Latest / Classic Metal Show / Is The “Douchiest Guitarists” List Really About Guitar Playing? (2013 Archive)

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Is The “Douchiest Guitarists” List Really About Guitar Playing? (2013 Archive) · Classic Metal Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is Derek from Scour, and you're watching CMS-TV.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's Yngwie Malmsteen right here on your classic metal show with Heaven Tonight.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: And just before that, we heard Poison.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: With Life Goes On.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this is Neely Rockin' with your classic metal show.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: And apparently there was an article written over at the Village Voice about
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: the top ten quote-unquote douchiest guitar players.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I saw this.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: You had posted this on the Facebook.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And somebody by the name of Nate Jackson.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Guilty.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he doesn't sound like a guilty party to me,
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: but Nate Jackson says, Hey, we all appreciate quality guitar god.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do we all appreciate that?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't especially, but okay.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone who considers themselves a fan of music knows the joy
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: of watching their favorite Axeman or woman sing.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Go on a tear and destroy the crowd with their fast-fingered prowess,
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: signature style, and lush mane of flowing hair.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Goddamn, that thesaurus should have got paid extra for those words.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Lush mane of flowing hair.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: Lush mane of flowing hair.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeehaw.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Last time I saw it, Joe Satriani didn't have a lush mane.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, he really doesn't.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't think so.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's the textbook rock and roll sexy factor that has been selling concert tickets,
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: signature guitars, and posters for decades.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: The sexy factor.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: The sexy factor.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's why people go to see Kiss or go see ACDC because Angus
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: and Malcolm Young both have that sexy factor going on for that.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's why everybody buys those Zach Wild fucking signature guitars, right?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: The sexy fact.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway,
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: he says that,
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: but when you're a world-class guitar player and you know it,
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: there's a fine line between sexy and, well, douchey.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know...
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: The rocker who poses on his knees for just a little too long gives us just
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: a little too much O face during every solo and is hell-bent
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: to show us all how many guitars he or she can play at once.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in your experience, Mr. Akin, and I know you've gone to many concerts.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: I've been to three so far.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: How many times have you seen a guitarist on stage play multiple guitars at the same time?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Two.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not that frequent.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, with the exception of the occasional...
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Acoustic guitar that's plugged in,
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: they got the electric behind it,
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: and they play the acoustic solo at the beginning of a song, and they rip in.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've seen Tesla do that in Cinderella.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's exactly who I was thinking of.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Frank Hannon from Tesla does that.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he does that.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: What's his name from Cinderella?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Tom Kiefer.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: No, not Tom, the other guy.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff Labar.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff Labar does that on Coming Home.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he comes with the acoustic solo and then kicks up with the regular guitar, but...
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it happens rarely.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, not often.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like they come out on stage with numerous guitars strapped
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: on around their neck and they're trying to play two and three guitars at once.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the only one that does that,
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: I guess, is the Cheap Trick guy with his fucking, like, 12-neck guitar or whatever.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: Right, which is just a prop.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a prop.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: History, namely the 80s, is full of these guys.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: But douchey guitar player disease, also known as DGPD.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: DGPD?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: Douchey guitar player disease.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: So would that make Tim, what would he be, a DCCP?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Douchey caller with cerebral palsy?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: Something.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Something.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Is still a scorage.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's a scorage.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: On the music industry today.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've heard so many people complain about the fact
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: that their favorite guitar god is up there playing a solo for them.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's a scorage.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's a scorage on society, bitch.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: With that in mind,
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: we'd like to present our list of the top ten Douchiest guitar players of all time.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Bring them on.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: Number 10.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: John Mayer.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: I would definitely go for that vote.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I'm going to be honest.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't know that much about John Mayer.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: I know he's kind of like a, he's, he's popular with the younger crowd.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, John Mayer certainly wouldn't want to listen to him play guitar.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: Would certainly like to be reincarnated as his penis.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: That man fucks a lot of fucking hot celebrity chicks.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, again, I don't really know much about this guy personally.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know him as a guitarist.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, as far as his ability.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't tell you if I've ever even heard John Mayer play, to be honest with you.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you have, but maybe some songs you don't realize is him.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm saying.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't even tell you if I've ever heard him.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't know.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't be able to go, hey, isn't that John Mayer?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, I wouldn't be either.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't be able to do that.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: If there's one current artist who revolutionized the art of the sour face...
