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The Power of Self-Confidence: Unlock Your True Potential with This Speech · Motivation Mindset Podcast

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  Speaker 1: When you're getting ready in the morning and you're exercising,
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  Speaker 1: or when you just need a little boost, download Mindset
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  Speaker 1: and listen to your favorite motivational speeches well getting ready
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  Speaker 1: for the day.
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  Speaker 2: Your confidence isn't your beauty or your ability, it's your intent.
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  Speaker 2: That's one thing I know to be true about me.
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  Speaker 2: I don't always believe in my ability or my talent
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  Speaker 2: that's fleeting or what happens when a speech goes bad,
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  Speaker 2: or a meeting goes bad, or a company goes bad.
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  Speaker 2: I don't want to predicate my confidence on that. I
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  Speaker 2: predicate it on my intentions. Now, remind myself because I
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  Speaker 2: actually believe I'm a good person, and I don't think
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  Speaker 2: enough people give themselves credit for being good and kind,
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  Speaker 2: and that they give people grace and they want to
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  Speaker 2: contribute and help.
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  Speaker 3: You should generate so much confidence from that intent.
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  Speaker 2: To serve that you ought to walk into a room
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  Speaker 2: and own it, not because you're arrogant, because your intentions
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  Speaker 2: are so good. It's a hack to confidence. Nobody talks
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  Speaker 2: about is intention. You validate your intention with your action.
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  Speaker 2: I'll give you an example. One of the things right
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  Speaker 2: now that I'm really working on in my life and
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  Speaker 2: it's not easy for me because I've lived another way.
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  Speaker 2: And one of the things that I've lived with a
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  Speaker 2: lot in my life is I think I have judged
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  Speaker 2: people too much and not extended enough grace. But the
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  Speaker 2: last ten years of my life, man, I'm really proud
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  Speaker 2: of myself. I've extended grace to people. I feel better
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  Speaker 2: about me when I extend grace to another person, particularly
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  Speaker 2: maybe when they don't deserve it in the moment. You
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  Speaker 2: never know what someone's carrying. You don't know the burden
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  Speaker 2: they're carrying. It hurt people, hurt people. People in pain
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  Speaker 2: typically will create pain for other people. Greatness is walking
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  Speaker 2: into room and shifting the energy, and the way that
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  Speaker 2: you do it is to me, it's just really speaking
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  Speaker 2: truth to people and sometimes in a kind way, speaking
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  Speaker 2: truth to them about their behavior and their conduct and
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  Speaker 2: letting them know that you're better than this. You are
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  Speaker 2: better than the way you're conducting yourself. You're better than this.
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  Speaker 2: Truth I think vibrates at the highest frequency, But when
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  Speaker 2: you don't address someone's behavior that's toxic towards you, you're
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  Speaker 2: not operating in truth. What happens is you reduce your
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  Speaker 2: own vibrational frequency. And they can get worse. So the
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  Speaker 2: way you rise above and shift the energy in the
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  Speaker 2: room is actually by operating in truth with somebody. I
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  Speaker 2: love you, I believe in you, and that's why I'm
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  Speaker 2: going to tell you the truth. This thing you're doing
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  Speaker 2: right now, this way you're handling yourself is so much
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  Speaker 2: so beneath who you really are, Your cable of so
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  Speaker 2: much greater. If you sown enough seeds into someone, they
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  Speaker 2: know your intention. I think you can challenge people. I
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  Speaker 2: think great people are good at challenging other people. And
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  Speaker 2: then if you operate in truth, man, your frequency is
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  Speaker 2: vibrating real high, you can shift an environment and shift
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  Speaker 2: the energy. I think a lot of people feel inadequate
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  Speaker 2: about that, like I'm not qualified, there's nothing great about me,
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  Speaker 2: like I'm not achieved something or or. The other thing
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  Speaker 2: they do is they hold their sins or mistakes of
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  Speaker 2: their life as like weapons against themselves. You don't know
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  Speaker 2: about my divorce. You don't know that I did this
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  Speaker 2: thing I'm not proud of. You don't know how this
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  Speaker 2: business failure or I didn't I you know, I've gained
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  Speaker 2: some weight and so I made a commitment to get fit,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm not anymore. I'm not qualified to shift the
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  Speaker 2: energy or change other people. When my dad got sober,
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  Speaker 2: it changed our entire family's life. And after I wrote
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  Speaker 2: my book and after my dad passed away, I woke
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  Speaker 2: up one night it was like three AM, and I
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  Speaker 2: was crying and kind of startled my wife, and she's like,
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  Speaker 2: what's going on, babe? I said, Babe, I just realized
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  Speaker 2: something here. I am fifty two years old. My dad
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  Speaker 2: had been sober for thirty five years. That's never dawned
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  Speaker 2: on me. I went, someone helped my dad. She goes, what, honey.
