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Embrace Mercy and Forgiveness | John Piper · Reformed Thinking

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We'll come along to the deep dive.
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This is where we grab a whole bunch of sources, could be
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articles, research our own notes, and basically boil them
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down to the key insights for you.
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The goal is pretty simple really, give you a clear path to
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getting genuinely informed, maybe with a few surprising bits
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and you know enough to chew on. Today we're doing what we call a
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reformed thinking deep dive. We're mainly looking at John
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Piper's thoughts from his piece Do not be angry, Embrace mercy
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and Forgiveness, right? And we've got some other notes
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and research mixed in, too. Our mission really is to unpack
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what Jesus taught about anger, about forgiveness, and, well,
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what discipleship actually looks like in practice.
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It's something that affects all of us, isn't it?
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Dealing with that anger. Sometimes it just floods in.
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And then trying to show grace when it feels really hard.
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It's a really vital conversation to have.
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What we're hoping to do is really think through how these
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scriptural truths aren't just, you know, theological ideas for
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debate, but how they actually connect to our everyday lives,
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the actual stuff we deal with. And as we get into it, you'll
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see that when we talk about handling anger, understanding
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God's mercy isn't just like a helpful tip.
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It's the absolute center. It's the bedrock reality that
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kind of shifts everything, our whole perspective, how we react.
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OK, so let's jump in then with this, well, pretty radical call
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to forgive. We can start with that exchange
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between Peter, you know, one of Jesus's inner circle and Jesus
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himself. It's in Matthew 18.
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Peter comes up and asks something that, you know, seems
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pretty fair. He says, Lord, how often will my
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brother sin against me and I forgive him as many as seven
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times. Now, if you think about that for
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a second, Peter offering to forgive someone seven times in
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that culture, that was how he sounded really generous.
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Wouldn't. It Oh, absolutely.
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More than generous, yeah. Forgiving someone not just once,
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but seven distinct times that's, I mean, that's way beyond what
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most of us might even think of doing naturally today.
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It shows he's willing to give quite a bit of grace.
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It really does. Peter's question shows he's
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thinking about it, you know, about how people keep messing
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up, how offenses happen again and again in relationships.
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He's wrestling with the practical side of forgiveness,
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right? But then Jesus's answer to this
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seemingly very generous offer from Peter?
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It's just startling. He says I do not say to you 7
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times, but 70 * 7. 70 times. Seven.
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Yeah, and it's really crucial to get this.
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He's not giving a maths problem here.
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You don't like start a tally chart and stop at 490.
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No, right? No, that's definitely not it.
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It's a, it's a figure of speech, you know, a way of saying
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unlimited, continuous, just boundless forgiveness.
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What Jesus is getting at is that forgiveness should just keep
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coming, no limit, no end point. It's about having an unending
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coster of mercy, more like a state of being than counting
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offenses. A state of being.
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Yeah, it's not just forgiving one thing, but cultivating a
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whole spirit of forgiveness. It just flows, reflecting God
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Himself. OK, but that command 70 * 7, it
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immediately makes you think, doesn't it?
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Because you know, in real life when someone hurts you, not just
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once, but again and again, like the 10th time, the 20th time,
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what feels like the 490th time. How on earth is that kind of
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boundless forgiveness even possible?
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It just feels impossible, way beyond our natural ability for
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patients. Yeah, it pushes us for sure.
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It really does. And that's the tension, the
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practical problem that Jesus then speaks right into.
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He doesn't just drop the command and walk away, He gives a path
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towards it through a story. He gets our limitations.
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Exactly. And what's really interesting
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here is how Jesus immediately connects this instruction, this
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seemingly impossible command, to the Kingdom of heaven.
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That's Matthew 18, 23. OK, the Kingdom.
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Yes, and linking it to the Kingdom tells us something super
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important. It tells us that overcoming
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anger through real, ongoing forgiveness isn't just some
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psychological trick for getting along better.
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Right, not just self help. Not at all.
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It's explicitly part of God's rule, his Kingdom, working in
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the lives of his people. It's not something we just drum
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up with willpower. This kind of forgiveness is God
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working in US. It's a direct result, a fruit of
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the forgiveness Jesus won for us with his own sacrifice.
