Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor Who Has the Job You Want Next
Transcript
- Lucas: Let me start with a specific scenario. Say you're a senior brand manager at a mid-size consumer goods company, and your goal is to become VP of Brand within the next three years. You've done the work, you've got the results, but you've never actually run a full brand P&L. Who do you need as a mentor right now? Luna: Not just any mentor. You need someone who has that VP of Brand title — ideally at a similar company — and is willing to walk you through the specifics of how they got there. Lucas: Exactly. And that's what we're talking about today. Most mentorship advice is about finding someone senior who can give general career guidance. That's valuable. But there's a particular kind of mentor that's much more targeted: someone who has the job you want next. Not your boss's boss, not a retired executive — someone currently sitting in the chair you're aiming for. Luna: And the challenge is, these people are busy. They're at the top of their game. Why would they make time for you? Lucas: Right. So the approach has to be thoughtful. Let me walk through how one person I know did it. Her name is Priya — she was a senior marketing manager at a large food and beverage company. She wanted to move into a director role overseeing a specific category. She identified six people within her company who held that director title in different categories. She studied their career paths, their public profiles, and their published work. Then she reached out to three of them. Luna: Three out of six — so she was selective. How did she choose which three? Lucas: She looked for two things. First, someone whose career trajectory mirrored what she wanted — maybe they had moved from marketing manager to director within the same company, so they understood the internal politics. Second, someone who was active in mentoring, even informally. She could tell from LinkedIn recommendations and internal chatter that they had a reputation for developing talent. Luna: So she did her homework before making the ask. That's key. Lucas: Critical. Her outreach was specific. She didn't say 'would you be my mentor?' — that's too vague and puts the burden on them. She said something like, 'I've been following your work on the beverage category turnaround, and I'm aiming for a director role in the next two years. Could I buy you coffee for thirty minutes to hear how you navigated the transition from manager to director?' Luna: That's a much easier yes. You're asking for a one-time conversation, not a long-term commitment. And you're showing you've done your research. Lucas: Two of the three said yes. She had the conversations, and after each one, she sent a thank-you note with one specific thing she learned and one action she was going to take. That's important — it shows you're actually going to use their advice. About a month later, she followed up with a brief update on how that action went. That's what turns a one-off conversation into an ongoing mentorship. Luna: So the follow-up is what makes it stick. Without that, you're just collecting coffee meetings. Lucas: Exactly. She kept one of those two as a regular mentor — they met quarterly for about eighteen months. And when a director role opened up, that mentor advocated for her internally. She got the job. Luna: That's the ideal outcome. But what about people who don't have internal options? Say you're in a startup with no clear ladder, or you're looking to move to a different industry entirely. Lucas: Then you look externally. LinkedIn is the obvious tool, but the key is to filter by current title and industry. You want people who are one or two levels above where you want to be — not the CEO, not someone three levels up. And you want to find a connection point. Maybe you went to the same school, worked at the same company, or share a common interest. Use that in your outreach. Luna: And conferences. I've seen people build mentor relationships from a single conversation at a conference — you meet someone, you exchange cards, you follow up a week later referencing something specific from your chat. Lucas: Conferences are underrated for this because everyone is there to network. They're expecting to meet people. The follow-up is what separates you from the hundreds of business cards they collected. Luna: One thing I want to flag: the ask itself matters a lot. I've seen people ruin a potential mentorship by coming across as entitled — 'I want your job, tell me how to get it' — versus humble and curious, like Priya's approach. Lucas: Huge difference. The framing should be about learning from their experience, not asking them to hand you their job. And you have to respect that they might say no. In fact, Priya got a no from the third person she reached out to. That person said they were too stretched. She thanked them for their honesty and moved on. Luna: And that's fine. Not everyone has the bandwidth or inclination. You don't need everyone to say yes — you just need one or two strong relationships. Lucas: Exactly. So the process is: identify a short list of target mentors, do your research, reach out with