Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Vivian Tu - Investing Expert & Founder of Your Rich BFF | How to Get (and Stay) Rich

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Vivian Tu - Investing Expert & Founder of Your Rich BFF | How to Get (and Stay) Rich · Success Story with Scott Clary

• 0:00
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  code success for 30% off your first order of these amazing gummies. Back in our parent generation,
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  it was work hard, go to the right college, get the right job, and retire at 65. These days,
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  following that same blueprint doesn't work. From the trading floor at JP Morgan to the top of
• 1:20
  the personal finance world, Vivian 2, also known as your rich BFF, has transformed how millions
• 1:26
  understand and manage money. I actually go down this path of being a W2 employee, everything
• 1:31
  was awesome, but as things happen on Wall Street, the head of my desk would let go, and half of my
• 1:36
  team got fired. I got moved from my manager and assigned to another manager. He couldn't find
• 1:41
  a single thing right about me. He was like, you're too girly to have this job. I just walking over
• 1:47
  to my original manager and being like, I'm quitting today. When I ended up quitting my job,
• 1:51
  I had the best Monday of my life. As the founder and CEO of your rich BFF,
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  she's taken her expertise in finance and built a multimedia empire that simplifies complex
• 2:02
  financial concepts for everyone, with over 8 million followers across platforms, a chart-topping
• 2:07
  podcast, net worth and chill, and a New York Times bestseller, Rich AF. I was actually put into a
• 2:13
  summer camp program by my parents. I credit a lot of my academic drive and ultimately success
• 2:19
  to that summer camp program. A journey from translating financial discussions for her immigrant
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  parents to becoming a digital trailblazer and empower others to achieve financial freedom.
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  This is Vivian 2. If you are not optimizing, if you are not investing, if you're not budgeting,
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  you can waive goodbye to retirement. Money is the most important thing. People think it is,
• 2:35
  it's not your most important thing is your time. Welcome to success story. I'm your host,
• 2:41
  Scott Clary. The success story podcast is part of the HubSpot podcast network. HubSpot not only
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  supports this show, but they support entrepreneurs. That's why I'm such a huge fan of HubSpot,
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• 3:35
  So why does everybody need a rich BFF?
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  Because the world is too hard right now to be broke. I feel like, you know, back in our
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  parents generation, it was like, there was an opportunity for the American dream. Well, I guess
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  in your case, the Canadian dream, but it doesn't really work like that anymore. For them, it was
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  work hard, go to the right college, get the right job, and if you get that W2 job and climb the
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  corporate ladder, you can ultimately have two and a half kids, goal and retriever, white pick
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  offense house tire swing, take two vacations a year, and retire at 60, 65. Okay, sounds good
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  enough, and that sounds like a very happy life for many, many people. But these days,
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  following that same blueprint doesn't work. We actually now have to, as a society, understand
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  money and understand our finances better than ever, because we can't afford to have the,
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  what I like to call leakage that our parents had. They could afford to be a little bit more
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  careless with their money. They didn't have to optimize at every single turn. But these days
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  our generation, if you are not optimizing, if you are not investing, if you're not budgeting,
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  if you're not saving, if you're not making smart money decisions for the majority of your life,
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  you can wave goodbye to retirement. You're not going to get there. You're not going to get there
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  in the way that you want to get there. And I think that is a hard reality that we have to accept.
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  But the sooner you get to that mindset of it is harder than it used to be. But there are still
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  things I can do now to make it possible for me to have my happily ever after, the better off
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  everybody will be. And that is why your HBFF is here to help you with that journey.
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  It's so interesting, because again, I come from a family that was super risk adverse. So
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  like that is that working government. And mom worked for university, took time off at
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  my brother, but she worked in universities and they all had pensions. Like pensions don't exist
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  anymore. And I remember growing up, people have asked me like, why did you choose to do something
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  different, not go into law, not going to sort of like a safe, secure, whatever kind of job that
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  was expected of you. And it was really because I had to do the math. And I know you do math
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  on your FU number. I was doing math on my retirement number. And I was figuring out in Canada,
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  taxes are significant. So if I make X amount of dollars for X amount of years and so much is taxed,
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  and I save it away as a little nest egg, and I don't have a retirement or a pensions,
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  excuse me, because my dad's pension is 70% of his best, so the day that he dies, that kind of
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  pension doesn't exist anymore. So let's define benefit. Now you have like to find contribution where
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  you can contribute to like, I guess, RSPs in Canada 401Ks down here, but still that pension doesn't
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  exist. So I'm stressed out, I'm like, okay, how much money? Like it's like 10 million, 15 million,
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  20 million, do I have to have when I'm 65? And the job didn't make sense for me. But there's no
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  more financial education for people. So now they're just stuck knowing that, okay, I don't really know
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  how to retire, but I don't have a plan B or an alternative. And I think that's the issue.
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  And I think that like is why so many, I don't want to say Gen Zers are defeatist,
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  but there is a general defeatist attitude about the financial system as it currently stands,
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  because to your point, people know that they're not getting there, but then they don't know how to
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  get there. And I think a lot of us like to have that internal locus of control of saying, okay,
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  so even if I'm not in a good spot now, there are XYZ things I can do to get to a good spot.
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  We don't give the education in schools of how to get to a good spot with your money. So people are
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  concerned, they're worried. And of course, when you are overwhelmed and you want to stick your
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  head on the sand, the easiest thing to do is go and buy something nice today and not worry about
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  tomorrow, but ultimately tomorrow comes. And you're always going to have to pay the Pipe Piper. And
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  when you are 60 65, are you going to be comfortable not having a single dollar set aside for future
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  you? Because future you is here. And that's really scary. Super scary. And you're living longer than
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  ever. And you don't know how to retire. And I don't think I don't think people are actually
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  thinking about it. I actually don't think that we've come to the point where people are realizing
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  that they're 55 60 and they don't have enough to retire. And oh my god, what am I going to do?
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  What was your sort of inflection point in your career? Because you did come from more traditional
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  nine to five higher earning potential, maybe walk us through your career, but also still traditional
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  nine to five. Yeah. So for a little context, I come from a household of Chinese immigrant parents.
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  I'm an only child, only daughter, no pressure. And I did everything right. I was the valedictorian
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  of my high school got into the University of Chicago, you know, top three school in the US, like
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  good grades, graduated with like a three eight with honors, ended up going to Wall Street.
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  And my parents were like, this is our American dream. Like our daughter has made it to Wall Street.
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  We have succeeded as parents. And unfortunately, my parents were very loving throughout their
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  entire lives with me. And they have taught me a lot about budgeting and saving. And obviously,
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  I'm still very, very close with them. And I'll call them for advice or like, you know, their POV
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  on stuff. But they didn't have the education to give me the information about investing or demanding
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  my worth or growing my income or starting a business or anything like that. So getting that high
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  earning W2 job was this huge opportunity. And I met my mentor. And she was the one who actually
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  taught me, hey, are you contributing to your 401k? Like make sure you're picking the right
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  health insurance plan. Are you saving? Are you investing? This is somebody you're working with?
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  This was my first manager. She was the only other woman on my team. And man, did I want to be just
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  like her? She clacked into work in a new pair of Gucci stilettos, flung her 18th designer bag
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  that I had seen onto the shelf. And I wanted to have those things. She was the only person I was
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  obviously 22 at the time. But she was the only person that I knew who owned their apartment in
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  New York City. Like she just had it all. And I wanted to be just like her. So I took a lot of her
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  advice. And that was a pivotal moment because I started to think about money very differently. And
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  before it had always been scrimped, save, stowed cash under the mattress. And now it was, how do I
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  make more? How do I get my worth? How do I earn? How do I build, grow, grow? Instead of saying,
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  how do I make sure there's less going out? It was, how do I make sure there's more coming in?
