Latest / Chavadi: The Meeting Place / Episode #26 - Arjun Adyanthaya

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Episode #26 - Arjun Adyanthaya · Chavadi: The Meeting Place

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: Hi there, or as we say in Tulu, Namaskara.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to Chawdi.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Chavdi means the meeting place.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Architecturally, it is a veranda, sometimes outside a home, sometimes within, always to welcome guests, to swap stories, debate the news, and pass the time together.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: Each episode, we will bring you voices that reflect the rich tapestry of life, memories from childhood, lessons learned along the way, and the moments that stay with us forever.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: Some humorous, some poignant, but always special.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Lalita Shetty.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Siddhan Shetty.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Today we invite you to our Chahti.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Today we have Arjun Adyandaya.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: He is the third of four siblings.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Grew up in Karkala.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: He now lives in Koimbatur with his wife Corey and his daughter Ditya.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, Arjun Uncle.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: How are you doing today?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: So far, so good.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Good.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for joining us, Arjunana.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: I know it took a little bit of pushing.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for my daughter.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm glad you're here.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm glad you're here.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: I look forward to a fun episode.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm super excited for this episode already.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So uh starting with your childhood and talking about bun traditions, memories.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know you grew up in Kharkle, but you had a lot of your family get togethers in Parampali and Udupi.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Give us a flavor for what these family get-togethers were like.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I heard you were the life of the party, so tell us more about that.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um Parampali uh many of the times I spent in Parampali was I was the only grandchild with my grandparents.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because uh I went to a uh school there called Christian High School and lasted for a year, and I was under uh the training of my grandmother, who was as strict as anybody else.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, she was uh terror, she must have broken 100 canes on me by now.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: She whacked me left, right, and center, but I I still remain what I am.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: So Tarampali, amazingly sensitive place that was for me.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up treated like a little prince in that uh household, so many tenants all the time in the house, and they would carry me on their backs all over the place, and that was a totally different trip.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing trip.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: I still remember uh yeah, they used to send me for tuitions uh again, mathematics, that subject.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh the car would come to pick me up at about seven in the evening.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And uh one day, my uncle, when he came, I was not in the tuition class.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: So they uh and they asked uh the master, where's this guy?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: And he said he's gone to sell lottery tickets, and and he conveniently forgot to tell uh, you know, that he only sent me.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so when I came home, uh mama asked my uncle why you're a little late, and he said this guy was not there, he had gone to sell lottery tickets, and I got whacked so badly.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was bleeding on my thighs and my hand.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, oh no, those were the days of child beating.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, solid.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, but I had no ill will towards anybody because of all that.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: There was no, you know, uh hatred in our hearts for that.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: You got what you you know, you you took everything, whatever you got, and you moved on in life.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And you knew you had probably earned it in some form or the other result of something you did.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm I'm trying to tell my grandmother, no, it's just the teacher only sent me the authority.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Where do I get lotted tickets?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: This was not a lot ticket, basically, it's one of those lucky tickets this teacher was sponsoring.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I went to all the nearby houses and my uncle's nephew, no grandson, no.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I was welcome in most houses, and every house you go, they'll give you something to eat and something to drink and be for the bought one day.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and the thing is uh yeah, I remember so uh just a little background: your mother, my mother, sisters, and so of course I've seen you growing up, and you were my big brother, the crazy funny big brother.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: And so we would have good get-togethers in Parampali for the summers where you were our main entertainment.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: Tell us more about that, because I know about it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I but I think those days, I think y'all got the brunt of it.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because we are only about seven boys.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: I at least uh if you exclude Nakul, Ashok, and Ranjit, we are about five boys.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: The rest were all girls only.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: So every time anybody with the elders would go out, they would take us boys.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: The girls they couldn't because there were so many, you would need a lorry to take you all, you know.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and it's funny, others uh other guests we've had, my sister Nandita, my cousins, Gaitri, Lakshmi, they all had that same story to tell about how the boys got taken everywhere because they were just a few of them and would fit in one car, and we were always at home.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: Not that we had a terrible life or something, but that is a one thing that we uh that we always remembered.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: But Arnana, tell us how you get all these crazy ideas and how you were able to entertain us so much.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was uh my uh dad's side of the story, you know, because everybody was so humorous, they they were just born with it.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: It was not like something you learn on the way, you're too young to learn all that those tricks at that age.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it just kind of came, yeah.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I still remember this incident in Parampali when for a change, they took all you girls for a movie, and I was only male at that time, and uh I was crying, and there was a big flood at home at that time in Parampali, and the waters were lapping up front steps, so much of water.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I I tried, and I love crying, so I was crying loudly and saying, I also want to come, and they said, No, uh, our driver's there, he'll take you for a boat ride.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's a boat tied to the rope in front of a coconut tree, and they said, and I said, Okay, then I thought the uh the boat ride was much more better than going for a movie.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I agreed, and when they left, the driver refused to take me.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: He said, No, Amma just said it for the fun of it.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: You we I'm not gonna take you, it's very risky.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I got really angry, so I went out, took a long run, and jumped into the boat.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: I missed the boat, so I was hanging one for dear life, one leg on the boat and one clutching that rope.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought I was gonna die.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: The boat was slowly tilting, and I started shouting, I'm gonna die, help me, somebody help me.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Then, of course, there were a lot of tenants who heard my cries and they came and saved me.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: But again, it was always uh landed up getting beaten at the end of it after the movie.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was a concept of the story.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that story activities.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I think that story guy, you had talked about in uh her episode that you know you should ask Arjunana about the boat stories.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm glad you said it unprompted.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because uh I I would have died that that evening.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think you also had a family, a funny memory um talking about bringing it back to bun traditions and memories.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in Parampali they had different almost like a cola every year.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you had a funny story of when you were a little boy in the third grade, how you were sort of the male rep that was going to this cola.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So tell us more about that and yeah.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: You you have an inkling because uh when this cola happens, it happens once in a year.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is and it's a place called Garadi, which is opposite where we are staying, which is a good uh as a crow flies, maybe about a kilometer across fields.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, it's on the other side on the mountains on the other side.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I could hear all the firecrackers going off and all these bombs ticking off, and all the drums and stuff like that.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: It starts at about six in the evening.