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October 18 – Willing to Learn · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:00
  I've got to start off with a confession today because I spent a good part of my life absolutely certain that I already knew enough to get by and not even just to get by, but to succeed.
• 0:15
  I was certain while I was drinking.
• 0:17
  I was certain during all the years when I didn't believe in much of anything, and oh my goodness, don't mention your higher power or God to me during that time.
• 0:26
  And for me, at that time, humility rarely came by invitation.
• 0:31
  Most of the time, it came through humiliation.
• 0:34
  You know, I wasn't asking or praying or anything like that for humility, but when I found myself at the lowest of the lows, then I was finally willing to listen.
• 0:45
  So today is about what changed once I started to listen.
• 0:53
  Welcome back, everybody, to the Daily Ripples podcast.
• 0:57
  I'm Pastor Mike, flying solo on this Sunday morning.
• 1:00
  Today is October the 18th, and the entry is titled Willing to Learn The Stone.
• 1:07
  A Teachable Heart opens the door to the life God desires for me.
• 1:12
  Ripple one practical.
• 1:15
  Today, I will resist the temptation to believe I already know enough.
• 1:19
  Pride closes doors that humility leaves open.
• 1:22
  When I remain teachable, I create room for growth, wisdom, and unexpected blessings. Ripple 2 spiritual.
• 1:29
  As I follow Christ with a willing heart, the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to truth so I could not see before.
• 1:35
  The father patiently shapes me through every lesson, reminding me that faith grows as I continue to trust and follow him, as always, our prayer will be reserved for the end of the episode.
• 1:47
  It starts with that stone and that stone, man, when I reread this one this morning, it really hit me like a ton of bricks, you know, it says a teachable heart opens the door for the for the life God desires for me.
• 2:00
  And that one was me all day, every day because when I finally learned how to be teachable and how to have my heart impacted by the words and the thoughts and the feelings of others, then, and I quieted my own talking my own mind, I was then able to see and experience the life that God indeed had in store for me.
• 2:28
  It was something that I couldn't learn, I couldn't see until I was ready until I was willing.
• 2:34
  Because there was a lot of times when, well, just to back up, whenever my drinking career started, way back when I was a freshman in college, I remember the very 1st time that I drank anything, it was drinking alcoholically, I had gone out and, you know, influenced by all my friends who were having a good time.
• 2:51
  I went out and I bought me a 5th of Jack Daniels and I took it back to the dorm room where you clearly were not supposed to have alcohol, but everyone did.
• 2:59
  And drank the whole thing in one night.
• 3:02
  I didn't have any negative consequences, no hangover, nothing like that.
• 3:06
  And so I started thinking, well, this is life.
• 3:10
  You know, this is this is how people have fun.
• 3:12
  This is how people enjoy things.
• 3:13
  And it was a relief for me at the time because I had grown up feeling like I was restricted all the time, restricted by rules and regulations of a God who just couldn't wait to send me to burn in hell, you know, for the least little thing that I did wrong.
• 3:28
  And, you know, I was taught that, you know, even some thoughts were sinful.
• 3:32
  And so my thinking as a child was, well, if my thoughts are sin and all sins are equal, then I might as well live it up.
• 3:38
  And that worked for a while.
• 3:40
  And then I started thinking as the more that I started drinking, sort of thinking that, well, do I, and I didn't have any negative consequences for a long time, then I started feeling like everything that I was taught growing up was just some kind of elaborate hoax to try to keep me in line and make me follow the rules that other people wanted me to live by.
• 4:00
  And so I operated that way for a long time.
• 4:03
  I was drinking.
• 4:03
  I wasn't believing in anything and I felt like whatever life threw my way, I could come up with the answers for it and I could navigate it on my own.
• 4:11
  But I had to reach the end of my own way of thinking my own answers before I could hear anybody else's perspective.
• 4:20
  In almost every case, any humility that I gained came after some type of a fall into humiliation.
• 4:29
  You know, back to the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous in chapter 5 on page 58.
• 4:36
  You know, it says that, you know, some of these we balked.
• 4:40
  We thought we could find an easier, softer way, but we could not.
• 4:42
  Then a few lines later said, some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideals, and the result was nil until we let go, absolutely.
• 4:49
  So believing that I already knew enough meant holding on to my old ideas.
• 4:54
  And then in Proverbs 11 and 2 tells us when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
• 5:00
  So there's an order in that verse. You know, the pride comes first.
• 5:04
  You know, I had lots of pride.
• 5:06
  I thought that I could get through everything on my own.
• 5:08
  And then comes disgrace.
• 5:09
  Well, there was the disgrace of having my rock bottom having a marriage that fell apart, having a separation, then a divorce, then all of those things that I've been through.
• 5:18
  And it says wisdom arrives with humility or with humility comes wisdom, the verse says.
• 5:26
  And then in Psalm 119, 71.
• 5:28
  It tells me that it was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.