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: While playing even the simplest of riffs, it's John Mayer.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Don't care about John Mayer.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Skip to number nine.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yngwie Malmsteen, number nine.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're talking about somebody we can talk about.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: This guy was the most technically accomplished guitarist to come out of the 80s.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Don't agree, but okay.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Period.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Period.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't agree.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do you agree with that?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: He was definitely different than most.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he played a different style than most of your shredders.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Most technically accomplished out of the 80s.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Don't agree.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: John Petrucci.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, and you know I hate fucking Dream Theater.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: I know you do.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: But that guy's certainly a better, more accomplished, technical player than Yngwie.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yngwie's just a fucking noodler.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: He also gave us the runs.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, not those runs.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: We mean the lightning-fast neoclassical wankery
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: that had this guy thinking he was
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: the second coming of Bach, only with guyliner and better hair.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, God.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: While Sweden has turned out its share of douchey metal madmen
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: in tight leather pants,
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Malmsteen is arguably the most extreme character of the Euro guitar god.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, I'm gathering this just from reading the first two descriptions.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: They're not really knocking their ability or their...
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know,
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: to be able to play,
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: they don't like the facial or the body movements that they make
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: while they play their guitar.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's a fashion contest.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really not about their ability or how they play.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's how they look while they're doing it.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's what this boils down to.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: And he's writing for what?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: The Village Voice?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: It figures.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: Esteban.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: Esteban.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Now that guy's a douchey guitarist.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Again, don't know much about him.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Come on, man.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: You've never seen those commercials at two in the morning?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, I'm Escobar.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: No, I haven't.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'll teach you to play in only 14 lessons.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think I've seen that.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: He's a fucking douchebag.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you've ever come home drunk at 4 a.m.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: and stared at the infomercial for half an hour, chances are you've seen this guy.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've got to be honest, I don't recognize him.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm well acquainted with Esteban.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Your first thought,
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: who is this mysterious man in black and how did he learn to play guitar like that?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was my first thought.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Turns out that the dashing Axeman...
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: And the bolero hat in shades is none other than Esteban,
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: the lord of the Spanish guitar,
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: who is about as overly suave and mystical as they come.
• 10:03
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• 10:07
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• 11:04
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• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: He's like that fucking Dos Equis commercial guy.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: He's like to guitar what the Dos Equis guy is to beer.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: So suave he doesn't even need a last name.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Aside from the overwhelming cheese factor in each of his videos...
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: There's the fact that a white guy from Pittsburgh,
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: real name Stephen Paul,
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: would command a Spanish name and go parading around like a wannabe Zorro.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's fucking hilarious.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: See, you're not familiar with them to see them, man.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's fucking hilarious.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just going to have to take their word for it.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Number seven.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Tim James is not going to like this.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Rick Nielsen.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, neither is Michael Butler.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Michael Butler is going to be devastated to hear that Rick Nielsen's a fucking douchebag.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Remember the days when one neck on a guitar seems sufficient?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if you're cheap trick guitarist Rick Nielsen,
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: apparently the art of 80s FM power pop requires a lot more.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Known more for his wacky guitars than his actual ability to play them,
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: the most famous images
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: of Nielsen are him holding his five-neck behemoth custom-built by a hammer.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, that's a fucking misstatement all by itself.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: That that guy's not an accomplished guitar player?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Please.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: At age 66...
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: We're a little worried he's going to throw his back out trying to play this thing
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: if he hasn't already.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: And come on, what does it really add to anything he plays in a band?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Can you say overcompensating?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: See, this person writing this article, this isn't about the...
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: Instrument itself.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's about the showmanship.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: And this fucking knob probably couldn't name three fucking cheap trick songs.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: So this is just to add to the show.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: It has nothing to do with the tone of the guitar or that it sounds different or
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: the fact that each neck has something to add to the music.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's just goofy props.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well...
