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Fringey Mini: Zebra Muscle Adjacent · Journey to the Fringe

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  Okay, we got extinction adjacent. I have some
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  other stuff that's not labeled any sort of adjacent
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  or anything, so I'm really feeling fit to put
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  on the spot here. Whale sad, bunkers. Who could
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  have predicted that we would do a fringy mini?
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  And that it was my turn. Zebra muscle adjacent.
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  Let's do the zebra mussels. Let's see what we've
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  got here. Okay. This is from Yahoo News, so we
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  don't actually know where it's from because I
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  believe they just redirect from another thing,
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  right? They usually do. Them and MSN do that
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  a lot. Lobster Lake crayfish confirmed in Ontario
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  and officials warn it could upend freshwater
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  habitats by Wyatt Fisher, June 16, 2026. Here's
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  a nice photo of a crayfish. I think he's squinting
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  with his eyes at me. like glaring. What other
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  body part can you squint with? His eyes. I don't
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  think you had to specify eyes. I don't know that
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  those are eyes actually on second glance but
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  they do look like he's suspicious of me. But
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  they're squinting. Interesting. Okay, Ontario
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  is dealing with a newly confirmed invasive crayfish
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  in its waters, and authorities have warned that
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  the dark red lobster -like species could harm
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  vulnerable freshwater habitat. This is not limited
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  to isolated sightings. The species is already
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  breeding in at least one Ontario site, raising
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  concerns for communities that rely on healthy
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  lakes, ponds, and wetlands. The red swamp crayfish,
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  or Procambaris, clarky is an aggressive crayfish
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  from the southeastern united states according
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  to the blog t .o. post why is it always the aggressive
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  ones that get out why can't we just call them
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  red swamp crayfish like why do we got to call
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  them poke hamberous clarky well that's probably
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  the latin name But I don't know I assume it's
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  probably not the time to get into that. That's
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  always whenever we do these episodes They do
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  the this name and then also the Latin. Why do
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  they got to have a Latin name though? What's
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  the Latin name for cow? Oh, I can't remember.
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  It's Oryx something pork No, Oryx. What's the
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  Latin name? For count. No, the Oryx is a different
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  guy. He's extinct. No, but it comes from it It's
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  cow in Spanish. Bovis. Bovine. Geez. Boss Taurus.
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  Boss Taurus. That's better than Vaca. That's
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  where we get bovine. Boss Taurus. You know what?
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  I like that one. Would it be weird that I call
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  cows Bo -Taurus? Boss Taurus. People wouldn't
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  know what I'm talking about. Okay, back to the
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  article. The Ontario Federation of Anglers and
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  Hunters said there is already a reproducing population
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  in Tilbury and a localized population in Lake
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  Aquitaine, Mississauga. Sometimes referred to
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  as freshwater lobsters, these crayfish are fairly
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  easy to identify. Them being the lobsters in
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  the area. Yeah, this leads me to believe there's
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  more than one kind and one monthly local that
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  they're not worried about. There's so many fucking
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  crayfish in that lake. They're easy to identify.
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  Adults are usually about five to thirteen centimeters
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  long. They have dark red bodies, elongated heads
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  and claws with raised bright red, white or black
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  spots. I really want to know what we're comparing
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  it to. I know. Any lake that we've been into,
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  Chelsea, it would be like, it's easy to identify
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  because it doesn't look like a fish. Exactly.
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  It's the only thing that looks like this in these
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  waters, but they're leading me to believe that
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  it's not the only one. Like it is literally chocked
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  full. Like pulling these ones out. No, this one's
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  striped. Nope, this one's slightly pink. As opposed
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  to the one that's like... It has a raised rim
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  on its clipper hand or whatever. They're often
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  found in freshwater areas with muddier sandy
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  bottoms and plenty of organic debris. Ontario
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  has already listed the species under its invasive
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  species rule and bans importing, transporting,
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  breeding, buying, selling, trading, depositing,
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  or releasing it. The concern is that they can
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  be difficult to control once they become established.
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  Well, it seems like they've already become established.
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  The provincial government said red swamp crayfish
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  can tolerate a wide range of oxygen, temperature,
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  pollution, and pH conditions, giving them a major
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  advantage over many native species. Their feeding
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  can quickly change an ecosystem. Sorry, that's
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  an inappropriate place to laugh because I was
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  just thinking of something else. I'm continuing
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  on now. They eat small fish, mollusks, amphibians,
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  amphibians? eggs and larvae and can also thin
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  out aquatic plants and damage important habitat.
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  Just before you keep going, just so you remember
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  frogs start as tadpoles and they're amphibians.
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  So like eating tadpoles would be considered eating
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  amphibians. Okay. So they're not necessarily
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  eating like giant salamanders. That's what I
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  was thinking actually. That's what it conjured
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  in myself. Another concern is how fast their
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  numbers can rise. Females may carry about 100
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  to 500 fertilized eggs under the tail, causing
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  populations to grow quickly. Ontario's provincial
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  government has already labeled the animals regulated
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  as a prohibited invasive species under the Invasive
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  Species Act. 2015. Officials are also urging
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  the public to help prevent further spread and
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  to never buy, keep or breed the species as a
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  pet. Who would do that? Well, probably people.
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  We all know people. Any illegal activity involving
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  the species should be reported immediately. And
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  that's the end of the article. And you know,
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  I was giggling there because I was thinking back
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  to zebra mussels and how I thought that it was
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  just really muscular zebras. I was waiting for
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  that last paragraph where you said they're trying
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  to get rid of them unless of course any investors
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  are willing to pay mark Carney for them to Yeah,
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  that's a good one Obviously, that's an asterix
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  at the end of the article and if you guys have
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  20 bucks to give to mark Carney Please don't
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  we don't need any more private investment right
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  now. He's got that covered anyhow