Latest / Coaching For Life / Episode 13: One Year after the Camp Mystic Floods (Wade Lytal)

Transcript

Episode 13: One Year after the Camp Mystic Floods (Wade Lytal) · Coaching For Life

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: The Coaching for Life podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the Coaching for Life podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: A conversation that we pray encourages you to pursue the Christ center life.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm very thankful for my good friend and co-host, Mr.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Monty Williams.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: And today we're honored to have a special guest with us, Coach Wade Lytle.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being with us, Wade.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, our families have been praying for you and your wife, Mallory, and your daughter Emma, as you all continue to grieve the homegoing of your oldest daughter, Kellyanne, who went to be with the Lord on July 4th, 2025, in the Camp Mystic Floods.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: And now a year later, can you give us an update on how your family is doing?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: I know that you all seek to honor uh Kellyanne and her legacy of kindness every single day.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: But how did you all remember her on July the 4th this year, on the first anniversary of her homegoing?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, just in terms of an update, you know, how we're doing.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, uh, you know, every day's a new challenge, a new opportunity.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, some days are good, they're normal, other days are extremely difficult, um, a lot to process.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we're hanging in there, um, we're clinging to our faith.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're surrounded by um tons of family, an incredible community, uh, incredible church community.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, for me, Trinity's been phenomenal in terms of their support and me and my family and our mission moving forward.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um, my wife's employer has been phenomenal working with her as well as we continue to navigate um this new life for us after July 4th.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um this year, you know, with with it being the one-year anniversary, um, we actually went on a trip with 11 of the other families.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um so we all you know thought it would be important for all of us that could be able to be there to be together.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um the the the date, the holiday obviously has a significantly unique meaning to us now, yes.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um going through what we're going through.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I mean, I I I can say it was um it's it's always difficult.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think that day will always be difficult.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: But being with those other families, um, we all brought our siblings um or our um our surviving children.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and every night at dinner it'd be two sets of parent tables and the kids' table, and just hearing the laughter, the commotion, the energy.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um I know it's what our house used to sound like.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it was very therapeutic to be with them and to see our surviving children get along so well and um, you know, hopefully form some phenomenally strong bonds because, you know, like like we all said, you know, when when we first met each other July 4th, I mean, we're in this together for the long haul.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we're all there to support each other through all the ups and downs of life that that we had um, you know, obviously back, you know, July 4th of 25 and continuing for the rest of our lives.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's uh it's awesome to hear you share um the way you share, even before we started taping.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's pretty uh cool, is not the word.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's just um an amazing thing that God has done um through you.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, unfortunately, um ten years ago, this past February, I it's it marks ten years for um my wife Ingrid, who's gone on to be with the Lord, and uh I've since remarried.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And my new wife, Lisa, has done uh one of the coolest things she could have ever done in our home.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: She just has pictures of Ingrid um everywhere.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah and it's all kinds of pictures, just normal stuff, uh portraits, and it just speaks of her legacy, whether it's just being a mom, a wife, or just being her.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um in terms of Kellyanne, like what what what is what would you want people to remember about her when you talk about her in form in in reference to a legacy or just a memory or anything that could convey like who she is, and how do you like keep that going?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so um you know, we we started the Kellyanne Elizabeth Auto Memorial Foundation, and and the I guess the hashtag for it became kindness for Kellyanne.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: So um, you know, there were so many stories um prior to her passing away, and and many more people who came up to us afterwards to tell us different stories about their kids' interaction with Kellyanne.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, she was the girl that if someone was struggling roller skating, she would go slow down with them, hold their hand, help them.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um if someone was new to the school, there was a dad who approached me a couple months ago and, you know, hey, I wanted to tell you a quick story.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter was new at the school, and Kellyanne would go and have lunch with her every day just to try to make her feel welcome.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: So um, you know, kindness, inclusion, um you know, the the girl that never met a stranger, but you know, even more than that just being Kellyanne, when you learn about the other 26 girls, uh unbelievable.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely unbelievable the type of young women these girls were and the impact that they had, the impact that they are going to continue to have um, you know, through the parents and the different legacy funds and foundations that were established in their name.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I know to kind of how you mentioned, you know, keeping pictures um, you know, of your wife in the home.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: So like one of the we obviously have a lot of pictures of Kellyanne, but um, you know, kind of talking about the community again.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, my wife does a phenomenal job with her Kindness for Kellyanne Instagram account where, you know, she'll post different things about you know what we're doing with the legacy fund or differ just different things going on in our life.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: And there's been so many people that have reached out.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there was a picture of Kellyanne, and I'll tell the brief backstory, but you know, my wife had her wedding dress stored in a closet, like you know, it had been dry cleaned, zipped up, like, hey, no one's touching this.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: And Kellyanne just begged and begged and begged, please let me put it on, please let me put it on, please let me put it on.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: So finally my wife let her put it on, took a p to put it on, take a picture of her.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um and when we were actually back at Camp Mystic on July 6th or 7th to go search through, I mean, imagine an open pavilion with just mud-covered everything, sheets, stuffies, clothes.