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: As is this guy.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: He's a goofy prop in
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: that magazine.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's just to add the silly factor to the show.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: How much do you think this guy was like,
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just going to write a list and I'm going to put a bunch of names
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: that people know in it and that'll get people to fucking react to it.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is no more than Spinal Tap goofing on Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page using a bow
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: on his guitar and instead in Spinal Tap they use the whole violin.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's basically what Rick Nielsen is doing with the multi-neck guitars.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's just for show.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's just silliness.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: This guy doesn't get it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a show.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: The next one here is your favorite.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Who?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: CeCe DeVille.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: He is a talent.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: At number five.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: He's very much a talent.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: You love it.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: He fucking stinks.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: How did this guy ever have a career?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: He, MTV.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: But that's it because he couldn't play for shit.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: I almost couldn't play as good as that fuck.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Poison wouldn't be in the position they weren't if they didn't come along at
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: the exact right time and capitalized on the MTV wave.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: I agree with that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Of all the shredders and the LA glam metal scene,
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: watching CeCe DeVille on stage always felt like we were getting a one-way ticket
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: to Clown Town.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, I'm going to agree with that.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'll agree with that statement.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Still, one of the most egregious 80s cliches in the rock world today,
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: the poison guitarist was not just a douche for his playing and his looks.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: His behavior and addictions definitely gave him the reputation of being among
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: the biggest egomaniacs to ever pick up a guitar in the 80s.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'd agree with that.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: And even when you can look like the bigger douche when he's standing next to Brett Michaels.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you deserve to be a shoe in for the list.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's stumbling around high on stage,
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: getting in fistfights with band members offstage,
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: his ability to be taken seriously as a guitarist is due only to the fact that
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: the dude can riff for days.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's what he says.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: He can riff for days.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: This guy's a fucking idiot.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: CeCe DeVille cannot play guitarist for shit.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: He is not an accomplished guitarist.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: He absolutely is an awful guitarist.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: In this clip, he appears to be so impressed with himself that he pissed his own pants.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's pleasant.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know and I know...
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: That I have a history with C.C.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: DeVille.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: You do?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: You've had problems?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, not necessarily problems, but notorious dealings with him.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Back in the metal sludge days.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, even to this day when he sees me.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: He told me specifically, dude, I know you and I like you, but I can't talk to you.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously, that's what he has said to me.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: He won't talk to you?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, he won't talk to me because of all that trouble he got into a few years ago
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: for doing that interview with me.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's too funny.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Another band you almost
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: broke up.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm responsible.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Number four,
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: and I disagree with this one,
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: but I pretty much almost disagree with this whole thing.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Stupid premise.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: This whole premise.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Number four, Joe Satriani.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he sucks.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: If he didn't come off as so quiet and low-key, the godfather of cheeseball 80s guitar lines.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Cheeseball 80s.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: When I think 80s guitarist, I don't think Joe Satriani.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: When I think cheeseball ones, I start with like Mick Mars or fucking...
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: The dudes from Warrant or CC?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think Joe Satriani.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: No, not at all.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: 80s cheese ball guitar lines might even deserve an even higher place on this list as
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: the founding of the Wank Fest that is the G3 tour.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Did you ever go see a G3 tour?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: I saw the one with Eric Johnson and Satch and Vi.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: See, you must have been to the same one.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was at like the Cleveland...
