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Healing Religious Trauma and Becoming Your Authentic Self with Jordan Laurelle · Reclaiming Consciousness

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I wore ankle-length skirts.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't get married till I was 24, which was actually quite young.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I did not have sex till my wedding night.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: I did not even kiss anybody till I was engaged.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: There was no drinking.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: There was no dancing.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: There was no music that wasn't Christian, except classical was okay.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: But when you started to get drums involved, that's when it was like, this is devil worship.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was told that I would always be under a man's authority.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: I would always have to submit to a man and I'd be passed from my father to my husband, which is why that relationship ended up being quite controlling.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's almost like the woman was there for men, which is why it ended up being sexually abusive.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could not say no to him and I had to have sex with him.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: The whole point of the religion was to connect to God, but God is within us.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think when you rely too much on anything outside of you, you miss the whole point of it, which is to connect with your higher self.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Elise Bessine, spiritual mentor, breathwork practitioner, and owner and CEO of Elise Breeds.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are, and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising consciousness and creating a new way of living on this earth.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited for this week's guest, Jordan Lorel.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Her story is really fascinating.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And just from a trauma perspective, I was so excited to have her on the show.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I connected with her because I was on her podcast.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then I found out that she lives in Philly or around Philly area.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: She goes between Philly and New York.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So we actually met in person and um we had coffee together and we're like hanging out again this week.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And like she's just the coolest girl.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And her background is she grew up with a very strict religious upbringing.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: She describes it as a cult.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just gonna call it that.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So she was raised in a cult, essentially.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know the name of it, and I don't think she mentioned in the episode, but it was a very strong Christian upbringing.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And she shares her story about how that impacted her, how that traumatized her, how it ended up leading her to get married at a very young age, and then subsequently ended up getting divorced.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she shares her story.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about the trauma and how that affected her and how she healed from it.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And also she recently was part of the Sacred Money Mind.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And she shares about her experience there and how that helped her on her journey of clearing the trauma around the mother wound and the abandonment wound and all the other things.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really excited about this episode because I don't know if you guys know this, but I am fascinated by all types of trauma.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you know that, but especially religious trauma, cults, and stuff like that, because I am really interested in the psychology of it and understanding the effects on the human psyche and then also how trauma affects the developing brain as a child and how it affects people and how they live their lives.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I'm obsessed with that.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So this was just like a powerful episode.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you guys are gonna love it.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So enjoy the episode with Jordan.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you follow her on Instagram.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: She actually was a fashion influencer for a long time, and she has transitioned into more of the coaching world.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: She teaches about magnetism and manifestation.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely follow her.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: We will link her Instagram below.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then just a couple of announcements here.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we have Past Lives and Money starting on June 24th.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited, you guys, for all the people that are signing up.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I love how everyone is really just diving into this and understanding the magnitude of these tools that I'm sharing because what I'm sharing with you on past lives and money is literally the four past life archetypal energies that I have seen come up for every single woman that I've worked with.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And now in four years, I've worked with a lot of women, probably over a hundred at this point.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I have not seen one of them that has not come up against these four energies.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: So if you learn how to shift them and you learn how to recognize them and dissolve them, which I'm gonna teach you in the program, moving forward in your growth, even if you don't have a business, but especially in your business, it is going to skyrocket.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like if you struggle with the fear of being seen, with making just enough money all of the time, with the fear of what other people are gonna think of you, all of that stuff, it is actually rooted in past life energy.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I show you how to recognize it and clear it so that you don't even have to think about the fear of being seen, or you naturally just make more than enough money because that's what you're meant to do.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: So these are really important things for people to understand and know.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I am making it available to you very easily.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's five five five or two payments of 278.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have any questions about the program, reach out to me.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Also, the other really cool thing is I am offering a bonus when you sign up.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: You get my birth story breakthrough digital program absolutely free.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And this is again another set of tools that pretty much nobody talks about, but is so important to clearing trauma and creating momentum in your growth.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Your birth story is the circumstances surrounding your birth from conception until three months old, which creates an energetic imprint around the way that you see the world.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So depending on what was going on with your parents, what was going on in the world and the circumstances you were born into, it will create a lens through which you look at the world and you will not know that you'll be looking at the world that way.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it definitely affects the way that you start things.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've had trouble getting your business off the ground, if you've had trouble starting projects and then not finishing them, you want this program because your birth energy will always cloud the way that you start things.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then it'll also create a lens through which you look at the world and the way that you're expecting the world to be.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very important to look at this.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the tools that I've created for you are incredibly powerful in accessing the subconscious mind.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to ask anyone about your birth.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: You literally just need to use the breathwork and the meditation because people have wild experiences with these where they have memories of stuff or they have awarenesses of things where they're like, How could I know that?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's all in your subconscious.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the breathwork and the meditation will help you bring to your awareness anything you need to know and clear out anything that is stopping you from living in the way that you want to live and creating what you want to create.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, you guys, birth story is a game changer.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Again, no one talks about it, but it is one of the most important things to look at if you are trying to create something and it's not happening, or you're confused about which way to go next, or you keep hitting a ceiling and you don't know why you can't get past it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Birth story is something you cannot ignore and you get it completely free when you sign up for Past Lives and Money.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: So go do that now.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: We'll link it below.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then also, really quick, I do have a couple of spots open right now for private.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So reach out to me so we can chat about it because typically what I've been doing for people because I really like to create private packages that are hyper specific to the work that you specifically need to do.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'll do is I will talk to you and I will get an idea of what our trajectory of work will be, our scope of work.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then I will come up with a couple of options for you.