Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #211 Ash's Sobriety & The Moment That Had Us All In Tears

Transcript

#211 Ash's Sobriety & The Moment That Had Us All In Tears · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Should we talk about you just saved my life?
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, Georgia Love. Yeah, I did say you love you
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: owe me actually, but you've done nothing but put me down.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Since you love it, I do. ASH sent me a
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: message as I was I was late to this record,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: and I said, do you want me to call in
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: a bomb threat? And I was like, what do you mean?
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I hang over to the open and then we'll get
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: into it. Little teaser like that. Welcome back to Two
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Guarding Dads. I am Maddie Jams and this is a
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: the bad and the lad and one thing we will
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: never do is give advice. Correct. So, yeah, you were
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: saying you could call it a bomb threat. I walked in.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I saw they were having an International Women's Day talk.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: They had chair set up, that stage set up, and
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder who the guests are. I
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: don't want to see and one of them happened to
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: be your former ex flame Georgie Love.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Georgia Love, Georgie, Georgia Georgia. Okay, Georgia from the Bachelorette
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: nine years ago.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: She actually broke your heart at the time, she did
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: me a favor. She absolutely, I wouldn't.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be here talking to you.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: How do you know that?
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't have found you. But I
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: just missed her, just missed her. She's on stage talking.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: We got you in strategically, I would have I would
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: have wished. Now, looking back, I wish I said nothing.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: I've seen her many times, bro Ye. Times didn't look
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: like who are your ex girlfriends? Where are they at?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: They're actually very successful?
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Name one.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Natalie?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: What does she do?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Have you bumped into her? No? But you Danny ableson?
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: So you are like fucking seven you guys forever fifteen years? Wow?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Do you have an ex? Was it anyone?
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I don't really count anymore?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: You only ever had sex with one person?
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's true, it's out there. It is out there.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Is that true?
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: No?
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Actually, I'm a still version of those kids, aren't mine?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Ash?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: We stacked.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like this is you know when people like
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: we got such a busy episode, but it is like
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: it's full. We can't really daly around like we always do,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: although we are. It took us an hour from when
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: we stepped foot in the studio to when we are
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: recording right now. I'm sorry, Vic, Sorry, Come on, guys, Housekeeping.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: It's busy, it's busy. We've got a lot to get through.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Busy down in the office.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: As they say, have you heard of this group ash
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: starting off housekeeping with dad steps.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Dad steps, not step dads.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Dad steps, not to be confused with stepdads. But they
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: are a group on the Northern Beaches, your neck of
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: the woods. They are on Instagram.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: At throw me under the bus here. They're going to
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: be like, hey, what are you join us? Then I'm
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: going to have to come up with scuse why I
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: can't go on here.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I know you hate socializing with other parents, but some
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: people out there find comfort in talking to other people
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: in their situation. You're like a lone wolf I am.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: I'm all like, yeah, lone wolf leader whatever.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: So what would you call a group of people that
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: like to hang to get like ants sheep.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: No, we're just going with to animals. A group of
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: people who want to hang out together friends them.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Well, these friends slash dads. They walk on the Northern
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Beaches every Saturday and Sunday. So if you're a dad
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: and you're like, you know, I would no longer like
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: to be the wolf with the kids with the kids
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: in primsh if you're on the beaches, find them on
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Instagram and you can hang out with them. Ash will
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: be there. Sorry, he does not represent me. You know
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: how much are they get home? And I'm just kidding,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: I do think for friends you've changed.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I know, man changed giveaway. We're not there yet. We're
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: about to hit one hundred and two thousand.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I checked this morning. We're like maybe like very close today,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: we should go to one hundred. So we're getting there.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: A little reminder, the goal is one hundred and five.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: If you pick the exact day and time we hit that. No,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: not time, no time, the first one on that day.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Come on, Ash, Ash, come on.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So I don't know.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: You can't change.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: You can't change the mechanics. We agree, who's the mechanic.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: What we said, it's in the contract. There's a contract.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Legal had signed this off, Legal being thick, and it's
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: just the time, no, no time, not well, just the day.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: It's the first person to give us that day.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: So you then have to send a screenshot not now,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: because a lot of a lot of people were like,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: here's my entry and I was like, hold you, Carrol, Carol,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: just relaxed.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Someone send to me a message every day, it's.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Just when it hits. If you are that winning date,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: you then if there's multiple people that have guessed, like
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: the twenty sixth of March, you didn't have to take
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: your screenshot send it to us. Whoever gets the screenshot
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: to us first.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Oh so it's a race on the dates.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like a heptathlon. Wow. Yeah, I was
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: not listening in that. Sorry.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: First of all, sorry guys for not listening. Second of all,
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I'm glad I'm up to date.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: And what else we got here? A solid Oh yeah, Poppy,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Just for those playing on it home, she has started
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: the solids.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: And first of all, it's nice say you got a
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: name right, Thank you, Thank you. Hey, at least you
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: could do.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I'm trying, except well, my wife doesn't feel like I'm
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: giving her enough attention at the moment.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, there's only so much a Mandy Jay to go around.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: So we started her on the sweet potato.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Laura.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, here go babe. No, she's boiled the
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: sweet potato. So Poppy is currently having a bit of
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: sweet potato. Do you like it? Loves it, loves it.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: And then Laura was like, cool, I'm going to try
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: her on some banana. Oh and I mean I was like, cool,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: that's great, like bananas potato.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: And she was she was, God, what about the marinara there?
