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POWER COUPLES · Relationship Talk Thursday

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Speaker 1: It's Sonya Blakey.
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Speaker 2: It's February, the month of Love, and I wanted to
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Speaker 2: bring back relationship talk Thursday. Now.
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Speaker 1: You know, I've done this for many years with Pastor Fort.
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Speaker 2: We call him the Love Doctor, and we've also had
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Speaker 2: Love McPherson, but we switched it up a little bit.
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Speaker 2: And they are a power couple for real. They have
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Speaker 2: a book call actually Power Couples. And I'm excited about
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Speaker 2: this opportunity, excited about this moment. I believe the Lord
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Speaker 2: was speaking to me when I put the request out.
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Speaker 2: Pastor Jermone Glenn hey, hey, hey, and Pastor Erica Glenn Hello,
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Speaker 2: and they serve as executive pastors there at New Life
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Speaker 2: with Pastor Hannah. Yeah is that correct? And he's okay
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Speaker 2: with y'all doing this right?
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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, this is his prayer.
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Speaker 2: This used to be home for Pastor Hannah. So this
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Speaker 2: is excellent.
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Speaker 1: So tell us a little bit about you guys.
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Speaker 4: You've been married for this.
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Speaker 1: Will be your twentieth year.
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Speaker 2: Tell us a little bit about your relationship, the dynamic
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Speaker 2: of who you guys are.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, we celebrate twenty years this year in April. So excited.
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Speaker 5: We have three incredible children Josiah Money and Jonathan. We've
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Speaker 5: been senior pastors and leaders in the city of Grand
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Speaker 5: Rapids before we moved Chicago. I'm originally from Chicago. My
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Speaker 5: wife is originally from Grand She's a retired educator, principal teacher,
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Speaker 5: who's who of American teachers, Dune Cookman alumni, you know
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Speaker 5: all the things. She's incredible. Everything's better when she's around. Okay,
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Speaker 5: So yeah, we love marriages and believe part of our
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Speaker 5: mission is to you know, He'll restore celebrate black marriages. Yeah,
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Speaker 5: our marriages are under attack. Yes, but is God's original idea?
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Speaker 1: And you have children to a little bit about your faice.
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Speaker 6: Yes, So my oldest is twenty four. We are blended family.
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Speaker 6: So I didn't burn him, but he does have a
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Speaker 6: little stretch mark over here that is designated just for him.
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Speaker 6: Our daughter, Monette is a senior this year, so she
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Speaker 6: will be graduated from high school. And our baby Jonathan
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Speaker 6: is a freshman.
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Speaker 3: He's a freshman.
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Speaker 6: And our dog Royalty, she is nine years old.
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Speaker 4: Okay, believe me, I know dogs about the family.
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Speaker 1: We got to okay, oh my god, they're very much
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Speaker 1: a part of our family.
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Speaker 2: So how did you guys get into marriage ministry because
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Speaker 2: I think it's really unique. Everybody can't talk to to
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Speaker 2: couples and two singles.
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Speaker 6: So how did you all well get into this? So
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Speaker 6: I'll start off first. So when we first got together,
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Speaker 6: I don't think we thought about that this was what
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Speaker 6: we're going to be doing. But my husband always when
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Speaker 6: we were engaged, he was just always talking to me
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Speaker 6: about we have to protect our story, we have to
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Speaker 6: protect our story.
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Speaker 4: Because I was like, you know whatever.
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Speaker 6: I was like, let's just go to the fireplace, let's
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Speaker 6: get married, and let's just call it today. But he
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Speaker 6: was just very, very intentional about protecting our story. And
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Speaker 6: then we had a profit that came and let us
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Speaker 6: know that this is what we would be doing and
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Speaker 6: that we would speak to this generation.
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Speaker 5: So we kind of and we didn't choose that as
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Speaker 5: much as it chose us, you know, in our calling,
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Speaker 5: just to say yes, we have come out of broken families,
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Speaker 5: in the says that we both come out of divorce homes.
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Speaker 5: We decided that we didn't want that to be a
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Speaker 5: generational situation for us, very intent adamantly, as you heard,
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Speaker 5: we were bonus family. I did have my oldest son
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Speaker 5: in the context of marriage or marriage that did not work.
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Speaker 5: What I say, or consider to be my greatest failure
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Speaker 5: is that break up in that situation. But however, in
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Speaker 5: the recovery, I mean, in an amazing way, we all
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Speaker 5: get along, my ex wife, my wife, my son, like
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Speaker 5: it's really strange, but you know, it's great, and then
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Speaker 5: in that way, but I'm so glad that it's stayed
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Speaker 5: that way. And so in the process of that, we
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Speaker 5: learned a lot through mistakes, through failures, through ups and down.
