Transcript

Spider Den · The Danger Zoo

0:03
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:08
Welcome to the department of anomalous and non human genetic
0:12
entities, reconnaissance and zoological cult operations.
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I am Coyote. You're game warden.
0:19
And today we have hazy baby birds back and night owl to you.
0:25
OK, Good Lord, that blew out my eardrums.
0:30
Hazy. Can you fill the gentleman in
0:32
about what happened so far? Probably not.
0:36
But. I know we were fighting some
0:40
zombies, some chick with some, you know, family deals gone
0:44
wrong. She's all mad and stuff.
0:46
She has to protect the property, all that stuff.
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We ended up jumping down this hole, I think by our own free
0:52
will, right? No.
0:56
That's the most accurate you have ever been, with the
0:59
exception of Thadi and I willfully came down here, Hazy
1:03
fell down here, we came down here.
1:05
After him, I swung down there. No, you went to swing around it
1:08
to pick me up and then you fell. I meant to do that.
1:11
I was falling in stop. OK, Thanks, Buzz.
1:16
The other thing that happened was, yeah, you know, Naidel
1:19
started working with us, thought he was here for a little bit and
1:22
then he came down and we threw some of the zombies down here.
1:27
We haven't seen them. We just got down here.
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Hazy is out on the web, if you could see that.
1:33
And his Climbers Keepers is stuck out there with him because
1:37
I fucked up when I sent him out there.
1:39
But just so you guys are aware, for any listeners that want the
1:44
unedited version of these, you have to go listen on Spotify or
1:48
Apple. YouTube makes us censor it,
1:50
otherwise it doesn't put it out. Discretion advised.
1:54
So continuing on with the story, as this is happening a dark
1:59
figure starts to come out of the shadows in here, but then all of
2:03
a sudden a vine is launched and it snatches Thoddy and he just
2:09
goes help. Me, I thought he's.
2:12
Thought he's dragged off to the dark.
2:15
Nah Dotty. Right.
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That's that's that's that's interesting mission start.
2:23
So now we're going to we're going to play the wheel of
2:25
fortune of who shows up next. Are you guys ready to spin the
2:27
wheel? See Sure.
2:31
Spin spin, spin, spin bin bin. Spin it all loaded.
2:36
Oh, interesting. And from the distance, you guys
2:42
hear a muffled night owl screaming for help.
2:46
Night owl, go ahead and give us that.
2:50
That's muffled enough, sure. And then the next thing that
2:55
comes out of the dark. We're just seeing what's
2:57
happening here. Perfect.
3:01
The next thing that come out of the dark is baby bird Jesus
3:10
Christ. Where am I?
3:13
Baby bird Jesus. I come running over to you and I
3:17
snatch you around the corner just to get away from whatever
3:19
grab thoughty. Hey, what are you doing?
3:23
What's what? Where have you been?
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I was lost. Why would you snatch me like
3:28
that? You know I'm afraid of the dark.
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Something just took naughty. Well, I didn't see it because
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it's dark. I know it's dark, baby bird.
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Go ahead and look at your sheet and then tell me about when you
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fell. What happened?
3:41
Do you Remember Me talking you through that?
3:44
Fell in a hole and I woke up covered in sticky shit.
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Oh I tasted it. It wasn't what I thought, so
3:53
whatever. What do you think it was that's
3:57
not cinnamon? But it was hanging in my mouth.
4:01
It was like I was hanging by a mouth thread.
4:08
All right. Continue, please.
4:11
So you need to brush your teeth. Do you remember when I threw up?
4:15
Yeah, you threw up when we first walked into the abandoned lodge.
4:19
OK, well, I don't remember that exploded in my face.
4:25
Maybe exploded in my mouth, I don't know.
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OK, OK, let's go to your stat sheet and it sounds like you
4:33
have a new power. Actually, this is your first
4:36
power that you've gotten. Well that was anti climatic.
4:41
I just pulled my pants back up. Something exploding in his
4:46
mouth. What more did you want?
4:50
My climax, that wasn't me. Blowing up sticky stuff out of
4:56
your mouth like it's a Tuesday night.
4:59
All right, all right, all right. Here we go.
5:01
Here we go. Here we go.
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That's what she. Said my new superpower is called
5:05
Puke and nuke vomit. Sticky supernatural webbing to
5:10
create explosive traps. That's sick.
5:14
Uses 2 active at a time, up to 4 total between long rests.
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Effect vomit A10 by 10. Sticky web trap on the surface
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right on trigger. Creatures entering or starting
5:27
their turn in the web must succeed a flat DC-10 check or
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become restrained. I like the way that sounds.
5:35
I'm definitely going to describe the way they're restrained when
5:38
it happens. This was a mistake.
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Detonation. At the start of the second
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round, the web explodes, dealing 1D8 damage to all creatures in a
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20 foot square area. Control Baby Bird may attempt a
5:51
flat DC concentration rule to prevent the explosion, allowing
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the web to remain purely restraining.
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Absolutely not. Yeah, all right, so you got a
6:03
puking nuke, but you don't know how you got it.
6:06
No. Well.
6:08
That's weird. That is weird.
6:10
That's suspicious. Guess we'll have to do an
6:12
investigation to find out. We're not.
6:16
One the answer is Diddy party. One more spin of the wheel.
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Oh, no, you guys here in the distance, in the shadows, little
6:29
tiny chitterings this is. Spiders.
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I don't like it. Sounds like thousands of
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spiders. Oh fuck me.
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On The Cave walls, out of sight, but baby bird, you hear them
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whispering. Daddy, Daddy is a safe.
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But you hear it thousands of times over.
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A bunch of little spiders just whispering to you, Daddy is a
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safe. You're the only one that can
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hear them. Everyone else just hears
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spiders. Why do you guys keep calling me
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daddy? Jesus Christ.
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Daddy, don't be like that. Is it safe to come down?
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But if you want me to call you daddy, I will.
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But I'm not calling you daddy. Just saying.
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Yeah, I take a step back from baby bird.
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I'm like, all right. He's freaking the fuck out.
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Why is my skin crawling? Don't do that.
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Look, look, you guys need to chill out, right?
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We need to get hazy. We need to get him over here
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safely. And then we're.
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Going to check out this entire cave.
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Oh yeah, don't mind me, I'm just chilling.
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If you all have something better to do then save me.
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Hazy, you need to climb over here, but I'm going to give you
7:38
a little bit of advice. It's the same advice my uncle
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always gave me. Go slow.
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Oh. Slower.
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Yes, Sir. Yes.
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What the fuck, Sir? Yes, Sir.