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: He is?
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Fuck, very good, thank you, very good. You're on fire today. No.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: So she was doing the banana and I'm like, great.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't like banana?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, petrified bananas. You know that. I got a friend
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: who's petrified, and my dad has a friend who's petrified
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: with tomatoes.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: How these people have gotten through their lives to get
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: to adulthood I will never know.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Imagine if they lived in the jungle.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, they're the type of people who should have
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: been fucking you know, they shouldn't be pro pro creating.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, yeah, give them a second sight, I think.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So what's it called when you're a sex predator and you.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Straight cash straight them? How I know that?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. But Laura was like, Matt, come quick,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: come quick, Katie here right now. And I was in
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: the middle of something.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I had the dirtiest joke then, but I'm not going
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: to do it. Matt, come quick, come on. She was
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: she was pushed for time. Yeah, come quick, okay, whatever,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: next moving on.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I'm just bullying you because I know, because I feel
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: like you're an easy target. Right now, I am sorry,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: you're very funny. Regret I fight the laughter.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I like.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah and carry out internally right now. It's hilarious.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: It's really hurting my brain.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: You're a great co host. Thank you. So Laura's Laura goes,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: come quick, come quick, and I go, what is it?
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: She goes, just come come here right now.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I'm already done.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Come and I'm going I just I'm in the middle
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: of something. I'll be two seconds. She's like, you have
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: to come right now, get here, do not delay. Come
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: and see your daughter. And I'm like, okay, come over,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: what is it? Watch this? Oh spoonful a little bit
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: of mix of banana mixed in with some soup potato,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and Poppy eats it.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: And I go and okay, that's your third child, you
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: know that?
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: And she goes, What's what's wrong with you? And I'm like,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: what are you?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: What am I waiting for? What what are you waiting for?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Look at your child and how she reacts to eating
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: this food. And I was like, well, fuck, she's eating it.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I don't have so many reactions like can.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: You just give me something?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Can you pretend like you're excited by it? And I
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: was like, it just didn't. This didn't do anything.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: For what else does she do?
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to pretend, I know. And it's like,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: what you like?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: What what do you want from me? You want me
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: to be like, oh my god, it's the greatest thing ever.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: And then I was like and then I faked it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, that's a big mouthful that she
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: just she's really enjoying the banana. And she's like, well,
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: now it just feels forced. You forced me to do this.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: What do you want? You can't have? You can't have it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Both lays Molly and Laula were like, what about else?
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Solids was funny? I love it when they get something
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: in that, don't. You're like, oh, they'll love this, Like
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: avocado is a good one because it's like you either
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: love avocado you hate it, right, So some kids are like, yeah,
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: give me that.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: At my kids, maybe I could. Maybe I can take
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the initiative and start her on avocado.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Try and then call Laura in and be like what
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: is and then see what reaction is do the old
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: flipper root.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: I mean it is a cad. She does get pretty
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: pumped when she's about to.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: How they get we're excited about it?
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, unless they don't know. You make me feel guilty
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: that I didn't.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Should feel terrible?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah I should.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: No, No, you gave a fake reactions better than no reaction.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Ash little little update on the fuel.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you will lak all the fuel the app.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I don't use the app.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I saw a message saying that you can pay it
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: the pump, and I was like, I'm thirty six years
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: old this year.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I've just learned this.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: And then I had a quick squizzy and yeah, but
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: you need like it. You need to be able to
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: hack the main frame to be able to get it
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: to work. I couldn't figure it out.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: It's like entering the matrix.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: But also my attention span to things like that.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Also, it's dangerous playing with your phone at the pump.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I'll blow up.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well act do they myth bust that?
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I still if my phone rings.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Do you answer your phone by the pump? No?
