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Chapter XXXV · Pride and Prejudice | Audiobook

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  Speaker 1: Chapter 35 Elizabeth awoke the next morning to the same
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  Speaker 1: thoughts and meditations which had at length closed her eyes.
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  Speaker 1: She could not yet recover from the surprise of what
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  Speaker 1: had happened. It was impossible to think of anything else, and,
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  Speaker 1: totally indisposed for employment, she resolved soon after breakfast to
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  Speaker 1: indulge herself in air and exercise. she was proceeding directly
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  Speaker 1: to her favourite walk, when the recollection of Mr Darcy's
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  Speaker 1: sometimes coming there stopped her, and instead of entering the park,
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  Speaker 1: she turned up the lane, which led her farther from
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  Speaker 1: the Turnpike Road. The park paling was still the boundary
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  Speaker 1: on one side, and she soon passed one of the
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  Speaker 1: gates into the ground. After walking two or three times
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  Speaker 1: along that part of the lane, She was tempted, by
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  Speaker 1: the pleasantness of the morning, to stop at the gates
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  Speaker 1: and look into the park. The five weeks which she
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  Speaker 1: had now passed in Kent had made a great difference
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  Speaker 1: in the country, and every day was adding to the
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  Speaker 1: verdure of the early trees. She was on the point
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  Speaker 1: of continuing her walk when she caught a glimpse of
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  Speaker 1: a gentleman within the sort of grove which edged the park.
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  Speaker 1: He was moving that way, and fearful of its being
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  Speaker 1: Mr Darcy, she was directly retreating. But the person who
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  Speaker 1: advanced was now near enough to see her, and stepping
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  Speaker 1: forward with eagerness, pronounced her name. She had turned away,
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  Speaker 1: but on hearing herself called, though in a voice which
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  Speaker 1: proved it to be Mr Darcy, she moved again towards
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  Speaker 1: the gate. He had by that time reached it also,
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  Speaker 1: and holding out a letter, which he instinctively took, said,
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  Speaker 1: with a look of haughty composure, I have been walking
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  Speaker 1: in the grove some time, in the hope of meeting you.
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  Speaker 1: Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?
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  Speaker 1: And then, with a slight bow, turned again into the plantation,
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  Speaker 1: and was soon out of sight. With no expectation of pleasure,
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  Speaker 1: But with the strongest curiosity, Elizabeth opened the letter, and
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  Speaker 1: to her still increasing wonder, perceived an envelope containing two
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  Speaker 1: sheets of letter paper, written quite through in a very
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  Speaker 1: close hand. The envelope itself was likewise full. Pursuing her
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  Speaker 1: way along the lane, she then began it. It was
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  Speaker 1: dated from Rosings, at eight o'clock in the morning, and
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  Speaker 1: was as follows. Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter,
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  Speaker 1: by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments,
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  Speaker 1: or renewal of those offers, which were last night so
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  Speaker 1: disgusting to you. I write without any intention of paining you,
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  Speaker 1: or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes, which, for the
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  Speaker 1: happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten. and the
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  Speaker 1: effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter
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  Speaker 1: must occasion should have been spared, had not my character
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  Speaker 1: required it to be written and read. You must, therefore,
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  Speaker 1: pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention. Your feelings,
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  Speaker 1: I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it
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  Speaker 1: of your justice. two offences of a very different nature,
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  Speaker 1: and by no means of equal magnitude, you last night
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  Speaker 1: laid to my charge. The first mentioned was that, regardless
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  Speaker 1: of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley
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  Speaker 1: from your sister, and the other, that I had, in
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  Speaker 1: defiance of various claims, in defiance of honour and humanity,
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  Speaker 1: ruined the immediate prosperity of and blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham.
