Latest / Tone It Down / Beating Skinny Culture & Conquering Fitness Slumps with Strength Coach Jacqueline Kasen
Transcript
- 0:00It takes time and effort and consistency and energy to accomplish in all areas of your life the things that you want. This is a long road. Your life is a long road. Thank God it's a long road. So
- 0:14This is your weekly girlfriend chat, the kind that we all crave, where we can show up exactly as we are, laugh until we cry, get honest about the things we're navigating, and all the private girl talk that we need more of. No pressure, no perfection, just real women like us sharing real stories with real connections. Over the years of Tonidab, I've learned that the most transformative moments don't always happen in a workout. They happen in those conversations before and after.
- 0:42when we realize we're all going through something, when we feel seen, and that's what Tone It Down is built on. My intention is simple, to help you tune back into yourself, to quiet the noise and to remind you that you're allowed to evolve. This is Tone It Down.
- 1:05Welcome back to Tone It Down. I'm your friend and host, Karina Dawn. So happy you're here again on this Tone It Down Tuesday. Couple things, let's see. I'm so excited and I have to share this with you because I haven't really shared it much yet, but this entire week, myself and the team are prepping for our upcoming shoot next week.
- 1:28on the island of St. Vincent in the Caribbean, bringing you workouts. This is one of like the largest shoots I've done in quite some times in terms of we're putting together three different programs for your Tone It Up app that will be in there. And it's so exciting. I know you all are always giving feedback. We miss beach workouts. So I was like, you know what?
- 1:52Let me see what we can do here. So that is coming. We're not moving to the Caribbean and living there and filming all the time on the beach. But at least for these workouts, it's going to be a really awesome island vibe. So make sure you are subscribed to the Turned Up app. You don't want to miss all of the things that are coming to your app and including all of the things that are in there. Over a thousand workouts. I don't have to tell you all that. But what else?
- 2:19Oh, this weekend, I'm filming this on a Monday, and then today is Tuesday when it comes out. But this weekend, I decided to start a sub stack. I don't know. I was just home, chilling, hanging with the palms, and felt like writing or kind of just somewhere where I could have something more long form. And, you know, that's not Instagram or everything's very short-form.
- 2:42And then I have the podcast here where we get to share stories and talk to each other. But sometimes I want to talk about something that maybe isn't necessarily what would be on Instagram or other socials. So I'm going to link the sub stack in the show notes, but it's called The Toned Life. And in my first entry there, I'll kind of explain everything that is going to be on the Toned Life sub stack.
- 3:07But yeah, it's really exciting and fun and always like message me with what you want to have in there as well. So that will come out on Thursdays. So Tuesdays, we've got Tone It Down episodes. Thursdays, we have the sub stack of The Toned Life.
- 3:22I'm also doing a recording this week before I go to St. Vincent, a solo episode for Tone It Down. And I want to hear your questions, comments, anything. You know, you can leave me a message if you go to KarinaDawn.com slash message. So make sure you head over there. Any questions, comments, requests, conversations you want to have, anything right over there.
- 3:44All right, and now on to today's guest. You heard her part one. It's Jacqueline Kaysen. She's a trainer in Miami. When I was in Miami recently, I sat down with her, and we had a wonderful conversation. If you missed part one, you want to go back and listen to that too. So in this conversation, Jacqueline and I pick up right where we left off, and this half goes even deeper. We talk through the future of fitness and why she feels genuinely hopeful about the industry is headed. Yeah.
- 4:12The three real things that beat a motivation slump. I get a lot of those questions like, how do I beat a motivation slump? And girl, I'm there with you too sometimes. Today is Monday and I woke up and I was like, I'm in a slump. But I just, I'm very proud of myself, patting myself on the back. I did get up and do my workout.
- 4:30We also go through a live workshop, your why exercise using Jacqueline's Goaltree method. And then we get really personal talking about dating in Miami, my decade of marriage and why every good relationship and every good goal takes real work and the importance of self-accountability when you mess up. Speaking of my 10-year relationship...
- 4:55relationship with Bobby. My 10-year marriage with Bobby. I've been with him for 13 years. It's our 10-year wedding anniversary, and we're celebrating also. So I'm in St. Vincent at Sandals to film for like six days. And then Bobby comes in, and we're celebrating our 10-year anniversary there. And I'm really excited for this. We haven't gone on a vacation together or just anywhere together in quite over a year, maybe more, because...
