Latest / Rachel Oates / Brett Cooper: A Muddled Hypocrite

Transcript

Brett Cooper: A Muddled Hypocrite · Rachel Oates

• 0:00
  All right, hi, everyone, and welcome back to a new video.
• 0:02
  If you're new here, welcome. My name is Rachel.
• 0:04
  And if you've been around a while, welcome back.
• 0:06
  Hi. Hello.
• 0:07
  I have been diving quite a bit into Daily Wire people recently.
• 0:11
  In a few videos over the last few months, we talked about Matt
• 0:13
  Walsh and Candice Owens and people like that.
• 0:15
  And so I thought it was finally time I tackled Brett Cooper.
• 0:19
  I don't know about my audience, but my real life friends have
• 0:22
  been asking me to make this video for so damn long.
• 0:25
  Like I, I have this whiteboard in my kitchen living room area
• 0:30
  where I have like my, my little monthly schedule of like, you
• 0:33
  know, events of coming up and stuff like that.
• 0:35
  And every time my friend Nick is over, he writes on it make Brett
• 0:38
  Cooper video like big letters. So he has been asking for this
• 0:41
  for ages. This is for you, Nick,
• 0:42
  basically. But for those of you who don't
• 0:44
  know who Brett Cooper is, congratulations, your life is so
• 0:47
  much better than mine. But for context, she is a 24
• 0:52
  year old right wing political commentator who used to host the
• 0:56
  Daily Wire show slash YouTube channel the comments section
• 0:59
  with Brett Cooper. But these days, since around
• 1:02
  January 2025, she's gone independent and has her own
• 1:05
  YouTube channel. Just I think it's the Brett
• 1:07
  Cooper show or something completely original like that.
• 1:11
  Recently, in my opinion, it has been the Me Too movement and the
• 1:13
  lasting impacts of that that were the unfairly generalised
• 1:16
  men as predators which led to massive, massive reputational
• 1:20
  damage. Innocent until proven guilty was
• 1:22
  basically thrown out in the courts of social media, in the
• 1:25
  actual courts of law. Like that has just not been a
• 1:27
  thing anymore. There was, and still is this
• 1:30
  attack on toxic masculinity, which stereotyped, you know,
• 1:34
  normal male traits like stoicism or assertiveness as being
• 1:38
  inherently harmful. These days she still contributes
• 1:40
  to things like Fox News quite regularly.
• 1:42
  And in the past she has worked with the nightmare that is
• 1:45
  Prague you. You know, I don't know if I've
• 1:46
  ever made a video just about Prague you, but I feel like I
• 1:49
  should because, oh, it's bad, isn't it?
• 1:51
  It's really bad. Like, I know it's come up in
• 1:53
  other videos where I've been talking about certain people,
• 1:55
  but I don't know if I've ever don't want just dedicated to
• 1:57
  that. Let me know in the comments if
• 1:58
  you want me to, because that would be a journey.
• 2:01
  But anyway, Fox News Prague, You The Daily Wire.
• 2:04
  I think that tells you a hell of a lot about who Brett Cooper is
• 2:07
  and what her politics and views and values are.
• 2:10
  One New York Times article about Brett had the tagline Brett
• 2:13
  Cooper is spreading Conservatism 1 celebrity drama at a time.
• 2:17
  The Youtubers set out to reach young conservatives who felt
• 2:20
  alienated by mainstream culture. Now she's the newest face at Fox
• 2:24
  News, though, dreaming of her own goop.
• 2:28
  Yeah, like that Goop and you know how I feel about the
• 2:32
  overpriced pseudo scientific nonsense that preys on people's
• 2:36
  vulnerabilities. That is Goop and other
• 2:38
  pseudoscience and woo like that. I think one of my videos
• 2:42
  reviewing some of the goop products was one of my first
• 2:45
  videos I ever did on YouTube actually.
• 2:47
  And it was, it was quite interesting.
• 2:49
  They had things like psychic vampire repellent that you could
• 2:53
  spray to keep psychic vampires away so they wouldn't suck your
• 2:56
  energy. They had jade yoni eggs that you
• 2:58
  stuffed inside your vagina, except the fact that the jade
• 3:02
  they were made from was incredibly porous and basically
• 3:04
  just the breeding ground for bacteria, so you were risking
• 3:07
  major infections by doing that. It was it was a lot.
• 3:11
  If I can find it I'll link that video below but it's probably
• 3:13
  very old and not very good. But anyway, I think this alone
• 3:17
  again says a lot about Brett's morals and how she prioritises
• 3:20
  her ambitions over the well-being of her audience.
• 3:23
  Plus for someone who claims to be against feminism and she
• 3:26
  brings her up in pretty much every video, she use your
• 3:28
  feminism's baddies feminism sword.
• 3:29
  Blame feminism. For someone who claims to be
• 3:33
  against feminism, she is in the same vein as people like Candace
• 3:36
  Owens and just pearly things actively benefiting from
• 3:39
  feminism constantly. She is a massive hypocrite.
• 3:43
  She has millions of subscribers, she makes plenty of money for
• 3:46
  herself, she works whilst being a mother and wife, she is active
• 3:50
  in mainstream politics and she wants her own goop style
• 3:53
  business empire. None of which she could even
• 3:55
  come close to doing without feminism.
• 3:58
  Now this video isn't a deep dive into Brett Cooper in general
• 4:01
  because I don't quite have the emotional or physical energy for
• 4:04
  that at the minute with my ongoing health issues, which you
• 4:07
  may know about. I hate my uterus.
• 4:10
  That's all I'll say for now. But what I do wanna do is pick
• 4:12
  over one of her latest videos and respond to it.
• 4:15
  This is kind of what I started doing when I first started my
• 4:17
  YouTube channel. I would pick a video and respond
• 4:19
  to it and it was nice and not too deep or emotionally
• 4:23
  impactful. And I thought maybe I'd go back
• 4:25
  and do a few of those again because they feel like what I
• 4:29
  can manage with my workload right now.
• 4:30
  So if you guys are happy with that, I'll probably make a few
• 4:32
  more of this style of video in the coming weeks, if that's OK.
• 4:36
  The one we're going to be responding to today is about her
• 4:39
  hypocritical views about being a woman, dating, marriage and
• 4:43
  motherhood. And there's some really harmful
• 4:45
  stuff in here, but she also has plenty of videos about other
• 4:48
  topics as well. She's very, she is very against
• 4:50
  immigration, she hates trans people, and she is constantly
• 4:53
  belittling famous women who just so happen to be more successful
• 4:57
  and beautiful and talented than her.
• 4:58
  But that's nothing to do with it.
• 4:59
  It's definitely not jealousy. She's just concerned about them.
• 5:03
  So if you'd like to see me cover any of her other videos or any
• 5:06
  of the videos in general, again, leave me a comment below and let
• 5:08
  me know please. But today, the one we're talking
• 5:10
  about is women are wrong about what men really want.
• 5:14
  Which sounds like it will infuriate me from the title
• 5:16
  alone, right? And it's even more annoying when
• 5:19
  you realise that throughout this video, Brett is just constantly
• 5:22
  blaming women for things that are pretty much men's faults.
• 5:26
  It's like men have this flaw and she's like, and then women
• 5:28
  complain about this and how bad is that?
• 5:30
  Because the women are doing it. And it's like, really?
• 5:33
  But that's just like some of the video.
• 5:34
  The rest of it is honestly like quite a muddled mess.
• 5:36
  It's all over the place. And the premise of this video is
• 5:41
  basically about her responding to things she saw on Twitter or
• 5:44
  X, as it's now called, which, you know, is just a hub of
• 5:49
  American anger, hate and bigotry at this point.
• 5:52
  Yet she seems to think it's indicative of every person
• 5:55
  around the world ever. It's like she seems completely
• 5:58
  incapable of understanding that people in other cultures exist.
• 6:02
  So I think that says a lot about Brett in general.
• 6:05
  But let's watch this video. And this is how she opens.
• 6:09
  Well guys, according to X, my husband probably hates my
• 6:13
  postpartum body and is statistically proven to leave
• 6:15
  me. There is a raging debate on X
• 6:18
  right now about women's postpartum bodies, what that
• 6:21
  means for their attractiveness and their marriages, and women
• 6:24
  wanting to have children or being too afraid to have
• 6:26
  children. I mean, yeah, sadly that does
• 6:29
  often happen. There's both stats and plenty of
• 6:32
  anecdotal evidence to suggest that this is true in a lot of
• 6:35
  cases. Not all, of course, but quite a
• 6:37
  lot. Stats also show that, sadly, men
• 6:41
  are more likely to leave their wives if they get a serious
• 6:43
  illness like cancer too. If a man is diagnosed with
• 6:47
  something like cancer, then chances are their wife or
• 6:49
  partner will stay with them. But if a woman gets it,
• 6:52
  especially if it's something like breast cancer or ovarian
• 6:54
  cancer, there's a much higher chance that their male partner
• 6:57
  will leave them. It's a sad statistical truth.
• 7:00
  And again, this is not saying all men will do this.
• 7:03
  Stats aren't prescriptive, they're descriptive, but it's
• 7:06
  something that has happened to plenty of women and continues to
• 7:09
  happen, and it's something that we can't just ignore and pretend
• 7:12
  isn't happening, you know? But what does this have to do
• 7:15
  with the title of the video and this all being women's fault?
• 7:17
  Well, don't worry, we'll get there after a long, long journey
• 7:21
  into Brett's mind. Before then, she needs to make a
• 7:24
  massive deal about a stupid joke some woman made on Twitter like
• 7:29
  it's harmless. But there was one post in
• 7:31
  particular that made me want to talk about this.
• 7:33
  It was a viral tweet from last week from this girl named
• 7:36
  Nicole. And she posted a meme from
• 7:39
  Gossip Girl of Leighton Meester. And she said, y'all really want
• 7:42
  to get married and have sex with the same person for the rest of
• 7:45
  your life? All capital letters, The
• 7:47
  audacity, the insanity. And so that was posted on
• 7:51
  October 5th and it has a whopping 20 million views, 20
• 7:56
  million impressions on X. Yeah, so it got a bunch of views
• 8:00
  and a few thousand likes, but So what?
• 8:02
  It's a joke from someone saying they can't imagine being in a
• 8:05
  monogamous relationship forever and some other non monogamous
• 8:09
  people agreed and found it funny and gave it a like.
• 8:13
  That's all. It doesn't warrant a 20 minute
• 8:16
  video being made about it. You know, maybe it's not even
• 8:18
  just about like non monogamy at all.
• 8:20
  Maybe it's just this person laughing because they know that,
• 8:22
  you know, marriage is a huge commitment and they know it's
• 8:26
  something that they aren't personally ready for at this
• 8:27
  point in their life. And they're chuckling about the
• 8:29
  idea that like, oh, other people are doing that.
• 8:31
  Or, you know, maybe one day I'll do that.
• 8:33
  Isn't it a huge, it's a joke. It's just a harmless silly joke.
• 8:38
  It's not a big deal. It's not that deep.
• 8:41
  This is literally just one woman on Twitter and she is, you know,
• 8:44
  she is representative of a lot of women out there, but she's
• 8:47
  also not representative of a lot of women.
• 8:49
  There are still plenty of people who want that monogamy, they
• 8:52
  want that committed relationship, they want that
• 8:55
  long term marriage and they look forward to it.
• 8:57
  Plenty of people don't. This is just a silly joke for
• 8:59
  them. If it doesn't refer to you, just
• 9:01
  move on. Scroll past it.
• 9:03
  It it's not a big deal. It's not actively judging you in
• 9:06
  any way. It's just this person being
• 9:07
  like, Can you believe? Like it's yeah, it's fine.
• 9:12
  It's like to give you an analogy, right?
• 9:14
  Imagine if I saw a post that was like, imagine not being a cat
• 9:17
  person. And then it had this like little
• 9:19
  GIF reaction thing, right? And then a bunch of people saw
• 9:21
  it and giggled at it because they're like, Oh my God, yeah,
• 9:24
  I'm a cat person too. Imagine not being like this.
• 9:26
  I can totally relate. And they left alike.
• 9:28
  And then I come along and I see this and I personally take
• 9:31
  offence because, well, I'm, I'm not a cat person and I don't
• 9:35
  have a cat and I actually have a dog and I have no desire to have
• 9:38
  a cat. Therefore, this joke on Twitter
• 9:41
  must be personally attacking me and what is wrong with our
• 9:44
  world. This is what's wrong with
• 9:45
  people. This is what feminism's done.