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  Speaker 1: Willfully and wantonly to have thrown off the companion of
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  Speaker 1: my youth, the acknowledged favourite of my father, a young
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  Speaker 1: man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage,
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  Speaker 1: and who had been brought up to expect its exertion,
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  Speaker 1: would be a depravity, to which the separation of two
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  Speaker 1: young persons whose affection could be the growth of only
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  Speaker 1: a few weeks, could bear no comparison. But from the
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  Speaker 1: severity of that blame, which was last night so liberally bestowed,
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  Speaker 1: respecting each circumstance, I shall hope to be in future secured,
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  Speaker 1: when the following account of my actions and their motives
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  Speaker 1: has been read. If, in the explanation of them which
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  Speaker 1: is due to myself, I am under the necessity of
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  Speaker 1: relating feelings which may be offensive to yours, I can
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  Speaker 1: only say that I am sorry. The necessity must be obeyed,
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  Speaker 1: and further apology would be absurd. I had not been
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  Speaker 1: long in Hertfordshire before I saw, in common with others,
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  Speaker 1: that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young
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  Speaker 1: woman in the country. But it was not till the
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  Speaker 1: evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any
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  Speaker 1: apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I had often
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  Speaker 1: seen him in love before. At that ball, while I
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  Speaker 1: had the honour of dancing with you, I was first
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  Speaker 1: made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas's accidental information, that Bingley's
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  Speaker 1: attentions to your sister had given rise to a general
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  Speaker 1: expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a
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  Speaker 1: certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided.
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  Speaker 1: From that moment, I observed my friend's behaviour attentively, and
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  Speaker 1: I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet
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  Speaker 1: was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your
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  Speaker 1: sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful,
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  Speaker 1: and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard.
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  Speaker 1: and I remained convinced, from the evening's scrutiny, that though
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  Speaker 1: she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite
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  Speaker 1: them by any participation of sentiment. If you have not
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  Speaker 1: been mistaken here, I must have been in an error.
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  Speaker 1: Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable.
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  Speaker 1: If it be so, if I have been misled by
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  Speaker 1: such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has
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  Speaker 1: not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert
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  Speaker 1: that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was
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  Speaker 1: such as might have given the most acute observer a
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  Speaker 1: conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not
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  Speaker 1: likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of
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  Speaker 1: believing her indifferent is certain, but I will venture to
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  Speaker 1: say that my investigations and decisions are not usually influenced
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  Speaker 1: by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her
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  Speaker 1: to be indifferent because I wished it. I believed it
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  Speaker 1: on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason.
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  Speaker 1: My objections to the marriage were not merely those which
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  Speaker 1: I last night acknowledged to have required the utmost force
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  Speaker 1: of passion to put aside in my own case. The
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  Speaker 1: want of connection could not be so great an evil
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  Speaker 1: to my friend as to me. But there were other
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  Speaker 1: causes of repugnance, causes which, though still existing, and existing
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  Speaker 1: to an equal degree in both instances, I had myself
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  Speaker 1: endeavoured to forget, because they were not immediately before me.
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  Speaker 1: These causes must be stated though briefly. The situation of
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  Speaker 1: your mother's family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of
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  Speaker 1: that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly
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  Speaker 1: betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally
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  Speaker 1: even by your father. Pardon me, it pains me to
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  Speaker 1: offend you, but amidst your concern for the defects of
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  Speaker 1: your nearest relations, and your displeasure at this representation of them,
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  Speaker 1: let it give you consolation to consider that to have
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  Speaker 1: conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the
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  Speaker 1: like censure is praise no less generally bestowed on you
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  Speaker 1: and your eldest sister than it is honourable to the
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  Speaker 1: sense and disposition of both. I will only say, Father,
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  Speaker 1: that from what passed that evening, my opinion of all
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  Speaker 1: parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened, which could have
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  Speaker 1: led me before to preserve my friend from what I
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  Speaker 1: esteemed a most unhappy connection. He left Netherfield for London
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  Speaker 1: on the day following, as you, I am certain, remember,
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  Speaker 1: with the design of soon-returned The part which I acted
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  Speaker 1: is now to be explained. His sister's uneasiness had been
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  Speaker 1: equally excited with my own. Our coincidence of feeling was
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  Speaker 1: soon discovered, and alike sensible that no time was to
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  Speaker 1: be lost in detaching their brother, we shortly resolved on
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  Speaker 1: joining him directly in London. We accordingly went, and there
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  Speaker 1: I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to
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  Speaker 1: my friend the certain evils of such a choice. I
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  Speaker 1: described and enforced them earnestly. But however this remonstrance might
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  Speaker 1: have staggered or delayed his determinations, I do not suppose
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  Speaker 1: that it would ultimately have prevented the marriage, had it
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  Speaker 1: not been seconded by the assurance, which I hesitated not
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  Speaker 1: in giving, of your sister's indifference. He had before believed
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  Speaker 1: her to return his affection with sincere, if not with equal, regard.
