Latest / She Said It Out Loud with Emma Young / What it's like to be an LA Actress/Writer for over 20 years - American sister Abby Miller!

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What it's like to be an LA Actress/Writer for over 20 years - American sister Abby Miller! · She Said It Out Loud with Emma Young

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to She Said It Out Loud, where real women share real stories without sugarcoating a thing.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Emma Young, and I'll bring you on filtered conversations with ambitious women who faced challenges, made bold moves, and learned a lot along the way.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: You'll get real takeaways, honest lessons, and stories that you're gonna relate to.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Righto, let's get started.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there and welcome to the podcast.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Emma Young, and this is She Said It Out Loud.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is sponsored by Matsos Brewery in Broom.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you happen to be travelling to Broome this dry season, you must go and check out Matso's Brewery.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: It is an iconic destination to go to.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Its restaurant and beer gardens, and of course, its famous ginger beer are an absolute must when you are visiting.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Best bet is to go and check out their socials page to see what's happening currently.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode, I have Abby Miller.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: She is an actress in LA and has been living here for the past 20 plus years.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I happen to be recording this episode in Los Angeles, and I met Abby because I was an exchange student way back in 1998, and I lived with the Miller family.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the Miller family had four siblings, Zach, Abby, Molly, and Rebecca.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And while I was in LA, I know I knew that I had to get all three girls onto my podcast, individually, of course, to have a chat about all the different jobs that they do because they are creative out of 10.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode features Abby, and she is the eldest out of the Millers.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: She is an actress, she is a writer, a producer.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Our conversation, we talk about all the things and what it's like to be an actress for over 20 years living in Los Angeles.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Here's our conversation.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the podcast, Abby.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I would have banged on in the intro.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: I say this all the time, but I would have, about how much of a legend you are.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was sitting here this morning working out just how long we've known each other, and it is 28 years.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's how old we are.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're giving away our ages.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: But for those people that were listening, and you would have heard me say it in the intro, Abby is my eldest American sister, and I call her that because I live with her in Clay Center in Nebraska back in 98.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: She was, I think you're a year and a half older.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So Abby was a senior for the first half of a year that I was there, and then she graduated and she went off to college.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it was Molly and I at home running amuck.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: In that time, we have kept in contact.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this is my eighth trip back to America, and so it's been every single time I had to come and visit you.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: On this occasion, I had to get you on the podcast.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to say thank you for sitting across from me and taking time out because I know that you're incredibly busy.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, anything for you.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yay.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: For real.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So tell my listeners a bit about yourself.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know you like the back of my hand, but I want everyone to know about you.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm from Nebraska, as Emma said.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: I moved to LA in 2003.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I graduated with a degree in theater performance, and I decided to move to LA.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been here for 23 years now, almost, which is bonkers.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I moved here to be an actor.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I essentially have spent the first 20 years of my life, of my life in LA acting and doing I started off doing commercials and then worked my way up into like co-stars and then guest stars.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: And if you want me to go into that in more detail, I will.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then recurrents on shows and then series regulars, and I've done films, and then I had started having kids and I started writing, and so I kind of do it all.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a mom, I'm an actor, I'm a writer.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: I am very hopeful that I will be like a producer and a director soon too.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So Wow, your resume is incredible.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean thanks.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: 23 years in LA is a long joke.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's a long time.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about LA life.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I feel like, especially for my Aussie listeners, they're gonna be like, it just sounds incredible to go from somewhere as small as Nebraska to then move to LA.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then you would have seen all the things in the past 23 years, how much it's changed.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You went through the writer's strike, which would have been two strikes, I think.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: I've I've been here for two.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Really two.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: There was one really early on, and then obviously in like 2023, that was the big one.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Or 2022, 2023.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I was saying to you earlier, it's like there's numerous versions of LA that I've been through.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like I moved here when I was in my early 20s and I lived in Hollywood.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: And like I, you know, I was I wasn't ever a like partier or a like a clubber.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: I do remember really early on somebody saying to me that like, no, you have to go to a club, a club, because that's how you're gonna meet people.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you're gonna meet people and you're gonna get jobs if you go to these clubs at night.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember thinking, well, it's so not that so wasn't me.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so very early on, I was like, I wanna, I'm gonna pave my own way and I'm not gonna do it the way that other people are doing it, obviously.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: That version is like I lived in Hollywood.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: I went to, I had my roommate Adam.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: We would go to the one-on-one coffee shop and we'd always see famous people.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: We'd be up much later.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's like the version ne I mean, there's like the version of moving to Silver Lake, which is a really cool vibe, like Silver Lake Highland Park, Echo Park.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: For any of you listening, if you come to LA, those are like the hot spots, great food.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: There's the Silver Lake Meadow where you're like, there's a lot of famous people frequent those spots too, but it was a more like just like a hipster vibe.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that was when I was doing music.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: And funny enough, Molly and Rebecca lived like really close to me.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: We were all within like a couple miles of each other, meeting our now husbands, um, our partners.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: 2019, we moved to to uh to Panga Canyon area, which is a really historically a really cool spot for music, a music scene.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like a kind of it's known for being very like hippy-dippy, for lack of a better way to say it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like this the scenery, I feel like, uh especially for Australians, when you picture the canyons where people go walking.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel like it's kind of like that.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's like very, it's a lot of canyons.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's like one way in and one way out is Tapanga.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: But I live right where it butts up against Tapanga and Woodland Hill.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like close to a freeway, close-ish to a f a freeway.