Latest / Surviving-ISH Podcast / The "Sleeping Beauty" Award... (The Narcolepsy Story We NEVER Talked About) w/ Johnna and Danika

Transcript

The "Sleeping Beauty" Award... (The Narcolepsy Story We NEVER Talked About) w/ Johnna and Danika · Surviving-ISH Podcast

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're in the right place.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Bible Gift.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm David, and I'm joined by Jonna, who all of you all know.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: But hello.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Jonna has a friend with her.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: Hello.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: Power related.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, like, I was I when I use the word friend, I use it calculatedly, wondering if you're gonna be like, there's a friend, it's mother-daughter.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, we're so besties.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: Honestly, yeah, we have an amazing relationship.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't say that because she's sitting next to me.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and she's not agreeing because she's sitting next to me.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: We really have a freaking phenomenal relationship.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I made this.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: My best piece of art yet.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I use the words the way that I did, because I think that's so great.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, my mom is one of my best friends.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love that because it doesn't always happen.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: And we've talked a lot about that.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Her, some of her other friends, you know, just um observing them with their parents, and she's like, But I'm too glad we have what we have.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: I get so torn on things because I do think that mothers need to be mothers and not the friend.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: But where where I try to rebut that is I know that my mother is a safe place, however, I know that my mother is gonna be the first one to be like, bitch, get your shit together.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and that my mother, my mother's on a helicopter mom.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: She wants me to to go out and explore.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: She's not gonna hover around, yeah.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: But she's a safe place for me to call and say, Hey, I'm maybe fucked up.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And she's gonna be like, All right, we're gonna get you here where you're safe.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and you know that she'll yeet right out of her one in-person class to answer that call and leave and come be there for you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So she's the friend that gets me to a safe place and lets me go to sleep without worries.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I know when I wake up, mother is sitting there waiting for answers.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think both of those are are great.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think we need all of them.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's moderation, and there's so many times that I could name even in the last couple of months, that she's called me with a thing.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a a lot for the last I know, baby doll, for the last uh month or so for her, and I let her get it out and I'm there, and I wait 24 to 48 hours, and then I'm like, hey, now that everything's chilled, what the actual fuck, dude?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like, honestly, though.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, she's like, Yeah, I knew this call was coming.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: How many times she has said, bro, who is the parent here?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, honestly, it's um well, we we get to the place uh as children, as as a child, we get to the place where we begin to parent the parents, and I think that sometimes we think we have to parent the parent before the parent is ready.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I look at Reba McIntyre, right?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: She just turned 70 years old.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: She may be 71 by the time this episode is released because I record in ahead of time, but she moves, dances, and has more jobs than I can fathom.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And she's in her 70s.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: My mother is in her, I think she's like 60, 61.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: My parents had me very young, but like at 14.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know why I'm already trying to put her in a retirement home.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, baby, like your favorite Reba just performed four hours worth of concert.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Are you mom?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, bitch, yes.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I so I'm learning how my inheritance is reflecting my responses.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got some Googling to do.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um that was some intent.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, but Mama, I just want you to be taken care of.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: That's so funny.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: How many times has Danica said to me, recently, because running around like a chicken with my head cut off the other day, and I was she's like, Mama, and that was the tone, heads today, and I'm like, bitch, please, they don't make me stop having ADHD.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't forget where everything is.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you just you got a little extra ADHD, and I gotta be sure it's truth.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: So, yes, she already does that to me at my ripe age of good lord, not even that old.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm not mad at it.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe she's my ish, you know, and but it's so crazy, it's so crazy too.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there are people that I hang out with that are my mother's age that I think are just so young and beautiful and full of energy, and everything they say, I think is so great.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when my mother does it, I'm like, oh, you know, uh, and so so why is there this whole disconnect of like I keep trying to remind myself that my mother is mom, but she's still Don.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: She's still Don Renee, you know, and and I I I tell mothers all the time, like, don't lose yourself when you have a baby.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: But the minute my mom tries to be Don Renee, I'm like, bitch, no, you're mama, your mom.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And at this point, mom is in a lovely home.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not a nursing home, because you would try to put her on in one.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know, like what like what do I do with that?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's you know, it's funny because look, that other person who is the same age that is all put together, and you're like, oh my god, yes, queen, and they say things that when your mom says, you're like, Oh, please no, don't ever say that again.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: The difference is you've seen mom at every stage.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: She has whooped your ass, she has told you what, what, and wherewithal, she has kissed your boo-boos, you have seen her vomit, she has seen you vomit.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: You didn't go through that with that other person.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's just different, it's that familial difference.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's just like seeing I could see someone potentially with the exact same body type as my husband, and be like, ew, but on him, I'm like, hell yes.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's because he is mine, it's different.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so before we get on the the main thing, your big ish is a big bunch of bullish.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I know, and I'm so excited about the conversation, but but to say branded, I want to know what what is your surviving ish for the week.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I I told you I was gonna say one thing.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm totally gonna go a different direction.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: The school so hard.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: I spent four hours trying to register for four classes this morning.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Twice.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: I was on the phone for over an hour on hold with my school trying to register for this class.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: So when I finally get hold of the first woman, it's after I've been on hold for like 35 minutes, whatever.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm still playing with other things, not really that big of a deal because I'm still looking at other classes and just while I'm waiting, she goes, Oh, you've gotta do nurse dash UL and then the number instead of what you're doing.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I don't know, cool.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: So I plug it in, it pops up.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, damn, you're the best.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I move on with my life.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_03: We get off the phone.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: Why did that woman, knowing that there could be more problems, not go go ahead and click register?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna hang out with you.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: As soon as I hit enroll, it was like, no, you can't enroll in this because of da-da-da-da-da.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: My next hold time was an hour and a half.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_03: So four hours it took to register for four classes.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: But you know what?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm registered now.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_03: Damn it, they can't do it.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: Why do you need a degree to get a degree?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: What a love is when your first a class starts, you're gonna get notification that you're expected to be in three places at one time because you've registered so many different times.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel like I feel like it's not over.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: I curse you.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's totally over.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: I have fought with this university.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, it's been almost three years.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I have not backed down.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: I have refused to take no for an answer.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_03: I will get a bachelor's of nursing from them.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_03: I may say F it and literally go get my master's elsewhere because I'm so done.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: But they have the best nursing program on the best time frame for me in the state.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: And it's one of the best in the country.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: So I refuse to um be told no.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that there's an autopsy of getting enrolled in classes and professionals looking for conversations, and I hope that this conversation is part of the autopsy because I never thought of it this way.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't graduate college.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: I tried a couple times, but I was like, all these jobs keep landing in my lap, and I'm making more money than my friends with college degrees, and apparently less stress because I don't remember a password.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: They want me to remember this password and a four-digit.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: My four digits also my last social, but of course, these government-related programs are like you can't use the last four of your social.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm putting my birthday and they're like, No, you can't do that either.