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  That's interesting because you're still learning from somebody that at this point spent their whole
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  life working a job, huge earned, earning potential. But there's going to be this very long path to
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  get there. Yes. And I think that's the difference too. I mean, you can, I mean, if you want to make a
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  lot of money, it does make a lot of sense to be in the top 10% of finance or legal or medical.
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  And you'll make a shit ton of money. And I think the beauty of that type of role is that it's
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  almost guaranteed. Yes. You know, to a certain degree of likelihood that if you are a decent person
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  at your job within 10 years, you will make a certain amount. And you should be, you can comfortably
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  get there and can depend on it almost a year after year. The whole your rich BFF thing. That's
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  how it's going to ask, like, why did you not know that path? Yeah. So I actually thought I was going
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  to go down this path of being a W2 employee. I love my manager. Everything was awesome. But as
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  things happened on Wall Street, the head of my desk would let go. And half of my team got fired.
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  So it was like 30 traders and half of them got the axe pretty much overnight. This new boss,
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  head honcho, brings in his own guys. And it's a very different team than the one that I had signed
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  up to join. And all of a sudden, I went from based to call me like, all right, superstar, like rock star
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  because I was like, you know, the smart new like girl on the desk. And I got moved from my manager
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  and assigned to another manager. And he couldn't find a single thing right about me.
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  Didn't like that. I'd come into the office, do a little work, and then take five minutes to go put
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  on a little bit of makeup in the bathroom at seven a.m. He didn't like how my nails
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  clacked on the keyboard. He didn't like the way I dressed. And he made a comment to me. He was like,
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  you're too girly to have this job. And there is like, here's this. No, no, literally, there's
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  like, there's like 2017. Yeah. And the straw that broke the camel's back is one day I came in to
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  work with a long cardigan on. And he looked at me and touched his hands together and bowed and said,
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  is that a kimono? Like, yeah, like, you don't even know what to say to that. That's insane.
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  And I at the time being, I think it was like 22, 23 years old, I really didn't know what to say
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  that because I am the smallest fish in this proverbial pond. I don't have the, you know, laurels
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  terrest on. I can't yell at him. I can't say anything bad. You're probably yourself worth
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  as tied up into this job at this point. Deeply tied because all of myself worth had been tied
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  to the validation of the success in my life success as well as the money. I was the highest paid
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  person out of all of my girlfriends because I had gotten this job straight out of school. My parents
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  were so excited to brag to the aunties about what I had gotten this job. And suddenly this job
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  became a fucking nightmare. Am I allowed to swear? Yeah, you got it. It became a nightmare because
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  I felt like no matter how hard I worked, no matter how smart I was, I was never going to be
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  enough. Like I, not my work, but me. I was never going to be enough. And that was so, so demoralizing
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  to realize that there were things about myself that I was not going to be able to change to make
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  this guy like me. And then to know that he was the one with the power to be in the backroom,
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  slamming the table, saying, this girl's talented, we need to make sure she gets a raise,
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  make sure she gets promoted. He wasn't doing that for me. He didn't like me. Well, he's not even
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  treating you like a human being. Yeah, it's not like he's going to go to bat for you. And
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  I just remember walking over to my original manager to her desk and being like, I'm quitting today.
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  And she turned to me and said, don't be an idiot. You don't have a job lined up.
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  And I'm like, true. That's good advice. And she was like, tough it out,
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  grin at and bear it. We'll talk after the close. So the close being the market close at 4 p.m.
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  And so we went to dinner that night and I told her what had happened. And I could just see like
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  the disappointment in her face because I'm sure her being, you know, 15 years my senior,
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  she had experienced that, but in a very different era. And it was probably stuck with it.
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  And she really like, she's got a tough skin. And she had earned a lot of her stripes. Like,
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  to the point where being a five foot two woman, the sales guys who were probably a foot taller than
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  her would cower and fear if she said something to them. And so I think it really upset her that I
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  was dealing with something like that in this day and age. And we had a long conversation about
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  what my options were. And I started looking at other jobs. I was interviewing with hedge funds.
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  I was interviewing with asset managers. And then she was like, also, my girlfriend who left
• 15:28
  Goldman Sachs went into tech and media. She works at a media company now. Do you have any interest?
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  I'm like, I will literally go work retail if it means I can get away from this man.
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  And so I ended up meeting with her friend. And that woman ended up becoming my first boss at BuzzFeed.
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  Was the idea advice you gave you to to be thoughtful about leaving? Do you think that was good advice
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  or do you think you should have like for people that are listening that are dealing with a situation
• 17:46
  like that because I have conflicting feelings about that too. When you jump I always
• 17:53
  doesn't matter if somebody didn't let go or they quit or they're fired. When you have that,
• 17:58
  when you have that like sink or swim moment, people usually find something better very rarely outside
• 18:05
  of COVID or some like very very significant you know world-evented impacts hiring or whatever.
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  In a normal economy I always find that people do land somewhere better and something that they
• 18:17
  enjoy more and something that's more in line with who they are as a person. But I think the biggest
• 18:23
  the biggest hurdle that people have to get over is taking that first step. So do you think that
• 18:27
  it's smart to stay in that environment knowing that you could maybe because of the type of person
• 18:35
  there's certain kinds of people that would stay in that environment because they'd look for a job
• 18:39
  and then they wouldn't give it their all. They wouldn't be looking with their all because of pay
• 18:44
  checks still coming in. So what is sort of the takeaway that you have from that experience should
• 18:51
  somebody leave should somebody stay in that moment? I think you and I have conflicting views here.
• 18:56
  I am so grateful she told me to do that because for me I was able to give the job hunt my all
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  because I had a paycheck coming in because I didn't have to worry about how I was going to pay
• 19:13
  my $2,000 a month rent in New York City while still affording groceries while still you know
• 19:19
  essentially being able to keep my life together. On top of that I didn't have a gap on my resume.