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you do have a budget, you can let me know what that is.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I will, you know, create something within that, obviously within reason, but we can chat.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are someone that has been looking to do private, I freaking love working with people privately.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of my favorite things to do ever because we just move so fast.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you talk to anyone who's worked with me privately, they will tell you the same thing.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is magic because I can see things very quickly.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a private client start with me and she was dealing with an issue that had been longstanding.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Literally for four years, she brought it to every single coach that she worked with.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody could help her.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: They all just told her the same thing about like changing her mindset or how to structure her business to kind of like get over this thing.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I within two weeks saw exactly what it was and we shifted it.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that was after four years of her bringing it to all these other people.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's me not saying anything bad about anyone else.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's just my ability to see trauma, wounding, and truth very quickly.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it creates momentum.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're interested in that, reach out, just email info to elisebrees.com or DM me on Instagram at elise underscore breeze, and we can chat about that.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Also, don't forget to rate and review the show.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you send me a screenshot of your review, I will send you a$250 credit to use on anything in my world, which you could use for past lives of money.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So reach out to me.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I am sending you lots of love and enjoy the episode.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I am so excited today to introduce you to Jordan, who I already have had such a profound connection with, and I know you guys are gonna love her.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome to the show, Jordan.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very, very excited to be here.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So can you just share a little bit about who you are and just kind of how you got to where you are now?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we're gonna dive in even deeper, but just introduce yourself to the audience.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's so interesting.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: I had a conversation with somebody recently about who are you?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like when somebody asks you that, how do you how do you even begin?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's like such a big question.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I am a very happy, healed human right now.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I think that's the part of me I'm most excited about.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I've been through a lot.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was raised in essentially a cult that was very disempowering towards women and left me quite damaged and traumatized.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: Got myself in an uh a marriage that was abusive in some ways and uh was doing something that I did not love at the time.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was a classical pianist, and something in me really struggles with being out of alignment with myself.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And the more I have healed and connected to myself, the stronger that has gotten.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I just started feeling like I can't do this anymore.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot live this way.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was experiencing depression and anxiety.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: I had an eating disorder, I was numbing out constantly, and I knew there was better available.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Something in me told me, like, it does not have to be this way.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: You do not have to suffer and struggle like this.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I finally started taking steps to create better for myself.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I got out of my marriage and then COVID hit about four months later, and I was sat on my ass in my apartment, and I was like, okay, I'm figuring this out.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know there's a way for me to not suffer the way I am, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I started with psychology and I just immersed myself in everything and anything I could find.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: I read everything, consumed everything, and I did the work.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like I treated the work like my full-time job for the last several years, and I have seen massive transformation, massive growth.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: At the time I had also gotten out of my career as a pianist and started being a style and beauty and travel influencer and built quite a following by the time COVID hit.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that was my full-time job.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: I could not help but share all of the things that were happening in my transformation from learning even just about how to handle my mental health better.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I started shifting to that more.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: I did some training to be a life coach.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: And at the end of 2021, I was getting out of a relationship and it was very painful.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I decided to just move across the country by myself with my cat.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that was when I discovered manifestation.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like all of the healing work I had done had gotten me stable, but nothing lit me up and gave me just this fire inside me and passion for life as manifestation to because that's when I really started living in my power.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like I started claiming my power.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: I stopped living as a victim, which I had every right to.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, this isn't serving me anymore.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can create magic for myself.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: I truly believe it.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that really catapulted me into what I'm doing now.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: I still do a little bit of the influencer stuff with brands that I truly love, but I really have been building out my coaching programs and coaching business and doing one-on-one coaching focused on magnetism.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, really, not even more than that stage, becoming somebody who just naturally attracts things because of their status quo vibration.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I started a podcast, which I'm relaunching and rebranding this month, actually.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: So exciting.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: I have my first signature course coming out.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: So just yeah, it's been a huge journey, but I feel so in my purpose, so aligned, so lit up about life and just really, really grateful.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love this so much.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I really want to dive into all of this with you because I want to like go back to your upbringing and the way you were raised.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you call it a cult.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I know it was like super religious.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And just like, if you can just share, because I love to just kind of start there what that was, and like what were some of the ways that you were raised or things that you were taught that were really like traumatizing or damaging to your psyche, and then also how you eventually got out of that, and then also how some of that stuff still impacts you now, or what are some of the things that still kind of come up at times?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's such a good question because I was literally doing tapping and crying and releasing some things this morning, actually.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: So the reason why I call it that, because obviously I would never want to be disparaging towards anybody's belief system, you know, whatever works for, you know, we're also different when we all have that relationship with the divine.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: I call it a cult because it went completely against positive psychology in so many ways and actually did traumatize people.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it was quite extreme.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I wore ankle-length skirts, I didn't get married till I was 24, uh, which is actually quite young.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I did not have sex till my wedding night.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I did not even kiss anybody till I was engaged.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: There was no drinking, there was no dancing, there was no music that wasn't Christian, except classical was okay.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: But when you started to get drums involved, that's when it was like, this is devil worship.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was told that I would always be under a man's authority.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I would always have to submit to a man and I'd be passed from my father to my husband, which is why that relationship ended up being quite controlling.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's almost like the woman was there for men, which is why it ended up being sexually abusive.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could not say no to him and I had to have sex with him.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: He was very forceful about that.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: He would manipulate me if he wasn't physically making me, and I didn't have my own ability to make decisions for myself and to be myself.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I guess to get in some of the trauma, one of the beliefs is that we are inherently wicked.