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Why Do Narcissists Hurt You On Purpose? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're answering the question, why do some
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  narcissists like to hurt you on purpose?
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  Like, why do they try to trigger and set you off on purpose?
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  Why do they try to bring some type of pain or chaos into your
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  life on purpose? Like literally on purpose?
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  Like they know what they're doing.
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  It's intentional. There's intent behind the
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  action. Why did it?
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  Where is it coming from? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to yet another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Let's get it. Welcome back, folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes yo, narcissistic people like to set you off on purpose.
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  There are some out there. They like to do it, y'all, let's
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  be real, let's keep it hot and ready.
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  Let's keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar's pizza like
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  seriously like there are some, there are sadistic yes yes yes
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  that's true. They just like to set you off on
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  purpose, so we're going to hop right into it, y'all.
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  One of the first reasons why they like to set you off on
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  purpose is because they're bored.
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  Like, I feel like a lot of this will ring true with a lot of
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  people is that a bored narcissist is a dangerous
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  narcissist is a hurtful narcissist is a narcissist.
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  They can be out of damn control, right?
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  Boredom takes over narcissistic people.
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  Boredom just makes narcissistic people go crazy and lose their
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  damn minds. This is what happens.
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  This is what goes on. This is the space that so many
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  people fall into. Like truly, this is what
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  happens, right? Like they get so bored and so
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  out of place and they let, they're so mentally disconnected
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  that they will lose their minds and they just didn't.
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  They sort of trigger you on purpose.
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  Like no matter what you have going on, you could be having a
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  good day, a bad day or whatever. If they are having a bad day or
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  if they're bored, they just want to set you up on purpose.
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  They want to poke you and pick fights and start fights on
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  purpose. They want to try to trigger you
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  and get a reaction from you on purpose.
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  Yes, it's on purpose. They want this type of stuff to
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  happen because it benefits them in some way, shape or form.
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  They enjoy it, they get a rise out of it.
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  You know what I mean? They get a rise of it.
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  It, it just, it makes them feel good about whatever they have
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  going on. So they just get bored and try
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  to trigger, trigger you, try to trigger, trigger you on purpose
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  and try to bring some type of chaos into your life just
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  because they're bored. It's crazy as hell.
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  I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's absolutely true.
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  They get bored and try to trigger you on purpose, right?
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  The next reason, Well, before we hop into the next reason, y'all,
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  if you haven't already, make sure you check out my courses,
• 2:38
  coaching courses, and support group.
• 2:39
  Everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 2:41
  It'll be scrolling across the bottom of the screen for a
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  little bit. And make sure you hit that
• 2:44
  subscribe button if you have it. I'll be great.
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  It'd be greatly appreciated. But yeah, the next reason y'all
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  is because some of them are absolutely sadistic.
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  There are the sadistic narcissists that just want to
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  see you in pain. They just want to see you hurt
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  it. They just want to know that they
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  have the power to bring some type of chaos or pain into your
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  life. This is just absolute truth for
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  a lot of narcissistic people that they just want to see you
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  hurting and in pain and set off because they get a rise out of
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  it, because it makes them feel good about themselves and their
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  situation, whatever that may be. They love it.
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  They love, they like it, they love it, they want some more of
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  it. You know what I mean?
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  Like seriously, this is what they go, this is what they do.
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  This is how they go through and they keep causing chaos and
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  whatnot as well. Like this is how they go about
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  doing stuff. They want to see you in pain.
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  Like the sadistic narcissist is a very dangerous narcissist.
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  They they can like not only do they want to see you in pain
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  sometimes yeah, y'all don't. Yeah, you don't let me say this.
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  You don't have to be in an intimate relationship for them
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  to want to see you in pain or trigger try to trigger you on
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  purpose. Sometimes this person that's
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  hurting you or trying to bring pain into your life, sometimes
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  this is your parent, sometimes this is your brother, your
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  sister, your Co worker. Sometimes this is just your
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  friend, right? Like they just want to try to
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  trigger you, trigger you on purpose and try to set you off
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  because the sadistic nature exists.
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  They want to wreak havoc into your life.
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  They want to have a see a plan to come together.
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  They want some type of large emotional reaction from you.
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  They want to see you yelling and screaming.
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  You know what I mean? They want to see that type of
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  stuff. I'm glad to say that.
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  Like I said, sometimes they're trying to trigger you on
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  purpose. Another reason, you know, they
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  try to set you off on purpose is because they want to play the
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  victim. They want to make it seem like
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  you are the crazy one. They want to make it seem like
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  they are the a victim of yours, that they are somehow.
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  So they they are somehow in some way, shape or form a victim of
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  your abusive behavior, a victim of your toxic behavior, a victim
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  of yours and not the other way around.
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  Because again, that benefits them.
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  If you are in this grandiose reaction to them and they're
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  recording you or you in front of a group of people, you look like
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  the aggressor. I'm not saying that you are.
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  I'm saying what it looks like. You look like the aggressor in
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  this situation. And when you look like the
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  aggressor, they're going to take full advantage of that.