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Don't forget to spit. Get off the fucking webbing.
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Give me an athletics throw with some focus.
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Add tube to it. Oh, a Nat 20.
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So that's 24. Oh sweet Nat 20.
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So tell me how you magnificently get off of this web.
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You even get to grab your gear. Nice.
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So I'm going to grab my gear and kind of like bat hook that shit
8:17
to the side and just kind of swing in right next to you.
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Like I'm like a pill. Landing right next to this?
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Cool. Now you have your gear back with
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you. Cool.
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Nice. Spin the wheel one last time,
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let's see what happens. Oh, and as we're regrouped
8:39
together out of the shadows. No good.
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Comes night out. Well, huh.
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Oh, hero night out, where have you been?
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The fuck if I now stuck down here?
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Is that you and the shadows calling me Daddy?
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Who the fuck's calling you daddy?
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Did you go to the Diddy party too?
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What is happening here? Why?
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Why you're hearing someone call you daddy?
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Yes. Because it's definitely not me.
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I'll call you dumb ass if you want.
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Or Jackass. Or fuck face.
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Or dipshit. Or you greedy little long nose.
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Now, never mind, we're going to move on.
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Are there shackles anywhere I'm. Going to whisper under my
9:28
breath, Daddy, all right. Who the fuck said that?
9:34
What are we doing? I don't know, I'm fucking lost.
9:38
You got lost. Yet down here it's like a
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massive You see all these spider webs?
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I hate spiders. I twitch real hearts, but
9:45
spiders, Aren't they gross? Jesus Christ.
9:48
Jesus Christ. Yes, they are.
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That made me jump it was so loud on my headphones.
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Or does anybody have anything with a lot of fire that we could
9:57
just light this bitch up? I don't.
10:00
Think it's a good idea? We have flashlights.
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Oh, that's not, that's definitely not fire.
10:06
Are you are you trying to set the webbing on fire?
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Fuck yeah, I know. I feel I feel like don't don't
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set my house on fire. Why is this my house?
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Why the fuck did you say house? Yeah, you hear all the little
10:18
spiders whisper. Daddy don't let him set it on
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fire. Daddy, don't do it.
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Baby bird. Baby Bird's tweaking out over
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here. Do you have some explaining to
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do? You fucking spiders.
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I'm going to pull out my knife and kind of like go over here
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next to me and cut one of the threads off the side of the
10:38
wall. My mouth opens and I begin
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screeching. Oh God Almighty.
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What the fuck? Give me a luck roll, Hazy.
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Luck. It is luck.
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Be a lady tonight. Let's see.
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I have no luck. I'm pretty sure you stole it
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from me -1 let's go, All right. I stole it from you like I'm the
11:06
one that killed you. Huh.
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A fucking fuck a fucking 4. Let's go.
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OK, before you do that, an old lady appears.
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It's the same lady from before, and she stops you.
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She's like. Don't you be fucking cutting my
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house little. Fucker hot Mama.
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I'm going to Heisman that bitch in the face, be like, don't tell
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me what to do. She turns around the baby.
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Bird and she's like, hey sweetie, how you doing?
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Better. Yeah, so about that.
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I got pregnant and I had some babies.
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You're like 80, why do you have your teeth in?
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Take those dentures out. Jesus.
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Baby bird, did you fuck a spider lady?
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All right, all right. The jigs up.
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I guess I'm known as grandma spiders.
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If you're Native American, you may have heard of me.
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I tend to. That's racist.
12:05
I tend to. How is that racist?
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It's part of the culture you fuck head.
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Which ones? Just like all of them.
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That's racist. Just.
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Like all the. Universals.
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I think she's the Navajo one, but she's like.
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Yeah, I've lived here for a while.
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Ever since I got abandoned, I haven't been really watching the
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coffin, but I've just been kind of staying, staying out of the
12:34
way, laying low. She looks at you.
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She goes but you. You go on me some child support,
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we got some babies to take care of in here.
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I don't get paid for what I do. I'm going to go walk the other
12:45
direction to smoke a cigarette while they figure that out.
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I got enough baby Mama drama, so I'm I'm going to step over here.
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Wait, how are you lighting that cigarette?
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He's got a lighter. There's your fire right there.
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Damn you in your logic. I'm just saying.
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Wait a minute, she's still alive, but she's a spider woman.
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The spider babies are supposed to eat the spider mom.
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Nah, now my babies. I'd recommend if they did.
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Jesus Christ. Anyways, while this is
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happening, baby bird, you take one point of damage.
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No. What'd you do just because that
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UTI that you've been having? You're supposed to pee
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afterwards. Maybe you should start wrapping
13:36
your Dick. Those gums were worth it.
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Oh good Lord. Maybe you shouldn't have fucked
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the crazy spider lady. The crazier the better.
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Apparently not if you're losing damage.
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You think that's why he took health point?
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Someone's been reading my book. Jesus Christ.
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Why do my insides hurt? I don't know, the granny lady is
14:01
like looking around and she kind of looks off to the east.
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Looks like she might be looking behind Night Owl, not sure and
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she says. I'm going to let y'all get on
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your way. I'm going to go take care of my
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babies. Don't you let these fucking.
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Idiots mess my home up. Wipe your feet before you
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fucking. Come to my house.
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Yes, ma'am, as. Soon as she walks off she side
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eyes you baby bird and she side eyes you night owl and then as
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soon as she hits the shadows you can't see anything really but
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you notice as soon as she's in the darkness her body expands
14:35
and you just see a leg swinging and she just out.
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Nope, don't like it. Man y'all fuck that.
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Isn't that when I wasn't around? I didn't fuck shit.
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There bro. My man.
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I hope you spit on it first. Shit.
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I think she only slept with baby bird gentlemen.
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Yeah, unlike how she sat at me. Hands are ready to E for
15:00
everyone. Go go take that on with the AC
15:06
of 54. Nope.
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Jesus. She is old and wise and
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apparently good between the thighs.
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Baby bird. And she spins.
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Oh shit. You think that's why you're
15:20
throwing up explosive webbing? Maybe.
15:24
Probably. That's kind of neat.
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Not to mention the UTI. You got powerful fucking old
15:32
spider lady. Kind of like swing through here
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like spider man with my mouth. Web you.
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Can give it a shot. OK, I'm going to try it.
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Where are you swinging to? I'm going to I'm.
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Going to pull my phone out to record.
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I'm going to try and aim for the I guess the top of The Cave and
15:51
spin in a circle and try to land back with you guys.
15:55
Why don't you go on that black area right there?
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Give give me acrobatics at advantage because this place is
16:03
covered in the spider webs, so you're kind of an arachnid at
16:07
this point. Acrobatics, 3417.
