Latest / She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ / The Marriage Game Plan: Winning Strategies For Lifelong Love with Tondra Gregory

Transcript

The Marriage Game Plan: Winning Strategies For Lifelong Love with Tondra Gregory · She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ

• 0:01
  Hey there, I hope you're enjoying your summer so far.
• 0:05
  Welcome back to She Speaks Life. This is a space where we get
• 0:09
  filled up with encouragement. Come alongside other women who
• 0:14
  put their faith into action and understand the power and what we
• 0:19
  say. It can either bring life or
• 0:21
  destruction and that's found in Proverbs 1821 and Proverbs 1011
• 0:27
  says the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.
• 0:32
  And I want to welcome you to check out not only these
• 0:35
  interview episodes, but my solo episodes called Fuel Your life
• 0:40
  found within this podcast. These episodes are where we take
• 0:44
  a deeper dive into specific scripture and learn how to, like
• 0:48
  James 122 says, not just be hearers of the Word, but be
• 0:53
  doers of the Word as well. Because when we put into action
• 0:57
  with what the word says, that's where obedience happens.
• 1:01
  It's giving our faith legs or wings to move and show up in our
• 1:06
  lives. We also have fun personalizing
• 1:09
  scripture together using the journal called Serenity that you
• 1:13
  can find on my website. And the link is in the show
• 1:15
  notes below. But it's absolutely not required
• 1:19
  to use for these episodes. And I got to say, it's such a
• 1:23
  blessing to hear how much you're loving these episodes, and I
• 1:26
  hope to find you there each and every time.
• 1:29
  So for today's episode, I bring you author Tondra Gregory of her
• 1:34
  book called The Marriage Game Plan, Developing a winning
• 1:39
  strategy for marital success. Tondra and her husband George
• 1:44
  are founders of Journey for Life, and both wrote this book
• 1:48
  to help equip and educate couples for success in their
• 1:52
  marriage. Tondra is a professional
• 1:54
  counselor and therapist. Her and George are chaplains of
• 1:59
  the NFL team, the Chargers, and have helped numerous other
• 2:03
  athletic teams and churches. Follow God's playbook for
• 2:07
  marriage. I absolutely enjoy this
• 2:11
  conversation so much as we talked about why marriages need
• 2:15
  a game plan, a vision statement, and how important it is that we
• 2:20
  understand that we are on the same team and that marriage is a
• 2:24
  reflection of God's image to the world.
• 2:28
  So whether you are not married yet, just got married, or been
• 2:33
  married for a long time, it's never too late to get this book
• 2:37
  and develop a game plan on how to navigate and or respond in a
• 2:42
  loving way in your marriage. I absolutely love my new friend
• 2:46
  Tundra and I know you will too. So if you're ready, I'm ready.
• 2:51
  Let's dive in. Here's my guest, Tundra Gregory.
• 2:57
  Hi, Tondra. Welcome to She Speaks Life.
• 2:59
  I'm so excited you are here with us today.
• 3:02
  Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited for this
• 3:04
  conversation. I know I love your message on
• 3:08
  marriage and boy, do we need a message to encourage us at
• 3:14
  times. And you and her husband are both
• 3:16
  in this ministry. And because it's she speaks
• 3:20
  life, we just have you on here this year.
• 3:23
  Yes. So you both are chaplains for
• 3:27
  the NFL team, the Chargers and have done other teams as well.
• 3:32
  And so I'd love to dive in more into that.
• 3:36
  And before we do, I love to start out with each conversation
• 3:41
  with asking the guest what is a scripture verse that resonates
• 3:46
  right now in your life and why? Yes, I am really connecting with
• 3:52
  Jeremiah 2911 right now, which is, you know, I know the plans I
• 3:57
  have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you, not to
• 4:02
  harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
• 4:07
  And this scripture is resonating with me most right now because
• 4:12
  we are going into uncharted territory outside of our comfort
• 4:16
  zone and at being authors is just a new wing that the Lord is
• 4:22
  adding to us. And it really has stretched us
• 4:26
  and really has got us outside of our comfort zone.