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Remember, in Matthew 26 he talks about his blood being poured out
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for the forgiveness of sins. Right, right.
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So this boundless forgiveness, it's fundamentally a spiritual
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thing rooted in what God did first, not just us trying hard
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to live out 70 * 7 is to live out the reality of God saving
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work in your life. That's a really key difference.
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It shifts it entirely from my effort to God's work in me.
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Precisely. And that flows perfectly into
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this story, the parable of mammoth mercy, as some call it,
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the unforgiving servant. It's right there in Matthew 8.
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Tune verses 23 to 35. And it's Jesus's answer, isn't
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it, to Peter's question, OK, but how?
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How do I actually do this level of forgiveness?
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It illustrates the how. Yes, and Jesus starts this
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parable with a debt that is just staggering.
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He talks about a servant who owes his king 10,000 talents.
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10,000 Talents. Yeah, and to get a feel for how
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much that is, you need a little context.
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Yeah, think about King Herod, a pretty wealthy guy, right?
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His entire yearly income was maybe about 900 talents.
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Only 900? Wow.
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Yeah, or, you know, take the taxes from whole regions like
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Galilee and Paria. Back then, that only brought in
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about 200 talents a year. So 10,000 is astronomical.
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It's basically off the charts. It's almost incalculable by
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normal standards. The sources suggest Maybe Jesus
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was exaggerating massively on purpose, like saying a gazillion
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dollars today just to show an impossible amount.
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Or maybe it meant this servant was a really high up official
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who'd been skimming huge amounts off the top for years.
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Embezzlement on a grand scale. Either way, the point is it's a
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debt no human could ever possibly repay.
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It would take, I don't know, 10s of thousands of years for a
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normal worker to earn that. It's meant to show a debt beyond
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any hope of settlement. And then what happens is just as
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amazing, this act of pure grace, The servant, he's totally sunk
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that the King's talking about selling him, his wife, his kids,
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everything, just to get something back.
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He falls down, begs the master for patience, makes this kind of
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impossible promise to pay it all back.
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Which he obviously couldn't. Right.
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But then Matthew 18.27 says out of pity for him, the master of
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that servant released him and forgave him the debt, forgave
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it, all of it just wiped clean. And the forgiveness is as huge,
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as overwhelming as the debt itself.
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And that's the point, isn't it? Jesus wants you to see that our
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sin against God, the way we've ignored him, broken his ways,
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live for ourselves. That's an unbelievable debt.
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We could never pay it back. No amount of saying sorry or
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trying to be good could ever fix the dishonor.
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It's this mammoth mercy from the king, this incredible act of
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divine grace. It points straight to God
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forgiving us, totally undeserved, unearned, just
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breathtaking forgiveness. Yeah.
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Now this is where this story takes a really shocking turn.
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The servant who just got this incredible, undeserved, you
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think, heart melting forgiveness.
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Jesus doesn't say. He even says thank you.
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No mention of gratitude? None.
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Instead, the same servant walks out, finds another servant who
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owes him comparatively peanuts. 100 denarii.
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OK. How much is that?
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Well one denarius was basically a day's pay for a field worker,
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so maybe 100 days wages. Compare that to a debt needing
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thousands of years to repay. Right, it's tiny in comparison.
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Tiny. And what does the first servant
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do? He grabs the guy, starts choking
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him, demanding the money back now.
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Choking him? Seriously.
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Yeah, physically aggressive, refuses any patients even though
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he just received infinite patients himself, and then he
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has the poor guy thrown into debtors prison until he can pay
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it back. The truly mind blowing thing is
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how this massive experience of forgiveness he just had didn't
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change in one bit, didn't soften his heart at all.
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It had no effect. None.
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The Gracie God didn't flow through him.
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He was still just angry and looking out for #1.
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So what happens next? The king finds out.
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He does, and he is quite rightly furious.
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Matthew 18.34 says the king calls the servant back in.
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Yeah. He confronts him.
