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8 Things Narcissists Hate! · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So 8 things that narcissist absolutely hates according to a
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  psychologist. Then we'll talk about today,
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  y'all? A psychologist put together a
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  list of eight things that narcissist can hate about you,
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  the world themselves hate just in general, right?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back. Yes, no hate is such a strong
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  word and accurate when it comes to dealing with narcissistic
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  people, isn't it? So I found this list online from
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  Doctor Jamie Zuckerman who actually follow on Instagram.
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  It's on parade.com. So I'll link Doctor Zuckerman's
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  page and also link the article about the eight things.
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  But I'm going to give you my perspective on them, 'cause this
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  is from a psychologist. I'm just like, let's see what
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  the psychologist is talking about.
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  Y'all this right here and these eight things right here.
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  Y'all can elicit narcissistic rage.
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  They can make them go silent on you.
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  They can make them ghost you. They can make them become
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  physical. They every narcissist is going
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  to react differently, right? But this is a list of eight
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  things. So #1 being held accountable for
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  their actions, which is absolutely.
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  Yeah, that kind of goes without saying, right?
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  Most narcissists hate being held accountable for their actions.
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  I think. Obviously, I don't like speaking
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  to absolutes. I'm not going to say all.
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  So most narcissistic people, a huge majority of them probably,
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  oh, probably above 99% hate being held accountable for their
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  actions. Not all of them, but it's above
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  99%. If you call them out for
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  something that they have done wrong, they might lose their
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  minds, they might go crazy, they might put their hands on you,
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  they might blame, they might shift the blame back to you,
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  they might put it onto you. They might project, they might
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  start crying and begging for forgiveness.
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  They would, they would. One thing they will rarely ever
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  do is just say, damn, that's on me.
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  I'm going to change those behaviors.
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  I apologize for doing it in the first place and I'll never do it
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  again. Very rarely will they do that
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  and then I actually go get some help for it, actually go seek
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  help or trying to trying to put in any type of plan of action in
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  order to change. So that's number one right there
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  from Doctor Zuckerman, but she's been on a lot of stuff to do
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  Y'all Number 2, when someone else steals the spotlight, Yes,
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  absolutely, positively yes. And this right here can go a few
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  different ways, right? When the attention is not on a
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  narcissist, typically they lose it, right?
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  Typically they react. They have a negative reaction to
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  the attention not being centrally focused on them.
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  And they can go to, yeah, as we all know, they can go a bunch of
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  different ways. So the attention is not on them.
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  They can lose their minds and lash out on everybody else
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  around them. But they could also, when I say
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  attention, they can mean your success.
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  Somebody else's success can set them off somebody else's not
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  somebody else's successes can set them off somebody else's
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  promotion, somebody elses body. They they get jealous.
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  Y'all narcissistic people. We are just damn near I feel
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  like innately jealous and we have these delusions of grandeur
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  to make us feel like we are better than everybody else.
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  We have this crazy ass, unlike unwarranted, unwarranted sense
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  of entitlement that we we deserve.
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  We're entitled to everything just because we are us.
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  Not because we deserved it, not because we earned it, but simply
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  because we are us. We feel like we deserve it.
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  So anytime, and This is why a lot of times narcissists act
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  actually don't like celebrating your success.
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  This is why a lot of times when the attention is not on them,
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  they'll start to act out, they'll start to get raised,
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  they'll start arguments, they'll start fussing and fighting the
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  night before a big event for you.
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  They'll do things like that to mess with you.
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  So I'll say that, I'll say that as well.
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  This, this happened constantly. This happens consistently,
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  right? So when the spotlight is not on
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  them, they will try some way, shape or form to either put the
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  light out, they'll knock the light, they'll put they would
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  rather put the light out then it have it on somebody else.
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  But most times they're going to try to find some way to get the
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  light to shine back on them, not on you to shine back on them.
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  So some way, shape or form. So that's going to be true as
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  well right there. Y'all #3 not having access to
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  someone again. Yeah, I'm going to link the
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  article, but This is why. And this right here can be
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  speaking about going no contact with a narcissist, going low
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  contact with a narcissist, you breaking up with them, you
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  moving on, you deciding to choose yourself, you deciding
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  that something or someone else is better for you, you deciding
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  to put yourself first. When you cut them off and they
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  no longer have some type of access to you, a lot of them
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  again will lose it. They will have a very, very
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  negative reaction, especially if you ghost them.
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  If you ghost them and disappear, go no contact.
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  Block them everywhere and they don't know where you are or who
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  you're with, man. They lose it because like, like
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  I just said, the last thing I said was who you're with.
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  They automatically assume that you're with someone else.