• 9:47
  It's turning people into these cat loving maniacs.
• 9:50
  Isn't this disgusting and disgraceful?
• 9:52
  Let me make a 20 minute video about it.
• 9:55
  Can you imagine that? That's what's happening here?
• 9:59
  And it's not just Brett who's blowing this out of proportion.
• 10:02
  One of these women that I don't know if it's like a friend of
• 10:04
  hers or someone she works with or something like that, but she
• 10:06
  went on and wrote a whole article basically inspired
• 10:10
  predominantly by this tweet and also a Call Her Daddy podcast
• 10:13
  episode. She wrote a whole article for
• 10:16
  Evie Magazine about this. Now I have issues with Evie
• 10:20
  Magazine in and of itself. I have made a whole video about
• 10:23
  it again, if you want to watch it I'll link it below.
• 10:25
  But for now, let's see what Brett and this woman have to
• 10:27
  say. But Gina Florio, who I adore,
• 10:30
  she wrote a great piece about this post in particular for EV
• 10:33
  magazine, where she laid out the argument for commitment for
• 10:36
  marriage and she titled it Is it boring to sleep with one person
• 10:40
  for the rest of your life? The truth behind this viral post
• 10:43
  on X. And in this article, she
• 10:45
  basically talked about why this tweet is so unsurprising in our
• 10:48
  current landscape due to the cultural messages that women
• 10:51
  have received about marriage and sex and what it means to be an
• 10:54
  empowered woman over the last last couple of decades.
• 10:57
  And you know, her article was very spot on about a lot of
• 10:59
  things. She also talked about the
• 11:01
  dangers of promiscuous hookup culture and not having a steady
• 11:04
  partner. OK, there is a lot to unpack
• 11:06
  here, and I mean just from the headline alone, right?
• 11:09
  Is it boring to sleep with one person with the rest of your
• 11:11
  life? I can answer that for you
• 11:13
  without writing a several hundred word article about it.
• 11:15
  For some people, yes, for other people no.
• 11:18
  For other people it depends on who that partner is done.
• 11:22
  No more needs to be said. It's really not a big deal.
• 11:24
  Just let people do what they want.
• 11:27
  I do feel like in general, choice feminism has its
• 11:30
  problems. And I, I am not a choice
• 11:32
  feminist. I would call myself an
• 11:33
  intersectional feminist. But in this case, I think when
• 11:36
  it comes to like, what kind of relationship you want, yeah,
• 11:39
  choice is the important thing. Just let people choose what they
• 11:43
  want. They're not harming anyone.
• 11:45
  It's not a big deal. Go for it, you know?
• 11:49
  And As for that last bit about the dangers of promiscuous
• 11:52
  hookup culture and not having a steady partner, well, that's a
• 11:55
  bit more complicated, isn't it? And all types of relationships
• 11:58
  come with risks and benefits. I think we can all agree on
• 12:01
  that. And I think it should be up to
• 12:03
  the individual to be allowed to figure out for themselves which
• 12:06
  risks to them are worth it and which aren't.
• 12:09
  But before I dive into that a little bit deeper, I decided to
• 12:11
  look up the EV article to see exactly what was said.
• 12:14
  First up, I want to talk about the opening of the article in
• 12:16
  which they mention the podcaster from the Call Her Daddy podcast
• 12:20
  talking about having slept with multiple men.
• 12:22
  It doesn't even say how many. Multiple men could mean three,
• 12:25
  it could mean 300. Could be anywhere in between, it
• 12:27
  doesn't specify. So the article says it's all
• 12:30
  about free sex with whoever you're attracted to, and that
• 12:32
  free sex is marketed as the most fun, fulfilling and erotic sex
• 12:36
  known to womankind. This message has been shoved
• 12:38
  down our throat for decades now. One of the first TV shows that
• 12:41
  package sex in such a way was HB OS Sex in the City, and who
• 12:45
  could forget Samantha in particular?
• 12:47
  And it was all downhill from there.
• 12:48
  Today, women are bred from a young age to believe that having
• 12:51
  sex with just one person for the rest of their lives is one of
• 12:54
  the most boring, devastating endings to an otherwise exciting
• 12:57
  life. I'm sure there are some shows
• 13:00
  that show the positive size of having multiple sexual partners.
• 13:02
  I won't doubt that. I won't deny that I think they
• 13:05
  exist and I think they're a great thing.
• 13:07
  But there's also plenty of media, perhaps the majority,
• 13:10
  which still pushes the idea that we all need to, especially
• 13:13
  women, find the one and settle down.
• 13:16
  That is still the majority of media kind of unfortunately.
• 13:21
  You know the idea that kids are being indoctrinated from a young
• 13:24
  age to think they need multiple partners is wild since in the
• 13:27
  past kids have constantly been told, myself included when I was
• 13:30
  younger, that we need to settle down and find the 1 as soon as
• 13:33
  possible. Just look at almost every single
• 13:35
  Disney film from before 2010 as an example.
• 13:39
  Name 1 Disney Princess before Merida who didn't settle down
• 13:43
  and find the one while she was still a teenager, you know what
• 13:46
  I mean? But for some reason
• 13:48
  conservatives don't see that as propaganda or indoctrination or
• 13:52
  pushing an agenda just because it matches their own.
• 13:55
  The fact is that kids are influenced from all the media
• 13:57
  they see from a young age, and that includes the ones telling
• 13:59
  them get married, have kids as young as possible.
• 14:03
  You know these Disney love stories, the ROM coms, the idea
• 14:07
  that like so much media is centred around finding your
• 14:09
  person, the one getting married, doing all this stuff.
• 14:12
  Like, kids do take that in as much as they would take in.
• 14:16
  See, Well, I don't know why a kid is watching Sex and the
• 14:18
  City. That doesn't really happen, but
• 14:19
  do you know what I mean? Yeah.
• 14:22
  Anyway. But the fact is, now that we
• 14:24
  have media that is more diverse than ever, and we'll talk a
• 14:26
  little bit more about that later, but different media
• 14:29
  promotes different values, and this is a good thing.
• 14:32
  Different media shows different lifestyles and the pros and cons
• 14:35
  of each which is a good thing. Plenty of films and TV and books
• 14:39
  show the darker sides of monogamy too and plenty show the
• 14:42
  darker sides of non monogamy. Again, this is a good thing to
• 14:45
  show the whole spectrum of experiences.
• 14:48
  It's good that there is a mix out there showing different
• 14:51
  opinions and the pros and cons of each so each person can watch
• 14:54
  them and say oh I like this about this, I don't like this
• 14:57
  about this. Maybe in my own life I could try
• 14:59
  this, this and this because I see there are options available.
• 15:02
  I know I have options. I'm going to choose my option.
• 15:06
  It's that simple. Anyway, going back to the
• 15:08
  article and the bit in regards to the dangers of promiscuity,
• 15:12
  it says having multiple sexual partners has been consistently
• 15:14
  identified as a significant risk for acquiring sexually
• 15:17
  transmitted infections such as HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and
• 15:21
  HPV. Because HPV is a sexually
• 15:24
  transmitted virus, the likelihood of exposure increases
• 15:27
  proportionally with the number of sexual partners.
• 15:30
  Yeah, this is true, but you can also mitigate these risks
• 15:32
  through quality sex education and making contraceptives easily
• 15:36
  available if you are using condoms.
• 15:38
  If you are regularly getting tested and asking to see the
• 15:41
  results of any sexual partners tests before you engage in
• 15:44
  sexual activity with them, then you can reduce your chance of
• 15:47
  catching an STI. The number of partners may be
• 15:50
  correlated with an increased risk of STI, but it's not the
• 15:53
  cause of an increased risk of, but it's not the cause of you
• 15:57
  getting an STI. The cause of getting an STI is
• 16:01
  risky or irresponsible sexual behaviour.
• 16:03
  And sure, there may be a correlation between people
• 16:05
  having more sexual partners and engaging in more risky sexual
• 16:08
  behaviour. But in that case the answer
• 16:11
  isn't to tell people, well, don't have this many partners.
• 16:14
  It's to say don't engage in risky sexual behaviour.
• 16:17
  It's as simple as that. Teaching people that they need
• 16:20
  to use condoms, they need to get regular tests, they need to ask
• 16:23
  their partners to get tested and see the results of those tests.
• 16:27
  These are how you mitigate and reduce the risks of getting an
• 16:30
  STI. Your number of partners may be,
• 16:33
  you know, if you have this many partners, you're more likely to
• 16:35
  do this. But again, that's a descriptive
• 16:37
  correlation, not a prescriptive 1 The prescriptive is if you
• 16:42
  engage in these risky behaviours, you're more likely
• 16:44
  to get an STI. That's prescriptive.
• 16:46
  Does does that make sense? The risky behaviour is the cause
• 16:50
  of a chance of St is not the number of partners themselves.
• 16:53
  So if you have unprotected sex so that that's sex without a
• 16:57
  condom, without getting tested yourself, without having a
• 16:59
  partner getting tested. If you have risky unprotected
• 17:02
  sex with one partner, you are still at higher risk of catching
• 17:05
  an STI from them than if you have safe, responsible sex with
• 17:09
  three 5/10/20 partners. And even if you do have this one
• 17:13
  partner for life like Brett Cooper wants you to have, this
• 17:16
  does not mean that you are free of catching STI's.
• 17:19
  If your partner has had in the past or continues to engage in
• 17:22
  risky sexual behaviour, then you might still be at risk even
• 17:26
  though you think you're doing everything right.
• 17:28
  If your partner isn't and you don't know for sure whether they
• 17:31
  are or not, you can still be at risk.
• 17:33
  Other infections like HPV, they call it a sexually transmitted
• 17:36
  infection because it can be passed on sexually, but it can
• 17:39
  also be caught and passed on without any actual sexual
• 17:41
  contact. It can be passed on through just
• 17:43
  physical contact in general. Other issues, for example,
• 17:46
  crabs, again, this can be passed on sexually, but it also can be
• 17:50
  passed on just through other contact.
• 17:51
  For example, if you share clothes to someone who has
• 17:54
  crabs, then you can catch crabs of them, kind of like head lice,
• 17:56
  you know? So, so this idea that like, if
• 17:59
  you, if you do this one thing and you're monogamous and you do
• 18:01
  this and this and this, you will never get an STI is untrue.
• 18:05
  There's still always a risk. Having one sexual partner does
• 18:09
  not make you immune to health problems.
• 18:12
  And also we have to think about, you know, there are, and it's,
• 18:15
  it's sad to say, there's a chance that people may end up
• 18:18
  being raped and catching a STI that way.
• 18:21
  I think in general, like the demonisation of STI's is a
• 18:24
  really, really bad thing. And this is something that I
• 18:26
  very briefly touched on in my Hunting Adeline video, but how
• 18:30
  do I work? This isn't in my script.
• 18:32
  I'm going off script here. Now this demonisation that like
• 18:35
  you can't have multiple sexual partners because you will get an
• 18:37
  STI. And then this is terrible.
• 18:39
  And it demonises STI's in general and makes them out to be
• 18:43
  dirty. It implies that the people who
• 18:45
  get them are dirty or wrong or immoral in some way.
• 18:49
  And that's just not true. An STI, like any other kind of
• 18:52
  infection, is just a health problem.
• 18:55
  And there are certain ways we can catch it, just as there are
• 18:57
  certain ways we can catch other infections.
• 18:59
  Like, you know, you don't blame someone if they go sit on a busy
• 19:03
  train and come back with a cold, do you?
• 19:04
  And I'm, I'm snuffly and sniffly right now from being down in
• 19:08
  London last weekend, like, but you're not going to blame me and
• 19:10
  tell me I'm dirty and irresponsible because, well, you
• 19:13
  know, you chose to leave the house.
• 19:14
  You chose to open yourself up to that risk of infection.
• 19:17
  Oh, you know, if you don't want to get that cold, don't, don't
• 19:20
  leave the house, don't go on a trip.
• 19:22
  You know, I mean, no one's going to say that yet.
• 19:24
  We demonise STI's in a different way because they are inherently
• 19:27
  tied to our ideas around sexual morality and mostly shaming and
• 19:31
  policing women for having a sexual identity of their own.
• 19:36
  You know, STI's, like anything else, are health issues that
• 19:41
  need treatment and it's as simple as that.
• 19:43
  Most of them are treatable or manageable.
• 19:46
  They're not anything bad or dirty or wrong.
• 19:49
  They're just a normal part of life.
• 19:52
  Some people have STI's, some people won't.
