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I Don't Want My Kids to Have a Normal Childhood · Making Everyday Magic: The Podcast

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  I do not want my children to have a normal childhood.
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  Welcome back to making Everyday Magic.
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  My name is Shanna and if you are new here, we are going to four.
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  We're in our 10th year of homeschooling.
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  And well, honestly, my kids are rapidly approaching the end of their childhood.
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  Today I want to talk about how I don't want
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  their childhood to be normal.
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  Before we go any further, please scroll down.
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  Hit the big red subscribe button,
• 0:33
  turn on the bell for notifications and give this video a thumbs up.
• 0:36
  As always, you can find me down in the comments
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  and over on Instagram at Making Everyday Magic.
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  First and foremost, childhood is short.
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  It is a season of life
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  that can feel very long on certain days, but at the end of the year,
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  you realize how incredibly short it truly is.
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  I am knocking on the threshold of only having a few more years
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  with my oldest before she is 18, and hopefully on to whatever is next.
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  And it gives you kind of wild perspective shifts.
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  I recognize that
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  I do not want
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  a normal childhood for my kids.
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  What is normal?
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  Normal is a divorce rate at 50%.
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  Normal is two working parents.
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  Normal is student loan debt.
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  Normal is unhappy homes.
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  Normal is martyr.
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  Mothers who sacrifice absolutely everything for everyone in their home.
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  Normal is kids don't have chores anymore.
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  Normal is the excessive early introduction
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  of high amounts of social media and screen time and external influence.
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  Normal is not having a lot of books in the house.
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  Normal is giving up on play as early as 910 years old.
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  Normal is not what I'm going for.
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  Normal is average.
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  Normal is boring, and normal is plain for me.
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  For my children, I recognize
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  that I want to be able to do things with them
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  and for them that are not normal for kids their age.
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  And this comes in a lot of ways.
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  First and foremost, I am fortunate.
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  I am physically able to be present in our home during the day
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  to allow my children to have the educational style
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  that best serves them.
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  So we homeschool and I am in service to my learners,
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  and I am able to be physically present in the home.
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  And all of my work is I do work, I work in the home
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  and therefore my kids can be homeschooled and have a parent here
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  and have daytime activities, which is not normal,
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  but I think really, really helps them a great deal when it comes to their pursuits
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  and the things that they are interested in and the things that they want to do.
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  I have a happy marriage.
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  I have a partner who,
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  while my expectation is that he does
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  all of the things that he does because we are a partnership.
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  The societal standard is that dads are absent, is that dads are useless.
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  Dads don't know where anything is.
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  Dads don't know their birth dates, dads don't know the pediatrician's number.
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  And that is certainly not a normal
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  that I want my girls to see before they head into the world as adults.
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  I don't want that to be their normal childhood.
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  We choose to do things as a family instead of choosing
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  to go our separate directions because we genuinely like each other.
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  And I know that that is not the norm.
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  I know that's not normal.
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  We have our family be family centric instead of kid centric,
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  and that is not normal anymore with prices the way that they are.
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  The fact that and we get a membership.
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  So it is a heavy discount.
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  So we are not paying this, we are not paying this.
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  I could not afford it, but the fact that my kids have access to a zoo
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  that now in the summer can cost $50.
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  A person who can afford those prices so abnormally
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  they're able to go to zoos, museums, art museums.
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  My kid's education has already included art studies, art history, history,
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  social studies, social impact, Black American history.
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  That is not normal.
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  That is not normal.
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  And I'm really proud of that.
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  I am proud of the fact that not only am I not giving my children
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  a normal childhood, I don't want to.
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  So if your argument against homeschooling or your argument against my way
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  of life is like, oh, they won't be normal, they won't fit in.
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  Fantastic, fantastic.
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  I want them to be exceptional.
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  I want to give them every single leg up an opportunity that we possibly can.
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  And that is both by things that we provide them and by things that we deny them.
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  So we do not allow them to be the center of attention.