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Nice. Go ahead and do it.
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Tell us what you do. I open my mouth.
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I aim and hear. It's so gross.
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And then I just as soon as I land, I take off and my arms and
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my legs just fly backwards and I look like a dead body sailing.
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Through the air, the worst spider man.
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It's just the worst spider man I've ever seen.
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And I'll land on my chest. As soon as you land, give me a
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look check. Oh shit, oh 16?
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OK, yeah, as you land, the explosion is up high above us.
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Oh shit. You hear a bunch of babies like.
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Dad, you wrestle too hard. My arm.
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My babies like, Jesus like, but none of the team mates are
17:07
injured. Don't, don't do that anymore.
17:10
What are we doing, gentlemen? They fucked up keys.
17:14
Look, we're looking for. I'm not trying to keep everyone
17:17
on track per SE, but maybe we should look for the coffin.
17:22
Yeah. Oh, let's do that.
17:24
I'll point to the madness. Good idea.
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Where did you say it was? I'm going to light this web next
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to me on fire. No, it's not a good idea, man.
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The Jesus Christ. Anarchy do it.
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Can I like the web on fire? No.
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I can't. You've really got thousand.
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I mean go for it, see if you can like the web on fire.
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No, the way you just said that makes me not want to do it.
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Pussy. And the grandma spider just
17:59
stopped you. This is baby bird's like home.
18:02
He's got babies up in the ceiling and you're.
18:04
Like fuck about either one of. Them is it cool?
18:06
If I let your highest on fire, I'm.
18:08
Going to light this fucking web off.
18:11
Fire with human bodies and spider heads.
18:14
That's so weird. OK.
18:17
I'm going to pull out my gun and shoot the nearest egg next to
18:20
me. All right, shoot that egg.
18:23
Let's do it. Well, it's not an egg.
18:25
It's it's what, what's that called when like the spiders
18:28
catch something and they wrap something up like for food?
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Oh. Just dead food, a meal, sweet I.
18:34
Don't think they're always dead. Oh, so they're probably alive.
18:37
But you can try it. So do I know that's what it is?
18:41
We don't want to shoot it if it's got actual people down
18:44
here. I mean, it looks like a big
18:46
version of it. We assume that's what it is.
18:48
That's what I assume. Assume what you want homie.
18:51
I play a lot of Diablo, I just kind of hate stone.
18:55
Yeah, we can tell. Hello soon.
19:00
I'm just going to sit down, y'all figure it out?
19:04
We'll do something. Baby bird, let's go over here.
19:07
I'm going to follow you, but I'm going to have my mouth open just
19:10
in Case, No? No, this is your home.
19:12
You go first. OK.
19:14
Anybody want to say where over here is?
19:17
Is you go east of me. You're going to go E how far you
19:21
want to go east. I don't know, I thought Baby
19:23
Bird was going first because this is his home.
19:26
Yeah, we're going to keep going. Yeah, go for it, baby bird.
19:28
You're going to keep going. We're going to keep going.
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I'm walking sideways very cautiously.
19:32
I'm right behind you all. Right, so you go E, I'm going to
19:37
follow. Why not?
19:38
I follow behind Night Owl. I'll follow too, because you
19:41
know, why not. No, no, no.
19:42
Don't leave me alone. Wait, wait.
19:44
You can stay here to smoke if you want.
19:46
No, no, no. Oh, you were on a smoke break
19:50
earlier too? Why don't you go ahead and roll
19:51
your health dice to see if you can get your health up?
19:53
You're still at A8. What did I roll?
19:57
Your your hit dice should be AD 6.
20:00
D61. Whoop, let's go ahead and put
20:05
you at a nine. I'm going to go ahead and smoke
20:07
a cigarette 2 before we head in here, so I'm going to roll D8
20:10
and six. Oh fuck I was at 2 HP.
20:15
Damn. Good Lord.
20:17
I know a couple of us were like really close to dying.
20:20
Yeah, I think thought he was really fucked up, but then he's
20:22
back up to like 14. I think at least you and him
20:25
were both bleeding too. I stopped my bleeding.
20:28
I stopped it before we went down here.
20:30
We head east and then we noticed there is an opening to the South
20:34
of us. Big Bird, go for it are.
20:37
You just standing behind him, just pushing him.
20:39
Yeah, just like in real life. Go, go, go.
20:45
All right. Is that what you're doing, baby
20:46
bird? Yeah, I'm good as he's pushing
20:49
me. Now shit.
20:53
All right we're going to enter a clearing here.
20:57
So baby bird, you had five 10/15/20 about 25 feet S right
21:04
from me, the night owl behind you.
21:06
I'm trucking behind him and Hazy's bringing up the rear here
21:09
and we now we now hit a point, a junction.
21:14
We can go West or we could go SE looking.
21:21
Baby bird. Southeast.
21:25
I say we Scooby-doo this bitch and split up.
21:28
Oh shit. No.
21:31
All right, Hazy, You, you and I want to go West.
21:33
Sure, let's do it. Fuck it, I'll go with baby bird.
21:37
I turned the night out with my mouth open and my eyes wide.
21:40
Oh. No.
21:46
Who's that all? Right, so baby bird, you guys go
21:49
fuck Tiff. You guys go 25 feet SE and it's
21:54
still The Cave keeps going down. You see some more of those
21:58
spider meal things up against the wall here.
22:01
You see a ledge going north and up elevation wise from you guys.
22:08
Hazy and I seem to walk into kind of a cavernous area where
22:12
there's another opening to the West.
22:14
It still keeps going southwest and there's a couple of those
22:18
meal things around here as well, as well as some stalagmites.
22:24
Got to be confused with stalactites.
22:27
Yeah. What's the difference?
22:29
Wow, yeah, ain't no gynecologist.
22:33
Thank God. Should we go north?
22:37
Or. Want to investigate I guess.
22:40
Yeah, let's go. Safety first.
22:44
What do you guys want to investigate?
22:46
The area. We're going north.
22:50
But you give me perception rules.
22:52
Is that what you want to do? Too hazy.
22:57
Sure, why not? So I'll do it too.
23:00
Yep. 12. Wisdom 14.
23:10
OK, night out. You noticed something to the
23:13
east of you in the the little wrapped up things that looks
23:17
like spider food or whatever. So do you want to investigate?
23:23
Sure. You go to investigate and you
23:26
see a zombie. Oh Jesus, very, very help.
23:31
I scream when the zombie pops out.
23:35
You go to look, the zombie hatchets its way out and it
23:41
takes a swing at you and you're going to be flat footed, so it's
23:43
going to be a + 2 to whatever it rolls here.