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I grew up believing that I was something was wrong with me and I was inherently bad, and I needed to be so scared of myself and my desires because I was probably trying to do something bad at all times.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I also then was raised with this belief that, you know, God was always there, about ready to punish me to get me back in line.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's this very judgmental view of the higher power, however, you might refer to that as God or the universe or source.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: But so I also lived in this constant state of fear, which honestly, thinking about it and thinking about some of our conversations, like kind of tied to the mother wound because it was this like it was perfectionism.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had to be perfect, and I was so so afraid of what would happen and being punished if I wasn't perfect.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: I constantly lived from that belief that I was desperately wicked, that I wasn't enough.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that belief has been playing out in my life, and I've been doing so much work on that, rooting in the fact that I am just inherently enough and beautiful as I am.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up with a lot of body dysmorphia and a lot of shame surrounding my body.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: I was told in Sunday school, I remember this, I was about 14, that if a man could tell I had boobs or a butt, I was causing him to stumble and sin.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: That was a worse sin for me to cause somebody else to sin.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, that's codependency, right?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm responsible for a man doing something wrong.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, so messed up.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: But it also created so much shame around my body, so much shame of being seen as well, seen taking up space.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I remember for so long I struggled to receive any kind of attention because it just felt so unsafe in my body.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: What else?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot there.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know there's so much there.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: When it came to you know getting into a relationship, it was the kind of thing where you weren't really allowed to do that unless it was for marriage.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So was it the kind of thing where like the first person you were interested in is like the one you ended up marrying?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Is that how it usually goes in these types of scenarios?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how does that work?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh goodness.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a very interesting dynamic.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I was told this too.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: Here's another little traumatizing thing that was done to us poor women.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was told that every time I liked a guy, I was giving him a piece of my heart.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And if I kept liking men and giving them pieces of my heart, eventually there would only be a little crumb left for me to give to my husband, and I would be depriving him of the fullness of me that he was supposed to receive.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's so Jesus.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can't even not laugh now because it's wild, but I truly felt so much shame and guilt every time I liked a guy.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, oh my God, like I'm giving him a piece of my heart.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: I this is like supposed to go to my husband.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: So there was so much fear around everything.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: But I just remember I the first guy I dated, it was technically we were courting.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: The parents were heavily involved, and it was really about getting to know each other.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: We were allowed to hold hands eventually, but we courted for nine months.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: And one day he after we were talking about marriage because yes, it was supposed to, it was literally preparing to get to know each other to marry.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, did the parents set this up or did you choose him?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I did choose him, I liked him in college, yeah.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: But he's obviously in the church.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry to go on a little tangent.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just have one question before I forget.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: So were you allowed to like watch TV and things, or were you completely isolated from the outside world?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm guessing like TV and stuff might not have the desired effect on people, right?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, exactly.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't supposed to hang out with people who weren't of the same mindset.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: It was very much kind of like a bubble, trying to keep you in the bubble and not have a lot of outside exposure.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: There were some families that didn't.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was allowed to watch like G and PG.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't really allowed to watch past that, even in college.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: I would sneak sometimes.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I watched America's Next Top Model and Project Runway because I loved fashion, but I was not supposed to.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: And certain families thought that like would not go to the movie theaters because that was supporting Hollywood, which was also demonic and it was a sliding scale with some of these things.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: I get teased to this day because I feel I don't know a lot of pop culture because of that, because I was yeah, isolated from that.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Did you go to like a regular school or was there a special school that you guys went to?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: We only went to Christian school, but then eventually the Christian school we were in wasn't strict enough or godly enough.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: So my brother and I got pulled out and we were homeschooled and in this homeschooled community.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then when it comes to dating, you got to like quote unquote pick the person, but your parents were still heavily involved.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it would obviously have to be somebody who was in the same religion.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and they had to approve of him.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, they they approved to the sky.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that wasn't the one you ended up marrying, though.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: No, he uh wrote me a love letter on my birthday, and then about a week and a half later told me he didn't love me anymore.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was quite destroyed for months.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh God.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then yeah, yeah, some trauma around men and abandonment, more abandonment wounding.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: But no, then that was about I was 21 when that happened, just turned 21.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I was 23, I met my ex-husband at a Christmas church event.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't that into him, but I remember just being so excited that somebody like liked me because I was so not used to being chosen and having people like feeling good about myself.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he he also was very aggressive, and I was very easily malleable and controllable, as I was so used to being.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was very much push over.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I didn't really, I wasn't that into him.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And my parents were kind of like, he's such a good guy, give him a chance.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think they meant to be telling me what to do.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like they didn't mean to be as pushy as they were, but for me, I was so easily swayed.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then like he's like in love with me a month or two later, wanting to get engaged, and he was so kind to me, and I really did have fun with him, but yeah, I was kind of very much a just going with what I was kind of being pushed into by him and my parents, and then also going with something that actually was quite nurturing, and I wasn't used to have it being treated so well, and was like, Oh, I guess this is love, and you weren't supposed to think about anything physical and sex.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like that was so awful.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't have a sex talk.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or anything like it was just like this thing that you're supposed to turn on a switch, I guess, on your wedding night, and just all of a sudden love sex and or something, but yeah, so I didn't think about that.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's insane.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because then what happens?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: You so you don't think about sex at all until like when did it occur to you that you're like, okay, I'm going to need to have sex with this person?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And like, do I want to?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what was your like process around that?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or did you not even know?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think I was really excited to experience it because it was like this taboo thing that like we weren't supposed to do.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: But like obviously it's the movies and music, like all that stuff's about it.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I was just like excited for it.