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And my wife and I had made multiple trips up and down the these aisles of these clothes and you know, trying to find what was hers.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're like, all right, we're done, we're gonna leave as we're walking out, just somehow in pristine condition, sitting on top of a dresser was that picture of Kellyanne and the wedding dress and everything.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so my wife posted and talked about that.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: And um, there was this woman that was like, I I want to paint this for you.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I wanna, I wanna give you a portrait of this.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's one of the things.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then many of the other pictures or you know, kindness for Kellyanne, different things.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's been so many wonderful people that have don't know us from all across the country that have reached out to Mallory, like, hey, we want to do this to honor Kellyanne.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: So our house is filled with different, you know, new portraits and pictures and pillows and different things.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so, again, just the the support that we've had from not only those that knew us before, but you know, the ones that have intentionally decided to walk alongside of us in this journey we're forever thankful for.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: What has all of all of those prayers and all of that outpouring of love from around the world?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: What has that meant to you all?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's hard to put into words, I mean, because it's not only around the country, but I'm sure just people reaching out with notes around the world and and emails and just words of of support and love for you all.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Aaron Ross Powell Yeah.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, uh we're still here.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's why I tell people, right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're still standing, we're we're still showing up every day for our friends, for our family, for Emma.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, it it helps buoy us, um, especially when we're having bad days, because you know, a lot of what a lot of people don't necessarily see um is the impact crater that this created.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, my parents also had to bury their first grandchild.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: And they're watching their son and daughter-in-law suffer, trying to figure it out, and and there's they know there's not much they can do, and and they're struggling themselves processing the loss, and it's the cousins, you know, my brothers and sisters, my wife's like, you know, and so there's just there there's been a lot um of the outpouring.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's funny you say around the world.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: My wife got a uh message on the Instagram account, a woman from Australia who was inspired by Kindness for Kellyanne, and I think she started making handbags for hospitals with Kindness for Kellyanne on it and going to distribute, you know, goods and different things to to help people, you know, halfway around the world.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: So um, I mean, I know this story, not just Kellyanne's but of all Heavens 27, has reached the globe.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um it it it is hit everywhere, and anyone who's a parent or has had any interaction with little kids, this was very, very, very difficult for them.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: When you're a believer um and you lose someone, um we don't call it a we don't call it a loss because we know where they are.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um but when you're going through it and you're dealing with not having that person around, you rely on, you know, your family members, you rely on your routine.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my routine was huge for me.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: But in terms of our faith, like how has your faith sustained you on those days where you don't want to get out of bed or you don't want to deal with the reality of what happened?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how has our faith impacted you, sustained you, and been a blessing to you?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean it's it's knowing that this life is temporary.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're promised eternity in heaven.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um a lot of the the dads and the moms will talk about that.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now our new favorite holiday is Easter.
• 11:01
  unknown: Yeah.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus conquered the grave, promised us eternal life.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um it it provides a small solace of comfort, you know, that that I know that Kelly ends up there, and I know she's in a better place, and I I know she's she's in the presence of the Lord, which there there can't be a better place in the world, but it still does make it very difficult because, you know, I wanted my baby here.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I wanted to I wanted the chance to raise her, I wanted to walk her down the aisle, see her become a mother, watch her graduate elementary school, high school, college.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, there's there's a lot of things that, you know, we were all robbed, you know, in terms of experiences with our children.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um but there there is comfort.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've I've read just about every book I can get my hands on on heaven, you know, try trying to understand it better and um where she is and and knowing she's in a better place.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that with with all my being that that she is in a better place in the presence of the Lord and she's okay and she's safe, and um, you know, it'll be a blink of an eye, and then we'll be up there with her for for all of eternity.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: So Monty talked about you know the the routines and and and you mentioned uh Trinity.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean you you graduated from Trinity in in 09, played football there, yes.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: And now you're about to start your tenth season as the uh offensive coordinator.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: How did uh coaching this this past year and uh uh Coach Urban, who seems like a solid believer, a great guy, and how did he and the rest of the staff and the players and and that coaching help in that healing process?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Aaron Ross Powell I mean, well, I it you know, it started on July 4th.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, we really didn't know what had happened, right?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Other than something had happened.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so my wife and I were probably one of the first families to get to Kerrville from Heaven's 26, what would become Heaven's 27.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um Because y'all were the first to walk in to the church.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: To the church, but that was in the evening.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: So so this was like, you know, my my wife woke up to a text message early in the morning on the fourth that something was wrong.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Not we didn't know what, but it was like it was enough for her to say, get up, we're we're driving to Kerrville now.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um so uh early in the morning.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: So we probably got there eight, nine in the morning, can't remember exactly what time we arrived in Kerrville.