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Speaker 5: We had some incredible marriage mentors. My wife's grandparents, Bishop
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Speaker 5: William c Abney and Lady Lobrain Abney was married forty
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Speaker 5: three years in ministry. We sat, we hung out with
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Speaker 5: as my wife said, hung out with the old people,
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Speaker 5: drowed them around, took them to lunch, took them to dinner, chauffeurs,
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Speaker 5: sat at their house, listened to them, learn from them.
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Speaker 5: Our current leaders, you know that Pastor and Hannah, they
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Speaker 5: all so have a great thirty two years of marriage.
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Speaker 5: Our pastors who live in Omaha, doctor Martin, and Pastor Lnell,
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Speaker 5: who's been a part of our lives for over a decade.
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Speaker 5: They have thirty plus years of marriage. So We've been
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Speaker 5: surrounded around that and so the manto, the mandate just
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Speaker 5: kind of fell on us in that regard. So we
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Speaker 5: really are advocates for marriage and for family, and people
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Speaker 5: make it harder than it has to be. So we
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Speaker 5: try to lend the wisdom that God has given us
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Speaker 5: through both our experiences, our mentors and counseling.
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Speaker 3: Couples to help people stay out the weeds.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, in the right place at the right time, Okay.
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Speaker 2: In his Relationship Talk Thursday, we are back with Pastor
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Speaker 2: Jermone Glenn and Pastor Erica Glenn, married for twenty years
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Speaker 2: this year. We're going to come back and talk about
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Speaker 2: their book, Power Couples. We're also going to welcome your calls,
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Speaker 2: you know, because I know a lot of you all
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Speaker 2: may have a question that you may have outside of
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Speaker 2: the topic, and we welcome those as well.
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Speaker 4: And they look so cute today, y'all. Yeah, y'all got
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Speaker 4: to see the video they get on.
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Speaker 1: They came in Magine with red hoodies on.
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Speaker 4: I'm like, this is low for real?
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Speaker 3: He did it to him, shout out to Bach. We
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Speaker 3: matchine the day.
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Speaker 2: All right, We're going to come back on this relationship
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Speaker 2: Talk Thursday, family.
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Speaker 1: It's so de Blakey.
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Speaker 2: I'm so happy Relationship Talk Thursday is back and they
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Speaker 2: are a power couple for real. This is not just
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Speaker 2: a book they wrote Power Couples. They are a power couple.
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Speaker 2: I'm here with Pastor Jermone Glenn and Pastor Erica Glenn
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Speaker 2: Douglenn's you know who are executive pastors there at New Life,
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Speaker 2: and they also are over the marriage ministry there at
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Speaker 2: New Life.
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Speaker 3: Correct, that's correct.
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Speaker 2: And so you have a book called Power Couples. Can
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Speaker 2: you tell us what this book is about? And it's
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Speaker 2: what we're going to talk about today.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: I think the idea centered around the book is, first
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Speaker 5: of all, everybody can be should be a power couple,
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Speaker 5: because it's not just the iconic people you think about
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Speaker 5: on TV or even just us, but every relationship has
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Speaker 5: the potential to be a power couple and to use
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Speaker 5: its power for the advancement of his family dynamic and
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Speaker 5: usually finding that power is in your differences, believe it
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Speaker 5: or not. So different says don't have to mean disconnection.
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Speaker 5: Actually it is the source and the strength of your power.
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Speaker 5: God created us in Genesis. May equal in dominion, equal
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Speaker 5: in authority, but we got different roles in different assignments,
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Speaker 5: and so usually they say opposites attracting the things that
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Speaker 5: you love, like or attracted about your partner is the
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Speaker 5: things that's different but yet instilled. When you get into
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Speaker 5: conflict or intention or growth point opportunities, differences end up
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Speaker 5: being disconnection. We don't want differences to be disconnection, but
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Speaker 5: we want you to learn how to use your differences
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Speaker 5: as your power.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's Erica.
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Speaker 2: What would you say, Well, how would you define a
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Speaker 2: power couple? Because that's that's that's a big word power.
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Speaker 2: How would you define that?
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Speaker 4: I guess I.
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Speaker 6: Would define it is that as a husband being just
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Speaker 6: knowing who you are and being all of that bring
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Speaker 6: that to the table. And then as a wife being
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Speaker 6: knowing all that you are and bringing that to the
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Speaker 6: table and not feeling that you have to downsize yourself
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Speaker 6: or make yourself small so that your partner can feel strong,
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Speaker 6: but just bringing all of your power in a sense,
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Speaker 6: all of your positive, all of your negative, and just like,
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Speaker 6: this is our marriage, and this is what we bring
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Speaker 6: to the table. Because opposites do a track, but people
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Speaker 6: fail to remember that the very thing that I love
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Speaker 6: about you could also be the thing that kind of
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Speaker 6: like hits me the wrong way, and instead of embracing that,
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Speaker 6: they just want to detach from it or make the
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Speaker 6: other person feel a certain kind of way.
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Speaker 4: About it that it disappears.