• 4:31
  A funny story. So our neighbors bought our book
• 4:37
  and basically have read the book and they were just like, Hey,
• 4:43
  you guys really put yourself out there in this book.
• 4:46
  And I was like, thank you, Mylan.
• 4:48
  I was already feeling exposed because after I got it all out,
• 4:53
  I was like, oh, like I feel a little exposed right now.
• 4:57
  It's really yourself out there. Yeah, yeah, that's so common.
• 5:01
  I mean, even I've done that with teaching, you know, at the
• 5:07
  women's ministry. I'm teaching on something and
• 5:10
  I'm like, oh, I feel really vulnerable right now.
• 5:12
  I really shared a lot. You know, that's just the spirit
• 5:16
  going taking over, right? The Holy Spirit taken over.
• 5:19
  So you wrote a book called The Marriage Game Plan, developing a
• 5:23
  winning strategy for marital success.
• 5:26
  And I absolutely love that title, The Marriage Game Plan,
• 5:31
  because I mean, you walk into marriage and there's unexpected
• 5:37
  things that come up. And I know my earlier years of
• 5:41
  marriage, I needed to navigate through things.
• 5:45
  And books like this really help you to set up a, a plan so
• 5:51
  you're prepared to respond with things that come up or how to
• 5:55
  handle things. So I absolutely love you and
• 5:58
  your husband's heartbeat on equipping and educating couples
• 6:02
  to build successful marriages, marriages that are strong in the
• 6:07
  Lord. And I love how this kind of goes
• 6:10
  along with being the chaplains for the NFL, which is really
• 6:15
  what spiritual mentors for the team.
• 6:19
  Yes, yes, yes. Like it's kind of the pastoral
• 6:22
  role of the team because on Sundays and weekends are this is
• 6:29
  they don't get to attend church during football season and
• 6:33
  football season is long. It's it's over six months out of
• 6:37
  the year. So a lot of teams will just have
• 6:40
  that chaplain around for that spiritual wisdom and spiritual
• 6:43
  guidance. My husband works with the men.
• 6:47
  You know, he'll have coaches, Bible study players, Bible
• 6:50
  study, Chapel service. But I work with the women and
• 6:55
  you know, with the coaches wives and the player wives and
• 6:57
  girlfriends. My husband has a joke and he was
• 7:01
  like oh she can go anywhere in the in the building besides the
• 7:04
  locker room for fear that she might leave me for 8 pack of
• 7:08
  abs. So.
• 7:12
  So we do Bible studies with the corporate executives and it's
• 7:16
  kind of like a church within the organization.
• 7:18
  Oh, I love it. Well, and and it's so unique.
• 7:21
  I mean, that doesn't always come across your e-mail, you know,
• 7:25
  inbox of having guests that are chaplains of NFL teams and I
• 7:31
  didn't even really realize that they have that So so good that
• 7:36
  God has called you into that. So.
• 7:39
  So how did that shape writing this book The game Plan?
• 7:45
  Yes, it shaped it tremendously because one, God just put it on
• 7:49
  our heart just through our personal struggles in marriage
• 7:54
  and overcoming some of those obstacles.
• 7:57
  We didn't have a game plan when we got married, so by the grace
• 8:02
  of God we figured out how to make our marriage work and
• 8:05
  that's why we say we are pictures of God's grace.
• 8:08
  We are not coming to help you because we are experts and that
• 8:12
  we did everything right. Yeah, we are coming because God
• 8:16
  has shown us the path. And immediately we were just
• 8:20
  like, Oh my gosh, I wish we had known that you can figure this
• 8:23
  thing out. And we immediately want to help
• 8:25
  other couples get that game plan.
• 8:28
  And so being NFL chaplains was a big part of God preparing us for
• 8:33
  this because after these players retire, the divorce rate is like
• 8:38
  70% after they retire from professional football.