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um but then when we got the call that Kellyanne was unaccounted for, again, we don't know what that means, right?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: That that was it.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was just, hey, she's unaccounted for.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, uh did she just get separated from the group and you're looking like we obviously now we know a lot more about what happened um that night, but the first person I called was Jeremy.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and I just said, I I need you to pray for me.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't know what's happening, but Kellyanne's unaccounted for.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're at a Walmart in Kerrville waiting to find out what happened.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the next day or two days later, he shows up with the entire coaching staff to the church in Kerrville.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, a lot of the players I found out later on went and helped with search and recovery.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, so that was just immediate, right?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: It was, you know, nobody asked any questions.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um they were just like, you know, Coach Lytle needs help and and we're there.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and so that I'm forever grateful for that they were willing to be there with me in in those unbelievably dark moments where I didn't know, you know, what had happened to my daughter, what was going on.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um was just thankful to have them there with me.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then, you know, you get to the season.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, one of the hardest things coaching-wise I've ever done was Coach Urban allowed me the opportunity to address the team at our first team meeting.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, which I, you know, I cried a bunch.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I just told them what I was going through, that I loved them, that I promised them, you know, when I was in the building I was going to be there for him and I was gonna be a hundred percent dialed in and ready to go.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if I couldn't be, that, you know, I I wouldn't be there.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: We'd have, you know, we kind of had a plan for for someone to fill in.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: But then as as you know, training camp started and meetings started, and you know, originally I'd kind of said, I don't know if I can call plays this season, because that's a whole nother, you know, element to along with coaching the offensive line.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I remember our receiver coach, Coach Gazella.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was maybe practice two or three um into training camp.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I've got this stupid thing that I do where to get my steps in or get a little exercise, I would call the play from the sideline, the guys would signal it in, and then I would run to stand behind the huddle to watch the play, and then I would jog back.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I so I I just started doing that, right?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't think about it.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: I just I got on the field and it's it's ingrained in who I am, and I just started doing it, and he pulled me aside afterwards.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Wade, I don't even know if you noticed, but like you looked like your old self out there, just bouncing around, having fun, doing all that, you know, in the midst of all the grief, right?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And like we were talking about earlier, you know, I'd I'd coach practice, the meetings, I'd be dialed in, I'd be having fun with the guys, and then it's like there was a physical change in me that when I left the practice field, cry the whole drive home, um, you know, just knowing how difficult it was going to be to go back every day that she wasn't gonna be there.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and that I knew I needed to get it out to go be strong for Mallory and Emma.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, not that I haven't cried around him or that we haven't cried together as a family, but just knowing that I I truly believe the Lord calls us to lead our families.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I needed to make sure that I got myself in a position that, you know, when I walked through that front door, that you know, it wasn't only the old coaching adage of leaving your work behind and making sure you're home, but like the there was so much more to it.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and there will be so much more to it because you know, I don't think this grief journey's ever ending.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: It I had something happen to me that was really cool um with all that was going on uh a few days after um Ingrid had gone on to be with the Lord, everybody converged on Oklahoma City, which is where we were living, and my family, friends, um, and everybody was doing stuff, you know, and it was all good.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh some of it drove me crazy because I'm just we we were a pretty tight-knit group because of my job.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: We traveled a lot, just us.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when we were at the house, you know, people were cooking, cleaning, they were taking, you know, my kids, doing stuff with them.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I had a a really good friend of mine, Charlie Ward, speaking of football.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Charlie was at the house, and every room that I went to, Charlie would go with me and he would just sit.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd go to another room, he would sit.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd go to another room and he and he would sit, and he never said a word.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it was amazing after the fact when I realized what he was doing.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: He knew that there was nothing that he could say or do that was gonna help me.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: He just wanted me to know that he was there.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't get it until probably weeks, months later.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Was has there been anyone who's impacted you, not just in that way, but in a way that you probably didn't get it until a few weeks, a month later, two months later, where you're like, wow, that was that was God.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because he he just and if you know Charlie, it's totally Charlie.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's he's just the best dude ever.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: But in that moment, he I think he was just like, uh uh, my best friend is hurting.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want him to know I'm here.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can't fix this for him.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Can't say much.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And every time I look up, I I'd go in the kitchen, Charlie would just come and lean against the wall.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd go back, he'd sit on the fireplace stoop, and I was I was just like, that's just Charlie.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: But then later I was like, that's what he was doing.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Has there been anyone that's affected you in a way like that?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, there's been a lot that have.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, again, we we've been the the outpouring of support because again, this was a this was a national thing, right?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like this very few people didn't hear about what happened on July 4th, you know, in central Texas.