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's like, but Tapanga has like a reputation.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's been like in the 70s.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like a lot of like the greatest singers, songwriters out there were living in either Laurel Canyon or Topanga, and it had definitely has a vibe.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: But we didn't move there for that.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: We just moved there because we found this m amazing house in a canyon and we were ready, we had were having kids and we were ready to escape.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, I think that the scene of LA has always been like very culturally driven, a lot of great food.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, the industry, which, as we're probably gonna talk about, that is kind of everything's been stirred up and we don't really know.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, our industry is definitely suffering in Los Angeles.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Productions have moved out of LA.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like we don't really know.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're in kind of the upside down, if I can use a Stranger Things reference.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're like a bit in the upside down.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like all of the communities are still very much like they exist, they're there to support each other.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: There was the fires a couple years back.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if they your listeners know about the huge fires in LA.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, definitely.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was all over the knees.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: We were on the receiving, we were our son lost his school because he was going to Malibu for for school and lost his school in the fire.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I'm sure Rebecca and uh Molly will talk about it.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that like kind of disrupted everything.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: But the big takeaway was a lot of communities came together to support each other.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, so many people lost their homes.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: We were lucky that we didn't.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of Tapanga people did, but so it just felt like, I mean, I don't know if it's aging, like being here 23 years, but you feel like the rips in the fabric of Los Angeles more.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: But also there's a lot more hope, you know.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think definitely you either come together or you people scatter, and I feel like there's a lot of coming together right now, and I have a lot of hope for the future of not just our industry, but Los Angeles.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: But it's been like, I don't know if it's just the evolution of my life, like yeah, going through the different chapters as you've done.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's talk about that more.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, your list of TV shows for me is very impressive considering Aussies as you're growing up.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: We there's a TV show, Home and Away, or neighbours, Margot Robbie was on it, Heath Ledger was on Home and Away.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's a handful of Australians, and it's kind of like if you want to make it big, you have to move to LA, you have to go to Hollywood.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Jacob Alordy, he's obviously done a lot of cool stuff.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: But your list of TV shows for you being here that long is like I said, it's impressive.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: So The Cinner, that was with Jessica Beale, You're on Mad Men, Snowfall, Justified, which was a huge thing, I think.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: That series alone.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then Home Before Dark, which you did two seasons.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, that's an Apple series, and I know that you shot that in Vancouver.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Out of all those series that I've just rattled off, is there any for you that were like a standout or kind of changed you in your acting?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, it's kind of fun.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell a couple stories, but Justified was definitely, I'm funny enough, re-watching it with my husband right now.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Just because he hadn't seen the first seasons, and so we started watching it and we're in it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: And first it brought like, I have so many dear, dear friends from that show that like wrap my wedding, like uh Joelle Carter, who played Ava Crowder, she's like one of my best friends.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Jacob Pitts, who plays Tim Gutterson on the show, is another one of my best friends.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Lindsay Pulsifer, uh Alex Kyle.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just so many people from that show.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I there was an Australian guy.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: What was his name?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, uh he played Dewey Crowe.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: That guy.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, my uh just give me a second because my brain, he is so wonderful, and we just reconnected on Instagram.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I spacing right now?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Just give me a second.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it totally is.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: We will come back to that.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yes.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have to find his name because on this we will do it.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'll do a shout out to him because he is.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking about him the other day, and what a character actor.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like what a talent.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: I reached out to him because I saw that he was on Instagram, and I'm not really I'm not really on social media anymore.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: I pop on for like if I have something I have to promote.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um Damon Harriman.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Damon Harriman is his name, and he is an absolute dreamboat of an actor.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: I remember meeting him, and he said that this happened to him a lot, but he uh people didn't know it was him because he is so different from Dewey Crow.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Dewey Crow is this very like rednecked, rough and tumble, uh kid like down and out.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: He has like hit, you know, Hal Hitler, he's like tattoos all over his uh body and Plus his accent was next level.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Accent was insanely good.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because was that a southern one?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was like a s really strong Kentucky accent.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he, man, he's incredible.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I met him and he reminded me of like a very soft-spoken John Lennon.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like he would have these little spectacles and he was very quiet and calm, very calming energy.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And he said it happens to him like he would run into writers from Justified and they wouldn't recognize him out of care out of character.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I'll say like that show for me was like just an incredible show because it started off as a really small part that just kept growing and growing and became something much bigger than I think I had definitely I had anticipated, but I think that um writers as well.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: But also it was like an awesome character.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I love doing character work and so I got to really sink my teeth into like who is this woman?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was like I had an accent, like I moved differently.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: I talked in a higher register when I was like super, can we cuss on this?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: When I was super fucked up on drugs, I would like talk up a pie.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, can I cuss on this?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is so funny.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I tick the box every single time.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: We just don't say the C word because some people don't like the C word.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm a fan of it.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of do too.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: But as I've gotten older, because you know the C word being in my family, Catholicism.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes We can unpack that.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: But no, I'm like, I think I now am like cursing more than ever because it's my way of rebelling against Catholicism.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like Emma can tell you, we used to go to church every Sunday.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: We she came to visit us in LA or in uh Nebraska, and we were a very devout Catholic family.