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: The Nautica.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I saw one at one of the theaters in Cleveland.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: I saw it at Nautica.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever seen the world's most accomplished guitarists get on stage
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: and spit riffs on each other for hours on end?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's great.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't see them spit riffs at each other.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, me either.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's basically what it is.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Aside from his history as a guitar teacher who instructed some of
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: the most ever indulgent headbangers in the world,
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Kurt Hammett, Yngwie Malmsteen, Steve Vai, and more.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Satriani is probably one of the few people on this list that can say he had
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: a douchey song that had an indirect influence
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: on douchey award-winning music decades later, courtesy of Coldplay.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: How
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: about this?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: The guy can also play in a straight-up band.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: You may remember the copyright infringement suit Satriana filed against the band in
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: the 2008 over their song Viva La Vida.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: So that makes them a douche?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it makes them a douche, which won Song of the Year at the 2009 Grammy Awards.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Turns out the central riff in that song sounds
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: a lot like his exponentially cornier 2004 track, If I Could Fly.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: This guy makes me just want to hit somebody.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Both parties settled out of court.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if there's no case there, why did they settle out of court?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: One final note.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone who listens to his music in the car will automatically feel like they're in
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: the movie Top Gun.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Satriani,
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think he deserves a little more respect than your,
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: quote unquote, your cheeseball guitarist.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would say so.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah, the guy can fucking play.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is a guy that I would have never expected to be on the list because he was
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: a flash in the pan and he didn't have what I would consider a Notable or even
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: a long career.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, who?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Michelangelo Badio.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: That guy should be number one on the list.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: That guy sucked.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: In the pantheon of double guitar playing riffmeisters,
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: none are equally as spellbinding and laughable as Michelangelo Badio.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with that.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he was horrendous.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, regardless, but the thing is, I'm surprised anybody remembered him.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: Just think about what a horrendous band that was.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: You had that guy on guitar and you had fucking Jim Gillette.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: On vocals?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Vocals.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: Eek.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Nitro was terrible.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see here.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: So much so that winning the Guitar World Reader's Choice poll of
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: the fastest guitarist of all time in 2011 almost feels like an insult.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Who else could they possibly have picked to even compete against MABs?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: How about Doug Marks?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's another one.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: That guy had instructional tapes out the wazoo.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: He had all them instructional tapes.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, he was never in a band of any merit.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, not at all.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: There is no competition, sometimes riffing on as many as four guitar necks at a time.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Batio basically made an entire career on being a selfish prick who didn't want
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: a rhythm guitarist stealing the spotlight.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, good for him.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: How many rhythm guitarists have stolen the spotlight that you're aware of?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: One.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Two.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Two.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Max Cavalera.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: And James Hetfield.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Those would be the two.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: Does anybody else?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Selfish prick.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they all suck.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Next time you want to laugh hysterically,
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: check out the guitarist series of instructional DVDs called Speed Kills,
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: which also doubles as a manual on how to look like you just stepped off
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: the Sunset Strip in 1984.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's very nice.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on a second.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: You guys out?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Going to bed?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: My audience is leaving.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: They can't handle the late night.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Holy smokes.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's only, what, 20 minutes to midnight or 20 minutes to one?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Boo on YouTube.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Bye, guys.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: See you guys.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Was that a talking metal toast?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: It was a talking metal toast.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: You're damn right.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and when you watch him double teaming two shafts.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, God.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is that a sexual reference?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think it is.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Ernex on his guitar in this clip.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: Try not to let your head explode.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Brother.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Two shafts.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: Two shafts.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: I get it.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Double teaming two shafts.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's a dick joke.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: I got it.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this one is Sacrilege.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: All right, go ahead.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: Number two.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Eddie Van Halen.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: How can Eddie Van Halen ever be a fucking douche?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Ask any show-stealing rock star in training what their most influential song is
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: and see how long it takes them to say Eruption.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: This could very well be the douchiest,
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: most soulless, overindulgent solo in American rock history.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: And in case you were wondering,
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: you can play every meandering,
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: nonsensical note in this entire 11-minute opus,
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: but if you can't pull it off while sliding across a catwalk stage,
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: then face it, bro, you're just a wannabe douche.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:40
  Okay.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: What a, this guy's a tool.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: He's a fucking idiot.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know he just wrote this to get reaction.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, and he's getting it here on the Classic Metal Show tonight.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly right.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: And number one, Steve Vai.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Steve Vai, the most quiet of all of them.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right, except when he was in DLR band.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: He was not even that loud then.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know,