23:46
Oh fuck me. Oh, and that one?
23:48
This zombie swings at you and cuts its own leg off and hits
23:53
the ground. What a fucking idiot.
23:56
Yeah, guys. He said no, you fuck me.
24:03
All right, I also noticed some webbing stuff too.
24:07
I don't know, there's webbing in the north and there's webbing in
24:09
the South. I turn to Hazy and I say, hey
24:11
man, we should we should check these things out.
24:14
Do you want to cut one open? Let.
24:16
Me you told me to roll bro and I rolled the 15.
24:22
I know. Oh, now I'm asking if you want
24:24
to cut one of these things that we noticed some stuff is said.
24:27
Yes, Sir, I would definitely want to do that.
24:30
All right, You take the South one, I'll take the N 1 and we're
24:33
going to roll AD 20. See.
24:37
That sucks for me, what'd you get?
24:40
I already told you a 15. Wake up.
24:44
For your perception. For my perception, now you're
24:46
just changing shit up. Yeah, you, you rolled A-15 for
24:50
your perception, and then I told you to roll again.
24:52
Oh, I didn't knows it again. Wake up my.
24:55
Bad, all right? And it is a fucking 6.
25:01
Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me?
25:04
No, no I'm not. Hazy, You open this thing up and
25:09
the pale coffin is just sitting there in front of you.
25:12
You're welcome. You're pretty excited, but then
25:15
all of a sudden behind you, you just hear me going.
25:20
If you turn around to see a bunch of brood swarms of these
25:25
tiny little insects crawling all over me and I'm just trying to
25:27
smack at them and I'm panicking. I'm panicking.
25:31
But then I remember I have Lavatel Los Manos, so let's see
25:36
if I can set these fuck faces on fire.
25:39
I can. My hands light up and I just
25:41
start touching myself all over. Just like, do you really want to
25:45
hurt me? These fucking things off me?
25:49
And I just burn all these bugs off and I'm just sitting here.
25:54
All the bugs get creeped out. They're like, Nah, I'm good.
25:57
Baby bird, you take two points of damage.
26:00
Wow. Why'd that?
26:02
Hurt, what'd you do? Where'd you guys find?
26:09
Well, you guys have a zombie in front of you.
26:11
Oh, oh, you want to go over the radio?
26:14
Yeah, I'll be like, hey, where are we looking for a coffin?
26:19
Like a light 1. Yeah.
26:22
I go over the radio. Who's killing spiders?
26:27
They're fucked in spiders. They weren't exactly spiders.
26:32
They attacked me. That's not my fault.
26:34
And yes, we are looking for a coffin.
26:37
How did you find the coffin? I'll walk over to you.
26:40
I'm like, I'll be damned. You did find the coffin.
26:41
I'll. Be dipping damned well.
26:46
Baby bird, take care of the zombie with your spider web.
26:53
I. Realize you're gonna do sound
26:55
effects for it. Just are you?
26:57
Are you restraining him? Yeah.
27:01
You, you don't even have to roll a concentration.
27:02
He's got one leg. Yeah, his axe is on the ground.
27:06
You, you just and you stick this fucker to the ground.
27:08
He's not going anywhere. He's just like kind of crawling,
27:11
but the web like moves a little bit with him and then just
27:14
brings him back into the wall. He's bling bling.
27:18
OK. Well, that's taken care of.
27:24
Let's blow this joint. Yeah, let's go meet up back
27:27
then. I think you're the only person
27:29
to kill a zombie other than me. It's not dead, it's just trapped
27:32
right there. Are you trying to blow him up?
27:35
So I'm the only fucking person that's killed the zombie?
27:37
This bitch. Yeah, fuck it, I want to blow it
27:40
up, dude. Now.
27:43
Do you want Night Owl to get away from it first?
27:44
Ready to get the XP? Yeah, let me, let me get the.
27:47
Yeah, I thought, I thought we got already out of our way.
27:49
I was going to walk away with the explosion behind me.
27:52
Yeah, Moonwalk. Yeah, going over to Jay-Z.
27:55
Oh, OK, well, we hear things haven't moved at all.
27:58
All right, so you guys, you move a good ways away.
28:02
Night owls in a safe range? Go ahead and blow that bad boy.
28:09
Get wait. Gotta love the bad boys I guess.
28:12
Do I roll? Wait, shit, that's.
28:16
What? She said. 01 D 8, 4.
28:24
What? Oh yeah, it just blows up on him
28:28
and pieces them fall down. He's not dead, but he's a torso
28:32
and a head, and he's just going fucking nowhere.
28:38
All right, you guys make your way back to us.
28:41
So you head northwest, Come back down.
28:44
You guys are checking out the coffin.
28:45
Everyone go ahead and give me a perception roll here.
28:49
Cool. No, baby bird, you take 3 points
28:52
of damage. Jesus.
28:55
Christ, baby bird. Damn.
28:56
What the fuck? I got a 14.
29:00
I got A7. I got 17.
29:06
I got an 18, I'm looking at the coffin and I'm like there's 4
29:10
nail holes missing out of this thing.
29:13
How many nails did we get again? Hey, guess who's got two of
29:16
them? Think I got 1.
29:20
No, you don't have one. I don't.
29:22
OK, yeah, someone's definitely got two of them.
29:26
I'm going to flex and just go ahead and pull out one and shove
29:30
it in one of the holes. Why?
29:33
Why would you do that? Why?
29:36
Why would I do that? That seems like the right thing
29:37
to fucking do. Do it all right, shove it in
29:41
there. Give me a luck.
29:43
That's what she said. A what?
29:46
Shove it in there and give me a luck roll.
29:48
A luck. Shove it in there and give me a
29:50
luck roll, all right? Spit on it a little bit.
29:53
Let's. Hope we don't get the clap.
29:56
You didn't tell me to spit on it your time I got a 12.
30:00
That's good enough. It just slid in there and Jesus,
30:08
the coffin. The coffin pulses but it's more
30:12
like a shake, but nothing crazy happens.
30:14
It likes it. But we hear something down the
30:16
corridor shake the ground a little bit.
30:20
Shit. OK.
30:23
All right. What are we doing guys?
30:28
We should open it. I look at you guys, something
30:31
hurts and I take off all my clothes.
30:35
All right. All right, I'm going to need
30:38
y'all to wash him, and I'm going to grab the other Dale 1/2 and
30:41
shove it in one of the other empty holes.
30:44
OK, shove it. Shove it in that hole then.
30:48
Shove it in. That Do you guys see anything of
30:51
my naked buddy? No, not that hole.
