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49. Why It Is Important to Control Your Thoughts · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie Owen: Your thought habits are the most powerful habits we have of all.
• 0:07
  Kathie Owen: And it is estimated that we think over 90,000 thoughts a day.
• 0:13
  Kathie Owen: So assume you sleep for eight hours.
• 0:18
  Kathie Owen: That leaves you with 16 hours in the day left.
• 0:22
  Kathie Owen: That comes out to 57,600.
• 0:28
  Kathie Owen: That means you probably think two thoughts a second, all day long, if not more, what is the quality of those thoughts?
• 0:38
  Kathie Owen: And then look at the quality of your life when you become aware of your thought habits.
• 0:45
  Kathie Owen: And you start to think about how you're thinking, literally it changes everything.
• 0:53
  Kathie Owen: And that's what we're gonna talk about today.
• 0:57
  Kathie Owen: You're listening or watching things Stop the Mind Screw Podcast.
• 1:01
  Kathie Owen: I'm your host, Kathie Owen Certified Fitness Trainer and Life Coach since 2002, teaching othersthe Stop the Mind Screw Process.
• 1:11
  Kathie Owen: On this channel we talk about health wellness, fitness habits, and even some Reality Transurfing.
• 1:20
  Kathie Owen: And today I titled this episode.
• 1:23
  Kathie Owen: What are your thought habits?
• 1:27
  Kathie Owen: Your thought habits is where your power lies, but oftentimes we're stuck in, what's called a bad thought habit loop.
• 1:37
  Kathie Owen: Your thought habits are the most powerful habits you can have.
• 1:41
  Kathie Owen: But so many of us are unaware.
• 1:44
  Kathie Owen: Of even what we are thinking that we can get lost in the bad habit loop, we think in excess of 90,000 thoughts a day, but do you ever contemplate what that thought is doing to your mindset to your body and even to your spirit?, William Shakespeare, the king of awesome quotes said in the play Hamlet,"There is nothing good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." Keep that in mind while we discuss this episode, when we change our perspective, everything changes.
• 2:27
  Kathie Owen: And oftentimes it seems to be easier said than done, but I'm here to tell you the hard part is holding on to that negative crap.
• 2:38
  Kathie Owen: So let me tell you about a story.
• 2:42
  Kathie Owen: Of one of my college friends when I was a junior in college, I thought I put thought in quotes, I had the opportunity to go to homecoming.
• 2:53
  Kathie Owen: This was a big deal to me because I had never been to homecoming on a date.
• 2:59
  Kathie Owen: I was an awkward kid in college and I commuted from my parents' house to college without a car.
• 3:08
  Kathie Owen: This meant I had to use public transportation, a very uncomfortable spot to say the least dating was also awkward for me because this meant my dates always had to pick me up at my parents house.
• 3:23
  Kathie Owen: And my parents were very strict.
• 3:26
  Kathie Owen: And for this blossoming 22 year old rebel, you can say that friction in my house was.
• 3:34
  Kathie Owen: I had been dating David for a few weeks, maybe two dates and homecoming was quickly approaching.
• 3:42
  Kathie Owen: David was a tall blue eyed, handsome Sigma Chi, and I was Delta Zeta.
• 3:48
  Kathie Owen: And this meant something really meant something.
• 3:53
  Kathie Owen: In my little world at the time.
• 3:56
  Kathie Owen: So imagine my disappointment.
• 3:58
  Kathie Owen: When the president of Delta Zeta approached me to tell me she was going to homecoming with David, what could I say?
• 4:09
  Kathie Owen: A few weeks went by and I was at a football party at a friend's house.
• 4:13
  Kathie Owen: And as fate would have it, David and his new girlfriend show up at the same.
• 4:20
  Kathie Owen: I was standing outside when they drove up, Terry was driving and all of a sudden the door flew open and out, flew a crutch.
• 4:30
  Kathie Owen: She jumped out of the car, laughing her butt off, telling David, uh, just get out of the car.
• 4:36
  Kathie Owen: You're completely capable.
• 4:39
  Kathie Owen: And David bubbles his way out of the truck and is laughing at her and they giggle and find their way to his crutch.
• 4:46
  Kathie Owen: And she helps him inside.
• 4:49
  Kathie Owen: All the, while they are laughing at several inside jokes, they have made together.
• 4:55
  Kathie Owen: It was right then and there.
• 4:56
  Kathie Owen: I had a very young realization.
• 4:59
  Kathie Owen: She was better for him than I was.
• 5:02
  Kathie Owen: And let me tell you a little seed was planted that day.
• 5:08
  Kathie Owen: I came to the conclusion.
• 5:10
  Kathie Owen: A thousand times since then, you know, with my ex-husband for sure.
• 5:15
  Kathie Owen: But also with all the others that led me to Eddie.
• 5:19
  Kathie Owen: And even if Eddie decides to leave me, I will be able to think like this again.
• 5:25
  Kathie Owen: You know, Terry and David married soon after college and had children.