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, you know, going all the way back to you, so my wife and I were actually, we were in Spicewood at my parents' house, um, and that's kind of where we stayed for you know a couple of weeks before we came back to San Antonio, because just the idea of walking into her room, um, opening the front door and knowing that there were going to be letters from her from camp.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it just we we weren't ready to to go back to that.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: But like when we were out in Spicewood, you know, two of my best friends day tripped from Houston, and I was like, guys, I promise I'm I'm going like I'm going to get through this.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: You do not have to do this.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: There will be other times.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, no, we're we're leaving.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: We'll be there in two and a half hours.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And they just drove out there and they just sat with me.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: Just, you know, talked, sat, cried, um, you know, thinking about what you said that Charlie did.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: I thought there was some I was thinking about, you know, kind of on the way over here that, you know, because a lot of people are like, I just don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to act around you.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um and and what having only a year going through this, um I think it's important that you just meet the people where they are.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you are going to encourage, it's very gentle.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and so like if if I'm having a really good day and I'm upbeat, don't come cry with me, right?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm having a good day, right?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm really upset and I'm really down, like, you know, so it's it's hard always to go meet people where they are in that moment.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, and so it's it's been really unique.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's God's put a lot of new people in my life.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, um, Aaron Kendall, the Navy SEAL who lives right down the street from me, that you know, we've we've done some stuff together in the media and like you know, just just having him there.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um the the the new people that are intentionally walking this with me, one of one of the beautiful things are is that they just accept me for who I am now.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't know me before, right?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the hard things is, and I'm thankful that I have it, is all the friends that we had that we're really close with, they're also trying to fight to get my wife and I, because we went to high school together.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: So most of our friend group has been a friend group since you know, fourth, fifth, sixth grade.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like we've all been very close.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's also an element of them that's fighting to get us back to the happy, fun, loving people that we were prior to July 4th, which which we need, right?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a it's a really unique balance of the people that have intentionally walked into your life and chosen.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: And someone told me this when Kelly Ann passed away.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Said, listen, you are going to be unbelievably shocked at the new people that anchor into your life.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: And there there have been more than I can name on the podcast that have come into my life after the fact and provided support.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've I've joked with people like, you know, one of them helps run a CrossFit gym, the other one's a SEAL Team 6 guy.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just need someone who wants to smoke brisket and hang out in the backyard and just relax, right?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, I know we emailed about like all the running events and the different things we've been doing, right?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I need that smoke brisket and chill friend to come in and start to anchor into me because I just turned 40, so all this running and lit, you know, I want to stay in chain.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: But extreme.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it it's it's gotten kind of pushed to the extreme a little bit.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: And you you know, you talked about just those those friends.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: And you thinking about the other dads.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that that was not a brotherhood that you asked for, you know, and and you didn't know these families in until July the 4th, a year ago.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: So talk about that community a little bit.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Not not only just the dads, but but the moms and the families.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_02: And uh and I love that you all went on that trip together, you know, just to be able to be around those who truly know what you're going through.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they're they're some of the strongest men and women I've ever been around.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, I think we all knew early on last July that we were going to need each other.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, a a lot of it started, you know, in Trinity Baptist Church in Kerrville, um, just walking around and introducing yourself.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and um hey, who, you know, who are you?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Where are you from?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: What cabin was your daughter in?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then you just kind of start building that initial relationship.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, as horrific as it is, most of our first interactions after the Trinity Baptist Church was at all of our daughter's funerals.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of them tried to get to as I mean, some of them went to upwards of 10 funerals um within a month span, just trying to be there for all the different families.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, and now it's more, you know, when we get together, you know, it's you know, hopefully a siblings' birthday party or celebrating the birthday of of our daughters, or um, like we talked about the, you know, going on the trip together for July 4th.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And um it's just been an unbelievably tight, loyal group to each other.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um that I I don't think there's anything we wouldn't do for each other in the event that that we needed to or one of us was in need.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think we'd all drop everything we're doing and and head that way and be there for them.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um and again, but we always say I think any one of us would happily take all this pain to have the other parents not have to go through this, right?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a tragedy that there's so many of us.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but there's there's a strong community that is helped keeping us upright anytime we're having a down day.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's a a group called Grief Share that um I I should have gotten involved in it earlier than I did.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was I just had this thing where I was, you know, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I I realized that there's no trophy for being okay when you're going through this kind of thing.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And when I got to the grief share group at CBC, I think it was it was, um, Janice Young was the leader of that group.