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: But physical attraction just wasn't like physical chemistry, I think, felt so unsafe to me to like tap into even because that was like giving away even more of my heart.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't really let myself be there, think about that at all, really.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I was getting excited, but yeah, it wasn't until I realized, I guess within the first six months, I was like, oh God, I'm not in love with this person.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm also not really attracted to him.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the sex is not good.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Or like I was like, I've this should be better.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was very painful for me.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is a weird question, but I just have to ask this.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, did you like understand what it was, like the mechanics of it before it actually happened?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or when it happened, were you like, oh, this is what this is?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what the fuck?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, I have like a year or two before I got married, I'd like gone on Playboy and I'd like researched stuff.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, wait, I want to know.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I like knew enough.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know, but it's like it's just interesting to me because it's like if you're not allowed to think about it or talk about it, then like, how are you supposed to know then once you, you know, get married?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, it's just then you'd whip a switch and all of a sudden, like that makes no sense.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was so unprepared for all of it.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: So unprepared.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a form of escapism almost.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's like everything was spiritualized and about spirituality.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, wait, we're like humans here with physical things, and like everything was over-spiritualized.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so it left me very unprepared.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was very prepared to be an adult in so many ways from my upbringing.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was so undersocialized from homeschooling, I was so naive about the world.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like there was so much that just needed to be learned in my 20s.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I definitely set my 20s learning what most people probably learn in their teenage years, which was very difficult.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're married, and then you know, you just gradually start realizing I'm not happy.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then, like, how did that process go?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, was he wanting to stay married and you weren't, or was it kind of like a mutual thing?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I knew about two years in, finally, I was like, I am not attracted to you, I'm not in love with you, and I don't think this is fixable.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't think you can fix this stuff in therapy because he was like, No, we'll fix it.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I was not allowed to get divorced.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he was still the authority.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, no, like you're not allowed to divorce me.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't allowed to get tattoos, I wasn't allowed to travel without him.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there were certain things I was allowed or not allowed to do.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: He was very possessive and controlling.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: So thank God for my blog.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: I started going up to New York and he did love me.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: He really was good to me in so many ways.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um and was very supportive.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: And he wanted me to be happy.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I think he also knew if I was happy, that would keep the relationship calmer if I had my thing.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I started going up to New York and going to events, and I'm starting to hang out with people that are not in this religion.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I start realizing, like, oh God, like this is like crazy.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: What I've experienced is crazy and messed up.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: And like my marriage is not what marriage is supposed to be.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: You're supposed to be in love.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started really pushing to get divorced, but it took me a long time because I wasn't allowed, it wasn't acceptable in the community.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you how many times I tried to pray away my eating disorder and I tried to pray that God would forgive me for not being grateful for my husband and that he would help me love him.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I truly thought I was the problem.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just needed to repent more and just work on myself more.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, I think I started realizing that no, like I actually deserve to be happy and this isn't how things are supposed to be from these people I was meeting in New York.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I met a man in New York who was first started pursuing me, and I was very firm with him.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I will not do anything outside of my marriage.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I had feelings for him.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I that was, I think, the catalyst for me being like, oh, it can actually be really amazing.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I can actually have feelings for the person because part of me, like I knew it, but do you know how like when you're manifesting something and like you know it's possible, but it happens, and it always happens better than we can imagine.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: I've been having had this happen this week, um, actually with dating.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: I've just been like, oh my God, like I knew it.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: I knew this was possible, I knew it would be amazing, but like, holy shit, I was starting to experience those things.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, wait a second, like this stuff that I felt deep down that I've known, I need to listen to this.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's something there.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that it could be better.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was supposed to be better.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so eventually I decided to, that's how I put my foot down to get separated.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I was like, I want to have feelings for whoever I'm I'm with.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you wanting to get a divorce, I would assume that that would also give you some kind of like feeling that you need to exit the religion too, or you wanted to separate yourself from that as well.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, did that kind of go together?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was a gradual deprogramming.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: I actually, around COVID, when I started really diving into this healing stuff, I found a church that was really mostly preaching love.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, like I feel like is one of the best in Christian interpretations of the Bible slash just truth in general.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: It really was preaching the message that we are so loved and we are perfect and we are beautiful.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And he wove so much positive psychology into his teachings and preachings.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: It was kind of the perfect phase out of religion for me because it I still was too scared to abandon all of that because there's like they're so rigid, you know.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody else is going to hell.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Our way is the right way.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't believe what we believe, you work dying and going to hell.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, unfortunately, sorry.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like this is the truth.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it was very scary to leave that.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that was kind of the perfect segue because it really helped me start practicing love and compassion, it helped me root in faith because I had so much fear and anxiety, and it helped me start to trust that like I was gonna be okay and everything was working out for me.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I could imagine like it being so scary because since you're born, basically, you're told that if you don't believe this, then you're gonna go to hell.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's like really scary.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure even though you have this like feeling deep inside, it still is so programmed into you that I'm sure it could feel like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna die, you know, if I don't do this.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I'm sure that was really scary.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: So then you started kind of gradually deprogramming.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then what else led you to really extricate yourself from this?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I started dating somebody a couple of months after that, July 2020.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: So about six months after uh we got divorced.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he was such a sweet, beautiful human, so traumatized, so wounded from religion as me.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: He grew up in a similar religion.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so while that was definitely a trauma bond, it was very healing for both of us because he was also digging and doing a lot of unpacking and he found universalism, which I resonated with me a bit at the time, and just finding these different ways of viewing and interpreting this book that we were told was the be all, and then kind of putting it together with actually what I thought was true and also with positive psychology, because that became such a just a foundation for me, but also a source of healing for me.