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Not by the pump in the vicinity.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: People there chatting away. That's fucking madness.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: The death wish, the phone symbol death wish.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, death wish.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: It's a different phone.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: It's like old wish.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: What about what am I missing something?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: The death wish. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone anyway.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: So the phone symbols, there's no fun to see. It's
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: like the old school. So it's those I think those
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: signs are absolutely I'm not picking this death wish thing up.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Sorry, you're trying, really trying to throw me. I'm not
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: trying to throw you.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm coming out.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yes, I'm just trying to talk. I'm just trying
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: to get on your level. I'm there.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I'm paranoid.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Don't be paranoid. I'm not going to hurt He's going
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: to ruin me for the rest of the day. Thank you.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: We're like, it's a death wish.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: That's what this is? Is it exactly? What? Moving on?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Matthew got ash very quickly have a dough to birth story. Yes,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: was sent in and we do love a story from
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: the dotors of this country.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: We love it.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Slash all around the world. What do you got for me?
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: What is it? This is from matt from mollymok Oh,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: what a beautiful part of the world.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: It is nice down there South Coast. You've I would say,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: last time I went down, they really sold it for me.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I am the ambassador.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: They should really think about giving you a job. Thank
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: you for like South Coast Thanks tourism.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: How good is Alida? It's very nice mollybook. But Matt
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: from Molly Mook says where he livesok, you can't give
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: birth at the closest hospital in Milton. It's like it's
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: like an eventory clinic.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: They should be able to do it.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I think, I think. Yeah, it's you can
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: keep bragging about it can do anything. Lights you want
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: to be next to the cows and the stables and
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: you're like.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like that cow is going to give birth.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to accommodate with. If it's a human, get
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: the fuck out of here.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: But he's learned he could after they were on the
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: way to nar A hospital while his wife was in
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: the late stages of labor when a truck rolled on
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: the road and he couldn't get through.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: There's only around one road in one road out, isn't
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: it well, said well, okay, Pacific Highway.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I believe it is a Pacific Highway. That was a guest.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: But yeah, no, you're very good.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: He worried his worst fear of having the baby born
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: in the car on the side of the road was
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: about to come true. Wor five, I want that. Yeah.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I'm like, that's a story. That's like, we're telling your story.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: This is this. Yeah, obviously we run a podcast for
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: people like Matt. He's like, I don't need this ship. Yeah.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: He's like, I don't want to I don't need the content.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: What do you want the carnage? You're like, Laura, give
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: birth now. Instead, they've got an ambulance and a police
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: escort out of the traffic queue. Back to Milton, where
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: she ended up giving birth next to a cow in
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: the stables of the No, sorry, on the ed floor.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: So was there a cow? Sorry? Sorry?
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I say all that hate for the rural doctor chat
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: and then it's true.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: But he says, here a successful V back.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: What they pull it out from?
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: A back? A V back? Hang on, what's it? VIC?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Help us?
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: A V back is a vaginal birth after C section.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: What does the back have to do with second child?
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I thought it was a dress type of bress after
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: cesarean a V back, so wait as an acronym in
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: the one go, the V back itself is an acronym. Yes,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking like this.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Would have been second child. God you so I thought
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: you meant like in the one Go, like they're about
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: they're about to cut you over. There's a traffic jam
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: in there, cut you open and go hang on a sec.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: We'll go to the vagina.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll be right back.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: But that is a beautiful story.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I think that's that's a great story.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: And also police escort. That's fucking Hollywood. No, no one.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I don't never been police escort anywhere.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: That's a lie.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: The one time I have my hand behind my back,
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: the one or two or three times.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: We've heard the story from your mother about you being arrested.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Actually sent me a video as well if.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: You wanted to, Oh yeah, from of the V back.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, I can't wait to see a V back in
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: real life times in your labor where there is too
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: much stress going on.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: An extreme example would be let's say you.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Were on the way to the hospital and you came
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: across a car accident, so they called it.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can take that out of the video.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: That's just tempting fake. I know.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I can picture everyone in that in that course going.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Me.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: It's like final destination. Yeah, because no one dies. I
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: just want to say thank you for sending that in.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: If you've got any good birth stories sending me.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: We want to hear more about the v backs. Honestly,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I've learned something new.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I thought it was all.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Right, all right. I thought it was a type of
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: dress that feels good.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: It does feel good. Yeah, I don't know what it
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: feels like. Anyway, we have twenty new reviews.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Matt is having a good day, like, I cannot tell
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: you one of the best days of my life. This
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: is the reaction. Laura wanted to pop in and you're
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: getting it off review. I was like, law, real quick,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: what is it? Look at Apple podcasts the new reviews,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: and she was like, uh, could you just pretend for
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: a second. Yeah, I pretended for you just for a second.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I was like, amazing, phenomenal.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Begging and the tutorial video work.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I cannot begin to describe how much I appreciate the
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: kind comments. Thank you.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I haven't read them yet, but I will.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Ash. Yeah, Ash, we are going to change up breaking
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: news EPI so slightly again, because one of us actually
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: has experience delivering the news on radio, and there's not me,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: it's not you, it is of course producer. Vic.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I usually do the surf reports. Does that count on radio?