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I could hear that, and I would talk to my grandmother and my grandfather, and they would say that is the cola.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And but nobody gave me any inclination there or anything saying that you will be a part of it later on.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I had no clue about it.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, as usual, we by 7, 7:30, we are in bed and fast asleep.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And at 11 o'clock, I was woken up and just put onto a chair and no change of clothes, just in the shots, and uh and about seven, eight people carrying me across the fields in the night.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I still remember it was actually very scary.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: I thought they were carrying me.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, with all those fires, they were holding those, uh, you know, they used to call that Tute in Tulu, which is basically uh coconut leaves wrapped together and dipped in oil, and they would light it, and that would be the torch, otherwise they wouldn't they would be probably land up in a ditch.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, with all the bands and firecrackers and stuff like that.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And by the time we reached the other side, I had already fallen asleep in on uh in the chair, and I was rudely woken up, and then I see hundreds of people all around me where the cola started, and and then all the villagers who got married that year had to be blessed from the family, and so they would come give me a coconut and a beetle leaf, and they would touch my feet, and I had to and it was a very, very serious function in third grade, you're a little boy, yeah.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody's standing with folded hands, you know, bent to their waist and taking my blessings.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm wondering what is happening here.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Can imagine, and then uh promptly all that was uh given out to whatever I had to do, and there was one guy who was like uh right hand to Amama.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh guy you remember uh Lalu?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Amama is our grandmother, Viran Shetty.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, yeah, yeah, I Viranchetti.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: His head used to say every time you ask him, he'll say yes, yes, yes.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, his head would always be positive.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: And and uh he would prompt me and tell me what I have to do, you know.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then when the when that thing of handing over all these coconuts for about uh I think about 20 couples, uh, if I remember right, I promptly fell asleep again in the chair.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: The next time I woke up, I was back home.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I can imagine the ego booth as a third grader when everyone is sort of saluting you, you know.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that it's just stuck in your memory, but because somewhere uh you feel this is not this out of the ordinary, you know, and then naturally after that, every time you go, especially when you kids when we would go down to meet the tenants, we would be welcomed in every house.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: From the house to the river, it's hardly uh maybe about half a kilometer.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: But we would get stopped at least 20 times.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: They would give us jagri, put out chairs for us, and uh tender coconut water, sugarcane juice, all the way, all those kids, nearly 20 of us, 25 of us.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: So it was weird, and then we realized how how powerful the bunch were.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, which uh actually it's funny, Arjunana.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_03: We uh we had gone this year, this February to uh Parampali, and so the kids were there too, and a few of us walked to the river, and like you said, so many people stopped us before and gave us all this.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_03: This time they still did.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: One person stopped and they cut the sugarcane for us.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: So the kids had that experience of being stopped and given the sugarcane and eating the raw sugarcane on our way back, so that was cool.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: But like you said, brings us back to we are bunts, we uh the bunts are a community in South Canada.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the word bunt means landlords.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, the owner of the land is called a bunt.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, and so to you, what does it mean or what equates to bunt for you in your mind when you hear bunt?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: What are all the things that uh you think of?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Pearless leaders, good-looking people, charmers.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Every bunt you meet, you'll know they're buns.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: There's some connections.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if you meet in South Canada and any place and you see a group of people, and if you see somebody is there leading the conversation, you'll definitely know he's a band.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and it sounds for us that you, like you said earlier in our pre-conversation, that you are kind of intertwined with buns, and you feel our generation has been lucky that way.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to expand on that a little bit?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, basically, because I think the reason for that is because we did not have any any other thing to distract us from actually living.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we hear you're so much like, for instance, now the TVs and all the technology surrounding you.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: You have lost the new generation.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: I if you for me to talk to Ditya, first I have to take an appointment with the phone, then only I can speak to her, you know.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, those days, if I did that, I'd have got first thing I'll get wrapped.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: He'd beat you up and then talk.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: So but that may have been yours a few 10 years down the line.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't get that much beating, or maybe that was just no, but y'all are all well behaved.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess y'all escaped.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, now no girls were ever hit, and no boy was hit except for me.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: And more and basically, I think I lived so long with them, you know, with Amama.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: But in spite of she hitting me so much, she was she had so much of love and care for me, too.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: She had shown it in so many ways, you know, with me.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I never, and I think we took it as a part of the deal, you know.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: You do something, you get pulled up for it.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, no big.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember all through, I think you do have that strong love for her.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: You do talk about how strict she was, how tough she was, how she beat you, but there's an underlying sense of the love you had for her.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, and no doubt about it.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I even now I think of her quite often because she became so intertwined in my life.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Was uh, I remember that one particular uh period, it was, I think it was on a Saturday morning, and again, mathematics comes into play.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: So my grandmother wanted me to mug up the multiplication table from nine to just two, nine and ten.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: I just couldn't do it.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, if you can't recite it by heart, you will not be able to go to Kharkle today.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: So no to see your parents, yeah.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: To see my parents.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I sat there and I was thinking my brains, how do I get around this problem?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: So then I hit up on an idea.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote the entire tables on the wall.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I know where I know where mama's gonna sit and ask me, so she won't be able to see it.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm sitting opposite also, I could read from the wall.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I I read on the tables and she said, Oh, very good.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, and she sent me to Karkle.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And uh those tables remained uh till recently when they painted the house.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I remember seeing it as a but everything during those days it took everything that came away.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then now, like you talked about, you had to you went back to Karkal, but you still also said you did a lot of your early schooling outside of Karkal.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um is that because Karkal was a smaller town?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely, yeah.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, tell us a little bit more because your father, Doc Uncle, that that's what we called him, Doc Uncle, he was Divakarajantaya, and he was a doctor, a very respected man in the little town of Karkal.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody knew him, everybody knew you guys.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: We've had other guests who said sometimes that's not a good thing.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: The Siddhan's mother actually said when she grew up, her father was the only doctor in Arsikere, and so everybody knew her, and sometimes not a very good thing because people always knew what you were doing, and the stories would go straight home if you were doing something you shouldn't I think from from what I'm hearing.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yours is sort of the opposite.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: I love being a center of attraction.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted everybody to notice me those days because most of the hotels I didn't pay my bills so high.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it would go back to my father, but then I knew I would get scolded, but that's about it.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: But uh the positive side was I would get everything free.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it didn't really okay.