a specific and low-friction ask, make the most of the initial conversation, follow up with gratitude and action, and then nurture the relationship over time. That's the framework. Luna: Let's talk about the conversation itself. What should you actually ask in that first meeting? Lucas: I'd suggest three types of questions. First, about their career path: 'What were the key turning points that got you to this role?' Second, about the role itself: 'What's the most surprising part of this job that people don't see from the outside?' Third, about advice specific to you: 'Given my background, what do you think would be the most important gap for me to close to be ready for a role like yours?' Luna: Those are great. The third one is especially smart because it turns the conversation into something actionable for you. Lucas: And it shows you're self-aware. You're not asking for a roadmap — you're asking them to help you identify blind spots. People love giving that kind of advice because it makes them feel like a real mentor. Luna: One thing I've wondered: how do you handle the dynamic when your potential mentor is in the same company but a different department? There might be some competition or politics. Lucas: That's a great point. In that case, you need to be transparent about boundaries. You can say upfront: 'I want to learn from your experience, but I don't want to put you in an awkward position regarding internal politics. Please feel free to keep things general or decline to answer anything that feels sensitive.' That honesty builds trust. Luna: And if they're in a completely different company, that's actually easier. No political risk. You can be more direct. Lucas: Right. And external mentors can often be more candid because they have no stake in your company's internal dynamics. They can tell you, 'Here's what I think you're missing,' without worrying about offending your boss. Luna: So which is better — internal or external? Lucas: Ideally, both. Internal mentors can advocate for you, help you navigate the organization, and know the specific challenges of your company. External mentors give you a broader perspective and can be more objective. Priya had one internal mentor and one external — the internal one helped her get the promotion, but the external one helped her think about her long-term career strategy. Luna: That makes sense. You want a mix. And speaking of long-term strategy, what happens when you actually get the job you were aiming for? Do you keep the same mentor? Lucas: It depends. Sometimes you outgrow the mentor. If your mentor is a VP and you become a VP, the dynamic shifts. You're now peers in title, even if they have more experience. That's a natural time to transition the relationship into a peer to peer professional friendship. And you might need a new mentor for the next step — maybe a senior VP or a general manager. Luna: So mentorship isn't a lifetime thing. It evolves with your career. Lucas: Exactly. And that's healthy. The best mentors want you to eventually not need them in that specific capacity. They want you to grow beyond the role they helped you reach. Luna: That's a satisfying note. Before we wrap, I want to come back to something you said earlier about the follow-up being what makes it stick. Can you give us an example of a good follow-up? Lucas: Sure. After your initial conversation, within 24 hours, send a brief email or LinkedIn message. Thank them again for their time. Mention one specific piece of advice you found most valuable. Then, in that same message, say: 'I'm going to work on. I'll let you know how it goes.' Then, within a few weeks, actually follow up with a short update on what happened. That second follow-up is what separates you from 90 percent of the people they meet. Luna: It shows you're serious. And it makes you memorable. That's when they start thinking of you as a protégé rather than just another networking contact. Lucas: Exactly. And if you keep doing that — maybe once a quarter — you build a relationship that's based on mutual respect and real progress. That's how you get a mentor who has the job you want next. Luna: I think this is one of the most actionable episodes we've done. People listening can literally start this week — identify two or three people, research them, and send that first message. Lucas: I hope they do. And speaking of actionable, here's a quick honest thing. This podcast is completely listener-supported — no ads, no sponsors. A small group of listeners chip in each month through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's what keeps us making episodes like this one, week after week. Luna: Yeah, it's a pretty straightforward model. If you've gotten something out of the show, and you want to make sure we keep going, that's the way to help. No pressure, but it makes a real difference. Lucas: Alright. So to recap today: find people who have the job you want, do your research, make a specific and low-barrier ask, follow up with action, and nurture the relationship over time. And when you get the job, consider finding a new mentor for the next step. Luna: And if you're listening, we'd love to hear how it goes. Good luck out there.