• 8:44
  So we were just like, OK, God, you are leading us to an area
• 8:49
  that is decimated by with marriages for us to come in and
• 8:53
  help give give that game plan to coaches and players for their
• 8:58
  marriages because of the challenges that they face that,
• 9:03
  you know, everyday couples might not have to deal with.
• 9:06
  And honestly, when we came with the Chargers, we felt like God
• 9:10
  also brought us to an area that has a 72% divorce rate in Orange
• 9:18
  County, California. And I was like, OK, so this is
• 9:22
  like God is giving us our demographic that he wants us to
• 9:25
  minister to in this area of marriages and helping people get
• 9:29
  that game plan and being proactive too, like not
• 9:33
  reactive. Because a lot of times it's in
• 9:36
  hindsight after you've been struggling and you never really
• 9:40
  reached out to get that game, which is never too late to get a
• 9:44
  game plan. So let me just say that.
• 9:46
  But it's about being proactive and laying out that plan so that
• 9:51
  you can set yourself up for success.
• 9:54
  George Dad used to say, if you fail to plan, then you plan to
• 9:59
  fail, right? So having a game plan to help
• 10:02
  you navigate those things is going to be crucial.
• 10:07
  Yeah, yeah, 100%. So you wrote in your book about
• 10:11
  a vision statement and I think that's so great because none of
• 10:16
  us are thinking about writing a vision statement for our
• 10:18
  marriage, right? Like we're we're thinking, you
• 10:21
  know, our dreams, you know, our, our careers or, you know,
• 10:25
  something other than a marriage. So when I read that, I was like,
• 10:30
  wow, that's that's a aha moment there to write down a vision
• 10:34
  statement for your marriage. So you say that's an important
• 10:38
  first step. I could understand that like why
• 10:41
  before you when you're plotting your plan?
• 10:43
  So let's talk about that. What what do you mean by vision
• 10:47
  statement? How would you do that?
• 10:49
  Yeah, so a vision statement is starting with the end in mind,
• 10:54
  right? Like we're not just doing
• 10:56
  marriage haphazardly, going nowhere.
• 10:59
  You have to know what you're where you're going.
• 11:02
  So you set that vision statement, which then serves as
• 11:05
  a compass to direct your steps, your actions, your decisions,
• 11:10
  your behaviors. Now you know what you're
• 11:12
  aligning it for, right? Not just randomly, yeah, but a,
• 11:17
  we're heading towards something. There's something that's the end
• 11:20
  game goal. That's the end game picture that
• 11:23
  we want to reach. And so it just gives you more
• 11:28
  structure and direction as you're as spouses you, it puts
• 11:33
  you on the same page going in the same direction.
• 11:36
  And sometimes we assume that we assume that we are on the same
• 11:41
  page as couples, but you can't assume that.
• 11:44
  You actually have to make sure that we are on the same page and
• 11:49
  that we have that same vision in mind, or you're going to be
• 11:52
  frustrated and bumping heads with each other.
• 11:55
  Yes, assumptions are dangerous. I know that that was good that
• 12:03
  you said that You can't just assume because there's so many
• 12:07
  times disagreements came up, conflict came up in our marriage
• 12:12
  because we both assumed, you know, each other or what we're
• 12:16
  thinking or what we were gonna do.
• 12:18
  And so that's good. That's that's good to have the
• 12:23
  end game in mind, like you said, and, and being intentional.
• 12:27
  That's just being intentional and being on purpose like you
• 12:30
  said. And so let's talk about what you
• 12:35
  said in your book and it it, it contains 4 main purposes that
• 12:41
  God had in creating marriage. And I think this is so important
• 12:46
  for us to know. So maybe chat about one of them.
• 12:50
  Maybe it's the one that marriage reflects God's image to the
• 12:53
  world. If you have another one, that
• 12:56
  would be great. What would you like to share on
• 12:58
  that? Yeah.