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You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt just because
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you begged me. Shouldn't you have had mercy on
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your fellow servant just like I had mercy on you?
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That's the logical conclusion, isn't?
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It it is, and in the King, in his righteous anger, hands him
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over to the jailers, the torturers, until he pays back
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the original massive debt. Which is impossible.
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Exactly. It condemns him forever.
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It's a really stark picture of the consequences of refusing to
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show mercy. So what's the punchline from
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Jesus? The conclusion Jesus draws in
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verse 35, it hits right at the connection between anger,
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forgiveness, and our actual standing with God.
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He says so also. My Heavenly Father will do to
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everyone of you if you do not forgive your brother from your
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heart. Wow, that's heavy.
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It is. It means God our King isn't
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obligated to save someone who says they're a disciple if that
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person hasn't really received God's forgiveness for what it
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is. This infinitely precious,
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totally undeserved, heartbreakingly humbling mercy's
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Barton gift. So forgiveness doesn't flow out
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of us. Then the source suggests God's
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forgiveness hasn't truly taken root in us.
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If there's no sweetness of forgiveness towards others in
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our hearts, it's a sign something's wrong.
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That divine forgiveness we claim, if it doesn't make us
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forgiving people, it won't actually save us in the end.
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It's like a diagnostic test almost.
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In a way, yes, An unforgiving spirit reveals we haven't really
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understood or embraced the grace we say we've received from God.
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OK, so what's the big take away for us then?
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Practically speaking, how does this help us deal with our own
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anger? The key insight here is that
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living with this constant amazed awareness of our own massive
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forgiveness, that huge log debt God cancelled for us, that is
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what enables us to forgive others their tiny speck debts
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against us. Right, keeping our own debt in
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view. Exactly.
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Think about it. God's righteous anger against
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us, it's gone, dealt with through Christ, even though
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we've sinned against Him way more than 70 * 7 truly grasping
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that living in that reality, it cultivates what the sources call
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a broken, contrite, tender hearted joy.
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A tender hearted joy. I like that.
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Yeah, and it's that specific kind of joy born from humility
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and gratitude for God, God's mercy, that then governs our
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anger. It stops it from becoming
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destructive like the unforgiving servant's anger.
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It changes our whole inner world.
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OK, that makes sense. Living in light of our
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forgiveness fuels forgiveness for others.
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Precisely Now this idea of being aware of our own debt, our own
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forgiven state, it ties directly into another really famous
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teaching of Jesus, doesn't it? The one about judging others.
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Yes, absolutely. The speck in the log.
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Exactly Matthew Chapter 7 verses 1 to 5.
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Jesus says judge not that you be not judged.
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Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye but do not
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notice the log that is in your own eye?
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Or how can you say to your brother, let me take the speck
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out of your eye when there is the log in your own eye?
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You hypocrite, First take the log out of your own eye and then
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you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
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It's such a vivid picture. It really is unforgettable, and
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it's important to be clear on what Jesus is forbidding here.
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He's not saying we can never make any kind of judgement or
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assessment. Right, because later he talks
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about identifying having false prophets.
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Exactly that requires discernment.
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What he's condemning here is hypocritical judgmentalism.
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You know, being laser focused on other people's small faults
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while being totally blind to our own massive ones.
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But notice he does say first take the log out and then you
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will see clearly to take the spec out.
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So he's showing there's a right way to help someone with their
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fault. So there's a proper kind of
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judgement. Yes, a necessary kind,
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corrective kind. It's different from just
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condemning someone. It aims to help to restore, but
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you can only do that kind of careful surgery if you can see
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clearly. And you can't see clearly with a
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log in your eye. Precisely your own big issue has
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to be dealt with first, by God's grace, before you have the moral
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clarity and the right motive to help someone else with their
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smaller issue. So that log in our eye, that's a
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symbol. For it clearly represents our
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own huge sinfulness, our own desperate, ongoing need for
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God's mercy and forgiveness. It's our log debt, you could
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say. Like the 10,000 talents again?
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Exactly like that, an immense debt of sin we owe God and the
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speck is then our brother's much smaller fault.