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: And now all of us have left that church.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: I write about it a lot.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I curse like crazy.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's on Hulu.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Do you guys have Hulu?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I think so.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I need to check.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: We still did a lot of streaming services, but I'm sure that you can definitely go.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Walton Goggins, Tim Olifant.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's a fucking great show.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: I loved it.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: People are gonna be googling it.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: The guy who created the show, Graham Yost, is incredible.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: He uh wrote Speed and he's now wrote written Silo and Oh, we love Silo.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Silo and yes, he's did the Gary Oldman show that's on Apple right now, the Slow Horses or something.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's doing that.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: You've done a lot of cool TV stuff.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then Yeah, I really have.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: You've gone into I mean, you're in movies too.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So a movie that has just recently been doing the festival circuit is called California Scenario.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I know a couple of years ago you also did a movie called Jess Plus None, and you were the main character.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: You were Jess from the movie, though you've then gone down the writer's path.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I have.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like that has I feel like honestly, I feel like even dating back to when you were in Nebraska, I wonder if you and I ever did we ever talk about story together?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel like we were still talking about that.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: You wanted to not just say the words not just be an actress, but you were like, I definitely want to write.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that I want to do.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: So you're even talking about it back then.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I feel like I would love to know your perspective on me as an 18-year-old, if that's what you remember, because I sometimes I forget.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a great question.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: No one's ever done this.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I love you.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I would love to know.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then also my perspective of you, I would say.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, when I came there, you didn't seem 18.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think because I was 15, close to turning on 16, and I guess I was 17.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: But and then I know that you obviously turn 18 that year.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I just thought there's no way that you could not be an actress because you were so dramatic, you were enthusiastic about everything in life.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that wasn't just because you're an American.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Australians always to me, I and I know it's stereotypical, yeah, but you'd be like, Americans are always pumped.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're pumped for life.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: They could just be pumped about anything, even just going and getting a coffee.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you want a coffee?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get a coffee.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where that accent was, but that's how we think of Americans.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then to see you in Nebraska, it was like I've hit the jackpot because Molly and I obviously shared a room.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: We really got along.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And even though at the I mean, I keep Becky back then, but she's Rebecca now, she was four years younger and she seemed when you're that age, when you're a teenager, when she was 12, that seemed so young.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: But for our age difference, only a year and a bit, it seemed like not that much, if that makes sense.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then and I was so upset.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I remember you in going to prom and you had this big pink, like Cinderella dress, and I was like, just your personality.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: So everything about you was just extended, I guess.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was exaggerated, but in a very good way.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Man, you know what's so funny?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: When I moved here 23 years ago, I would go to these uh uh meetings for Nebraskans.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I has anybody here told you about this?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's called Nebraska Coast Connection.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you would do these meetings, and a friend of mine at the university was like, you gotta go to these meetings because it's a great way to meet like fellow Nebraskans that have been out there longer, and maybe you can they can help you get a job or help you, you know.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And this guy that ran it, who still runs it today, his name's Todd Nelson.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: I met him like my very first week here.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: He's very, very funny guy, but I just I just went back and revisited and spoke.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe a year and a half ago, I spoke at a Nebraska Coast Connection meeting as a writer.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like I came to speak because I had just sold something, and so people wanted to talk to me about that.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: And they were telling me about how I showed up at 23, 22, 23 years old and what I seemed like, like my energy.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: And they said, you just were so confident.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like you were almost like not arrogant, but just so self-assured in this way.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I honestly don't I didn't feel that about myself internally.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just so fun when you hear people, you know, tell you what their perspective was.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: They were like, Yeah, you were just like, you had such a confidence, an air of confidence.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I was fucking terrified.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And like, I think I was very like, if you work hard enough, that's a very Miller, like Kevin Miller thing.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: If like if you which is my dad, which Emma I'm sure we'll be talking about over the next my sisters, but like if you work hard enough, anything is possible.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny because I've just said, I'm kind of all over the place, but I've just said recently, because of the state of the business and this kind of fallout between AI technology, strikes, everything leaving LA, or a lot of things leaving LA, where it almost feels like you're back to being like I'm a 23-year-old kid again, brand new to LA.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Those qualities that I'm possessed when I was 23 years old, you got to find those again.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: But as a 45-year-old woman who's like, okay, now how do I want to show up?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Knowing what I know, what I learned in the last 23 years, how do I want to show up differently?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I feel like it would be so difficult to be an actress.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like you would have to have such thick skin.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And even being a writer too, where you're like, Oh yeah, I've been here for 23 years.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I don't have to prove myself anymore.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: But then you kind of do because there's always those new up and coming younger actresses that are coming in, they're getting parts, and you're like, hang on, why did she get it?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I've been working my ass off.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like easier because to go back to like the justified, I have always wanted to be a character actor.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: And like when I signed with my manager, who is my angel in Los Angeles, Marcia McManus, when I signed with her, she's like, it's a marathon with you, it's not a sprint.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna talk about Billie Eilish later.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: But like Billie Eilish, I mean it was like fucking crazy, like oceanize, boom, and her and Phineas were like, yeah, SoundCloud, thousands and thousands.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it just was that thing.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that she hasn't worked hard.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: She's definitely worked hard.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell you a funny story about um Bill Pullman.