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: So but tell us you sorry, you said the boys you were both you and Vikana, your brother, older brother, were uh went to study in Bangalore, in other places.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: How come?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, see, before Bangalore, I did schools in uh in uh two schools in Karkril, two schools in Urpitu.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, and then two schools in Bangalore.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I stayed with Sudam also, and Shuba and Kavita would take me to school, Lady Hill, I think the name of the school was.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, and Sudamama is our mother's brother.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he was an he was an engineer in Bangalore.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: So finally, uh my father thought South Canada, the water itself is not good for me.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: So he said I needed to be moved out a little far away.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, but I one thing I am also very confused, Lalu, is after doing these schools, okay, these couple of schools at which I told you about, I must have been quite big.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, why did I go and join nursery in St.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Francis Xavier's?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, was this before I before I did nursery?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe that's a point when you go back.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know why because I remember I was in St.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Francis Xavier's, which was a feeder school to Joseph's.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I did uh yeah in Bangalore.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think I did uh third and fourth in St.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Francis Xavier's.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Shubaka was my patron there, yeah, and uh Sandiaka, they were all there in St.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Francis Xavier's, they were senior to me, and then I went to Joseph's for 1560.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: So it feels like you've had pretty much every branch of the family uh kind of had a say in your upbringing, had an influence on your upbringing.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: Lots of cousins, lots of aunts, uh lots of people.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Very true, yeah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know whether Arjanana, I'm just guessing here, maybe you were too much to handle in every school, so they moved you on to the next school.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: But I think you also said in Kharkal there weren't any English medium schools at that time.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was the primary reason, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And dad had this notion that education was very, very important.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: So he was a guy who's not in uh interested in investments and all that thing.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: So he was always telling me for me, education is something I'll give you, I won't give you anything else.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: After that, you have to handle your life, and of course now we think back and say, Oh, you could have done this, you could have done that, he had the money, but did nothing.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess if you want to crib, you can crib, but if you yeah, so anyway, life moves on, and so absolutely, and you give us a you give us a pretty good flavor for your dad, like he was a doctor, I can sort of imagine it doctor, head of the town, everyone knows him, um, but strict, also just very focused on academics.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Give us a more flavor of your your mother and how she like how your relationship with her was, and then you also had three siblings that you were very close to growing up, right?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: So tell us more about that dynamic, and this it sounds like it was just like a friendship group.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: So well, you kind of that's my eldest brother and Anwaka were the silent types, okay.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing much you can talk about them because they didn't talk much.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: So you compensated, yeah.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was only me and my younger sister that did everything in the house.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if I needed any money from my dad, I have to go through my younger sister.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: She was his bum chum and best friend, and like all daughters are.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: But otherwise, my elder sister was extremely studious, everything would work on clockwork for her, and so we hardly made great conversations with her, and of course, very senior and in that sense, so I don't know.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: We uh I think I I don't have great memories uh with uh Vikana when we were younger.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, I don't have any memories at all, uh, because I don't think anything anything significant happened during that time.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Got it, got it.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: What about your mom?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, did she was she the one in charge of brain all the time?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she she was the only one who was there for us all the time.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, because my was so busy with his hospital and his patients and stuff like that.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: He uh he had no time absolutely for us.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was mom who takes us to the hospital.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hostel, bring us back, you know, look after all our needs.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Everything, she was the person who did everything.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: And uh dad was just the backbone, and mom was the flesh.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, and when I was in the fifth standard, I jumped into one uh one hole and I covered myself with them coconut leaves, and I was smoking BD.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh a local cigarette.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: And she was she saw the smoke coming out, and she thought something was on fire.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Me sitting with my shots smoking and whatever, and that too, whatever my dad thrown butts of BDs I would smoke.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then, and we should, but she had to tell dad, right?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: She couldn't hide it.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so those days, no question of hiding from the father.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: So the moment dad came, she told him, and because dad in his own way told me what you did is not right.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: Then mommy took my hand and straight took me to the god's room.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: She was like a very spiritual kind of woman.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: So she took me to the god's room and maybe touched the god's feet and say, Promise I will never smoke again.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's the only promise I broke many times after that.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: It was just maybe month, 40 days in a year.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: You spent otherwise you're a boarder, right?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, absolutely.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think Lalonti hindered towards this where Karkala was a very small town.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: You had this very road, everyone knew each other, like your dad was a doctor, so everyone knew you.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um so you used to come home from college because you were in boarding school, and then you always used to hang out with your neighbors, friends.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's always it was always like this whole town knew each other, which is and everyone knew each other by first name basis, which I think now it's quite rare.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: At least in America, you don't see that a lot.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know if in India it's still quite rare, but I think that's such a cool atmosphere.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: If it was like you're you're all one big family, right?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, absolutely.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: That whole road.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: That whole road, yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we used to play cricket on the roads, and there used to be only one car that would go in the morning and come back in the evening on that road.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, then you imagine how small that town was.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: And there was no tar, uh it was a non-surface road, you know.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we could play cricket in the evening.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: We have 100 meter dashes between my brother and his friends, and we, our friends, and there was a forest next to my house, which doesn't exist anymore those days.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: We would go pluck wild berries in the evening, scorge ourselves in our face and become blue by eating those blueberries, and then you'd play cowboys and Indians in the forests, and it's so much of outdoor.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, it was outdoor.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: You would come home only at about 6:30.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, in the evening, and then have food and crash home.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then eventually you went on um to do your PUC and you stayed in Carcaliff for that, but yeah, you were forced to do science and math, which yeah, correct.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Apparently, didn't work out.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Tell us more about that.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you went to Bhopal too for a year, so yeah, tell us a little bit more about your higher ed career.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so when I joined college, I I think maybe they thought that I should be a doctor too, but I was never into that mindset where I would want to be a doctor.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, because I always thought I'd seen my dad, I mean, he didn't have time for anything.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought I didn't want that kind of a life for myself.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I was a lot of interest in acting and stuff like that.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I asked my dad that I wanted to join the Puno Institute of Acting, and my dad said, No, until you finish your graduation, you're not going anywhere, young man.