• 5:29
  Kathie Owen: And you think that's the end of the story, but guess what?
• 5:32
  Kathie Owen: It's not.
• 5:33
  Kathie Owen: Fast forward 30 something years later.
• 5:36
  Kathie Owen: Yeah, I am that old.
• 5:38
  Kathie Owen: I'm as old as the super bowl, look it up.
• 5:42
  Kathie Owen: I had heard Eddie's daughter, Chelsea talking about her childhood friend whose father David owned a bowling alley.
• 5:50
  Kathie Owen: And I noticed that Eddie's daughter was friends with my sorority sister on Facebook.
• 5:55
  Kathie Owen: So I asked Eddie, how does Chelsea know Terry?
• 5:58
  Kathie Owen: And he told me that their kids grew up together and they had lived on the same street when the kids were little talk about a small world.
• 6:08
  Kathie Owen: As fate would have it again a few weeks ago.
• 6:12
  Kathie Owen: Yeah, just a few weeks ago.
• 6:14
  Kathie Owen: David and Terry's daughter was at a swim party.
• 6:16
  Kathie Owen: We had for Wyatt that's Eddie's grandson.
• 6:19
  Kathie Owen: She and I put the connection together.
• 6:23
  Kathie Owen: Terry Crystal's mother actually called her while we were standing beside her.
• 6:27
  Kathie Owen: Her mom said, oh yeah, I remember Kathie Ingram.
• 6:31
  Kathie Owen: She and Trisha introduced me to David.
• 6:34
  Kathie Owen: Oh, yeah.
• 6:37
  Kathie Owen: something like that.
• 6:38
  Kathie Owen: Wink, wink,.
• 6:40
  Kathie Owen: Cue the song, Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks and look at Eddie He compliments me and I don't mean it in a sense that he says compliments, you know, we just mesh kind of like the cute couple throwing crutches out the window.
• 6:58
  Kathie Owen: You never know what that unanswered prayer really means.
• 7:04
  Kathie Owen: So I want you to consider what are your thought habits?
• 7:08
  Kathie Owen: How do you approach situations that outwardly seem disappointing to our human mind, but truly are a blessing.
• 7:17
  Kathie Owen: This quote from Gandhi says it all, all about your thought habits,"your beliefs become your thoughts, become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits.
• 7:31
  Kathie Owen: And your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.
• 7:37
  Kathie Owen: So what are your thought habits you may have heard me talk about toxic positivity girl in quotes.
• 7:46
  Kathie Owen: You know, I absolutely abor that term, toxic positivity, and really what it means is force positivity, little Miriam freed on Instagram.
• 7:58
  Kathie Owen: She's a fitness pro.
• 8:01
  Kathie Owen: But she's the one I refer to as toxic positivity girl, she calls everything out and would rather be right than kind and is living in pride on the levels of consciousness, which I have a video on that I did a few weeks ago.
• 8:18
  Kathie Owen: You're more than welcome to watch that.
• 8:19
  Kathie Owen: And I'll have a link in the show notes as well as the description for the video.
• 8:27
  Kathie Owen: So I follow toxic positivity girl, just to see how that toxic positivity is working out for her.
• 8:34
  Kathie Owen: And let's just say it is not good, but I actually almost unfollowed her at the beginning of June because, oh my gosh, she did not complain about anything.
• 8:48
  Kathie Owen: She was actually boring.
• 8:51
  Kathie Owen: Oh, but then Roe versus Wade hit and it has been over, she is adamant about content creators.
• 9:01
  Kathie Owen: Speaking out about this.
• 9:03
  Kathie Owen: Again, she'd rather be right than kind.
• 9:07
  Kathie Owen: And I have seen many content creators and fellow entrepreneurs hurt by this concept that we have to.
• 9:14
  Kathie Owen: Talk about whatever the situation that's going on in the world right now.
• 9:20
  Kathie Owen: And, and they don't know how to approach this because evidently our silence is wrong.
• 9:28
  Kathie Owen: I have seen battles take place over this one topic.
• 9:31
  Kathie Owen: What a waste of energy.
• 9:34
  Kathie Owen: And if you agree with it, but that's fine.
• 9:37
  Kathie Owen: If you don't agree with it, that's fine.
• 9:39
  Kathie Owen: All truths are half truths.
• 9:41
  Kathie Owen: Anyway, don't forget that.
• 9:43
  Kathie Owen: And if you don't wanna speak out about it, it's fine.
• 9:46
  Kathie Owen: And if you do, it's fine, but I'll be damned if I have.
• 9:51
  Kathie Owen: Some toxic positivity girl, trying to shame me and my fellow kind entrepreneurs over here for not voicing my opinion.
• 10:01
  Kathie Owen: We all know that shame is on the levels of consciousness.
• 10:06
  Kathie Owen: The thing is toxic positivity.
• 10:09
  Kathie Owen: Girl has some very valid points and she is right most of the time, but she is so dang forceful that it makes me wonder what her thought habits are.