• 19:55
  As long as you are safe and you're regularly getting
• 19:57
  checked, you're regularly going for treatment if you need it,
• 20:00
  that is all we can ask of you. There is, you know.
• 20:03
  It doesn't reflect on your character or your morals.
• 20:05
  If you have any kind of health issue like that, it's not a
• 20:08
  problem. It's not a big deal.
• 20:10
  It's not something bad. It's a thing that people just
• 20:13
  deal with anyway. Sorry, I don't know if that made
• 20:16
  sense. I was a bit off script there.
• 20:18
  What were you talking about? Pros and cons?
• 20:20
  Yeah. So yes, when you have any sexual
• 20:23
  partner, health problems like that are a risk.
• 20:26
  That's fine. And you have to weigh up whether
• 20:27
  you want to open yourself up to those risks when you engage in a
• 20:30
  sexual relationship with anyone, right?
• 20:32
  That's fine. You have your pros, you have
• 20:34
  your cons. You figure it out, you decide if
• 20:36
  it's worth the risk to you. But it's the same in monogamous
• 20:38
  relationships as well. You know, having one partner for
• 20:41
  life, for example, can have its benefits for some people and it
• 20:44
  can have its cons for others. For example, if you feel you
• 20:47
  need to stick with them throughout anything else and you
• 20:48
  don't feel like you have that option to leave, that comes with
• 20:51
  its own. It might mean that people feel
• 20:54
  unable to leave a physically or emotionally abusive
• 20:56
  relationship. Some people who feel they have
• 20:59
  to stick with the first partner they've ever had report levels
• 21:02
  of lower sexual satisfaction. Some people report higher levels
• 21:05
  of mental health issues like depression and so on.
• 21:07
  Again, like, again, not everyone, just like not everyone
• 21:10
  with multiple partners will have STI's.
• 21:13
  It's just these are risks that you open yourself up to when you
• 21:17
  choose a certain kind of relationship.
• 21:18
  And again, it's up to the individual to weigh these all up
• 21:22
  and say, well, yeah, start say this and show this and this.
• 21:26
  But what about me? What am I doing to keep myself
• 21:28
  safe? What do I know about my partner
• 21:31
  and their personality, their health, their history, their
• 21:35
  this, this, this, this and you weigh up and you say, well, here
• 21:39
  are the pros and here are the cons.
• 21:40
  And this is what I want, therefore I'm going to choose X.
• 21:44
  It's as simple as that. There's no one Safeway to do
• 21:49
  relationships, you know, everything comes with risks and
• 21:52
  rewards and it should be up to the individual to figure out
• 21:54
  what is the right way for them. And you know what, sometimes
• 21:58
  they go into something and they realise actually you know what,
• 21:59
  this isn't the right way. For me, I thought it was.
• 22:01
  I weighed everything up. I, I made my choice and it's not
• 22:03
  right. And they should absolutely be
• 22:06
  able to change their mind and try something else.
• 22:08
  The UV article though then gets more ridiculous by saying
• 22:11
  further evidence supports the connection between partner count
• 22:14
  and adverse health outcomes. A cross-sectional study of
• 22:17
  adults aged 50 and older in England revealed that those who
• 22:19
  reported 10 or more lifetime sexual partners had
• 22:22
  significantly higher odds of having been diagnosed with
• 22:25
  cancer compared to those who had one or no sexual partners,
• 22:29
  approximately 1.19 times higher for women and 1.69 times higher
• 22:33
  for men. The same study found that women
• 22:35
  with 10 or more partners were more likely to report a limiting
• 22:37
  long term illness, with an odds ratio of 1.64.
• 22:42
  Similarly, commentary in the BMJ Sexual and Reproductive Health
• 22:46
  highlighted that a number highlighted that a high number
• 22:49
  of sexual partners was linked to an increased risk in chronic
• 22:51
  disease overall, further emphasising the long term
• 22:54
  physical health implications of multiple sexual partners.
• 22:57
  So because of a handful of these studies showed a correlation,
• 23:00
  the authors like see there is a causal link but that's not how
• 23:03
  any of this works. I read these studies and nowhere
• 23:06
  does it say oh if you have X number of partners or above you
• 23:09
  will get cancer. This does cause cancer.
• 23:12
  Nowhere does it say that. Instead, one paper highlighted
• 23:16
  those with a higher number of sexual partners were more likely
• 23:18
  to report smoking, frequent alcohol intake, and engaging in
• 23:21
  physical activity on a weekly basis.
• 23:23
  So the people more likely to have a higher number of sexual
• 23:26
  partners were also likely to do things like smoke or do
• 23:30
  exercise. Does that mean that the more
• 23:32
  partners you have, the more exercise you do and more
• 23:34
  partners cause you to exercise more?
• 23:36
  No, it means there's a correlation between the two.
• 23:39
  So people more likely to do X are also more likely to do Y.
• 23:43
  This is a correlation, but not a causal link.
• 23:45
  And some of these activities, like smoking, are more likely to
• 23:48
  cause health issues, for example.
• 23:50
  So while there might be a correlation between number of
• 23:53
  partners in smoking, the causal link is between smoking and, for
• 23:58
  example, lung cancer. So you might be able to say
• 24:01
  there's a correlation between number of partners and lung
• 24:03
  cancer, but that's not causal. It's not the number of partners
• 24:07
  that's causing the lung cancer, it's the smoking that's causing.
• 24:10
  Do you understand what I mean? Correlation and causation are
• 24:14
  sometimes linked, but they are different and separate.
• 24:18
  Just as this study shows, there's a correlation between
• 24:21
  people more likely to have a higher number of sexual partners
• 24:24
  and do a lot more physical activity and exercise, right?
• 24:26
  Higher levels of physical activity and exercise lead to
• 24:29
  things like healthier hearts, for example, as you age.
• 24:31
  So if we're using the same logic as the writers of this EV
• 24:35
  article, then the higher number of sexual partners you have, the
• 24:38
  healthier your heart is going to be.
• 24:39
  Except it doesn't work like that, does it?
• 24:41
  Because there's a correlation, but it's not causation it and of
• 24:46
  course they wouldn't use that one because it doesn't fit their
• 24:48
  agenda. OK, editing leave hopping in.
• 24:49
  So if you're still not convinced by this, there is a whole
• 24:51
  website called Spurious Correlations, which is dedicated
• 24:56
  to showing that crumbles, dedicated to showing that there
• 25:01
  can be ridiculous and, you know, uncanny correlations between
• 25:06
  bits of data that aren't actually connectors.
• 25:09
  They aren't causal links. So the top one on here at the
• 25:11
  minute is there is a correlation between Google searches for
• 25:15
  Batman and the number of security guards in Oklahoma.
• 25:18
  There is a very, very close correlation between the
• 25:21
  popularity of the first name Franklin and the season rating
• 25:24
  of 2 1/2 men. So correlations can happen
• 25:28
  without it being a causal link. And I think this is very, very
• 25:31
  important to remember if you want to check out this website.
• 25:33
  It's really fun. I will leave it in the source
• 25:36
  document as well. So now you've got a lot to say,
• 25:39
  don't you, baby? You say hi to people.
• 25:42
  Oh, there's my baby there, and you've got a bit of kind of
• 25:45
  monster there as well. It's cold today so I'd wrapped
• 25:50
  her in a blanket, although she's just picked it off so we'll see
• 25:53
  how it goes. One paper literally ends by
• 25:56
  saying more research is necessary to determine whether a
• 25:59
  causal relationship exists, while the other ends with
• 26:03
  inquiring about the number of sexual partners a patient has
• 26:05
  had. Maybe a simple and cost
• 26:07
  effective complement to existing cancer screening programmes in
• 26:11
  identifying those at risk of certain cancers, although
• 26:13
  further work is required first in order to replicate our
• 26:17
  findings and establish whether a causal relationship exists.
• 26:22
  And that's another thing, these studies weren't done to shame
• 26:24
  people and say you shouldn't have X number of sexual
• 26:26
  partners. They were done to say, is there
• 26:28
  a really easy way we can just screen out people who might be
• 26:31
  more at risk of cancer so we can target them to do testing and
• 26:34
  help their health early. And yet people like the right as
• 26:37
  AEV have been like, Oh well, actually we can use it to shame
• 26:40
  people and tell them we need to do this, this and this and
• 26:43
  police our sexual behaviour. And it's really messed up.
• 26:46
  It's kind of like a weaponization of science, you
• 26:49
  know? And the other thing to note is
• 26:51
  that, and this isn't in my script, I've literally just
• 26:53
  realised it now as I'm, I'm reading this again and the main
• 26:58
  study here that they're looking at was done on a cross section
• 27:01
  of adults aged 50 and older in England.
• 27:04
  Now adults aged 50 and older in England in the past did not have
• 27:08
  good sex education. They did not have access to the
• 27:11
  things that people like I had when I was a teenager.
• 27:13
  You know, we were given out things like free condoms when we
• 27:17
  needed them. We had free STI check UPS
• 27:19
  regularly up to the age of like 25 and a lot, well that was just
• 27:22
  in certain clinics here in the UK.
• 27:24
  I'm still going to get a free STI test anytime I want from my
• 27:26
  local GP. It's not an issue and they give
• 27:30
  out free condoms as well. Last time I came back with a bag
• 27:32
  of 20, it was great. So contraceptives are still
• 27:36
  cheap and sometimes free and easily available in the UK,
• 27:40
  right? SEI testing is now cheap and
• 27:43
  free and easily available in the UK, especially to young people.
• 27:46
  Our sex education, sex education is now pretty.
• 27:49
  It's not perfect, it's not even proven in places, but it's
• 27:51
  getting better. For these people who are age 50
• 27:54
  and older, they had none of that when they were young.
• 27:56
  This was not a thing. Therefore, of course, it's not
• 28:00
  surprising that older people who had more sexual partners were
• 28:03
  more at risk of health problems and St IS and other things
• 28:07
  associated with it because they didn't have the educational
• 28:09
  results they need to mitigate the risks.
• 28:12
  I'm not sure we would see the same correlation with young
• 28:16
  people today when they get older.
• 28:18
  Do you know what I mean? I don't know if it made sense
• 28:20
  there. This is why I script, because
• 28:22
  otherwise my thoughts are jumbled.
• 28:24
  But I hope, I hope that makes sense.
• 28:27
  I think in summary, it's very simple.
• 28:29
  If you want to have a bunch of sexual partners, you go for it.
• 28:32
  That's fine. Just be safe and healthy and
• 28:34
  look after yourself and your partner or partners.
• 28:36
  If you don't, then don't do it. It's not that not that
• 28:40
  difficult. You don't want to have multiple
• 28:42
  partners, don't have multiple partners, That's fine.
• 28:44
  Move on. But anyway, enough of this
• 28:48
  nonsense. Let's get back to Brett, who
• 28:50
  actually she tries to be positive here.
• 28:52
  She says that she thinks the tides are changing and that
• 28:54
  there's starting to be a push away from encouraging everyone
• 28:56
  to be a dirty, dirty whore. I promise you, it does feel like
• 29:02
  things are starting to change. And her evidence?
• 29:05
  What pop stars are getting married?
• 29:07
  And that's never, ever, ever, ever ever happened before.
• 29:10
  Taylor Swift is engaged. Charlie XCX got married.
• 29:14
  Shocking. No no famous woman has ever got
• 29:17
  married for the last 30 years have come on.
• 29:21
  It's ridiculous. Women have always got married
• 29:25
  and celebrated their relationships and some women
• 29:27
  haven't. This is absolutely fine.
• 29:29
  Like, do you not remember the whole thing from between like,
• 29:33
  what, the 2000s and actually probably still to today where
• 29:38
  like, famous women would sell their engagement photos to
• 29:41
  magazines and their wedding photos and things like this
• 29:43
  because it was a big deal and they could make money out of
• 29:46
  this. And it was celebrated.
• 29:47
  And people are interested in seeing their relationships.
• 29:50
  This has always, always happened once again.
• 29:53
  Like it's good to have people to look up to, like celebrities who
• 29:57
  are in all kinds of relationships and have all kinds
• 29:59
  of lifestyles, married women, women with tonnes of babies,
• 30:03
  single women, women with multiple partners, child free
• 30:06
  women and everyone in between. I think the asexual women as
• 30:09
  well. And we don't necessarily have as
• 30:12
  much representation for some of those.
• 30:15
  I guess how do I say minorities, But you know, like the more
• 30:18
  unique circumstances that aren't quite mainstream.
