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Better Relationships Start With Better Conversations · The Eugene Hamilton Podcast

• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's going on, family?
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know it's been a minute.
• 0:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's been an intentional minute, though.
• 0:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's been a while, since I've uploaded a new episode and if you're tuning in right now, you're going to see it.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to be switching gears just a bit.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Want to lean into something that I think is very important.
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: something that is so important that we started actually a new company around it.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's about communication.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And for those that have been with us for 90 plus episodes, listen, we ain't going nowhere.
• 0:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, we're just pivoting a little bit in terms of content in terms of subject matter.
• 0:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm glad that you've tuned in and today you end for a treat, something because if you've tuned in, if you're watching this video,
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to think about this, this catchphrase.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: From here on out, I want you to always talk like you've got something to say.
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me put it this way.
• 1:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times we talk and there are many people who are in my line of work that talk, but don't really find themselves speaking to people.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: in a way that makes them memorable, right?
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you ever recall the first time you heard somebody of stature?
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: When I say stature, dignitaries, people that you may respect in certain spaces, the first time you heard them talk.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you remember the first time you heard somebody talk, they are a prime example of talking like you've got something to say, listen, my son is growing and his growing, his vocabulary is growing, right?
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's reading now, I'm in fact just at the time of this recording, he had a reading comprehension test and he made 100% on it, right?
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Understand this because as you read and there was a time because my son is he's moved out of the taller stage And those are the time when we could spell stuff out and he didn't know what we were talking about You know what I'm talking about right I could spell something to my wife that I didn't want him to hear I could spell something to remember whoever I was talking to and he had no clue what was going on But now he's like hearing me spell words and he's repeating it.
• 2:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you said whatever
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: T. I. L. E. That's tile.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm just this random.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: But in other words, because he understands the power of words.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because he understands the power of spelling words.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because he understands the power that words have.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, there's a verse in the Bible that talks about the fact that the power of life and death is in the tongue.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever had somebody say something to you
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever had somebody because you know this as well as I know this is is really never about what somebody says it's it's it's about what somebody or what the receiver hears Yeah, I'm going to say the game for the people in the back is really never about what I say it's about what you heard when I say what I said In other words, it's is oftentimes interesting when you are connecting with people when you are in conversation with people
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting how, in fact, have you ever did that game where you're sitting in a circle, maybe you did an elementary school, and you whispered in somebody's ear, and you repeated what the teacher said, and then they whispered in somebody's ear, and it went around about 12 people, and when it finally got back to the teacher, it was like totally off-base.
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It had nothing to do with her initial comment in the first person's ear.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've been there before.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or in fact, you may be not in elementary school.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe at your job, you said something.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And somebody went somewhere and misrepresented what you said, or somebody heard somebody else relayed to them.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they were like, oh, okay.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they spread to somebody else.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it was not, it was not what you said at all.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's what happens when we communicate and I heard somebody say this not long ago that lack of clarity is expensive.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: In other words, if I'm not clear in my communication, it could cost me relationships.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever told somebody something and they received it totally different or didn't hear exactly what you had to say.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe they heard what you said and filtered it through their own, I don't know, process of how they receive you.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you understand the power.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: of communication.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you understand the power of words, when you understand how your words carry more weight sometimes than you give your words credit for, you'll be careful.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Listen, I speak on a been blessed to be able to speak on quite a few stages, but I'm learning now.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So every time I open my mouth, that's the stage.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: This podcast is a stage.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Conversations that I have in the privacy of my own home with my wife, is a stage.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: The world can't see it, but it's an opportunity for me to carefully deliver my words in a way that the receiver is clear on what it is that I have to say.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they can take the message that I shared with him and not be fuzzy about where it should land, where it should go and my intent behind it.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me go back to the illustration of the teacher sharing a message with one student and by the time it gets to that 13th student, it's all out of whack.
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that somebody shared the message?
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: the wrong way on purpose.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, you see, we live in a world where people are, and you and I are distracted.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're distracted by phones, we're distracted by ads, we're distracted by whatever is coming our way, we're distracted by the news, we're distracted by all kinds of things.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes, I know you think you're a great multi-tasker.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know you think, I know you think that when you say one thing and you actually engage, in fact, try this the next time, maybe you're in the kitchen cooking and try to listen to what your kid has to say.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then sit down with them at the table after you finish cooking and repeat to them what they told you, I bet you you get it wrong.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because we've made ourselves believe that Mootide Tasking is a thing, but I would beg to differ.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mootide Tasking is not a thing.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, we are horrible at multitasking.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: As human beings, we have no clue what it means to multitask.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, can you stand on one foot in brush your teeth and you call that multitasking?