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: but in those goofy videos for like Paradise and things like that,
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: he was kind of goofy.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right, with the double neck guitar, he was doing the hop step.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, plenty of guitar players can overplay and look really intense doing it,
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: but until Steve Vai,
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: we've never seen a guitarist actually manage to go up his own ass.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: While playing a triple neck guitar with his legs crossed.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: I still haven't seen that.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't either.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: You can almost feel how
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: insignificant he thinks you are with every note he plays.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: So he's just saying, look at this.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: You guys are piss ants compared to me.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: You are blessed to hear him even turn his amp on.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: Have we not had Steve on the show?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: Was he fucking anything but the most cordial nicest guy ever?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Just as nice as could be.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: And this guy calls him out as being a pompous dick.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, nothing, never met him, douchebag.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if these facial expressions alone during the entirety
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: of his six-minute clip don't earn him the top spot on this list,
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: then please tell us who deserves it more.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: What I'm surprised is they didn't throw a George Lynch in there.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: George Lynch could have been in there.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Mick Mars could have been in there.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the guy looks fucking dead.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: He should have been in there.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: He's an 80s guitarist.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's several.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Angus Young.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: How's Angus Young not making it?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, well, just going back to George Lynch alone.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: He's right up there with the whole guys with the whole tongue out and finger in
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: the neck and all that stuff.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hail and kill caller.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: You're on the air.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is the most full of shit fucking list ever.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, first of all, lists suck.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we all know that.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what the fuck's purpose does a list serve?
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: But also, like, douchebags?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, douchebags means you treat people like shit and everything.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Half these fucking guys are decent fucking source.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Yngwie and Eddie Van Halen Should be one and two on that list,
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: if you're talking about pure douchebags.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for ten seconds?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Got the sound clips back?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Nice fucking job.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: All right, handle and kill, fuck you, pal.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Hand job!
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, you are arrogant, hot-tempered, entirely too bold.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: You, like, totally deflated him.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: He called in here just to be part of the show and add something to it,
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: and then you just, like, blew him out of the water.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: Whoops.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about being an arrogant prick.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: He's just like, oh, got the clips back.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, handjob, I'm out of here.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Look what you did to your friend, M.O.L.,
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Just hang your head in shame.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm very shamed here.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: God.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: So there we go.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Got an email here.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: Is it from fucking Mark?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a short one.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have a Mark Nero email?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's been months.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, I do not.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, too bad.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: New listener to the show.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Go, Chris.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not sure what the shoe story is.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds as though the lost... Let's see what it made.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds as though... Oh, as though he lost them, but at least he didn't have...
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Your shoes.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: When we were mentioning the shoe story.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds as though he lost them,
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: but at least he didn't have 150 people on the beach looking for his panties.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I lost my shoes.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: You can look back in the podcast.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to retell that story.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: No, that was a good one.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: It was a good one, but it'll be fucking half as good this time.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Hail and kill caller.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're on the air.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, guys.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, That guitar thing, it just basically underlines my problem with blogs.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this was in the Village Voice.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is credible news.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: This cat is just some dude.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can tell he gets all his information from TMZ and VH1 Classic.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_03: And those funky Where Are They Now shows.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: So he has no first-hand experience, in your opinion?
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think he doesn't know a whole lot about music, really.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, just some of the stuff,
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_03: like the Cheap Trick one,
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_03: for example,
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_03: you can tell he just, like Chris said, he probably knows the flame, and that's it.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: Probably true.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_03: And he saw some YouTube clips,
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_03: or better yet,
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: probably somebody steered into him,
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: and he's watched a few of those dumb VH1 Top 40 Top 40 of this and that countdowns.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: And again, he's just some dude writing a blog.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, people tell me sometimes,
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_03: oh, you're so funny, you're such a good writer, you should get a blog.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, why would I want that when I'd be out there competing with a sea of these jerks?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: But he'll probably get a book deal and a job at Spin for Rolling Stone.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're probably right.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's the type of people who do get picked up because they just, I don't know.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what it is,
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: if it's because they go against the grain or because somebody thinks
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: that they're insightful and witty.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_03: He kind of has that Chuck Klosterman thing going on, but even Chuck Klosterman, you know, he...
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_03: He knew what he was talking about,
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: even when he pretended he was just trashing everything in sight.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: Just because he thought he was being clever.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he did get a job at the New York Times.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: He did?