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Speaker 6: But if you let them be who they are, and
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Speaker 6: they're who they need to be, and you look at
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Speaker 6: that negative thing or whatever it's not rubbing you the
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Speaker 6: correct way as something that can actually strengthen you, sharpen you,
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Speaker 6: make you a better person. Then you look at it
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Speaker 6: differently and you, guys, you realize that we got power.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's use it. Yeah. It should not be.
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Speaker 5: A wife should not marry a man that becomes her
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Speaker 5: ceiling or rather her catalysts. So it has to be
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Speaker 5: comfortable in his identity and as strength and his skin,
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Speaker 5: so that when she to him, it's not her losing
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Speaker 5: herself and losing higher identity. Her submission should give strength
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Speaker 5: to you and strength to your union. So you want
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Speaker 5: to engage her strength as submission. So in her submission,
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Speaker 5: she she gets an advocate, she gets more strength or
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Speaker 5: more power as it relates. So he's not insecure in
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Speaker 5: her identity.
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Speaker 1: So you said the word submit, That word's a little
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Speaker 1: it's a cuss word, right, you said it right, past
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Speaker 1: area is a cuss word, you know in a church.
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Speaker 1: I'm thinking has been also misinterpreting.
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 1: So when you say submission, what do you what do you.
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Speaker 3: Mean by that? I mean submission in the sense of submission.
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Speaker 5: I think that it only becomes a cuss word because
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Speaker 5: most women feel like they lose their strength when they submit,
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Speaker 5: exactly when really they should gain strength by submission. It's
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Speaker 5: not that you can't, it's that you don't have to
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Speaker 5: now because you have given that leadership, that advantage to
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Speaker 5: someone else. My wife still know how to pump gas,
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Speaker 5: but she don't have to now. She still knows how
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Speaker 5: to pay bills she necessarily don't have to know. There's
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Speaker 5: things she still know how to do that in her submission,
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Speaker 5: she begins an advocate too. Right, it's in our own
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Speaker 5: relationship with God when we submit to him. It's not
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Speaker 5: that we lose ourselves if we find ourselves. So I
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Speaker 5: think ladies fight the word submission first of all because
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Speaker 5: they feel like they're losing themselves or submitting to someone
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Speaker 5: who is not going to cover them in the sense
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Speaker 5: of giving them strength back as it relates to that.
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Speaker 5: So submission is God's way. So it's not if you submit,
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Speaker 5: it's how you submit it who you submit to that
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Speaker 5: either gives you an advantage or makes you feel like
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Speaker 5: you're at a disciplined.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, because I feel like some women have that word
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Speaker 6: submission is difficult for them because they feel that the
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Speaker 6: person that they're submitting to is not the priest. He's
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Speaker 6: not the protector, he's not the provider. So somebody got
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Speaker 6: to be this in this relationship, and so how am
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Speaker 6: I going to submit to someone that's not doing those things?
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Speaker 6: So I think sometimes when submission is questioned in regards
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Speaker 6: to a woman, most of the time it has to
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Speaker 6: be looked back as the husband and the leader, and
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Speaker 6: what is he bringing to the table. He's stepping up
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Speaker 6: Because when a woman feels like all of that's taken
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Speaker 6: care of, I don't have no problem falling back. I
10:06
Speaker 6: don't have no problem falling back. If you're doing everything
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Speaker 6: and everything is being taken care of, I don't have
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Speaker 6: any problem.
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Speaker 4: I had no problem submitting to my husband.
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Speaker 1: I was just.
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Speaker 4: The only issues right.
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Speaker 6: The only issue that I had was because of my
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Speaker 6: independence and being raised by a single mother, I had
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Speaker 6: to change my paradigm. But it wasn't because I didn't
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Speaker 6: want to. It was because I wasn't raised.
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Speaker 4: To do that.
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Speaker 1: Wow.
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Speaker 5: But I think a lot of people have engaged in
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Speaker 5: relationships where they hadn't quite adequately counted up the costs
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Speaker 5: to say, hey, if I engage in this marriage, can
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Speaker 5: I submit? I don't just want your name and your advantages,
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Speaker 5: but what am I submitting to? If I'm giving If
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Speaker 5: I'm submitting my authority, my credit score.
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Speaker 3: My last name, my bloodline, my.
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Speaker 5: Individual traits, my social security, because that's all the things
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Speaker 5: that when you ask wanted to submit. A man doesn't
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Speaker 5: have to give over none of that when he gets
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Speaker 5: married and woman got to go downtown and change all
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Speaker 5: the paperwork. She has to submit that stuff. So if
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Speaker 5: I'm submitting, what am I submitting to? So don't get
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Speaker 5: in the marriage after you said you will, and then
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Speaker 5: you won't. If you will, then will, but before you will,
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Speaker 5: know what you will do and what you're doing before
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Speaker 5: you do it.
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Speaker 2: Wow, You'll need y'all need to counsel counsel couples before
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Speaker 2: they get married, because like, if you go into the marriage,
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Speaker 2: like I think things gonna be perfect, but.