• 19:27
  When I ended up quitting my job I had the best Monday of my life because I knew
• 19:36
  that in seven days I would have a new job to start and I could faff about for one week really
• 19:42
  really enjoy the city enjoy my time but I wouldn't have to go very long without money and I wouldn't
• 19:48
  have to worry about if I had to take the right job or the right now job because if I had burned
• 19:59
  through all of my savings and I was coming up on the next rent payment I would have taken whatever
• 20:04
  job had come my way but because I had a paycheck coming in because I didn't have to take the very
• 20:11
  first offer I got I got to wait out and find the right job the job that was going to have the
• 20:17
  benefits I wanted that was going to have the opportunities that I wanted and going to give me the
• 20:22
  opportunity to grow and on top of that I got to take the extra time when I got my offer I negotiated
• 20:28
  and that took HR going back and forth for another couple days and I didn't feel any sort of pressure
• 20:34
  because again I still have money coming in the door can count on my paycheck and because I had
• 20:40
  the luxury of the time to negotiate extra I got more money. So I don't disagree with you the only
• 20:46
  reason why like the X factor that sort of sort of informing like what I just mentioned was the fact
• 20:52
  that the guy was such an asshole and berating you and belittling you and being kind of racist and
• 20:57
  just a really big piece of shit. I will say after I made that decision I wasn't so worried about oh
• 21:05
  I can't talk back to this guy because he's going to be the one writing my end of year review I knew
• 21:11
  I was headed all my way out and so I said I'm going to do what's right by me I'm not staying late
• 21:17
  no more I am going I am going to go get drinks with my girlfriends I took my full two-weeker and
• 21:23
  I was like you normally like I check in I'm like everything okay how things are two weeks you didn't
• 21:28
  hear from me like I'm dead to you I took my vacation I actually quit the Monday after I came back
• 21:34
  for my two-week vacation and I cannot tell you the old sales guys the guys who had been there even
• 21:42
  before the new manager had come in when they found out that I pulled that stunt they were like
• 21:47
  yo that's a pro move that is a veteran move who taught you that and we had a good old laugh and I
• 21:54
  still have a wonderful relationship with so many of the people that I started with I mean I think
• 21:59
  it's so funny I make content about how old rich white men have always had financial education
• 22:05
  most of my first mentors were old rich white men and they were my biggest advocates and so for
• 22:11
  them to turn around and say yes are you leaving our team but am I proud of the way you did it do I
• 22:19
  feel good about you standing up for yourself and then to maintain a relationship to be able to
• 22:24
  still go grab drinks with them today like I mean I think it really speaks to those types of people
• 22:30
  and at the end of the day when you have a manager and you have a team that is going to support you
• 22:36
  and help you thrive you're going to and when you don't you better get out of there you better get
• 22:42
  the hell out of job hell out of dodge because you're not going to win you won't but that's okay so
• 22:48
  that's a really good point so the people that's that you surround yourself with obviously this
• 22:51
  gonna give you access to education and you've mentioned before that a lot of people that have a
• 22:56
  tough time understanding that they can make money to and they can be wealthy too and they don't have
• 23:01
  those influences growing up but you didn't have those influences growing up how important are
• 23:06
  those influences in somebody's perception of wealth money success it is unbelievable unbelievable
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  I'll give you an example so I grew up in a what I would consider to be like a middle class
• 23:19
  neighborhood upper middle class neighborhood my parents mentality was always by the worst house in
• 23:24
  the best school district so I could go to the best public school and I did I went to a very good
• 23:29
  public school um you know got a great education but the students at my school most of them
• 23:38
  aspired to essentially have their parents life and I probably would have aspired for the same
• 23:44
  until I was actually put into a summer camp program by my parents for them we wouldn't take
• 23:51
  vacations a year like we it was not fancy my family did not have money like that but they would
• 23:56
  spend three thousand dollars for me to go to the summer camp it was two weeks long and it was
• 24:01
  called center for talented youth and it was hosted on college campuses where they would bring
• 24:08
  middle schoolers and early high schoolers who had taken the SATs as like 10 11 year olds
• 24:15
  and scored high enough to enter into the vast majority of colleges so these are like very very
• 24:21
  astute academic students when I got into that program suddenly I wasn't with a bunch of
• 24:31
  normal kids from my normal neighborhood I was with the smartest kid from every school and suddenly
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  I realized I am not the smartest person in this room anymore and that put a hunger in me a hunger
• 24:44
  in me that I could not get from my regular education and I listened to these people talk about
• 24:54
  their schools some of them went to those really fancy boarding schools they went to private schools
• 24:58
  in New York they went to like you know these fancy schools and they were like oh yeah like these
• 25:03
  are my top three colleges because my school has a really good job of placing kids at Harvard or
• 25:08
  really a job of placing kids at Princeton that of them I wasn't even thinking about that but suddenly
• 25:15
  I wanted to go to schools like Harvard and Princeton and I wanted to go to an Ivy League college
• 25:20
  or something of that like the MIT's you Chicago Stanford dukes the underbills of the world
• 25:25
  and for me that was social class mobility it showed me that there was a world outside of what
• 25:31
  my neighborhood was giving me and that there were richer people there were smarter people
• 25:36
  and people who were more successful than the people I surrounded myself with on a day to day basis
• 25:41
  and it gave me such a vision for what my future could look like
• 25:48
  especially because the first year I went I was the youngest eligible age and there were people
• 25:54
  who were freshmen or sophomores and high school who were starting to really think about kind of
• 25:58
  that next step of like what are we doing to prep for college I got that education from people
• 26:04
  who were older than me so I learned just as much as I did in the actual summer camp programming as
• 26:09
  I did from my peers these peers who were highly intelligent highly successful highly academic
• 26:16
  and I credit a lot of my academic drive and ultimately success to that summer camp program
• 26:22
  I just want to take a quick break and thank the HubSpot podcast network for supporting
• 26:26
  success story for the past two years now the HubSpot podcast network has other incredible podcasts
• 26:31
  like my first million now if you are an entrepreneur or you are ready to turn your entrepreneurial
• 26:36
  dreams into millions you have to listen to my first million it's a show that is revolutionizing
• 26:40
  business podcasting it's hosted by Sam Parr Sean Perry this is a HubSpot podcast network
• 26:45
  original it brings you unfiltered conversations with self-made millionaires who actually tell you
• 26:51
  how they did it if you want to learn how Alex from Mozi built his fitness empire or how
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  Sophia Amaruso turned nasty girl into a fashion phenomenon these aren't just success stories
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• 27:09
  million learn how to make it listen to my first million wherever you get your podcasts
• 27:13
  is there a way for an individual to architect that environment because I fully agree with you
• 27:19
  I think it's incredibly important I mean half of this podcast has been that right you sit down
• 27:23
  with like the best people in the world and it's great it's a business it's fun it makes money
• 27:27
  but selfishly like I surround myself with people to think much bigger than I did growing up
• 27:32
  so outside of starting a podcast and interviewing people how do you architect something like that
• 27:38
  because I think that that radically shifts the lens that you look at the world through and I don't
• 27:43
  know because people have asked me I need to surround myself with better people and even before we press
• 27:49
  record we're talking about how my aim is hard to find the right groups of people and I think a lot
• 27:52
  of people end up wasting their time or or somebody tells them a story about how successful they are
• 27:59
  and it's hard to tell if you're legit or you're full of it so how do you how do you find your way
• 28:04
  into these groups yeah I think it's all about changing your proximity so you might have a proximity
• 28:11
  of certain social circles right now and you will only go as high as those social circles can get you
• 28:17
  but if you start making inroads and start networking especially with people in your workplace
• 28:24
  so say you work on a team and you're like actually I'd really like to be on the revenue team
• 28:31
