Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / When They Fly, You Can Soar: Finding Yourself After Senior Year

Transcript

When They Fly, You Can Soar: Finding Yourself After Senior Year · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 84 of Start your Comeback.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Today, I want to talk straight to the parents, especially the ones who are watching their seniors get ready to graduate, maybe this week or soon.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I remember May of 2009, and then again in 2013.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: My boys were graduating from high school, one after the other, the first to leave.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: That was tough, but when the last one left, that's when I felt like I was standing in emotional quicksand.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: May is a beautiful but brutal month for parents of seniors.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: There's this weird blend of adrenaline and dread that kicks in all at once and it doesn't let up very easily.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: But this episode isn't really about your kid.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: It's about you, because the truth is, when your child graduates, you enter a new transition too, and most parents aren't ready for that emotional blindside.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: You see, the real shift starts long before graduation day.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Honestly, it begins right at the end of junior year ACT, sat prep, senior pictures, college applications and a slow but steady declaration from your teen that goes something like I'm grown now.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Don't tell me what to do.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Suddenly you're living with a stranger who wants to do life their way but still eat your groceries.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile you're trying to juggle invitations, class rings, cap and gown orders the last of the banquets award nights.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: You're running on fumes because, well, it's the last of the banquets award nights.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You're running on fumes because, well, it's the last time.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: And the emotions they're all over the place.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I cried a lot sad tears, happy tears and, if I'm being honest, some angry ones too, because they start pushing back hard and you realize this is the healthiest separation God built into this process, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: We act like we're fine.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: But then it happens the day comes.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: You sit through the ceremony, you take the pictures and you come home to a quieter house.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: When my oldest left for college he was just 45 minutes away and I cried the whole 45 minutes home after we dropped him off.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: But two weeks later he called to say he was going to quit school, withdraw and move to California to chase a music career.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: We didn't know anyone there.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: He didn't have a job, just a dream a room in a rented house with other musicians and a side hustle teaching tennis.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: But he had a gift and, even though it broke my heart, we let him go, because God didn't give him that gift.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: For us to hold him back, letting go it's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it taught me this they're not ours to control, they are ours to guide, raise and release.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: No one prepares you for how the family rhythm changes going from four to three, cooking less, the laundry piles are smaller, going out to eat and not needing to ask for a table of four.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And rumor has it, when they come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, they're not the same kid, they're kind of this in-between, not quite adults, not quite kids, still trying to figure out who they are and what they're doing.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And you're still learning how to parent them while also relearning who you are.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: That's the part we don't talk about enough.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: But here's the good news you don't have to fall into the pit of loss.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: This isn't the bench.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: It's the start of your comeback too.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: To get you off of the bench, there's five intentional steps to help you let go without losing yourself.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Number one teach them to own it before they leave it.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: In other words, laundry, cooking, budgeting Start handing over the reins senior year.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: It won't be done perfectly, it won't be done the way that you do it, but that's not the point.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: You're building capability, not perfection.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Number two teach them that not everything is an emergency.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Stress management matters more than a GPA.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Time management, emotional regulation, prioritization these are the tools that carry them further than any diploma ever will.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Number three you have to shift from being a director to a guide.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Ask questions, listen without fixing.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Let them lead the decision-making process with your support, not your control.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: This is how they learn to trust themselves and it's how you learn to trust the process.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Number four be a model of humility and grace.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Celebrate their friends.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Cheer for the other kids' achievements Envy has no place here.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Achievements Envy has no place here.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: This is the season to be their biggest encourager, not the critic or competitor.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: And finally, number five talk about disappointment and resilience.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Not everything's going to work out, and that's okay.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: But you see, disappointment it isn't failure, that's okay.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: But you see, disappointment it isn't failure, it's preparation.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Help them see grit and character as the greater win, even when they don't get the trophy.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Let me say this loud and clear when your kid walks across that stage, you're not losing your purpose, you're redefining it.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Your identity isn't ending, it's evolving.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: There's life after carpools and college apps.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: There's purpose beyond snack duty and late night heart-to-hearts and late-night heart-to-hearts.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: It's now your turn to dream again, to rediscover what lights you up, to get off that bench and back into the game.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Graduation marks a transition for your child, for your family, but it also marks a transformation beginning for you.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's emotional and yes it's hard, but you have what it takes to let go with grace and step forward with purpose, the skills, grit and wisdom you've poured into them.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Now it's time to pour some of that into yourself.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: If you're finding yourself unsure of what comes next, let's talk.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I offer coaching for parents just like you navigating this transition and wondering what's next.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: It's time to start your combat, not someday, but today.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Take a look at the website tonythrashcom to schedule a free discovery call.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: The link to the calendar is in the show notes Because you see, you're not benched.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: You're being repositioned for something new, something bold and something that's just deeply you.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Now, if you find yourself sending the last one off to college and leering ahead of you is the empty nest stage, then you won't want to miss next week.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: That's the topic that we're going to cover and I'm going to give you some strategies on how to reawaken your purpose and discover what's next in this phase of your life.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being here.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you.