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Speaker 5: You know to get into we do have conversations about
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Speaker 5: people that are seriously dating and help them understand. You know,
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Speaker 5: is this the next step you want to take? Because
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Speaker 5: healthy single people make healthy married people. Whole people make
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Speaker 5: a whole marriage. It's not two halves that make a
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Speaker 5: whole marriage. It's not you complete me. That sounds good
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Speaker 5: on a movie, but the idea is your whole. You're complete,
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Speaker 5: your whole, you complete too.
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Speaker 3: Whole.
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Speaker 5: Complete people individual know who they are with that purpose,
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Speaker 5: what that passion is, get to together and then they
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Speaker 5: make this is good.
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Speaker 3: That's how you make it back.
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Speaker 2: It's relationship Talk Thursday with the Glenns Pastor Jimon Glenn,
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Speaker 2: pastor Erica Glenn. We're talking about power couples and we
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Speaker 2: got some questions coming through. Somebody wanted to know about
12:11
Speaker 2: finding common ground pools.
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Speaker 1: Did you have a question for the team.
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Speaker 3: My name is James, Thanks so much for having me on.
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Speaker 3: I had a quick question.
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Speaker 2: I had a question about challenges on finding common ground.
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Speaker 3: How do you do that?
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Speaker 5: I think that that's a great question. I think my
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Speaker 5: wife stated earlier that it's important to know what you
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Speaker 5: bring to the table, right, so everybody bring who they
12:36
Speaker 5: are to the table. All of who they are to
12:38
Speaker 5: the table, and then if you as simply as write
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Speaker 5: it down on a piece of paper and then find
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Speaker 5: where you have matches. These are our strengths, This is
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Speaker 5: what we both frailed, This is what we both want,
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Speaker 5: this is what we both believe. We just walked the
12:50
Speaker 5: couple through this exercise in a conversation we were having
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Speaker 5: where we asked them to write down what they want
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Speaker 5: from their marriage and what they were also willing to bring,
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Speaker 5: but don't share it with each other. Bring it to
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Speaker 5: the conversation wow, then read it out loud to each
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Speaker 5: other in the presence of all of us. When they
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Speaker 5: did that, they found out that they had more things
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Speaker 5: in common that they wanted than they had. Then they
13:14
Speaker 5: were able to hear from themselves that they really were
13:17
Speaker 5: on separate pages as they thought they were. They both
13:21
Speaker 5: were after the same things, and once they were able
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Speaker 5: to see it and hear it, then they can start
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Speaker 5: working towards.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, because I think that exercise is powerful to be
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Speaker 6: separated because as a couple, you're just you know, you're
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Speaker 6: always doing everything together, and I think we failed to
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Speaker 6: realize that. As a quote unquote individual, I am attracted
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Speaker 6: to this person because of what they bring to the table.
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Speaker 6: But differences and insecurities and you know, being offended causes
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Speaker 6: everything to be foggy versus showing you how things are common.
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Speaker 6: So that exercise is very very good to do.
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Speaker 1: I love that. Thank you so much for all that
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Speaker 1: answer your question.
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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, definitely, thank you so much.
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Speaker 1: All right, thank you family.
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Speaker 2: It's a great day talking with the pastor Jermone Glenn
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Speaker 2: and Pastor Erica Glenn. They are my relationship couple on
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Speaker 2: this relationship talk Thursday.
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Speaker 1: I think this is going to be a long lasted relationship.
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Speaker 1: I think something is happening in this room.
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Speaker 2: And we're talking about their book Power Couples, and we
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Speaker 2: were talking about submission earlier. You guys can go back
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Speaker 2: to our Facebook page or Instagram page, whatever and see
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Speaker 2: what that was all about. But I was saying to Pat,
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Speaker 2: to Pastor Glenn's, to Pastor Jermon and Pastor Erica, that
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Speaker 2: I wish that a lot of people were able to
14:35
Speaker 2: sit in the room with you to talk about the
14:37
Speaker 2: concept of marriage what it takes, because you could probably
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Speaker 2: save a lot of marriages and people who had better
14:42
Speaker 2: understand what it means to submit, what it means to
14:44
Speaker 2: be a power couple and you wanted to pick up
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Speaker 2: from their pastor Jamon, Yeah.
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Speaker 3: It's so good.