  maybe it's all about just taking somebody on that team the most junior person on that team out
• 28:36
  and learning about what they do and then understanding better what those roles and responsibilities are
• 28:41
  and saying hey can I join your standup on Monday mornings so you can now have an understanding of
• 28:46
  what they do suddenly you're being invited to their happy hour and oh when there is an opening
• 28:53
  on that team they know you've been interested for months they're going to look at your resume
• 28:58
  internally before they even put it on the jobs post and so now you've built a relationship
• 29:04
  I think this is also something that I have been working on personally because it's really easy
• 29:09
  especially now as a creator it's hard to make friends and I am so grateful when I do have a
• 29:17
  natural friend interaction whether it's meeting you know other creators or talent at events
• 29:24
  and I'm thinking of a very specific scenario I met a girl and became close friends with her friend
• 29:33
  and then suddenly last week I was out getting drinks with their whole crew and everybody's impressive
• 29:38
  everybody's cool everybody's smart everybody's got something going on nobody is a
• 29:43
  stay at home you know bond bond on the couch like everybody has a passion they're not the same
• 29:50
  not all creators not all media people not all tech people not all finance people but
• 29:56
  everybody's got their own thing and I think that is the most powerful piece is making sure your
• 30:03
  friend group is as diverse as you want the opportunities available to you to be because if
• 30:09
  you're going out to dinner with 10 finance people you're only going to look at finance opportunities
• 30:14
  and what they can offer you but if you have friends and co-workers and a network that spans tech
• 30:23
  finance media fashion beauty like food auto like all of this you suddenly have a
• 30:31
  literal peak into all of these cool things that are happening in all these different industries
• 30:36
  and you just get to see more and no more and and also yeah so you get to see more you get to
• 30:41
  know more you open yourself up to all these different perspectives I mean I think some of the
• 30:46
  best ideas that I've had for anything that I've done in my life have come from some other
• 30:50
  industry that somebody's trying something new some marketing strategies some whatever they you
• 30:55
  they say it and you're like light bulb moment I've never heard that from anybody in
• 30:58
  my close circle or my my industry appears whatever and I'm going to bring that in my big advice
• 31:04
  though when you're looking for friends no haters at home holy shit I mean no haters at home no
• 31:10
  haters at home like your friendship circle is your home like you do not want a friend who's
• 31:14
  gonna like try to make you feel small to make them self feel big like I mean I'm trying to think
• 31:20
  of the last couple times that I pung out with my girlfriends like somebody will actually do negative
• 31:24
  self talk and we will jump on them like a rabid group of hyenas and be like you are not that you are
• 31:31
  beautiful you are smart you are confident you are capable and like literally beat them up with
• 31:36
  positivity you want your friends to celebrate your wins as much as they celebrate and help you
• 31:43
  commiserate your losses because you always think that a good friend is not only going to be there
• 31:49
  for you for the high moments but also for the low moments it's actually the other way around
• 31:53
  friends sometimes are really great at supporting you when you're down but is that friend genuinely
• 31:59
  is happy for you when you succeed even if it's a success like a success that may have taken away
• 32:06
  from them that is a true friend I also have found that the people that are actually successful
• 32:13
  and successful in many definitions but they've been successful in their careers like financially
• 32:17
  successful and they're genuinely good people they they never bring you down those those people that
• 32:25
  have had success are like a hundred percent on board with every single win that you have and if
• 32:30
  anything the people that are truly successful they're trying to find a way to like get into something
• 32:36
  that you're doing because they're so fucking excited about it they're like they're always thinking
• 32:39
  they think differently so when when you have a friend who's successful and has made a lot of money
• 32:44
  and you're building a new business and they like you and they trust you you'll actually have
• 32:49
  to tell them like no I don't want your help I don't want your money like please let me do this
• 32:53
  thing on my own because they they want to support you in any way possible and it's just a different
• 32:58
  it's a different conversation it's just a different energy from somebody who is I like these words
• 33:03
  are so silly but I mean like somebody who's abundant versus scarcity they exist it's a totally
• 33:09
  different energy and I think that I mean it takes a little bit of being in enough rooms to understand
• 33:16
  who those kinds of people are but if you spend time in the right room with the right people
• 33:21
  it's it that room gives you energy and makes you excited to go back and go build your own thing or go
• 33:26
  take I'm talking more entrepreneurial obviously but still that room should give you energy to go
• 33:32
  take the next step in your job or take the next step in your career too ultimately you want
• 33:36
  every single relationship to be a cost benefit analysis because when you go into that friendship
• 33:41
  when you leave how do you feel do you feel plus or minus because when I say cost benefit analysis
• 33:48
  people are like are so you only have rich friends no some of my friends are the broke as people
• 33:52
  on earth let me tell you they've got six figure student loan debt because they turned you know
• 33:56
  turned right around after undergrad and became surgeons but like when you are with that person
• 34:03
  does your energy feel more after you are with them or less do you feel depressed after you hang out
• 34:08
  with them or do you feel like you could lift up a tree because that energy exchange has value
• 34:14
  and I think we have to remember that like wins are infinite everybody can win there is enough
• 34:20
  white space for all of us to be winners and if someone doesn't think that way they are going to
• 34:25
  try and take away your success without ever actually getting their own correct and that's why
• 34:29
  it's also important to define success success isn't always about wealth and money but again the people
• 34:34
  that you want to be in rooms that at least give me energy their people that are focused on constant
• 34:38
  improvement so yeah it could be a doctor that has six figures in debt or it could be somebody who's
• 34:43
  not even focused on material material yes but they have a mission that they're very excited about
• 34:50
  like they have purpose in their life and they want to achieve that whatever that purpose is but
• 34:54
  they also want you to achieve your thing as well and I think that those are the types of people
• 34:58
  that you should spend more time around those are the the BFFs and I mean rich again is not just
• 35:02
  about money at the end of the day it's about not going to cross everything yes we're having a rich
• 35:07
  life and being rich is emotional it's physical it's mental it is financial but it's social it's how
• 35:17
  you approach your every single day life a big thank you to indeed for supporting success story
• 35:22
  because hiring people is one of the hardest things you're ever going to do as an entrepreneur
• 35:27
  as a founder as somebody is trying to build a business because it's important to hire well
• 35:32
  it's important to hire and find the right person but it takes so much time it's so labor intensive
• 35:38
  because like most entrepreneurs you have a thousand things going on and there's a good chance that
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  you just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday how can you find that great
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• 36:03
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• 36:18
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  on this podcast indeed dot com slash clary terms of conditions apply if you're hiring indeed is
• 36:58
  all you need but people have a hard time focusing on all the other versions of rich when they're not
• 37:03
  even making enough money because they're so stressed out about paying next month rent I mean it's
• 37:08
  interesting why financial content does so well because like I know why it does well people are stressed
• 37:15
  out they're not making enough money they feel like they can't afford to live cost of living improves
• 37:19
  cost of living increases but even with all the financial content I feel like people aren't taking
• 37:26
  that financial content and actually implementing it into their lives I mean for example
• 37:34
  your first piece of content what it got it got like how many followers did it get you that first
• 37:38
  piece of like a hundred thousand followers so obviously there's a niche for yeah but when you
• 37:45
  because now you have a whole bunch of fans and I'm sure you talk to some of them and some of them
• 37:49
  give feedback and I'm sure some of them have taken the advice and ran with it but there's a whole
• 37:53
  bunch that have not taken the advice and not done anything and they just consume why do you think