• 30:23
  I think we don't really have as much celebrity representation
• 30:25
  for them, but we have some. And I think it's important that
• 30:29
  we have all of this representation.
• 30:31
  I think it's good to see everyone because then everyone
• 30:33
  has someone they can look up to a bit.
• 30:34
  You know, I still feel like my brain is so foggy.
• 30:37
  I hope I'm making sense. Getting engaged very publicly
• 30:40
  saying that I'm so excited to be married, writing songs about it
• 30:43
  after they have been pining for this kind of relationship for a
• 30:47
  majority of their careers. I mean, I feel like this might
• 30:50
  just be referring to Taylor Swift, but yeah.
• 30:52
  And good for her. She's getting what she wants.
• 30:55
  I just find it so confusing that Brett is praising this and being
• 30:58
  like, yeah, this is great. You shout about your marriage in
• 31:01
  front of other women and young kids, and you encourage them to
• 31:03
  do the same. But the moment a singer or a
• 31:07
  celebrity or someone says, no, I'm happy being single or Nah,
• 31:11
  yeah, I have numerous relationships.
• 31:13
  It's great. Or even just like, Nah, I've
• 31:15
  decided I don't ever want kids. Then suddenly Brett is and other
• 31:19
  conservative women are calling them out and saying that
• 31:21
  they're, you know, indoctrinating kids and
• 31:23
  spreading evil and me, me, me, you've got the devil inside you,
• 31:26
  All that stuff. A woman saying I want to get
• 31:29
  married and then getting married is a good thing, but a woman?
• 31:31
  But somehow a woman behaving in the exact same way but saying,
• 31:34
  Nah, I don't fancy getting married, don't fancy having
• 31:36
  kids. It's somehow a child corrupting
• 31:39
  evil propaganda. It doesn't make sense.
• 31:44
  It is ridiculous. Now another example of how
• 31:47
  things are changing are the fact that shows like Sex in the City
• 31:50
  and Girls that were almost grotesque in their portrayal of
• 31:54
  casual sex and dysfunctional, unhealthy romantic relationships
• 31:57
  have majorly declined in popularity.
• 32:00
  Like I was doing some research this morning, I do not know of
• 32:03
  another show right now that is currently airing that is very
• 32:07
  popular that resembles either of those two shows in the
• 32:10
  slightest. Whereas women today are watching
• 32:13
  shows like Nobody Wants This, which is about fighting for
• 32:15
  love, fighting for a committed relationship across cultural and
• 32:18
  religious lines. Or probably the best example are
• 32:22
  shows like The Summer I Turn Pretty, which is a sweet, gushy
• 32:27
  YATV show, and these adult women are watching the show.
• 32:30
  They're waiting with bated breath to figure out how a
• 32:33
  youthful teenage love triangle turns out.
• 32:36
  Yeah, but shows like this have always, always existed, even
• 32:39
  when Sex and the City was on the air, even when Girls was airing,
• 32:42
  just as shows about other kinds of lifestyles and relationships
• 32:44
  continue to exist. I just the cherry prick, The
• 32:50
  cherry picking from Brett is I can't cope with it.
• 32:55
  I can't. Let's look at some examples.
• 32:57
  Wanderlust was the show about an open marriage.
• 32:59
  Twenty 20s Trigonometry was about a throuple.
• 33:02
  Even just last year in 2024, one of the most popular films of the
• 33:05
  years was Challenges, which was about a kind of non traditional
• 33:08
  relationship and a sort of not quite but almost throuple
• 33:11
  situation. Sex education only finished I
• 33:15
  think it was last year, and that was about all different kinds of
• 33:17
  sexual and non sexual relationships between people.
• 33:20
  We had asexual representation, we had all sorts.
• 33:23
  It was great. Right now the like season of
• 33:25
  Euphoria is being made where let's be honest, everyone is
• 33:28
  kind of sleeping with everyone. Well, not quite.
• 33:30
  It's not quite like Skins was, but you know what I mean?
• 33:33
  There's a lot of, let's call it adventurous sexual behaviour on
• 33:37
  there and on the opposite end too, even when Sex and the City
• 33:43
  was on air, for example. So let's look at its original
• 33:45
  run in the what was it late 90s, early 2000s, where Brett claims
• 33:49
  everyone was so anti monogamy and love stories were Boo Boo,
• 33:53
  Boo, Boo Boo and like love stories would disgusting and the
• 33:57
  devil. You never see the like.
• 33:58
  No, actually during that time we got some of the most iconic ROM
• 34:02
  coms and just romantic films in general of all time.
• 34:05
  Notting Hill 10 things I hate about you, Serendipity, You've
• 34:08
  got mail all came out while sex and the City was airing.
• 34:12
  Like they're all pushing this narrative that you need to find
• 34:15
  the one and find true love and settle down and that is the key
• 34:18
  to your happiness. There's no consistency to
• 34:21
  Brett's arguments. It's like she's like, it's like
• 34:24
  she wants to be like, oh, at this point there was this and at
• 34:26
  this point there's this. And so she just cherry picks
• 34:29
  media from these points and tries to claim that all media
• 34:31
  was like this and she's missing out on so much and she's missing
• 34:34
  out on the nuance. Why almost every Woman you know
• 34:37
  is obsessed with the summer I Turned pretty.
• 34:40
  And the reasons probably won't surprise you.
• 34:42
  Because they are natural. Because they are normal.
• 34:44
  Because they are almost biological in nature.
• 34:47
  Didn't say almost biological. They are biological in nature.
• 34:50
  She goes on to claim that women are turning back to hetero,
• 34:53
  monogamous ROM coms because they are natural, normal, biological
• 34:57
  things for women to want, which is absolutely true of some
• 35:00
  women, but not all women. And that's why I think it's
• 35:04
  great that we have a variety of TV programmes and films and
• 35:08
  media which show what is natural, normal and biological
• 35:11
  for other people. People have loved seeing media
• 35:15
  which portrays people of different sexualities and
• 35:17
  different sexual behaviours and different identities.
• 35:19
  More shows than ever show how natural and normal it is, to use
• 35:23
  Brett's words, you know, natural and normal and biological.
• 35:26
  They show how that is normal to be queer or asexual or trans.
• 35:30
  They show that this is normal and natural for so many people
• 35:34
  because it is, and it has appealed to people because it's
• 35:37
  natural and normal to them. It's good to see people like
• 35:42
  yourself on TV. Now if we're talking about
• 35:44
  mainstream programmes that have as much appeal and hype around
• 35:47
  them as what Brett likes, which is the summer I turn pretty
• 35:50
  disclaimer, I've not seen it so I can't comment on it, but I
• 35:53
  know it's got a lot of mainstream appeal.
• 35:54
  I know there's a lot of hype. Other TV that's have that same
• 35:57
  hyper mainstream appeal that contains queer characters and so
• 35:59
  on. You've got one of the main
• 36:02
  characters in Shits Creek was pansexual Sex Education and
• 36:05
  Heart Stopper. They were both huge and they
• 36:07
  have massive queer representation, asexual
• 36:10
  representation, all sorts. And and that's just scratching
• 36:12
  the surface. It's important to show that all
• 36:15
  these variations are just as natural and normal as monogamy
• 36:20
  and heterosexuality is because they are.
• 36:23
  And when people ask for more queer representation or for
• 36:26
  example, to show more single people on TV or to show more
• 36:29
  child free people on TV, for example, it's not asking for
• 36:33
  Petro monogamous couples with children to be erased.
• 36:36
  It's just asking for fair representation of everyone.
• 36:40
  And I don't think Brett understands that she's very all
• 36:42
  or nothing. But it's like, it's, oh, I can't
• 36:46
  remember who said it, but there's a quote I always come
• 36:48
  back to in my videos, which is something like when you're so
• 36:53
  used to like being on top, equality starts to feel like
• 36:57
  oppression. And I feel like that's what
• 36:59
  Brett's experiencing suddenly because, you know, she's not
• 37:01
  seeing people like her in 100% of places.
• 37:04
  And now maybe it's only 50% of places.
• 37:06
  Suddenly she's like, Oh my God, I'm being oppressed.
• 37:08
  It's no, you're not Now you're just experiencing equality.
• 37:12
  Oppression was when queer people or asexual people or single
• 37:17
  people didn't see themselves represented in a positive light
• 37:21
  on TV. That's oppression.
• 37:23
  Being told you're abnormal, that's oppression.
• 37:26
  Having to share the screen with other people and how people say
• 37:30
  this is all normal and healthy is not oppression.
• 37:33
  I mean, Can you imagine how shocking this is?
• 37:36
  Is this? Is this a surprise to anyone
• 37:38
  that women still dream of happily ever after and love?
• 37:42
  No, it's not surprising at all. Plenty of people want this, as
• 37:46
  feminists, for example, have always said.
• 37:48
  I just think, I just think it's important that, and I say this
• 37:52
  as a feminist, that we show that love and happily ever after
• 37:55
  looks different for different people.
• 37:58
  Half of Brett's video is then just ads for blankets and debt.
• 38:03
  So that's well, like debt consolidation or debt manager.
• 38:06
  I don't know something I skipped it.
• 38:09
  And a lot, lot of ads in there for such a short video though.
• 38:12
  And then she goes on about how ROM coms are making a comeback,
• 38:15
  which yeah, is true. I do think they kind of like
• 38:18
  there was a lull for a while where they weren't as popular.
• 38:20
  But I also think it's more nuanced than Brett says.
• 38:24
  And certain ROM coms have always remained popular and have always
• 38:28
  been made at the same steady rate.
• 38:30
  For example, the typical innocent purity focused Hallmark
• 38:34
  romance films and where you know you the love interest don't even
• 38:38
  kiss until the last minute of the film.
• 38:40
  And even then it's not always shown on screen.
• 38:42
  And they've always been around. They absolutely have.
• 38:44
  And they've never really like gone away.
• 38:45
  They've maintained their steady popularity throughout the for
• 38:48
  years and I have to admit, even I have a soft spot for those
• 38:52
  romance films. Sometimes.
• 38:53
  Like when I'm feeling down and I just need something mindless on
• 38:56
  in the background, I will sometimes put on a Hallmark ROM
• 38:59
  com. Even though they all have the
• 39:00
  same story, they all have the same characters, the same thing
• 39:03
  happens in each of them and the settings are so unrealistic and
• 39:05
  no one understands how any of these jobs or industries that
• 39:08
  they put them in work. There's something quite
• 39:10
  comforting about them. That's my guilty pleasure, I'll
• 39:13
  tell you that. But if we want to talk about,
• 39:15
  yeah, the more mainstream kind of typical ROM com that
• 39:17
  dominated the cinema in the early 2000s, even into the early
• 39:21
  20 tens. There was a bit of a lull for a
• 39:23
  while from about maybe 2015 onwards into the early twenty
• 39:26
  20s where we didn't see as many ROM coms in the cinema.
• 39:29
  There are a few still, but they weren't that big and they have
• 39:32
  kind of start to come back a little bit and be a little bit
• 39:34
  bigger and have bigger budgets and be taken a bit more
• 39:36
  seriously. But The thing is like what's
• 39:39
  really nice is that a lot of these films with a romantic
• 39:42
  storyline and romantic leads and the focus is on the relationship
• 39:45
  and the romance. Turns out they are just more
• 39:47
  diverse than they've ever been and that's fantastic.
• 39:49
  You have films like Challengers I mentioned earlier focusing on
• 39:52
  relationships that are a lot more complex than just boy meets
• 39:55
  girl. They get together, the end and
• 39:58
  you have films like Red White and Royal Blue focusing on gay
• 40:01
  relationships. Good luck to you, Leo Grande,
• 40:04
  which focuses on male sex work and an older woman's sexual
• 40:08
  desires and appetite. You know, these are films with
• 40:12
  the relationship between the characters at the core.
• 40:14
  And these are mainstream films that were put on in the cinema
• 40:17
  and had massive appeal. But they're more diverse than
• 40:20
  just boy meets girl married, have babies.
• 40:23
  Even your more traditional boy meets girl films, though they
• 40:25
  still exist and again, they're getting a lot more budget now,
• 40:28
  but they're also more complex. So you have films like Irish
• 40:32
  Wish with Lindsay Lohan where the protagonist is chasing after
• 40:36
  this one man and she thinks he's her true love, but it ends up
• 40:39
  being the wrong relationship for her and she ends up falling in
• 40:43
  love with someone else. So this can be representative of
• 40:45
  a woman who chases after someone and then realises they're wrong
• 40:48
  and goes after someone else and she has this complex dating
• 40:51
  history before finding the one you know.