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Well, what four numbers?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, one, two, three, four.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, No, you can't do that.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what do I use?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: I did not graduate is because I could not figure out a password.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: I could not afford digit pen.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: I have a business degree, I have managed over 600 people at one time.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: I was in the corporate sector of retail for 22 years, and it took me four hours to register for four classes, and I knew what the classes were already.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's not like I was looking.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be one thing if they were like, okay, you have to have 24 hours of this class, right?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or or X amount of hours for a semester, and we're going to calculate how long it takes you to register, and we'll deduct that from Oh, I would have taken a nap.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: You would have got your diplomatic.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: You never, you never even had to sign into those classes.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: You got your diploma.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I didn't even have to do anything complicated because three out of the four are online for me this coming semester.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't even have to like make things work physical scheduling-wise.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: And it I that's it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm done with that ish.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: We're moving on.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even want to talk about it anymore.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fair.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: So this week, y'all, I'm skipping my ish because and there's also a broader spectrum of this that we're gonna talk about.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So hello, my friend.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad that so.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let me ask you this.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is this your first podcast?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I love that.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: I know, right?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: We're bursting our podcast bubble.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love that.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for did before your mom started podcasting and TikToking and all that stuff.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Did you have an interest in it?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you just here?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh that's a can of worms.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I totally like unrelated to anything we're gonna talk about today.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: I've been an artist since like as long as I could roll the crayon.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it starts as this tattoo was actually designed by Danica.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: My tattoo artist did it, but I gave her a lyric to a song, and this is what she came up with for me.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, she's an incredibly talented artist.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, you know, it starts.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: I just scribble something and tell you what I wanted it to be.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's an elephant.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh 20 something years later, I'm doing like full illustrations and rendering and all this, and I would love to make that a full-time career, but that's a very competitive industry, and there have been a lot more openings for that in the recent age with or streaming stuff.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I wanted to build into that at some point, but have been struggling to get started.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like there was a point years ago where I like got a webcam and got the uh ring light that she stole.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: No, I gave you years back.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: I bought my own.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I used the ring light that she bought four years ago to start a Twitch account for like my first five or six podcasts.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, it's definitely been something in the back of my mind.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's just something I've been really struggling to push myself to start.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_03: Anxiety and ADHD happen every time.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I want to have I'm well, I shouldn't say I want to have, I don't care if I have a million tattoos, right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just I want someone to look at a a single one and be like, oh, what's the story behind that one?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And there'll be a story.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so like I have several yes, um, and they're all podcast related, but well, see, love it, love it, and so we're recording this just a few days.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: We're very matching, yes.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, I love that.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we're recording this just a few days before the actual debut of the first show um is being released, which I'm really excited about.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we're recording on uh November 3rd, and this is Monday, right?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: So November 6th is the debut of Surviving Ish.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't have a tattoo of Ish yet, but if you want to create and think of something and send it to me, I did that.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Hurtful, I made that, right?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, like your mom did your mom did the logo.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that could be fun because I'm craving a new tattoo.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh so Danica, let okay, let's get into it.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is a conversation that I've wanted to have, but I I honestly don't know anyone in my life that battles uh or or survives, whatever words like to use, with narcolepsy.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that I find interesting is you see certain movies where it's like a 51st date kind of thing, where it it's it's it's a comical side of things.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm and I'm not trying to negate the fact that there's healing and humor, but I think that before we can have the the or there before we can have the the humor side of healing, we need to understand the shit, right?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like we need to understand like this could affect your school, it could affect if you get a driver's license or not.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And and so you as a child have battled, survived narcolepsy, right?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I want to say first that I am very green to this.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: I've never experienced um myself.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: I've never experienced myself or or even had someone in my life that's has experienced it.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or so forgive anything that I say that may not be correct and and feel free to correct me on it.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just know my intent, right?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: We're all here to learn.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: So is narcolepsy something that you're born with, or is it something that happens after birth?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: Science, this is my science and medical.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: Now you get me.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: Narcolepsy is 100% something that you're born with.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_03: However, it is almost never diagnosed until after 18.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: So it's when you really settle into that.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: I've graduated, I'm going to work in the real world, I have to adhere to a different kind of schedule, no one expects me to take naps anymore.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_03: That's when people start really experiencing symptoms of narcolepsy that are tangible and different than, oh, they're a toddler, they're taking a nap.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, school wore them out, they're taking a nap.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they're growing, they're taking a nap.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's after that.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: So 18 to 22, I believe, when I was researching, was they I'm 99% sure it was 18 to 22, is when most people are diagnosed.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: But yes, she is certainly always had it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well then, Danica, let me ask you like 18 to 22 is when you want to diagnose it.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that I know the appropriate times to lay down and take a nap, right?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I I've never just been like, okay, and that's the thing with narcolepsy, right?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like you could be in the floor playing with a teddy bear and all of a sudden just asleep, and that's not the way naps happen.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm what I guess my question is for you all is how do you feel about not being diagnosed until 18 to 22?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what what are your all's thoughts on that?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Were you 22?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think just about right on the dots.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think once I got that diagnosis, it felt very obvious looking back at my life.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yes, I in middle school, it was end of the year, yearbook awards just came out, and my our teachers did more personalized awards for the class.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I won the Sleeping Beauty Award because I fell asleep in class so much that my teachers made me not sit at a desk anymore and stand in the back, and I would still fall asleep in class standing up.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna expound on that.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: So when she won that, she comes home and she shows me, and I was a little miffed.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, it's kind of fucking rude.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: And she was like, Yeah, they took away my chair.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Jokes on them, I can sleep standing up, and like it was just it honestly, as a parent, how bad do you feel when you should have known?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: And what she said was 100% accurate.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: As soon as she got that diagnosis, Steve and I, her father and I both went, Oh, that makes sense.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: We should have got that.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_03: We honestly thought that she was just a night owl like I was and was staying up all night, and that's why she would fall asleep.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: However, she has an extra piece besides narcolepsy.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: I also, at that same diagnosis, revealed that I have idiopathic hypersomnia.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: Idiopathic is just a fancy word for we don't know why this is happening.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: And hypersomnia is I can fall asleep at night, but I can't access the REM cycle like a normal human being.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Which is the important, like that's the good sleep.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's when you convert short-term to long-term memories, it's when you process everything.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's the real important part.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_03: So literally has no ability to reach REM at night.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: However, she could fall asleep on the couch right after coming home from school and hit REM almost immediately.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay, so so I want to put a pin in that because I do have a question about the school and the sleeping booty award.