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  Speaker 3: I said, someone helped dad, and that person changed my
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  Speaker 3: entire life.
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  Speaker 4: Like that act of helping one person, the ripple effect
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  Speaker 4: is I'm his son, and I've been blessed to reach
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  Speaker 4: millions of people around the world. That person doesn't know
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  Speaker 4: that helping my dad changed millions of lives. And she goes, my, gosh,
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  Speaker 4: that's incredible. I said, that's not the most incredible thing.
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  Speaker 2: The most incredible thing is what qualified that man to
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  Speaker 2: help my dad, who I didn't know who he was
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  Speaker 2: at the time. And she says, I don't know. I said, not,
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  Speaker 2: how stupendous? Not his amazing achievements.
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  Speaker 4: What qualified him to help my dad was that he
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  Speaker 4: was also on alcoholic at one time, he was a
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  Speaker 4: drug addict.
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  Speaker 2: He lied, he lived in the shadows in life.
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  Speaker 3: It's not that you're better than these people.
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  Speaker 2: It's that you can help people that used to be
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  Speaker 2: like you, that you used to operate in a way
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  Speaker 2: that didn't serve you. Maybe you behaved in a way
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  Speaker 2: that wasn't conducive with your character. Because of that, you're
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  Speaker 2: qualified to help people that are operating that way. So
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  Speaker 2: you're immensely qualified in life to shift other people. If
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  Speaker 2: you're willing to be vulnerable and reveal you're imperfect, you
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  Speaker 2: don't connect with anybody be going I'm amazing. That's not
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  Speaker 2: the truth that you're revealing your imperfections that connects you
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  Speaker 2: with people. You were born to do something great with
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  Speaker 2: your life, and when you were a little boy or
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  Speaker 2: a little girl, there was probably one person who made
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  Speaker 2: you feel that way, and you ought to give yourself
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  Speaker 2: the gifts right now of who is that person when
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  Speaker 2: you're a little girl or a little boy that made
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  Speaker 2: you feel special. There's probably only one, maybe too, maybe
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  Speaker 2: it was your parents, or your grandmother or grandfather, A
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  Speaker 2: coach and a religious figure.
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  Speaker 4: There's someone that was in your life and you felt
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  Speaker 4: something about you because of the way they looked at
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  Speaker 4: you or spoke to you.
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  Speaker 2: And the amazing thing about that is they were right.
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  Speaker 2: Honor them with who you become. Honor them with the
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  Speaker 2: life you build. Honor them with the choices you make,
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  Speaker 2: and take that belief and use it as fuel in
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  Speaker 2: your life to have some strength and confidence to shift
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  Speaker 2: other people's lives. Your identity your personal belief in yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Your identity is like the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts you
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  Speaker 2: hold to be most true about you. You've developed a
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  Speaker 2: false belief system in yourself of what you need to
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  Speaker 2: know to take action. And so successful people are willing
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  Speaker 2: to step into the unknown and the unprepared more than
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  Speaker 2: people who are unsuccessful. So procrastination is really saying, I
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  Speaker 2: got to know a little more, I got to prepare
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  Speaker 2: a little bit more. I gotta get little bit more ready,
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  Speaker 2: a little bit more ready, a little bit more ready.
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  Speaker 2: And you keep raising the readiness quota to a point
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  Speaker 2: where you never take action. And so you got to
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  Speaker 2: get to this point where you're like, I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: get into the room, I'm going to start to write
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  Speaker 2: that paper. I'm going to start the book. I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to get into that.
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  Speaker 3: And I'll figure it out when I get there.
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  Speaker 2: And most people that are successful have this internal belief
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  Speaker 2: system that I don't need to know everything to take action, and.