30:53
I got whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey I got 18.
30:57
Oh yeah. You shove that one in, it just
30:59
slides in. You hear if if vibrates a little
31:06
bit more. And then the first noise we
31:09
heard was from the southwest. Now we hear a noise from the
31:13
northeast where you guys came from.
31:17
What the fuck? And I'm, I'm over here just
31:19
searching baby bird, just naked body.
31:21
I'm like a TSA agent. I'm like, cough.
31:25
Oh, that would be a doctor and a TSA agent.
31:28
I'm going to the wrong airports I guess.
31:30
Jesus. All right, well, I'm going to
31:33
back up and be like, well, that that's all I got guys.
31:36
I'm going to step back and smoke a cigarette.
31:38
Gates more each HP. All right, baby bird, you take 4
31:42
points of damage. What the fuck are you doing?
31:47
Shit, you're down to 10, man. Maybe you should wrap it.
31:51
Jesus, I there's nothing on him. I can't find any.
31:54
Like there's nothing wrong besides the obvious.
31:56
There's nothing wrong with him. What?
31:58
The fact he's a Jew. No.
32:02
My shekels are missing. That's what's going on.
32:04
You're. Lucky shekels.
32:06
He's losing points for health for every shackle he lost.
32:09
Oh my gosh. There's a hole in my pocket.
32:13
Can I use my spectral graph, you know, grasp to grab his foreskin
32:19
and bring it back? What the fuck?
32:23
That might help. You do it.
32:27
Go ahead. Do it.
32:28
Let's fucking do it. What do I roll for that?
32:32
Grabbing extraterrestrial foreskin.
32:35
Right, Let's go. Yeah.
32:38
What do I roll? D20.
32:44
I'm trying. I'm trying to.
32:45
Figure this out, I'm ready to go.
32:47
I've never played AD and D where we had to do this.
32:51
Let's let's get so you're going to use your +5 and then we're
32:56
going to it's, it's going to be an intelligence role, faith and
32:58
ritual to see if you can bring it back for him.
33:01
Bring it back in, sports skin. Intelligence.
33:05
Where's my intelligence? Oh, plus one.
33:08
Nice. So plus 4 + 1.
33:11
Should be 5 S, 5 and 1 plus. Whatever, that's a dirty 21.
33:19
You reach into the astral plane, God damn it, and baby bird is
33:25
just like oh and there's just the shining light and it just
33:29
turtlenecks comes over him and baby bird is once again whole.
33:36
Is this by Moses? Oh no, that's SH magma.
33:41
That's SH Magma A. Little bit of ligma.
33:45
Somewhere rabbis hungry now. Oh.
33:49
No, Jesus. Baby bird, you take another five
33:52
points of damage. Oh, you're down.
33:55
Before your skin didn't help. Not bad.
33:58
Baby birds die. I tried to.
34:00
I tried to help. All right, all right, fuck this.
34:03
I pull out some white sage and I light it up and then I hand the
34:06
excess sage to I hand 1 to Hazy and I go to hand one to Night
34:11
Owl. No thanks.
34:13
Thank thank you for trusting me. Hazy starts going around Baby
34:20
Bird with his the white sage I have and you said no thanks,
34:24
Night owl. Yeah, I'm allergic to that shit.
34:30
Oh. And burning it, bringing back my
34:33
fucking asthma. I'm bad.
34:35
Baby bird. I got my ass more.
34:38
I started hitting baby bird with the the white sage.
34:42
Quit hurting my new foreskin, right?
34:44
Now give me a luck check real quick.
34:47
He's guarding his foreskin like gold.
34:50
Can't believe you guys incapacitated a zombie so fast.
34:53
What a zombie. Well, technically.
34:55
Technically, he did it to himself.
34:57
I thought we were just playing with Dicks at this point.
34:59
We are basically. Pretty much we.
35:04
Weren't supposed to find the coffin this fast?
35:06
I got 17. OK, yeah, you, you take a step
35:12
back. We're coughing a little bit from
35:14
the white sage when you go over here away from us a little bit.
35:19
OK. Hey, baby bird, a little bit.
35:21
All right? Baby bird.
35:22
You should be OK, man. What the fuck?
35:25
I take one point of damage. Oh, my side.
35:29
Must be all baby birds. Children over here killing
35:32
everybody. Oh God.
35:34
Oh, I'm fucking down to seven. What the fuck?
35:37
See, the key is to get naked. I'm not kidding, naked.
35:40
Is it your sciatic? I'm going to go over there and
35:43
chop. Probably is my static nerve.
35:45
Chop your shoulder, which is nowhere near your sciatic.
35:48
Eat the sage. Give me a medicine check.
35:52
I'll eat. You know what?
35:53
I'm going to eat the sage. I'm going to roll.
35:54
I'm going to roll AD 12. Let's see what the sage does for
35:58
me. Shut the front door.
36:03
So that's 13 13 + 7 I'm I'm back up to 20 points of health from
36:12
eating white sage. That's not how that's supposed
36:14
to work. No, no it's not.
36:18
Desperate times, Desperate times.
36:20
I knew it. Oh, I feel like shit.
36:24
OK, all right. I'm a little better.
36:27
But that white sage is really burning.
36:29
I wish. I wish I had.
36:30
Some wait, did you eat it while I was on fire?
36:32
Yeah, how else was I supposed to eat it?
36:34
Dry Jackass? That's disgusting.
36:37
Luckily I don't take fire damage.
36:40
Come have a big tough boy. But.
36:42
Then you take fire damage. All right, so that's 2 nails.
36:49
Maybe it's whatever in the coffin hurting us.
36:52
I mean. Just let it loose, get rid of
36:55
it, let it go. Well, it seems like I've already
36:57
done half the work, fellas. I'll put two of them nails in
37:00
there. Our job is to get the fucking
37:02
coffin we need to. We got to take it the fuck out
37:05
of here. Ow yeah, they're coffin.
37:08
It's easier if you split it up, it's already halfway off.
37:10
It's not halfway off. They'll put nails in it.
37:12
We don't want it off, we want it on, right?
37:16
Oh. Yeah, we got to take it out of
37:17
here. Oh, yeah.
37:19
You weren't a part of the original crew.
37:21
I forgot. We've been hired to take this
37:22
coffin back up to kind of around West Virginia.
37:26
The guy died and his family requested us come get this.
37:30
It's got that white thing in it. Why did your mercenary group get
37:36
hired to come get this? What were you supposed to do
37:38
with it? Night Ow to.
37:39
Grab the coffin, didn't say anything about inside of it.