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was so abused in my family growing up.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: My my mom had anger issues.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: The things that she said to my brother and I, we were physically beat, like it was really, really abusive.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew I knew it wasn't right and it wasn't fair, and I didn't deserve to be treated that way.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so positive psychology I found so validating.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, I've been being gaslit, and that is a fucked up thing.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like it really validated me because I was like, I knew it.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then he also was really doing this healing work and recovering from a lot of abuse.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we kind of validated each other, then also finding manifestation starting to release this mentality of a victim and this identity of a victim that I had, and step into this new identity of like, no, I'm a powerful being and I can create my reality and I'm in charge of what's happening here.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of, I think, when I was like, I don't believe in the way these things you're telling me they work because they've done so much damage.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: And these things that I found now, I am actually happier and healthier than I ever have been.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm functioning like way more than I ever have been.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, I think that was kind of the transition was just seeing, seeing the actual proof of what this healing work and also having a healthy mindset does.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like, I can't buy this anymore.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like obviously the proof is right there.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is making me miserable and this is making me happy.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, what there's not really a question, you know?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm curious to know, this is like a little bit of a tangent, but I would love your perspective on this.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, you know how recently I'd say in the last few years, there's been a lot of people that have like gone from being like new age spiritual people to now like going back to like the Bible and stuff.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: What is your take on that?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you think about that based on your experience and what you went through?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I find like healed so much from the religious trauma that I'm actually have been able to have really beautiful moments recently where I've been like, oh, that's what that verse was supposed to mean.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: And like I really see now it's such a beautiful text and there is so much truth there, but it also was written by humans and like it was written in a different culture.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: It was also retranslated so many times.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think there's a lot of beautiful truth, but I think it needs to be taken with a grain of salt.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: And also, like, there's so many other beautiful books, like the Quran and the Buddhist.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've what's I don't know what the book is.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, yeah, I don't remember the name of it either, but I know you're talking.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's all man's attempt to connect with the divine.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we can always benefit from learning from other people's attempt to connect with the divine, but I don't outsource anymore.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was one of the biggest things that shifted for me.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think religion taught me to outsource and that everything I was looking for God and a man to save me my entire life.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized no one's coming.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like I need to save me, and I did that.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: And now I tune inward, I source everything internally, and then external is all support.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's totally fine to use astrology, numerology, religious text for support.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: But I think spirituality maybe got a little ungrounded and it needed something to ground it.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: That would be my guess why that's happening.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: I think when you lean too much on things outside of you, I think you become a little susceptible to missing the whole point because the whole point of the religion was to connect to God, but God is within us.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think when you rely too much on anything outside of you, you miss the whole point of it, which is to connect with your higher self.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, I totally agree.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone should do what they want to do, but I totally agree with you that it's all about connecting to your way of connecting to the divine, because that is what this is all about.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where we're headed.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that it's something that everyone has to have their own path to, but like the healing is such an important piece of that.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd love to get a little bit more into that with you too.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, obviously you found all of these tools.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know you mentioned the mother wound, and I know you just were in the sacred money mine and you had a lot of ahas there too.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to hear more about that as part of your healing process and how you kind of realized how some of this stuff was impacting you.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: Beyond just the religion.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, I feel so I'm all about manifestation, and manifestation is about being in flow with you, yourself, and the universe.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I was my beginning in manifestation, I was so, so frustrated because it was so hit or missed, and I was stuck.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I I would either couldn't manifest certain things or I would manifest them and I would sabotage them.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was either stuck settling, or I was stuck self-sabotaging, and I was so, and I was like, I'm gonna figure this out.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it was the getting in flow with me that shifted those things.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm no longer settling and I'm no longer self-sabotaging or very, very infrequently.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: I know how to identify it and shift it when I am.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where the trauma work comes in and the sacred money mind, there was some huge things that I shifted in that.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'd been doing a lot of work on the mother wound and feeling enough, and I'd been doing a lot of work on my abandonment wound.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: But this was such a specific takeaway from the program was I was doing a lot of work on my abandonment wound, which by the way, I was adopted.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: I also had an emotionally unavailable parents, and I had all these stuff with men.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, like deep abandonment wounding going on.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been working so hard on it and I've seen a lot of shifts, especially as I really built that connection to me and self-trust.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I couldn't figure out why I was creating such fist and famine cycles with money.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't understand why I would call in huge amounts of money and then I would get so triggered and I would go into anxiety and scarcity and I'd be so afraid then around money.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, what the heck?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this makes the least amount of sense of all the times to be so stressed and triggered around money.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why is it when I'm calling a lot in?
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized it's because when I was growing up, whenever things were good, I knew that that wasn't going to last.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that the good never lasted.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: So when it did get good, it probably meant that something bad was happening.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so that expectation, I was expecting it and I was recreating it in my life.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I did some work to neutralize that and heal that and shift that.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I have felt so much consistency come in from doing that and just things being steadier and safer.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel so much safer, even when there is space between me and money, or between me and my creativity, or between me and a guy, like that space is so much less triggering to me, which I was getting afraid of not just things getting bad.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was afraid of the space between money coming in, which also then tied into the abandonment wound.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: But that was a huge thing that I just felt such a shift in my energy from that.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I hear this specific thing a lot from people, and it can show up in different ways, but it's like not trusting the good because, like growing up, it was always like, well, if your mom is being nice right now, it's not going to last, or you can't like trust that you're going to feel that connection or that love or that support for an extended period of time.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like bracing for the other shoe to drop, essentially.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like you can't even enjoy anything because anytime something happens, you're like, oh my gosh, now I need to race for the bad thing to happen.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: Was that something that you felt like just happened overall in your household, or was that related to like your mom more specifically, or was it more like a religious thing?