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  Speaker 3: I just need to know enough to get in the
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  Speaker 3: room and I'll figure it.
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  Speaker 2: Out from there. And there's really three things. Whether you
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  Speaker 2: believe in whatever your spiritual beliefs are. But if I
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  Speaker 2: was the adversary or the devil, what would I do
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  Speaker 2: to try to get you off track? There's really three things.
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  Speaker 2: The first thing I would do is I get you
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  Speaker 2: to doubt three d's. I'll get you to doubt. The
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  Speaker 2: second thing is I'll get them discouraged. I'll have a
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  Speaker 2: real critic, I'll have some hits, have a miss or
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  Speaker 2: two swinging a miss. And the third thing, if I
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  Speaker 2: can't do that, or i'll do both, I'll get them
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  Speaker 2: a bit delusional. Delusion is believing something's worse than it
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  Speaker 2: is or better than it is. And I get you
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  Speaker 2: magnifying something to believe that it's a far bigger problem
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  Speaker 2: than it is, far more dramatic than it is. And
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  Speaker 2: so those are the three d's and so it's doubt, discouragement,
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  Speaker 2: and delusion. And what I try to do is when
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  Speaker 2: I see them showing up, I go, I know exactly
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  Speaker 2: what this is. This is the negative coming to get me.
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  Speaker 2: This is trying to get me off course and my
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  Speaker 2: dreams and my vision and my contribution. And I am
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  Speaker 2: not going to let other people be cheated because I
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  Speaker 2: doubt and I'm discouraged and I'm delusional. And so I
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  Speaker 2: really focus when those things come up, and I identify
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  Speaker 2: them when they're there, and I root them out because
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  Speaker 2: I know where they're coming from, and they're not coming
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  Speaker 2: from good, They're not coming from God, they're not coming
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  Speaker 2: from high vibrational frequency. They're coming from the worst of
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  Speaker 2: the worst. And so I absolutely rid them out when
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  Speaker 2: they show up. Someone's really successful, what are you working
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  Speaker 2: on them? They usually their identity or their confidence, usually
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  Speaker 2: those two things. And their identity is the more important
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  Speaker 2: thing now all The other thing that happens is for
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  Speaker 2: a lot of people with their identity is they'll attach
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  Speaker 2: their identity to the external, to their beauty, to their performance,
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  Speaker 2: to their career, and then when they lose that career
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  Speaker 2: or they lose that NFL football career they've got, then
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  Speaker 2: they don't know who they are without it. So this
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  Speaker 2: identity should be deeply rooted in who you are, not
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  Speaker 2: just what you do. It's a very dangerous way to
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  Speaker 2: live your life. When your identity is tied up in
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  Speaker 2: what you do is areas or than who you are,
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  Speaker 2: You're in a very dangerous place because if it's tied
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  Speaker 2: to those things and they then they don't exist. You're
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  Speaker 2: completely lost without them. There's not a lot of depth
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  Speaker 2: to that identity that is long lasting when it's attached
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  Speaker 2: to what we do, or what we look like or
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  Speaker 2: what we've achieved. I just meant someone the other day
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  Speaker 2: who I knew immediately they lacked a strong identity because
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  Speaker 2: they can. They immediately just resumeated me. I did this,
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  Speaker 2: I did that, I've achieved this, I was written here,
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  Speaker 2: I was that, and I went I actually stopped them,
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  Speaker 2: but I said, you know, I really like you. I
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  Speaker 2: like you. What impresses me is you who you are.
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  Speaker 2: Your kindness. She's brilliant by the way, this woman too,
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  Speaker 2: You're so brilliant, You're.
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  Speaker 3: So kind that's your identity.
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  Speaker 2: Your identity isn't your MBA. Your identity isn't your career,
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  Speaker 2: it's not your identity, but they've linked it to that,
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  Speaker 2: and it is a dangerous way to live your life.
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  Speaker 2: And it's not a deep way to live your life.
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  Speaker 2: A deep way to live your life where you can
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  Speaker 2: make impact in multiple areas is to root your identity
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  Speaker 2: and who you are, those intentions, the things that you
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  Speaker 2: believe to be true, your character, the way you conduct
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  Speaker 2: your yourself, your value in life. That's where identity is
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  Speaker 2: deeply rooted, not in the external. It's okay to be
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  Speaker 2: proud of your a degree or you're a career or
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  Speaker 2: your company. That's different being proud of something and having
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  Speaker 2: a sense of, you know, gratitude for what you've achieved.