37:44
Well, yeah, no, we're just taking it with us.
37:45
What? What were you supposed to do
37:46
with the coffin when you got it? I don't know.
37:49
I don't. Know like sell it.
37:52
I was just hired to grab the coffin.
37:54
Pawn shop. And sell it.
37:55
Yeah, they give me money and I do things.
37:58
Little man on the totem pole, nobody tells me nothing.
38:01
Exactly, I was here to grab the thing and bring it back.
38:04
OK, respect. All right, who's got the best
38:08
strength here to pick this bad boy up?
38:09
I got 1. Strength.
38:10
I got negative something. I got it.
38:13
We can use my wedding. Oh, I have two strength.
38:16
That's crazy, all right? OK, night out, go ahead and give
38:20
me a strength roll to pick this up.
38:22
Wait, what? What is your strength at?
38:24
10. I'm stronger than you so I'm a
38:28
2. If I could help you.
38:30
What are you, baby bird? 3.
38:32
Ah, motherfucker. No, fuck that baby bird, Hazy.
38:36
You pick it up, night out, you just hang out with me.
38:38
All right, you 2 give me some strength rolls. 6. 13 Jesus.
38:45
Christ. Wait plus OK plus my strength 9.
38:50
I got 13. You got you guys go.
38:52
I mean, I I rolled when I was going to do it, but.
38:56
It's fine, don't worry about. It but it's OK, It's OK.
38:59
Go ahead, tell me, what did you roll night out?
39:02
16 well. Fine.
39:05
Let me do some quick math. Yeah.
39:08
So the two, we'll say 3 of you, the three of you go to try to
39:11
lift this up and you both just hurt and it does not budget.
39:18
I think I shit myself. Can I use my strong hand?
39:22
It's my strong hand. Is it from another world?
39:27
Can my strong hand add power? I don't think that's how that
39:32
works. No.
39:35
Might be easier if you just open it.
39:37
We're trying to close it. I feel like we need to keep it
39:40
closed. You don't want to open a coffin.
39:43
Damn it, fuck, I took two points of damage.
39:48
My belly button hurts. It's.
39:50
Like someone's touching it. Stop.
39:53
I hate that. It's a regular weekend of the
39:54
family retreat, yeah. Quit fucking the roadies man.
39:57
It's not my belly button they're going after anyways anyways.
40:06
As we're sitting there discussing this like a bunch of
40:09
idiots trying to figure out what we're doing with this coffin, we
40:12
guys feel a magic pulse from behind us and it feels very
40:17
familiar to something we've seen before.
40:20
God damn is it Puff Daddy? Because then it's.
40:22
Not Puff Daddy. It's it's Puck Wedgie.
40:24
Oh. Shit.
40:27
Puck Wedgie pops up. What the fuck is that?
40:30
Hello. The fuck I don't like that.
40:36
I just look at Night Owl and I'm like this guy, like awakened
40:39
superpowers in this kind of he was in our fault.
40:42
He broke out. What do you want?
40:44
Puck Wedgie? You're trying to move the
40:48
coffin. Clearly we're trying to move the
40:51
coffin. No shit, Sherlock.
40:54
Don't you stupid Snoop anything? The nails had to be returned,
41:01
otherwise you're going nowhere. That's actually very helpful.
41:12
Oh, so you mean I've already done half the fucking work like
41:14
I said. Well, how many nails do we need?
41:18
4. Well it was missing 4.
41:22
We put 2IN so. We got to find two more.
41:25
That slid in really nicely, by the way.
41:30
Nice. It's because they were loose.
41:33
Puck Wedgie looks at us and he goes.
41:35
That's a good group you have. You sure nobody is out of place?
41:44
And it disappears. The fuck is that supposed to
41:47
mean, little gremlin bitch? Yeah, I was.
41:49
I was about to shoot my web at that dude.
41:51
I hate that guy. Yeah, I'm.
41:52
Going to pull my gun out and shoot baby bird in the face.
41:56
What the fuck? You want that escalator.
41:59
Fucker. Do that.
42:00
No, I'm just playing. I'm just playing.
42:03
What? Where are we going to get two
42:04
more fucking nails? Baby bird, you take one point of
42:07
damage down to 4. Oh, guys, I think I'm going to
42:12
die. We.
42:14
Got to get the fuck out of here. Night out.
42:15
What happened to the other fucking nail you had?
42:18
I had a nail. Yeah.
42:22
No. You did.
42:24
I was about to say, you're the only other one with the nail.
42:28
No, it must have fallen out then.
42:30
Oh shit. When I fell.
42:32
Can you retrace your steps to show us where the nail came?
42:36
From No. No.
42:41
All right. See what?
42:42
Happened was I hit my head real hard.
42:45
How about bank accounts set up? I got my checkings and my
42:47
savings. It's all right, Hazy's the same
42:49
way and he didn't even hit his head.
42:55
Hey, night out real quick. Make a luck.
42:57
Make a luck throw for me. Oh well, that's a 0.
43:02
So we what? D20?
43:04
A deep you had a Nat 20. No, I said AD 20.
43:07
Yeah, AD 20, sorry. Tiny little mind.
43:11
Over here for a second I was like God.
43:12
I don't want you got really pissed real quick.
43:14
What the fuck? No, but I got close 19.
43:17
All right, Yeah, cool. Fuck.
43:21
All right. What are we doing guys?
43:24
Oh, we got to look for the other two fucking nails.
43:27
Am I the only person that thinks like the map right now?
43:29
Looks like 2. Like dark snorks making out.
43:34
Not snorks. What's the one with the long
43:36
nose? Either dork.
43:39
Elephant. Is it?
43:41
No, not elephants. Baby bird Stork.
43:45
What? Well, I guess we got to keep
43:46
exploring all. Right.
43:49
Lead the way baby bird. This your house?
43:53
Yeah, yeah, we're going to go this way.
43:56
Which which is this way. That way I spin around real fast
43:59
and I stopped. I'm facing South, so we're going
44:01
South. South it is.
44:05
You lead the way. See how it's your house?
44:07
I'm not going to listen to y'all, by the way.
44:10
OK, I'm. Going to go, I'm going to go
44:13
northwest you're. Going to go northwest.
44:16
All right, I'll follow you. No, so I guess I'm with baby
44:20
bird again. Yep.
44:22
Are you guys head southwest and when you get down here you
44:29
notice there's kind of a cavernous area.
44:32
There's an area that goes SE and there's an area that's a little
44:37
ledge directly South of you that goes up a little bit.
44:40
And then southwest is, it looks like a little alcove, but you
44:44
can't be sure from this distance.