• 12:59
  So yes, one of the purposes of God is to reflect his image to
• 13:04
  your family and to your community and to your spouse,
• 13:09
  right. So I like to say like marriage
• 13:12
  is God's idea and he has a purpose for it to carry out.
• 13:18
  So it's not just about meeting our needs, it's not about us
• 13:22
  just being self focused, but what how can we represent God in
• 13:27
  our actions, the way we love, the way we forgive, the way we
• 13:31
  serve. So God chose the family to be
• 13:36
  the vehicle in which he wanted to pass his legacy, his nature
• 13:40
  on to the next generation. So reflecting God's image is
• 13:45
  legacy work. So you want to make sure that
• 13:48
  you are representing God's nature and character to your
• 13:51
  kids and to your family and to your community around you.
• 13:55
  And I always like to say because we live in a selfie generation
• 14:00
  where we are obsessed with making sure we put the best
• 14:03
  images of ourselves out there on social media.
• 14:06
  I watch my daughter and her friends take 1000 photos and
• 14:10
  only one is worthy to be seen to reflect what image they want to
• 14:17
  reflect. Right.
• 14:18
  Hold on. Have you ever been the
• 14:20
  photographer for your daughter? I have.
• 14:24
  And it was like, no, mom, no, no.
• 14:26
  And then handed me the phone again, No higher note this.
• 14:30
  No, I told you to stand it. I was like, Oh my gosh, I wanted
• 14:34
  to throw the phone. At one point.
• 14:37
  I was like, I'm not doing this. I walk.
• 14:39
  Yes. Oh yes, I have been banned from
• 14:43
  taking photos, but yes. And so it's like, what a
• 14:49
  beautiful opportunity for marriage to be that best selfie
• 14:53
  to reflect God's image to the world, to our community and to
• 14:58
  our kids and our family is. So just having that in mind,
• 15:02
  it's not about us, but what, what, how can we introduce God?
• 15:07
  How can we show Him to the others around us through that?
• 15:11
  Image so good and and the biblical of you know the husband
• 15:16
  treating the wife like Jesus treats the church you know, and
• 15:20
  it's just like you were saying when you were talking about the
• 15:22
  reflection of God's nature. There's just some much beauty
• 15:26
  and marriage. So you touched on rest and
• 15:29
  recovery. Like every athlete has to rest
• 15:32
  and recover. So what does that mean in a
• 15:37
  marriage? What rest and recover was that
• 15:40
  look like? What do you, you and and your
• 15:42
  husband do? Yes, yes.
• 15:44
  So what we've learned from professional athletes is that
• 15:49
  rest and recovery is just as important as how you play the
• 15:52
  game, right? I just feel like we're living in
• 15:55
  a world that you feel like you are so driven and you have to
• 16:00
  accomplish and achieve and sometimes you feel guilty to
• 16:04
  take time out for that rest and recovery so that you can have
• 16:08
  more capacity to go out here and do the things and operate at
• 16:13
  your peak levels. You have, you have to have a
• 16:16
  rhythm of rest and recovery as families and couples.
• 16:19
  We are so busy. I mean, the schedules are so
• 16:24
  demanding. And it's not like the schedules
• 16:26
  gonna ever just say, OK, here's where you go and you rest and
• 16:30
  recover. And so we have to create those
• 16:33
  rhythms in our lives is just taking that time to so we can
• 16:39
  have the capacity to love each other as spouses, the capacity
• 16:42
  to have that quality time with our kids.
• 16:45
  So making sure that we couples know like, no, this is an
• 16:49
  intentional act to say if I want to give my best, if I want to
• 16:54
  have more to give, I have to give myself permission to rest
• 16:59
  and recover and not feel guilty about that, right?
• 17:02
  Not to like the Bible is, you know, God is our example and he
• 17:08
  rested on the 7th day. He rested, right?
• 17:10
  And surely we're not as important or as busy as God
• 17:15
  himself, right? Like it's OK to have that rest
• 17:18
  and recovery, and it's important to have it.