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  When you look like the aggressor, they're absolutely
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  going to take full unmitigated advantage of you looking like
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  the aggressor because again, that benefits them.
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  So sometimes they will try to trigger you or hurt you on
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  purpose to try to set you off and you, sometimes you're just
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  defending yourself. You're, and I'm not saying that
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  you are, you are the aggressor here.
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  Sometimes you're literally just defending yourself against this
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  person and they're trying to hurt you and harm you and bring
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  some kind of chaos into your life.
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  They are just trying to just destroy your entire, the
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  entirety of your life because they feel like they want to play
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  the victim. They want to get ahead of stuff
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  like said, they want to play the victim like when you're reacting
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  to them, they sometimes when you're reacting to them, they're
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  sometimes going to try to get a smear campaign started, right.
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  They're sometimes going to try to get a smear campaign started
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  in some way, shape or form to make themselves make to make you
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  look bad. I was like destined area, sorry,
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  but this is how they get away with doing a lot of things.
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  They want to try to play division.
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  They want to try to make it seem like you are the aggressor or
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  the toxic person or the narcissistic person in this
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  situation. They want this to be how it go.
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  They want this to be how it is. Like truly.
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  And if you deal with this person, you know exactly what
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  I'm talking about. They're trying to start a smear
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  campaign because you have a reaction, because you're in
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  pain, because you're hurting. Yeah, they can hurt you so badly
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  mentally, physically, emotionally.
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  I don't always mean physically hurt, right?
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  Sometimes they're physical, but sometimes they can hurt you so
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  bad mentally that you become depressed and lethargic.
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  You have you become very low energy, very low effort and they
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  just use that as a way to make you look bad make to make you
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  look worse. Like look at look at this effort
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  that look at the effort that they're putting in.
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  They're not showing any effort in the relationship.
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  They're not here for me. Look at how lazy this person has
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  become. Look how dirty the house is.
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  Look at this person got fired from their job.
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  This person got demoted. This person has been hasn't been
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  promoted in years. This person isn't taking care of
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  their family. This person isn't that they'll
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  beat you down emotionally. They'll hurt you emotionally
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  because they want to make it to be to be able to play the victim
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  till they so they have sometimes they have a reason to leave you.
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  They have a reason to just they can have a justified reason to
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  leave you, a just a justified reason to leave you for somebody
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  else, a justified reason to move on to someone else, a justified
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  reason to cheat and just say I was justified in cheating
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  because how you were behaving, how you were treating me.
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  I was justified in that because of how you acted, because of how
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  you behaved, because of what you did to me.
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  You were you did this to me. I didn't do anything to you,
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  blah, blah blah, Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  They will almost always try to find a way to make it seem like
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  you are the aggressor here in this situation, like you are the
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  toxic person, like you are the horrible person in this
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  situation. So be prepared for that y'all,
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  It really does happen. You know, this American made
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  really does happen. And I'm going to tell you
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  another thing y'all, this is another reason that narcissist
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  will try to hurt you. And like I said, y'all, this
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  might not be one of the reasons you've heard before because this
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  reason right here is made is one of the reasons why I made this
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  video. I had a thought.
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  I'm going to ask some other reasons into it, but then I'm
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  gonna hit you with this heat right here, hit you with this
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  fire. One of the most insidious
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  reasons that narcissists like to cause chaos, like to trigger
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  you, like to hurt you on purpose is because they want to be able
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  to play the hero. That's one of the most that's
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  one of the most insidious reasons why they will try to
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  hurt you on purpose is because they want to play the hero to
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  your abuse, to your reaction. They want to hurt you.
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  They want to they they want to be the person that they want
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  healing, healing and harm to come from the same hands.
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  I know what you're going to say. Leave your hands look rough.
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  These are working man's hands. Like, listen to that.
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  These are working man's have worked in the warehouse for
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  years. Give me a break.
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  You need some lotion. I got I had some lotion.
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  I don't know where it is, but yeah, they want to be the hero.
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  And what's the easiest way to be the hero to a situation that you
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  created? But I know what happened to you.
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  I know why you're hurting. I'm the one that hurt you, so I
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  should be the one that help you. I hurt you, so let me heal you.
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  And this is how traumatic bonds or trauma bonds can get built as
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  well, y'all. This is how you can become
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  attached to your abuser. This is how you can become.
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  This is how this person can be abusing you and they'd be very
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  hard and very difficult for you to actually see to this person
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  and accept that this person is being abusive to you.
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  Because this same person is making you feel good, aren't
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  they? This same person is doing you,
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  is doing good by you, aren't they?
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  This person is doing is treating you good.
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  Sometimes this person makes you feel good.
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  This same person that is hurting you healed you.
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  The same person who cut you, stitched you up and gave you a
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  Band-Aid. The same person who set the fire
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  in your life, who burned you. It's the same person who gave
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  you the the, the the little fire cream and banded you up.
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  The same person who blacked your eye, took you to the hospital.
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  The same person who tried to unalive you, saved your life.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is crazy.