44:46
We're going southwest. We're going to check that out.
44:49
OK. Now why that happens?
44:53
Hazy and I go. Hazy leading the way it.
44:55
Goes northeast. We go up to this little ledge.
45:00
Can you see? Us from there, see.
45:02
We can't see you from. Here we're waving.
45:05
What else can you see? I went back.
45:07
Hazy use a. Perception check.
45:09
Perception. Damn.
45:15
I can't see shit. Yeah, we ain't from shit I can't
45:21
see. Shoot where this?
45:22
Got down. South perception would be a.
45:26
Oh, a fucking seven. OK, Yeah.
45:29
Hazy and I are just walking up. And we don't notice anything and
45:34
we run right into a zombie that takes a swing at us.
45:37
Oh, Jesus. Hazy, you were leading the way.
45:39
So you're going to get hit first.
45:40
But you're there. Wait, they're zombies?
45:45
That means they're ghosts. What ghosts wait?
45:48
What? What?
45:50
This zombie takes a. Swing at you and misses?
45:56
Fair enough. Do something hazy.
45:58
Oh. Baby bird, you take one.
45:59
You take one point of damage. Oh, you need to like fix.
46:03
One of that UTI man. Like drink some water, some
46:06
cranberry juice, something dude. Shit I don't have.
46:10
Any. All right.
46:12
Hazy roll for initiative real quick.
46:14
All right, well, you're going to.
46:17
Attack this guy. But we're first, really.
46:18
Do initiative. Fuck me am I going to type the
46:21
guy I. Got I rolled A2, you rolled A2.
46:25
Yeah. He gets a double.
46:27
Swing on me, let me see what you got.
46:30
He also. Got a 2?
46:34
That's fine, you get to take the.
46:37
First, swing at him because he swing at you and.
46:38
Then you go and then it'll reset.
46:40
All right. Sweet.
46:42
So. I guess I'm going to oh out my
46:47
God, I started. Blasting, yeah.
46:51
I'm right next to him, right? So I'm going to put it right
46:53
under his chin. Your point blank no.
46:57
Yeah, you're really close. Roll with.
46:59
Advantage. Oh fuck, don't like the fucks?
47:04
Did you get him? Holy fuck there's no.
47:07
Way, dude. There's no fucking way.
47:09
There's no fucking way. No, there's no fucking way.
47:12
I rolled that bitch twice and it rolled 2 both times.
47:16
So 6, it's a fucking six. You rolled A6.
47:21
Yeah. Oh, with your decks, OK, yeah,
47:24
you, you fire bang, you miss. Yeah, the same thing.
47:28
Classic. Hazy all.
47:30
Right. Loser.
47:32
I I don't know what's going on. I'm.
47:35
You know what, I don't want to hit hazy because it's a really
47:37
small area. I'm just going to push through.
47:39
I'm going to do a ramming. So that is going to be what do I
47:42
have? It's going to be an athletics
47:46
check for me. Give me one SEC.
47:48
This guy's over here shooting. Point blank with his.
47:50
Eyes closed. No, Jesus, I run and.
47:54
I hit hazy hazy and I hazy and I take like.
47:59
I push you right past the. Zombie Miss the zombie
48:02
completely and both of us fall fucking 10 feet and we both take
48:07
keeping it classy. You're about to die.
48:10
Oh, don't. Fucking say.
48:12
Oh. Come on bro, did you just kill
48:15
us? I take 4 points of damage, I'm
48:17
down. To 14 hazy you take 4 points of
48:21
damage, you're down to five but hey hey, we're out of combat and
48:26
there's no zombies here can I light a cigarette?
48:29
You're. Welcome.
48:29
Yeah, I'm going to light a cigarette.
48:30
Too. Go ahead and roll OK.
48:35
Oh, I got 4. Points back.
48:36
I'm back on top, baby. Oh, I got 5.
48:40
Nice. You're at 10:00.
48:42
Nice. Yeah, we're going to lay there
48:43
and. Just, you know, think about
48:45
what's going on right now. Fucking Hey baby, where do you
48:48
take 2? Points of damage you're done
48:50
with. Fucking one baby.
48:52
Remember, I try to heal yourself.
48:55
I. Smoke a cigarette.
48:58
All right, give me a hit dice. It's a 20.
49:07
You are healed. For zero points.
49:11
You don't smoke. It actually it actually hurts
49:15
you. Yeah, you're just like Snake you
49:17
got through the laser. Beams and you kept smoking
49:19
through your health window, snake.
49:24
Snake. You're about to die.
49:28
I'm on all fours. And I look back at Night Owl.
49:31
We're going this way. Do you look back at night Owl
49:35
and Night? Owl has actually gone back
49:37
towards the coffin. Night Owl left you there, Yeah.
49:41
No, no. No.
49:42
Where are you? Yeah, Nope, I'm out.
49:45
I'm going back this way, fuck it.
49:47
Hazy and I see Night Owl going back.
49:48
To the coffin. And we see baby bird way down
49:52
there. Night owl give me a perception
49:55
roll real quick. Perception.
49:58
Intelligente, OH. Intelligence.
50:02
See Bueno. Gringo.
50:09
Look here on the cover beaner. No Mama sway.
50:15
No, no. I got 19.
50:18
Yeah, 19. OK, you walked by and you saw
50:19
Hazy and I. Just fucked up smoking didn't
50:22
even bother you, just kept trucking.
50:25
Don't mind us. I look at Hazy and I'm like, why
50:28
is? He going back to the coffin,
50:30
anybody? I'm I'm looking at something to
50:34
help baby bird. Oh, OK, I I get up and I.
50:38
Head South to Baby Bird and I start looking at him.
50:41
I'm going to roll. Hey man, I'm going.
50:44
To roll Detect Magic on you. This swear to God if you see.
50:48
Anything pummeling my ass with it's flesh meaty cock I'm going
50:54
to be so upset. What the shit?
50:58
It's Christ. I so I use my faith.
51:02
And ritual and I'm checking out baby bird sense magic and your
51:07
health is being drained from something but you're safe right
51:11
now and. I don't know why.
51:12
Now you're safe. It's probably EULA.
51:19
You you think that woman's draining your.
51:21
Power. It's what women do.
51:24
They yeah, you're not wrong there.
51:27
They've Cougars them. Cougars get you, man.
51:30
That's fair. Hazy.
51:31
You take one point of damage. I don't know if I'd describe her
51:34
as a. Cougar.
51:35
I would. She's real old.
51:38
Why am I fucking losing? Your life, What the fuck?
51:42
Probably baby birds, children. Just slowly.
51:44
Sucking my life by everybody. My kids would never.