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, there's no right or wrong answer, right?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: But did you feel like that award was, did you get some kind of were you seen and heard with it, or or was it kind of a bit more of a middle finger to you?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because even if there is not uh because at that time you did not have a diagnosis of anything, but obviously you knew something was not right with your body, right?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you knew how to say it or not.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure if I really did at the time because we did, yeah.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't know to this day I am not diagnosed, but suspect I have autism.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: So social cues are out of it for me.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Gotcha.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: Which is not exactly observant.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um that could be a whole nother episode of hilarious stories.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm ready for it.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's neither here nor there.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so yeah.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well then, so then then this sleeping beauty award, did you take?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: As like I see you, I hear you, an accomplishment of some kind of like did you appreciate it?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't say I appreciate it.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like the like the other kids in class had like some sort of achievement that they got rewarded for, whether it was this grade or being a leader amongst the other students, and all I had to speak for was I couldn't stay awake when I was supposed to.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: So was this the first?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: So was this the first beauty award?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I can relate to that.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm not gonna go into crazy detail with it.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the listeners, the long time listeners are knew the story, but when I was in fifth grade, um my family uh was hit by a drunk driver, and it killed my the car accident, killed my grandmother, my great-grandmother, and my great aunt, my brother and I, we barely survived.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And our V uh our car accident was the first accident to be considered a vehicle a vehicular homicide by a drunk driver.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And they said I would never walk, talk, do anything again because of the brain injured, like you can still see the horseshoe scar on my head right here.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And they said I would never walk, talk, do anything again, and I proved them wrong.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up going back to school quicker than they realized, and it was getting close to the end of the year.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I had like the the first part of fifth grade, and then the week or two weeks, I guess, that you're on spring break, I guess, is when that the accident happened.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: It happened the Saturday before the Monday that you returned to school.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh wow, yeah, and then um, so I returned to school close to the end, and unfortunately, I was having to be held back.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I was failing fifth grade, right?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so the day of the these awards ceremonies, the the school contacts my father, and my dad goes without telling me, and they're like, Hey, we need David just spends too much, he he should not advance to middle school, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was awards ceremony, and so they told my dad, they're like, We want to present him with an award, so still bring him tonight, maybe have this conversation with him after.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so my dad comes home, I guess, and we're getting ready.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: We go to this award ceremony.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: They had me positioned like at front and center, and it's like the whole thing was acknowledging me, which I appreciated, right?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like this was a horrible thing for my community and and the school, like they were all donating blood and and doing all these things, you know, like it the community really came together, so I appreciated that.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I got surprised, like they called me up for the citizenship award, and so I walk up and the teachers give me the citizenship citizenship award, and I go back and I sit down, and you know, and I'm celebrating everyone else when they get rewarded.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then after on the way home with dinner, my dad proceeds to to tell me.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it was years later, as I grew and advanced into realizing that my citizenship award was the first citizenship award that that the school is given, and they haven't given one since.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it was I feel sorry for you, you know, like I'm sorry.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's some love with that.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's also that whole like the fuck with that, like you're giving me this, and then also tell me that I'm not good enough to to uh escalate with with my friends, yeah.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I still to this day, I mean I I just talked 15 minutes about this.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: So this day, like I struggle with that.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so sorry for my team, then, but I was I was just like, how do you feel about this?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because how this is how I feel.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't it there's some beauty to missing social cues sometimes, yeah.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_03: Whether it be a trait of being on the spectrum, yeah, or just on absorbance or absorbed in other things, whatever it is.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's um there's some beauty to it occasionally, and I think that for her, like I remember her reaction when she brought it home.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: I was pissed.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, ha ha.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, she was just like, whatever.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: It was probably when you got a little older and we talked about it, that it was more like, well, that's kind of messed up.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they couldn't have given me like best dressed or something.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because she was a damn well-dressed kid.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and even if one thing, one thing that I will say, and and I truly did not think about this until John and I had talked for the past couple of weeks about, you know, Dana could come on and talking about this, and and Jonna had told me about the Sleeping Beauty Award, and it triggered that memory in me of my citizenship.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I I was thinking back and I was like, you know, could they have found a better name than citizenship?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: God, what about resilience and make it a yearly?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And and and but but I think that's a different transition, right?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: But as far as like what they were trying to do, like I think one of the saving graces uh for me has been like my community really came together, yeah, in my family's name.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: That that was a citizenship with it, though there was a community with it.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so it it and I want to thank you for that.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know as corny as it sounds, but until your mom and I was having this conversation, Danica, before I met you and and and today in this conversation, if I heard citizenship award or anything like that, I was triggered to an ugly way.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um but this conversation and the conversation that Jonna and I have had has made me think of it a little differently.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that where we were 30 years ago, I I think that I can't think of a reason to be offended by the citizenship title of this.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate that the school wanted to recognize me because, regardless, if I was able to go to sixth grade with my friends around it, I still fucking tried.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: I still fought and I tried, and they were recognizing that, and and I was almost minimizing that.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: However, however, I don't have the same reaction when it comes to the sleeping beauty.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, I could see how a young girl could hear a sleeping beauty title and think of Snow White and want to wear that as a badge of honor, but from an outsider looking in, I've never been that kid.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm disgusted by that.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: And granted, I don't know that I don't know their intent, but I don't love it.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like thinking back, it like how could that have been handled better?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like if I'm constantly falling asleep in class to the point where you're making me stand up in the back of the room and I'm still falling asleep in class, why was it just a throwaway award at the end of the year and not a hey, this seems to be a recurring issue?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we get you in with the counselor?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we work with administrative staff and your parents?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: Why was none of this addressed more seriously?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I will say they did call me near the beginning of the year and say, hey, she's having a lot of hard time sleeping, and tried to parent for me.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: Can we work on getting like a better bedtime?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, okay, hear me out.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: I have to work.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_03: I make sure she's in bed on time.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: She does have a bedtime.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: We're not that free range of parents, which we were pretty free range, but not that free range.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: What she does after I go to sleep, I don't know what you want me to do.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's a decision she's making for herself.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: Because she was of an age, it was sixth grade, that yeah, you make those decisions for yourself.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: And we very much let her make a lot of those kind of decisions on her own.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_03: Because when you're constantly insulated from consequences of your actions, it doesn't help you in the long term.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_03: So they had called me and looking back as a parent, right?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_03: That educator had been an educator for a long time, saying this is not normal.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_03: It goes beyond like I stay up too late.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe a pediatrician should get involved.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_03: What if we had gotten this diagnosis then?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: What if they weren't could have been diagnosed then?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because I guess it's just a sleep study.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so so this might be backtracking a little bit, but it's not that she started kindergarten and started falling asleep randomly.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like this was it is an ongoing like this.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you my first memory of this happening when when she got her diagnosis.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I have some photos to show.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: This will be a great time for this.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone has cute photos of their kid, like when they have a kid and they like them.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: And we actually have printed ones because I'm old.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone has pictures of their kid at like this age, right?