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  This can be very crazy. It can be very uniquely insane.
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  When you're dealing with an abusive person, they can
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  absolutely take it to the level right there where they start
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  messing with your head and so start doing stuff to you just so
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  they can play the hero. It's very insidious.
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  And this is like, yeah, on the scale of the scale of darkness,
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  the, the scale of kind of craziness.
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  Crazy as a loose word. They might be very high on it,
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  right? Because it takes a very
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  insidious, dark minded lack of empathy to hurt you on purpose
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  so they can heal you, right? Y'all don't ever hear to make
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  make up cheek clapping. Sometimes they'll start fights
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  with you on purpose so they can damn near let's go make up.
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  I got something for you. Y'all go in the bedroom and
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  bounce around for a little bit and now you're feeling good.
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  But you like wait a minute, that was amazing.
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  That was the best I've ever had And you like, wait, was it the
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  best I ever had? The best we've ever done it, the
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  greatest feeling that we've ever had together because it was that
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  good or because I connected to this person, because this
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  person, I felt like this person saved me.
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  This person healed me. This person made me feel better.
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  So this is where you have to get into your mind.
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  And this is where you got to have to think deeper when you're
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  dealing with a narcissistic person, right?
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  Because you have to get into your head that this person is
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  only in it for them. This person is trying to find a
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  way to benefit them. This person trying to find a way
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  to heal and fix them to make themselves appear to be the
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  hero. And again, they can appear to be
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  the hero in your life right there as well.
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  Like this person, like they hide all the money from you, right?
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  They've refused to pay the bills.
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  You admit you mentally, emotionally distressed because
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  you think you're going to get evicted or you're going to lose
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  your car, you're going to lose something and also they pay it.
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  I paid Hey, I paid the mortgage by the way, so we're not going
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  to we're not getting evicted. You're like, wait, you made it
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  seem like you the hero paying the mortgage.
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  You supposed to do that every month?
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  What the hell? Why you doing this?
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  Why you tell me you got fired, but you didn't?
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  Why you lie about your job situation?
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  Because they wanted to play the hero.
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  Well, can I get a reward in the bedroom?
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  You see what I'm saying? They want to play the hero to
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  the they want to be able to clean up the mess that they
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  made. They want to be able to create
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  to to fix the chaos that they've created.
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  And it's a very I'm just telling y'all, this is a very, very
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  toxic mindset to have. It is very, very toxic, is very
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  hard to deal with. It's hard to, like I said, and
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  it's hard to reconcile when you are the person dealing with
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  this. It's hard for you to reconcile
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  like them. The same person that hurt me,
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  made me feel good. What you see what I'm saying?
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  This person is this person is really being intentionally evil
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  to me. That can't be true and that's
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  what so many people get into their heads.
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  You can't believe that this person that they told, they told
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  you that they love you. You can't believe they would
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  treat you so horribly. You can't believe that they
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  would do something so derogatory, so negative to you.
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  You can't believe that this person would bring so much pain
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  and chaos into your life. It's hard for you to understand
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  it. It's hard for you to deal with
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  that. It becomes very difficult for
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  you to understand that. Like I said, I know it is.
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  I know it becomes very difficult y'all, but this is something you
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  have to kind of get through your head that some narcissists are
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  hurting you on purpose. Because when I talk to people
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  when I'm doing my one on ones or I'm talking to my support group,
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  both, you can find both at mental illness that net scroll
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  across the bottom of the screen when I'm talking to them.
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  I say look, once you understand that they're doing it on
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  purpose, it will help you release your release you from
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  their hold. There's so many people don't
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  believe that somebody could be so insidious on purpose because
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  you're not insidious on purpose. You don't think like this.
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  So it's hard for you to imagine somebody else thinking or
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  behaving in such a way because you don't operate on the same
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  wavelength. You don't operate in this, this,
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  this space, this, this toxic dynamic.
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  You don't operate this way. So it's very difficult for you
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  to reconcile with this and understand and realize that this
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  person is hurting you or harm you in some way, shape or form.
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  It's very difficult for you to get a grasp on it because you
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  don't work this way, you don't operate this way.
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  But guess what? They for damn sure do.
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  You have to protect yourself, y'all?
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  You have to protect your piece, your pockets, your money, your
• 14:32
  body, everything. Because some narcissists like to
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  help you hurt your own purpose. If this video brought you some
• 14:39
  clarity, if it brought you some understanding, y'all make sure
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  you hit that subscribe button. It helps reach more people so we
• 14:44
  can help bring them some clarity and some peace in their life.
• 14:46
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• 14:49
  temporary fix. Hit that subscribe button.
• 14:51
  I thank y'all for support. Thank y'all for rocking me for
• 14:53
  so long. I appreciate every so one of
• 14:54
  y'all. I'm grateful for you.
• 14:56
  And as always, y'all mental illness is out.
• 14:58
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 15:00
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea?
• 15:03
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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  to the channel. Helps reach more people and
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  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
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  another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 15:16
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 15:18
  video.