• 17:20
  Yeah, I, I just look back at how many times my husband and I went
• 17:25
  on dates when our kids were younger.
• 17:27
  It was like, oh, what a treat to get away.
• 17:30
  And then as they grew up, we wanted them to come with us, you
• 17:36
  know, to dinner or whatever, cuz they're now, you know, you don't
• 17:40
  feel like you necessarily have to get away, you know, and have
• 17:43
  that break. It's just fun because they're
• 17:45
  growing up as young adults and you know, yeah, come to the
• 17:48
  movie with us and come have dinner because you know, they
• 17:52
  can act, you know, mature and it's fun.
• 17:54
  But then I found, you know, you go on these family vacations and
• 18:01
  it's well needed. It's a blast.
• 18:04
  But then I realized there's a difference when just my husband
• 18:08
  and I go on these weekend trips or a week long trip where it
• 18:13
  doesn't have anything to do with the kids and it's just him and
• 18:17
  I. And there's a different type of
• 18:20
  rest and recovery than if I was going on a family vacation with
• 18:25
  my kids, even though now they're older and couple of them now
• 18:29
  have spouses. But it's like, I love that.
• 18:32
  But then I also like you're saying there's that rest and
• 18:36
  recovery of just rekindling and just, you know, dating each
• 18:42
  other and, you know, and just making the marriage just about
• 18:48
  him and I and, and, and not have these distractions of, you know,
• 18:52
  family things going on. It really is needed because we
• 18:56
  get done with those type of vacations.
• 18:58
  We just went to Santa Barbara recently and we did fun things
• 19:04
  together. You know, we rode bikes, we
• 19:06
  golfed and we love doing those things together.
• 19:09
  And it's such a refreshment. You know, you get back and you
• 19:12
  do you feel stronger in your relationship, You feel closer.
• 19:17
  You're you're just strengthened and.
• 19:19
  Refreshed. Yeah.
• 19:20
  And this is what I tell moms, especially because sometimes,
• 19:25
  you know, moms feel guilty. I'm not sure men feel as guilty
• 19:29
  as we feel to not have the kids around, but maybe they do.
• 19:32
  Yeah. But.
• 19:34
  I say the best gift that you can give your kids is that healthy
• 19:40
  relationship and that healthy model of prioritizing and loving
• 19:45
  each other and having that capacity to love each other.
• 19:48
  When my daughter went off to college a few years ago, she
• 19:52
  wrote my husband a letter, you know, just to thank him for
• 19:57
  showing her how she wants to be loved in her marriage.
• 20:01
  And it just really brought him to tears.
• 20:04
  And it brought me to tears as well.
• 20:06
  Because that's what you want. You want your kids to see like,
• 20:10
  whoa, like, this is fun. Marriage is fun.
• 20:13
  It is hard work, but. I want to be loved like that.
• 20:16
  I want to have share my life with someone like that.
• 20:21
  And so it's the best gift that we can give is to really reflect
• 20:26
  that to our kids. Yeah, yeah.
• 20:29
  Have them emulate our marriage, you know, and what that looks
• 20:33
  like. Be a role model with that.
• 20:35
  That's so important. And I absolutely love that you
• 20:40
  touched on feeling like a team because that for me, really
• 20:47
  resonates with me because when I'm in a disagreement with my
• 20:53
  husband, you're naturally feeling like you're not on the
• 20:58
  same team, right? And you're looking at them like
• 21:01
  they're the enemy. And, and so as soon as I cut
• 21:07
  that lie, that division that the enemy wants you to live in with
• 21:11
  your spouse, as soon as I start to tell myself we're on the same
• 21:17
  team, or if I say it out loud with him, hey, we're on the same
• 21:22
  team because it's, it's usually like something with the kids or
• 21:26
  something like that, right? And you have this feeling he's
• 21:29
  got his own opinion. And and then you just feel like
• 21:33
  you're not on the same team, but really you are.