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: You will stay here.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that was it, and then I chose the wrong subjects, and Matt's was the hiding there waiting to get at me, and there's no there was no wall there to cheat off on.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, but no, but I had a backup plan, you know.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Though I still remember there was this in my second year, first year, of course, I was new to college, and like you said, you know, you're so well known, you're all everybody's looking at you.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: So principal was my dad's very good friend.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Every week they'll join up and have a drink together.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember in second year PU there was this girl, and uh, she used to sit in front of me, but she was brilliant in mathematics.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to meet our math lecturer, and I told him, Look, sir, this is the issue.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know how bad I am.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: He said, Okay, I'm coming for the second part of the 15 minutes, 15 minutes, uh, half an hour, uh, one hour, one hour, 15 minutes, each lecture comes to supervised you.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: So he said, the second half, I'll be coming.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: So if that girl in front of you agrees, ask her to give her paper to you, you copy.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so ball down.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, okay, that's cool.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to meet her at the hostel and told her, and those days the girls were scared of talking to guys, okay.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: But somehow I managed to get to talk to her and told her, Look, I need you to.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: She said, No, no, no, that's not possible.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, she was a Kunkani like Brahmins there.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, she was petrified when she saw me in the first place.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: But then I was able to convince her and she said, Okay.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now I said, see, the lecturer himself has said, and he's coming.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: So he protect you and me, don't worry about it.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: So and she was a hundred out of hundred student.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I was able to copy only the back part of the page.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe about 60 marks worth of mathematical questions I answered, copying from her pages.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: But unfortunately, what happened was she didn't get 100.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: She must have got 60 and I got 20.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, luck just doesn't change sometimes.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: So then the principal said, no, no, this guy will never pass in mathematics ever again.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I think he's he should go and do a correspondence course for one year.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, one year is lost.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: So no point in again going applying for supplementaries, and then if you don't pass that, again you have to wait for another six months, again supplementaries, and then the rest of your life you're doing maths paper.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: So it's better you go to Bhopal, do a correspondence course, shift your thing to arts, and you do your correspondence.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I did my one year sitting at home and uh I remember Bhopal.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that itself was a culture shock for me when I went to Bhopal, even though I came from such a small town in Bangalore.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: But when I went to Bhopal, it looked smaller than Kharkil.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: People were so primitive, you know.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I wrote my dad and said, I don't know, it looks like I'm in some vague place.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was so primitive.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: Trust me on this.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was so, so, so primitive.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'd see I used to see people grouping around, hanging a radio on the on a pole, and everybody sitting around it listening to uh the news.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was crazy.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that place.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I passed and came back and then joined college again in in finance, a principal, you know, and then finally where did you join college?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you did your bachelor of arts, was that in Carkill?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, in Karthk, in Karkle.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: It was uh in the college.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Got it, got it.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think one thing that we didn't talk about is you're actually pretty athletic, or you were a sprinter, and you when you were in college, you ran, I think you did the hundred meter and two hundred meters, that was your focus, and you ran for the state, also, right?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, were you always like were you very focused on track?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what was it?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was always focused on these two events hundreds and hundred meters and two hundred meters, always so right from school uh into college, and uh in the beginning I just kept to myself, you know.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: I did my I I captained the college cricket team too, and I yeah, and I played uh and I was an athlete.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: I captained the athletic team too in my second year college, but then things started going wrong from there.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: It started going terribly wrong, not because of anything else, because me and the principal didn't see eye to eye in many things, though he was my dad's best friend, and with the process, I broke their relationship also.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: So they they were not on talking terms at the end of the time.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: My time was up.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because is that when you became the union leader?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, then after my final year, because only in the final year can you stand for president.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so and when I stood for president, I the the principal out of spite, he posted a girl to stand against me in the election.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: Then that girl, she came home in the night and tried, and then she said, No one, I don't want to stand against you.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: Principal forced me and all that.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: Then I asked her, go and withdraw it.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: He said, No, I it threatened me and this that I know.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, Okay, forget it, we'll see what happens.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, I even she voted for me.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: So that was at cakewalk.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: But when I came up down from my elections, I just finished the elections, I could hear shouting and screaming outside.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: When I came down, the massive fight, and all my supporters hit the other.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: There was a small group outside, I will not tell you what some issues, and they started.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: My my guys are all bunts, okay.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: They are thugs, so they always walked around with chains and all that.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: So they beat up those guys, and one fellow lost his eye.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: That is the beginning of my tenure.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: I just finished my election.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm coming now.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_03: So the dada giri, the wildness of the buttons came out.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, totally.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: Every the ones were ferocious those days, uh Lalu.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you don't get to see a fraction of that now.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: But those days they were so dangerous, unbelievable.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, drop of a hat if they would like to fight because there's nothing else to do other than fighting.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: You obviously were surrounded by the Bunts who lived in South Canada, were landlords, had the power or you know, the the force from being those roles, I guess, from being around it.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_03: They were tougher.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_03: But moving on a little bit to your ideas on romance and then your marriage to uh Gauriaka.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to spoil any of the flavor by putting my words in your mouth, so you have enough words of your own.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: So you want to tell us a little about your ideas on romance and then your marriage to Gauriaka.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: The PG version, Archunana.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, the no, you know what families.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, no, the romance was a very funny thing, love those days.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because it was uh when I was in college, romance was all one-way street.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: Only we knew we were in a romantic relationship with that girl.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: They had no idea until they went.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: There was there used to be down a college, there's to be a small little uh like a mandir down there, okay?
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: And on the wall written Arjun plus Vaitri, Arjun plus Rupa, Arjun plus this.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: We only would write on the wall.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: So that's hoping that girl will come and see it and so I'm interested in her.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: She had learned, is that something you might do these days?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't even think about that.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's so funny.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because how would you tell her that you like her?