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it was it was awesome for me to be around other people.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um the reason wasn't awesome, but just being around others that had gone through uh tough loss.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you talked about you had your own built-in community in terms of all of the families that were affected.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Was there a verse?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I I didn't understand loss in that way.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: I underst I understood it in in the general sense that absent from the body, present with the Lord, I understand that Jesus died for my sins.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: I understood that um at that point in my life, but I what I didn't understand, it was sobering that she belonged to him.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: And there's when I studied with the group in Grief Share, there were so many verses that um we went over that reminded me and us that you know we belong to him.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I had always looked at her as mine.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I remember Psalm 103, the the Bible says, know that the Lord Himself is God.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is he who has made us and not we ourselves.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: We are his people and the sheep of his pasture.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a verse that has been um not just sobering, but it's really hit home in terms of the reality of our life here, our relationship to the Lord, whatever the case may be, is there something that a verse that's a very important thing.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, probably not a specific one.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I you know, one of the things, you know, I'm not the greatest at memorizing and quoting scripture.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: So like that's one of the things that like I always tell people is that when I was younger, I was always intimidated to get really involved in young life and FCA and different things because it was like, man, like I'm not that guy that can go quote scripture and do all that.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm a believer, I believe it with everything I have.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I you know I do a daily devotional every day.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that'll always have a different reading in it.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's been a lot that, again, I off the top of my head, I can't sit here and say the exact one of what it is.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but there have definitely been ones that I have read.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and I had a friend tell me this, and I thought it was really a unique way of looking at it that, you know, when I think it talks about in Genesis how God breathed life into us.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: When we die, he exhales us back in.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that was, I was like, oh, like that's kind of that's a really interesting way of looking at it, right?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I know this isn't our permanent home.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um there's no way it can be with how broken it is, um, all the tragedy, all the horrible things that happen.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like there, there's no way this can be our permanent home.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so sorry I don't have a specific one, but but but it's more like like when I I have made the decision since Kellyanne passed away to start being more vocal with my faith.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and so I was actually listening to a sermon uh the other day when I was walking my dog, and they were talking about like what type of role do you want to play bringing heaven to earth or making earth feel like heaven?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like what type of role do you want to play?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to be on the sidelines and just be able to be like, oh, this is really beautiful looking at things, or like do you want to actually get on the field and be a part of it?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's been something that I've really tried to do more of.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's why I'm doing podcasts and I'm talking to people, allowing people, you know, talking more openly about my faith.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, when when players are going through difficult things, um, you know, I used to just talk to them.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now I break open my Bible, I go look for certain verses.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, one of the organizations that helped a lot of the families out was Samaritan's Purse.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they they came and sat with us and prayed with us in our home in San Antonio, brought us a Bible.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I want to say in the the front of the Bible, it's got, you know, different um sections laid out in it that says, you know, if you're going through this, this, this, or that, here are the verses.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so I remember it's like 11 o'clock at night.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: I had a player call me going through a lot of stuff, and I was like, hey, like, let's talk.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and and that and I'd never done that before.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I had never like I I know where my morality comes from, but I'd never really talked about it in that way openly and stuff like that.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I know something that that's something that I'm really trying to do is be more intentional with my faith, even though, again, in in the past I was usually much more enclosed with it.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's it does speak to like how God uses, he brings so much out of it.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: As horrible as it is, like there's so much good that comes out of it, or he uses someone to get your attention on something, like whatever it is, like God's behind it.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um my my former coach, uh Greg Popovich, when I was at the hospital, because one of my kids was still in bad shape.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we were, I was Pop had called and he wanted to come to Oklahoma City.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was outside my the room, and and he I I've told Will the story.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like he just kept telling me, he's like, Matt, you gotta let people help you.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta let he kept saying it over and over.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: He said it so much that I almost got upset because I was just like I heard Pop the first time.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: I heard you.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I wanted to get back in the room, but what I didn't realize, he had been watching me since I was 24 years old.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he knew how close I was with Ingrid.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, this dude is not gonna let people in.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: And he knew that's what I needed.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so he was strong enough to keep telling me.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, I needed that more than I knew I needed it.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: And again, like after the fact, I was like so grateful for that.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was so grateful for the community of people that put their arms around us and even making me hear things that I didn't really want to hear, whether it was Tondra Ward calling me to say, hey, you need a cook.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, why does everybody keep telling me what I need?