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I worked with him on The Center.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: He was one of the leads.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: I remember sitting with him, shooting, getting ready to shoot a scene.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: He's a really cool human, and him asking me, like, what was your tri trajectory?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, you know, I started off doing extra work.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Then I went and I did co-stars, which is like one line, and then I did guest stars, and then I did recurrents, which is where you keep coming back to a show, and then I did now I'm here.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, What about you?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, Well, I did a a play, and Mel Brooks came to see my play, and he cast me in space balls, and that was it.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And you know space balls.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like for some people, it it's pretty fast.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then for others, it's like this.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: But and that's been my journey.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like it's such a Miller way.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, you just keep working.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I think I came to LA knowing I would have to work really hard.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: But my feeling about you when I met you was kind of similar to me, where I was, she's so funny.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Her energy is so infectious.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like when she walks into a room, people all looked at you.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: They were like, Emma, whatever Emma had to say, people wanted to listen.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Not just because of your accent.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because you were funny.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: You were like such a bright light to our school.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful, like inside and out.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's nice.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember singing so much with you.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to be able to do that.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: We used to sing.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like so proud of you.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I really am.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny that you should say that.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: People that have known me for such a long time, there is that section of my life in early 20s where I've talked about it.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's why this podcast is named.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: She said it out loud, because of my whole 15 years of being a nasty bitch.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And people that have known me for such a long time, I don't know where that person is.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Kamali was the other day, she's like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: When I came to America, that wasn't part of my personality.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'd gone from being severely bullied in high school for grades eight, nine, and ten.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then knowing that I was got accepted into the exchange program, I knew that I was like, I'm going to a whole new place.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: No one knows me as this geeky, hunchback, skinny girl that was bullied.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna be different.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was still me, but I was I just could be me.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: There was no, there was none of these slight because obviously people in Geralton knew my personality, they knew my background, they knew that I was always this square, so to speak, and always this goody two shoes.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like I went going to America going, right, I can be a badass.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's not in me to be a badass.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm just gonna be me.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's funny that you should say that.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what changed.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was a skill of survival where when I came back to Australia, it was it was really tricky.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I haven't really spoken about this too much.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my mum had said to me, it was so hard when you came back because you're a different person.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not it's not until now that I'm a mum of teenage girls that were at this similar age, where I'm like, oh man, I feel sorry for my mum.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: At the time I was annoyed at her.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Where I was like, oh mum, I just had the best year of my life.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I asked her, could I stay?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can I just stay with the Millers until I graduate?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want to do this whole graduation thing.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be a senior.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And my mum was like, no, this is like a year-long thing, come back.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's not until now, as I've gotten older and like I said, become a mum.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh man, that would have been so difficult as a parent.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Thinking about you, because I ended up doing kind of a thing, you, I wonder if subconsciously or even at that time, I was able to recognize that you were the person I was maybe that was an influence and an inspiration.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like there was this moment when I went to London to study abroad when I was in college, where I felt like I'm like, you are not showing up as who you want to show up as.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was so afraid of what people thought of me in the university and so like afraid of upsetting just the status quo of not just with myself as an actor, but in my family, how I show was showing up in partnerships, how I was showing up with my friends.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: At that point, I was like, you're not a very good actor.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're not listening.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't like present in scenes when I was doing, I was getting the leads in these plays at the university.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: So to go from a town of 800 to a town of like 200,000 and to be cast as the lead is a big fucking deal.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I also was like, but you're not good enough in the back of my head, and I believed it.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't me like beating myself up, it was me saying, if you're gonna do this, Abby, if you're gonna commit to a career, you need to believe with every ounce of your being that you deserve to be there.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have to do that.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Before you go to New York or LA, and I found out about this program in London, and I wonder if on a subconscious level, it was because I'd seen you do this with Australia, you know, leaving your country and coming to this small little town in Nebraska.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: What you just said then was really powerful because there's probably people out there that are confident so.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Self-assured, so like I know what I want to do, I know what I want to be from such a young age.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't think anybody that truly knows you would ever think that you would think that.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you went to London, where you're like, I wasn't showing up, I wasn't present, and then I had this self-talk to myself.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Did I tell you?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I my parents were like, you can't go do this because we don't have the money to pay for you to go.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd gotten scholarships, but not enough for me to make it all the way there.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think I was like$3,000 short, which was a lot of money for my parents at that time.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: And they were like, What are you gonna do?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad told me no.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, You can't do it.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: And for the first time in my life, I said, I don't care what you say, I'm gonna go.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that would have been tricky to go up against Kevin.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know my dad.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so it was a big fucking deal that I did that.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad, I was terrified and he didn't speak to me.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: He barely spoke to me when I was in London.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like barely.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: We did not talk on the phone for those six months.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: But I became a I became a much better actor.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I got out of my head.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Abby, how do you want to show up?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: How do you?