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it was all three, to be honest, because in religion, like suffering was celebrated.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like you were celebrated if you were a martyr.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: You were supposed to be happy with suffering.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of it came from that where it was almost like I also felt really, really bad if things started to go well for me.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, who am I to receive this?
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because we were like wicked humans.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like we didn't deserve it.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's only because God and that belief of like, you don't deserve good things, is like, damn, that's something I'm still working on.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm still working on receiving and not having this come up every time it gets better and better.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: When I start receiving more, I have to sit down and do work.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I was doing that this morning because I was like, things have been getting so good.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been calling in so many amazing things.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that part of me, especially from religion, it was like, oh no, like this is a trick.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't real.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't real.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's gonna crash and burn, and it's not safe to trust this.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And like, no, like I'm done with that energy.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I get to receive good things, I'm worthy of good things, and it gets to get better and better.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: There is no other two to draw.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Those are lies, they're ghost stories, and I'm burying them.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need to carry them with me anymore.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Sitting with myself and working with my nervous system, like I had to do in the FT tapping.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: I had to cry, I had to like get angry.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: I got really angry and I was like, this works for me sometimes.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just get fed up and I'll be like, no, this is not how it is anymore.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm completely done with this.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: That shifts energy for me too, sometimes.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't allowed to be angry.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't have a voice.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't allowed to talk back to my parents.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think having my say with the universe sometimes does it for me.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, I mean, I think that's a huge thing.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of even like outside of religion, I think, especially with women, we're we kind of get that message too that we're not allowed to be angry.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's like bad if you're angry.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: So we don't even allow ourselves to go there emotionally because it's like too scary or we're like scared of what is gonna happen if we allow ourselves to be angry.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I see that a lot with clients too.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you need to have that like breaking point where you're like, no, like I'm fucking tired of this.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want this anymore.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of like shifts something because you get to that point where you're like, I am done.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's an energetic decision.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I've seen that so many times.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think that that is really interesting.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: And also what you said about not having a voice or not feeling like you could have a voice, that's a really big piece of the puzzle too.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Cause it's like also then being able to value your feelings, value your opinion, value you, it seems like different than what you were taught.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I could see that's how that would like impact your ability to feel like you're deserving of good things.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then also that suffering thing, I feel like is huge because that's the most fucked up thing is like you should be happy with suffering.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's an oxymoron.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, suffering literally means you're miserable.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, how can you be happy with suffering?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that literally makes no sense.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: Who came up with that?
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't understand it.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's so, it's so sad.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that's the good news I want to share with everybody in the world and like my purpose with my platforms, like it gets to get better and better.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: It can get better and better and better, and you can actually enjoy your life.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: And that is your birthright.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you deserve.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: You deserve to feel good and to be happy.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe I lived most of my life not believing that.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious to know too.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know you said you have a pretty good relationship with your parents now, even though you're not really in the religion anymore.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: But do you still talk to any friends or people who are still in it?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: Or are there any people you know that were your age that are wanting to get out of it?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm curious if that's still like a part of your experience at all.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, I really don't have relationships.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: The interesting thing is, quite a few men and women have reached out to me on my platforms, thanking me for sharing my story and resonating so much.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think there are so many people that were so damaged that are searching for the light and the truth and the healing after this experience.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the rest of them are so brainwashed and so stuck in it.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: People are so scared.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, you're told you're going to die if you don't believe this stuff.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, it's really scary to leave it.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: And your brain obviously thinks you're gonna die.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, your nervous system is trying to protect you from threats and like also being like ostracized from a community, all of those are threats to your brain.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: You're being told that your soul is in hell.
• 42:10
  unknown: Yeah.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: Did you feel ostracized as you left the religion?
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, my maid of honor, when I told her that I was getting divorced, she was like, Well, God's gonna have to judge you.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: My poor fragile self just like broke down crying.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: It was like needed to get off the phone.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then I like stopped talking to her.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: I felt really scared, but I had been connecting so much more with these people that I was meeting that weren't part of it, that were helping empower me and getting out of it.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and this, if this isn't a sign, like it felt so icky.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: The beliefs and the way of life was so icky.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just wanted nothing to do with it.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was so excited to be embraced by these people, even though I was so scared that I was wrong and I was gonna crash and burn, um, which by the way, doesn't happen when you're truly following alignment and your gut.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I was getting so much love and acceptance from these people.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, okay, well, I'm going for this because this is what feels good and this is what I need right now.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's really good.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm curious to know too, you know, the abandonment wound stuff and on any of the religious kind of programming.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see it surfacing at all like as you are growing your business and especially as you are stepping into like more of the coaching role and launching your first program?
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious to know like, does that stuff come up for you?
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: Cause it's almost like now you're teaching more spiritual things and that type of thing.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is that something that has come up for you as you're like planning all this stuff?
