Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / how to set better boundaries for your mental health

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how to set better boundaries for your mental health · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

• 0:00
  Have you ever said yes to something you knew would drain
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  you simply because you didn't want to disappoint someone?
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  Or maybe you've agreed to help out a friend, take on extra
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  work, or attend an event when deep down you felt overwhelmed
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  and exhausted? If this sounds familiar, you are
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  not alone. The inability to say no is
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  something many of us struggle with, but remember you don't
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  have to be everything to everyone all the time.
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  Learning to set boundaries and protect your mental health is
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  one of the most important skills you can develop.
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  Today we're diving into the art of saying no and why it's
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  essential for your mental well-being.
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  My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
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  Feelings. Today we're talking about the
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  empowering 2 letter word no. We live in a world where people
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  pleasing and stretching yourself thin is often praised with
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  friends. It's socially established that
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  you're seen in a positive light as someone who's always there
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  for everyone at the workplace. If you stretch yourself thin,
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  you're a hard worker, but in reality you're burnt out,
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  stressed and struggling by over committing at the expenses of
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  your own well-being. Yes, it can feel nice to always
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  be included and never miss a moment of action, but in
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  reality, saying no is more than just setting a boundary, it's an
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  act of self-care and self respect.
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  So how can saying no change your life for the better?
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  First, let's address the root of the problem, why we struggle to
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  say no. Well, if we're being honest, a
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  lot of the struggle comes from societal pressure.
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  We avoid saying no because we are afraid of letting others
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  down. We fear being seen as selfish
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  and disappointing others who had expectations for us.
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  We're wired to seek approval from others, and saying no feels
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  like you're shutting the other person down and risking
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  disapproval. This fear is especially strong
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  if you grew up feeling responsible for other people's
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  happiness. Maybe your parents instilled
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  this feeling on you and you felt a pressure to make them happy.
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  Maybe it comes from insecurity. In early relationships, yourself
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  worth may be tied to how helpful you seem to others.
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  There's also often a sense of guilt and obligation that comes
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  with requests from others. The guilt kicks in when we
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  consider saying no because we think that we need to be there
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  for them. Maybe we've been there to help
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  them in the past or we think that we are their go to person.
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  Maybe the guilt or worry is that we're leaving them hanging and
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  not spending enough time with them, therefore becoming less
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  important to them. However, constantly giving into
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  this guilt can leave us feeling exhausted and overextended.
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  Doing something out of guilt takes away our free will and
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  instead forces us to conform into something we don't even
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  want to do. Because of these pressures and
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  worries, we often find ourselves saying yes too often.
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  Yes to Hangouts we're too drained to attend, yes to work
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  that we don't want to do. Yes to events that we don't want
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  to go to. We overload our schedules and
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  leave little room for ourselves and risk emotional burnout.
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  Taking on too many responsibilities or
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  disrespecting your own boundaries for the needs of
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  others can put you into survival mode.
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  With no energy to recharge or reflect on your own needs, we
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  risk losing sight of who we are and what we actually want.
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  If we're constantly trying to be everything for everyone, we lose
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  sight of how to be us for ourselves.
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  This may sound dramatic, but when you're constantly worried
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  about fulfilling other people's needs, there's no room for you
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  to fulfill your own. And over time, this can damage
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  our relationships and make us feel powerless over our own
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  lives. So how do we solve this problem
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  and start saying that simple 2 letter word?
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  No, you don't have to make drastic changes overnight.
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  As with many topics and mental health, you can start very
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  small. Start by saying no to smaller
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  requests or commitments and work your way up.
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  Be honest but respectful. Something as simple as I'd love
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  to help or hang out but I'm emotionally drained and need
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  some time for myself is a powerful way to assert
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  boundaries without shifting blame to the other person.
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  Reassure them that it's not their fault and that their
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  presence isn't a burden. You just need some time to
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  yourself. But also don't be afraid to just
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  say no without justification or over explanation.
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  A simple, clear, respectful response is often enough.
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  Boundaries are about protecting your well-being, not about
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  managing other people's feelings.
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  This is a line you will learn to walk over time.
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  We often feel like we need to micromanage how other people
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  will feel and in turn end up minimizing our own needs to fit
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  their agenda. Learning to say no is an act of
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  self-care, a way of preserving your mental health, and most
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  importantly, a way to stay true to yourself.
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  It's not about shutting people out, it's about making sure that
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  when you say yes, it's from a place of genuine willingness and
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  capacity, not out of fear or obligation.
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  Start small, be kind to yourself, and remember that your
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  mental health is worth protecting.
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  You deserve peace and boundaries.
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  You deserve to not be everything to everyone that's going to wrap
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  it up for today's episode. Thank you so much for being
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  here. If you need help feeling your
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  feelings, please check out my music on all platforms under the
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  name of Ethan Jewel. And I almost guarantee it could
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  make you cry. I just had a new single come out
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  and it's called Do you Want to Fall in Love?
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  And I think it's really great and you should check it out.
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  Also, please shoot me a message on my Instagram at Jewel Boy
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  with an I under score and let me know what you thought about
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  today's episode. So thank you so much for being
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  here. Thank you for understanding the
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  need to respect your own boundaries and put yourself 1st.
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  And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
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  I'll see you next time.