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it reminds me of you when you're talking about how you you were like, I was this, I was a bullied kid for these years, and I was, you know, I had this hunt, whatever.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was the goody two shoes.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that's not who I saw.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the Emma that I met.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: The Emma, it's like almost like the Emma I met is who you are, you know?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: So like you got to like, sorry, you got to like be you and like I don't know.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it did change you forever, probably coming to Nebraska.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Just like our London changed me forever.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like I believe with every ounce of my bean, I would never have come to LA if I hadn't gone to London.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: I would have been like, because I needed to just like somebody to took for myself to shake myself up and say, no, I'm good enough.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like but I have to like get out of my under my parents, like out from behind.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't need to know no one.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: I need to go so some no go somewhere where nobody knows who I am.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: So that I can fully show up as me.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: And like it was awesome.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it was terrifying.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: And my boyfriend and I was I'd broken up with him, or he'd broken up with me, dumped me on my ass, and it was like devastating, you know, all the things.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: But I came home and I was different.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't until like the full circle moment was I got to audition for this amazing play, and it was a part I never thought.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: I they never would have cast me in this play before I went to London.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I come back to Nebraska and my hair is purple, and I'm like, you know, showing up differently.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: And they were like, This, she, you're the person.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it was an awesome play.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: It was like a great character.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: One but the fit my favorite character, one of my favorite characters still that I've ever played.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was this Neil Abute play called The Shape of Things.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And my parents came to see it.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And there's this moment at the end of the play where I'm giving this speech, and I say something like, There's no such thing as family.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I looked at my parents when I said that.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I said, There is only art.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Art which must be created no matter what the cost.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: And like my parents were fucking floored.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad afterwards, I'll never forget, he was like, I'm so glad you went to London because it made you a better actor.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: And after that, I graduated and I moved to LA.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I could walk into a room filled with people that looked a lot like me.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're right, this business is it is brutal.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was brutal back in 2003, and it's even harder now, I would guess.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: And now the only difference is you're not going into rooms anymore.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Everything's virtual, everything's over Zoom.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: I remember seeing all of these brunettes with big brown eyes and just being like, oh shit.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if I hadn't had that experience, I would have, I'm sure, I don't think I would have made it.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: That was like such a huge part.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: Just like you traveling the world eight times you've come here.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: If Kevin is listening to us, you know, I know.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably sorry for all the language, Dad.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: No, but but like in that time, it was one of those moments I feel like in your life where you're obviously pissed at him because he's told you this, but if he had never said no, and if you've never had guts to go, I'm going against my dad.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going against Kevin and I'm gonna do this.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like as if I don't serendipity, I don't think, is the right word for this.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think of it straight off the top of my head.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like something that had to happen to then make you who you are.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Quite a few people have asked me, random people that I don't even know, and I love the random people that send me messages because they don't know me.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess those people that listen to this podcast week after week are slowly starting to get to know me.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: And people are like, tell me more about this year in America.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: You talk about it often, but why?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: As an Australian, it's kind of like, why would you go when you haven't even graduated?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it was just I had a point to prove where I knew that I wanted to go.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was the youngest one out of 75 Australians in 1998 that got accepted.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was like the only 15-year-old, everybody was 17, 18, yeah, and had graduated.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Life is different now, it's not 1998, and I would strongly suggest to anybody graduate first, then go and do it.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's only because of your grades don't count.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: My grades still counted.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: I still had to work hard, and I guess with the school curriculum and being in such a small school, things were advanced and things were like science was like two years behind.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: If I hadn't have done that year in as an exchange student at that time in my life, at that age, I had to learn so much.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: I slept for two days, and the the second day I woke up and I honestly had this moment where what the fuck have I done?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like honestly, what have I done?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was like it all come crashing down on me.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, oh my god, I'm with this family for like an entire year.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: What happens if I don't like them?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: What happens if they're weird?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: What happens if I don't get along with any of them and I've got to sit here in this like random town and there was a blizzard when I arrived?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Was the waterbed at least heated?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this waterbed was like my home for like two days.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is I'm just now gonna live here for the entire entire year.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: These moments in your life where you get to have these opportunities, yes, it's something that has affected me, and you're right, it affected me in a whole other level where it made me a completely different person.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: But that's probably also hard for your mom to go back to your mom, like you're just changed.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: I remember coming home from London, I didn't know how to talk to my parents right away.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because it was just like so much had happened to my, to me.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: It felt so much internal.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, my hair was a little bit purple, but like that was nothing compared to like how different I felt on the inside.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: That was also hard for my parents because I was showing up differently.