I can only imagine what the what the internet's like. You're probably like, fuck this, I'm done. I'm click, I'm out. Keith's like, I'm just trying Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Pete: to look at pictures of the grandchildren. I'm not trying to hear all these other weird stories. You know what I mean? But it's just like Keith A. Cole: Yeah, right. Pete: it's it's so crazy, man, because me and another a couple of fellow podcasters, we got together and we were discussing this. Did you know that? 56% of parents report that social media has negative effects on their children, Keith. Think about it. Keith A. Cole: No. Pete: Here's another scary fact. Another podcaster and I were talking about is that when the internet was introduced, suicide rates in boys went up. Think about it, because now you can bully somebody remotely. You don't have to be there like you guys used to have to. You have to be face to face. You're gonna say something, either you're call me on the phone or you're gonna have to come say it to my face, and then we're gonna handle it, you know, however we decide to handle the dispute. Now it's you can reach everybody from the text of your phone, your your internet, everything else, you know, and things like that. It's and Keith A. Cole: yeah, always. Pete: it's scary, man. You know what I'm saying? Like it's really scary for these kids these days because now you have to worry about who it is that's saying what to your kids and and things like that too, you know. Keith A. Cole: yeah. And in all those type of things, even the videos and and whatnot can be Pete: Mm. Keith A. Cole: digitally changed to look like something other than really what it is. Pete: Yeah, it's it's really scary, man. It is like especially with, you know, let's l what is that what's his name? The guy that recently got Charlie Kurt, the Charlie Kurt situation. People were showing his picture of what happened to his neck when he got hit. They're putting this on the internet. I'm like, what is wrong with you all? Like there's kids out there that are gonna see this that shouldn't see this, you know. Like, like don't get me wrong, when we were kids, we were we were watching like Faces of Death and things like that. We probably shouldn't been watching, honestly. But for you to put it out there. on the internet to show these things to people, it's like they don't need to see all that. Like, you know, there's there's a kid that's gonna see that now they're traumatized because they don't know what they were looking at. And then when they realize what it is they're seeing, it's it it's horrific, you know? And and that's the Keith A. Cole: yeah. Pete: scary part though. You know what I'm saying? Like from where you guys were to where now, like it's just it's just ramping up and it's just like everybody wants war, war, war, but nobody thinks about the aftermaths of these things. Keith A. Cole: Yeah, that's right. I just Yeah, I some of the some of the things that we went through, or a lot of things. i it just you know, it's kinda it's kinda like a a movie picture going on in my head. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: some things I I suppose I would would never forget. I mean it's been just about sixty years now, pretty close. Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: Actually yeah, I th this October will be sixty years that I went to Vietnam. Pete: Man. Keith A. Cole: So it it's like and and I I was there for nine and a half months. And so during that period, there's there's a lot of things I wished I could forget. but they're like my wife asked me, said how how so long ago, how can you write so vividly about what happened? How c how could you remember that? And I said, I if I was a hundred I would still remember, you know. Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: It's so it it it's so embedded in my memory. You know, I mean yeah, it just Pete: But but think about it, Keith. We're getting a first hand account of what was going on from someone who was there who saw it. So we're getting your perspective as you're writing this, which is amazing because people won't don't get that kind of knowledge. Like I've met a guy that was a Holocaust survivor in in like the vivid remember of what he was dealing with. Keith, it was it was some terrifying things. And this guy was just b droning them off like it was he nothing. And you could tell like He was gonna tell the story regardless. He just kept his wi daughter was with him and he just kept telling us about it. And I was just like, dude, this is I mean, this is crazy. Cause you get to ask him questions and you're like, he's like, I watch 10-year-old kids get thrown into fire pits and things. I'm like, what did he just say? I'm like then they're going, what did he just say? Holy shit. You know, but so it's it's great though that you're you're willing to write about it though, man, because you're giving everybody a perspective like no other. Like no one's gonna be able to recreate what you're doing, is because you will know. eyewitness account to what was going on. We get a first thought of what Keith was seeing, which I love those kind of books because, you know, you could you get to read it and then you get to see the feel, you get to feel exactly what you were feeling. We get to see that from your eyes. Like someone who's actually been there versus somebody you could probably, you know, depict a little bit was there. But you know, we're getting firsthand experience from someone that was right there in the middle of it. Keith A. Cole: Yeah. That that that that's a totally different level. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, man. So when you were when you were writing about it though, you know, did did the feelings come back? They had to when you were writing this. Like you is you're reliving it like you said, like a movie in your head. You can recall the whole thing word for word verbatim of what was going on. So like what did the emotions come back? Was it really hard at times? Keith A. Cole: I absolutely. the emotions sometimes come back when I'm on a when I'm on a podcast too. Yeah. Pete: Yeah. No, you're fine, man. Listen, it's it's one hundred percent, man. You live through these things. Like I I respect it a hundred percent. No one here can question anything that you've gone through. Like what you've experienced Keith A. Cole: It's Pete: firsthand, like everybody else has nothing to say to that. I don't care what anyone else says. Keith is telling you his perspective of what he's dealing with and and you know, the emotions are real, man, 'cause you've re feel you're feeling it still, 'cause you're playing it like a movie. Keith A. Cole: So when when when I when I wrote that, Pete, I what I did, I I I took my my memories, the emotions, you know, my my feelings and and and my breakdown and my redemption. And Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: I I poured that into a fictional marine that I called Kevin Casey. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: So when when I when I started when I started writing, I wasn't writing a book. I was I just trying to figure out what happened all these years. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: You know, what what got me to where I'm at, you know, and in the in all the bumps. And the and as I did that, I thought, well this is actually helping me as I'm writing about this. I I felt as though this was therapy. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: And as I was writing it up. And in that process, I'm thinking, well, wait a minute, I'm not the only I'm not the only Vietnam vet. I I remember there were other others there besides me. And and and then I thought, well, it it didn't have to be Vietnam either. We've had all types of wars. We got a lot of combat veterans. And and the more I thought about that is I said it's not just veterans, it's not just combat. There are so many opportunities for a person to suffer through trauma Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: and to have burnout. We're provided at every turn of the road an opportunity to suffer. And so this if it's helping me, this is going to help other people as well. And so then I so I changed the direction of my writing. I said, okay, I'll put this into a form of book, but I changed all the names. You know, people I talk about in the book, with the exception of the Bible characters that I mentioned earlier. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: but I I I I took all the the pain and everything and as I said it and and I put that into this fictional Marine, Kevin Casey. But the other people that I mention within the within the book are are also fictional names. But the trauma, the emotions, and the redemption were all mine. And it's what happened and how it happened. Pete: Yeah. So so the book i i have you you finished the book, I take it. Have you have you published it yet? Is it out for people to check out? Keith A. Cole: yeah, it's on it's on Amazon and and Pete: Okay. Well my next question then too is what is the response people are giving you reading this book? Have you been getting responses to it? People have they liked it? Have you gotten people that, you know, argue some points with you? Keith A. Cole: yeah, no no one's argued with me. I Pete: Key Slay, bring it on. I got all the facts here. Let's go. Keith A. Cole: Yeah. Yeah. the the fact is, it's my story. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: And I'm the expert on my story. so I mean y there may be other Marines or or or other service members that were there. may have a different view of their story. Right. but this is this is what happened during my life and and how I recovered. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Listen, man, that's that's awesome though that you you just went and did it and put it out there. it that's that's tough for people. Like we've had a lot of authors on this show. I I'd one I can think of particularly a really good friend of mine. She had lost her dad. He was a law enforcement person. And Keith, I gotta tell you what, dude, it was it's hard listening to some of these stories, man, because these are real stories you guys go through and the emotions you can guys can tell you're having when reading these things. I I'm reading the book right now that Erica Horowitz and her brother wrote. The perspective is the brother has BPD and it went through addiction and things like that. So we're we're seeing it through his eyes. So I am definitely looking forward to checking yours out too for sure. you know, because I I like a good read, you know. I like I like checking out certain stuff. You know, if it catches my interest, I I like to read it. I've got a lot of books I still have to make it through. I get so many sent to me of people that send me things that I'm just like, guys, I'll get around to. But you know, like It I love it though when you get a fresh perspective of someone sharing their story because your story matters. At the end of the day, that's really what it is. You're gonna somebody's gonna connect to this story and be like, damn, I can I can I can relate to this story, you know, or you know, someone else, you know, some somewhere and somehow it's gonna make sense when people start reading it and be like, well, you know, this makes more sense to me because, you know, this is through the eyes of someone who's been through these things, you know, like you're getting a first-hand account. Like I said, you can't you can't beat that. Like all these other stories, whatever, fictitious it don't matter. The fact is it's your story represented as some another another you know, Marine story, you know? But it's your story that's thriving this whole thing and these these emotions you're feeling and everything else, man. So like hats off, man. Like y it it had to be tough to write the book, honestly, for some of those moments you got into, man, but you d you did it. Now you can say you're an accomplished Arthur you know. And everything like that. Not a lot of people can say that these days, man. You're like, you've got your story out there that's gonna live on forever now, man. How does that feel? Keith A. Cole: Well, you know, when I when I wrote it it it was tough to write. but that's part of the reason why I I made the story about Kevin Casey. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: So 'cause like like I said, you know, it's it's kind of like the the movie or a newsreel going through my mind. And I can I can sit back and I can see that with my mind's eye, what happened. You know, I mean I've Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: it's like watching the television. And so and so as I looked at that and and I can write it and I can say, well that's Kevin Casey doing that. And and that that made it easier for me to write about being wounded, you Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: know, and and some of the some of the battles that we were in. I that I wrote, you know, parts of that. But the we had you know people I served with, friends, brothers in combat Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: who were who were killed. And that's that's very difficult. and and it it does doesn't get a whole lot better. you know, over time, you know, it's sad. And the after I got out of the hospital, I went back to duty and I was assigned on what was called I and I duty, which instructor and inspector, where we trained reserves. The reserves would come to our compound. We didn't have a base, it was more of a compound. And for training on the on a weekend a month. Then we'd go for a couple of weeks out in San Diego. But in the summer. But the the main duty we had at that particular time was that we would notify next of Ken. Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: When a Marine was killed or wounded in action. And and that was difficult in a lot more difficult in a lot of ways than what actual combat was. That was a lot of emotion. Pete: Yeah, I bet. Keith A. Cole: And and and then we would we would be the honor guard for that fallen marine. And I think the at that particular time I just drank a lot. You know, Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: it was it was something I I needed a crutch. I I had I had my bout with God and and I was still somewhat upset about letting my dad die, even at that time. Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: you know, off and on. But the but it was a that was very difficult duty. And and then before that tour duty was was over, my mother died. And I had a younger brother and sister at home and I she had cancer, I knew that she was sick, but she had asked me if I would be the guardian of my younger brother and sister if she would if she would die before they graduated from high school. And I said, well yeah, I would. not expecting that to happen, but it did. And so then after the funeral, I I applied to the Marine Corps to be released from duty. So I could be the guardian of my younger brother and sister. And they did so. that ended my Marine Corps career. And at 23 years old, I was the guardian of my younger brother and sister, who were just just early teenagers at the time. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Keith A. Cole: So you're just like, you know, wait a minute, how much how much do I have to take? You know, it was various different types of trauma, a lot of grief. Time I was a senior Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: and until my mother died, then it was lots of death going through going through combat and then and and and then to be notifying families of their Marines of dying and being wounded. So y just it didn't seem like there's any time there for a break, you know. Pete: Yeah, definitely. And now you're now at that point now you're you're guardian of your brother and sister. So now you have that added amount on top of everything else. And it's just like, wow. Well, but you're still here, man. Listen, listen, let's look at the facts though. You're still here. and and you're still stri you're still striving, man. Like you did it though, you know. Let's there's Keith A. Cole: Well that's Pete: that's right, you're still here. That's really what matters at the end of the day, man. Even though all that shit you went through, you're still here, man. That's an accomplishment to say though. Like that just a list of things you had gone through in that short period of time from when you graduated so you to the unfortunate passing of your mom, like y you had a lot of shit on your plate, man. Like, wow. And now now you have to be the guardian of two younger siblings, you know, and it's like, I'm twenty three, I don't know what about raising kids, you know what I mean? But your military background though had to be really easy, you know, with the you know, the the structure, everything like that. I'm sure you're a very structured person with them and and things like that too, man. But like I mean, hats off. Like literally hats off, man, because you went through everything. You go you just went through a whole cycle of things. And then on top of it, you had to deal with, you know, now being in charge of them and and making sure they graduate and things like that. And it's it's a lot, man. Like like there's not a lot of people I know that can handle all that and and still make it, man. So like hats off to you 100%. Keith A. Cole: So s you know, I I yeah, I think I I was a very strong individual. Pete: yeah. Keith A. Cole: to to to go through Marine Corps boot camp, certainly. Pete: Ha ha ha. Keith A. Cole: But but then and then through the combat and and then notifying people, then my mother dying and becoming a guardian. I