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_03: Asleep, asleep in the high chair, and then you start getting a little older and you're sleeping in real weird positions on the floor.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_03: But I was gonna say the the position itself, right?
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, we're still going.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_03: This is my favorite.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: I walked in and found her like this one morning.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_03: This was not the only time.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: She is half in and half out of that bed.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was gonna say to the listener who isn't in the visual, like it looks like Danica wanted to maybe crawl up on the bed to take a nap, but waste up.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, you know what?
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna sleep now.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, she would hold.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_03: I found her asleep in her toy box.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_03: I found her asleep under her bed.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: I I found this child asleep in so many weird places.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_03: You would think that would be it.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know what story I'm about to tell.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's funnier because this was like July August, and Steve and Danick and I are driving down the road.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: She's in the backseat in her car seat.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_03: Jingle bells, jingle.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, she's asleep.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_03: Literally singing that aggressively, jingle bells in August.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: All that gone.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: I thought it was hilarious.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: Should have it's like, you know, when you look back and you've dated someone and you're like, damn, there were a lot of red flags.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: How did I miss that?
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: There were a lot of red flags that something was going on.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: We thought she was just quirky.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: And she is.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that the I think that I think we have to allow ourselves some grace of red flags are for when something is consistent on a level of normalcy, right?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like when we look at the when we look at the stats, like I maybe I have, you know, it's kind of like people are like into this whole like trans thing right now, right?
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I cannot recall a time I've ever been in the bathroom with a trans.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: And and so, so maybe I was sometime, but maybe I just don't care and or pay attention to who's in the bathroom with me.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the reason I'm telling that, but we have a lot of trans people in our lives, so sure, but but the reason I'm saying that is a lot of the people that I've talked to that are like against trans, right?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, well, when have you been in the bathroom?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, never.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, exactly.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: So why are we voting again?
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: And and not that we're voting against narcolepsy, but we're I I would not know red flags for narcolepsy.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and it wasn't.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it puts a lot of weight on people, especially parents, be like, oh, well, I should have seen the flags.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: You were not given a flag, yeah, period.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to narc, because I I don't I don't know what the stats are, but it had just always been she's our only kid.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: We didn't know.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_03: I also had her at night and was doing a real good job just parenting and keeping her alive, okay.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, um, and and I mean this with all due respect, but as tired as I am, and how I truly could fall asleep right now, I would think that the child was mocking me and throwing in my face that they have the ability and the privilege to just go to sleep when they could, and it was almost a middle finger.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: I still would not equate it to a medical thing.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: I would think they were telling me, Fuck you.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to do it.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: Honestly, and I hadn't even thought about this until right now, up until a few years ago, I still struggle with depression.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_03: I now have tools through therapy and medication that it's a lot better than it was.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I also could fall asleep anywhere, anytime.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_03: So it seemed incredibly normal.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't realize that I used sleep to hide from life because I was so depressed and it was just easier to be asleep.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_03: Now, if I'm not up by like 7:30, something is wrong.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_03: It means I don't feel good.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: It I wake up at the stupidest times, like annoyed that I'm just up because cool, why am I up at 6.30 on a Sunday?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_03: And now I'm just gonna curl up with my dogs and drink coffee and read a book until my husband wakes up because he's asleep and it's not nice.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_03: But I had always been that person who could also just fall asleep on a dime, just like that, and so it was it felt normal.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_03: Steve would tease both of us, like, that must be nice that you can both do that because he had wicked insomnia.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: He doesn't anymore.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_03: Now he's the one who falls asleep, and I'm the one who's up going, I wonder what the price of tea in China is right now.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, it's it's switched, but there was that commonality that I'm sure he just thought it was genetic.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then, okay, and and this is gonna be probably fast-forwarding a little bit.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but always feel free to retract if I'm if I'm missing any detrimental timelines.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: But so in in elementary school is when I guess other adults, such as teachers, started realizing things.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but them realizing it obviously didn't prevent it from happening in middle school.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, what was like the middle school high school years?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, was it the same kind of thing?
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: But still like grade, we actually pulled her out and we homeschooled her for a year.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we did K-12 online homeschool.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: And that was a disaster that I can admit to now that she slept during it too.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_03: Cause I thought, okay, maybe if she's just a night owl, she can do her shit at night, whatever.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care, because it didn't matter when you did it, as long as you did it.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, Steve and I ended up splitting her subjects to each and doing sixth grade, fourth, seventh grade for her, so that she made it through.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: And then we put her right back in school because hell, I wasn't doing that again.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Not you.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you did test.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: She was always like she was always like top five percent of the state in testing.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_03: So whatever.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_03: Anyways, yeah, so high school, how was that?
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_03: I don't remember.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_03: I was busy like I was in school full-time and working full-time because she was a lot more self-sufficient then.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: God, I've slept since then for high school.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like at that point it was more my I undiagnosed ADHD bothering me at that point.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, it was a lot more of that.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_02: I could stay up all night and then pass out in class.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think there was one point where I had a teacher waking me up because the entire class had cleared out because the bell had rung and I was still out cold.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's just always been a struggle.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like my memories go back as far as five or six years old being put to bed and then not being able to sleep and getting out and playing with toys or doing whatever.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: And then if I am in anything close to reclining in the day, I'm out in a second.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just always been that thing of and we have no clue if I'm at any sort of resting position, it could be nap time.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, Danica, I want to ask you a couple questions.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: When your body shuts down and says sleep, right?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: That is the REM.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: But when you lay down tonight, you may not hit the REM, right?