• 40:54
  Other examples would be like Sydney Sweeney's Anyone But You,
• 40:57
  which opens with casual sex and you get a full on explicit sex
• 41:01
  scene in the middle of the film. And then there's complexities to
• 41:04
  it, but ultimately it is boy meets girl, they fall in love,
• 41:07
  they get together, boom. That's your typical ROM com.
• 41:10
  But it's not focused on this whole, like, purity culture,
• 41:14
  pushing, saving yourself to a marriage narrative.
• 41:17
  So I think, yeah, ROM coms are having a resurgence and romantic
• 41:21
  films in general are having a resurgence, but it's a lot more
• 41:25
  diverse than it used to be. And this is only a good thing.
• 41:29
  Anyway, she then decides to bring it all back to that post
• 41:31
  in the beginning about the woman not wanting one partner for life
• 41:34
  and she says this. I actually did not see a single
• 41:37
  person after 20 million impressions echoing or
• 41:41
  supporting what that girl said. In fact, most of them were
• 41:44
  actually just making fun of her. Yeah, it's almost like on a
• 41:47
  conservative platform like Twitter, the majority of people
• 41:49
  will have conservative values. How wild.
• 41:53
  How shocking. But again, I don't see Brett's
• 41:55
  point here. Surely, again, this just shows
• 41:57
  that different people want different things, and that's
• 42:00
  more than OK. I don't see a problem with this.
• 42:03
  One comment read why would I want to have sex with different
• 42:06
  people? That's effing gross.
• 42:07
  Another person basically used her same meme format and said
• 42:11
  y'all really want to avoid committing yourself to one
• 42:13
  person to instead have sex with dozens of strangers till you're
• 42:15
  like 40 and then be all alone and miserable for the rest of
• 42:18
  your life. Yeah oh that's gross.
• 42:20
  You might think settling down and being in love and having
• 42:22
  somebody commit to you was disgusting, but I would make the
• 42:25
  same Gossip Girl Layton Meester face at you hooking up with
• 42:28
  random people until you are old and they move on to people who
• 42:31
  are younger. Like sorry that genuinely is
• 42:33
  gross. That is genuinely how I feel.
• 42:36
  Yeah, look, if you think it's gross, just don't do it.
• 42:38
  There's no need to shame other people for it though, is there?
• 42:40
  Simple as that. I think eating sweet corn is
• 42:43
  gross and disgusting and even the thought of it makes me want
• 42:46
  to vomit. And if I smell sweet corn near
• 42:48
  me I'm like start gagging. It's disgusting.
• 42:50
  But I'm not going to make a 20 minute video telling people they
• 42:52
  should feel ashamed for eating sweet corn, calling them the
• 42:55
  names for it, and trying to get the law changed so sweet corn is
• 42:58
  no longer served in the UK. Am I?
• 43:00
  Oh actually maybe I should do that.
• 43:02
  Down with sweet corn. If anyone would like to join my
• 43:04
  anti sweet corn protest please leave me a comment below and
• 43:07
  I'll let you know the dates of the protest we will all be
• 43:09
  making signs. Down with corn is a great one.
• 43:13
  Corn kills is another. I lost my husband to corn.
• 43:17
  That's going to be on there. And As for that last comment,
• 43:21
  it's just ignorant isn't it? Being alone doesn't mean lonely.
• 43:25
  Plenty of people find love after 40.
• 43:27
  And just because you've had X number of sexual partners in the
• 43:29
  past, that doesn't stop you from wanting a long term partner at
• 43:32
  some point or being able to find a long term partner at some
• 43:34
  point. It's really funny because I get
• 43:36
  so many men shaming me online being like, oh, you think they
• 43:39
  call me like And I've never disclosed anything like any
• 43:42
  specifics about my sexual history or past because that's
• 43:45
  my business. It's absolutely no one's
• 43:47
  business but my own, and yet people still make assumptions
• 43:49
  about me and a lot of men send me comments calling me like a
• 43:52
  whore, a slut, a slag, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
• 43:56
  Hoe is a big one. I get hoe quite a lot.
• 43:58
  And The thing is like, it doesn't really bother me because
• 43:59
  there are never words I would use to describe myself.
• 44:02
  I am very comfortable with the choices I've made in regards to
• 44:06
  my sexuality. And I don't think anyone who has
• 44:10
  any number of sexual partners is a slag or a slut or a whore or a
• 44:14
  hoe or whatever, you know what I mean?
• 44:17
  So I just feel like them using those words describe me, says
• 44:19
  more about them than it does about me.
• 44:21
  So it doesn't really bother me at this point.
• 44:22
  But the point I was going to make is I got so many of these
• 44:25
  men telling me that like, oh, they wouldn't ever want to date
• 44:27
  me. I'm like, that's fine.
• 44:29
  If you call me a whore, I don't want to date you either.
• 44:32
  That's that's absolutely fine. I don't want to date anyone who
• 44:34
  uses those words about women. And I've told you before, I
• 44:37
  walked out on a date with a man because one of the first things
• 44:39
  he said to me was calling his step sisters massive slags.
• 44:42
  And I was like, can you not? Like I stayed for about an hour
• 44:45
  because I was like, you know what?
• 44:47
  Maybe he's just being edgy and nervous.
• 44:49
  He wasn't. He only got more misogynistic,
• 44:51
  so I left. God, I'm getting so sidetracked
• 44:53
  that this is what happens when I don't script.
• 44:55
  I just go off on tangents and tell stupid stories that make no
• 44:59
  sense. What I was going to say though,
• 45:01
  was all these men are like, no man will ever want you.
• 45:04
  You're a whore, blah, blah, blah.
• 45:06
  And men never want whores. Men don't want this and this and
• 45:08
  this. And I'm like, well, it's never
• 45:10
  never been a detriment to me in the past.
• 45:13
  Like in in the real world, I have been on dates with a lot of
• 45:16
  men who they don't even ask about your sexual history.
• 45:19
  They don't care about your number of partners.
• 45:20
  They just want to know, are you single now?
• 45:22
  Are you seeing anyone else? And when I'm like, yes, I'm
• 45:24
  single. No, I'm not.
• 45:25
  That's all that matters. You know what I mean?
• 45:28
  Like I'm, I'm dating a very, very wonderful man at the minute
• 45:30
  who's lovely. And that's that's never come up
• 45:33
  for either of us. It's never been an issue.
• 45:35
  I think we're both aware that the other has a past, but it's
• 45:38
  in the past. It doesn't affect the here and
• 45:40
  now. We're both very clear about what
• 45:42
  we want now, what we're looking for now, the fact we're not
• 45:44
  dating other people now and that's all that matters.
• 45:46
  So I think in the real world, the majority of good men who are
• 45:50
  themselves feminists and securing themselves and they
• 45:54
  care about other people and they actually bother to like stand
• 45:57
  other people and care about them and listen to them, They don't
• 46:00
  really care about this sort of thing.
• 46:01
  So this idea that if you have X number of partners, you'll
• 46:04
  never, ever, ever find anyone is a load of nonsense.
• 46:07
  Sure, that might exclude some people from like, you know, your
• 46:11
  potential partners, but surely, like, that's a good thing
• 46:14
  because it means that their values and yours don't match and
• 46:16
  you wouldn't be suitable anyway. Do you know what I mean?
• 46:19
  But yeah, the the whole thing from Brett here, her attitude
• 46:22
  here, her quoting these people, they, I found that quite gross.
• 46:27
  I found Brett's remarks really gross.
• 46:29
  Her attitude was really gross. Like it wasn't not it's like
• 46:33
  she's here calling other people gross.
• 46:34
  I'm like, you're the gross one. Like it's really, really mean
• 46:38
  and unnecessary and cruel and quite childish on her part, I
• 46:41
  think. And seeing a harmless joke
• 46:44
  online and your response being I'm going to personally attack
• 46:47
  and insult the woman who said this is just really immature and
• 46:50
  it's really mean for no good reason.
• 46:53
  And I think that the people who were sending these tweets as
• 46:56
  replies, I think that Brett saying this in response, they
• 46:59
  just need to take a step back and think about what they've
• 47:01
  said and be like, well, why am I being so cruel?
• 47:03
  And what does this actually say about me and reflect on me and
• 47:06
  my feelings? Because you calling names to
• 47:09
  this woman for making a joke again says more about you than
• 47:13
  her. You know, I'm also confused
• 47:15
  about her. The people you sleep with will
• 47:17
  move on to someone younger thing because 1.
• 47:20
  I don't really think this again, yes, there's some gross people
• 47:24
  out there who like are all like, oh, peak womanhood is like 15
• 47:28
  year old children and they're gross.
• 47:30
  We'll talk about them in a second.
• 47:31
  But for the average person, does Brett not realise that the
• 47:35
  people you're attracted to for the average person matures and
• 47:39
  ages as you do, right? So think about when you were
• 47:42
  like a teenager and you were like, you saw other teenagers.
• 47:46
  You were like, Oh my God, they're so hot.
• 47:47
  I go such a big crush. And now as an adult, you might
• 47:50
  look back on those old photos and be like, oh God, they were a
• 47:52
  child. What was I thinking back then?
• 47:55
  Because you're no longer attracted to teenagers because
• 47:57
  you're an adult. As you get in your 20s, you're
• 47:59
  attracted to other people in your 20s.
• 48:00
  As you're in your 30s, you're attracted to other people in
• 48:02
  your 30s. And obviously there's, you know,
• 48:04
  it's not just like, oh, I'm only attracted to over 32 year olds.
• 48:07
  It's more wide and complex than that.
• 48:09
  But generally the people we're attracted to, the age ranges of
• 48:13
  that increase as we get older and what we're attracted to gets
• 48:18
  older as we get older. That's what I'm trying to say. 2
• 48:20
  let's not normalise 40 something men creeping on 20 somethings.
• 48:25
  Please let's not stop it. This idea that if you're 40 your
• 48:29
  40 year old partner will dump you for a 20 year old is them
• 48:34
  being gross and creepy. That's not a fault with you.
• 48:38
  And three, why do these women seem to think that men only ever
• 48:41
  want considerably younger women? Like have they ever met a normal
• 48:44
  non creepy man? And even if you are just looking
• 48:47
  for something casual and not like a long term relationship,
• 48:49
  right, why would you consistently go for someone so
• 48:52
  much younger and more immature and naive than you?
• 48:55
  Unless you're a predator who just wants to take it up, take
• 48:57
  advantage of that. I don't get it.
• 48:59
  OK, I was rambling there, but anyway, what does any of this
• 49:02
  have to do with the title of the video or that initial statement
• 49:04
  that Brett made in the beginning?
• 49:05
  Well, let's find out. And that comment right there
• 49:08
  brings us to a completely different conversation that is
• 49:10
  currently happening on X, and that is the one about postpartum
• 49:14
  women. Now, that debate that is
• 49:15
  happening on X right now is about whether women are actually
• 49:18
  attractive postpartum, if that means that their husbands will
• 49:21
  cheat on them and leave them postpartum, and how this makes
• 49:24
  childless women think about having kids.
• 49:26
  But there's a lot of women, you know, are not interested in
• 49:28
  having children. And a big reason why is because
• 49:30
  they do not want their bodies to change.
• 49:32
  They don't want their romantic relationships to change.
• 49:35
  Now this whole debate started with these two posts, This woman
• 49:38
  said. I've had multiple women in New
• 49:40
  York City tell me that they don't want to get pregnant
• 49:41
  because they're afraid of what it will do to their body.
• 49:44
  And RFH doctor said that is because men are disgusted by
• 49:48
  postpartum bodies. OK, well let's just remember
• 49:52
  this is coming from the woman who just a few seconds ago
• 49:56
  implied that all men are just waiting to trade you in for a
• 49:59
  younger model at the first chance they get.
• 50:00
  Does she not realise that there's more than one reason to
• 50:03
  not want to have kids? That's a question.
• 50:05
  Like, I don't want kids because I don't like kids.
• 50:07
  I don't like being around them, I don't want to be around them,
• 50:10
  I don't want to spend time with them.
• 50:11
  I hate that baby and toddler smell that turns my stomach
• 50:15
  nearly as bad as corn does. Carrying a pregnancy to term
• 50:18
  would likely kill me with all my uterus and cervix issues.
• 50:22
  I don't want my body to change because I don't want my organs
• 50:24
  to get squished and moved around, and I don't want the
• 50:27
  health problems that potentially come with pregnancy and again,
• 50:31
  mostly I just don't want kids in my life and so on.