- 5:24I don't know. We just, our schedules are all over the place. And we do have six dogs. And so finding someone to come take care of them so we both can go somewhere together is tough. Bobby's dad used to take care of the poms all the time. They loved him so much. But anyways.
- 5:41Enough of my rambling on here. I hope you enjoy this episode. And before we dive into this podcast, make sure you click that subscribe button and also share this episode with at least one or two friends that need to hear it. Enjoy.
- 5:57You have trained a lot of pro athletes. Yes. Tell me how that is, training your everyday gal who comes to anatomy and then your pro athletes. Sure. I really love it. Yeah. I love it so much. I actually train the NHL Panthers dance team, back-to-back Stanley Cup champs.
- 6:18and they're young. These girls are young. We have some gentlemen too, but you tell them something and they just adapt right away because they have that goal, whether they're, you know, trying out and auditioning. That's the phase that I'm in right now. Literally, as of today, I have bootcamp this evening. Do you really? So bootcamp, we have finals this week, but, you know, whether it's they're trying to get on the team or they're in season of that sport, whatever the sport may be, it could be NHL,
- 6:48dance and football, whatever, there's a performance aspect. So if they don't dial in their nutrition recovery mindset, because the body follows the mind as we know, and their workouts, they will feel it and their performance will show it the next day.
- 7:08So they're really dialed in and locked in. And that's why it's so important to know your why, because once you understand that why, you won't deter from that goal. You just won't. You'll know. And there's that somebody's birthday and those cupcakes. Like, I know I have that competition, that match, that game, that routine. Like, I just can't. That doesn't mean you can't have the cupcake, right? But there is a time and place of when to do it because you do have to perform. Yeah.
- 7:36It is not so much of the aesthetics. It is performance first. And then aesthetics really comes with it versus gen pop typically is I want to lose weight. I want to get toned. I want to wake up feeling better. Or if they have an orthopedic issue, like getting out of my car without pain, like that's really your typical day to day. It is different.
- 7:58So where do you see the future of fitness? Because we're in the skinny culture right now. Yes. I can't believe we're here again. We're here again. We grew up with it. No, literally, I grew up with mom saying half slim fast and my grandma pointing at Kate Moss on a... Oh, yeah, Calvin Klein. Calvin Klein and my grandma being like, oh, my gosh, the world's on her stomach. I'm like, we're...
- 8:24We're back. I think worse. Yeah, you think? Why do you think it's worse? I think worse because we're seeing people that are unhealthy and then everyone's really complimenting or getting the comments and the likes of, you know, we talked about this body positivity, but it's not body positivity. Body positivity is someone who's out of shape and they're trying to get in shape and we're not...
- 8:55we're not putting them down when they're really trying or be confident in their skin. Like that's not body positivity when they're on the adverse side of things and they're going to have some serious health issues down the road. It might be okay now, but it's really not healthy. How do you think that,
- 9:17this culture or the current situation with that is affecting our youth. I mean, we grew up in it. We were teenagers or younger when all the skinny and the supermodels and all the, you know, all of that was there. And we grew up in that and we like almost made it through with body positivity. And then now, now, but now we're smart enough. We're like, I see what's happening.
- 9:38Right. But what about our kids today? It's so hard. Social media is hard because like you said, it was an advertisement and you walked by it or a magazine. Yeah. But now it's so quick to just doom scroll and you see this, especially with younger kids, and there's less clothing on top of it. Mm-hmm.
- 9:56And it's hard because you see thousands of likes. And even if people want to say something positive, like I'm concerned about them. I hope that they're okay because there are reasons why they're going so extreme either this way or this way. But it is very difficult. But if we can get to a place of opening up a conversation where...
- 10:19whether it's a parent or a teacher, I don't know what's most appropriate or most comfortable. Usually in home is most comfortable. You can have it with a spouse or a child or neighbor to say, you know, I noticed that you've liked this. Like, what was your reasoning for liking it? Like, do you think that this person is, you know, healthy and taking care of themselves mentally and physically? Like really having conversations, difficult conversations. Honestly, this is a difficult conversation.