• 21:37
  The enemy just likes to come in and try to, you know, make you
• 21:40
  feel like you're not. And so because God designed
• 21:45
  marriage as you know, where it's us, then the kids, you know, and
• 21:50
  we can get that so flipped where it's like kids come first, you
• 21:55
  know, and you kind of push your husband out of the way and I got
• 21:58
  this, you know, with the kids. And it's like, no, you know,
• 22:02
  that's not how it works. It's like you and your husband
• 22:05
  are first, then your kids. So it's like it's God, you guys
• 22:09
  and kids. And so just realizing that and
• 22:14
  shutting down that lie and saying we're on the same team,
• 22:18
  it just destroys the conflict. I feel like it really starts to
• 22:23
  develop this unity that you're trying to have that that in game
• 22:29
  plan in mind, right? So, so I would love for you to
• 22:32
  just touch on that. Yes, absolutely.
• 22:36
  So being on the same team, it, it reframes, you have to have
• 22:41
  that recalibration when you're in conflict that you aren't
• 22:45
  enemies. You might feel like it, but you
• 22:48
  have to recalibrate that mentality that you are enemies
• 22:53
  because like you said, like the there is an enemy that wants to
• 22:59
  see you divided, that does not want to see you get on that same
• 23:03
  team and work as a team because that that's what the
• 23:07
  recalibration is. It's like, oh, well, if this is
• 23:10
  my teammate and not my enemy, then I can be open to their
• 23:15
  influence, their perspective. I can invite that in and, and we
• 23:19
  are working towards a unified solution to this plan.
• 23:24
  It just helps align you. It helps put you on that side,
• 23:29
  on the opposite side of, OK, we're not the problem.
• 23:33
  The problem is the problem. And so let's work together to
• 23:38
  find the solution. So that team mentality does
• 23:41
  bring in that unified approach to those things that might cause
• 23:46
  us to feel divided, but it's not true.
• 23:49
  We're not divided. We want the same things.
• 23:52
  When you, that's what the Bible is talking about with that
• 23:55
  oneness. It's like, no, we need to.
• 23:57
  When we can solve these problems as a team, it brings us to
• 24:01
  alignment, and it brings us more reinforced in our oneness as we
• 24:05
  move forward as a couple. Yeah, that's so good.
• 24:08
  You had touched in your book about the common pitfalls of
• 24:12
  trust, so share a little bit on that.
• 24:16
  What are some common pitfalls that can occur when it comes to
• 24:19
  trusting our spouse? Yes, some common pitfalls are
• 24:24
  just not realizing that trust is a gift and it is easy to lose
• 24:32
  and it's hard to regain. So if you have your spouse's
• 24:36
  trust, you view that as a precious gift and work really
• 24:41
  hard to not lose that trust. And a lot of times couples don't
• 24:47
  realize that when when I'm not keeping my word and even little
• 24:53
  things or the consistency of my actions and choices and
• 24:57
  behaviors, it can give a unsafe feeling in the relationship,
• 25:03
  which could lead to mistrust that you don't have my best
• 25:09
  interests at heart. And trust is basically that you
• 25:13
  have my best interests at heart, that you're not out here to harm
• 25:16
  me. You are for me and you are not
• 25:19
  against me, right? And so that is picked up in the
• 25:22
  little decisions that we make and the choices that we make.
• 25:26
  And social media has really brought in another whole element
• 25:30
  of having those trust building choices and behaviors that are
• 25:35
  to help you, your spouse feel safe in the relationship.
• 25:40
  So setting those boundaries with opposite sex friendships or
• 25:45
  relationships, I always, I tell the story in the book about
• 25:50
  George and I were at this celebration.
• 25:54
  It was like a like a outside barbecue.
• 25:57
  And so it was like a big party. And a friend of ours was going
• 26:01
  through a divorce and he was hurting.
• 26:05
  And I'm a, I'm a professional counselor, therapist, so people
• 26:11
  are usually drawn to me for that.