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not anymore.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: It did when I started doing coaching stuff a couple years ago and when I started to explore manifestation, but I know so deeply I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I've I've done so much healing work on this this wounding.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I would spend two to four hours a day, almost every day the last several years, doing this work because I, I mean, I'm an Aries and so I'm really intense and I'm the I'm the ram.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: I just like go when I am set on something, it happens.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I've spent so much time healing this stuff.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've done a lot in a really short amount of time of just a few years.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: I've completely transformed myself internally, most of all, but my external has also wildly transformed.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I started my podcast out called The Magical Human Experience, because I was starting to be like, wow.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: But like what actually changed first was me.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it was scary because at first I was like going against everything I was taught and everything I believed.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I truly believe what I'm teaching now is the actual gospel.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: This is the actual good news.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: You are perfect and worthy and good enough right now, and abundance is your birthright, and life can get good and you can feel good.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's supposed to feel good.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this is like the actual truth.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe that so deeply.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just excited to share the good news with people and have more people like experience this for themselves.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: I never thought I could feel as good as I do now.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so crazy how you transform so quickly.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: Cause even when you're saying, like, when you got divorced was like COVID, and I'm like, oh my God, COVID like wasn't that long ago.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's crazy, like how much shifted.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was just such a powerful time then, too, because so many people changed in so many ways, including myself.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I also feel like this interesting parallel between your experience and it being very extreme.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: But it's very similar to, I feel like what a lot of people are experiencing in the sense, and maybe it not not being like necessarily around religion, but also just breaking out of their lives and what they think they're supposed to be doing to like what they actually want to do.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a place that is really scary for people, or they feel like stuck, or they feel like they don't know how to break out of that.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you have done that in like such an extreme way that I feel like such a great, not only model, but also person to like teach how to do that.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, like for the person who feels like they need to get out of like their job or just what they're currently doing and step into what is really meant for them, but they're afraid.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say is the best way to deal with the fear or move through the fear?
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, this is why I love your work and what you do.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, for me, it's really get in a flow with yourself.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a big part of that is healing your trauma, befriending your nervous system, but really building that intimate, safe, strong relationship with yourself, learning to parent yourself, making peace with all your parts, getting in a flow.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like I am in a flow with myself.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: I truly feel like me and my inner child and my higher self are like this team and we're like doing it together.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I check in with them.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, sometimes it's a lot more than other times.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's the up levels.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: I I get, I do get triggered and I do hit new edges, but I have my processes now and my tools now.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: But coming to manifestation and doing those steps showed me all the areas that I was blocked and needed to do work to really fully embody.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's just about embodying the person who has the things you want, right?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: The steps get you there, but temporarily, it's like this is the work, this deep personal work on me that I've done to get really good within me.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_01: That is the biggest thing you can do to support yourself.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because you get outside your comfort zone, you know you have your own back.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know I've got me.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: The way I am showing up in dating right now, in my business online right now.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: I am so letting myself be fully seen and experienced and sharing my heart.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I never could have done that before.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: But the safety I have within myself and have created within myself is why I can do that.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: It really is all in you.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_01: But you've got to give you that love and that support first and foremost.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then from there, these things get so much easier because you're you're on your own team.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like that for me was such a powerful lesson as I grew my business.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like because I realized in the beginning, because I had never run a business before, it was like, okay, I have all these clients coming in and I'm making all this money.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: But then it's easy to be like at a place where you are relying on that for your safety.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I went through like multiple seasons of, you know, different programs running and different clients leaving, then it was like, oh, it's not sustainable to rely on that to feel safe.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like the safety has to come from within you.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's such an important journey that everyone has to go on because you can't sustain this type of thing if you're relying on stuff outside of you to feel safe.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like not gonna happen.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, that was really it.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's really the more I have created that within myself and validated myself, like given myself everything, the more it's just showing up in my external reality because I'm vibrating at that frequency.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it has to be a different path for everyone because everyone has different things that they don't feel safe around.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I created this thing because I just taught this free training of like feeling safe showing up on social media, which I relate to past life wounding.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I created this little process for everyone to create safety in their body and in their energy field.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, everybody needs to do this because it literally is the difference between being paralyzed in fear and not being able to move forward and actually being able to move forward, you know?
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I've literally seen that as a theme with every single person I've worked with.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it'll come from different things, but it's always comes back to feeling safe.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that you brought that up.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's so powerful, you know, to be able to have that relationship.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, what would you say from your experience is some of the most important factors that contributed to you feeling safe?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I obviously know it was the healing work, but is there anything else that you feel like really contributed to you starting to feel that in a deep way?
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, I think the biggest thing that really did that for me was learning how to be emotionally available to myself.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional availability is so important.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: I started to build that trust with myself that I could handle any emotion that came up.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I started actually handling it and processing it and releasing it.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: That was a huge shifter for me.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: I also, you know what helped?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because words are powerful.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: I also created an affirmation that would have go off on my phone every day.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I trust myself and I make good decisions.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it was really like really, yeah, just doing things and also showing up for myself, like taking care of myself and loving myself when I was having a hard time, which some of that is emotional availability, but some of it's just you're taking your body on a walk and you're putting good food in your body and you're cutting out negative people and you're setting boundaries with how you are going to be treated, like that also builds trust with you.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: You start to feel safe with you.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like I self-abandoned like crazy my entire life because I was abandoned.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I not only expected abandonment, I abandoned myself.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_01: And when I stopped abandoning myself and I started showing up as a provider, a protector, and a parent, that also helped create that safety internally that I just started to feel.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I see that with the abandonment stuff.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_00: I see that as such a theme with so many people I work with is the self-abandonment.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so tricky.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I could probably talk about this.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have a lot, a whole lot of time, but it's so tricky because you don't realize you're doing it, right?