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: I got Chick-fil-A down the street.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: You just you don't realize it because for me anyway, she had been such an incubator and a protector.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: In in your situation, like, what's something that sticks out where somebody said, Hey bro, like you're like you, you want to sit in your backyard and smoke, you know, a brisket, but you got like you know, hey man, let's go for a run.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, What?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, I could I got the exact same advice you did.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: My young life leader, um, from when I was in high school, turns out he was living in Kerrville.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: So Mike called me when this was all happening in J in uh back in July and was like, hey, like, and and sure enough, he's a counselor now, does grief counseling.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Hey, like, I want to help.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, early on, you know, towards the the end of 2025, he would drive down and he would meet with Mallory and I and talk to us.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, like Mallory and I went to high school together, he was our young life leader, like he's known us since we were kids.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and he and he said the exact same thing.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Wade, you're gonna need to let people help you.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: And because again, I was sitting there, I was like, guys, I'm I'm okay.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: I promise.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: And same thing.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, funny enough, I had a friend, hey, I'm gonna get a chef to come over to your house.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, get out of here.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: I like to cook.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, what are you talking about?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so I think I just kind of made the decision to accept everything I felt like I realistically could.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and again, some of it was the the running in the two half marathons, um, you know, going out and just hanging out on Aaron's porch, you know.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I wouldn't say I was anti-social before, but like, you know, I I coach football, which you know, coaching is obviously an extremely busy culture.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: And and when I was away from the game, I was trying to just be with my family, right?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so you know, people be like, hey, come, let's go do this.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you know, I'm okay.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm just gonna hang out here at home.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I've correct.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of made the decision that, you know, like I said, I had, you know, Aaron came into my life and and you know, he poured into me, and he's obviously got experience with the SEAL teams, and you know, he's got his own, you know, view of you know, suffering and and death and and different things that he saw when you know he was deployed, and he's kind of helped me navigate some of those things.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I have a friend here in town, the one who you know helps um sponsor the the CrossFit gym.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I still remember like it was yesterday, he was like, hey, you know, and I didn't know him before.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: I never met him.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: We live in the same neighborhood, but like never met him before.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: And he was just like, I'd like to take you to get coffee.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, uh sure, like I'll I'll go talk to anybody, meet with anyone.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Well, I've got this CrossFit gym.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'd love for you to come.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, just come do it and um see if you like it.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, fell in love with it, right?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: And again, you know, I'm a coach, like the loud music, clapping, high-fiving during workouts, like that's not really who I am, right?
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm used to being the coach.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I was like, man, this is actually kind of fun, right?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a new community that I wasn't involved in before that is accepting me for how I am now, built a lot of friendships and relationships through that.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_04: That's great.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so again, I've I've been I I really have tried to be pretty intentional in terms of people that are coming into my life that are trying to help to allowing them that opportunity.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um and if it's ultimately helping me, like, yeah, I'm gonna latch on and and you know, spend time with them.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that's awesome.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: When you go through this kind of loss, you never move on, but with the the Lord's supernatural help, you you you try to move forward and and you have one eye set on what's before you, you know, your your first ministry and your first team to your family and and the callings that God has placed upon your life.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_02: But with the other eye, we have it set on eternity and we're we're living with eternity in mind.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: And my wife and I have have really appreciated some of the interviews that we we've heard where you all, Heavens 27, has focused on some of these meaningful statements like Eyes on Eternity and One Day Closer.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: So if you could talk a little more about uh what that has meant to you and how have you sensed and felt more of the nearness of God and how has heaven been more magnified in your life?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, uh, you know, it is true.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we we do sit there, you know, every day, you know, we sit there and think, all right, we're one day closer to to seeing our girls and and being reunited.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And um I I think it gives us a tangible goal that we're gonna continue to strive for.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think there's still a lot of work left here for us that we can do, you know, whether it's you know making camp safer, whether it's you know, bringing more people to the kingdom, whether it's inspiring people that are going through similar situations to what we're going through.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um I still think there's a lot for us to do while we're here.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um But yeah, I mean just that the you know, you don't really think much about heaven until it really impacts you, which looking back on it, like having now read some of the books on heaven and really thinking about it and and kind of praying about it and what it would be like and what it's like, like I don't know why I didn't think about this stuff before I ever had tragedy.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, how how beautiful heaven really is and what's awaiting us, you know, on the other side.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, again, I think it's just a it's it's a grounding thing for us that there's this tangible thing that is out there that we are striving to get to.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, obviously to be with our girls, but yeah, you know, just that we know that the Lord's got a safe place for us that, you know, whenever our time here is done, we're gonna have somewhere pretty, incredible, beautiful to go to.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Praise God.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: Just thinking about the gift of marriage, you know, and that you and Mallory have one another.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_02: How how have you all leaned on one another and on the Lord together in your pain?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: She's my best friend.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I've said this publicly.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I had a crush on her since seventh grade.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: She didn't date me until after college.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I was friend zoned for a very, very, very long time.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so we've known each other for a very long time.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, our moms went to high school together.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we we have a very, very, very long relationship together and history together, and a very strong marriage, um, you know, with our foundation and our faith.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I mean, we're getting help, right?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I do like we're we're going to therapy, we're doing different things to try to make sure that, you know, the the uh the unexpected hurdles that are coming, we don't know what they'll be, but we know that there's going to be something um that that we're just not gonna fully understand how to navigate.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean we're we're getting help.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and again, just praying together, spending time together, pouring into Emma.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, and and we're lucky to be surrounded by family.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, most of our it's Mallory's side of the family lives within half a mile of us.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: Aunts, uncles, sister.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's good.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so so we have a really tight-knit family community around us at at all times that are that are really helping us.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're having our bad days, I mean they're they're in a heartbeat, they're to help us and and steady us.