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  Speaker 1: But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence
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  Speaker 1: on my judgment than on his own. To convince him, therefore,
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  Speaker 1: that he had deceived himself was no very difficult point.
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  Speaker 1: To persuade him against returning into Hertfordshire, when that conviction
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  Speaker 1: had been given, was scarcely the work of a moment.
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  Speaker 1: I cannot blame myself for having done thus much. There
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  Speaker 1: is but one part of my conduct in the whole
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  Speaker 1: affair on which I do not reflect with satisfaction. it
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  Speaker 1: is that I condescended to adopt the measures of art
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  Speaker 1: so far as to conceal from him your sister's being
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  Speaker 1: in town. I knew it myself, as it was known
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  Speaker 1: to Miss Bingley, but her brother is even yet ignorant
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  Speaker 1: of it. That they might have met without ill consequence is, perhaps, probable,
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  Speaker 1: but his regard did not appear to me enough extinguished
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  Speaker 1: for him to see her without some danger. Perhaps this concealment,
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  Speaker 1: this disguise, was beneath me. It is done, however, and
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  Speaker 1: it was done for the best. On this subject, I
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  Speaker 1: have nothing more to say, no other apology to offer.
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  Speaker 1: If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was unknowingly done,
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  Speaker 1: and though the motives which governed me may, to you,
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  Speaker 1: very naturally appear insufficient, I have not yet learnt to
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  Speaker 1: condemn them. With respect to that other, more weighty accusation
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  Speaker 1: of having injured Mr. Wickham, I can only refute it
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  Speaker 1: by laying before you the whole of his connection with
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  Speaker 1: my family. Of what he has particularly accused me, I
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  Speaker 1: am ignorant. But of the truth of what I shall relate,
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  Speaker 1: I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity. Mr. Wickham.
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  Speaker 1: is the son of a very respectable man, who had
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  Speaker 1: for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates,
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  Speaker 1: and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust
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  Speaker 1: naturally inclined my father to be of service to him,
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  Speaker 1: and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness
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  Speaker 1: was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school,
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  Speaker 1: and afterwards at Cambridge. Most important assistants, as his own father,
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  Speaker 1: always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have
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  Speaker 1: been unable to give him a gentleman's education. My father
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  Speaker 1: was not only fond of this young man's society, whose
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  Speaker 1: manners were always engaging. He had also the highest opinion
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  Speaker 1: of him, and hoping the church would be his profession,
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  Speaker 1: intended to provide for him in it. As for myself...
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  Speaker 1: It is many, many years since I first began to
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  Speaker 1: think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities,
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  Speaker 1: the want of principle, which he was careful to guard
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  Speaker 1: from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape
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  Speaker 1: the observation of a young man of nearly the same
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  Speaker 1: age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him
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  Speaker 1: in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have. Here
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  Speaker 1: again I shall give you pain, to what degree you
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  Speaker 1: only can tell. But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr.
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  Speaker 1: Wickham has created, a suspicion of their nature shall not
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  Speaker 1: prevent me from unfolding his real character. It adds even
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  Speaker 1: another motive. My excellent father died about five years ago,
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  Speaker 1: and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last
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  Speaker 1: so steady. that in his will he particularly recommended it
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  Speaker 1: to me to promote his advancement in the best manner
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  Speaker 1: that his profession might allow, and if he took orders,
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  Speaker 1: desired that a valuable family living might be his as
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  Speaker 1: soon as it became vacant. There was also a legacy
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  Speaker 1: of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long
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  Speaker 1: survive mine, and within half a year from these events,
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  Speaker 1: Mr Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved
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  Speaker 1: against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it
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  Speaker 1: unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage
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  Speaker 1: in lieu of the preferment by which he could not
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  Speaker 1: be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying
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  Speaker 1: the law, and I must be aware that the interest
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  Speaker 1: of £ 1, 000 would be a very insufficient support therein. I
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  Speaker 1: rather wished than believed him to be sincere, but, at
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  Speaker 1: any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal.
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  Speaker 1: I knew that Mr Wickham ought not to be a clergyman.