• 37:58
  that is I think comfort with the status quo and fear of change is a big one like it's easier to be
• 38:08
  slightly uncomfortable always feeling like you're living paycheck to paycheck then it is to put
• 38:13
  yourself in a place of discomfort for six months to pick up a side hustle it requires you to do
• 38:17
  something new or different and people don't like change but I will challenge and say that
• 38:27
  it depends on the piece of content I think people are in my audience at least very very willing
• 38:35
  to try something I think certain pieces of content still feel a little out of reach so if I'm
• 38:45
  talking about you know these are ways that you can save on when you're buying a home some people
• 38:50
  that's just out of reach for some people right now and that's okay not every piece of content has
• 38:54
  to be for every BFF but for the simple stuff I do think people take huge advantage and they're
• 39:00
  trying to implement implement it in their daily life I think something that people also struggle
• 39:04
  with is actually being able to discern who on the internet is qualified and has the credentials
• 39:10
  to be talking about this versus who's just selling snake oil because there are a lot of
• 39:16
  financial gurus out there who don't actually have any qualifications they don't have a finance
• 39:22
  background they're just good marketers they just know how to make a hook on Instagram welcome to
• 39:27
  the internet welcome to the internet but like so if I'm my content is literally slotted directly
• 39:33
  after that person's they're looking at that video and then they watch mine they may be fearful of
• 39:39
  taking action on the helpful tip that I've shared because they don't know if they can trust
• 39:45
  what I'm saying because maybe the person before me was unscrupulous I agree that I mean
• 39:50
  but like finance education through traditional means is locking I mean you don't get financial
• 39:56
  education in high school and university and college the way that you should so the answer is
• 40:02
  independent content creators but I truly do believe and this is something that I just feel I would
• 40:10
  probably have to pull an audience did really get some feedback on it but I feel like we are in this
• 40:15
  era of people trying to just consume consume consume and not take action and I think that that's
• 40:20
  what I'm trying to actively fight against but to your point it's how do you discern who's who's
• 40:24
  legit who's not what information is credible what information is not so when somebody's going
• 40:29
  on this finance journey that's a great that's a great question that they would be asking like how
• 40:34
  do I figure out where to start how do I figure out where to start getting rich building wealth
• 40:39
  who do I listen to outside of outside of you like what are the first steps that I should take that
• 40:45
  that aren't too risky that at least it's sort of get me going in the right direction because there's
• 40:50
  so many concepts around wealth building and making more money again it could seem like drinking from
• 40:55
  the fire hose and then there's a compounded problem of not being even able to trust the person
• 40:59
  that you're listening to so where does that person start if they want to get rich and be wealthy
• 41:04
  yeah I always tell people that if people want to get rich they should strip and then they're like oh
• 41:10
  didn't realize is this kind of a podcast um but strip is an acronym it's just kind of a really
• 41:16
  easy five step method of like how to get yourself into a really like stable place that you can
• 41:21
  really start making some impacts in your life so first and foremost s is savings you want to have
• 41:27
  an emergency fund in your savings um I would put it into a high yield savings account so you want three
• 41:33
  to six months of living expenses set aside for this rainy day fund this emergency fund um and this
• 41:38
  is going to help prevent you from going into further financial duress in case something happens you
• 41:44
  break your leg the wheel rolls off your car your roof caves in something that happens then once you
• 41:50
  have that emergency fund set up in a high yield savings account we're earning more interest you move
• 41:55
  on to T total debt and the reason it's a T is because people who pay down their debt will just pay
• 42:01
  it down willy nilly and that is mathematically not the right way to do it so what you actually want
• 42:07
  to do is rank your total debt from highest to lowest interest rate make the minimum payment across
• 42:12
  everything to keep your credit score and good standing and then any additional pay down funds
• 42:17
  you're actually going to put towards the debt with the highest interest rate typically credit cards
• 42:22
  so um this is going to help you pay your debt off faster while paying less and fees
• 42:28
  and this is the mathematically correct way to pay down debt or retirement we talked about this
• 42:34
  earlier you got to have a plan for future you and so I encourage people to take advantage of tax
• 42:41
  benefits um legislators write the tax code and the IRS enforces it and the way that the tax code
• 42:48
  is written incentivizes us to do things that they want us to do and disincentivizes us to do things
• 42:53
  that they don't want us to do so an incentive they want is for us to say for retirement and invest
• 42:58
  for retirement because the government does not want to take care of you in your old age they want
• 43:02
  you to take care of you so you're going to get tax benefits by tapping into an employer sponsored
• 43:07
  retirement plan like a 401k for a 3B TSP if you're in Canada RRSP so many letters and they all
• 43:14
  totally make sense right but also tapping into things like a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA those
• 43:22
  stand for individual retirement account um you want to be able to leverage tax advantage accounts
• 43:29
  like a 529 if you want to help save for your kios education um there's lots of options but
• 43:36
  it's not enough to just open these accounts you actually have to fund it with cash and then I
• 43:42
  invest so people always say what's the perfect investment there's no such thing okay when I
• 43:48
  worked on Wall Street hedge funds would call us regularly and being like yeah we made a couple
• 43:52
  of bad calls we got to unwind all of our trades were blowing up if these people who have very
• 43:59
  literally billions of dollars of technology and research at their fingertips can't seem to get
• 44:03
  it right what makes you think 15 minutes on Yahoo Finance is going to help you get there
• 44:07
  you're not what I say is invest in a diversified portfolio of index funds that track the broader
• 44:15
  market so instead of buying an entire bag of all-manjoy candy bars you're getting the Halloween
• 44:21
  bag which is Kit Katz Twix all-manjoy Snickers you know what have you so you're getting a little bit
• 44:26
  of everything that's going to really help diversify your portfolio and if you're listening to this
• 44:32
  and you're like well that was still gibberish just utilize something called a robot visor
• 44:37
  you sign up for the account and you take a quick quiz about your money goals so what you have
• 44:41
  what you earn how old you are what your family looks like where you live when you want to retire
• 44:47
  and then it spits out a diversified portfolio that makes sense based on your financial situation
• 44:52
  and then they email you once or twice I would say probably once every one year or two years
• 44:59
  to retake the quiz so then if you've made a lot more money or something has happened or you
• 45:04
  got divorced risk tolerance correct is all that it'll be balanced your portfolio for you
• 45:09
  and then last but not least is P everybody's favorite plan you have to have a plan of what
• 45:15
  you're happily ever after looks like some people's happily ever after is I retire at 35 I live in
• 45:21
  an air stream I never wear shoes again not me not me I would rather retire at a more traditional
• 45:28
  age 60 65 but I better have a vacation home I better still be able to go on vacation I better
• 45:34
  still be able to go and travel I better be able to take care of pickles my fat English bulldogs
• 45:40
  like heartworm medication like I want to be able to have certain things in my life and I don't
• 45:45
  want to have to worry about money and if that's the case like you need to know what's that what's
• 45:50
  not gonna cost because retirement number one in the air stream and retirement in your vacation
• 45:55
  home look very very different so I know you have a number so your number is 25 million yeah that's
• 46:01
  my FU number that's your FU number okay yeah obviously that's for and you know what though I've
• 46:06
  thought about this because I was again I'm listening to the podcast that you've been on before and
• 46:10
  I was thinking about that number and it's an FU number if you had it now because there's ways you
• 46:16
  can make that money last but when you're like 65 that's like it's an FU number then but ultimately I
• 46:24
  mean if you made that over years and you were taxed on it and then you invest it like it's
• 46:31
  it's it's a lot of money but it's still the cost of living has been to increase too yeah
• 46:36
  so that 25 million at 65 may afford you a very comfortable last few years of your life but I
• 46:42
  mean you still have to understand how to invest it strategically so you don't just blow through
• 46:45