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  Like it what? They automatically assume that
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  you're moving on. So This is why a lot of times
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  when you break up with a narcissist, they automatically
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  jump into, I hope whoever you with is making you happy.
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  I hope the person that you're dating is making you happy.
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  I hope that whoever you're doing this with is making you happy.
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  I hope whoever you're with right now is making you happy.
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  I hope they're worth it. I hope they're worth it.
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  Rabble rabble rabble blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  This is part of the stuff that goes on right here y'all.
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  So I would just keep saying as you moving forward, keep
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  thinking and this is how it goes.
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  Narcissistic people, toxic people are going to absolutely
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  hate when they don't have access to you.
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  And again, y'all, when you cut off access, this could be the
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  most dangerous time. I'm not saying don't cut off
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  access. I'm saying be safe when you
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  decide to do it because they can absolutely try to take you on up
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  out of here. They can't absolutely do that,
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  y'all #4 when you don't need their financial support.
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  Oh, that's a very unique 1. So it's like, I'll say this, not
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  every single thing on this list is going to apply to every
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  single person, right? Some of this stuff is not going
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  to apply to you. Like you might not need their,
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  you might not need their financial support anyway because
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  y'all both work, y'all both have your own accounts or whatever
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  the case may be. But for those who do need their
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  support, like if you're a stay at home parent or whatever, they
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  like to financially abuse you. They like to control you through
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  money. They like to abuse you and
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  manipulate you with the finances.
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  They love it. A lot of them love it.
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  They love to be able to have control over you because they
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  think they think that when they have financial control over you,
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  it's more difficult for you to leave.
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  You can't think about leaving me because you have you can't you
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  have I have the money, I have control, I have the everything
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  is in my name. The house is in my name, the
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  cars are in my name. You leave here, you going to
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  leave with nothing. You don't have enough money to
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  hide A divorce attorney. So even if you are guaranteed to
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  get fifty 5050% of my stuff, but whatever you good luck at
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  finding somebody who's going to do a pro bono or pay me later
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  type stuff. You see, they hate it.
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  So when you're gaining financial footing, they will try to stop
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  it. If you haven't worked for a
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  while, you're trying to get a new job, you're trying to go
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  back to school, you're doing this type of stuff right here,
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  they'll start an argument because they don't want you to
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  gain their financial footing, y'all.
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  So yeah, they will hate, hate, hate when you when they lose
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  control of that type of stuff right there, y'all #5 when you
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  want to spend time with a big group of friends.
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  Again, all this is not going to apply to everybody, but I can
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  see how a narcissist could hate this right here as well because
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  a lot of times they like to isolate you.
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  They like to get you by yourself, they like to have you
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  all to themselves, have the power and control over you.
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  So you don't like, there's no outside influence.
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  So not just a big group of friends, it could be found in
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  members as well. Because a lot of times,
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  especially if the narcissist has done especially the narcissist
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  or the highest person has done you wrong a lot of times, right?
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  Especially if they have done you wrong a lot of times they will.
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  Absolutely. And you told your friends they
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  don't want to be around them anymore because they think your
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  friends hate them. And they think your friends
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  always trying to get you to leave them.
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  So they'll start arguments, they'll start fussing and
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  fighting. They'll make you feel guilty
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  about going to hang out with your friends and family members.
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  Your friends don't like me. So wow you get thanks for
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  leaving me here by myself. You know they don't like me.
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  You don't know I don't want to be around them.
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  Wow, you picked them over me. Wow, you really are evil.
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  Wow. I thought better if you wow.
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  Come on now, y'all, come on, come on.
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  So a lot of them do hate that right here, Doctor Zuckerman.
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  Like I say, I'm going to link the article where you can read
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  her reasons behind this. But she says they actually, they
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  actually prefer, prefer to spend time with you one-on-one because
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  it's harder for them to use their manipulation tactics on
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  you otherwise isolate. They like to have you all to
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  themselves to isolate you, Number six, when you want to be
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  independent from them, yes. Again, this kind of leads, this
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  kind of go back to #4 as well. We don't need their financial
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  support. But it's like I said, it's not
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  always going to be finances. When you're gaining
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  independence, when you're going back to school, when you're
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  doing things to better yourself. They're not.
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  A lot of them are not going to like that.
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  A lot of them will hate that. Doctor Zuckerman says a person
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  with MPD isn't usually drawn to someone with super independent
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  personality. Generally speaking, any movement
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  of their partner, child or friend towards self-sufficiency
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  is viewed as a personal attack or or abandonment by a
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  narcissist. So yes, it's absolutely viewed
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  like you're. You getting better makes me feel
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  like I'm not good enough. You not, you feel like I feel
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  like you don't need me. It makes me feel like a bad
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  person. I know that sounds weird, but
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  you have the right wing right here.