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Speaker 5: It's like one of the things that we always consider
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Speaker 5: is that people are attracted to or they date vision,
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Speaker 5: but they marry values. Right, So they think they're dating vision,
14:58
Speaker 5: but they're really they think they're marrying vision, but they're
15:01
Speaker 5: really dating vision and dating values. Because when you're in
15:04
Speaker 5: the dating phase and you sit down and say, well,
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Speaker 5: what do you want to do, well, everybody can pay
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Speaker 5: the big picture. I want to go here, I want
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Speaker 5: to do this. I see ourselves. I see, I see,
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Speaker 5: I see. But if you lean into that person that
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Speaker 5: you're talking to while they're painting this broad stroke picture
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Speaker 5: of vision and see how they behave in the value
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Speaker 5: system and their value structures. Do they manage money, do
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Speaker 5: they value it? Do they manage time? Do they keep
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Speaker 5: they word or their person of integrity? You'll see character
15:28
Speaker 5: traits that will let you know if those value systems
15:31
Speaker 5: are in place, that will end up inevitably bringing you
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Speaker 5: into the place of vision. And so while you may
15:37
Speaker 5: be attracted to someone's vision, don't marry their vision, marry
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Speaker 5: their values and make sure that you have similar values,
15:45
Speaker 5: because if you have similar values, then all the conflict
15:48
Speaker 5: or detention points in a marriage come around values. They
15:51
Speaker 5: always late, they don't pay bills on time. It's value stuff,
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Speaker 5: it's not vision stuff. So the tension is in the values.
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Speaker 5: And so women often have a struggle point of submission
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Speaker 5: because when they run into the dream that you sold
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Speaker 5: me in vision, it's not lining up, bruh, with the.
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Speaker 3: Values that you have.
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Speaker 5: And so my wife's struggle was never in her desire
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Speaker 5: to necessarily submit, to submit early on, was because we
16:17
Speaker 5: had similar values.
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Speaker 3: Our purpose match talk about.
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Speaker 6: That baby, yes, So it was interesting when I met him.
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Speaker 6: I'd known him since we had known each other since
16:26
Speaker 6: we're teenagers. But I was at his apartment and he
16:29
Speaker 6: was in his office or whatever, you know, so you dating.
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Speaker 6: So I was like, you know, behind him, you know,
16:35
Speaker 6: looking around, being nosy, trying to figure out what I
16:37
Speaker 6: need to know. And I saw on his computer he
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Speaker 6: had like a five year vision and a ten year
16:44
Speaker 6: vision and a three year vision. And then I started
16:46
Speaker 6: looking at the things that he had bullet points by,
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Speaker 6: and I was like, I thought I was the only
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Speaker 6: weird person who thought like this, or I thought that
16:53
Speaker 6: you know, I didn't think anybody would want a family
16:55
Speaker 6: meeting and all this other kind of stuff.
16:56
Speaker 4: And I felt like I.
16:58
Speaker 6: Was in his goals and his vision because they were mine.
17:03
Speaker 6: So I was not trading my vision or my goals
17:06
Speaker 6: to be with someone. I was really bringing whatever I
17:10
Speaker 6: was to the table. He was bringing whoever he was
17:13
Speaker 6: to the table, and we weren't losing anything because we
17:15
Speaker 6: wanted the same thing. So it was like all of
17:18
Speaker 6: the other people that I had dated, I didn't necessarily
17:21
Speaker 6: see they have vision, but their values didn't match what
17:24
Speaker 6: they said that they wanted in their life.
17:26
Speaker 4: And I could see this man.
17:28
Speaker 6: Wanted these things, and these are the exact same things
17:31
Speaker 6: that I wanted. And I'm like, oh, I could if
17:34
Speaker 6: this happened, I could do this. I could lay back
17:37
Speaker 6: because I know he's going to make certain things happen.
17:40
Speaker 6: And you know, when we were with my grandparents, you know,
17:44
Speaker 6: they had been married over fifty years, and my grandfather
17:47
Speaker 6: and my grandmother would always talk about how Sarah called
17:50
Speaker 6: Abraham lord little lord lord, and my grandmother, my grandmother
17:55
Speaker 6: looked me straight in my face and she said, if
17:56
Speaker 6: you cannot call him little lord, don't marry him. She said,
18:00
Speaker 6: because you will emasculate him, and every single opportunity it
18:04
Speaker 6: is for him to stand up and be a leader.
18:06
Speaker 6: He will not be the leader because in your head
18:09
Speaker 6: he's not Lord, not Lord Lord.
18:15
Speaker 3: That's Bible.
18:16
Speaker 5: The Bible say submit to your husband as unto the Lord's.
18:20
Speaker 3: What is exactly what it says.
18:22
Speaker 5: And I think a lot of ladies enter into a
18:25
Speaker 5: relationship without the consideration that could he be my little lord?
18:29
Speaker 3: Could he be?
18:29
Speaker 5: Could I follow him in that same manner? And I
18:32
Speaker 5: think a lot of husbands enter into a relationship without
18:35
Speaker 5: feeling the weight and the responsibility of God is seeing
18:39
Speaker 5: you in this seat as a.
18:40
Speaker 3: Representation of Him.
18:42
Speaker 5: It's not a tip for tat, not an if she
18:43
Speaker 5: does and if I do, and I'll get what I get.
18:46
Speaker 5: But you have your separate responsibility as into God to
18:49
Speaker 5: treat your wife and let your wife feel the affirmation
18:52
Speaker 5: and the revelation of your love. And when she feels
18:55
Speaker 5: your love, she should feel like God is loving her.