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen so many people with this thing where they will self-abandon, but like they don't realize they're doing it.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: So it's almost like this trigger that goes off where it's like, okay, I can show up for myself for only so long.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden it's like you ghost yourself or they'll ghost me or something, or it'll be like, they're here, they're here, they're here, they're here.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden they're disappeared.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not like you just don't hear for them, it's like their energy's gone.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's a different energy that I've noticed with people who have abandonment stuff.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I've just from working with so many people, like I've I see patterns, right?
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I see the same thing that happens.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the self-abandonment thing is very interesting because I've found it challenging to help people through that because they will show up and then they all of a sudden just stop.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that it's something that takes a lot of wherewithal to be able to continue to come back and come back and come back until it shifts.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a tricky thing that I think a lot of people don't realize it's happening.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like they could just think, like, oh, I'm just lazy or I'm not motivated.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no, actually, it's your abandonment stop coming up.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, a lot of what I end up working on with my coaching clients is self-sabotage.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is all self-sabotage.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: Your nervous system doesn't feel safe with the things that it are actually good for it.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so you literally just have to retrain your nervous system to start feeling safe with the things that are gonna get you where you want to go.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's it's actually doing its job.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is supporting you, but it's supporting you in a way that actually is hurting you more than it's helping you.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: But it's just so wild.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know when it comes to manifestation, because I know that's part of what you teach.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what would you say are some of the things that people might miss or might not know that are really important to the process?
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: Healing this deep-rooted wounding and trauma that's causing what you want to feel unsafe to your nervous system, and then you just show up in funky ways that block it or sabotage it.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's so huge.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're we're living from our subconscious beliefs.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it was Carl Jung who said, until you make the unconscious conscious, it's going to run your life and you're gonna call it fate.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: So the steps of manifestation are helpful and they can help show you where you might be blocked.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: They do.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: That is how I started figuring out where I was blocked, was just following a seven-step process.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it really is like you can follow the steps to the cows come home.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't address this wounding and really get good within yourself, you're going to struggle to consistently and powerfully manifest because this stuff is gonna unconsciously keep running your life and keep having you sabotaging the things that you actually want.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because it is your brain's so, so smart and beautiful.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's doing its job, it's protecting you, but you don't want to protect you from the things that you want.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I find too, one of the common things I see with people is when the wounding isn't addressed, they're actually the things that they want to manifest are actually an effort to reconcile the wounding.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, oh, well, if I get this, then I'll finally feel good enough.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or if I have this, then I'll feel like there's not anything wrong with me anymore.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like wanting to manifest from a place of like trying to fill the void that they feel instead of it just being the thing that is most aligned for them.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: Or even I actually found myself, I just had to come back to more of a heart-centered place with myself recently.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it's amazing what came in after I did that.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I was hung up with a couple of like check boxes.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: They weren't coming from my heart, they were coming from wanting things because I thought they would give me what I wanted and needed.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it's interesting.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or just like what you think you're supposed to have or something would make you seem like you're winning or whatever.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or society tells you it needs to be this way, or or your culture, whatever.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_00: Parents, family, friends.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really tricky, I feel like, with manifestation, because I actually feel that when you are really just moving from what you are guided to do by your higher self, then like things manifest in the way they're supposed to, and you don't really have to try.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I do think there's power in like, okay, I want like a beach house.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna manifest that.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_00: But it also at the same time, it's like as I just go through life in the way I'm supposed to, these things will show up when they're supposed to.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_01: This is why I really shifted to calling it map magnetism.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_01: And um, my masterclass, my podcast, and my course all coming out are really about magnetism because I found that.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: I found that I started just naturally calling it everything in the right way at the right time and it being even better than I imagined and thought, which is why you're also probably such an amazing manifestor.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: And your clients are probably seeing they're naturally manifesting more and better in their own lives and what they want, because it really is about who you are being.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we're just we're naturally magnetic, we're naturally manifesting all the time.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_01: When you get good within yourself, like you're gonna be in that flow and you're just gonna be calling it all in.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be so beautiful.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that is so true.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for that and for sharing all of this.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_00: And can you just let people know where they can find you?
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then also, I know you have some stuff coming up.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it's like ready yet, but maybe you can just tell people so they'll be on the lookout for it.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thanks.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_01: So you can find me at J-O-R-D-A-N-L-A-U-R-E-L-L-E on pretty much all social platforms.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: My podcast is right now the magical human experience, but it's gonna be rebranded to the Magnetic News Podcast.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and yeah, I have a free masterclass coming out in June, course coming out in July, and hopefully lots more fun stuff, and hopefully we end up collaborating at some point.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, definitely.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_00: We definitely will.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: This was amazing.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing everything that you shared.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, I love your journey.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: And the the last thing I'll say is I think that even though what you went through was obviously traumatic, I think that it actually, you know, like as I was tuning into your energy when you were talking about like being able to be emotionally available for yourself, I think sometimes when we do go through these darker things, it actually creates this ability to be available and able to like hold yourself through harder things, you know?
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, even though that was the thing that was traumatic, it also ends up being the thing that allows you to truly be who you are or like the catalyst to be who you are.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really excited for you.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is all amazing.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you so much for being here.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, likewise.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review, and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit you can apply to anything else in my world.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds and by joining my Facebook group, Financial Freedom for Spiritual Entrepreneurs, where I share all of my most fun and potent content.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my breathwork for financial freedom at elisebreeds.com.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.