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  You feeling better, you doing better, you not needing me.
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  Not just financially, emotionally, physically,
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  whatever. You having you being
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  self-sufficient and able to survive on your own without me
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  and not without me being around makes me feel like a bad person.
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  It makes me feel less than. It also makes me feel like
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  you're going to leave me for somebody else.
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  Like if you get into, if you get another job or you find somebody
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  else that you like or you doing stuff like that with your
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  friends, it makes me feel like you got to find somebody else
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  better than me. Replace me.
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  So that that's why it could activate those abandonment
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  wounds like Doctor Zuckerman had mentioned, right?
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  And we get down to the last two, y'all, We get down to the last
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  two #7 being confronted with the truth about themselves right
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  here, y'all? This right here is it can go
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  back to being held accountable. So some of these can kind of be,
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  I haven't even read the whole list.
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  This is fresh off my head. I want to give you all my fresh
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  thoughts. This can kind of go back to #1
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  being held accountable, right? They don't want to be held
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  accountable. Was that number one?
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  Number one was being held accountable for their actions.
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  Yep. So this can kind of go into it
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  right here, right? Being confronted with the truth
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  about myself. It's like holding up a mirror to
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  me and allowing me to see my flaws.
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  I don't want to see my flaws. Why you?
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  Why the hell you hold this mirror to me to make me see
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  myself like this? Why you want me to see myself
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  through this light? Why you want me to see how
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  flawed I am? You must hate me.
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  You don't like me. You're evil.
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  You're a bad person. They'll call you a bad person,
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  y'all for They'll call you a bad person because you They'll call
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  you a bad person because you held you.
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  You're showing them who they really are.
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  Then that's crazy. They'll call you a bad person
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  for telling the truth about them, which is insane.
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  Think about how crazy it is, y'all.
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  You told the truth about me, so I consider you a bad person.
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  That's Yeah, that's again. Think about that again.
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  You told the truth. You're telling me.
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  You're not even exposing me. Like you're not even exposing
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  me. You're telling me the truth
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  about me. And I thank you, a bad person,
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  for doing that. That's insane though, y'all.
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  And the last one on the list, y'all.
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  The last one. Drum narcissistic drum roll,
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  please. Debate #8 might actually be the
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  worst one to me #8 like #1 the accountability.
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  That was tough, but she might be.
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  She rounded this list up right here.
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  Criticism of any kind. And that's absolutely true.
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  Like y'all, any criticism to a narcissist makes that narcissist
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  feel like a bad person. Will you criticize me?
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  Will you shame me? You make me feel like I'm a bad
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  person. You make me feel like I'm evil
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  even though I probably have been doing some evil things.
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  Doctor Zuckerman says while most people aren't fans of being
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  criticized, they can usually handle constructive criticism
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  with narcissists. I'm glad she said that.
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  With narcissists, there's no such thing as constructive
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  criticism. It's all criticism, it's all
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  bad. There's no sense that no, we're
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  not being constructive. You're trying to, you're trying
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  to deconstruct me. You're trying to break me down
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  with the criticism. However, a narcissist, a person
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  with NBD, hates any type of criticism.
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  Even constructive criticism is viewed as a person.
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  With that, I just said that I haven't read the article y'all.
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  I just said that y'all need to know I'm on point right there.
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  They will be overly sensitive to criticism.
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  Yep, they will. Because narcissists truly, truly
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  don't want to be held accountable for the stuff that
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  they do. They truly, truly hate the
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  criticism because like all of this ties in together to you
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  attacking their ego. A narcissist's ego is both huge
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  and fragile at the same time. Huge is is like a big balloon.
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  Y'all. You see a big balloon?
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  Like damn, it's a big balloon, but like a big balloon is you
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  can pop it with a pen. You can no matter how big the
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  balloon is, you get a you get a nice little pen, you can pop
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  that balloon. But anyway, y'all, thank you for
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  tuning in Robin Robin with me to the end of this list.
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  Again, I'm going to link Doctor Zuckerman's article.
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  You can find it and you can find her account as well.
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  Be safe. Hit that subscribe button if you
• 13:57
  haven't. And it's always y'all been
• 13:59
  tuning this is that peace what up y'all what up?
• 14:03
  Before you leave, make sure to hit that subscribe button if you
• 14:05
  haven't. It just helps us reach more
• 14:07
  people. Also, everything I have is
• 14:09
  available at mentalillness.net. My coaching, my courses.
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  mentalillness.net. Check my site off everything
• 14:20
  y'all and I will see y'all later.
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  Peace.