18:57
Speaker 5: And in the same sense as a wife that when
19:00
Speaker 5: you're submitted to this man, can you see him in
19:03
Speaker 5: the identity that God put him? And when you function
19:05
Speaker 5: in those matters the way He created because it's God's idea.
19:08
Speaker 5: Everybody want to redefine God's idea. You can't redefine God's
19:11
Speaker 5: idea of merit. You just can try to live up
19:14
Speaker 5: to it and understand it. And when you get engaged
19:16
Speaker 5: in that matter, then you you unlock your power, the
19:19
Speaker 5: power and the potential of your purpose of who God
19:21
Speaker 5: created you to be. So value is really the area
19:24
Speaker 5: that we got to lean into. More less vision, more value. Yes,
19:28
Speaker 5: where we're going, but how are we going to get there?
19:31
Speaker 5: Because the tension is not in the vision. The tension
19:34
Speaker 5: is in the value.
19:35
Speaker 3: I like that.
19:35
Speaker 2: No, So okay, so we don't have You can touch
19:37
Speaker 2: on this when we get back. So is that what
19:39
Speaker 2: dating is all about? Where you kind of investigating, you're inspecting,
19:43
Speaker 2: and you know what I'm saying, You try to figure
19:45
Speaker 2: out just what you find out the value?
19:48
Speaker 4: This was what was supposed to happen when you're dating.
19:49
Speaker 3: So my wife, I'm gonna let her chuck.
19:51
Speaker 5: She cleared her throat because this is her area, because
19:53
Speaker 5: she has to chime in on this. Because I wasn't
19:55
Speaker 5: a dater, right, So I got when I got saved,
19:58
Speaker 5: I didn't date. I wasn't in a pos i wasn't
19:59
Speaker 5: day and girls, I couldn't do it. I had to,
20:02
Speaker 5: you know, come to a strict side of my faith
20:04
Speaker 5: so that I.
20:05
Speaker 3: Didn't know how to intertwin.
20:06
Speaker 5: So even in our relationship where she said we was
20:09
Speaker 5: dating or whatever, it's a dig towards me because I
20:11
Speaker 5: told her we never dated, we were courting. Because I
20:13
Speaker 5: always engaged her with the intent to be my wife period.
20:18
Speaker 5: I only saw her that way. I had no energy
20:21
Speaker 5: around investigating beyond that. My wife is the one that
20:24
Speaker 5: educated me on what a working definition of dating is
20:28
Speaker 5: that I could agree with, and you summed it up.
20:30
Speaker 1: We can we can We just pause that right there.
20:32
Speaker 1: We're gonna come back again.
20:34
Speaker 4: We're gonna put the people.
20:35
Speaker 2: On the anthony s like, okay, what is Pastora say?
20:37
Speaker 1: We gonna come back.
20:38
Speaker 2: Relationship Talk Thursday Here with Pastor Jamon Glenn and Pastor
20:42
Speaker 2: Erica Glenn thirteen ninety in his Relationship Talk Thursday, I'm
20:46
Speaker 2: Sonia here with Pastor Jamon Glenn and his lovely wife,
20:50
Speaker 2: Pastor Erica Glenn, and we're talking about Power Couples, the
20:53
Speaker 2: book Power Couples, and we touched on dating just a
20:57
Speaker 2: little bit earlier. Pastor Erica you have a definition for
21:00
Speaker 2: dating versus.
21:01
Speaker 6: According it is truly gathering information, and it's more information,
21:06
Speaker 6: and it's more than just what is your favorite color.
21:09
Speaker 6: It's more than what's your favorite restaurant?
21:12
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
21:12
Speaker 6: Like that when they had that whole thing about ain't
21:14
Speaker 6: nobody gonna take me to Chili's, our first day was
21:16
Speaker 6: at chili you know what I'm saying, because it was
21:19
Speaker 6: like we understood that in order for me to know
21:22
Speaker 6: what I'm in order for me to date you, I
21:25
Speaker 6: have to know you and I have to see you
21:27
Speaker 6: in different spaces and places. So for thirty days, we
21:32
Speaker 6: saw each other every single day, really, so every single day.
21:37
Speaker 6: As a woman, You're going to see my emotions. You're
21:41
Speaker 6: gonna see when I'm on my cycle, how I You're
21:43
Speaker 6: gonna see if I get angry. I want to see
21:46
Speaker 6: every emotion that's inside of you because I need to
21:49
Speaker 6: know who you really are and can I deal with
21:52
Speaker 6: that and the consistency of it all. So exactly one weekend,
21:57
Speaker 6: these online long distance relationsation ships gotta lean in, gotta
22:01
Speaker 6: lean into the heavy things, and you gotta you gotta
22:05
Speaker 6: you want that person to get mad, You want that
22:07
Speaker 6: person to be angry because you want to see how
22:09
Speaker 6: they handle different.
22:11
Speaker 4: Things in all the seasons.