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Did you really good job?
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Haven't I had? Literally? Maybe should write a book? No? No,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: when I read that shit, you can't. Right, Let's be honest,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: I can talk audiobook podcast.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Let's start a podcast, VIC, take it away.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Scientists have confirmed what mums have known for years, rage
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: cleaning actual works. Studies show that scrubbing, vacuuming, and reorganizing
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: when you're stressed can reduce anxiety and improve the body's
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: stress response. The trend has exploded on TikTok, racking up
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: more than eight million views of parents furiously cleaning their
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: homes to blow off steam. A global study of more
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: than eleven thousand people found seventy five percent clean when
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: they're stressed, with many reporting they feel calmer in as
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: little as thirteen minutes. Experts say it's a healthy way
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: to release anger, though most mums would argue they've been
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: doing it for decades.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: You have it?
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Can I just say I didn't hear a word you
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: say because I was fixated on the on used voice.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: That was outstanding work.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you've done with Vic, but this new.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: Woman in the room, I was like, this channel ten's.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Sensation.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: So rage cleaning true, it's fact. That is a fact.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Vic.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Do you rage clean often?
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: I think Dan wishes I did.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Dan, you know where you go makea angrier.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: I'm not the cleaner in our household.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Who is Dan?
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: The man?
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Good for him?
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: So he rage clean?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: I think Actually when I do get angry, that's probably
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: the one time I did clean.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I just know when April was in a bad mood
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: because she cleans things she wouldn't usually clean and overly clean.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you would never usually do that.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I'm fine, she's washing the car, she's changing the oil.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: And she's like she's She'll be like, we really need
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: to clean this way more. And it's like you you.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Were in a back What is you pointing at? I
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: have to think about it. Do you rage clean?
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: No?
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I do what Dad's do and that's a void clean.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: So I clean.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: That weaponar is inconfidence?
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: No?
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, what.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Listeners?
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Right? You really against me today? I look, I would
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: say we split the cleaning pretty evenly.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, off, we do you try and backtrack now, but.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: We clean different things. It's like if I'm gonna and
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: April said this on the pod when we had it's like,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I'll take the rubbish out, but she's like, but you
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: don't put the bag back, and it's like I thought that,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I thought you did it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: And it's like, try and share the load a bit.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: But like, if she's in a bad mood.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: You'll clean.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: She'll rage throw a coffee table.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: She's not afraid about that, and she's way more direct
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: with that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: If Dan's trying to impress you, Vick, is there anything
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: that he'll clean? Because he knows that's going to tickle
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: your fancy?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: Oh here we go.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: No, what he does now actually is he says, what
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: can I take off your mental load?
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: That's smart. I'm going to use that. It's in a
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: rousing phrase ever I heard one.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: It is the best thing that comes out of his mouth.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Other than I love you. Yeah, I'm going to write
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: it down for sure. I think that's good gear.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Is there anything you clean? Because Laura, if I change
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: the bed sheets.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good one. Every we do ours every Sunday.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Everything don to cover every two weeks. She loves clean sheets,
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: also towels. That yeah, that's usually a pretty good one.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I do the lunches. That's not cleaning.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: Bro Oh, no, that's good.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: I get to do you ask me what gets it going?