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so, so let's say uh hypothetically, we're having this conversation, and all of a sudden you fall asleep.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, a friend decided to come into the chat.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, we are dog friendly, and this is why I support animals.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm not saying he's a support animal, but like this is why animals are just so I am an ESA handler, he is an ESA dog.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: So, yes, yes.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is why it's so amazing, because like even if he just senses the fact that like we're talking about something that's hard to discuss, you know, and he's like, I'm gonna come love on you for a minute.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think that's great.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, so you could hypothetically just fall over asleep right now and wake up.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, yeah, like I'm hypothetical.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: Cuddled up on the couch right now and we're both on our phones.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_03: Good chance that that would happen.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like this.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, David.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: Seriously, her bedroom from nine to beginning of freshman year, so 13, 14, from nine to fourteen, her bedroom was directly above ours.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: And we would know when she had fallen asleep because we'd hear plunk.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: That was her phone falling out of her hand.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: And so I would make sure that she would plug her phone in.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_03: She got in bed because I knew it was gonna hit the floor and it needed to be plugged in when it hit the floor.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and again, like I know that I'm taking the long way around uh this hypothetical, right?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: But if you fell asleep right now in mid-conversation, you would hit rim state versus when tonight, when you're like, oh, it's 11 o'clock, I'm gonna go to sleep, you wouldn't.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: So my question is when you fall asleep mid-whatever, like not bedtime, not in bed, right?
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: How long would you sleep?
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you fell asleep right now, how long would you sleep?
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: It could be a few minutes, it could be until dinner time, which we're at 3:30 p.m.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_03: It could be until someone woke your ass up.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it could be pretty much until I'm disturbed by something.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so so, but you're in rim state.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when you woke up, did you feel refreshed?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, way more than when I'm trying to go to bed at night.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then it before I was diagnosed, it was I would go to bed at night and fall asleep, but and for people not viewing air quotes, fall asleep, but I am still fully cognizant of everything that's happening around me.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: Every noise would wake her up for a while.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_02: I had our dog in the bed with me, and I could fully be in a dream, the dog would shift, I would pause that dream, have a full cohesive thought about what just happened in the outside world around me, and then go back to that dream.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_02: It there are so many times pre-diagnosis that I didn't feel like I was asleep.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like I closed my eyes, and at some point the alarm went off and I opened my eyes, but I never hit that sleep because I wasn't getting that REM.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: So even if you allotted yourself 12 hours to sleep, and oh yeah, uh-huh.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: You said I went to bed at 11 o'clock and I'm giving myself 12 hours and set an alarm or eight hours, whatever it is, it it's still not going to reach the REM state.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like you like, regardless, medicated, non-medicated, I'm assuming regardless, you have to have a an episode to actually hit REM, or do you have medication that will help you hit REM?
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: With the medication, I can hit REM at night, like I'm supposed to.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_03: Now, let's caveat that too.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_03: The medication was incredibly hard to get because it's not any, it's not like anything that you would see a commercial for.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, one pharmacy in the entire country makes it.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: It is a controlled substance.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: She has to be home to sign for it.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: When it comes, she has to remember to call it in every month.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_03: When she runs out of it, the entire world crashes.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_03: For instance, she's out of it right now because of a glitch with the doctor.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_03: I called on Saturday, and I always wait until like 11 at least to call her on weekends.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_03: So I call her on Saturday.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_03: It's 320 something.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: And she's like, hello.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, good God, child, did you just get up?
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: And she's like, yeah.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: I assume that you thought that it was probably like 11 or 12.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, Dan, I can't, it's 3:30.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: And she was like, oh shit.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_03: Had no idea.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I will also say, when she would get into that afternoon, oops, kids slept on the couch more than anyone I've ever known in my life that's not couch surfing.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: I would find her on the couch all the time asleep when I got home from work.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_03: She was hard to wake up.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_03: This is one of my favorite stories besides the Jingle Bells one.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm at work.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_03: She's old enough to be home alone.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_03: Steve's at work.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_03: There's a tornado coming.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_03: A whole ass tornado.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_03: Like touching down near my neighborhood where my kid is at home.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: I call her cell phone.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like five times.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: I call the neighbor.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_03: The irony of this is the woman who went over is now her grandmother-in-law.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_03: Because she married the neighbor boy.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_03: But so Lynn comes over, bangs on the door for like five minutes until the weather started getting crazy.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_03: Calls me back and goes, Donna, I tried.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_03: She will not wake up.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_03: I can see her through the window on the couch.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_03: Literally can sleep through a tornado.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_03: And we proved that.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_03: We did.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_03: We so proved it.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_03: Didn't mean to.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: And then like later I was like, bro.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_03: And she's like, what do you mean?
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's yeah.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_03: She was gone.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_02: Dead to the world.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: She's like the kind that you could pick up the arm and drop it and it's just flop.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_03: We we never were like, I watched my friends with little people, like little ones, so carefully like transferring them from their car seat to the bed.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_03: I could have just yeeted her and she would have been fine.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_03: Because once she's gone, she's gone.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's over.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_03: It just like she would never wake up when we moved her place to place.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_03: We could have dressed her up and drawn penises on her face.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, we would have never done that, but you know what I mean.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_03: But great at a party.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_03: Too bad you're not a party kid.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, I th I feel like you did do that because I feel like I have the pictures of it, but we'll talk about later.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: However, you know, yeah you you said something, John.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: I you said that she could just sleep through anything and not at night.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, well, sure, but where my mind went is you know, you're talking about how she could sleep through a tornado, and I thought, you know, would it be bad if I was able to sleep through today's America until it's not today's America?
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have questions about that.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_03: I hear you.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_03: It concerned me though, as a parent for when she left our house.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now, joke goes on me.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_03: She did not, and because of undiaged narcolepsy and undiagnosed ADHD at the time, did not choose to go to college.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_03: And that's okay.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: We weren't those parents that pushed that.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: We wanted to pursue what made her happy and find her own path.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_03: I was concerned about her going off to college and what could happen to her in one of those states of sleep.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_03: I I bet that that's a lot of why you're so controlled.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like Danica's never done drugs, she doesn't drink because she chooses not to, and she's just never been that kid.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_03: I I man, I was so concerned.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_03: And we have all these funny stories that if you and I think this gets back to the ish, right?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_03: Of everything, you can look at things through a lens of she could be really angry about this, right?
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_03: She could be angry that we didn't see the signs and figure out what the hell was going on.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: She's not, you're not, right?
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, she's not.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um I know, I know, right?