- 10:47You don't want to offend someone. You don't want to hurt someone, but it's just their health. Health is first. What's going on inside first, then outside. That's what's really important. What do you think? I'd love to know your thoughts. What, for the children of today or the future of fitness now? Or the children of today.
- 11:10Everything goes in cycles and it's almost as if we haven't changed as a society. And we're just back to where we were in the 90s. And we're pushing that narrative. And I know how that narrative leads to eating disorders. I experienced it myself as a teenager. And I couldn't imagine. It's kind of interesting because now there's social media. But back then we had magazines. We did. We had 17. We had YM's.
- 11:38Wow, girl. Did I just remember where I am? Is that right? I think that's what it was. We're going to get off this. We're going to look it up. Or it's going to also show right here with the cover. I think 17. Did I just pull that out of nowhere? I think that something like that. Wow, you took me back. Oh my gosh, where did I even pull that out of my brain? Can you, can you...
- 12:04Oh my gosh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. That was it. Wow. I don't think I've said one. That's amazing. That's fantastic. Four years. But for sure. But you could also. The OC had the OC. Oh yeah. The actual original OC. There was no post OC. When you said OC, there was only the OC. But you know with magazines and stuff, you can also close it and that's it. Yeah, but yeah. Social media, everything is all around you all the time. Yeah.
- 12:30I know. Do you have kids? I don't. I think it would be really... Do you? I don't. I think it would be very difficult to raise like teenage girls, middle school girls right now. I think that would be really challenging.
- 12:45A lot of my friends have young kids and I've interviewed a lot of people who have kids. And there's a lot more depression and there's a lot more comparison. It's just, it's difficult. But I do think when you talked about the future and where this is heading, I really do see the medical side of the world and fitness happening.
- 13:08really merging together. And I've seen a couple of speakers recently really talking about this, where they're doctors, former athletes, or really connecting with coaches. I think this is really understanding health so that when a doctor meets with a patient, they're not just, all right, you just need to take these pills right away. Let's talk about your nutrition. Let's talk about
- 13:36go do that for six weeks. Let's come back. Let's retest. And we'll go from there. I think these are now, I think we are really heading as much as we're in this right now. I think we're heading in a, in a much more educated direction that I hope that people really, um,
- 13:53are open-minded to making those changes. I do feel positive about where we're headed. I know we're in this like valley right now, but we're heading up, you know, we're in the mountain, we're heading up the mountain right now, but I do believe that we're going to reach that positive summit soon.
- 14:08What about someone? Because when I was on my Tone It Up walk and talk with some community members this morning, it was this same thing of I've felt unmotivated. I'm now in my 40s and I'm going through my fitness slump and I'm trying to come back. And what are three things you would say to a woman right now who's in that fitness slump to get her motivated again and to get her moving?
- 14:34I think motivation's honestly like short term motivation is going to get you to like, I'm going to get up right now and I'm going to get that run in that walk in. It's very short lived. Number one, more than anything ever is you have to know your why. And I know you've talked about this before. I've talked about this before. And,
- 14:52It is so important to know your why. And I'm talking about you got to get down to the nitty gritty of that why. Not I want to lose weight. Okay. How much? 10 pounds. Great. Why do you want to lose weight? Because I want to look better in a bikini.
- 15:07Why do you want to look better in a bikini? I want to attract my spouse more. Why do you want to attract your spouse more? We're not intimate enough anymore. Why are you not intimate? What's causing a lack of intimacy? So I'm talking about like really getting down to this nitty gritty of what is actually happening. Because once you get down to that root,
- 15:29you're going to know like, I have to wake up today. I know this is difficult, but I'm excited too. I know that there's a long-term goal here, not something short-lived. Also,
- 15:41It is hard to consistently go to the gym every day just to go to the gym every day to be healthy. Sign up for something. Go climb a mountain. Do a 5K race. Do an obstacle course. Do a little, you know, a marathon. Ironman, you know, could be something extreme, you know, such as that because I'm kind of extreme. But sign up for something. Even super small. Do your little Thanksgiving, do your little turkey trot.