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he went from writing for the Akron Beacon Journal to moving to New York City
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: and writing for the New York Times.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: Well, good for him, I guess.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's the last I heard of him.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think what put him over the top Was his article he wrote about our good friend Rockin' Randy.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously,
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: he did.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: He did write.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_02: I just pulled that up literally a week ago.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: Well, personally, I think his crowning achievement is Fargo Rock City.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: People like that book.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: I like it.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's weird because,
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: just reading the first chapter,
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_03: his epiphany,
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_03: his eureka moment with Motley Crue pretty much mirrored mine
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: with Guns N' Roses five years later.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, Chuck is a fan.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he is a fan, but I think he likes to do a little quirkiness with it, you know?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sometimes it seemed like he was trying too hard.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: But like I'm saying, this guy doesn't even seem like he's much of a fan.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, he's just some guy who's just writing an article.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think he really cares.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: But no, he hit it right on the head with Michelangelo beat off.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm surprised that he was even able to pull him up as one on the list,
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: because who really remembers that guy?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_03: He does a lot of stuff as far as, I guess, endorsements.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: He's big in the behind-the-scenes guitar world, I guess.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_03: And he has instructional videos, just like Esteban.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: By the way, somebody I know bought the Esteban guitar.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: It looks like shit.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: Is his name Doghouse?
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, man.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: You really bought the Esteban guitar?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_03: No, it wasn't me.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_03: It was my uncle, actually.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, nice.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_03: I have nice guitars.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's fucking hilarious.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: Just one more for you, Chris.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_03: Rhythm guitarist who stole the show.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: What about Scott Ian?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that is true.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: He definitely stole the show from Anthrax.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good one.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: And you could also throw in your close personal friend, John Schaefer.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: Who is that guy?
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is he in a band or something?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: He's in that band Baked Alaska or whatever they are.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_03: Baked Alaska.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: Can't say I've heard of them.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: They got the songs that go... Oh, Blind Guardian.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's the one.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's them.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_03: Who?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_03: Demons and Wizards or something.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Demons and Wizards.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's all I got for now.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: All right, doghouse.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: Stay tuned.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck you, pal.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Stay tuned.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Stay tuned.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: Stay tuned.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_02: Who?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus, Ray.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_02: Glad to have you back.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_02: Good to hear from you, Ray.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: That made me laugh because I was actually listening to a archive show.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think I woke up at like four o'clock in the morning.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: And the CMS archives was playing.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: And one of those rev was playing and we got the one where he was going,
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want you FCC nuts writing me because our signal goes straight through Canada
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: and we don't have to worry about that, you know, FCC nuts.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, we got you covered.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: We got you covered.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, these guys are so retarded.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: The rev.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's like FCC.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: I miss the Rev.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: Can we just pull up his old shows and just fucking goof on them like they're new?
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: FCC nuts.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: FCC nuts.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, how about the classic metal show?
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: What about them?
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: What about them?
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's like so funny.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, dude, we have always run a legal show.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: Always.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Always have.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: I know because I pay the royalty bill every month.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: And you know he never paid royalties.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: Of course not.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I still do.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: His ego was to go through Canada so he wouldn't have to pay $20 a month or whatever.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it was $35 at the time.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: Is it more now?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's like $40 now.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is it?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I've been paying it ever since we started this, what?
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Eight years ago?
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's like almost $40 a month.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's close to $500 a year.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we got you covered.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just for the royalty fees.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: We got you covered.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: We got you covered.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: We got you covered.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking dumbbell.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't even about the FCC.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was the RIAA.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Stupid.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_02: He was close.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: Don't want to hear anything from you FCC nuts.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, nothing.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_01: All right, dude.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let's take a break.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: And since this whole Michael Butler thing is going to be kind of long,
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think we ought to just jump into it.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in for that.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: Let's play a few songs first, though.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want you to go to sleep on me.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: You sound like you're fading on me.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: Not even a little bit.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's just being stoned.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a little bit mellow.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Is that what it is?