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  Speaker 2: That's great, But when you link your identity to it,
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  Speaker 2: you're in a dangerous and shallow place. I'm conscious of
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  Speaker 2: something I think most people are oblivious to. And here's
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  Speaker 2: what it is. You are always making people feel something.
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  Speaker 2: Most people aren't aware of this. No matter what, you're
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  Speaker 2: making them feel something. It could be they could feel
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  Speaker 2: important and needed and loved. They could feel slighted and invisible.
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  Speaker 2: They could feel that you're demeaning to them, But you're
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  Speaker 2: making them feel something so I try to really focus
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  Speaker 2: on my intentions. I love being around confident people, but
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  Speaker 2: they have these high doses of humility, which keeps them humble.
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  Speaker 2: It causes them to still want to learn and grow.
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  Speaker 2: They don't think they know everything. Those people last the
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  Speaker 2: longest in business and in any endeavor. Same time, if
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  Speaker 2: somebody doesn't have a lot of confidence, you feel like
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  Speaker 2: you're carrying those folks your friends through life all the time.
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  Speaker 2: And I think, to some extent, there's this wiring that
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  Speaker 2: happens when you're a child, and so some of the
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  Speaker 2: wiring I've recently discovered. I had Bert Kreischer, the comedian,
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  Speaker 2: on my podcast, and it sort of came out of
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  Speaker 2: me when he was there. Bert's a very well known drinker,
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  Speaker 2: and it's almost a joke about how much that he drinks.
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  Speaker 2: And I asked him, I said, Bert, what kind of
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  Speaker 2: a husband or father do you think you are? And
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  Speaker 2: he said, I think I'm a ten out of ten.
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  Speaker 2: And I think he is. And I told him, I said,
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  Speaker 2: you know, I just discovered something about myself brother, and
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  Speaker 2: it was that my dad's drinking. It wasn't just that
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  Speaker 2: I was worried, you know, is he going to get
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  Speaker 2: in a fight. Is he going to be mean? Or
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  Speaker 2: mom and dad in any disagreement, I said, what happened?
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  Speaker 2: Was I worried about my dad? Is he going to
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  Speaker 2: come home tonight? Is he safe? Is he in danger?
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  Speaker 2: And that wired into me as a little boy, the
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  Speaker 2: neurology the pattern of worry and fear. And so as
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  Speaker 2: I've gotten to be an older, grown man, I've uncovered
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  Speaker 2: that the last year or two, I have a pattern
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  Speaker 2: where I have a tendency my emotional home, so to speak,
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  Speaker 2: as I go back to worry and fear, and I
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  Speaker 2: don't want to I don't want to live that way,
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  Speaker 2: and so I've been working on unwiring that. That's the
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  Speaker 2: thing I've been working most on my healing journey is
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  Speaker 2: you know, it's okay, Everything's going to be okay. I'm blessed,
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  Speaker 2: I'm favored, And it's undoing that wiring of worry and fear.
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  Speaker 2: Because we all have an emotional home. We all have
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  Speaker 2: three or four emotions that no matter what happens in
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  Speaker 2: a given week or month, we're going to get it.
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  Speaker 2: So if your emotional home is anger or worry or
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  Speaker 2: fear of frustration, no matter what the external conditions are,
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  Speaker 2: you're going to find a way to get your hit
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  Speaker 2: of it. Conversely, if your emotional home is peace or
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  Speaker 2: equanimity or bliss or ecstasy, passion, focus, you'll find a
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  Speaker 2: way on a regular basis to get that emotion that
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  Speaker 2: you're familiar with, because we're wired for it in our
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  Speaker 2: bodies and in our minds to be familiar with those emotions.
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  Speaker 2: So I just chose, what are the emotions I want?
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  Speaker 2: Don't want to live and worry and fear even though
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  Speaker 2: my external life is so great, I still have a
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  Speaker 2: tendency to worry and live fearfully. Or how do I
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  Speaker 2: want to live? I want to live in peace. What
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  Speaker 2: I've really learned to do is to choose things in
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  Speaker 2: my life that both are productive but that also give
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  Speaker 2: me a sense of contribution and joy.