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: That's that's that's good gear. There's not a lot like
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I would say. The sheets is a big one, big one.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: If she gets in fresh sheets on a Sunday night.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Bam cleans the kitchen in your house after dinner.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I reckon it's a joint effort. I usually eat later
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: than April, depending on what we're doing. But like she'll
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: put the dish washer on and then whatever's left out
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: about I'll just I'll clean.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Up match made in Heaven.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I best be off.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Thanks for asking me a question, Vic, that's that's a
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: really no.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I didn't ask because I don't care.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Let's let's back it up.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Does Laura Rage clean in your house or are you
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: the Rage cleaner?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: No? I'll clean the kitchen. The kitchen needs to be clean.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: The bedroom is always messy. They're always closing the floor.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I did move all the clothes. You do the laundry
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: and stuff, don't you? Kind of everyone in the house.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Does the laundry? Was nana do? She does a bit
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: of everything must been nice. There is no But on
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: the weekend Sunday, Laura started rage cleaning and I antagonized.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: It's not like me to I was just going to
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: ask you this exact question.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: But I antagonized because she was really barking orders at me,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: like stand up to her. Bro I started calling a boss,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I do that too. So she was like,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: can you just move the box in the garage that's
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: been sitting there? Said yes, boss, they hate that, and
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: then she's like, and then this suitcase needs to go
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: into the house. I was like, absolutely, right of the
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: bus right away, sir, behalf, that's gear.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: But I did do the garage, which only gets done,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: like you know, once in a blue moon. I think
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: last time I did it was like four months ago.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Because your garage, there's no storage in the actual garage itself.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Everything kind of gets pushed inside and then eventually gets
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: too much that the car can't from the garage, and
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: so the car has been on the street for the
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: last two weeks. I was like, now it's time to
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: clean the garage.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Is the pram still there from city to the surf
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: two years ago. No, we got rid of that pram
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: because I went back a year later and to get
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: something out of the pram and nothing thing had come out.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: There was food in there, but I didn't even get
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: much of a reaction. Cleaned the whole garage, A lota
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: gave me nothing.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was like, we want to add a boy. Yeah,
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: I just want like or is it more like like
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't be praised for that, Like you shouldn't be
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: praised for just doing what you should be doing. I
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: think even that case, you should be like thanks, babe,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Like I would say thanks, she did it, I would
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: say thanks if you did my.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Guy, I said, I said. We went to bed that
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: night and I was like, you know, we all busted
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: our asses today. And she was like I wouldn't go
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: that far, and she said one of us did. I
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: was like me, sorry, boss. Yeah. It was like this
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: a performance review. And the hard thing with Laura was
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: she was going through the kids toys because there was
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: just like mountains of little soft toys. You've got so
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: many of those little things fucking just gathering dust. None
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: of them get played with, So what do you do
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: with them. So we're giving them all to the Salvos.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, donating them all. And then Laura was like,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I feel really guilty because of the toys, the feelings,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: like the toys toy story. She was like, you know,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: you know when Andy's putting the toys in the attic
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: and yeah, She's like, these poor toys. Yeah, they're leaving
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: our home and I don't feelings Laura, and I was like,
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I think they're fine.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Do you get the kids involved in the of the
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: declor of the toys?
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Well we did, just because they were like, what guys doing?
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nosy, so fucking no room.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: And we were like, we're giving them to people who
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: are really going to love these toys. We've got too many,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: so you can choose five little soft toys and the
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: rest we're going to give away.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: April does a clean out of the toys with the
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: kids all the time, because it's just like you're saying,
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden, you've just got amount of stuff
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: that someone's given you, and it's like we thought we
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: just did this, but the kids are on board, were
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: giving giving.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: It to Sunday just gone. The rage cleans the full
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: effect Sunday night. We all felt great. Good to hear
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: we all felt really good. We made a mess. We
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: feel like we accomplished a lot. The sense of accomplishment
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: was great, very fulfilling.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: It's a good way to reset for the week.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: They nailed it.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: There, it is nailed it.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, it is Matt here. As you probably know
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: that this part of the episode is when we're going
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: to take a moment to talk about Ash's journey of
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: sobriety and just want to be completely honest and transparent
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: that it does get really deep and we're thankful that
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Ash is brave enough to talk about his journey in
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: all its detail. Some of the topics will be quite confronting.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: So if you're not in a position where you want
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: to hear that, I would recommend tuning off now and
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: join us in the next episode. Hey, Ash, Yes, I
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: have been at you a bit this episode, and I apologize.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I've been in a funny mood. Funny mood, I've been
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: bullied by Laura. So I come in and I'm like,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I'm the bullied person becomes the bulled Well at least
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I can take it, but I do, and I am
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: being so genuine. When I say this, I do want
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: to say congratulations, thank you, because it's a huge milestone
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: you've recently clicked up, clicked over. I'm over ninety four,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: ninety three, I think ninety three days sober. By the