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we know that during lunch break, the girls go down to have lunch.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: So even if she doesn't, one of her close friends will see that and she'd say, see, it's written Arjun plus you.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, hey, I think he's interested in you, and probably she'll get the message, and we would she wouldn't do anything about it.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: We would follow her by cycle for three kilometers, four kilometers.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Come back, finish, follow her, see her go into the house, come back.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's all.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: No talking, no laughing, no spine.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: That was romance till we left college.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: We left college and I came to Bangalore immediately after leaving college.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: I came to Bangalore.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, we started a cement company.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: At that time, a lot of money was floating around.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: So inevitably, you'll get drawn into social life and Bangalore club and meet a lot of girls.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, it was a totally different scene where girls would avoid you.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: Here, the girls would come and talk to you.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if I walk on the corridor in college with my friends, girls who are walking opposite us would jump off.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: There would nobody be there on the corridor after a few minutes.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: So, but here it's totally different.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: So suddenly you think you fall in love with every girl you see, every prettier than the other.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_03: So but so this was all though just light for you, right?
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: Were you still one of those who believed that uh because in those days arranged marriages were the norm?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_03: So all these so-called romances or flirtations, maybe more flirtation is the word than romance.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's the right right word to use, yeah.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so in your back of your mind, you were thinking, I am still gonna get married to the person my parents suggest, or was that never a thought?
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: It was never a thought, frankly.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: I it was never a thought.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: It never entered my head, and marriage itself never entered my head at that time.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was still a butterfly, you know.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: So every flour looked inviting.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, PJ dad jokes.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: But then you did marry Sapna, it didn't work out, and then she passed away, and then you got married to Gauryaka.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: So uh tell us if I talk about my first marriage, it all happened by accident, like everything in life.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, I remember we had gone for an athletic meet to Mysore, and my first wife was an actress.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so uh we have come for some shooting, and we were staying in a hotel on the ground floor, and I could hear Michael Jackson.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: I remember that playing loudly.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know at about six in the morning, who's playing Michael Jackson?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I came out and I saw this girl sitting in her car and listening to music, and I just got talking to her, and then her father came and they were just about to leave, and I remember tearing out my cigarette packet wrapper and writing my number.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: My address is no number those days.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I wrote my address and and uh then they just disappeared, they went off.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: But then suddenly, after a month or so, she started writing to me, and then we started writing to each other for a year, and the next thing we I realized was I got myself into such a bad soup that I had to agree to get married.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how it happened.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember dad when they when her dad came to see my dad, and I said that he's my daughter, and you won't get your son married.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, my dad, I remember him telling him very clearly, you know, my son will fall for a woman, even a light cumber.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you wrap a sarya around it, he'll fall for that.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, do you think it's what you're doing is right?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, then that man said, uh, and I'm sitting there like a monkey, okay.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to them talk and easy man.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that man is saying, Don't worry, doctor, we will handle him.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't go through anyway, in the end.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_03: But anyway, that didn't work out, and but then you got married to Gauriaka, arranged marriage, correct, and now you've been married for 30 years, 30 years.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: So finally the right person came along to keep you sober and give you your wings too.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: Correct, correct, correct.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Very true.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_03: She gave me her wings also, but it was an arranged wedding.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have any stories?
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that that also I think life sets everything for you.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we think it's accidentally, but I think everything has got a plan behind it.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, this would have we have absolutely no clue both of us existed till that moment in time.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: So when I when Prasanana used to come home, I believe that's our Gaiu's husband.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Gay's husband.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was staying in Palace Orchestra Jinchinku's house those days, and that was on the way uh for him to go to the factory.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: And he would come every day in the morning, have breakfast with me, and tell me you must marry this girl.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: He said, But your feature will be said, she's a very nice girl, you'll have a nice life.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: And finally, I got fed up and I said, Okay, I'll go and see her.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how it happened.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, she Gauri and Prasanana's niece were classmates from childhood.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: So they know each other, and and they also were looking for a good guy, and then they found the really good guy, and so everything fell into place.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: If she had heard, we'll have to have Gauriaka on the podcast next to get her.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you should hear her part of the story because I remember when we first got married, we went to Mysore and we had dinner in Sasanti's house.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: So Sasanti put her arm around Gauri and took her inside, and she said, My little girl, I pity you.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: We have never been able to straighten this boy out.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what you're going to do.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then Gauri frozen, what did I let myself into?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: So then she's still frozen, I think.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I think you also mentioned that Gorianti is not bunt, right?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, were there any initial cultural differences that I mean, not to cause friction, but that just stood out to you and were interesting?
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: Heavy cultural difference, massive.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know, uh in the beginning, it was pure torture.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because I just couldn't understand their way of life.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: They're very, very simple people, up early, early to bed, no drinking, no this, no that, and very little socialization.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: And for us, we were born with that.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, the and I had a huge friend survey here, and these guys, uh, the Naiduos, which Gaudi belongs to, are very, very conservative people, extremely conservative, and they're very clannish.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, in fact, for me, it has taken 30 years to break into most of my friends' places, you know, it's so difficult because they don't trust an outsider.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it it was very, very difficult in the beginning for the first five, ten years.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, if you persevere and they know that you're good fun, so then slowly now I've now I've got better setups here than anywhere else.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, people you have learned to mingle, learn to understand their habits, you know.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: And my wife has given up, she says this leopard spots can't be changed.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: So treat a leopard like a leopard only, you know, don't think it's a pussy cat.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess she's learning what everyone else has already learned, right?
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, yeah, but only thing is I gave her a lot of time, 30 years to learn.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fair, fair, fair.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so sort of moving on a little bit.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: So taking a departure a little bit from marriage and romance.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: You graduate from college in Kharkold, or you finish your Bachelor of Arts, and then you end up going and working for the Taj in a couple of hotels after that.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, in between that, one of my uncles wanted us to start a cement company to the public cement company we started, you know, mini cement company.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: But then I think that we were too young to handle that kind of responsibility.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: There was so much of money, and we never took that seriously at all.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is one place where I should have been a little bit more prudent, maybe because it was very rare to get a license to put up a cement unit.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: We were the last in the country to get a license, and we goofed it up, yeah, and uh totally goofed up.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I landed up going to court for the next 15 years, answering cases.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: So that that, if I think was uh a mistake, and after that, of course, then I joined the Taj.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that too, that's a story behind that.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: Also, uh, my sister was living near the airport in Bangalore, my younger sister, and next to them, our neighbors was the general manager of West End Hotel's house.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: So his wife had a gynec problem and she had visited so many doctors and she couldn't get rid of it.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: And my sister said, My father's a gynecologist and he's at home now on a holiday.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you consult him?