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: So this holds up in court.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: I already knew she wasn't.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: I just couldn't really tell everyone else.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um my feelings before I do.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that is true.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's a whole nother, yeah, that's funny, but yes, it she could be really mad, and instead, she's chosen to look at this really honestly shitty thing that impacted her entire formative years through a lens of humor.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: I have a video somewhere that we tried to find, and I don't know where the hell it is.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_03: She was doing Sing Star.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_03: This was PlayStation 1.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: This is how old this is.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_03: Do you wanna?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I thought I was hot shit, so I wanted to record myself singing.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I think not even halfway through the song, I passed out, and the video keeps going.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember when I think you watched it back because you were scrolling through my pictures, because this was on my little point-and-shoot camera that was on my own.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what watching it back, and you can hear the like tone deaf or like the worst rating at the end of the song because I was out not even halfway through.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_03: And then the video is 40 minutes long of her just out cold, clutching a microphone.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: Danica, we can go viral again.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is if we find that video, we'll go viral.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, it's great.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you remember what you were singing?
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_02: Probably that one Henderson that one it was Lips of an Angel.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and my favorite part is they're like this, it was so old, and you're like PlayStation One.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't even know what that is, because I I don't do game stuff.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: We do.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I know, but like you're you're but when y'all are like PlayStation One is so old, I'm like, I do remember Nintendo and Safari.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so this was like 14 years ago, yeah, yeah.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_03: But when you said that's old, I'm like, um so so PlayStation 4 for run five, we're on five for reference, PlayStation 5.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_03: So it's four generations ago.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, just gonna put in context for him.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and how long is generations 20 years or I'm just getting kidding, I'm telling getting.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's all based on how old I need to be at the moment.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, so Danica, I want to ask you.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first want to say to you, like, I love, love, love how you've taken a disability, right?
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, it's something that could hinder life somehow.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you've taken it and you've embraced it and uh and you're controlling it and you're speaking out about it.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: So first I want to ask you, what can we do to a child's life?
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe maybe this person falling asleep isn't going through some kind of um family trauma because that's what that's what's gonna be associated with.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_03: So now we actually got accused of abuse, right?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, what can we do to make this be a part of the checkbox, right?
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like this child is is doing these things versus going straight to child trauma, maybe there's an a B option.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what would I'm not trying to put too much weight on your shoulder, right, with that question, but how what do what what are your thoughts on that?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think there I think assumptions is an issue in society as a whole.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so just like instead of assuming this is the cause for this, talk to the kid.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like most kids growing up, if you're expressing that you're there for them, that you want to help them succeed, they're gonna be open and tell you what's going on.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_02: I know that's not every situation.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: I know there are trauma situations where you don't feel like you can trust the adults in your life.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: But for most kids growing up in a normal circumstance, if you're open and coming from a place of concern and support, they're gonna tell you what's up.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you though, like if a teacher would have came to you and said, you fall asleep in class, you're falling asleep, stay, you're able to be in a corner standing up and still fall asleep, like what's going on?
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you didn't know that narcolepsy was a thing.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, I mean, what what would your response have been that could have made the teachers think that there was an abuse?
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_00: And and and I don't mean that in a way to put the pressure on the child, but I know that even in my adult life, people have come to me and and question things, and the responses I've had because of ignorance of something else looks different, right?
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so, so I guess like it's the ultimate question that no one's gonna have the answer to, but how can how can we reconcile and understand the fact that maybe something's happening to a child that maybe we just don't have enough education on, and maybe we shouldn't blame the parents just yet, you know?
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_00: But then that puts a lot of weight on the teachers of well, I didn't want to blame the parents just yet when the parent was a bad fucking parent, you know, like there's so many, it's just this ping-pong of shit.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_00: And and what makes me so upset with that is how many years did you have to go through your narcolepsy, disability, whatever, whatever what you want to put to it.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_00: How long did you have to go through that with stigmas or not enough information before you got to it, uh, before you figured out what it was, or was it even allowed to figure out what it was because they're like, well, we're not gonna diagnose this until you're 18.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_00: The most detrimental time of your life is those school years.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what really upsets me.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I'm not being very articulate on what I'm trying to say, and I apologize for that, but I just the thought of a child and the thought of like a family loving and supporting the child, and then now being questioned on how they parent when and what really upsets me about that too is the focus is going to be on your all's.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_00: And but Johnny next door is the one that really needed to have the focus, and no one gave a goddamn.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the part that pissed me off.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_03: Better questions.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry for the tangent.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, your thing, do you have something?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think going back to that from the perspective of a teacher seeing a student falling asleep, I think it's, yeah, like you said, the better questions of the kid may not know how to describe what's going on.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_02: So having that role of, hey, I've noticed this is what's going on.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_02: Here are some common reasons that could be.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_02: What is your perspective?
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_02: Do you feel like it's one of these things, or is there something else?
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think a little beyond that because children are so susceptible to wanting to give the right answer, feeling that pressure from an adult that they may say something that is not true that leads down the wrong path.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_03: So if the question is, hey, I've noticed that girl, you're not just falling asleep in class, you could sleep standing up, which is a talent to be sure.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_03: Can I ask you a couple of questions?
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have a normal bedtime?
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, my parents make sure I'm in bed by 8:30 every night, and they even take away my devices to make sure I'm not up playing games.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, cool.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_03: Do you stay asleep?
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh man, no, I always wake up and I get up and do X, Y, and Z.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, when do you sleep?
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_03: Man, I take damn good afternoon naps.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, what what I'm hearing is we need to believe the children.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, that's a different episode.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we're gonna end this here.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_00: Tune in next week for part two of Believe the Children.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, yeah.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_03: I've been in the uh court battle system as a child and um have experienced that myself.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I love that because here's the thing kids, regardless of age, it they know.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's like when you have a toddler and a mother and postpartum, and and the mother's like the kids always angry and and mad when when I'm holding him with her, but then dad gets them and all of a sudden they calm down because they sense and they feel, right?
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: And she was rude, she did that to me when she was a baby.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then stay tuned for part three of where Danica I'm just kidding.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: We totally could.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's crazy.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: But kids know, right?
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_03: Dogs know, yes, just because they don't have the verbiage, the words to say it doesn't mean I mean absolutely and here's yes, listen to the children in fourth grade, very into fourth grade, third grade.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_03: Her oh man, ootah hoota.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_03: Her teacher asked her if she was being sexually abused at home.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_03: She had chronic UTIs.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_03: We told her teacher at meet the teacher before class started.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_03: Pediatrician was aware it was something we were working on, we were dealing with blah blah blah blah, moving on.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_03: Danica said no, she still called CPS, like didn't even ask more questions, just when here we were in the middle of investigation.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_03: Because here's why I get torn with that.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do I think there could be maybe a a a second or third question?