• 39:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: And we're we're sitting here with two coaches, and I I really uh love that story that that you told in another interview of at uh Kellyanne's funeral, how uh your mom was hugging on all the all your coaches from your past.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_02: So talk about just the the influence of a coach and and what that has meant to you.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean it's um I they made me who I am.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, when when I was in high school, Coach Koch, who was a long, long tenured head coach in Houston, um, Coach Moore, who's a Hall of Fame coach at Trinity.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I worked for Garrett Campbell when I was in Illinois, then coached with Coach Koch um when I coached back at Memorial, and um now being with Jeremy.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you you look back as an adult and the the coaches you didn't understand the most at when you were 16, 17, 18, because they were hard on you and they pushed you are the ones you have the most respect for when it's all said and done.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um the easy thing in coaching is to put your arm around someone and just say you're doing a great job.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the the the hard part is when you know a young man's working and they're pushing themselves to say, you've got more, yeah, keep going.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um I know there's another another level that you can take yourself.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thankful that I had a lot of men in my life that instilled that in me.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: I I never thought I would be needing to lean on those lessons for this.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was hoping it would be something significantly less tragic that I would need to lean on, you know, all the the toughness and everything that they taught me when I was a young man.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I mean, my mom was right.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I remember it like it was yesterday.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Coach Coch comes through, I think Coach Bromel was there.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, a lot of the guys that coached me when I was in high school, and she's just hugging them saying, Thank you, thank you, thank you for making him the man he is today.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: And they continue to reach out and check in on me.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I'm I'm I'm very thankful for, you know, and again, having been a high school coach and having been a coach, and y'all are coaches, like you pour a lot of your life into the people that you coach if you do it the right way.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it it's about a lot more than winning and losing.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, it's about growing young men and women and meeting at a point in their life where they do need instruction and guidance and development and someone willing to pour into them.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I'm just thinking, and again, I you know, I grew up, you know, two great parents who raised me the right way.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but but I needed those coaches to push me to levels that I couldn't take myself.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and now I've got people that have, you know, come into my life now that are continuing to help me do that.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, one of the things Aaron always tells me is, you know, never lose the ability to be miserable.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and don't ever be, don't ever get to the point where you will not voluntarily do hard things.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: And and I keep getting reminded of that.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, again, whether that's the running, the workouts, the um, and it could just be getting out of bed that morning, right?
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, just waking up and saying, I I am going to attack the day.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: I am going to have a good day.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, one of the things I always say is comparison's the thief of joy.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I don't ever sit there and you know try to compare that, oh man, well, they've they've got all their kids.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: They, you know, got to it's it's the thief of joy.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I just I try to focus as hard as I can on my life, my family, um, you know, my faith, and and continue to guide us.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: You you brought up a couple of things with the when you go through anything, it's not just you know, when God walks you through, you may not come up with a Bible verse, um, but you come up with a concept that is akin to a verse.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was going through it, um my boys and I slept together every night and they would fall asleep and I'd get out of my bed so I wouldn't wake them up, and I'd get in my closet, turn the lights out, I'd lay on the floor and I would just stare at her stuff because I didn't know what to do.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that came to me was I was out.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna pack my kids up, I was going out west, and I was just gonna like just get away.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that was that was hard for me because I just wanted to check out.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I always felt like God gave me this statement.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: It it's kind of gone to a place that I didn't think it would go, but it was everything you want is on the other side of hard.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: My hard was.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Was not quitting and allowing people to help me.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we all have different hards.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: And we take those statements and we use it in our coaching.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like now I use it in basketball with the kids at TMI.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, listen, your heart is you can't get in the stance.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: Your heart is you want to leave as soon as practice is over with instead of getting free throws.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like we all have a hard.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: A hard.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: Has there been something that you've been able to, and it may be too soon, but there has there been a concept that you've been able to pull from this where you're helping your players understand like this is what I've learned and this is going to help you?