22:12
Speaker 3: Yeah.
22:12
Speaker 6: Yeah, So for me, dating was getting data, and you know.
22:17
Speaker 5: We translated that into the context of our marriage. We
22:20
Speaker 5: have marriage Mondays. It's a whole podcast out there about it.
22:24
Speaker 5: It's called marriage Monday. It's a thing we do. We
22:27
Speaker 5: date every May, every Monday. I'm not really a Friday
22:29
Speaker 5: go out date there. Sundays is the weekend for me.
22:31
Speaker 5: I'm tired of Saturday. I'm not hanging out Sunday. We
22:33
Speaker 5: got church all day. But Monday is the down date.
22:36
Speaker 5: Monday is the day that we carverside in our marriage
22:40
Speaker 5: to date. Every single Monday. We go, we do something,
22:44
Speaker 5: we eat, we talk, we discussed, we have a conversation around.
22:49
Speaker 3: We have morning worship hallelujah, uh.
22:54
Speaker 5: Exactly, we have we have We have intentional engaged time
23:00
Speaker 5: collected around dating. Our children know, our friends, know our
23:03
Speaker 5: family know. Our phone rarely rings on a Monday. People
23:07
Speaker 5: very come barely intrude into our lives because it is
23:10
Speaker 5: a sanctified, segregated time where we continue into dating even
23:14
Speaker 5: in our marriage, because there's still things I need to know.
23:17
Speaker 5: In her definition of collecting, data. There's still seasons. Who
23:21
Speaker 5: she is now is not who she was. What she
23:23
Speaker 5: wanted then is not what she want now. What I
23:25
Speaker 5: wanted then is not what I want now. She's evolving,
23:28
Speaker 5: I'm evolving. Who are you today? What do you desire
23:30
Speaker 5: this week? What do you want in this season? I'm
23:32
Speaker 5: dating you. I'm not going to do it to get you,
23:34
Speaker 5: and then once I got you and don't put an
23:37
Speaker 5: investment into so I block it. On the calendar. I'm
23:39
Speaker 5: a person of time. I'm a personal calendar. Meet is
23:42
Speaker 5: our important a schedule that I put on my calendar,
23:44
Speaker 5: My day, my marriage, Monday is on my calendar because
23:46
Speaker 5: it is a high, high priority for me. We have
23:49
Speaker 5: family days, that is our Wednesday is our family day
23:52
Speaker 5: where we have intention. We sit around the table, eat
23:55
Speaker 5: dinner on Wednesdays and on Sundays. Today we can't do
23:57
Speaker 5: it all the time, but on Wednesdays, my family know
24:00
Speaker 5: we're eating dinner together on Sundays after church. This is
24:04
Speaker 5: a lot of structure because it's the same things. Well,
24:06
Speaker 5: because because whatever is the same things, that.
24:09
Speaker 6: The same thing that I saw on his paper, it's
24:11
Speaker 6: the same thing that's happening in our lives now.
24:14
Speaker 5: But if you don't make your priorities and create them,
24:16
Speaker 5: people will create them for you, and then your marriage
24:18
Speaker 5: will become secondary, and then you wonder why it's not flourishing.
24:22
Speaker 5: It has no power because you haven't made it a priority.
24:25
Speaker 5: Anything that's important, you have to make it a priority.
24:27
Speaker 5: If you don't protect it as a priority, people will
24:30
Speaker 5: chew up your time. They'll tell you, Oh, you don't
24:32
Speaker 5: have nothing to do on Monday, I got you.
24:34
Speaker 3: Do this, do this.
24:34
Speaker 5: You don't have none to do. On Wednesday, come here,
24:36
Speaker 5: you don't have anything to do. On Sunday, Come eat
24:38
Speaker 5: with us, Come eat with us. But our our times
24:41
Speaker 5: that we protect our sacred around what our priorities are
24:44
Speaker 5: because we're intentionally building a family. My wife always say,
24:47
Speaker 5: this is our children's only childhood. Let's make it a
24:50
Speaker 5: good one. Let's try to minimize Yeah, we had ours.
24:53
Speaker 5: Let's try to minimize the trauma that they're going to
24:55
Speaker 5: have to deal Let's try to minimize the healing they're
24:57
Speaker 5: going to have to deal with.
24:58
Speaker 3: We're responsible for career in.
25:00
Speaker 5: That framework, and so we date, even in our marriage
25:03
Speaker 5: and even with our family, our children, our family, we
25:07
Speaker 5: intentionally involve them into the process.
25:10
Speaker 6: And I think people have to also realize that whatever
25:12
Speaker 6: you feed gets larger. So it's like, if you feed
25:16
Speaker 6: your marriage, it's going to get stronger if you if
25:19
Speaker 6: you if you don't feed it, it's going to get weaker.