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: And she consulted him, and surprisingly, my father cured her completely.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And she was so grateful to that that she came and told my dad, anything I can do for your son.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: So then my dad told her, see, he's just hanging around doing nothing.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: If you can give him a job in your hotel, I'll be so happy.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, tell your husband.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how I got into touch.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, so yeah, immediately they hired me out.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's quite a process of hiring into the level which I entered.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: So then I was in Mumbai for about a year, where I undertook my induction, I was trained and then sent back to Bangkok.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just curious, when you graduated from college with your BA degree, did you have any inkling of what career path that you wanted to go down?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or did you think back to how you wanted to become an actor for a little bit?
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: Any sort of left turns you ever wanted to take from that?
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: Doug, really, believe me, I had no clue about what I was going to do in my future.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: Zero.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know what I was going to become.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: I I will take life as it comes.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I never thought that I had to make money, I had to do this, I had to do that.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't even occur to me.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: Even till today, it's not occurred to me.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, maybe my generation is like that, I am not very sure, but that thought only doesn't your generation are probably saying no, that's just you.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's you being no, but being from Kartel, that's why you see y'all got exposure, y'all went to Bombay, Delhi, and all that.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_01: You had a lot of exposure.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: I come from a small town, and today when I go back to Kartel, I see the guys are same like me only, even today.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, they're caught up in their own world, small time businesses.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they're very happy people.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: They uh they don't get involved in anything that is beyond their reach.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I for me, I never thought about it.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: It was just about having a good time and living life.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: Somehow, somehow also, luckily, money also came, you know, a little easily.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it was not a Know it's not like beg and borrow and stuff like that scene.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: So and and you had a few hospitality stints and then maybe a few stories about the underworld, uh, is what I've heard.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: But feel free to share whatever you can.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: So what actually happened was when I left Taj, I started this company called Ace Leathers.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: We manufacture leather products.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: So with your four friends, right?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: You started?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, with four of my friends.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was in Bangalore, I was in the factory, another very close cousin.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: I won't use names, but uh very combined came and told me that uh X and X have been arrested and they're in Hyderabad.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: And you need to go and handle that part of it.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: Can you do it?
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, Yeah, okay, no problem.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I took the flight, landed in Hyderabad.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: Who do I catch in Hyderabad?
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Lalu's brother was uh GM or manager of something in advertising.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I went and stayed with him and I told him, see, this is the issue.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: So and Shanmu never even talk about all these things.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: But he said, I know one guy, maybe you can tap into him.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: So somebody was working in his office, okay, who knew somebody.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I was introduced to him, and once I know, you know, like it's like a mosquito, like a cockroach, you get your bushel, then my whole body will go.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I was able to tap him, and he gave me another contact from another contact to another contact, and that contact led me to the police chief's son, and from there I took it.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then by the time these guys were shifted to Hyderabad, I had arranged the entire jail, everything was in our hands.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: So uh I stayed there in Hyderabad uh like nearly two months.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like a movie.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like a movie, like a two months I stayed in Hyderabad Hotel.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: Every day, lunch, dinner, all those things had to be sent.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Then there were about 18 of them in prison.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: So till they were moved to Madras.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean and I had to sometimes when they were released on bail, I had to go and hide and go and put for parole and all.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: I would sign and come back when they would go to Bangalore for a quick visit.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: So then slowly, you know, you get into it, and then they come back, and of course come come back to uh Madras from Madras, they came to Bangalore jail, then finally they were released, then some of them got shot and killed.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so then slowly I went to Bombay with another uh um boss who's in the US now, and it didn't work out for me.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I started getting pulled into drugs and stuff like that, which I didn't want to get involved in.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I just came back to Kartel and they said no, you cannot leave once you join them.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: You just cannot leave.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: But then I rounded up all my guys, about 20, 30 guys, and about six, seven cars.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: We went to his house and told him, 'I'm out of this.' I said, 'My and you know, we came from a good family,' so I said, 'My dad is just not for it.' So he said, 'I think twice I said, yeah, I'm sure of it.' So that's how I got out and came back.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's pretty awesome.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I'm just curious.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_03: Awesome that he got out of it.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome that he got out of it.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, asterisk.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but just curious because no one else has really talked about this underworld side of um this bun culture, and you don't have to make it a personal experience.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm just curious back then, growing up, this sort of gangster side of bunts, what were they known for?
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: What businesses were they involved in illegal businesses?
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be like personal experience, just sort of what was the talk around town?
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, in those days, I it was a big thing in Bangalore.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody was a gangster.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: There's no such thing as this fellow is a gangster, that fellow is not a gangster.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's no nothing else to do.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: So everybody's a gangster.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: But there was no that those days, gangsters means uh hitting each other, then um using a blade.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: So all these small sort of pretty things, small gangs here, there, nothing major until the Bombay Mafia stepped in.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Then things started taking, you know, then guns and stuff started coming into the into manglaw.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: But other before that, though the Bombay Mafia was dominated by the Buns and hotels and the mafia has always been the Bun's hotel, so to speak.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fair, fair.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh in those days it was very simple.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was not like now.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: May you may not relate to it, but that is the way it was those days.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was like an everyday thing, it was not something you're worried about.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: Your parents are already, you know, waiting to get a call that your son is in jail here or son in jail there.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: But they'll go and bring him out.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's no going to court and there's no punishment.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it was a big thing.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: It was just no big deal.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: Everyday life.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody even asked what you were doing.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: My father, I'm sure, never even knew what I was studying.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: No clue.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm sure that most families also didn't know what their sons were doing.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: So then you all these small, small fights.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: You don't like this, I don't like that.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: So you sit in a bar, drink, then you look one fellow looks across the table at you while you're staring.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: That fellow asks, How do you know I'm staring?
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're staring at me.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: Then full fight.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's a domino effect, right?