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's been different situations.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, one of the things that I told all the guys before is I said, I want you guys to understand something.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Please don't feel like you can't come to me with your problems because you think they pale in comparison to what I'm going through.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because that was one of my fears was that their parents might get divorced or they're going through a bad breakup and they're afraid to talk to me because you know Coach Laddo's daughter just died.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like I don't I don't want to come crying to him over this.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: This seems so petty compared to what he's going through.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I tried to explain to them that element from the very beginning to make sure that they still would be willing to confide in me and I could still pour into them and help them, even though they may think that, you know, it it, like I said, pales in comparison to what I'm going through.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I trying to think if there was stuff that I intentionally said, you know, a lot of coaching last year was kind of a blur, you know, with with you know, kind of going through everything that I was going through.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you mentioned all the other things that went on with your family.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_02: I remember I think you said it was almost like you had the book of Job thrown at you.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty much did.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually had a coach from the Northeast who he reached out to me talking about people like connecting and pouring into your life.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: He had lost his daughter three years ago, and he saw the story and reached out to me.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: And him and I have been connecting probably once a month and talking, and he's been helping counsel me.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: He sent me a men's study guide on the book of Job, and this was before any of the other stuff happened.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: But it was, you know, obviously Kellyanne passed away in the summer.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: My mother-in-law had a stroke.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: Mallory's brother died from brain aneurysm at 31.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: I still remember I'm walking off the football field, and Mallory and him aren't there.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad's walking with me and talking about moments where I think the Lord was there protecting me.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: I actually had a bunch of my high school friends.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I've ever told the story publicly.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: A bunch of my high school friends had come to watch the game and take me out to dinner that night just to be there for me.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I talked to them all on the field after the game, like, all right, hey, I'll meet you.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're going to Stoneworks, like, I'll see you there in 30, 45 minutes.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Walking off the field, my dad looks at me and goes, Wade, triple died.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: Excuse me?
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what?
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_01: How did that happen?
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they obviously didn't know.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: So Mallory had gotten in the car and driven to Dallas immediately to be with his wife because they had just celebrated their son's one first birthday.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and but I like of all the times for all my friends to be there to take me out to dinner.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't tell them at dinner, I told them after the fact.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm sorry if I seemed a little bit out of it, but here's what was happening.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I was so thankful that y'all were there, right?
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: That like to be there with me.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then, you know, my youngest brother, they had twins and nearly lost the second one.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was minutes away from not surviving.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it was just like, I mean, that fall, I mean, we we got put through it.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: But again, I'm still here.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: We're still here and um, you know, trying to do good in the world, trying to inspire people, and we're gonna keep doing that.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we read in 2 Corinthians 1 3.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: So as we wrap up the conversation, what would you say to those listening who are currently walking through those stages of grief?
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say to to comfort them and what should they cling to during those desperate moments?
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean for me, it's been my faith.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there there's no doubt that those those days, those moments, those times that it seems like the world's collapsing in on you.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm clinging to my faith, I'm grabbing my Bible, I'm calling you know, some of the people I have in my life that are very strong in their faith that will help advise me and guide me and talk to me and and strengthen me in those those moments where I really don't know if I can do it myself.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would tell people find a community where wherever that is.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um workout group, Bible study, friend group, whatever it is.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, find something that you can go and you can spend time with people that care about you and that are really invested in your life and helping you get through what you're getting through.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: And and again, for for me and Mallory and Emma, it's been tremendous outpouring of support from all sorts of people from all over the world that um are helping us and are there for us.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, and again, they just don't don't be afraid to accept the help.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be too prideful.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, right, you know, and again, I we're all coaches, and yeah, I mean it's don't don't be too prideful to accept help and to accept guidance.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean you take all of it, but you know, be willing to listen to people who who want to help you or provide a meal or you know, maybe take you know your son or daughter on a play date with them, so maybe you can go have a date night with your wife, you know, or whatever you're going through.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like don't don't don't be too prideful to accept the help.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, with each one of our guests, we we try to leave them with a little book that has ministered to us and and we pray it ministers to you.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_02: And and we wanted to give you uh Dane Ortland's book, Gentle and Lowly.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: If if you already have it, you can you can pass it on to someone else as a gift.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: But it talks about how Jesus meets us in our heart and our suffering and how he longs to show us his compassion and his gentle love, that beautiful love and kindness that Kellyanne now knows fully in glory.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much for joining us.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: We thank the Lord for you, brother, and uh let me pray for us at this time.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_02: Lord, I do thank you uh for the Lytle family, uh for Wade and Mallory and Emma and sweet Caroline, who is now in your presence, a place of everlasting worship and love, and we know that we are one day closer to being with you, Lord, and our loved ones that have gone before us.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_02: And Lord, I pray that you would continue to minister your supernatural peace and comfort to the Lytle family and to all who lost loved ones in the devastating floods last summer.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Lord, would you be especially near to them and fill Wade as uh he serves Mallory and uh as he ministers to Emma and as he also is used by you to make a lasting impact in the lives of the young men on the Trinity football team.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: So be with him this season, uh bless him and favor him and all that he puts his hands to.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_02: And would you use him as a light to point the players and his fellow coaches to you, Lord Jesus?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_02: We ask this in your name.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Coach.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_02: And to the listener, uh, we are praying for you as well.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_02: And we want you to remember that whatever it is you're facing today, know that God loves you, He's for you, He's got a good plan for you, and we'll see you next time.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us at Coaching for Life.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_00: And please subscribe wherever you receive this content.