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: And they probably just know Babby before.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that just to your point, what you said earlier about saying no to my dad or saying I'm gonna do this thing, because I know it was hard for you to leave your parents too, and they didn't want you to come to Nebraska to come to the States.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's something that I wonder, I wanted to ask you.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it feeds me.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: When people say no to me, still to this day, I'm like, I dare you.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Just you wait, like, watch me.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that really started happening before I went to London with my dad.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And like when people say I'm not this enough or I'm not that enough, which happens a lot in this business, they just want to like put you in a box.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: I just think it's like it's a good thing it fuels you because it can kill so many people's like spirit.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, it was like no.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I still find that.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: I like find that I want it even more when people say I can't have it.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's how you and I are so similar.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's the ambition drive.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, when I mentioned I'd wanted to do a podcast for ages.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I'm so busy, I've got these jobs, I've got this business, like I've got teenage girls, I've got a husband, I got a rabbit.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: I got a lot of stuff.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: The thing that was holding me back was the editing and was the tech.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I hate tech, and anybody that knows me knows, like, I'm like, Chat GPT is pretty much my level of skill.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, you know what, I'm just gonna pay somebody to teach me how to do these things.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to bite the bullet, and this is how I'm gonna get this done.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what I did.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then there was a couple of naysayers at the start were like, Why do you want to do that for?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's got a podcast.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, this one's gonna be different.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this one's gonna be real life stories from real life women, and they don't have to have a business.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get all the different age groups and from people from around the world.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: There'll be somebody out there listening that'll go to that'll be listening to your story, going, that's me.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: I get fueled by people going, yeah, you can't do that.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, I'll show them.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, totally.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's me for this.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's you.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is you.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: And your podcast is fucking amazing.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it's true that like people, how many times you have you been told no?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, how many people are gonna say no to you?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like in the world of being a creative person, which you are, we both this not just in our business, but in our life.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're creative, we think about creativity.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think about it all the time.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how many times do I get told no?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, daily.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, auditioning.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Jesus, the amount of times I've been told, sorry, you got this close, but sorry.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: You so you're right, you have to develop a thick skin.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: As a creative person who's creating, like you creating this content, creating a show.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm writing, it's it's a little bit harder because I feel more exposed.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're you're telling us about you.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm telling when I'm writing, I'm talking about stuff that is meaningful to me, stuff that matters, stuff that I've thought about since I was a child, you know, some things, and it's coming up through writing.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then you makes you very vulnerable.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I said, you feel exposed, but I'm also like, so what?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: People are gonna get told, guess what?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: Just that's par for the course.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: Entered you welcome to the industry of podcasting, and people tell you, but you're in it.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm drawn to really ambitious people, whether that's men or women.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: So anybody that's doing a bunch of different things, or even those that are in like higher roles, do you know what I mean?
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, my own husband is, you know, he's a financial advisor, but then he also does jujitsu and then also, you know, helps out at home and he and he's does loves cooking, and then that's busy.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, uh, he could just stick to one thing.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess it's the same with you.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same with my boss.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's in this really high role where he's like the CEO of community, where he has to, you know, he probably gets messages and emails and calls and people wanting and expecting from him to do all these things, but then he also does songwriting.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, that's so completely different.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's so completely different.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: But it's cool to see that creative side from somebody who you would look at him and you're like, he's this six foot-something giant that looks kind of badass, where you'd be like, What?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: He's songwriting, and then he's showing me a lot, quite a lot of his songs where I'm like, that's actually really good.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: If I attempted to songwrite, instantly I just go to rhyming.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: I guess that's the phonics teacher me.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, once upon a time, time, time.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: There was something, something done, done.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, literally, that's my level of songwriting.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: Where, yeah, I don't know, it's creatives and people that are in in my sphere, I'm drawn to and I want to be around.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm grateful for because I feel like you get you kind of get feel from them.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: You get a little bit from them, you get a little bit from your husband, a little bit from the people that surround you in your life.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: And those that are positive.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: And they show you that you can do it.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think like there was a moment where Chris will remind me when I was like pretty early in LA, and all of my friends, I mean, you can just like sit and struggle with your friends because nobody has any, you know, they're we're all trying to work our way up the ladder.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: And there was people that were entering my life that were working that were ahead of me, that were like, oh, they're series regulars on shows or guest stars or whatever.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember being like, I like being around those people because they give me something.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: They also show me that it's totally possible hanging out in their orbit.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then it becomes a little bit easier to believe that you could be one too, you know?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, I could be a series regular, I could be the lead of a movie, or I could make a show about, you know, because I'm hanging out with these showrunners, so why don't I just do that?