  it either because you can still F that up I mean people F that up all the time and the the best
• 46:53
  examples that we see are athletes who get these huge sums of money then they're going bankrupt
• 46:59
  by the time they're 30 so it's really easy to fuck this up if you don't know what you're doing
• 47:03
  so first of all why is 25 million your number because I know that you're very strategic and you
• 47:07
  done some some math around why that's your number and also how should someone else calculate
• 47:14
  their number like what's the what's the mechanics obviously you don't know someone else's life
• 47:18
  but what's the thought process that you went through the somebody else can use yeah so my FU
• 47:22
  number is 25 million dollars because 25 million dollars invested earning a very conservative 4% return
• 47:28
  every single year would give me about a million bucks in returns and even after paying capital gains
• 47:37
  taxes on that I would still be able to fund my lifestyle fund my homes fund my travel fund any
• 47:45
  sort of expenses and frankly probably still be able to even help out my kid if I needed to
• 47:50
  um that's what it would take for me to have a very comfortable very comfortable average life
• 47:58
  this does not get you the private jet this does not get you the yacht this does not get you living
• 48:03
  in this is a million a year a month ago a million a year and then if you if you took a
• 48:07
  four you'd still have to pay capital gains on that so yeah okay so you pick capital gains on that
• 48:11
  you pick capital gains so you're roughly ending up with about 850 850 and then I mean if you had a
• 48:16
  two person household and you had life three or four kids going to private school like I'm not saying
• 48:20
  three or four are you crazy yeah one to two don't put that juju on me I'm just saying yeah that money
• 48:28
  goes quick it does money goes very very quick so you can have an FU number like 25 million but you
• 48:33
  still have to have a it's a very but that's also my baseline yes my baseline FU obviously frankly
• 48:40
  I haven't even really thought too much about like what's my top top end of it but like I would say
• 48:47
  a hundred million dollars like I would not work anymore ever I want to take a second and thank
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  Ranger over sports for supporting today's episode now let's talk about tools that match your
• 48:56
  ambition that match the ambition of everybody who's listening today who has taken risks who is
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  upleveled their personal professional development who's tried to build their own thing everybody
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• 49:12
  you're taking on it finally starts to take off there is like this rush of excitement and
• 49:18
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  configure your Ranger over sport today that was my question would you stop working if you had 25
• 50:27
  million in the bank no I'll be honest with you even at 100 million I don't think I'd probably stop
• 50:31
  worries for a different reason I would not stop working because I think it would make my mind turn
• 50:35
  to mush and also because I find a lot of joy and productivity and doing something and building
• 50:42
  something I think in my happiest fantasies of fantasies like I build your hbf up enough to become
• 50:51
  a standalone business that can run with or without me but then I get to do something else
• 50:56
  I get to build something else I get to you know help the world more and do something different
• 51:02
  and still get to make money while doing it so like I don't know if I'll ever stop working like even
• 51:07
  in retirement it won't be this it won't be working 60 80 hours a week I'll be sitting on some
• 51:15
  philanthropic board but I still like to do something because I think people think sitting on a beach
• 51:25
  somewhere for the rest of your life is the dream it gets very old very quickly and I've heard from
• 51:31
  founders who've literally founded unicorn companies and they're like yeah after I sold it
• 51:39
  I went back to work the next day and I was like what is wrong with you and they were like dude like
• 51:43
  we took like a vacation and like that was cool but like I was itching to get back and I was like
• 51:50
  is that really what it's like and she's like you'd be like that too and I thought about it and
• 51:55
  she was right and so it makes me laugh but I don't know if I'll ever stop working I think that that's
• 52:00
  why I think that this is why conversations about wealth building are so important because then
• 52:04
  you can start to build wealth and you can understand like what are you actually optimizing for what do
• 52:07
  you actually want your life to look like because a person who wants to retire at 65 is a person
• 52:14
  has hated their job from 20 to 65 and takes two to three weeks of vacation per year and can't stand
• 52:20
  the reality and they want to escape it so the whole goal of investing and having an FU number and
• 52:26
  you should tell me how you came to that FU number but getting that FU number and creating wealth
• 52:31
  and not just making more money it's about architecting a life that you don't want to escape from
• 52:36
  that's where I think I wish more people would focus on because the second you start making money
• 52:41
  you realize you actually don't have to make that much to live the life that you only ever dreamed about
• 52:46
  like it doesn't take a billion dollars to have a private chef or to go on the most lavish vacations
• 52:52
  that you've ever thought of or even live in the house that you want to live in maybe outside of
• 52:57
  like New York but like yeah in New York you really got to start dreaming and New York you got to dream
• 53:01
  but I think that I think that that's there's such a huge gap between people's reality and
• 53:08
  and what life can actually be like if you start to sort of deploy these principles yeah and
• 53:13
  to back to your point of like how do you calculate your FU number it's you close your eyes and you
• 53:19
  imagine your perfect year you live in the house you want to live in you drive a car you want to drive
• 53:23
  you go on as many vacations as you want to go on you can buy the stuff you want maybe you are helping
• 53:28
  your kids maybe you have a pet maybe you don't what is your day to day everything look like
• 53:34
  and then you work backwards and think about what would something like that cost for one year
• 53:40
  then you divide that number by 0.04 and for my friends who are not good at math you should get a
• 53:47
  bigger number 0.04 represents a 4% investment return which is incredibly conservative right now
• 53:55
  there are high yield savings accounts earning you more than that that are FDIC insured so you can
• 54:01
  essentially back into the number that you would need to have this number that you'll get after you
• 54:06
  take your annual number divided by 0.04 is how much money you'd need to have invested earning you
• 54:14
  basically your annual sum so that you could get there and retire comfortably and now this is
• 54:23
  very different than like the fire movement very different very different so I think the fire
• 54:28
  movements Iki first explain what it is yeah because I found it on Reddit I think that's where it
• 54:33
  lives but why do you why do you find the fire movement Iki so financial independence retire early
• 54:39
  is the fire movement and why bothers me is because people are making such stupid extreme measures
• 54:50
  to cost cut in their life to make this happen that I'm like yo maybe maybe we don't have to
• 54:57
  steal all of the ketchup packets from the concession sand maybe we don't have to you know share
• 55:04
  the same q-tip with our partner like it's like extreme cheap skates gone wrong that wasn't the
• 55:09
  goal of it though originally it was it was to have a number and to retire early number yeah but
• 55:15
  it's become like a joke like people are just like doing the craziest things to save money that they
• 55:19
  don't need to be doing and frankly are not making that big of a difference ultimately for me what
• 55:25
  bothers me is the fire movement almost feels like a pyramid scheme because the people who are touting
• 55:30
  the fire movement they're like find what I've hit financial independence I've retired early you can
• 55:36
  do it too by my course to learn how to fire appropriately no no no no if you actually hit financial
• 55:43
  independence and retired early you wouldn't be working you just have a different job now instead of
• 55:48
  your regular job you are now selling courses you are a digital media creator no shade that's what I
• 55:53
  do for living I don't sell courses but like no shade but you didn't retire early you still have a
• 55:59
  job it's just a different job and now you're trying to trick people into thinking that they'll hit this
• 56:04
  fire situation and then they'll be able to retire early but then they'll just be stuck selling
• 56:08
  courses just like you you're trying to hit your fire number by by doing this oh that's so stupid
• 56:14
  that's so stupid I didn't know that's what it turned into um okay so for people again just one
• 56:20
  one last thought on this financial advice and people online how do you discern who to listen to
• 56:26
  and who not to listen to I say anybody that gives you a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach run
• 56:31
  but too if you hear a piece of advice or a tip or a hack or anything that you're like I wonder if
• 56:37