• 26:14
  They feel that. And so he just wanted to just
• 26:17
  talk to me. And he just, we were just in the
• 26:20
  corner. George says.
• 26:21
  We were in the corner for a long time and it looked like an
• 26:24
  intimate conversation. And George was like, you know,
• 26:28
  I'm, I'm really not comfortable with this.
• 26:31
  And, and I said to him, I said, George, well, you don't have to
• 26:36
  worry about that again because I will never want you to feel
• 26:40
  unsafe in your relationship with me.
• 26:43
  That is a trust building response.
• 26:46
  A non trust building response would be, oh man, it was
• 26:49
  nothing, get over it. You don't be so insecure like
• 26:52
  it's no big deal. You don't trust me.
• 26:54
  You know those are non trust building behaviors, but trust
• 26:58
  building behaviors will reflect that I have your best interests
• 27:02
  at heart. I want you to feel safe, so I
• 27:05
  will respond with safety for you.
• 27:07
  Oh, I yes, I absolutely love that.
• 27:10
  And you know, how many times do we say that response of, you
• 27:16
  know, trust me and you know, you're insecure, but I love the
• 27:22
  right response is telling your husband that that will never
• 27:26
  happen again and and acknowledging his feelings on
• 27:30
  that. You know, where we're not being
• 27:32
  self focused, we're looking after the needs of our spouse
• 27:37
  and really paying attention to what makes them uncomfortable
• 27:42
  and what would make them more comfortable.
• 27:44
  So that's that's so good. OK.
• 27:46
  I'm curious, like if somebody is going through some marriage
• 27:51
  issues, do you have just the strategy and game plan?
• 27:55
  Do you have it where it's unique for each individual or each
• 28:00
  marriage? Or do you have it basically
• 28:03
  there's the foundations for all of the marriages and then you
• 28:08
  kind of tweak it to their unique needs.
• 28:12
  Like I'm just trying to picture myself, you know, you're a
• 28:15
  professional counselor and therapist.
• 28:17
  So you're, you know, you've got a game and then already in place
• 28:21
  for the marriage. Do you do you tailor make it or
• 28:24
  do you take what you have in this book and then apply it to
• 28:28
  them, but then uniquely tailor it for them?
• 28:31
  Yeah, yeah, I'm so glad you asked that question.
• 28:35
  This is one of the things that George and I are most proud
• 28:38
  about. We created this book to be what
• 28:40
  we needed when we were going through our tough time trying to
• 28:45
  figure out how to love each other and how to be married.
• 28:49
  We created this book so that it is unique to each couple that's
• 28:54
  going through it. So at the end of each chapter is
• 28:59
  very interactive. So there are a lot of things at
• 29:02
  the end. We have questions for you to
• 29:05
  talk to each other about. We have activities that help
• 29:07
  build skills for that particular topic to help you get a game
• 29:11
  plan on the topic that we're talking about.
• 29:14
  And then there's a QR code at the at the in that it's called
• 29:18
  putting it into practice section, all of this stuff that
• 29:22
  I'm talking about. And that QR code is where it'll
• 29:25
  lead you to a video where George and I are speaking even more
• 29:29
  just trying to coach you on that particular chapter.
• 29:33
  And what the couple doesn't realize, if they are reading and
• 29:37
  doing all of the putting it into practice, what they're doing is
• 29:42
  building their own unique game plan.
• 29:44
  And by the time they get to Chapter 10, Chapter 10 is
• 29:48
  basically helping them pull everything together to create
• 29:52
  their own unique game plan that they can take with them, refer
• 29:56
  back to it as needed, adjust it as life happens or, but it just
• 30:01
  starts them with their unique game plan and it puts them on
• 30:04
  the same page and going in the same direction.
• 30:07
  And that is one of the things that we are most proud about is
• 30:13
  OK. It's not just something you're
• 30:14
  going to read, it's something going to be interacting with and
• 30:18
  you're going to be building a game plan for your marriage as a
• 30:22
  couple. I love that.