- 16:06Turkey trots, turkey trots fun, by the way, but sign up for something and grab a friend. Yeah, because they're going to hold you accountable. So the number one, you got to get to your why. The second one, I would say sign up for something because you're working towards something versus going to the gym. That's going to get you excited and motivated for a consistency of time. And then the third one would be grab a friend and tell them what your goals are and why, because they're going to hold you accountable.
- 16:32I actually don't tell a friend, somebody that's super close. I tell somebody that I is a friend, but someone that I know that will keep me accountable. Because your friend you can go to and be like, just kidding. Yeah, like, you know what? We can skip the Sunday workout and let's grab a mimosa. Like, that's what a real friend's going to do. A real friend would be like, yeah. I love that, but I don't.
- 16:53I don't want that for the goal. I want that for, you know, deep connection. I tell you about my friends and family, but I want someone to say like, we're close enough that I trust to feel vulnerable enough to you to tell you what my goals are. But I know that you're going to check in and say, hey, Jacqueline, I'm really just checking in because I want you to achieve what you want to achieve. Like, did you end up doing X steps today? Did you end up getting that meal in before you went to bed? How did you sleep last night? It doesn't have to be often, but just enough.
- 17:23I want to kind of workshop the why.
- 17:26If we can, because we talked about why and you broke it down. But how do we workshop it if someone's at home and they grab a piece of paper right now? Yes, yes, yes, yes. We can even grab, just like walk it. Let's walk through this together. I love this. And I actually, I do this because I coach coaches. And actually when I do like development things with them, we actually do this. I call it a tree. So at the top, you know...
- 17:54Let's say booty girl. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll understand. Yeah. If you're listening to this, that's going to sound weird. We're in a beautiful hotel room. Let me just lay this out for you. We're in a beautiful hotel room with beach balls that say tone it up. And right above, it's a beautiful picture on a wall. Whereas the girl at the end of a boardwalk. Naked. Naked. You just see the backside of her. So we called her now booty girl. Yeah.
- 18:20So let's say that you have a tree, you know, like this booty where booty girl say you have a tree where it's like, this is that main goal of what I want to do. I want to do my first pull up. I want to be consistent in the gym for 30 days. I want to take two minutes off my marathon time, whatever the goal is. And it can't be something that, oh, I can do this in a week. I'm talking about the big goal that says, I really don't know how I'm going to get there. Mm hmm.
- 18:47I just know it's there. This could be for you about your business or writing book number what?
- 18:53I have three, so I would be starting four. Book number four. Yeah. Unbelievable, by the way. She will also drop the links to all those books to purchase. So it will be like book number four. And you don't even know what it's on or something that's really because actually you know how to do that. So that's not even something that's too hard for you. Something that's really out there, like launching the podcast, launching a business, getting out of a relationship, whatever that may be. You put that all the way to the top. That is the top of your tree.
- 19:23And then what do you need to do in order to get there? So you create those branches like stems. Well, it's going to cost money. It's going to, you know, take you to reach out to X person, like a producer or an investor or somebody, I don't know, because it depends on the goal. Mm hmm.
- 19:41you have to make it as specific as possible. You can't just say, oh, I need X, I need money. It's like, how much money? How, who is the investor? Who's the dream investor that you want? And then you go branches down from there. So if it's, let's say I need $500,000. Great. How are you then going to get to $500,000? So the idea is that you have the goal, the goal, the goal,
- 20:02You have the things in order to achieve the goal. And then those start to end up with branches. So you end up going all the way down to the very bottom of this is the root and say, wow, now I see a map of written out of what I need to do. And sometimes those little things.
- 20:17Like leaves have other branches and then other branches. So it stems all the way down because right now everybody thinks this is where I'm at. How do I get to here? It's actually the opposite. You need to go from the top of that mountain because I'm a mountain climber top and you need to build all the way down to say, this is where my step one is. These are three things that I can do today. I can put X amount into my savings. I can send a message to three potential investors. I can do this, blah, blah, blah.
- 20:45Then from there, great, I knocked this great. What's step two? Now you're actually working towards something because if you don't have your why, which is your top, you don't have a plan five years from now, you're going to say, I wish I was still doing X and I still don't have it. And you might not have that goal within five years because it's so big, but at least it shows you got to this point. Yeah. But you have to figure out your why now.