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: I could write a movie.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, whatever.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: I could write a piece of theater.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't done theater in 20 years.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna write this play because I feel like I have something to say, you know.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the great things about being in Los Angeles or in like New York is that you're you are around a lot of people that are doing it.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that also is like really rewarding.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so speaking of Chris, like you have a Chris husband, I have Chris husband.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we put it.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: People are like, wow, we got some Chris's happening.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your Chris is with a C, mine is with a K.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's a sound engineer and a mixer, and he's worked with some pretty incredible talented musicians.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're also a mum of two kids who are still quite young.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: How do you even juggle life?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're both like self-employed, we both work from home technically.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'll if I get a job shooting somewhere, then obviously I go.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: But now, since the strike, really since 2020, since COVID, it's most of my auditions are all from home.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: I put it on tape, or if I'm going in, I'm zooming usually.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: So it's all from home.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: And Chris works from home.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: He has a a mix room and he mixes music.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's kind of like whoever needs to work more that day.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: We just check in with each other, and it's like, okay, I'll go do the drop-off and pickups and that's handy.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's handy.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, look, we say this a lot, and I'm sure you probably have felt this way at times where you're like, wow, the amount of I had so much time before I had kids that was like wasted.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like so much, like I was just doing so many hangs with friends, and it's not that they weren't important, but like I think about now trying to write.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: I have so many ideas for things I want to write in my head at all times.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_01: I was somebody, like you said, like I had I I wanted to do more than just act.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I I've been thinking about story my whole life.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: Essentially, after 2021, 2022, when things were getting a little slower for our industry, I was like, well, I'm gonna start telling these stories because I just gotta get them out.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know you asked this question about like, well, how do we juggle our time?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: I have like three or four hours to write, and that's what I do.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so every day I write in between drop-offs and pickups.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: We both are very active with our kids.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: We talk all the time about how lucky our kids are that like they're both of their parents are around for dinner every night, pretty much.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we love being parents.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: We became parents later.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: Our kids are almost eight and almost six.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I mean, I was like a lead of a show having both of my children.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like in 2020, when I was when I had my daughter, and I was working.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was like very much a working mom.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then kind of the industry took a turn, and I've been working, but more from a behind the scenes writing standpoint as of late.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been awesome to watch my kids grow up and be there for them.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of I feel like that has worked perfectly for you while they're still young.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: While they're not too cool to have they're they're such loving kids, and I think it's they know love.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's a beautiful thing to show them love and they know it and they're all about kindness.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they're really like I was thinking about like examples um to me, like right now, modern day examples, and I think a lot of the people I look up to um are younger than me because they're like they're being raised differently.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I don't I have like examples that are older as well or my age, but like my kids are like great examples to me of how to be a human.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think I've been able to do that.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's important because that's a skill, especially I feel like I mean, I don't know what American the schooling system's like here, but you know, in Australia, as a teacher, if you'd if you're a primary school teacher in particular, and even from those early years, you're pretty much a mum.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're expected to do everything.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're expected to teach your kids kindness, respect, manners, how to treat other humans, how to deal with conflict, you know, mental health, resilience, all those things because parents are so busy.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: So your two kids, I know, will be grateful as they get older.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: They'll be like, we were so fortunate to have our parents working from home and in those early years where they you can spend that time.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, it's a that's incredible.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now they're getting ready to start like grades where they'll be in school more.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Look, we're rapid fire.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is something you would have heard me do rapid fire questions on episodes.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: And for you, my friend, I have picked out a few.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: So one that I'm just gonna straight say straight off the top of my head, because you do have a daughter.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah what's one thing that you hope for her for in the future?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like for her, I really hope that she just gets that she feels confidence.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like confidence, she has a lot of confidence right now.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: She's like a really confident kid.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that she feels that confidence and that love within herself, like that she loves herself for as long as humanly possible.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because I do think that as you know, like as we get older as like girls, it gets harder, I think, sometimes to keep that.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just hope that she can continue to believe in herself.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's really special.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I hope that she's a rad kid.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now I've got a rough idea what you're gonna say.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: But if I was to round up a bunch of your friends and be like, right, let's just pick three words.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we could be here all day, but let's just pick three to describe yourself, to describe Abby Miller.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: What do you reckon they're gonna say?