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, cool.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me talk about doing something with intent and something that has impact is difficult to juggle two things that hold the same level of importance at the same time and call yourself multitasking.
• 7:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can I drive and talk on the phone at the same time?
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't.
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why?
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, people get in accidents every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour because they thought they could text somebody back right quick while they're driving.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: How many people have, unfortunately, gotten into a pickle, could maybe an accident, maybe a fender bender.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, do you all recall this past summer, I am not a San Francisco 49ers fan at all, but I do respect and like the style of Kyle Shanahan.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's something about how he approaches the game.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's something about the fact that they look always are looking prepared, even though sometimes the stat sheet and the school board doesn't always show it.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: This summer, he was in a car wreck.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Google it.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what month it was.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was in a car wreck.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And reports were coming out, you know how reports are.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's no longer about getting it right.
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about being first.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, TMZ did their thing.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whoever else did their thing and put out their report or their synopsis of what happened and what took place.
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: One thing that struck me, which made me like Kyle Shanahan a bit more.
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: right because he approached the podium and he was asked about the car wreck and he was very open, honest and candid.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is funny because he really and he said it, I believe he said he wasn't using his phone but his phone dropped and he tried to get it.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's how important phones are to us now.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: He wasn't even on the phone, but he wanted to have access to the phone.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I guess I'm filling in the blanks now, just in case somebody called, just in case somebody sent a text, he wanted to have access to it and in fact, that it dropped on the floor and he reached forward as he's driving.
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's you know, we can't multitask.
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now try to communicate something to somebody while you're doing something else.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm not talking about the kind of communication that I find myself blessed to do on a regular basis on stages.
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm not talking about a crowd.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about in front of whomever.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying, try to remember the last time you were in a meaningful conversation with someone and something else called your attention.
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you decided to give some of your attention away to what calls you away from that conversation.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Tell me how they went for you.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can almost guarantee that the conversation that you were having not took a back seat, but there's some things that you probably missed that somebody had that person had to repeat why because something else got your attention.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: We just were able to launch a company called next mic.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And with next mic, we are trying to help people who want to speak to audiences find their next mic.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You like it, I love it, right?
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're trying to help them find their next mic, right?
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And as you see right now, if you watch this on video, there's a microphone in front of me.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: and you can't see behind the scenes but I'm in a room right now and there's only one other person here but I'm speaking into this microphone and looking at this camera listen fully aware of the the reality that more than one person will hear this message which didn't remind me of this reality that no matter who's in the room
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: No matter where the microphone is, the message may land or will land long after the microphone is switched to off.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's important that what it is that we share is wealth all out.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's intentional and we understand the impact that our words have on people.
• 11:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, as we, a lot for the last two years, a lot of our messaging was crafted around the phrase that hasn't gone anywhere where we go grow in Glow, you remember that.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the way that we came up with that phrase was it was so interesting because I was sitting on the couch one night and my wife shared with me that I was telling her about a speech
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why don't you make that into something, right?
• 12:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we started praying off to each church and then we started adding to it, go, boldly, grow, broadly, globally, right?
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: We wrote a book about that and that book is now in schools across the country.
• 12:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're proud of that.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I understood though, as they say, the assignment.
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: my team understood the assignment.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: We understood it for well that we had to be careful in our wording, in our messaging, so that that catch phrase, that signature tagline would land exactly where it was supposed to land.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you think about your everyday conversations.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the fact that no matter where you have conversations, you can be in a barbershop.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You got a microphone.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: It may not look like the one you hear me talking through right now.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you are, wherever you are, if you're at work, if you're on an assembly line, if you are driving the city bus wherever you are, you communicate with people in fact.
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Two days ago, I put together a YouTube short, right?
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it was just simply,
• 13:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: me talking about something that I think people do not give enough attention to and that's body language.
• 13:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You ever had somebody communicate something that was super duper deep and super duper important, but their body language threw you off.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: You ever had somebody maybe tell you something that was really weighty, something that was super really important, something that was super deep,
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: but you didn't receive it, the way that they intended because their body language was off.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You ever had a communication, had communication with your child or a loved one.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And because your body language was off, they may have received it in a way that you did not intend for it to land.