  this is real Google exists just search it and then if there's reputable sources like the Wall Street
• 56:45
  Journal Bloomberg Financial Times New York Times would have like all these reputable sources are
• 56:51
  saying this is true investipedia can corroborate with what this person is saying then you'll actually
• 56:58
  recognize that there may be something to dive into and research more about here but if there is
• 57:03
  one guy being like you need to buy my ass coin and like it's gonna make you rich if you google
• 57:11
  the odds are good there are just a bunch of threads making fun of this person if you cannot find
• 57:17
  someone to corroborate someone from a reputable source to corroborate what you're hearing then
• 57:23
  it's probably not legitimate I even say this regularly I am not inventing personal finance
• 57:28
  nothing I'm teaching is net new information however what is net new is the delivery for so long
• 57:35
  learning about finance has been so boring and I am so grateful that like through the social media
• 57:40
  era we've democratized financial education to a way that people actually find it interesting
• 57:45
  enough to pay attention but simultaneously you have to know because it's not net new information
• 57:53
  you should be able to find it somewhere else I love that advice you have a 25 million dollar goal
• 58:00
  if you were going to think about the strategy to get there because this is going to be strategy
• 58:03
  that's applicable to anybody do you try and earn more do you try and make it through investment
• 58:08
  like how do you get to that 25 million dollar goal like I mean you have your the 25 million dollar
• 58:13
  goal is the same as if you have a 25 thousand dollar goal yeah you maximize how much you earn you
• 58:19
  spend as little as you need to to live not ridiculously we are not canceling our Netflix subscriptions
• 58:25
  you don't have to do that I'm just saying spend as little as possible to live the life that you want
• 58:31
  that makes you happy that is the key not as little as possible period as little as possible to live a
• 58:37
  life that makes you happy that may not include 10 designer bags a year it may include one but you need
• 58:46
  to know what makes you happy so spend as little as you can to have the happiest life possible
• 58:50
  and invest the difference people are so surprised that because I make a lot more money than I did
• 58:57
  three years ago my I haven't already upgraded my apartment I am happy in my apartment I don't need
• 59:05
  to upgrade it all of those dollars that I would have spent on that lifestyle inflation of getting
• 59:10
  a fancier apartment I'm investing anytime I tell you to invest trust me I'm already doing it I am
• 59:17
  investing I have money in public investments I have money in private investments every dollar that
• 59:23
  I am not using and that is not in my savings account as an emergency fund I am investing when you
• 59:28
  think about the one thing you also have spoken about we haven't really gone into it yet but relationships
• 59:34
  and money so obviously money is very important in relationships and you have I don't think I don't
• 59:41
  think I don't think they are incorrect views on it but I don't think they're views that everybody
• 59:46
  holds that you speak about money as soon as you start dating somebody you set all these sort of like
• 59:51
  you put all these topics out there in the open so what are the biggest what are the biggest
• 59:56
  things that people do not discuss when it comes to money finances in the relationship they should
• 1:00:02
  be discussing earlier are we talking everything from how much we both made to our investment portfolio
• 1:00:07
  to our prenup to our where we want to send our kids to schools at all of it yeah it's all of it so
• 1:00:12
  it's crazy to me that nearly half of all couples don't actually broach the money conversation
• 1:00:17
  until they're already engaged is that true you've looked into the data on this that's wild engaged
• 1:00:23
  that's wild bro if you are breaking up after the engagement there is going to have to be some
• 1:00:28
  serious social media scrubbing that's embarrassing I know whereas if you had these conversations
• 1:00:33
  earlier you probably don't even have to scrub this person like you can just hide them but my thing
• 1:00:39
  about this is sex and money constantly rank as the number one and two reason depending who's doing
• 1:00:45
  the research of why couples fight imagine if you could dramatically reduce the number of arguments
• 1:00:52
  you're having with your partner just because you've been honest and open and that line of communication
• 1:00:57
  has been there from the start do you know how much heartic that would save you I feel so grateful
• 1:01:04
  my husband and I we fight probably once every two years I can count on one hand the number of
• 1:01:11
  true fights that we've ever had I mean we're like an old Mary couple so we bicker and I'm like can
• 1:01:17
  you pass me this but whatever but like true fights where we have differing views on something
• 1:01:24
  it's probably once every year or two and that makes the other 364 days really easy did you speak
• 1:01:33
  about money and finally very early because we had to so when we first started dating
• 1:01:38
  I was living with my girl roommate and about a month in we had lived together well so we moved
• 1:01:44
  into a new apartment um not to be creepy but it was a block down from where he lived um I wasn't
• 1:01:49
  stalking him I just liked that neighborhood um but we moved into this apartment and the first
• 1:01:57
  weekend I was actually away I was at alumni weekend in Chicago and I get a call from my girlfriend
• 1:02:04
  and she's like hey when you're back we like need to have a talk and I'm like I'm a millennial don't do
• 1:02:08
  that what what's going on she's like no no it's like I was like are you mad at me like what's going
• 1:02:12
  on she's like it's not anything like that please like just when you come back let's talk I'm like
• 1:02:16
  okay just ruin my weekend I know 100% the anxiety yeah so I come back and she sits me down she's
• 1:02:21
  like okay so the first night I was sleeping here I was playing on my phone just like looking at videos
• 1:02:26
  whatever and it was like roughly midnight and so I put my phone down and she's like I went to the
• 1:02:31
  bathroom before going to bed and I went to the bathroom and I flipped on the lights and I saw
• 1:02:37
  a thousand little things scurry away as someone who was absolutely terrified of bugs that was
• 1:02:44
  possibly the worst nightmare scenario of what she could have said to me I would have rather
• 1:02:49
  her been like oh I stole your favorite top and threw up all over it like roaches no I don't want that
• 1:02:56
  and I had to move in with my then he wasn't even my boyfriend like I had just been seeing this guy
• 1:03:05
  for a month and I was so down bad I was like can I move into your apartment for like a short term
• 1:03:11
  period of time while I go find another apartment yeah and he said yes and I'd been living there for
• 1:03:18
  a couple weeks and I was like I just like need to let you know that like this is how much I make
• 1:03:25
  I'm spending this on my rent across the street I can't afford to pay you or your roommate or
• 1:03:33
  like split any part of this rent so I was like I have to get financially naked with you do because like
• 1:03:39
  I can't afford to pay for any of this and he said that's okay don't worry about it and he was like
• 1:03:48
  you know transparently like I make more than you this is what I make so I'm not that worried about it
• 1:03:55
  and wow what a weight off my shoulders because one now I have more information I know that I'm
• 1:04:04
  not putting him out but too he didn't need the money and I didn't need to contribute to that
• 1:04:11
  ultimately we were able to find a new apartment got my stuff out of that roach motel
• 1:04:18
  but like that horrible conversation that came from a horrible situation ended up setting our
• 1:04:26
  relationship off on the best possible and strongest foundation when two people who had only
• 1:04:32
  been dating for like a month and a half got fully financially naked about their incomes it made
• 1:04:38
  every other conversation so much easier than that because you know who that person is you know who
• 1:04:43
  they are yeah we've been so vulnerable with each other that when ultimately he and I moved in
• 1:04:48
  together again I had to be like you know what I make I know what you make you know that I can't
• 1:04:55
  afford to go 50 50 on this rent and he said well I'm not living in a shittier apartment so I will
• 1:05:01
  just pay more and I said are you okay with that he said it's no problem and I feel so grateful
• 1:05:10
  because for the first five years of our relationship he made meaningfully more than I did like some
• 1:05:14
  years two three X and obviously it worked out that guy had been dating for a month is now my
• 1:05:21
  partner of seven years we got married like he never made me feel less than for making less than
• 1:05:29
  and he always was so generous and kind he never held it as like a tit for tat or like something
• 1:05:36
  to bring up during arguments he never did that and these days I am lucky and that I make two to
• 1:05:44
  three X what he makes and I pick up way more of our expenses now I pay for vacations I pay for stuff
• 1:05:53
  because I know if the roles were reversed I very literally know if the roles were reversed he would
• 1:05:59
  pick up my slack you know what talking about finance does is I think it just shows you the kind