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: I love being stoned, but I'll go eat something and I'll be good.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody must get stoned.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_02: Dude, I got to say, this is the fourth time I've smoked weed in the last year.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I like it.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: I do like it.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can honestly say, and I know people are in the chat room because they bullshit, man.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: I never smoked weed in my life.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: Never even got a contact buzz.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not even.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: Never.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not even once.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: Not interested.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because of the legalities of it?
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's just not my thing.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've never been drunk.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's not true.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: I've got audio of that.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean drunk.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about little buzzed.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking like drunk.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've been a little buzzed or a little tipsy, as it were, but I've never been like...
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, blacked out.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: Unlike me.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: Never.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: Lives there.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's never happened.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: I've been.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard I've been.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: You can attest to that.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: November comes to mind.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: Was that November?
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: October, whatever, my birthday.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: It was November.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: November 17th.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's that we're counting the worst days ever in the history of the classic.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: A day that'll live in infamy.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: Or won't because there's fucking no audio.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank goodness.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: God.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: Thank goodness.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's too funny.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: All right, well, I'm going to play a tune that I like.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: All right, and then I'm going to ask for you to play a tune that I like.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_02: What are you going to play that you like?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I haven't played this in a while, and it's one of my favorite.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: I like...
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Axl Rudy Pell, Fly Me to the Moon.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good tune.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: I always dug that song.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm going to ask you to play behind it a tune that I like from a band
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: that I saw at Rock on the Range that just fucking killed it.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_02: I would like to hear Hailstorm doing Love Bites, and so do I.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_02: Because they were fucking probably my favorite band of Rock on the Range.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I loved them.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: You liked Hailstorm over Volbeat.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Set for set, yeah.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought Volbeat was great.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: Don't get me wrong.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: I thought Volbeat was great,
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: but they played a little short,
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_02: and they actually didn't play a lot of the – they played more new stuff.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: They only played 45 minutes,
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_02: and they played almost all new stuff instead of,
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know,
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_02: A Moment Forever or stuff like that,
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_02: Guitar Gangsters, Cadillac Blood, stuff like that that I wanted to hear.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: Who we are they did not play.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_02: Again, I'm nitpicking.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_02: If I saw full set, it would probably be Volbeat hands down, but I love the Hailstorm.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I like them too.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: Now, how's that singer look in person?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: Man, oh man.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: She's a good looking girl, man.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now she's got her hair kind of red instead of black or black.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: It was brown for a while, then it was black for a while.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's kind of like this reddish, like a natural red thing.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: She was through the tent.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_02: God damn it, she was looking good.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she was all made up.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then when she's on stage, she just fucking kills, man.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_02: That's a bad... You know what?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_02: I know some people don't think of them as metal,
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: and they think that they fucking ripped people off with the...
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: With the Grammy and whatnot,
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: but that's a band I like, and I don't give a fuck if that makes me unmetal.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_02: If that makes me unmetal, then cash in my fucking metal card, because I don't want it.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_02: If that makes me unmetal to like Hailstorm,
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think they're great.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: I have no problem with Hailstorm.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know them that well.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: I've never seen them live, but what I have heard of them, I like them.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_02: They're very good, man.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_02: Very good live band.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: They sound just like the record's live, which is cool.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like right up there in the Benedictine area.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a girl I'd like to see live too.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you might get to.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: I need to.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: Naked.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm going to play a few tunes and we'll come back and we'll get on this rock
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: and roll geek thing.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: So what is the hailstorm you want to hear?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: Love Bites.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Got it.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: Got it.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, here's Axl Rudy Pell with Fly to the Moon exclusively here on your classic metal show.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: Heavy Metal Warriors, are you ready to crank it up?
• 42:55
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• 42:59
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• 43:05
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• 43:08
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• 43:12
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• 43:16
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• 43:20
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• 43:23
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• 43:25
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• 43:29
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• 43:30
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• 43:33
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• 43:35
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• 43:38
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• 43:39
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• 43:41
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• 43:46
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• 43:51
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• 43:54
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• 43:56
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• 44:01
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• 44:06
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• 44:12
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• 44:14
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