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, sure.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want there to be people to say to a child 100% is this happening?
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: And regardless whether the answer from the child is yes or no, I want there to be follow-up questions because sometimes the child, like there are cases that I've studied where the child will blame the father and then come to find out it wasn't the father, it was the uncle.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, but the uncle had put so much fear into the child, the child was they've been groomed to A, think it's normal, B feel threatened to say anything.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_03: But the way that Danica said it to that teacher, she was clueless.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_03: That was even a thing that existed.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_03: When asked more questions, she was like, like it was obvious that there was not a tiny bit of doubt that there was no problem.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, after the investigation, the social worker apologized to us.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she was like, I knew that Dan I didn't know.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_00: And no doubt, no doubt with that.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, believe the kids, and actually, you know what?
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like kids that much.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a kid magnet though.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_03: And the reason is because I don't need to speak to my I do that to dogs real bad.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_03: I don't do that to kids.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_03: We have a 13-year-old nephew who I adore.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_03: And he has been Auntie's boy since the first time I held him.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I've watched mom and dad get mad at him, and I'll be like, hey, dude, you get why they got mad, right?
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_03: Even six and seven, I would talk to him like that, and he'd be like, Yeah.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_03: And instead of shutting down, we'd have dialogue.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_03: We don't give kids credit for how much they comprehend and how much they know.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_03: And if you would have dialogue with them, you could find out a lot of stuff.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, ladies, I love this conversation.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, we could go on for hours and hours.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: And Danica, I'm so excited that I got to be a part of like your first podcast.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I think, well, I don't think, I know this will be an ongoing conversation, and that there's gonna be questions come in, and so you're always welcome here.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know we did not get to cover everything.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh Lord, we didn't talk.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_03: You know where I was going getting the diagnosis and that experience, yeah.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was I was gonna say, like, there's gonna be many parts to this.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I do think this is a a lovely place to end, and uh, and we'll keep picking up and and the listeners will send in questions and and we'll go from there.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: But because there's three of us, I did not get to ask you what your surviving ish we talked with Jonna and we went on a tangent about hers.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: So to end on a letter note, what is your surviving ish for the week?
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I have been working in call centers for the last seven years of my life.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh right, that part it it call center customer service as a whole is an ish, but it's just its own-ish.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have so many podcast ideas right now, right?
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_02: Just being exposed to the general public on its own, like that could be its own ish.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_02: I could talk about that for hours.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_02: But things like when I first started, filled me with joy was hearing, oh my god, thank you so much for listening.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_02: You're like the first person I've talked to that's actually listened and been able to resolve what I need or been actually helpful.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_02: And that filled me with so much joy when I was starting out.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_02: But seven years later, you start to go, why am I consistently hearing this?
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I the only helpful person in this call center?
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_03: What the hell are the rest of you people doing?
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_02: What is this?
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_02: Or still on that call center, it's when I'm taking calls and I'm not a super personal person when I'm working.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'll be friendly, I'll be peppy, but I want to get you what you need and get on to the next call.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_02: But when the person comes on and I do my da-da-da-da, welcome, welcome, what can I help you with?
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_02: Payment.
• 1:03:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, will that be credit card or a bank account?
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_02: Credit card when it's only like one or two word responses for the whole conversation.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_02: I am a person at the end of the day.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you get that they think that you're actually still the automated system.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a human that you've gotten to.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_03: How many times?
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because I've done this too, we're the same company, different department.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_03: So this is funny.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_03: How many times have you gotten?
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_03: Are you real?
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_03: I used to get that all the time.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so Danica, I uh totally respect that and and totally get that.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_00: I did telemarketing and customer service.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm I'm still on cover customer service, just a different type now.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I have had the same grievances as as you've had.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_00: However, I'm noticing that the grievances are changing.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's AI, because back when I was doing it, there wasn't any of that.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was maybe an operator that's like, press one for English, you know what I mean?
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_03: And then you get a person, right?
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what I learned to do is press 00000 and then five.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_03: I actually advised people to do that fairly regularly.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_03: Did you know?
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_03: They've caught on and they've changed that.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_03: You know what the new one is?
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_03: Just start saying the F-word repeatedly.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_03: You will actually get a person.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so Danica, my response to you that's gonna lead into uh Jana, what you just said is I always go above and beyond to be nice, even to the automated, you know, and I think my Alexa, okay.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you just start so many people's design devices off.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I said the A one, not the S one, because I have the S one.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that there's you know, when you have like we learn in repetition, right?
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_00: So even in a minute that you have of one answer, yes, no, press one, English, Spanish, customer service, whatever.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_00: By the time that you get to a real person, you're already trained to just say, yes, no, customer star, you know, and it takes a minute to get out of there.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_00: There was this video I was watching on TikTok, and there was a hospital room full of actors who were patients, and a patient came, a true patient who did not know, came in and signed in and sat down.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, like every few seconds, a little ding would happen and everyone would stand up.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_00: And at first, she was looking at them all and was like, and then within a few minutes, she felt out of the norm.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_00: So every time that the ding would happen, she started standing up with them, not knowing they were paid actors to do that.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well then all the paid actors left, and it was her in a room by herself.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_00: And another person came in and sat down who was not a paid actor.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_00: And within a few moments, there was a ding, and she stood up.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_00: So she continued to mimic that.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I think is happening right now.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that is not minimizing the grievance for the people on the other end with you.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, what do we do to change that?
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 1:06:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I you've got to throw a real word in there to let them know that you're real.
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I think part of it is, can you do your customer service voice for just a moment?
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's this is part of the problem with her.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the company I work for.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Danica Clark.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_01: And to get started, can I get your account number or your social?
• 1:06:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_03: And mine was thank you for calling company I work for.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_03: This is Jonna.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_03: May I ask who I'm speaking with today?
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_00: Both have well, well, and but but the thing is, is but you also can't go, hey girl, Hank! Yeah, AI is trained on how these corporations train us.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_03: And it's getting better and better or worse and worse, scarier and scarier.
• 1:07:18
  SPEAKER_03: She actually thought about AI being her ish.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_03: And we could have a she's in the job market right now looking.
• 1:07:27
  SPEAKER_03: And so, dude, we could do a whole nother episode on how much she hates AI.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm not mad at it because uh Jana is, I mean, she's in every other episode with me.
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, can be on every fifth episode.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, she's having to learn how to use AI and go against everything that she hates right now.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I get so torn because AI helps me out a lot.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm uh a a one-man band and AI really helps me.