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: time it comes out.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: It'll be like one hundred, it will be one hundred
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: day hundred yeah, yeah, one hundred days. I'm actually shocked,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: so am. I I think like last year was a
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: very very The last couple years have been pretty big
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: years for me, just like travel work, and you know
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: what it's like doing this sort of work. They throw
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: booze at You're like dance monkey, you know what I mean,
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: And so I sort of leant into that a lot.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: But then watching you enjoy a beer is not art's
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I remember one time our flight was delayed like ten minutes,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: and you were like perfect, and you came back with
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: two beers for yourself. Thank you. You fucking just attack
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: those beers like it was a man going.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: They hate seeing me coming, I don't for sure, and
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: artenders are trembler.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: And there it comes. Yeah, and you love a drink.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I do, I do drink. I do love a drink.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I was I thought I was at the
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: point at the back end of last year where I
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: set a date in mind in December, which is ambitious
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: considering that it's the start of summer, right, and I
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: had a date in mind because I was physically ill
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: thinking about it. I was like, this has been a
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: huge year. I've been to the States a bunch of times.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I feel like I just partied so much and I'm
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: not let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. Mat
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not getting any younger. And I just felt I
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: just felt disgusting. You know, do you ever feel like
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: you feel like, Okay, well I just need a detox,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: and usually our detox for like a week or something
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: like I'm cured. But I put a date in place,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: which was the seventh December, and I was I was
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: actually ready long before that, but I had commitments that
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: I knew at that point that I was I was
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: going to drink at So I was like, I didn't
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: want to set myself up to fail. From the seventh
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: of December, I didn't say yes to anything else.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: December, I think, for the majority of people is the
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: month they drink the most. Yeah, and so you think, gosh,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: you you've like started a marathon at the bottom of
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: a hill where you're like straight out of the gates,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: you go on uphill NonStop for four weeks.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, I was like, how is this
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: going to go? First of all, because it is the.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: First week the hardest, or is it peaks and.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Troughs like peaks and troughs, So the first say, the
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: first week, usually what people do when they go I'm
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: gonna have a break from our call, they turn into
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: a fitness freak and they burn themselves out and then
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: they just fall straight back in their old habits.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: And I have done that.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Guilty big time. I've done that before. I've had months off,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: or I'm like, all right, I'm going to run a
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: million kilometers.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Because I can't do things in halves.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I've got to do it for I was like, OK,
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to be that guy just goes an
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: exercise the first week. I'm going to go give myself
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: a break and go all right, eat whatever you want.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: You're not drinking, eat whatever you want, enjoy that oreos
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: pretty much packets on packets oreos. And also it was
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: because I was detoxing that week. I felt horrible. It
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: might have been our last record or something that around time,
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: and I was just like physically felt sick, Like I
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: was like fucking oh, Like how bad is this for me?
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: And then I sort of eased into the exercise and
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: eased into eating better and having a bit more of
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: a routine because I had no routine, and that's part
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: was part of the problem. My wife is king of
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: the routines, like she just sticks to it, and I'm
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: the opposite. And I was like, okay, eased into doing
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: some exercise and it actually made it so much easier.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: By the time I got to a month, I was
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: shocked that it was already a month and I was like, wow,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: But I thought I was past the hardest part, but
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I wasn't. I was probably past the hardest part in
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: terms of metabolizing it, trying to shake it, shake the
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: daily habit, and try and form new habits for however
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: long I was going to go for.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Then what was the hardest part.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: The hardest part was about day sixty one. Thing was
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: really hard that I wasn't expecting was the break that
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: we had because this here is an outlet for me too,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: and I really was struggling with my mental load because
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't have outlet to go. I think I might
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: have said that to you. Midway through. I was like, fuck,
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I missed the I didn't realize that how important it
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: was to sit down with you on a Tuesday and
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: just have an hour of bitching about the week that was,
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: which is so relieving, and people underestimate the power of
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: just talking. And when we came back from that, I
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: was one relieved, and then two I had still had
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: my regular therapy booked in, and I remember.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I need to start charging you for these sessions you do.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: You can make some good money of me, especially my
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: therapist is rolling around a yacht and yeah, around that
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: day sixty mark, what I would usually do with alcohol
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: wood was that when you call me yeah, it would
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: suppress the inner voice that I have, which hasn't really
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: had a full platform since I was fourteen years of age.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: So you put in twenty one years of suppressing that.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: It came thick and fast to the point where it's
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: like I remember waking up and like being fresh, which
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: is nice, but my brain being like you suk, Like
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: that's my first thought. And I got to the point
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: where it was like.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, is it triggered to anything? Or it would just
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: come out with that from the get go.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: It would come out with that from the get go
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: because I hadn't dealt with it, I'd just hit it.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: I'd pushed it back down for so many years that