- 21:10first your goal. Now, if you don't know what that why is, that's a conversation in a room by yourself and you have to really analyze and be vulnerable. You might need to go talk to somebody too, to figure out what that is. You might not be able to get that yourself.
- 21:26Yeah, I think that's so important. I'm such a pen and paper person. Me too. Oh my gosh. I like literally am a desert. Do you have a planner where you write it down? Or do you do like a digital planner? I write. I write it down. Take your Bible. If you lost it, you should be in trouble. I have a notebook over there. Desert is back up.
- 21:43Yeah. And I'm like, I have one pen here in Miami. I'm like, where's my pen? I don't even like, I might just scribble something. I need to write it down. But that's so important. Like putting, whether it's a fitness or weight loss goal or a career goal, a love goal. Like why? Like, let's go to love.
- 22:02why do I want to find the love of my life? I'm like just spitballing this. But like, but why? And like how, and like I can imagine like going down this tree and being like, these are the steps I need. Like my pillars of what I need to, like what I want or want to achieve or what I'm looking for. And it really comes back to you, I think.
- 22:28I want to make this make sense, but like whether it's fitness, love, career, like going back and building that tree up of like how to get there. And then it's, I feel like if you start at the top, your head can just spin that you just give up. For sure. Because you don't know how to get there. Yeah.
- 22:47It's really important with what you said is writing it down. Yeah. You just have it in your head. Ideas are great, but you don't know how to execute it. Yeah. Make a plan. I feel like we need to do a whole program on making the plan. Let's do it. It's easy to say it and write it down, but it literally is a process of when you have a dream, how do you get there? You just start from the bottom of your tree. A hundred percent. From the root.
- 23:16That's great. All right. So you don't have kids? No. Are you married? No. Boyfriend? Yes. How long?
- 23:27we'll table that for now okay new dating in miami table that for now impossible impossible really yeah that's miami is miami is really difficult uh it's like a it's a pot from all different cultures all around the world that's here it's
- 23:52primarily, you know, Latin descent, Spanish is, you know, primarily first language, even over English, even though we're in the U S like that's hard. It's hard to really understand that. And, uh, depends on where you're from and how you grew up. It's hard to move to a real different culture and mixed with different cultures. It's difficult. So, um, yeah.
- 24:15I only ask because I do have a lot of friends who are my age and dating and trying to navigate all of that. I think it really depends on where you're at in your life, what you're looking for, and where you're located. I mean, I can only say this because it's Miami. It's so, so difficult. But I think it's when you know you're strong, you have your core values, and they're really, really strong. You want to align with people that are like-minded, even friends too.
- 24:45I'm very cautious of like who I have in my circle and who I spend my time with. Yeah. When it starts to not feel where your core values are aligned, your nervous system really starts to feel it. Women's intuition, if you will, you start to feel a little bit of this like pushback. Yeah. When it...
- 25:04It's not that it feels easy because if it was easy, it's, you know, something's coming at some point, but you have to be able to communicate well and, and talk about your feelings and work through challenges and be emotionally mature and not allow the childhood trauma to creep up. You know, that's just the way that I am. No, you're not.
- 25:30You're choosing that. You realize that. You can break the cycle if you want to. It's going to be hard to, but you can. But I think as you get older, what you're really looking for and value in a partnership, a lifetime partnership, that's really hard to find. Because if you're the one like me, like I really put in the work and I put in the time, it's hard to find someone who also puts in that work and time. It's out there. You just have to try to find them.
- 25:58I feel like we can talk fitness, relationships. We are like your experts. That's a good thing though. Yeah. That's a good thing. But it's hard to find, you know. It really is difficult to find that. Yeah. But you're married. I am. And how long have you been married? We are coming up on 10 years. That's incredible. Wild. 10 years. Wild. Yeah. I'm single. I'm not married. You should talk about these things. I know, right? Am I the expert now that I'm coming up on 10 years of marriage? Yes, you are. I will say. In 2026, yes. Yeah.
- 26:27Yes, because you didn't meet them 30, 40 years ago, right? Or, you know, obviously you couldn't have. But I'm saying that like in this day and age, 10 years is strong enough to say like, wow, it's a decade, but young enough to the time that you met them. Yeah. It was difficult. So you should be talking about this. Not someone who's not married who wants to get married. Message me. Yeah.