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  Speaker 1: The business was therefore soon settled. He resigned all claim
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  Speaker 1: to assistance in the church. were it possible that he
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  Speaker 1: could ever be in a situation to receive it, and
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  Speaker 1: accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us
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  Speaker 1: seemed now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to
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  Speaker 1: invite him to Pemberley, or admit his society in town.
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  Speaker 1: In town, I believe, he chiefly lived, but his studying
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  Speaker 1: the law was a mere pretense. and being now free
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  Speaker 1: from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness
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  Speaker 1: and dissipation. For about three years I heard little of him,
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  Speaker 1: but on the decease of the incumbent of the living
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  Speaker 1: which had been designed for him, he applied to me
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  Speaker 1: again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured me,
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  Speaker 1: and I had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad.
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  Speaker 1: he had found the law a most unprofitable study, and
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  Speaker 1: was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would
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  Speaker 1: present him to the living in question, of which he
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  Speaker 1: trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well
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  Speaker 1: assured that I had no other person to provide for,
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  Speaker 1: and I could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions.
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  Speaker 1: You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with
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  Speaker 1: this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His
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  Speaker 1: resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances,
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  Speaker 1: and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of
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  Speaker 1: me to others as in his reproaches to myself. After
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  Speaker 1: this period, every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived,
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  Speaker 1: I know not. but last summer he was again most
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  Speaker 1: painfully obtruded on my notice. I must now mention a
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  Speaker 1: circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which
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  Speaker 1: no obligation less than the present should induce me to
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  Speaker 1: unfold to any human being. Having said thus much, I
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  Speaker 1: feel no doubt of your secrecy. My sister, who is
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  Speaker 1: more than ten years my junior, was left to the
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  Speaker 1: guardianship of my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself. About
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  Speaker 1: a year ago she was taken from school, and an
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  Speaker 1: establishment formed for her in London, and last summer she
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  Speaker 1: went with the lady who presided over it to Ramsgate,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and thither also went Mr Wickham, undoubtedly by design, for
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  Speaker 1: there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him
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  Speaker 1: and Mrs Young, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived.
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  Speaker 1: and by her connivance and aid, he so far recommended
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  Speaker 1: himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression
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  Speaker 1: of his kindness to her as a child, that she
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  Speaker 1: was persuaded to believe herself in love and to consent
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  Speaker 1: to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must
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  Speaker 1: be her excuse, and after stating her imprudence, I am
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  Speaker 1: happy to add that I owed the knowledge of it
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  Speaker 1: to herself. I joined them unexpectedly, a day or two
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  Speaker 1: before the intended elopement, and then Georgiana, unable to support
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  Speaker 1: the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she
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  Speaker 1: almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole
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  Speaker 1: to me. You may imagine what I felt and how
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  Speaker 1: I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented
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  Speaker 1: any public exposure. But I wrote to Mr Wickham, who
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  Speaker 1: left the place immediately, and Mrs Younger was of course
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  Speaker 1: removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably
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  Speaker 1: my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds. But I
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  Speaker 1: cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on
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  Speaker 1: me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been
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  Speaker 1: complete indeed. This, madam, is a faithful narrative of every
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  Speaker 1: event in which we have been concerned together. and if
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  Speaker 1: you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will,
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  Speaker 1: I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr. Wickham.
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  Speaker 1: I know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood,
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  Speaker 1: he has imposed on you, but his success is not
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  Speaker 1: perhaps to be wondered at, ignorant as you previously were
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  Speaker 1: of everything concerning either. Detection could not be in your power.
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  Speaker 1: and suspicions certainly not in your inclination. You may possibly
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  Speaker 1: wonder why all this was not told you last night,
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  Speaker 1: but I was not then master enough of myself to
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: know what could or ought to be revealed. For the
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: truth of everything here related, I can appeal more particularly
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam, who, from our near
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  Speaker 1: relationship and constant intimacy, and still more as one of
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  Speaker 1: the executors of my father's will, has been unavoidably acquainted
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  Speaker 1: with every particular of these transactions. If your abhorrence of
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  Speaker 1: me should make my assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented
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  Speaker 1: by the same cause from confiding in my cousin, and
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  Speaker 1: that there may be the possibility of consulting him, I
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  Speaker 1: shall endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter
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  Speaker 1: in your hands in the course of the morning. I
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  Speaker 1: will only add, God bless you. Fitzwilliam Darcy