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: it came at me with it was so critical about
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: everything that I was doing, to where I would be
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: like it would then completely ruin my day, and ruin
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: April day and ruined my kid's day. And there was
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: a plenty of nights there where it was like this
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: is all too hot. Yeah, it's what I got to
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: the point where it was like I can't believe got
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: like another thirty years of this of putting up with me,
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: and then I spoke to you about it. Where I
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: was at and trying to find tools to manage those
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: thoughts and having to also like just like learn how
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: to regulate my emotions again, it was just like fuck,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Like I was having worse days than good days, and
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: it was tough because kids are on school, holidays, we
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: were away together, all these sort of things that you know,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: I would be like fine on the surface, but underneath,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh fuck, Like whatever it was that
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I was doing, my brain was like, we can fix
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: this with just something really simple, and that was having
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: a drink, because it would suppress it, suppress the negative thoughts,
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: suppress that you're not good enough stuff, and how.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Do you battle that when you're by yourself in your
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: own thoughts.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I think acknowledging it has been really helpful. I mean,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: my therapist has said, look, you're at a position now
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: where the real work actually starts here. And it's so
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: true because the start of it is like all habit
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: and you don't think that it's a problem for you,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: and then you get to a clearer mind and you
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: kind of think, I can't wait to get to that
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: sixty days to be like, oh I'm fine.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I'm over the humph. We're like in the meadows. Now
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: we can run free.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: And yeah, there's no safety net. Now, there's nothing to
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: stop it, there's nothing to push it down. And I
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: said to April, I said, I feel really bad because
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: this was around that sixty seventy daymark. I said, I
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: feel really bad because my mood is unfortunately, you guys
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: have to bear the grunt of that. And she was like,
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: I would prefer that than how you were, Like, that's
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: that hit me pretty hard. And then I sort of
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: got closer to that ninety day mark, and I started
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: to realize that I started to feel guilty that I
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: hadn't been giving one hundred percent. I haven't been giving
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: one hundred percent of my kids until now where I'm
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: so present. The relationships are better, Like I felt, I
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: feel felt horrible that, like, these kids look up to me,
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: but I was half there, half not. And that's the
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: first you know, I started this journey just to have
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: a break. But the thought of.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Not being there, the thought of giving it up, giving.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Up what I've built now with my kids, Like the
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: relationship is so much better. I'm so more in tune
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: with their emotions. I'm not snapping back. I'm not I'm
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: not short because of my selfishness of the day before
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: or the night before.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I'm sort of.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: In a position where I'm like, I don't want to
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: drink again.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: If that's what's well, it's going to the impact is
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: going to have.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: But on the other end, it's it's giving giving that up.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: It's also like it's heartbreaking because I've leant on it
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: for twenty one years. It's like losing like losing it
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: as friend. But the impact it's having on me and
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: my family is just I can't give that up.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. You're doing such a fucking
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: good job, and I can't even begin to fathom how
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: hard it is to be in your position, Like you know,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I like, life is fucking tough, right, and there are
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: so many moments where I'm really struggling, and yet I'm
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: not having I'm fortunate to not have that internalized battle
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: with myself. And when I hear you talk about I
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: remember you called me and you were saying, you know,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: it's like, why do I hate myself internally? Why am
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: I fighting myself here? And I can't even believe how
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: hard that must be to get through every day when
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: you're not just battling through life, but then battling yourself
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: as well, and you're just swimming what feels like against
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: the tide every single day. But to see you come
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: up through that and where you are now, like I
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: am just bursting with pride, and I think you were
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: doing a phenomenal job. I know. It's weird because you
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: kind of think a journey like this is going to
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: come with a big build up of like I'm setting
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: off in this big expedition like wish me luck, and
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: it kind of just happened like under the radar, and
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: it's built up slowly now to where you are now,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: and like the healing that you're doing is just phenomenal.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: It's like, don't get me wrong, Still, every day is
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: a batter with my brain. I think that's the hardest part,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: is the trying to try to tame that beast that's
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: been suppressed for so long that now it's like, okay,
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: well it's so hard to explain, like the continual conversation
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: in my head, and it's like I don't have anything
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: to suppress that anymore. It's like now I've got to
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: hit it head on. And I feel like I have
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: as much as I can and as best as I can.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: And some of the moments up for the last ninety
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: days have been pretty dire where it's like, if it
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: wasn't for my kids and stuff, I probably wouldn't be here.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: I'm honest, I'm just gonna I.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Mean, so, I'm obviously very lucky to have the support
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: and the family and friends and you and thick and.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: So I caught up yesterday with Andy Cooks, who's nine
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: years sober and sassy Scott his five years. You got
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: to spend that time with them, and yeah, that could
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: feel good.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Now you're making me feel bad for bullying at the