• 50:33
  I feel like when women say they're afraid of what will
• 50:35
  happen to their bodies, it's not about in general, Oh no, this
• 50:39
  man won't find me attractive anymore.
• 50:41
  Or Oh no men won't find me attractive anymore.
• 50:43
  It's more about Oh my God, are my hair and teeth going to fall
• 50:46
  out? Will I end up with diabetes or
• 50:47
  high blood pressure? Will I be able to sneeze without
• 50:50
  peeing myself again? How much are my vagina involved
• 50:54
  Are going to tear and RIP open as I give birth?
• 50:57
  Am I going to end up with a prolapsed uterus?
• 50:59
  How much am I going to end up with scarred, stretched and
• 51:02
  sagging skin in places? Will I even recognise myself
• 51:05
  after birth? It's rarely about Oh no, but
• 51:08
  what will men think of me? It's about women caring about
• 51:11
  their bodies, their health and the way they identify
• 51:14
  themselves. When I was going through the
• 51:16
  quote tweets of this post, when I was scrolling through the
• 51:18
  comment section as I do, it was the women who are agreeing with
• 51:22
  this. They were crapping on men and
• 51:24
  they were also saying that they were the ones who found
• 51:26
  postpartum bodies scary or unattractive.
• 51:29
  And it was the men that were denying it.
• 51:31
  Now, for a lot of you, this probably is not shocking in the
• 51:34
  slightest, especially if you are a woman, if you have been around
• 51:37
  groups of women, if you understand gender relations, how
• 51:40
  women treat themselves or others.
• 51:42
  Because women are our own harshest critics.
• 51:45
  That is something I have actually talked about a lot
• 51:47
  because many feminists like to point the finger at men and say
• 51:50
  you've done this to me, you made me have to be skinny, you did
• 51:54
  all of this when actually it's other women.
• 51:56
  Women are the ones who pressure other women to go get plastic
• 52:00
  surgery, who make them feel insecure, who say that you need
• 52:02
  to be skinny or look a certain way. 9 times out of 10 it is
• 52:05
  women who are doing that and not men.
• 52:08
  OK, there's there's a lot lot to unpack here.
• 52:10
  Right and well, she's right and she's wrong.
• 52:13
  Are women harsh on themselves? Often?
• 52:16
  Yes. Are women sometimes judgmental
• 52:18
  of other women? Often yes.
• 52:20
  But are men also judge mental towards women?
• 52:23
  Often yes. The comments I get on my videos
• 52:27
  calling me ugly, saying I have bad teeth.
• 52:30
  I have too prominent of an Adam's apple.
• 52:32
  That's a huge one. I get quite a lot.
• 52:33
  That I'm too fat, that I'm too skinny, that I need to dye the
• 52:38
  roots of my hair, that I have a stupid nose, blah blah blah blah
• 52:41
  blah blah blah. 99% of the time they come from men.
• 52:44
  The judgements on my appearance come from men, not women.
• 52:49
  However, I realise I'm just one example.
• 52:51
  I do also see women putting down other women online and that I
• 52:54
  don't think is OK. I do see women comparing
• 52:57
  themselves to others online and thinking that they need to wear
• 52:59
  this or get a certain product or use a certain product or get a
• 53:03
  certain type of plastic surgery or treatment or whatever because
• 53:06
  they've seen other women do it and now they want to do it
• 53:08
  themselves. Yes, I absolutely see that too.
• 53:11
  I've been guilty of doing it myself too, 100%.
• 53:13
  I do think it's a really complex issue.
• 53:16
  And I think what a lot of feminist writers have said over
• 53:18
  the years is that it's not just like every single individual man
• 53:22
  who is responsible for this, but it's a result of living in a
• 53:25
  patriarchal society and the power structures in place where
• 53:28
  women have been forced to feel like they have to look and act a
• 53:31
  certain way. And they definitely have some
• 53:33
  internalised misogyny because of that in regards to both
• 53:36
  themselves and other women. And I think again, what a lot of
• 53:39
  feminist writers have said is that a lot of these harmful
• 53:41
  ideas over the years have been upheld and forced upon us
• 53:44
  primarily but not exclusively, by men in positions of power and
• 53:50
  influence. One article from the New
• 53:52
  Feminist website summarises that while so many of our notions of
• 53:55
  beauty today are internalised and expressed by women, they
• 53:58
  come from societal power structures which are inherently
• 54:01
  misogynistic and often racist too.
• 54:04
  So, the article writes, we cannot ignore that patriarchal
• 54:07
  and capitalist values infiltrate the beauty industry to oppress
• 54:10
  women. Marxist feminists have pointed
• 54:12
  out how women are exploited economically by high by the high
• 54:16
  profiting beauty world, while intersectional feminists
• 54:19
  highlight the ways in which certain demographics are
• 54:21
  excluded or disproportionately affected by the industry.
• 54:25
  It's also true that beauty standards have mean and continue
• 54:28
  to be sold to women as a way of catering to the male gaze, where
• 54:31
  what's considered to be beauty has been historically shaped by
• 54:34
  what? By what heterosexual white men
• 54:37
  have desired. Shocker, social media certainly
• 54:40
  hasn't helped, with young girls growing up idealising Insta
• 54:43
  gurus whose bodies are only attainable after plastic surgery
• 54:46
  or Photoshop. Though of course it is not a bad
• 54:48
  thing for women to want to change their bodies.
• 54:50
  We must ask ourselves where the idea of an ideal feminine
• 54:54
  standard comes from. The article goes on to say while
• 54:57
  women have the choice to engage in beauty practises or not, we
• 55:00
  can't ignore the western Eurocentric standards reflected
• 55:04
  in beauty standards. We can't ignore how women of
• 55:06
  colour are told to look a certain way and then for
• 55:09
  characteristics they have been stereotyped to be adopted by
• 55:12
  white women for a trend. All that they are consistently
• 55:15
  excluded from the whitewashed industry.
• 55:18
  Meanwhile, in her book Disobedient Bodies, Emma Dabiri
• 55:22
  writes, we need to recognise that the attention focused on
• 55:25
  our bodies, particularly female bodies, is accompanied by a
• 55:28
  deeply entrenched contempt for them, and that this is the
• 55:31
  result of specific cultural, philosophical and religious
• 55:34
  legacies, as well as a healthy dose of body hatred and
• 55:37
  misogyny. Western culture has in many ways
• 55:40
  been determined by a heavily visual paradigm, which has also
• 55:43
  helped inform the shallowness of the beauty regime.
• 55:46
  So it's absolutely not just that all feminists say this is the
• 55:50
  fault of men. And it's not.
• 55:53
  And it's not, as Brett will want you to think, down to silly
• 55:56
  little women blaming everyone but themselves.
• 55:59
  And they just need to take some personal responsibility.
• 56:02
  It's a lot more complex than that.
• 56:04
  I just think there's a whole lot of contradictions and confusion
• 56:07
  in what Brett says. Like, listen to this.
• 56:08
  Right. So she has this odd rant about
• 56:10
  how it's only feminists who think men hate women's
• 56:13
  postpartum bodies, and then she says this.
• 56:16
  Having children changes your body.
• 56:18
  It is one of the many sacrifices that women make when they choose
• 56:20
  to have a baby. Now, does that mean that you are
• 56:23
  automatically unattractive forever?
• 56:25
  No, that is ridiculous. I mean, there was a whole other
• 56:28
  viral post just two weeks ago. I'm telling you, there's been a
• 56:31
  lot orbiting about postpartum attractiveness right now.
• 56:34
  But there was another viral post where Benny Johnson's wife
• 56:36
  posted about loving her postpartum body, about how she's
• 56:39
  worked so hard to get back in shape.
• 56:41
  She feels great. And she was saying that, you
• 56:43
  know, having kids does not have to destroy you.
• 56:45
  I said, I'm 36 weeks postpartum. I've had four babies in four
• 56:48
  years. Don't believe the lies that
• 56:49
  having kids destroys you. So I kind of love this at first
• 56:53
  because I was like, hell yeah, let's celebrate natural bodies
• 56:55
  with extra weight and loose skin and stretch marks.
• 56:58
  Let's see all the beauty in that and celebrate a body that is so
• 57:01
  powerful and healthy and strong, right?
• 57:04
  But no no, he ruins it all by still upholding these
• 57:08
  traditional why Eurocentric beauty standards.
• 57:11
  The only skinny white women with flat tummies are beautiful.
• 57:16
  She's not saying you're beautiful postpartum as you are.
• 57:19
  She's saying you can be beautiful postpartum if you work
• 57:23
  for it and get yourself skinny again like this woman.
• 57:25
  And this is actually a massive part of the problem in shaming
• 57:29
  women for having natural, normal bodies.
• 57:31
  But she's absolutely correct. And while our culture today
• 57:33
  seems to want to reject exceptionalism and health in
• 57:37
  favour of relatability and enablement, especially when it
• 57:39
  comes to content, especially when it comes to women, seeing
• 57:42
  these types of stories is a net positive thing.
• 57:45
  And seeing the type of post for many women should be empowering
• 57:48
  and hopeful for you. Hard disagree here.
• 57:52
  It's a complex issue with lots of facets.
• 57:55
  Now, I know Brett is too young to remember, but I grew up in
• 57:58
  the 90s and early 2000s when women's bodies were scrutinised
• 58:02
  relentlessly by traditional and new media outlets.
• 58:07
  Heroin chic was in and every woman with even an ounce of fat
• 58:11
  on them was told they needed to lose weight.
• 58:13
  We were told that if you couldn't see every bone sticking
• 58:15
  out that we were too much. Me having a little bit of little
• 58:18
  bit of fat here on my arms, that would have been ripped apart by
• 58:22
  newspapers in the 90s, I would have been called a hippo.
• 58:26
  I'd have been called disgusting. I'd have been told, you know, I
• 58:30
  need to stop eating and blah blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 58:33
  Genuine, like, and this is a very normal, fairly skinny arm
• 58:37
  and this would have been ripped apart in the 90s.
• 58:40
  I remember it all. In the book Toxic Women, Fame
• 58:44
  and the Tabloid 2000s, Sarah Ditton writes that they're
• 58:48
  they're meaning women and celebrity women in particular.
• 58:51
  Their bodies, their images, their personal dramas were all
• 58:54
  dissected in minutest detail across tabloid magazines and
• 58:57
  gossip blogs. The stories of celebrity women
• 59:00
  as told by the tabloid press and celebrity blogs became vehicles
• 59:04
  through which we made sense of our own existence.
• 59:06
  For the public, tearing these women to pieces was both a
• 59:09
  social activity and a form of divination.
• 59:12
  In the entrails, in the entrails of their reputations, we haunted
• 59:15
  for clues about what a woman ought to be.
• 59:18
  And this has always been one of the functions of celebrity women
• 59:21
  when growing up at that, at that time, I know that I really
• 59:24
  internalised a lot of that stuff and I was incredibly harsh on
• 59:27
  myself and all the women, especially as a teenager until I
• 59:31
  finally, I don't say like grew up and matured.
• 59:34
  But as I grew up and matured, I educated myself on these issues
• 59:38
  and I learned to recognise this as a problem.
• 59:40
  And I had to actively work to undo the harm that this had kind
• 59:44
  of done both to myself and in my behaviour towards other women.
• 59:48
  It was an active process I had to undo.
• 59:51
  Seeing nothing but super skinny white women was rooted in body
• 59:56
  shaming, misogyny, and racism, and it was incredibly harmful to
• 1:00:00
  every kind of woman. As eating disorders and
• 1:00:03
  substance abuse issues increased rapidly in the 90s and 2000s, it
• 1:00:07
  was everywhere. It was so damn common.
• 1:00:11
  Over the years we have started to understand the harm this
• 1:00:13
  caused and we're seeing more diverse women and bodies in
• 1:00:15
  general out there. And as Emma Dabiri writes,
• 1:00:18
  consider the images we see. Until the last 10 years or so,
• 1:00:22
  media casting was mind bogglingly limited.
• 1:00:24
  When my kids watch TV shows from before they were born, they're
• 1:00:27
  confused why everybody is white. When I was younger, this was the
• 1:00:31
  default. Women, and certainly beautiful
• 1:00:33
  women were white. They were thin and everyone was
• 1:00:36
  straight. In the last few years there's
• 1:00:38
  been a representational revolution across the media
• 1:00:40
  thanks to Precious to change. Going from social media we now
• 1:00:43
  see all types of people and in regards to women specifically we
• 1:00:47
  see women with different body types.