51:49
They. Have human bodies with spider
51:50
heads. They would never.
51:51
I'm going to do a medicine check on fucking baby bird while
51:54
we're. Here, give me a silver bullet,
51:57
boss. It is not time for oh, that
52:00
silver bullet. I thought you meant put you out
52:02
of your misery. You meant Oh no, you gotta plan
52:05
on doing that next time. What?
52:07
Fuck baby bird. Fuck baby bird.
52:10
I got silver bullets. What's up?
52:12
But no, he's fine. Oh, is he?
52:14
Is he? You're going to have to really
52:17
talk me into that. You know, the fact that he's
52:18
fine. My pants are already down, baby.
52:23
Bird roll your head dice again AD. 8 6.
52:30
All right. You get healed for six points of
52:32
damage, you're back up. You're at 7:00.
52:35
I don't know what happened, but I'm kind of disappointed you
52:39
didn't give me the silver bullet.
52:41
You'll be all right, He'd. Assumed the position.
52:45
Right now you've made it back to the coffin.
52:49
Yep, no, nothing over here, you have.
52:51
A fucking nail. We're missing 2 nails.
52:55
I'm. Telling you I lost it when I
52:57
fell. Down this fucking hole.
52:58
Oh shit, water go down the hole. So when you go deeper in the
53:02
hole. No talking about when I fell
53:04
down here. That's how I lost my watch with
53:06
Hazy's mom. Sorry, I'm gonna let her know
53:11
that, by the way. No, don't tell mom I said that.
53:16
Quit playing. Quit playing.
53:17
All right? What are we?
53:20
What's happening, guys? What are we doing?
53:21
Hey buddy, quit being a bitch. No, I stand back up.
53:24
OK. OK, good to go.
53:29
We're going South. We're going South all right,
53:32
baby. Bird, as you're here, your
53:34
children hold on. Whisper.
53:36
Let me see what they whisper to you.
53:40
Oh, they whisper in your ears. Dad, be careful with your
53:45
friends. And that's it.
53:49
I go. What Dad be?
53:51
Careful with your friends. Where are condoms?
53:54
Why? He's talking shit.
53:56
Why? Why?
53:59
You don't. Hear anything?
54:00
Why won't they respond? Because.
54:01
UTI. Man, because you abandoned.
54:03
Them I think you're a bad. Dad, they're gonna they're gonna
54:06
put some respect in your lame. I didn't even know I had kids
54:09
until just now. That's what they all say.
54:12
Fuck a deadbeat dad he went to go get.
54:16
The milk and never came back. What are you like 6 now?
54:19
Shit. Piece of shit.
54:23
Can I command my children? You can give it a shot.
54:27
Fuck yeah, Subliminal. Messages, children, come to me.
54:33
Help me OK roll. For nature at.
54:36
Advantage Nature. Would subliminal be like
54:41
intelligence? Too subliminal.
54:44
We don't have subliminal. Let me be here.
54:48
There's a nature. OK, so so that's a 0.
54:51
I rolled A4, you got a four. Yeah, yeah, your kids.
54:56
Don't listen to you, they attack.
54:58
You got some badass. Little trailer trash.
55:00
Kids, these fucking kids, they never listen.
55:05
You ain't my real daddy. Yeah, so why?
55:07
Should you listen to them? Jesus got 2 legs.
55:11
The disrespect. All right, What are we doing,
55:14
gentlemen? We're going to head South.
55:18
Since my. Kids don't want to listen to me.
55:21
Yeah, I'm not heading South. I'm.
55:22
Going to go back up. Northeast, I'm going to head
55:25
South with a nipple jockey. Yeah, I'll fit for my I'll.
55:29
Fit for myself and go to the only thing not looked at.
55:34
Oh, you're heading up? Up north, Yeah, while I smoke a
55:38
cigarette. All right, give me, give me a
55:41
roll. When you say north, where are
55:43
you going North to the only? Cliff face going up?
55:49
Are you going back up to the zombie?
55:50
You want Round 2? I don't give a fuck about that
55:53
One legged no no. No, not to the West.
55:55
To the east. Oh, straight.
55:57
Oh, you go. Oh, you're.
55:58
Going to that one, the limbless zombie.
56:00
So you go northeast? Back to where?
56:02
Like the first. Entrance and then you're going
56:03
up the ledge. All right, go ahead and give me
56:05
your health role and let me clear this out for baby bird
56:10
night. Baby bird.
56:10
Where are we going over here? Well, he does that Southwest.
56:17
Got a 2. For the health.
56:20
OK, you're back up to two. I mean, that's pretty.
56:22
That's pretty good. You got a Yeah, You got a 11.
56:26
Good job. Good for you.
56:29
I pat myself. I pat myself on.
56:30
The back Good boy, good for me. I know where are you going?
56:33
I'm. Going to search around here and
56:35
see if I can find anything. All right, you stay right there.
56:38
Little egg sex or whatever the. Hell, they are, you said.
56:43
What? Southwest.
56:44
Big Bird up on the ledge. Yeah.
56:47
Big Bird, give me a. Perception roll.
56:50
OK. Come.
56:53
Come on and look 6. 6 All right, you don't.
56:57
Notice anything but all of a sudden white thing is in front
57:00
of you, just pops up and it gives the whole white thing
57:03
noise. Hold on, what?
57:06
The. scream, and then I. Involuntarily shoot my wind.
57:22
He met. He met prematurely.
57:24
Shot his wind. It's like mew.
57:35
The the white thing just makes that.
57:37
Fucking weird crying noise it did before and it grabs baby
57:40
bird and it throws you off the Cliff.
57:43
Jesus bro, he just. Heated your ass all.
57:46
Right, got. Gone all right.
57:50
And you land taking. How much damage do you take?
57:55
Hey, you take two points back down to five.
57:59
I land like a superhero. If a superhero lands on its
58:02
back. Crying.
58:03
Yes, that's exactly how you landed.
58:06
Oh. Sorry.
58:07
OK, so the Deadpool landing. Awesome.
58:10
The the Deadpool landing and I'm face.
58:12
To face with the white thing and it just roars in my face.
58:16
And that's where we're going to end today's episode.
58:18
Gentlemen made it back to the white thing.
58:21
What thing? Well.
58:24
If you guys weren't fiddle fucking.
58:25
Around with baby birds fucking gone foreskin.
58:30
Hey, it's pretty cool, right? I got.
58:32
That foreskin. Back for him he should have.
58:34
You know, thanked me. Yeah, very happy every.
58:37
Everybody say goodbye. Bye bye.
58:44
Transmission lost team. Status unknown.