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: In this,
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: leg of our journey with regard to the Eugene Hamilton podcast.
• 14:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: We want to unpack a lot of stuff.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We want to unpack some things that may not be apparent to you.
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We want to unpack some things that may not seem of importance to you, but if you lean in,
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you understand the power of communication, you understand the power of your words, I promise you you'll receive a nugget or three.
• 14:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: They will help you understand.
• 14:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And help you pay closer attention to how you say what you say.
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I have recalled the first time I told my wife, I love you, right?
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think she believed what I said.
• 15:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think she didn't believe what I said because of how I said it and because of my posture.
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, people understand, in fact, check it out on on on on on on my shorts, I talked about the fact that your body language speaks louder in many cases in most cases than your words.
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: your body language is so important, your body language speaks before you say the first hello.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you think about your communication?
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whether you're communicating with your boss, whether you're communicating on a platform, whether you're sitting on a panel, whether you are having a solo presentation, whether
• 16:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know that oftentimes, I say all the time, it's important.
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Friends, as I had the opportunity to sit with some students just two weeks ago, I run these student-focused groups in a school district out here, I West, and part of the conversations with these student-focused groups is amplifying student voice, right?
• 16:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so instead of me just sitting there and sharing with them what's on my heart based on the reports I've received from their classroom teachers or administrators,
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I kinda open up and let them talk to me to tell me how things are going with them.
• 16:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Before I ever tell them that I've got the footage, not really, I haven't seen the video footage, but I've got the report on where they land or where they stand, right?
• 16:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I let them tell me some things.
• 16:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And oftentimes, especially in this one particular school community, the young people often talk about people that are teaching them that may be half a little bit of an accent, right?
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we're going to talk about how, you know, what I can't understand when he or she says, X, Y, and Z because they say it differently than, you know,
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: then we're used to hearing it, or they may pronounce it, they may not say tomato, maybe they say tomato, you know how people kind of zoom in on those particular nuances, maybe they say either, instead of either.
• 17:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And to talk about how, hey, listen,
• 17:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't understand, and that's just pronouncing or enunciating or pronouncing a word.
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're talking about even a more, in a grander way, they talk about how sometimes accents may impact how a message or some sort of lesson is related to them and they're unable to receive it because they can't understand or fully grasp what the teacher is saying.
• 18:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, in my notes, I'm recording this, not so much that a person can impact or a person can just turn off an accent, no, no, that's not the reason why I'm recording it, but I'm making notes that, hey, this young person says that he or she is unable to receive everything that's being delivered because there's a barrier there, are there other options?
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is there a way for us to get this transcribed?
• 18:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is there a way to get the gist of this thing in another format?
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe an email not to make them well work for the teacher, but you get what I'm saying.
• 18:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our goal is to have a message, whether it be in a classroom or otherwise, that lands in a way that the listener can pick up that message and do what the message intended for them to do.
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So watch your words, watch your tone, watch your body language and see how it impacts the people that you care about and the people that you're relaying your message no matter what format or what arena it's in.
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: see how it helps land that message in a way that they can receive it, they can appreciate it, and most importantly, they can move forward with the message the way that it intended and the way that it landed.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for your time and attention today, and again, I thank you for being patient with me.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will say this because I had a speaker colleague of mine who did it, he had a podcast that he launched.
• 19:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think he did about, I don't know, I want to say 60 or so episodes and he ended
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 20:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he was like, I, I, I, not so much.
• 20:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: He ran.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's a speaker.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he didn't run out of words.
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: But he was like, Hey, I, I did what I wanted to do.
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm worth a bunch of podcasts.
• 20:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I did 60 episodes, which is more than what I thought I was going to be able to do.
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me land it.
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me end it gracefully.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I thought about ending the podcast gracefully.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then I was convicted of kicking to another gear, all right?
• 20:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And my goal is to help us, no matter where our microphone is, to ensure that we're communicating and sharing in a way that people can receive it.
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Talk like you got something to say.
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, don't forget to share out this episode, don't forget to like, subscribe, do all those things.
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we can continue to grow, glow, and go.
• 20:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said they're backwards.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we can keep on going, growing and glowing.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, see you next time.
• 20:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take care, please.