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: start of this episode, Oh did.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Okay gettle commercial probe.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: I know you've been on this journey for a while now,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: and I've been very aware there's been moments that you've
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: really struggled. But to see you sit here now and
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: to talk about your situation and the hardships of what
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: it's like to go through this journey of sobriety with
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: so much pain in your voice, it makes me really
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: angry because it's so unfair. And I think when you're
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: in your position and you're working so hard to better yourself,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: to be a better man, a better husband, a better dad,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: and that's met with your body punishing you. You've got
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: this internal fight that as you try and do better,
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: it's doing all it can to try and drag you
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: back into having alcohol again. And I think it shouldn't
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: be like that. If you can't even rely on your
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: own mind, your own internal monologue to try and give
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: you that little electra push, if that's working against you,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: then fuck, I can't even begin to imagine how hard
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: that must be for you, And I'm just so glad
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: that you're still there fighting every single day.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Everyone's going to be fighting their own demons, whatever that
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: might be. Yeah, I think, like we mentioned it before,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: it's super important and what's been important that I've always
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: I've always said that everyone should see a therapist once
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: in their life, regardless of what their circumstances are, whether
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: they especially if they've got access to doing so, or
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: talk to a friend like so many you know, so
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: many you know, moms and dads and stuff that approached
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: me and stuff and want you know, asked me about
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: it and stuff like that because they're worried that maybe
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: their partner might be going through the same thing.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when you think through those you know, one hundred
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: odd ninety odd days, when there were moments where you
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: were really doing it tough, what were the little moments
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: that really helped give you that energy to keep going.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: There was a pretty significant moment where it was a
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: pretty rough day. I was it was already a rough
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: day made rough by a drop off of meds. Like
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: the ADHD. Stuff with the meds is great, but then
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: sometimes there's a drop off just didn't metabolize things quicker
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: some days, and it happens, and I missed time, and
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: I was just like really down, like I wasn't I
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: was just quiet and that's not like me, as you
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: can know. And then I remember it was shower time
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: for the kids, and I remember Macey just like she
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: was in the shower and I was sitting there sort
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: of waiting, and she just like rubbed the steam off
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: the door and looked.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: At me, and that was it.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, Yeah, it was just a moment
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: where you're like, fuck, fuck, I can't believe that I
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: had missed so much of that, Like I was there
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: but not yeah, And I would spend and so much
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: time trying to avoid the feelings thought the responsibility. But
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: she was so happy and.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Just melted me. I think we've been doing this for
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: three years now, so it's kind of just like muscle
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: memory that we get up on a Tuesday and we
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: start recording. But I think it's really important not to
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: underestimate how brave it is for you to be open
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: as you are right now about what you're going through,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: because there are so many people out there, parents, non parents,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: who are going through similar battles, and it feels for
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: them easier to do it alone and to not open
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: up to anyone and to not give oxygen to the
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: struggles and the thoughts that they're having. So I really
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: want to say thank you so much, you know, because like, dude,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: fuck it would for you not to be here would
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: be like destroying me, you know, like and that's like
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: a selfish way of looking at it, like, but you know,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: like I would much rather be up late fielding phone
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: calls with you than dealing with you not being here.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm just so thankful that you are talking about it,
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: you know, and you'll you'll feel confident enough to talk
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: to me, and like, man, it's the confidence that you
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: have and the bravery that you have to talk about
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: it with everyone listening right now on the podcast, like
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: it's I would never want you to underestimate the strength
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: that you have to do that. I really want to
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: just say, well done, thank you, like it's amazing. And
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I think we're going to pull up short on this episode,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: and I think we'll park everything till next week. And
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I think and if there is anyone listening right now
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: who has their own struggles going on, we will of
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: course put some links and some numbers and some contacts
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: for some really amazing organizations out there that you can
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: reach out to, but also to your friends and family.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: Please reach out to them first and foremost.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: And don't be too proud.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: That's the thing.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: I've always been very vocal. I've always been very honest
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: about my mental health struggles. But this has been the
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: hardest one. And I think if I let my pride
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: get in a way of that or anything else, I'd
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: regret that. I think anyone, especially a young dad, young parent, whatever,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: before you level up, that voice will tell you to
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: step back before you level up. So ignore, ignore that,
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: and level up. That's all I can say.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Fucking love you. Thank you very much, thank you, Thank you, guys.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: You finally got me to cry. I've been waiting for
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: this day for so late. You told me, you told you,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: you said, I pre warned you, and I thought you
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: were joking.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: I tried to have this conversation a few times, but
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: just to try and get it out, but it's just
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: so it's tough.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: I hope this is the first of many. I'll cry
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: every way. We'll see you guys next week. Two Doting
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: and the connections to land, see and community.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: The People's Today. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land.