• 1:00:48
  Indigenous women, Asian women, Latinx women, black women of all
• 1:00:54
  black women of all complexions with all hair textures.
• 1:00:56
  We we see queer women and non binary people and trans women.
• 1:01:00
  Women with tattoos and unconventional forms of beauty.
• 1:01:03
  I think about how unrecognisable it is from the world I grew up
• 1:01:06
  in and while this is a massive positive step forward which is
• 1:01:11
  doing good and is helping women and other people, it's not
• 1:01:14
  perfect. Emma goes on to write.
• 1:01:16
  I wonder why with all these advances, so many young people,
• 1:01:19
  and young women specifically, seem to feel under so much more
• 1:01:22
  pressure when it comes to their appearance, not less.
• 1:01:25
  Social media has enabled body positive and diverse
• 1:01:27
  representation of people and bodies.
• 1:01:29
  It's it has created previously unimaginable opportunities for
• 1:01:32
  community and facilitated vast knowledge sharing and of course,
• 1:01:37
  in concert with representation, diversity.
• 1:01:39
  Social media has created beauty standards on speed.
• 1:01:42
  It has exacerbated competition and comparison, enabled our over
• 1:01:46
  preoccupation with our appearances in the elusive
• 1:01:48
  pursuit of the endorphin rush and crash of likes and the
• 1:01:52
  promise of concrete results for those deemed beautiful enough,
• 1:01:55
  as well as intensified body image disorders.
• 1:01:58
  But why is all the progress occurred simultaneously with
• 1:02:00
  such enhanced pressures? Are we witnessing the age of
• 1:02:03
  reflexes that are triggered whenever there are developments
• 1:02:05
  that awaken women and marginalised people en masse to
• 1:02:08
  their power? And these are some damn
• 1:02:10
  fantastic points. And I can't help but feel like
• 1:02:12
  videos like this one from Brett and the post you mentioned are
• 1:02:15
  exacerbating that problem of people comparing themselves to
• 1:02:17
  others. Brett is making this video and
• 1:02:20
  saying these things under the guise of it being helpful to
• 1:02:23
  women and empowering. Empowering, you know, Hey,
• 1:02:26
  postpartum bodies are great. Men love postpartum bodies,
• 1:02:29
  don't worry. Which sounds helpful and similar
• 1:02:31
  to the things being said in the body positivity movement, until
• 1:02:34
  she switches things up by then slipping in.
• 1:02:36
  The caveat of hey, postpartum bodies are great, but only if
• 1:02:40
  you look a certain way and fit a certain beauty standard.
• 1:02:43
  And if you don't look like this and it's because you're not
• 1:02:45
  working hard enough for it. And I'm not saying this to be
• 1:02:47
  mean, It's for your own health benefit.
• 1:02:50
  Brett, another woman like her, can't seem to understand that
• 1:02:53
  there's more ways to be healthy than just one, and healthy
• 1:02:55
  doesn't look the same on different people.
• 1:02:58
  Brett's video and opinion here is just misogynistic body
• 1:03:01
  shaming, specifically targeting new mums while they're in a
• 1:03:04
  vulnerable state and she's saying it all under the guise of
• 1:03:08
  empowerment when it's no such thing and that makes it extra
• 1:03:11
  dangerous. Your body still might change,
• 1:03:13
  you might not look like Benny Johnson's wife, but does that
• 1:03:17
  mean that your husband will stop loving you or finding you
• 1:03:19
  attractive? I mean, we would hope not, and
• 1:03:22
  he is an asshole if so. And again, this all goes back to
• 1:03:25
  the same conversation we were having at the top of the episode
• 1:03:27
  about commitment and why that is so important for pregnancy and
• 1:03:31
  motherhood and raising children. She feels kind of track this
• 1:03:35
  back a little bit and says things like this, but it doesn't
• 1:03:38
  feel enough. It doesn't feel good enough.
• 1:03:40
  It's too little too late. She's already made that point.
• 1:03:43
  She can't then be like, well, no, well, I guess it's OK.
• 1:03:45
  But you know, and I think the other thing to remember here is
• 1:03:50
  that like commitment and legal contracts don't stop someone
• 1:03:54
  leaving you if they really want to.
• 1:03:55
  I don't like this idea that you have to get married to trap
• 1:03:58
  someone into not leaving you, whatever the circumstances.
• 1:04:02
  If you if you are with someone and you're like, in order to
• 1:04:07
  stop them leaving me, if I put on weight, I need to marry them
• 1:04:10
  so they legally can't get away. That says to me that you don't
• 1:04:14
  really trust them or their commitment to you.
• 1:04:16
  You know, and, and the final thing to point out here, I
• 1:04:20
  think, is that, yeah, those men who do that and leave these
• 1:04:23
  women in those situations, all horrific people.
• 1:04:26
  But this doesn't stop some of them doing it anyway.
• 1:04:28
  And I don't get why acknowledging that there are men
• 1:04:30
  who are like, this is somehow the fault of women in any way
• 1:04:33
  like Brett makes it out to be. This next part I think is the
• 1:04:37
  most dangerous and horrific thing she says in this entire
• 1:04:40
  video. Now something that pro choicers
• 1:04:42
  like to say all the time is that consent to sex is not consent to
• 1:04:46
  pregnancy, which is completely false.
• 1:04:47
  It is a completely distorted view of reality.
• 1:04:50
  It's just completely ridiculous. No, no it's not.
• 1:04:55
  That is a fact. If I consent to sex, I am only
• 1:04:59
  consenting to one particular inter moment intimate moment
• 1:05:02
  with another person. I am not consenting to semen
• 1:05:05
  entering my uterus, or my vagina for that matter.
• 1:05:09
  I'm not consenting to someone's sperm fertilising my eggs.
• 1:05:12
  I'm not consenting to a blastocyst implanting in my
• 1:05:15
  uterine lining. I'm not consenting to a Fenis.
• 1:05:18
  I'm not consenting to a foetus growing inside my body for the
• 1:05:20
  next nine months and using me as it's source of nutrients.
• 1:05:24
  Just like if I consent to vaginal sex, I'm not
• 1:05:27
  automatically consenting to oral or anal sex.
• 1:05:29
  I have to consent to those things separately.
• 1:05:32
  And it's not just sexual things. If I consent to allowing a
• 1:05:35
  person to feed me a chocolate, for example, I'm not consenting
• 1:05:38
  to allowing them to shove a hot dog down my throat until I
• 1:05:40
  choke. Consent for different acts needs
• 1:05:43
  to be given separately, just as with anything.
• 1:05:46
  If I consent to allowing a person to come into my home, I'm
• 1:05:49
  not consenting to allowing them to throw paint on the walls.
• 1:05:52
  And I think for many of us women who aren't consenting to
• 1:05:56
  pregnancy, we take steps to show that we're not consenting.
• 1:05:59
  For me personally, I take precautions by using condoms,
• 1:06:01
  for example. For me, what?
• 1:06:04
  I can't use other contraception because of my uterus issues at
• 1:06:07
  the minute. And there's a whole drama there.
• 1:06:09
  But for a lot of women, they will not consent to pregnancy by
• 1:06:13
  saying, you know, I'm taking the pill, I've got an IUD, I've got
• 1:06:16
  the implant, I've got all sorts. These are ways that women used
• 1:06:21
  to say, no, I'm not consenting to this.
• 1:06:23
  But another way we don't consent is by saying no, I'm not
• 1:06:27
  consenting to this. It's as simple as that.
• 1:06:30
  That's all that needs to be said.
• 1:06:32
  A woman saying I don't want to be pregnant means she is not
• 1:06:35
  consenting to pregnancy whether she has sex with someone or not.
• 1:06:38
  It is as simple as that. And let's talk about things like
• 1:06:41
  tampering with birth control, right?
• 1:06:42
  Because if a person tampers with your birth control or pokes a
• 1:06:46
  hole in a condom, for example, or slips off a condom without
• 1:06:49
  you realising it, that is sexual assault because you have not
• 1:06:53
  consented to the risk of pregnancy in any way.
• 1:06:56
  You consented to sex with the caveats that you would use as
• 1:07:00
  birth control, You would use this method and you would not
• 1:07:03
  risk pregnancy. If they ignore that, then you
• 1:07:07
  are no longer consenting for that sexual activity because
• 1:07:09
  those caveats are gone. And this is recognised as the
• 1:07:11
  law in a number of countries. So in the UK, for example, under
• 1:07:15
  the Serious Crime Act of 2015, it is a criminal offence to
• 1:07:18
  control someone else's access to contraception, force or
• 1:07:22
  manipulate pregnancy or termination decisions, or
• 1:07:25
  isolate a person from healthcare access of reproductive choices.
• 1:07:29
  As of 2022, removing a condom without consent or damaging it
• 1:07:33
  is classed as rape and will be charged as rape.
• 1:07:38
  Morally and legally, consent to sex is not consent to pregnancy
• 1:07:42
  and never will be. And that's why if you mess with
• 1:07:46
  someone's birth control, that counts as rape.
• 1:07:48
  And if you cannot separate a sexual act and you know, a
• 1:07:52
  desire for intimacy with someone with pregnancy, then maybe
• 1:07:55
  there's something wrong with you and you need to have a think
• 1:07:57
  about why that is. It's funny that Brett is the one
• 1:08:00
  who wants to make sex meaningful again and special by making it
• 1:08:04
  only for married couples and saying that it's sacred and it
• 1:08:07
  brings people together and yet she can't separate it from
• 1:08:10
  pregnancy. I guess in that case, any woman
• 1:08:13
  past menopause should stop having sex, right?
• 1:08:15
  Because, you know, it's it's inherently tied to pregnancy.
• 1:08:18
  And if you can't get pregnant, then it's not real sex and
• 1:08:21
  input. Any infertile people should stop
• 1:08:23
  having sex, right? Never again, unless you want to
• 1:08:26
  acknowledge that sex has more purposes than just getting
• 1:08:29
  pregnant. And if you want to acknowledge
• 1:08:31
  that, it can have those other purposes.
• 1:08:33
  It can be fun, it can be intimate, it can be fulfilling
• 1:08:36
  in other ways. But if you acknowledge that,
• 1:08:38
  then you also acknowledge that it is separate from pregnancy.
• 1:08:42
  And if it's separate from pregnancy, then you need to
• 1:08:45
  consent to each act separately. Does this make sense?
• 1:08:48
  Because when you have sex, no matter how careful you are
• 1:08:51
  being, no matter what birth control forms you are using, you
• 1:08:55
  are opening the door for pregnancy.
• 1:08:58
  This is just such a narrow minded view of sex.
• 1:09:01
  Like what about sex without vaginal penetration?
• 1:09:03
  What about sex between people of the same gender or with the same
• 1:09:06
  genitals? I'm pretty sure that when 2 CIS
• 1:09:08
  women have sex, they're not opening the door to pregnancy,
• 1:09:10
  are they? I'm pretty sure if you just have
• 1:09:12
  oral sex with someone you're not opening the door to pregnancy
• 1:09:15
  are you? But why don't these other types
• 1:09:17
  of sexual encounter count as sex to Brett?
• 1:09:21
  Why? Well that's the thing isn't it?
• 1:09:23
  It's such a misogynistic view because in her mind sex only
• 1:09:27
  counts as sex if a penis ejaculates into a vagina.
• 1:09:30
  It is a male focused idea of what sex is.
• 1:09:34
  The women's orgasms and experience don't even come into
• 1:09:36
  this. It's all centred purely around
• 1:09:38
  the male orgasm and putting semen in a vagina.
• 1:09:42
  That is all she can seem to think sex is, You know that is
• 1:09:46
  the culmination of sex in her mind, and that's why she can't
• 1:09:48
  separate sex and pregnancy. But if you understand that sex
• 1:09:51
  is so much more than just a penis ejaculating, and that it
• 1:09:55
  could be so many more experiences, then you realise
• 1:09:58
  that sex and pregnancy are very, very separate.
• 1:10:00
  And sex does not mean you risk getting pregnant, because there
• 1:10:04
  are other ways to have that physical intimacy without the
• 1:10:08
  risk of pregnancy. And therefore if you're
• 1:10:11
  consenting to sex, you are not consenting to pregnancy.
• 1:10:13
  It is that simple. And let's say you are having sex
• 1:10:18
  with as a CIS woman, you are having sex with a CIS man for
• 1:10:22
  example, and there is that risk of pregnancy.