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think the first thing would be unrelenting.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because I yeah, I don't give up again.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: God, I would love to say that they would say funny, but I don't think I'm actually that funny.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think I have funnier friends.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Just like determined, unrelenting, determined, available.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like I really I really do try to be there for people.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm as I'm getting older, I'm like, I really want to show up and be available and also be open with how I'm feeling.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm struggling, I hope that I can show up for the people that I love.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope I can also let them in because it's hard.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a very isolating time.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like perimenopause is a very isolating time.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: That was more than three, but that's okay.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: I I agree with all of those as well, by the way.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now everyone knows I'm a Swifty.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you are around so many cool people, and even those that you're not around.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: Is there someone that's famous that you love that you're just obsessed with?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know the answer to this, but it's I right now I'm gonna say Billie Eilish.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was so obsessed with her.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: Is this because she's the original believer?
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like no, it's because I'm so late to the game.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was like two summers ago that I discovered her music.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: She's 25 now, almost 25 now, I think.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, she became famous at like 15.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: So she's been around for 10 years.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: I just did not know anything about her.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think part of it was I really love her voice.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think she's a beautiful singer-songwriter.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I love her and her brother's relationship.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and I love her parents, how they parent her.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: I am so obsessed with her that I don't know if I told you this, but I wrote a thriller, comedy thriller, with her as the lead.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it was called The Accidental Abduction of Billie Eilish.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like about a woman's kind of misery, like Stephen King's misery, where she accidentally abducts Billy, this woman in her 40s.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like me going down a really creepy rabbit hole, probably.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I cast, I had written her in it, I wrote Phineas in it, I wrote her mom, Maggie, into it, and her dad, Patrick.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: Her whole family was written into it.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it was super wacky in like a Quentin Tarantino or P.T.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anderson bonkers ending.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's like very bombastic.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was too much, too many characters.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: There was a whole like Peloton instructor that gets abducted to.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: It was crazy.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: This sounds crazy.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm I'm very obsessed with her.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I think she's the thing I think I love the most, and this is kind of go back to my daughter, is a confidence.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like she loves her music.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like she loves listening to her music.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: She loves writing music.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: She loves, and I just feel like I'm gonna speak for myself and I would love to hear your thoughts.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: But like my generation, it wasn't like cool to be that confident.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was almost like if you were too confident, then you were cocky.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you were like, too much self-assuredness was not a good thing for me as a child.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, don't, you know, okay, you're acting a little bit like too big for your britches or whatever they would say back in Nebraska.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like, but that's not this generation.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: This generation, like Kristen Stewart, she's another one who I'm like really, she's doing a bunch of filmmaking right now, and I'm just like so blown away by how just open she is and honest she is about what she likes and what she doesn't like.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I mean by what I want for my daughter.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: Is like I want her to be that fucking confident.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: I want her to feel like her opinions matter and who she is at the core of her is enough, especially as like whatever she decides to do with her life, if she decides to have a creative life and a life like if she wants to be an artist that she believes in herself.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: Man, you're so passionate.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at your face and I've got my I can feel my furrowed brow.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, sorry.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're totally fine.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you're right though, because that's exactly how it was for our generation.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean the the word that there's such a fine line where if you are confident, it's like, oh my god, who does she think she is?
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or like she's a bitch because she's so confident.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: You could be the nicest person on the planet, but if you're confident, it's like people will automatically kind of look at it like there is such a two thing, or you need to tone it down.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's it.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like tone it down, stop.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Little bit, little bit less, you know, or you're too much for people.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I get it.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, nobody wants that person that's shouting at the top of their lungs trying to be an attention seeker.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like those people that are just out there for the sake of being out there, and you're like, are they confident or are they just being a show-off?
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: You want to make also this like fake it till you make it energy.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, lastly, now you know a lot of women.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to do a shout-out.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: A shout-out to could be a couple of women.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: But somebody who has really, you know, inspired you, has made you the person that you are that supported you.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anybody that you could think of?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's like the women of my life.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: There's my sister Molly, there's you, there's my Aunt Kim, my mom, me, Rebecca.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's like the women that I've that I've grown up with that have surrounded me.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone's giving you a teaspoon of their goodness.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, my I'll say my manager too, Marcia McManus.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Man, she's a dreamboat of a human.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, shout out to all those ladies, to all the ladies in my life.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then almost almost also my friends, like Joan Lochner, who I love, and Lindsay and Alex and um Alexa Paladino, like all these amazing artists that show up.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I've had the best fun.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: We could honestly waffle on forever.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I love you.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's our sisterly, it's not a friendship, it's our sisterly relationship that we've had for the past 28 years.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate you, I adore you, and I'm so thankful for you for coming onto the podcast today.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure that everybody is definitely going to get some takeaways from this because you've been just sprouting out words of wisdom this like nearly close to an hour.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I appreciate you.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: I love ya.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to She Said It Out Loud.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you took something away from today's episode, I would love to hear from you.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: Go find me on Instagram at officially Emma Young.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_00: And hit follows to new episodes land straighten your feed.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time for more real and honest stories from legendary women.