• 1:07:59
  SPEAKER_03: One man and two part-time women's I want well, right?
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to be I want my goal is to be to a place where I can re replace AI with people that I can pay uh uh a livable wage to.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_00: But what's gonna happen is I'm gonna get so used to AI, and AI is going to advance to where I'm not going to hire being out of college to do this work because my AI is already doing it.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that scares me.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_03: I gotta AI is why I got such a good grade on my most recent stats, and not because I cheated before any of you go there.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_03: I told it what tools I had.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_03: I put each question for my homework in, and I told it to tell me the steps, not the answer.
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_03: So it literally tutored me on how to do every individual thing, and it was great because this class is online, I don't have access to a professor right there with me, or a study group, or or or.
• 1:09:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it's so easy.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and that's a great point.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you said that.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like you told it, like, don't know the answer.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know how to get to the answer.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then, because uh because what what I do love about what I'm doing, um, and how I use AI is I provide it with the information.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_00: All I say is I want to make this all grammarally correct, right?
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um uh uh survivor awareness correct, like all those things, yes, and so it takes exactly what I said and just knows where to put the comma, and yeah, and and so that's what I appreciate.
• 1:09:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, I get that, yeah.
• 1:09:47
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all, I I've loved this conversation.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, we could when when it when decides that we're gonna have a 24-hour no-break live, y'all are the ones I'm contacting because we could totally do that.
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_00: We could fucking talk.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't have our maps, no, may take some naps, but you just said I may fall asleep, but we'll just let it happen.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and then I'll wake up at some point and be like completely new to the conversation.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_02: You can catch me up, like I'm part of it.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Recount for those here now, but if but if you're anything like your mother, you're gonna wake up and without knowing the conversation, you're gonna have an opinion and you're gonna state it.
• 1:10:26
  SPEAKER_03: So mine when it comes to that shit, bro.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_03: She is so mine.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be a really uh niche reference, but I uh joined the conversation in like a lunch break at high school once, and I'm in front was friends with a bunch of nerds.
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_02: They were talking about an anime called Attack on Titan, and I just jumped in, sat down, didn't hear a word of their conversation.
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Spoiler alert, everybody dies, and they're like, Yeah, that's what we're talking about.
• 1:10:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm dead.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's so Danny.
• 1:10:57
  SPEAKER_03: Was this as um anxiety-ridding and nerve-wracking as you had made it?
• 1:11:03
  SPEAKER_02: Uh no, I honestly I'm gonna be real.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_02: I kind of forgot to think about it because no, this was great.
• 1:11:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was just like talking.
• 1:11:15
  SPEAKER_02: I you're here, so it was easy for me, but just oh, and is David not like Tyler and Blaine?
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like Blaine, so much Blaine.
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, you remind you remind me of a hybrid of two of our friends.
• 1:11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, do you sing?
• 1:11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I do.
• 1:11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Danica, thank you uh so so much for sharing.
• 1:11:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you do it just right, but I can never do it when I'm I don't know, but I saw the hearts earlier, they were floating out when we did it.
• 1:11:42
  SPEAKER_03: Let's do it again.
• 1:11:43
  SPEAKER_00: But Danica, thank you.
• 1:11:45
  SPEAKER_00: So please come back, and it will be because I so this episode, I don't know the release date, but the first episode of Ish is not gonna be released until like what three days from now.
• 1:12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:12:05
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a it's gonna be a month or two before this is released, but there's gonna be some questions come in, and we even through this episode found topics to discuss.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh Lord, I don't we always I adore you, you I love you, I love your mom.
• 1:12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um I love her too.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'll she cool, like I love her mom, but yeah, feel free to join anytime and and and let's talk things.
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because what I think is so great is I'm from a younger generation than your mother.
• 1:12:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like your mother, your mom is a lot older than I am.
• 1:12:41
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, why'd you say a lot?
• 1:12:43
  SPEAKER_03: I said Jen and I are like the same age.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh well, honey, and Jenny is a lot.
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so you're more older than me than I realized.
• 1:12:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Jen and I are the exact same age.
• 1:12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm I'm so young.
• 1:12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think Danica is older than I am.
• 1:13:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're 26.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, I'm 23.
• 1:13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
• 1:13:07
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, he's a dirty lying whore.
• 1:13:09
  SPEAKER_03: And uh okay, yeah, that little bit of gray in his beard is totally belief.
• 1:13:12
  SPEAKER_02: What's the titism?
• 1:13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what's gonna happen.
• 1:13:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do a retake.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say, and I'm 23, and I'm gonna turn the camera off where everything stops, okay?
• 1:13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just kidding.
• 1:13:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I adore you.
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you both so so much.
• 1:13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, such fun conversations that'll be happening in the future.
• 1:13:32
  SPEAKER_00: We can end this now.
• 1:13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And Jana, thank you for spending today with me because we've recorded for like five hours total.
• 1:13:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm you know, five hours of signing up for four classes and then trying out you know kind of balances out life, makes it better for sure.
• 1:13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And Danica, if you or your friends are not following ish, surviving-ish are social a damn thing, homie.
• 1:13:57
  SPEAKER_00: All the things tell them to do it.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I need you to do: every time you go to a party, a gathering, whatever, grab people's phones, uh, find surviving ish and hit follow.
• 1:14:08
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be fine.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_02: You're talking to the wrong person.
• 1:14:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't leave the house if I don't got it.
• 1:14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, can I tell you that I told people about our podcast at when we were young festival in Vegas?
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_03: You're welcome.
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because I'm not released an episode in almost three months now because of the legal shit.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Bullshit.
• 1:14:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she knows.
• 1:14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I got notification today that so Buzz Brout notifies me in a week of downloads, and my numbers keep going up.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I got notification that I received 2,044 downloads in one week.
• 1:14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was pimping us hard.
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Ah.
• 1:14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was the check is in the mail, Danica.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Check is in the mail.
• 1:14:57
  SPEAKER_03: No, it was me, not her.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Ew.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Even there.
• 1:14:59
  SPEAKER_00: But let's be honest.
• 1:15:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you get a check in the mail, Danica's gonna get a little bit of reap of the benefit.
• 1:15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're that kind of mom.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_00: We already know she'll go with me while I buy books.
• 1:15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm asking you like yesterday.
• 1:15:11
  SPEAKER_03: That's what we did all day yesterday.
• 1:15:13
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_00: It was great.
• 1:15:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love you both.
• 1:15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.