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Their speck debt may be a minor offense or character flock
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compared to our log. The image just forces you to see
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the massive difference in scale, doesn't it?
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It's humbling. It's designed to be humbling, to
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make us pause before we rush to point fingers.
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And you can tie this right back to the unforgiving servant,
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can't you? Absolutely his complete failure
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to remember his own log debt that forgiven 10,000 talents.
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That's exactly why he couldn't forgive his brother's little
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specked out of 100 denarii. He lost perspective entirely.
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He did. His lack of self-awareness about
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his own need and his own forgiven status blinded him.
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It shows how ignoring our own sin, failing to grasp God's
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mercy to us, directly fuels anger and harshness towards
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others. It's a total disconnect.
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And this is where it gets really interesting, this anger that
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comes from being judgmental. That critical spirit, Jesus says
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it's broken by a truly broken heart.
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Yes, and that doesn't mean just feeling sad for a moment.
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Right. Not superficial.
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No, it's a deep internal shift. This brokenness comes from
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living constantly aware of our own deep sinfulness and knowing
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that only Jesus's mercy, His free grace, can remove that log
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from our eye. Forgiveness and healing.
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So it's recognizing our total dependence on him.
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Total dependence, moment by moment.
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And that kind of spiritual brokenness, it's not weakness,
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it's the source of real strength when it comes to showing mercy.
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So what's the result of that? How does it change things?
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Well, the outcome of really living in that awareness of our
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own forgiven log debt is huge. It transforms that angry
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judgment, that urge to condemn, into something totally
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different. Patient loving forbearance, and
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it makes delicate, helpful correction possible.
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Because you're not coming from a place of superiority.
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Exactly. You see, even if there's a
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legitimate reason for some kind of anger, maybe righteous anger
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about real wrongdoing, it's now governed by your own experience
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of mercy. It's not hypocritical or
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self-righteous anymore. Piper makes the point you just
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can't do delicate eye surgery on someone's spec if you've got a
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massive log blocking your own view.
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Your perception is just warped until your own bigger issue is
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dealt with by Christ's mercy that.
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Allows you to see others with compassion then yes.
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Compassion, understanding and a genuine desire for their good,
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not just a desire to be right or to punish.
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OK. So we've looked at anger from
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being hurt repeatedly and anger from judging others.
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What about that other common kind of anger, the type that
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flares up when someone tells us what to do?
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Oh. Yes, when we just don't want to
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do it or it messes up our plans. Yeah, that feeling of
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resistance, maybe resentment, happens all the time, doesn't
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it? The sources say this is often
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rooted in pride. A pride that doesn't really have
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a sense of duty, or maybe more importantly, any joy in serving
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others. It's that instant I don't want a
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feeling they can just curdle our mood.
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So how does Jesus address that? Well.
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His call to discipleship hits it head on.
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Being his follower means embracing self denial and taking
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up your cross. Matthew 16.24 If anyone would
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come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross
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and follow me. Deny yourself.
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Take up your cross. Right.
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And Jesus modeled it perfectly. He went to the cross to die for
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others. Ultimate service.
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He calls us to follow Him, even if it means suffering, serving,
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laying down our own plans and preferences for others, for His
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sake. So being ready for that changes
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things. It fosters a spirit of
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servanthood that just doesn't get bent out of shape when
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demands come along. It fundamentally changes our
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internal default setting from resist to willing.
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And Jesus uses that really striking phrase for this,
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doesn't he? Slave of all.
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Yes, incredibly radical. Mark 10, verses 44 and 45.
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Whoever would be first among you must be slave of all, For even
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the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to
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give his life as a ransom for many.
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Not served but serve ransom. It means we're not our own boss
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anymore. We belong to Jesus.
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What he asks we do. Otherwise we might hear him say
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like in Luke 6. Why do you call me Lord Lord and
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not do what I tell you? It's about a legends flowing
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from gratitude. Exactly when you grasp he served
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us even to death, it changes your posture.
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Martin Luther had something great on this, didn't he, About
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freedom and service. Oh, beautifully put.
