Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Fire Someone in Their First Year
Transcript
- Lucas: So I want to talk about something today that almost no one prepares you for. The first time you have to fire someone as a new manager. It is one of those moments that stays with you. And if you do it wrong, it can haunt you professionally. Luna: I think most people in our audience are probably in their first management role. And the thought of firing someone feels overwhelming. Lucas: It should feel overwhelming. If it doesn't, you're probably in the wrong job. But the key is that you don't have to figure it out in the moment. There is a process. There is a script. And there are specific rules of thumb that make this manageable. Luna: Let's start with the hardest case. You manage someone who used to be your peer. You've known them for two years. You like them. They are not performing. Lucas: Exactly. That's the scenario I want to anchor on. I was talking to a product manager at a mid-size SaaS company. She'd been promoted to engineering manager. One of her old teammates was now her direct report. The guy had been a good individual contributor — solid, reliable, average. But as a senior engineer in her new team, he just wasn't delivering. Missed three sprint deadlines. Code quality dropped. He started coming in late. She tried coaching, setting clearer expectations, even moved him to a different project pod. Nothing stuck. Luna: How long did she let it go? Lucas: Five months. That is too long. The rule of thumb most HR teams will tell you is that if you have had three honest conversations about a performance gap, and you have seen no sustained improvement within 30 days of the last conversation, it is time to move toward a formal improvement plan. She waited until month five. By then, the rest of the team knew he was struggling, morale was dipping, and she had lost credibility for not acting sooner. Luna: So the first mistake is waiting too long. What's the second? Lucas: Trying to outsource the conversation to HR. She almost did that. She asked HR to handle the termination meeting. That is a huge mistake. The manager has to own it. HR can be in the room for support and compliance, but the words need to come from you. If you farm it out, your team will see you as someone who can't do the hard part of management. Luna: What does the actual script look like? I've heard managers stumble through saying 'we're letting you go' in seven different euphemisms. Lucas: It should be direct and human. Here is the structure I recommend. First, state the purpose. 'I've asked you to meet today to discuss your role on the team. After several conversations and a formal improvement plan, we have not seen the change that was needed. We have decided to end your employment.' That's it. No softening. No 'this is hard for me.' No 'I'm sorry.' The word 'sorry' implies guilt, and you are not guilty. You are making a business decision. Luna: Do you mention the improvement plan by name? Lucas: Yes. By name. Because you have documentation. The improvement plan should have stated clear metrics and a timeline — typically 30 days. If they didn't meet it, you reference that. It protects you legally and it gives the employee a clear reason. They may disagree, but they can't say they didn't know. Luna: And the documentation piece — how much do you need? Lucas: Enough to show a pattern. I use what I call the one-third rule. For every performance conversation you have, you should write one-third of a page of notes. That's a few bullet points. Date, specific example, what was agreed. If you have three conversations, you have one page. That's enough to show a reasonable effort. Plus the formal written improvement plan. That's your foundation. Luna: One-third of a page per conversation. I like that. It's manageable. Lucas: And it forces you to be specific. 'On May 10, you said you would deliver the API integration by May 17. On May 18, it was still not submitted. We agreed you would communicate delays earlier.' That's a concrete record. Vague notes like 'performance issues discussed' are worthless. Luna: Let's talk about the probation period. Many companies have a 90-day probation for new hires. But in this case, the person was already a tenured employee moving to a new role under a new manager. Does probation still apply? Lucas: It depends on the company policy. Some companies treat internal transfers as a new probationary period. Others don't. But regardless of policy, the first 90 days in a new role are the easiest time to part ways. The bar for cause is lower. The emotional attachment is thinner. If you suspect it's not going to work, act within that window. The cost of a bad hire or a bad promotion multiplies every month after day 90. Luna: What about the legal risks? At-will employment means you can fire someone for almost any reason that's not discriminatory. But new managers are terrified of lawsuits. Lucas: Legitimate fear. But the best defense is process. If you follow a consistent process — documented conversations, clear improvement plan, fair timeline — you are in a strong position. The employee can still sue, but they will lose. The cases that settle are the ones where the manager did something sloppy: fired someone without warning, or used subjective language like 'not a culture fit' without evidence. Stick to behavior and performance metrics. Luna: I want to talk about the emotional side for the manager. After the meeting, what do you do? Do you go back to your desk and work on a spreadsheet? Lucas: No. You take 30 minutes. Close your door. Go for a walk. Breathe. You just did something that feels awful even when it's necessary. You need to reset. Then you have to tell the team. That's another conversation. You don't share details about the employee's performance, but you acknowledge the change. 'As of today, Sarah is no longer with the company. I can't share specifics, but I want to be transparent that this was a performance-related decision. I'll be available to answer any questions you have.' Then you move on. Don't gossip. Don't vent. Luna: And the employee themselves? What about severance? References? Lucas: Severance is usually handled by HR. Standard is two to four weeks of pay per year of service. But that varies. References — most companies have a policy to only confirm dates of employment and job title. That's to avoid defamation claims. So as a manager, you do not offer to give a personal reference unless you are absolutely certain you can be positive. If you have doubts, it's safer to decline. Luna: One thing I've seen new managers do is try to make the employee feel better during the termination meeting. They say things like 'I know you'll find something great' or 'This is really more about the role than you.' Does that help? Lucas: It doesn't help the employee. They are in shock. They are not processing reassurance. And it can backfire legally because it sounds like you're admitting the decision is arbitrary. Keep it clean. 'This decision is final. Here are the logistics: your last day is today, you will receive severance of X weeks, and HR will discuss benefits. Do you have any questions?' That's respectful. That's clear. Luna: So the key takeaways: act early, document conversations, use a script, own the meeting yourself, and keep the message simple. Anything else? Lucas: One more. After the termination, spend time with the people who remain. They are watching you. They want to see that you care about the team. You don't need to apologize for the decision, but you can acknowledge it's a difficult moment. Check in with each person individually over the next week. Ask how they're doing. That's where you rebuild trust. Luna: It sounds like firing someone is actually a leadership test. The way you handle it says more about you than any project plan ever could. Lucas: Exactly. And if you pass that test, your team will follow you through anything. Luna: If this episode helped you think through a tough career decision, maybe you'd consider supporting the show. It keeps us ad-free and focused on real, practical advice. You can do that at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Yeah, listeners like you are the reason we can spend time on topics like this instead of rushing through to fit ad breaks. So thank you. Luna: Alright, back to the topic. One last question: what if the employee cries? What do you do? Lucas: You pause. You hand them a tissue. You say, 'I understand this is difficult. Take your time.' Then you wait. You don't fill the silence with chatter. After a moment, you continue with the logistics. It's okay to be human. But you don't change the outcome. Luna: Good advice. Thanks, Lucas. That's all for this episode of New Manager Conversations. Lucas: Thanks, Luna. See you next time.