• 5:33
  So in the new revised standard version, it says it even more plainly, it says it is good for me that I was humbled.
• 5:41
  Well, that's the whole humiliation to humility, road in a single line, you might say, you know, it's that progression.
• 5:50
  Pride came, then came disgrace, and that taught me humility.
• 5:54
  And through that humility.
• 5:55
  I grew in wisdom.
• 6:00
  But it tells me that today I'll resist the temptation to believe I already know enough, that pride closes doors, that humility leaves open, when I remain teachable, I create room for growth, wisdom, and unexpected blessings.
• 6:12
  And so resisting that temptation for me was all about active listening.
• 6:17
  And ironically enough, I had to learn that through probably corporate America and the trainings.
• 6:23
  You know, they, you know, if you work for a big corporation, you oftentimes they'll have HR trainings or different trainings that you have to do.
• 6:29
  They're trying to teach people how to be better coworkers, how to be more efficient, how to get along better.
• 6:34
  And one of the biggest things that they teach is about active listening.
• 6:37
  So, for me to learn how to actively listen, it meant that I 1st had to shut up and get out of my own way.
• 6:44
  But I had to look at consequences side by side because I 1st looked at the consequences of what happened when I refused to listen to others.
• 6:52
  And above all, when I refuse to listen to God.
• 6:54
  You know, in a work setting, when I refused to listen to others, I would have negative consequences.
• 6:58
  I would have tension.
• 6:59
  I would have disagreements.
• 7:00
  I would have periods where I was having to argue my case or debate what I thought and knew was the right way to go.
• 7:07
  What I've learned over time, of course, is that there are multiple ways to arrive at a single goal.
• 7:11
  But you couldn't have told me that back in the day.
• 7:13
  And I didn't have a lot of friends, as you can imagine.
• 7:17
  Nobody wanted to be around me because I was some, you know, stuck up egotistical know it all.
• 7:22
  But then when I started trying to actually put into practice that act of listening,
• 7:25
  Then I look at the consequences of that.
• 7:27
  Those results gave me the encouragement to keep going, and that habit of actively listening grew into a skill set so much to the point that today, one of the main things that people often tell me is how patient I am, how compassionate I am, how what a good listener I am.
• 7:43
  Even Corey, you know, when we've been recording these episodes, you know, he's pointed out a few times about that, that I'm a good active listener.
• 7:51
  And what I've learned is that that's what most people want.
• 7:54
  Most people want to be heard, and I have to give people that same space and ability to be heard that I wanted back when I was trying to push my will.
• 8:03
  And when I listen to other people, I gain new ideas, I gain new insights.
• 8:07
  I mean, even just in the course of doing this podcast, listening to Corey and his knowledge of the main recovery textbook and how all the connections that he makes to that into scripture into his life has been quite aspiring for me.
• 8:21
  But I wouldn't be in that place today if I had not learned how to listen.
• 8:25
  If I were only listening to Corey's points with the ear to try to argue them back, then this would be nothing but 2 bald headed bearded dudes, you know, who are somewhat anonymous coming on a podcast and arguing with each other for 15 minutes a day.
• 8:39
  Well, nobody would want to listen to that either.
• 8:41
  Back to the big book, you know, chapter chapter 5, page 62.
• 8:46
  talks about other people.
• 8:47
  You know, it says sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past, we have made decisions based on self, which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
• 8:57
  And when I went through the process of doing my resentments inventory, you know, the people places and things in those 1st 3 columns that the big book outlines in that chapter.
• 9:08
  And I turned it around and got to the place in the big book where it tells me now we looked at our own part, and it says resolutely, meaning with intention, meaning on purpose.
• 9:16
  And so what I found is that the consequences that I often blamed on other people usually trace back to a time when I wasn't listening.
• 9:25
  Proverbs 1215 tells us the way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
• 9:32
  Proverbs 1813 says, to answer before listening, that is folly and shame, and then taking it all the way to the New Testament, and James 119 writes, my dear brothers and sisters, take note of this.
• 9:44
  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
• 9:49
  And man, the times when anger pops up in me the most are those times when I feel like nobody is listening to me.
• 9:55
  So then how can I blame somebody else, if I'm not listening to them and they get mad about it.
• 9:59
  And the order of these verses matters.
• 10:02
  I have to listen 1st and then speak 2nd and then be slowest of all the things to become angry.
• 10:08
  Back to the spiritual ripple today, says as I follow Christ with a willing heart, the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to truths I could not see before.
• 10:16
  The Father patiently shapes me through every lesson, reminding me that faith grows as I continue to trust and follow him.
• 10:23
  And for me, opening my eyes is just the results that I've seen as I keep practicing that active listening.
• 10:30
  You know, listening to understand, has replaced for me anyway, listening to react, respond, condemn, judge, argue, debate, whatever kind of word you want to you want to put in there.
• 10:40
  And, you know, in the recovery rooms, we always hear about, you know, when agitated that we pause before acting or responding.