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, cool.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: So thankfully, you got out of the uh the underworld story, and then you took a pivot to real estate, which is the funniest pivot ever.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: But you started other company doing real estate, and I think you also sort of manage an Airbnb and UT now.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, how how did that right turn go into real estate?
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: And um uh real estate was I was in Bangalore.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: In Bangalore, okay.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_01: Then again, see what has to happen will happen.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_01: When I left the Bangalore was just about to boom when I left in real estate terms, I'm saying, when uh land prices went through the roof.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: So when I left Bangalore, we were just starting to look at land and invest and stuff like that.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: When we decided to move to Kwaimato, so I uh resigned, told my friend he can run it, but unfortunately he's known old.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I left and I came to Kwemato.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: Kaimato, there's not much to do, you're just hanging around doing nothing.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: Then we decided the Uti house needed somebody to look after it, otherwise it would just collapse.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: It was such an old house.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: So we built it from scratch slowly, working our way up, and we had long-term guests beginning, so we money started coming in.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now the house is completely self-sustained, and we really don't have to worry about it.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: But it's good fun every weekend.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: We drive up and we just kind of uh kill time, make whatever's left.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, now to the now to the best part of the episode, the one person that's actually willed you in along with Rarianti is your daughter Ditya, which we really haven't we haven't talked about her, right?
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, she oh okay.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_01: I the thing about this was I always wanted a girl child.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I tell Gauri, if it's a boy, don't even call me, I won't come to the hospital.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like America where they party in the birth and all that.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: I it's I wouldn't have I would have puked all over the place, anyways.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_01: So at about five in the morning, I get a call that it's a girl child, and so I went, and I it's an amazing feeling when you pick up the child in your hand for the first time.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's where the bond started.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's now me chasing her, and she's now a very, very important part of my life.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I keep visiting her in London, I feel bored, I just fly and see her, spend some time with her 20 days, and and for her, she's very happy when I come there because then she has to, she's got zero expenditure, right?
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: All her shopping, everything she does during the time I land up.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and she's an advisor, advisor to meet.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Papa don't do this, Papa do this, papa do that, papa don't do this.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I'm damn glad she's away from you, but I will never interfere with whatever she wants to do in her life.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't want to come back, it's fair enough with me.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's her life.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's she has to take it forward.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I will never interfere with her in life.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious if you see any parallels between your dad and your youngest sister, and how that relationship was almost super close, and how is it similar to you and Ditya in that capacity?
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because they were very, very close.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, correct, correct.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of parents in that.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because my dad adored my younger sister.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, he he was at a beck and call, he would answer her.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the same thing is history is repeating itself, it's the same thing is happening here, too.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think, but this girl is a little bit more open-minded, DTL.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas I think my younger sister was a little tough with dad, you know.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: She she kind of threw a weight around and said, You do this, you don't drink too much, you don't do this, I don't do that, don't smoke.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, but my daughter will not tell me she knows it won't work a lot of water over that's back.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: So she's learned to live with it.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, right from the beginning, you won't believe it.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right from the time she was a little kid, then I used to take her walks in.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: We used to both sit and watch the sunset from a little place that used to be beautiful.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I used to always tell her, see, I I drink, I smoke, I need a hard life.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so if something happens to me, you need to be strong and you should be able to hold the fort and all.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: I tell her, and then she used to tell me, I don't mind all that, I don't care.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: But one thing I'm really feeling bad about.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Why?
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: Only you make me laugh.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna then who's gonna make me laugh?
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that uh struck me.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I said, Oh, this is heavy stuff.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh God, there's some things you and now it brings a tear to my eye when I listen and think of it.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I think that's a strange daughter of Father Bond.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: And she was the one who literally said, No, no, you have to do this podcasting.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_01: What is this?
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: Do it.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's it's nice to get your opinions across, and if it helps you whenever Ditya listens to it, I know it's an audio podcast, but seeing your dad right now, his face a little got a little bit brighter when you he's talking about you, Ditya.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: So just FYI.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I keep telling her now she she's working for a restaurant in London.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I said the only good thing in this whole episode is that next time I have parties in my house, I don't have to invite outside help.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: You can serve all my guests.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I got cursed again for that.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, well, I am glad though, because you're like you said, I tried to get you on, I heard you didn't want it, then you told me no, I'm not tech savvy.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_03: And so finally I rope Ditya in, and the power of the daughter is what got you here today.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_03: But Arjunana, for all your joking, for all this stuff that you say, you have always struck me as a very, very compassionate person.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_03: You care deeply about people, right?
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_03: And one thing that, of course, it brings, it makes me emotional, even though it's been a long time.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_03: You had this really, really close bond with Chinkaka, your sister.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_03: Her name was Jutika, and we would make fun of her name too, because a very different name for a bunt name.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_03: But uh, and we called her Chinkaka.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then unexpectedly, after she got married and she had three kids, she passed away when the kids were very young.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I still remember that, you know, the shock for all of us, and I cannot even imagine what it meant to you.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_03: Is that something you are okay talking about?
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I I remember that vividly because see uh the name, I'll tell you about her name.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, there was an actress those days called Jyotika, and she was Papa's Yeah, that was Papa's favorite actress, so that's how she got that very funny name.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that that's about it.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_01: But this thing I remember Sagri was supposed to be taught some mathematics or something.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_03: So that's her second daughter, yeah.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: So she was here with us in Koimato, and there was a poetry recital program, so I wanted her to see it.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: So it we all three of us went.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, that was around seven or something in the evening.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: And uh suddenly, in between that show, I could see um uh Anna Gauri's elder brother calling Gauri, you know, why I mean you never come out like this to uh function like this.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_01: Then Gauri went in after them.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: I could see Gauri coming back, shock on a fizz, and said, Well, come, let's go home.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_01: She said, So we went home, and uh then she said Chinku's royal really not well and something.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't believe that.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't believe it because I mean I just spoke to her yesterday.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: What what what dramatic things can happen in a matter of a few hours?