mean, I wasn't much older than the kids were. So and I I so I think that took a lot of strength. And then being self-employed, running my own business, being responsible for people's tax returns and that sort of thing. And and There were no picnics along the way through that whole process. And so the You may people may think that the anxiety, this type of stress and would be obvious, but in my experience, A lot of that gets hidden just behind the responsibility and and the discipline and the Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: pushing through. And so it was it was when tough got gone, I you know, I think it was the football coach who says so when tough gets going, the I forgot how it went. When th tough when the thing when when the going gets tough, then the tough get going. Yeah. Pete: Let's help get going, right? There you go. That's what it is, yeah. Keith A. Cole: There he goes, I don't like that. But but that was I mean that was the case. I that's all I knew was to push harder. That was Pete: Mm-hmm. Keith A. Cole: that was the response to my anxiety, to my trauma, and to my burnout. It just like move on. You know. I'm a United States Marine. I can take it wherever it is. Whatever they put in front of me, I'm pushing. And and I did that through most of my life after that. Pete: Yeah. Keith A. Cole: but the but the truth is you can look strong on the outside, but still you're struggling on the inside. Pete: Very, very good point, Keith. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, man. The first one is a bit of a fun one, okay? So my question Keith A. Cole: Okay. Pete: to you is if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? This is a really fun one, I'm telling you man. Everybody has some really interesting answers to this one. It could be the first song that comes to mind. A lot of people go with the first one that hits them as soon as I ask that question. Keith A. Cole: Yeah. I you know I think my mental health. I I I would I I think it would have to be Grandma got run over by the reindeer, I think. Pete: my god, yes. Keith, I love it. That's great. No, dude, that's that's awesome. I gotta say that's the first time I've ever heard anybody say that one, but okay, all right. I like that. That's great. my God, that's awesome. All right, Keith. All right, so to the final question, and the reason I started this podcast, if you could break the stigma about mental health. Now, what I'm asking you is something that you want people to just stop believing. What would you say that one thing would be? Keith A. Cole: So what was the one thing I'd want people Pete: Yeah, if you could break the stigma about mental health, you know, like everybody has all these different beliefs about it, things that you hear people say that you don't you just want people to stop believing. Like something you hear a lot of times that people say and you're just like, That's that's not right. What would you say that one thing would be? Keith A. Cole: You know, there there's another old saying about I and I and I can't remember that for word for either, but it's the walking my moxicins for a mile or something. How however that was. Yeah. Pete: Yeah, walking your shoes from out thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Keith A. Cole: And so the the thing of it is is is We've all had experiences and our experiences may be different, but Don't criticize just because someone's going through a different experience than what you are. Pete: Yep. Keith, I love it. That's absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for being on the show, man. I appreciate you coming to hang out with me. I absolutely loved this conversation. Keith, before we start wrapping up, why don't you let everybody know where they can find your book and where where they can reach out to you if they want to reach out to you and send you some, you know, words of encouragement. Thank you for sharing and all those kind of great things, man. Lay it on them. Where can they find you? Keith A. Cole: Okay, okay, so my my website is re recoverybyfaith.com. And you just put a Keith at in front of that and that's my email. and through my website as well you you can find my book there. That's the easiest way of of of finding it, the book and with it is a workbook, which is a Part of the recovery plan. Pete: Love it. Keith A. Cole: And it's all available there. If you have any trouble with that, you just email me and I can help you locate it easily enough. Pete: Love it. Love it. Keith, thank you so much for hanging out, man. I really appreciate it. Guys, I will have all that inside the bio of this episode. You know, just so y'all can find it and things like that. That way you can know you guys can reach out to Keith if you need to. Check out his all of the stuff and everything he's doing. Keith again, man. Thank you so much for everything, man. I appreciate you coming and hanging out with me. you are more than welcome to come hang out any other time you want, man. You just hit me up if you got something new. it you're we'll figure it out. I'll clear the schedule for you, man. I don't do that for many people, Keith. I'll just, I'll just Wipe out of the way, but sorry, key's coming, y'all gotta go. Keith A. Cole: Well, th thanks so much, Pete. And I just I I truly appreciate you and your audience and so thanks very much for this time. Pete: I appreciate it, man. Listen, with that being said, guys, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete for Sanxiety. Guys, you know where to find me at Pete for Sanxiety. I'm on X all the way down to TikTok. I'm on Spotify all the way down to Pandora Radio. And as always, say it costs nothing, absolutely nothing to be kind to somebody. One kind act you can do can save life, hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete for Sanxiety. Sign off saying, Don't ask how your day is today. Say, hey, how's your mental health?