25:21
Speaker 6: If you feed your children, your relationship with your children
25:25
Speaker 6: is going to get stronger. So whatever you want to
25:27
Speaker 6: see increased, you need to feed it. And whatever you
25:30
Speaker 6: want to see not increase, stop feeding it. Like you
25:33
Speaker 6: know you you you single, you're trying to be celebate, Well,
25:38
Speaker 6: stop feeding you, stop feeding sex, stop stop sleeping, stop
25:41
Speaker 6: sleeping around, stop stop feeding it.
25:44
Speaker 1: Right, all right, there's a whole another segment right there.
25:47
Speaker 3: Well, well, but it's the same segment.
25:49
Speaker 5: Because broken single people create broken marriages. Healed single people
25:56
Speaker 5: create heal healthy marriages. So it does. The work in
26:00
Speaker 5: marriage doesn't begin when you get married. The work in
26:03
Speaker 5: marriage begins while you are single. You increase your value
26:06
Speaker 5: while you're single, and whole, whole plus whole equal hole,
26:10
Speaker 5: two whole people come together, make a whole person and
26:13
Speaker 5: make a whole marriage.
26:15
Speaker 3: That's how power is happening.
26:17
Speaker 2: All right, Yeah, this has been a great first show
26:19
Speaker 2: with y'all. We can keep on talking, but we're gonna
26:24
Speaker 2: have to. We're gonna come back next Thursday. This is
26:26
Speaker 2: not over, y'all. Relationship Talk Thursday is happening with the
26:30
Speaker 2: pastor Jermoon Glenn and Pastor Erica Glenn. Now, if folks
26:33
Speaker 2: want to get your book, orf, they want to follow out,
26:35
Speaker 2: you know, follow up with you guys about this conversation.
26:37
Speaker 4: What's the best way to do that.
26:38
Speaker 3: It's all on my website. J E R m o
26:40
Speaker 3: n E.
26:40
Speaker 5: Yourmone not Jerome Jermome Glenn j R m o n
26:44
Speaker 5: E Glenn at dot com. All the website, the shirts
26:48
Speaker 5: we got on everything, it's all there.
26:50
Speaker 3: We wrote.
26:50
Speaker 5: I've been able to write over twenty books. Four of
26:52
Speaker 5: them I wrote with my wife, their relationship books. Power
26:55
Speaker 5: Couples is the latest one. We're about to take it
26:57
Speaker 5: on a little mini tour and in certain cities, and
27:01
Speaker 5: so it's good to share it with you. Use your strengths,
27:04
Speaker 5: use your differences, not as disconnection, but use it as
27:07
Speaker 5: a power. And that new life on the fourth, the
27:10
Speaker 5: fourth weekend in February, actually we got a marriage thing
27:13
Speaker 5: that's happening in that new life. Everybody's invited. We're gonna
27:15
Speaker 5: sit and do a talk around power couples. So you
27:18
Speaker 5: can come to it and join us. It's going to
27:19
Speaker 5: be a good night of fellowship. Marriage Monday podcast is
27:22
Speaker 5: on all your podcast platforms. So we're out here trying
27:26
Speaker 5: to make sure that people have the proper information and
27:29
Speaker 5: impartation to have successful families, a successful marriage.
27:32
Speaker 1: That's Erica, you got the last words.
27:33
Speaker 4: What do you want to say? Thank you?
27:36
Speaker 6: I want to say thank you, thank you for your vision,
27:38
Speaker 6: thank you for having a heart for marriages. And I
27:42
Speaker 6: mean it is truly our passion and our we believe
27:45
Speaker 6: it is our ministry. And I'm just grateful to just
27:49
Speaker 6: I'm humble to be able to be used by God
27:52
Speaker 6: for that. And we believe in marriage. And the enemy
27:55
Speaker 6: is coming after marriage like severely. And you got if
28:00
Speaker 6: you're on the brink of divorce it don't do it
28:04
Speaker 6: like get to get to counsel with somebody. It is
28:07
Speaker 6: not as bad as you think it is. We have
28:09
Speaker 6: seen some just some rough situations. And how when people
28:12
Speaker 6: make a decision that we're going to be married, and
28:15
Speaker 6: they are married and they want to stay married and
28:18
Speaker 6: they want the best of their marriage, then that's when
28:21
Speaker 6: you see such a great thing happen a miracle happened
28:25
Speaker 6: in their marriage because most of us.
28:27
Speaker 4: Don't know how to be married.
28:28
Speaker 6: And once you admit that you don't know how to
28:30
Speaker 6: be married, the information and the knowledge is gonna come.
28:33
Speaker 6: But you have to first say I don't know what
28:36
Speaker 6: I'm doing, and it's okay to say I don't know
28:38
Speaker 6: what I'm doing, and then you'll get the information and
28:40
Speaker 6: then you'll be able to break generational curses and your
28:43
Speaker 6: children will definitely have a foundation that is necessary for
28:48
Speaker 6: them to be who they are called to be.
28:50
Speaker 3: Ok.
28:50
Speaker 4: Thank you all so much.
28:51
Speaker 1: The Glenns