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_01: Then I called Karkle and then uh Vikana spoke to me and he said we tried our best, but she passed away.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: I I just collapsed.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_01: I take it and more than anything else, how to tell our daughter your mom is known.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I never wished that on any human being to be in such a position.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: And uh when I told Sagari that your mother is not really well, it's very serious.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_01: We need to go back to leave for Kark immediately.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_01: So there was a small Devi statue on my shelf, which I didn't notice.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_01: She has taken that and held it in a palm tight.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and we had we I immediately organized two drivers who can take turns to drive because they are driving through the night.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: And uh early morning, I think by 6 6 30, I think.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I we reached there.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: And when I when she opened her hand, it was all bleeding.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: It was you know, um very sad.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: And when I saw that, I even today uh in many ways a lot of things died inside me.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: That particular, you know, a lot of though I'm a very spiritual person, I I believe uh in God and power very much so, and very uh very spiritual means for me that that tested my faith in many many ways.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: Then you know life has to go on, and sometimes you realize uh uh your spiritual strength will solace you uh if not anything else, because this is something beyond any relation or anything, uh something which is you know that is divine, so only a divinity can help you to match that uh kind of loss.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she yeah, it appears that she was in Mangalore the night before.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_01: She came in the morning to Kharki, and then we have that small little gods uh puja, it's not a puja, it's a bhajan center.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_01: And mommy was up there cleaning up the place, and Chinku said, Let me help you.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she started sweeping and she just fell.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: And she died in mom's laps there, couldn't do anything because that it was a massive anerosy.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: But she's been, I believe, complaining of headache from past month or so, but nobody took it seriously, you know.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe I never do sometimes, I think none of us do.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but yeah, that was uh uh a big, big, big, big event in your mind.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_03: That kind of yeah, really, because like I said, I'll never forget that because I think I called at the time when you walked in, and the scream that I heard from you, I still hear today.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_03: But moving on from this, which again shows that for all your joking, all your craziness, you are, like I said, a compassionate person, and like you brought up, you are also very spiritual.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and that you have used like some people turn away from spirituality or from their faith and belief in gods when something like this happens, but you haven't.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_03: Even today, you are one of those you still like going to temples, or I don't know if you like, but when anybody says, Let's go, you're ready, let's go.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: I I visit all yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: I do pujas at home and I visit as many as temples as possible.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: Lingauri and myself, we go every time you get a chance, you go to temples around.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: It gives you a lot of peace, but it's nothing, it's and also it's like getting out of the house, and you have so much of positive vibes in a temple.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, you're trying to measure up, you know, trying to uh have a dialogue.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually having a dialogue with yourself when you go to a temple, it's not a god, you're asking yourself, are you yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel that helps.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe uh every case is different, no, not all five fingers at the same time.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so true, true.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_03: And when we talked earlier, I did say that you know, you are one of those who, if you love somebody, you'll do anything for them.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_03: But if someone gets on the wrong side, uh they better be they better watch out.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_03: But you did say that that doesn't happen often, and you said something about seeing divinity in people.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's the best way to actually look at an issue because in no way uh can you change what that person has done to you.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_01: No, if somebody's offended you or done something wrong or harmful to you, there's no way you can change it.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: This is done.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if you see that this is uh it's a small part of a larger act, and you move on, that person will tend to change, is what I feel, and things will be much better without worrying about not losing sleepless nights, you know, being positive.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel it helps a bit, and then I like to crack a joke and break the ice, and mostly it's work.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, some people who have really not got along, but you moment you say, Oh, I don't care whether you like me or not, but I like you if you say they don't know what to say.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: Usually they let the guard down.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, there are still some problems, but I have I have in my life till now I'm nearly 70, but I have still don't have an enemy in my life.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_01: I have nobody, not a single enemy in my life.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: So somebody who I don't talk to nobody, I talk to everybody, yeah.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, just sort of bringing this podcast to a close.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: Wonderful episode.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: Really enjoyed the conversation.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_00: But a last question looking back at your life, we've done a full inventory, starting from being a third grader and being carried through the koala all the way down to now talking about your daughter and Ditya and everything that you've gone through, right?
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: So looking back at your life, what are some specific values or traits that you would want Ditya to learn from your life, our generation, things like that that you feel that this is the essence of the human experience?
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can take it from there.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_01: For me, I don't know.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: I have like I told you before, I have uh I've never thought about what the life was going to bring for me in the future.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and didn't care for the past.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was all about this.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_01: For me, when my younger sister died, a lot of my past died with it, and the future, a lot of that is intertwined with Ditya's life.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I always we keep telling her if she was alive, how she would have been so happy with you, and she would have spoiled you this, and like how she spoiled me.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_01: And other than that, I've no regrets otherwise, zero regrets in life.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_01: I've done everything what was meant to happen, it was not planned, and it just happened, it just fell on my lap.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's all.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't uh till today.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, for the past 30-35 years, I've not worked a single day in my life.
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't happen to many people.
• 1:04:09
  unknown: Okay.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_01: So why would it something happen like that?
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, can you can we give a good answer for that or no?
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, it just happens.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_00: Take it as life goes, and life will give you gifts and yeah, if it yeah, if it comes, it comes.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I could work for 30 years and get the same life what I'm leading now.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: So you ultimately work hard to sit back when you're older and enjoy the comforts of life.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_01: But it's already there.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_01: What why would you break ahead?
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, complicate things.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so yeah, absolutely.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a good life, a good ride, so to say.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna keep going, you know.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna celebrate what 70th next year, which is gonna be a huge part of next year, I'm making out for that.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, it'll be good fun.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_00: But anyways, yeah, absolutely.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, I wanted to thank you for your time, my good uncle.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_00: This has absolutely been one of my very fun podcast episodes, it's been very entertaining, but lots of laughs and a lot of sincerity and transparency too, which has been awesome.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: But so thank you.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you so much.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, thanks, Arjunana.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Lava.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_03: That was easy, wasn't it?
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_03: It was right, and you do love a lot of socializing and playing with your video games as a 70-year, almost 70-year-old man.
• 1:05:26
  SPEAKER_03: So while I say thank you for being on the podcast, finally braving it, I have to say thanks, Ditya, for pushing him to do it.
• 1:05:35
  SPEAKER_03: But also appreciate the stories and the sincerity, like Siddhan said.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, you are a fabulous artist, which of course, this is a podcast.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_03: We don't have enough time to talk about your life completely, but wish you all the best painting vivid pictures with your words and your paintbrush.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Lam.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.