• 30:24
  That's absolutely amazing. Yes, I'm so glad I asked that
• 30:28
  question because, you know, it's not one fits for all, you know,
• 30:34
  So that's so good and I love that uniqueness about this book
• 30:39
  and it's so good. All right, at the end, I love
• 30:44
  offering an invitation for the guests to share a take away,
• 30:49
  something that the that the listener can ponder on or take
• 30:52
  action in. What would you like to conclude
• 30:56
  for us? Yes.
• 30:58
  So what I would like to conclude is listen, is so getting married
• 31:03
  and being married and staying married, just three different
• 31:06
  things, right? And it's never too late.
• 31:09
  No matter where you are in your relationship right now, it's
• 31:12
  never too plan. One thing that George and I like
• 31:15
  to say is people drown because they don't want to raise their
• 31:19
  hand to get help for their marriage.
• 31:23
  And so they drown because they don't want to draw attention to
• 31:25
  themselves. So the thing to ponder and take
• 31:28
  away is listen, raise your hand. Don't die in a sea of
• 31:33
  lifeguards. Look for there's so many
• 31:36
  resources out here to help you get a game plan.
• 31:40
  George and I say God has a sense of humor rumor that we're
• 31:43
  sitting here writing a book on marriage, helping couples.
• 31:46
  We should not be here, but because we were able to roll up
• 31:52
  our sleeves, figure this out with the Lord and get this game
• 31:55
  plan, it saved our marriage. So I'm just encouraging each
• 32:00
  person on here. If you're finding yourself in a
• 32:03
  situation where you are struggling and it doesn't have
• 32:05
  to be, you don't have to be in a bad place.
• 32:07
  You could be in a good place, but you know that hey, let's go
• 32:10
  ahead and get our game plan. So I just want to encourage
• 32:13
  everyone that there is hope for your marriage and to don't drown
• 32:17
  in a sea of lifeguards, raise your hand and get the help you
• 32:21
  need. Yeah, that's.
• 32:23
  So good, yeah, get rid of the pride and humility and and I
• 32:29
  think it's the ones that had the struggle and know what it's like
• 32:33
  that make the best marriage counselors, the best publishers
• 32:38
  for marriage books. I mean, you know, ones that
• 32:42
  never really truly had to struggle.
• 32:45
  What are you writing about? Right.
• 32:46
  It's it's you got to have the testimonies and how you overcame
• 32:51
  with God and going through those trials and hardships.
• 32:57
  So I love it. Thank you, Tondra, you and
• 33:01
  George for the obedience and saying yes and writing this
• 33:06
  amazing book called the marriage game plan, developing a winning
• 33:10
  strategy for marital success and where can people find you
• 33:15
  connect with you and buy your book?
• 33:18
  Yes, so. Our book is sold on anywhere you
• 33:21
  online that you get your online books or bookstores.
• 33:25
  And also so our social media is at George A Gregory at Tondra
• 33:31
  Gregory and AT Journey for Life and our website is Journey for
• 33:35
  lifenow.org, right? Well, thank you.
• 33:39
  So much wisdom on marriage and encouragement.
• 33:42
  Thank you so much. For having me, it was so fun.
• 33:46
  It was. It's a pleasure meeting you.
• 33:47
  Yeah. Appreciate you so much.
• 33:51
  Thank you so much for listening today, and I trust that God has
• 33:55
  encouraged you through this story.
• 33:57
  Did you know this podcast is on YouTube?
• 34:00
  Hop on there and subscribe and you can see a live recording of
• 34:04
  each episode. And For more information on this
• 34:08
  ministry and to access free downloads, please visit my
• 34:11
  website at jamieelizabeth.com. That's JAYME elizabeth.com.
• 34:18
  And let's connect beyond this podcast by going to my Instagram
• 34:22
  handle, Jamie Elizabeth. She speaks life or Facebook.
• 34:26
  Until next time, my friend, I hope God reveals himself through
• 34:29
  your own life story.