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Back in 1520, Luther said a Christian man is the most free
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Lord of all and subject to none. A Christian man is the most
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dutiful servant of all and subject to everyone.
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Wow, free Lord yet dutiful servant.
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He captures that paradox, doesn't it?
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This amazing freedom we have in Christ is found precisely in
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being bound to Him, in willingly putting ourselves at others
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disposal out of love for Him. It's not a burden, it's a joyful
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response. And how does that spirit, that
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mindset, actually shield us from anger?
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Well, it just completely reframes our emotional response.
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If you truly see yourself as a slave of all, for Christ's sake,
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knowing your life isn't just yours to control, then when
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someone asks you to do something unexpected, something
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inconvenient. Your reaction is different.
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Totally different than if you saw yourself as Lord of all,
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entitled to your own time and plans.
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It's a fundamental shift for Jesus sake.
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The source says the slave rejoices to serve the good of
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others, even people who don't deserve it, even when it's
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costly. It becomes an act of worship.
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Yes, a living sacrifice submitted to him.
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That joy in serving rather than prideful resistance, defuses the
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anger that often comes with demands.
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So even if anger does arise, if it's going to be good anger.
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Then it's governed by the contentment Jesus gives us in
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serving. It's not bitterness about being
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put out. It's maybe a desire for God's
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will, for justice, even if it costs us personally.
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It's directed outward at wrong, not inward in protest against
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serving. OK, this is all really helpful
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in understanding the roots and remedies for anger.
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But let's circle back to that very direct command in Matthew
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5. Everyone who is angry with his
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brother will be liable to judgement.
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Right. That sounds incredibly sweeping.
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What specific kind of anger is Jesus actually forbidding there?
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Is he saying any feeling of anger is sinful?
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That's the crucial question. The sources explain that Jesus
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is really drilling down deeper than the command not to murder.
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He's condemning not just the ACT, but the feeling, the
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malicious intent behind the ACT. OK, so the feeling itself.
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The prohibited anger Piper defines it as a strong feeling
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of displeasure, including feelings of contempt and
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hostility that seek expression and murder or pejorative name
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calling. Contempt and hostility seeking
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expression. It's anger that holds ill will,
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that wants to demean someone, put them down or ultimately
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destroy them. Maybe physically, maybe just
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relationally. All anger like that.
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Anger that carried the seed of destruction or belittling
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others. That's absolutely forbidden.
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It attacks relationships and are standing with God at the core.
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So just to be crystal clear, then based on that definition,
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it doesn't mean all anger, no matter what, is automatically
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bad or sinful. No, the sources are clear.
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Jesus does not condemn all anger.
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We know this because Jesus himself got angry.
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Or 3.5 says he looked at the Pharisees with anger, grieved at
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their hardness of heart. Right, his own example.
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Exactly. The key distinction comes from
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his other teachings about love, about responding
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proportionately, about God's care, about his mercy, about
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being servants. Those things guide us in
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figuring out if our anger is justified, if it's righteous
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good anger. Righteous anger is shaved by a
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humble heart, a heart that knows it's been forgiven a massive
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debt itself. That kind of broken, grateful
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heart leads to that tender hearted joy we talked about.
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And that transforms the anger. It transforms judgmental anger
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into patient, loving forbearance.
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Righteous anger isn't about me getting my way or getting
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revenge. It serves a higher purpose
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honoring God, flowing from love for him and for others.
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Can you give him an example? Like what's unrighteous versus
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righteous anger look like? Sure, unrighteous anger.
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The forbidden kind would be things like looking down on
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someone with contempt, feeling outright hostile towards them,
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being harshly judgmental out of self righteousness, or that
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prideful resistance to serving. It's anger, trying to hurt or
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control out of selfishness. OK.
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And righteous. Righteous anger or good anger
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would be totally different. It might be displeasure when you
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see sin or injustice, those eye specs messing up people you
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love, or when truth is twisted or God's name is dishonored.
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But it's different because. Because it's always governed by
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mercy. It comes from that heart broken
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by God's forgiveness, and its goal is always loving correction
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and restoration, never destruction.
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It's pure, seeking God's good and the real good of others,
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even if that means confronting sin.