• 1:10:25
  Just because there is a risk that does and you acknowledge
• 1:10:28
  that is a risk, that does mean that does not mean you are
• 1:10:31
  consenting to it happening to you and shouldn't be able to
• 1:10:34
  have health care and shouldn't be able to have access to health
• 1:10:37
  care to manage it if it does happen.
• 1:10:40
  Yeah, if I cross a road, I know there's a risk of me being hit
• 1:10:43
  by a car, but that does not mean I am consenting to being hit by
• 1:10:47
  a car. And that does not mean if I get
• 1:10:49
  hit by a car, I'm not allowed to go to hospital and get my broken
• 1:10:52
  leg treated or whatever. You know, same thing with
• 1:10:56
  pregnancy. If I eat a burger, there's a
• 1:10:59
  risk that I could get food poisoning.
• 1:11:01
  This does not mean that I'm consenting to food poisoning.
• 1:11:04
  And if I do get food poisoning, this does not mean I should be
• 1:11:07
  denied health care because, well, you knew the risks when
• 1:11:09
  you went in there. You just got to deal with it
• 1:11:10
  yourself. This, to me says that, Brett,
• 1:11:13
  one doesn't really understand how wide of a spectrum and how
• 1:11:17
  beautiful and wonderful and fulfilling sex can really be.
• 1:11:20
  And it also says to me that she doesn't really understand what
• 1:11:22
  consent is or how it works. And that is very, very
• 1:11:25
  concerning. Again, I know she's young, but
• 1:11:29
  she's still an adult woman. And I think a basic
• 1:11:32
  understanding of what consent is is something that every adult
• 1:11:34
  needs. And I would really, and I would
• 1:11:37
  really suggest she goes back and get some basic sex education.
• 1:11:40
  And so as a woman, I mean both men and women, but especially as
• 1:11:43
  a woman, you better be damn sure about the man that you are
• 1:11:47
  sleeping with. This really bothered me because
• 1:11:49
  this statement is majorly verging into victim blaming.
• 1:11:52
  You know, it's interesting because this is something that
• 1:11:56
  I've been talking about and thinking about a lot recently
• 1:11:59
  because like I, well, like I mentioned earlier, I don't
• 1:12:01
  really like to talk about my personal life much.
• 1:12:02
  I'm not going to get into specifics, but I've been, I've
• 1:12:05
  been dating someone recently and it's lovely.
• 1:12:07
  And this is the first person I've dated since my breakup last
• 1:12:11
  year where I felt like, oh damn, you know, he's amazing.
• 1:12:14
  I have no doubts on my part. I'm really, really into this.
• 1:12:16
  And it's really nice to just like feel excited about someone
• 1:12:18
  and feel so comfortable around them.
• 1:12:20
  And I feel really damn safe with him, which is lovely.
• 1:12:23
  But Even so, I've found that opening myself up to the
• 1:12:27
  possibility of something with someone again has awakened a lot
• 1:12:31
  of like old anxiety sort of in my subconscious.
• 1:12:33
  And I've been having nightmares about my abusive X again.
• 1:12:38
  And it's, it's kind of thrown me a bit.
• 1:12:45
  And, and I've spoken to the person that I'm dating about
• 1:12:49
  this and I've told him what's happening and he's very, very
• 1:12:50
  understanding. And he's lovely.
• 1:12:52
  And I've said, like, logically, you've given me no reason not to
• 1:12:54
  trust you. Logically and emotionally, like
• 1:12:58
  on a conscious level, I trust you.
• 1:13:00
  I feel really safe with you. I really like this.
• 1:13:03
  But in the back of my mind, my subconscious is like, yeah, but,
• 1:13:07
  you know, a piece of X seemed nice at first, too.
• 1:13:10
  And you missed all his warning signs.
• 1:13:11
  So let's just, like, put some barriers up and protect
• 1:13:13
  yourself. Yeah.
• 1:13:14
  And there's still that bit of, like, anxiety.
• 1:13:16
  They're still like, well, what if you can't see the warning
• 1:13:18
  signs? What if this, this, this, You
• 1:13:20
  know, and like I say, he's been nothing but lovely and
• 1:13:22
  supportive about this. And even me explaining this to
• 1:13:24
  him, he's like, you know, yeah, I completely understand.
• 1:13:26
  That's completely normal. You're fine.
• 1:13:28
  But I think the point that I'm trying to make is that how are
• 1:13:35
  you ever meant to 100% know if someone is a good person or not?
• 1:13:39
  You can't. You absolutely can't.
• 1:13:41
  However, how are you ever meant to know how a person will treat
• 1:13:44
  you in a year's time, five years time, 10 years time?
• 1:13:48
  You can't. No one ever can.
• 1:13:49
  And so that's what kind of like a lot of relationships are.
• 1:13:52
  They're about taking that leap of faith and trusting someone.
• 1:13:54
  And that can be absolutely terrifying, but it can also be
• 1:13:57
  beautiful and it can be terrifying and it can absolutely
• 1:14:01
  screw you over and hurt you even more.
• 1:14:03
  And you never know. You just have to try and use
• 1:14:05
  what judgement you have and, and, and go for it or, or not,
• 1:14:09
  you know what I mean? And it's, it's hard.
• 1:14:11
  You'll never be right 100% of the time.
• 1:14:13
  And that's why I would never, ever judge someone for ending up
• 1:14:16
  with the wrong person or picking badly.
• 1:14:18
  Because how were they meant to know?
• 1:14:20
  How can they ever really know? The idea that you better pick
• 1:14:23
  right or it's your fault he hurt you is entirely shifting the
• 1:14:27
  blame from the perpetrator to the victim.
• 1:14:29
  And that's absolutely not fair. That is not OK in any
• 1:14:33
  circumstance. And that's what Brett's doing,
• 1:14:35
  and that's what I have a real problem with.
• 1:14:37
  And I also think that this whole conversation about postpartum
• 1:14:39
  beauty and husbands finding their wives attractive hinges on
• 1:14:43
  a very specific kind of beauty, like being supermodel hot, being
• 1:14:47
  back to the same weight that you were when you were 18 years old
• 1:14:49
  when you met your husband, like never ageing.
• 1:14:53
  None of that is realistic, and it's also not realistic for him.
• 1:14:56
  Yeah, exactly. But the only one here
• 1:14:57
  perpetuating this idea is you, Brett, and that other woman
• 1:15:01
  whose photo you showed under the guise of this is empowering and
• 1:15:04
  healthy. Like you 2 are the problem here,
• 1:15:07
  that that's what's pushing this narrative, that you're the
• 1:15:09
  problem? You should not let the fear of
• 1:15:11
  what ifs and the TikTok fear mongering the girl with the list
• 1:15:14
  who tells them and all the reasons why they shouldn't have
• 1:15:17
  children. You should not let that stop you
• 1:15:19
  from wanting children because of your attachment to your current
• 1:15:21
  body. Because guys, it's going to
• 1:15:23
  change regardless. Yeah, sure.
• 1:15:25
  But that's not why I don't want children.
• 1:15:28
  So I guess I'm OK, right? No.
• 1:15:30
  No, You don't think I'm OK? OK, anyway, I'm I'm fed up of
• 1:15:35
  bright now and this is where I'm going to leave this today.
• 1:15:38
  I've kind of missed doing these simple little response videos
• 1:15:40
  rather than the big heavy deep dives, I think because they are
• 1:15:43
  a lot less emotionally draining for me.
• 1:15:45
  So I hope you enjoyed this and I'll probably work on a couple
• 1:15:47
  more of these videos over the next few weeks and months.
• 1:15:50
  If it's something that you guys are interested in.
• 1:15:52
  And if you have any of the videos that you would like me to
• 1:15:54
  respond to and talk about, then please either send me them as a
• 1:15:58
  link on Instagram or you can leave it in a comment below.
• 1:16:01
  And I try and read all my comments as much as I can.
• 1:16:04
  So I'll definitely see it if you want to recommend something
• 1:16:07
  YouTube isn't very good at, like you having links in the
• 1:16:09
  comments. So if you just give me like the
• 1:16:11
  video title and the name of the channel, I'll find it that way.
• 1:16:13
  Don't worry about it. But yeah, any suggestions,
• 1:16:16
  please let me know down below. And yeah, thank you for watching
• 1:16:20
  today. I think in conclusion, my main
• 1:16:23
  issues with Brett Cooper are, one, her cherry picking
• 1:16:26
  information and never looking at the larger picture or nuances in
• 1:16:30
  any topic she talks about. Two, she does feel very young
• 1:16:33
  and naive and she's incredibly ignorant on certain topics,
• 1:16:36
  which makes her very frustrating to watch.
• 1:16:38
  But she's also got that like youthful ego where she thinks
• 1:16:41
  she knows everything and she says it all with such
• 1:16:43
  confidence. You can see how people end up
• 1:16:45
  eating up all this misinformation that she's
• 1:16:46
  spreading and I think that makes her incredibly dangerous.
• 1:16:49
  And three, her opinions seem so inconsistent and surface level
• 1:16:53
  and like a lot of the time she's just parroting what she hears
• 1:16:55
  from other people. So her conclusions end up
• 1:16:58
  muddled and hypocritical and unoriginal.
• 1:17:01
  And again, I find that quite dangerous when she's got such a
• 1:17:04
  big audience. And overall, I think it's quite
• 1:17:06
  a shame. But that is me done for today.
• 1:17:09
  Thank you so, so much for watching.
• 1:17:10
  I appreciate you guys so much. Just as a little update, anyone
• 1:17:13
  who ordered my little bookmark and sticker packs, I am
• 1:17:17
  currently just waiting on the actual bookmarks to be delivered
• 1:17:21
  and I'll be shipping them all out to you very, very soon.
• 1:17:23
  So that's all gone ahead. Thank you so much to everyone
• 1:17:25
  who bought them. And I'm a little bit overwhelmed
• 1:17:27
  by how many of you there are. So I'm going to be probably
• 1:17:30
  having to take a couple of trips to the post office with all the
• 1:17:32
  little parcels, but they're going to be coming out to you
• 1:17:35
  very, very soon. And in the meantime, if you want
• 1:17:38
  to help support my work or my channel, then I do have Patreon
• 1:17:41
  where you can support me for as little as a dollar a month.
• 1:17:44
  And at the high 80s you get these exclusive stickers and
• 1:17:46
  prints sent out to you every couple of months, which is
• 1:17:50
  really cute and I love that. And I also have merch you can
• 1:17:53
  buy with some really cool T-shirt designs, some hoodies,
• 1:17:55
  I've got some little notebooks and all this cute stuff.
• 1:17:58
  And all of my merch is designed completely by me except this
• 1:18:01
  really cute little octopus and book design, which I
• 1:18:04
  commissioned. A wonderful art is called Amy to
• 1:18:06
  design for me and it's fantastic.
• 1:18:08
  She is so down talented and I love being able to support
• 1:18:12
  smaller independent artists as well.
• 1:18:14
  So yeah, that's me done for today.
• 1:18:17
  Thank you so much for watching. And if you like this, please
• 1:18:19
  leave a like leave a comment that really helps if you're new
• 1:18:21
  here, it'll be wonderful if you want to subscribe.
• 1:18:24
  I actually, you know what I haven't like I've always tried
• 1:18:27
  to like ignore my subscribe account and not really think
• 1:18:29
  about it. And I think the last time I was
• 1:18:31
  like, oh, get me to this level of number of subscribers when
• 1:18:34
  was when I wanted to get to like 50,000, which was when I was
• 1:18:38
  adopting Coup, my dog, my little Kyra who's storing in the
• 1:18:40
  background right now. But yeah, I think, and this is a
• 1:18:44
  really silly thing, I really want to get to 375,000
• 1:18:48
  subscribers. I think it'll be lovely.
• 1:18:49
  It's such a nice number and it's really, really big.
• 1:18:52
  And that's my goal for like the end of next year, I think.
• 1:18:55
  So if you want to try and help me get there, that would be
• 1:18:56
  wonderful. It's a big, big number to ask in
• 1:18:59
  a year, but by the end of 2026, I'd like like to try and get
• 1:19:04
  375,000. So if you'd like to try and help
• 1:19:07
  me get there, that would be wonderful.
• 1:19:08
  Thank you. And you can subscribe.
• 1:19:10
  You can share my videos with your friends or online and so
• 1:19:13
  that they can see if they like me too.
• 1:19:15
  And yeah, that's that's about it for today.
• 1:19:18
  I'm done rambling. I'm about it for self promotion
• 1:19:20
  stuff. And yes, OK, thank you for
• 1:19:22
  watching. I'll see you again soon.
• 1:19:24
  Bye.