• 1:06:04
  of person that you're with yeah and that's you money does not does not make or break a person
• 1:06:10
  it just magnifies who you originally were to start if you were someone who was a bad person
• 1:06:16
  adding money makes you worse if you were a great person adding money makes you better and when
• 1:06:21
  that person knows how much money you're making you're going to see exactly what kind of person
• 1:06:25
  they are correct and that's how you actually figure out okay it's going to be a good husband is
• 1:06:30
  going to be a good parent to our children if we have children like all of that you can start to see
• 1:06:35
  more clearly and all of those traits that that person has with money and you are traits that they're
• 1:06:42
  going to have to every other aspect of their life I mean the one dating rule is like the guy who's
• 1:06:48
  not nice to the waiter is not nice period the guy who is not mindful about your finances and
• 1:06:55
  wants you to be in a comfortable healthy spot doesn't care about you period not just not about
• 1:07:00
  your money he doesn't care about you period and I'm so grateful that I found a partner that those
• 1:07:06
  traits his relationship with money has been entirely reflective of his relationship with me that
• 1:07:12
  generosity that kindness that conscientiousness and those are traits that I hope that we pass
• 1:07:16
  on to our kids yeah well if you have it in the house you will and did you have conversations about
• 1:07:22
  prenups and all of that yeah we had a real conversation because I was like listen like
• 1:07:26
  you are more than fair to me I think I've been more than fair to you let's be more than fair to
• 1:07:31
  each other in drafting a document to make sure that our assets are divvied up exactly how we want
• 1:07:37
  them to we're 50 50 going in 50 50 coming out only carve out is my business because why would any
• 1:07:44
  agent manager or attorney ever sign me again if something happened in our relationship and
• 1:07:50
  my ex-husband own half of my brand that's crazy when you when you think about the the biggest
• 1:07:57
  mistakes that people make about money not just in a relationship just in general what would be
• 1:08:03
  the sort of like the one lesson that you would want to leave people with that money's the most
• 1:08:07
  important thing people think it is it's not your most important thing is your time
• 1:08:12
  and the more money I have the less I value it I think when I was in my early 20s money to me was
• 1:08:23
  like a marker of success and it was also the thing that I needed desperately but ultimately you
• 1:08:32
  can always make more money you can't get your time back and now these days I the biggest luxury
• 1:08:39
  that I can afford myself is convenience and time so people are always like oh Vivian for a for
• 1:08:46
  a finance expert your door dash bill seems a little high every single month I'm like my door
• 1:08:51
  dash bill is high but you know what that means that means instead of having to have placed in order
• 1:08:57
  walked the restaurant to get it come back and have wasted an hour I can continue to work through
• 1:09:03
  that hour and when the food arrives I eat it and that provides me a level of convenience but it
• 1:09:09
  also buys back that hour of my time and I promise you my door dash hour is not worth my hourly rate
• 1:09:14
  when should people because I agree with you completely time is the most valuable but there has to
• 1:09:18
  be a point where you are still you are still more conscientious about where you spend your money so
• 1:09:24
  on somebody's wealth journey and somebody's executing strip and they're doing all the right things
• 1:09:30
  when should they start to buy back some of their time what's that what's that tipping point
• 1:09:35
  when that value of that time is not worth what you'd have made in terms of dollars so when I
• 1:09:45
  wasn't in turn my sophomore year summer I made 18 dollars an hour my time was worth 18 dollars an
• 1:09:53
  hour and not even because I had to pay tax on that now my my hour is worth hundreds of dollars
• 1:10:02
  and so yeah when I was making 18 dollars an hour maybe my door dash order of 34 dollars
• 1:10:09
  was not actually worth it I should have just gone and picked it up I should have just
• 1:10:15
  made the food myself but now 34 dollars is a lot less than what I can make an hour
• 1:10:22
  and I need to be mindful of that you always have to weigh the numbers and I also think that you
• 1:10:28
  have to think about what you are abundant of and what you have little of so like in certain cases
• 1:10:37
  you are very very abundant in youth and time and you are very very poor in cash you need to
• 1:10:45
  prioritize the thing that you are have less of whereas at a certain point you know you are very very
• 1:10:50
  abundant in cash and you want to spend more time with your kids you want to sit down for a date
• 1:10:57
  night with your partner you want to do all these things at a certain point you're going to realize
• 1:11:02
  that there's a number that you would be willing to spend on that hour to buy it back and once you
• 1:11:09
  hit that point you got to start trading it's interesting because I think that people do that in their
• 1:11:14
  businesses they build systems and they build processes and then they hire but they don't do that
• 1:11:19
  in their personal life which is very interesting to me you can hire 100 employees but you're still
• 1:11:24
  you're still going to the store to pick up your own food for whatever reason or you're doing the
• 1:11:29
  most you're doing the most remedial tasks yourself so I think that this is just another piece of
• 1:11:33
  just like trying to optimize your time in your life so that yeah so that you can focus on the things
• 1:11:39
  that matter and I think that also you have to know what those things are like your family like time
• 1:11:44
  with your kids whatever because again if you don't know what those things are and you don't
• 1:11:48
  place value on them then you're going to find ways to take your day you know your day will take
• 1:11:52
  a be taken up with other stuff um where do you want to send people to find more of your content
• 1:11:59
  consume more of you you have a second season for podcast coming out as well so give all the links
• 1:12:03
  I'll put them in the show notes too but amazing okay so everyone uh you can find me as your rich
• 1:12:08
  bff across social media season two of my podcast net worth and chill just launched well I guess
• 1:12:15
  it probably won't have just launched by the time this episode comes out but um it is a great
• 1:12:20
  opportunity for you to listen to celebrities founders um experts talk about uh the money mistakes
• 1:12:27
  that they have made I'm going in deep I'm asking for numbers I'm asking people to get
• 1:12:31
  uncomfortable we're getting financially naked um so if you want to listen to net worth and chill
• 1:12:36
  please do that wherever you listen to podcasts and if you want to grab a copy of my New York Times
• 1:12:40
  bestselling book rich af you can get it wherever books are sold the last question I always like
• 1:12:44
  to ask I mean you've had a great career obviously multiple seasons to that career so you look back
• 1:12:49
  and you're not that old so like I mean this question is usually for older people but you look back
• 1:12:54
  you could tell your 20 year old self one thing what would that thing be yeah so 20 year old me was 10
• 1:12:59
  years ago um the advice that I would give her is that she shouldn't be so desperate and insecure
• 1:13:11
  because I have found a whole new sense of self confidence now being in my 30s that I didn't
• 1:13:19
  have in my 20s um in my 20s I was spending money I didn't have on stuff that I didn't need to
• 1:13:26
  impress people I didn't even like and I wanted so badly to fit in I wanted to be a cool girl I
• 1:13:32
  wanted to be like the hot girl with the New York Wall Street job that like all of the the incremental
• 1:13:39
  thing that I kept trying to buy to get me there never got me there you know what got me like that
• 1:13:46
  true confidence knowing that I had a savings account that could bail me out of trouble oh by the
• 1:13:52
  way I did get into trouble wrote hotel the confidence came from becoming one of the top performers
• 1:14:01
  at my media job having my face plastered on the scoreboard as the rainmaker that gave me confidence
• 1:14:12
  I got confidence from starting something that I built with my cell phone and my shaky hand
• 1:14:18
  turn into a seven figure business back gave me confidence and I think about all of the
• 1:14:27
  I don't even want to say dehumanizing but like all of the really really demoralizing moments that
• 1:14:34
  I experienced in my early 20s of the me just being an idiot responding to you up text
• 1:14:41
  planning after people and opportunities that did not want me back trying to impress a boss that
• 1:14:46
  was never going to like me I would never do any of that shit now I know my worth I know who I am
• 1:14:55
  and I think a lot of us could benefit from literally a 30 minute coffee with us in 10 years
• 1:15:04
  because there are so many moments where I just want to be like don't you realize that you're
• 1:15:12
  the prize you are the prize do not let anyone else make you feel less than for being who you are
• 1:15:20
  and make sure that you have set up a solid foundation around you that's going to protect you
• 1:15:27
  through thick and thin and over the time over the years you'll get the hang of it