- 26:52I know, right? And it does, does have some matchmaking contacts. But I know it's so interesting to you in 10 years and I'm, you know, relationships are not easy. And I've...
- 27:07I feel like we can do another podcast on that. But just even with Bobby and I, there's been so many ups and downs. But coming to the realization of it's always going to be work. Every good thing in life that makes you feel good, that you are working towards, and that goal, and that it's work. Nothing comes easy.
- 27:29Your fitness doesn't come easy. Your relationships doesn't come easy. Your business doesn't come easy. And like actually realizing that goes back to be a good damn person in fitness, business, and relationship.
- 27:44100%. It's integrity. How do you act when nobody's watching in all areas of your life? It doesn't matter, like you said, the career, the relationship, the fitness and wellness. This is a long road. Your life is a long road. Thank God it's a long road. But it takes time and effort and consistency and energy to accomplish in all areas of your life the things that you want. We all want the same things. We want...
- 28:13to be successful. We want the great relationship. We want to, you know, have a great job that we love to go to every day and be happy about it. And you want a partner to come home to that you can share your life with. I feel like we all want relatively the same thing. And that's where we can lean in on each other and support one another to help build each other up rather than tear each other down.
- 28:39Isn't it so interesting? No, it literally, it feels like just by saying that, like, it seems so simple, but it's not. No, it's not. Because it's hard to do the hard things over and over again. And when you make a mistake, have the self-accountability to say...
- 29:00I messed up. But don't be the mistake repeater. Don't say you messed up and do the same thing again. Allow yourself to mess up, but it's your responsibility. As I saw Matthew McConaughey said on the podcast. Matthew McConaughey. What a dream. I never sleep with his sleep story on...
- 29:17Oh, do you? What's the, you got to tell me about that. What a dream boat. Anyway, he said something like, if you make the mistake, like it's your responsibility to course correct. Don't make that mistake and that I did it again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 29:32You're not sorry. You're not because you said you were sorry before when you made the mistake and you did it again. You're not sorry. It's your responsibility, of course, correct and make that change. But it's hard for people to do things for a period of time where they don't have the immediate result. I want to lose the 10 pounds.
- 29:50I went on the scale again. It's the same. What do you think is going to happen in 24, 48 hours? It's not going to move that much. And if it did, that's not good for you, by the way. It's hard to do those things over and over again to get the result that you want. You just got to keep at it. You got to keep going. You got to keep at it. And eventually it will happen.
- 30:09You just got to keep at it. I mean, that's literally it. It's not easy. And if not, you can do what you have set up here, which is your money to talk about, by the way. She has for people who can't see. Is that essential oils too? I literally travel with candles, crystals, essential oils, sage, and palo santo. I sat down and the first thing she said was like, we don't know each other that well, but I love that she has sage, crystals, essential oils. I'm like, I don't know what she like read up on me, but...
- 30:37she's really trying to cleanse the space I think it's such a nice touch by the way thank you whenever I travel I like to create a homey vibe and so I always travel with that and I did have this Buddha statue goddess that was of creativity and wellness and then I dropped her and she decapitated on the way to the airport so I don't have her there what does that mean
- 31:06I know. No, I literally. And then Bobby was like, I'll super glue her head on. And he had her in the car while we were driving to the airport. And then I forgot her. Okay. This Buddha's got to go. No, I'm so sorry. Like first time dropped it. Second time it's missing. Like if it, if it reappears, like we got to just leave it. We need it. We need a new Buddha for you. Yeah. Yeah. I love this setup.
- 31:31Thank you. And thank you for coming here. And Jacqueline, so if people want to find you, work out with you, be motivated, number one in Miami and number one to solve on the interweb. I love it. And number two or number three to date you. Just kidding. You're so funny. Oh my gosh. No, please no.
- 31:47Uh, everything is case and fitness. That's my last name. K A S E N fitness. I respond to everyone, no matter what all DMS messages. If it's an email case and fitness at gmail.com, I'm here to help. That is my sole purpose is to help people move better, feel better, look better, achieve your goals. That's, that's me. So anything that you need, how I can support you. A lot of people say they don't have a person that they can lean on and
- 32:17I love that. Yay. Thank you for hanging out. Thank you. Tone it down with us.