• 10:48
  And one of my favorites is that today I can give a response and not a reaction.
• 10:52
  My reaction does not have to be my response.
• 10:55
  And that's because I have to listen long enough and then sit with what someone has said long enough that I don't react in anger, that I keep that James 119, you know, verse in mind to be slow to become angry.
• 11:08
  And many times if I sit back and listen, and listen, not just to the words that people are telling me, but what are their eyes saying? What is their body saying?
• 11:16
  What is their life experiences?
• 11:18
  I know them is I come to know them and form relationships with other people.
• 11:21
  You see relationships with other people were not something that happened when I was the one who always had to speak, who always had to be right.
• 11:28
  I couldn't grow any kind of relationship.
• 11:31
  And it was the same with my relationship with God.
• 11:34
  I didn't have a strong relationship with God in those times when even at my rock bottom when I had started to pray again, I started to ask for things again, and I'm only yelling and shouting and screaming, you know, why God?
• 11:45
  I'm only talking at him, but I never took time to sit and listen.
• 11:49
  But when I did, that's when any level of humility or wisdom that I have today really started to take root and grow.
• 11:58
  And it was really the Holy Spirit working within me.
• 12:00
  It wasn't anything that I was doing or creating, all that I had to do was be willing to shut up and get out of my own way.
• 12:07
  So discernment, the way that I use it, is simple.
• 12:11
  It's understanding what someone is trying to communicate underneath the words that they're saying.
• 12:17
  And it is a spiritual gift, and it grows through practice and through relationships, as I've said.
• 12:21
  You know, Hebrews 5 and 14 tells us solid food is for the mature, who may who... Hebrews 514 tells us, but solid food is for the mature.
• 12:32
  who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
• 12:36
  You see, discernment gets trained by constant use.
• 12:40
  It is a practiced skill.
• 12:42
  And it talks about this in our recovery textbook as well, the big book of AA on pages 86 and 87, the chapter, you know, into action.
• 12:51
  It says we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.
• 12:56
  What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind.
• 13:02
  And that's that recovery textbook describing exactly the process of growing in discernment.
• 13:09
  The more that I practice it, the more a passing insight becomes a dependable one.
• 13:15
  And when I'm listening, not only am I listening to what the person has to say, but I'm listening to what the Holy Spirit is leading me to speak into it, if anything.
• 13:24
  Sometimes my proper response to what someone tells me is silence and presence.
• 13:30
  And I would have never known that back when I was drinking.
• 13:33
  Everybody teaches me something.
• 13:35
  You know, some people teach me what to do and some teach me what not to do, but I don't, or I'm not able to discern those things if I'm not ever stopping to listen to what someone has to say.
• 13:49
  In the big book on page 87, it says, be quick to see where religious people are right, make use of what they offer.
• 13:55
  And that passage is about the help other people of faith can offer other people in recovery can offer.
• 14:01
  And everyone that God puts in my path can offer me the same thing.
• 14:06
  I can make use of what they offer.
• 14:08
  And again, how do I know what they offer?
• 14:10
  I listen.
• 14:12
  So knowing whether someone is teaching me what to do or what not to do takes 2 things.
• 14:17
  It takes my connection with God and an honest look at my own motives and my heart.
• 14:21
  Proverbs 16 and 2 says that all a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.
• 14:27
  In other words, I can rationalize absolutely anything.
• 14:31
  The big book asked me, were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
• 14:36
  Well, I absolutely was.
• 14:37
  I was only thinking of myself. When I listen with my own agenda running, I learned the wrong lesson from the right person.
• 14:43
  I learned what I already think, it reinforces what I already think.
• 14:49
  And so our challenge for this week, as we round out this episode, is to pick a conversation that you're having with a friend and listen to them only to understand, hold off on your answer until you can say back what the other person meant.
• 15:03
  And don't continue until you get it right.
• 15:05
  You know, ask for confirmation.
• 15:07
  So what I understand that you're telling me, friend, is that you're feeling hurt because you felt as though I should have called you on your birthday to wish you a happy birthday and I did not.
• 15:20
  You know, that's just one example, and probably because I recently had a birthday, you know, here earlier in October, and I'm officially 50 now, so that's probably on my mind a lot.
• 15:29
  But after you talk to the person.
• 15:31
  Ask what that person taught you and whether it was something to do or something not to do.
• 15:37
  And then bring it all the way back to the stone that I started with today.
• 15:40
  The teachable heart is the one that keeps listening.
• 15:44
  Won't you pray with me?
• 15:46
  Father God, give me a humble and teachable heart today.
• 15:50
  Through your Holy Spirit, help me recognize your voice and respond with faith, shape me through the example of Jesus.
• 15:57
  Amen.
• 15:58
  That's our daily ripples devotional for today.
• 16:02
  Our new reflections are posted every day at dailyripples.com.
• 16:05
  You can write in and tell us what you think this week or anytime, or email, wave, WAVE, at dailyripples.com.
• 16:13
  And we'll see you next time.