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  Everybody gets their season,
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  but we do not allow them to be spoiled and the center of attention.
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  We provide them with consistency.
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  We provide them with expectations.
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  We can provide them with a bar that is set
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  that we expect them to reach and exceed.
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  They have chores.
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  I do not want a normal childhood for my kids.
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  I have seen what normal is and that's not for us.
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  I want them to be exceptional.
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  I also know from the interwebs, from the world, from personal stories,
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  from friends, the things that I have seen, the normal expectation for women.
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  I don't want that for them either.
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  I want them to do
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  big and amazing and wonderful things, and to never think that they can't.
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  I never want them to sit quietly in a corner of a room,
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  when the only thing that is going to make that space better is their voice.
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  I do not want normal for my children.
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  There is no part of me that is searching out normal.
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  So if you come at me and you say, oh, but they won't be.
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  That is only a further endorsement of the lives
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  we are leading and the ways that we are leading them.
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  Now here's the deal.
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  Are they special?
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  Absolutely they are to me. Are they special to the world?
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  I hope so, I hope they do things that make them invaluable to this planet
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  and that they change the world.
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  But I know that what I can do, and the gift that I can give to
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  the world, is by the humans that I am raising to sent into it.
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  So in this season of life, I'm working hard.
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  I'm working hard to make sure that they have extraordinary opportunities.
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  I'm working hard to make sure that they get into extraordinary spaces.
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  I'm making sure that they know that they are valued, but so are others.
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  I want them to be compassionate.
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  I want them to be empathetic.
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  I want to think of others alongside themselves.
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  I do not want my girls, especially, to go into the world with the sole purpose
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  of putting themselves down at the expense of others.
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  Now go be in service. Absolutely. Go have kids.
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  Absolutely. Go lead a happy marriage.
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  Absolutely.
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  But what I don't want them to do is fall into the norms,
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  the norms that keep women down, the norms that allow men
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  to be useless, the norms that will make them look like every other little thing.
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  The norm of having student loan debt,
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  the norm that everybody needs to go get their bachelor's degree.
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  I want my kids to know that outside of the box, coloring outside
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  the lines can be the truest form of art that honoring themselves
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  instead of a status quo, instead of the norm, instead of societal
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  expectations will always be the best way to serve themselves.
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  And for me, I am incredibly passionate about this, and I recognize that
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  my role in this is to give them the tools to go forth,
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  which is not giving them a normal childhood.
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  My role in this is to also give them the foundation to recognize that
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  risks are worth taking, and that we will always be a safe space to land.
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  So no, I don't want to give my kids a normal childhood.
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  And honestly, if you're homeschooling, I hope you aren't either.
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  And I know that that can be intimidating.
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  It can be really scary to go against the grain.
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  It can be really scary to speak up for what you need, what you want,
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  what you expect.
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  But if we did that, I assure you that more men would know their kids birthdays.
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  And I assure you that more people would be happier.
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  More people would get what they need.
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  More people would have space in their lives,
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  in their homes, in their homeschool, in their parenting,
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  in their motherhood, in their parenthood and their adulthood in the world.
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  If we just expected more.
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  So no, not normal. Not even a little.
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  My kid can recognize a metis.
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  I'm pretty sure that's not normal.
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  And I'm really proud of that.
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  Guys, I hope that you found any of this helpful, entertaining, or informative.
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  If you did, please scroll down, hit that big red subscribe button
• 9:11
  and turn on the bell for notifications and give this video a thumbs up.
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  I would love to hear from the parents out there,
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  from the homeschools, from the moms, whatever.
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  If it's in your marriage, your homeschool, your parenting, in yourself,
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  what is one thing that's accepted as normal that is just kind of
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  allowed to be that you have actively thought?
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  Not for me.
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  I don't want to be normal. Not on that one.
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  I would love to hear it down in the comments. Please share.
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  Maybe you're going to motivate somebody else.
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  Maybe you're going to inspire somebody else.
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  And together we can keep making everyday magic.