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It's proportionate and tempered by love.
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This whole way of thinking about anger and forgiveness, it feels
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incredibly radical. The command not to have that
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destructive anger, the command to forgive limitlessly.
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It feels almost crushing, doesn't it?
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So far beyond what feels natural.
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It really brings you face to face with a huge demand, which
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leads to the biggest question how is this kind of deep
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internal change even possible for us?
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How can we actually live like this?
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That really is the $1,000,000 question, isn't it?
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And the answer the sources give is that this demand forces us to
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see we just can't do it on our own.
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Right. Not by willpower.
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Not by sheer willpower or making resolutions.
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We can't just decide, OK, starting now, I won't get angry
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like that anymore or I'll forgive everyone.
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Everything doesn't work like that, I know.
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Because getting angry or failing to forgive isn't just an
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isolated choice. Choice we make.
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It's described as fruit on the branch of our lives.
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Fruit on the branch meaning. Meaning our anger, our ability
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to forgive, our whole way of being.
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It grows out of something deeper inside us.
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It comes from our core, from the source of our spiritual life.
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It's an outward sign of what's going on internally.
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It's the kind of person we are. So the real question isn't how
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do I try harder? No, the real question becomes
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what vine am I connected to? Oh, whose life is flowing into
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me, and therefore whose fruit am I going to bear fruit like
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peace, patience, kindness and forgiveness?
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OK, so that leads directly to. John 15 verse 5 absolutely
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central Jesus says whoever abides in me and I in him heed
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is the bears much fruit for part for me you can do nothing.
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Apart for me, you can do nothing.
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That's it. So the demand not to be angry in
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that destructive way, and the demand to forgive 70 * 7 It's
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also fundamentally a demand to abide in Jesus, to stay
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connected to Him as our life source.
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So it's about the connection. It's all about that ongoing
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connection, that intimate moment by moment fellowship with
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Christ, praying, reading His Word, obeying Him, being part of
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His people. That is the real source of
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power, to quiet that unrighteous anger and bear the fruit of
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forgiveness and peace. It's not a technique then.
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No, it's not a self help strategy.
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It's a supernatural work of God's Spirit inside us as we
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cling to Christ when we're drawing life from Him, our
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hearts get reshaped, our desires change, and our ability to
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forgive is supernaturally empowered.
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So just to sum that up, real change in handling anger and
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practicing forgiveness doesn't come from just trying harder,
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right? It comes from depending
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completely on Christ, staying connected to Him as the vine,
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the source of life. That's Reformed thinking in
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action, isn't it? Seeing our total need for God's
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grace and His Spirit to change us from the inside out.
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Exactly. That's the core.
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OK, so as we kind of draw this deep dive to a close, let's pull
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the main threads together. We started with that radical
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call to boundless forgiveness 70 * 7 and we saw that's grounded
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in being totally amazed by God's own huge mercy to us for our
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massive sin debt. Right.
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The forgiven debt empowers forgiveness.
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Then we looked at meeting real self-awareness, getting the log
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out of our own eye before worrying about the speck in
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someone else's that leads to a brokenness before God that turns
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judgment into compassion. Yeah, seeing clearly starts with
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seeing ourselves rightly. And we talked about how
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embracing joyful servanthood, being slave of all for Christ,
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shield us from anger rooted in pride when demands are made on
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us. It changes our whole orientation
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from entitlement to service. And finally, we made that key
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distinction between the unrighteous anger Jesus forbids,
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the contempt and hostility, and a possible righteous anger
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that's governed by mercy and aims for restoration.
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Understanding that difference is critical.
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It really is. So maybe a final thought for
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you, the listener, to take away and Mull over.
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If our forgiveness towards others is meant to truly reflect
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the boundless mercy we ourselves have received from Christ, how
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might holding on to that perspective, day by day, moment
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by moment, actually reshape how you react, how you engage in
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your relationships? Really consider what it means to
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live not just intellectually agree, but live as someone
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deeply forgiven by God, and how that might compel you from the
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heart to extend that same undeserved gift to others around
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you. The matter of the situation.