• 10:21
  Kathie Owen: Actually, I don't have to wonder is blatantly obvious.
• 10:24
  Kathie Owen: She is stuck in force.
• 10:27
  Kathie Owen: When you come from a place of force, you are no better than the things you are fighting about the race battle, Tracy Anderson method, sheen, clothing, the government, and the decisions they force upon us.
• 10:42
  Kathie Owen: Gun control, the supplement industry, male dominance, and rudeness in the gym.
• 10:48
  Kathie Owen: Oh, the list goes on and on.
• 10:51
  Kathie Owen: Oh, my God.
• 10:51
  Kathie Owen: She even had a stance on the Texas freeze and she lives in New York city as survivor of the Texas freeze.
• 11:01
  Kathie Owen: I can tell you though, on that topic, she was dead wrong.
• 11:06
  Kathie Owen: I did a video on the Texas freeze and I'll have a link in the show notes and the description.
• 11:13
  Kathie Owen: When you rely on politics in the news for your information and your battles, you get stuck in a mess of destructive pendulums.
• 11:22
  Kathie Owen: Your energy gets lost in them.
• 11:24
  Kathie Owen: I, I have seen her visibly shaken over some of her thought habits.
• 11:29
  Kathie Owen: That is an obvious sign of a destructive pendulum at work.
• 11:35
  Kathie Owen: And this happens when we'd rather be right than kind, but there is a better way.
• 11:41
  Kathie Owen: Relax, sit back and watch the pendulum fade away.
• 11:45
  Kathie Owen: And a pendulum is just a thought structure that everybody else thinks it's kind of like the pain body in Eckhart Tolles teaching.
• 11:52
  Kathie Owen: And it is from reality trans surfing.
• 11:55
  Kathie Owen: And I talk about it a lot and I also have a download on how to deal with negative pendulums and I'll have a link in the show.
• 12:03
  Kathie Owen: Today, but toxic positivity girl, right along with that destructive pendulum, you know, she's just going down with it.
• 12:15
  Kathie Owen: And it's very obvious regardless of how you define success.
• 12:20
  Kathie Owen: The question is how to achieve it.
• 12:25
  Kathie Owen: And for that, we have to start with the basics, our thoughts.
• 12:30
  Kathie Owen: And attitudes and the habits and the behaviors they create.
• 12:34
  Kathie Owen: The reality is to a great extent.
• 12:37
  Kathie Owen: We create our own reality by the things we choose to think about and how we choose to think about them that translates into the habits and behaviors that serve to create our success or diminish it.
• 12:55
  Kathie Owen: So what's the solution, Kathie?
• 12:58
  Kathie Owen: What can I do to help me with my thought habits?
• 13:02
  Kathie Owen: I'm so glad you asked in my new habit.
• 13:07
  Kathie Owen: Download.
• 13:08
  Kathie Owen: I have a checklist and on number eight is harmony in thought harmony in your thought habits.
• 13:16
  Kathie Owen: And then also step number nine or checklist point number nine is planning for failure.
• 13:24
  Kathie Owen: The whole premise of Stop the Mind Screw Process is to get into flow and flow is when we find harmony between the challenge and the skill.
• 13:32
  Kathie Owen: And this is from the book flow by Mihi Chisim high flow, the psychology of optimal experience by Mihi Chi semi high.
• 13:44
  Kathie Owen: And I have this quote on my homepage.
• 13:48
  Kathie Owen: Is pretty much just resembles what stop.
• 13:52
  Kathie Owen: The, my screw is all about.
• 13:54
  Kathie Owen: Control your inner experience.
• 13:56
  Kathie Owen: That's your mind.
• 13:57
  Kathie Owen: And you'll be able to determine the quality of your life, which is as close as any of us can become to being happy.
• 14:08
  Kathie Owen: So you control your mind or your inner experience, which you do have the power to do.
• 14:14
  Kathie Owen: You'll be able to determine the quality of your life.
• 14:16
  Kathie Owen: You won't sit there and mind screw yourself through pendulums, giving your energy to them, or mind, screw yourself into thinking and forcing somebody to be with you because you think that's, what's gonna make you happy.
• 14:31
  Kathie Owen: But how does one do that?
• 14:32
  Kathie Owen: I, I get that.
• 14:33
  Kathie Owen: That's not an easy task, especially in this day.
• 14:37
  Kathie Owen: And.
• 14:38
  Kathie Owen: So we can meditate on harmony.
• 14:40
  Kathie Owen: What does that mean to you?
• 14:41
  Kathie Owen: What does harmony mean to you?
• 14:44
  Kathie Owen: I guarantee you, when you start thinking about it and focusing on it, you'll start seeing it pop up more and more places.
• 14:52
  Kathie Owen: And when you focus on harmony or gratitude, it attitude, it just grows.
• 14:59
  Kathie Owen: It's just part of the law.
• 15:04
  Kathie Owen: anyways.
• 15:05
  Kathie Owen: I also like a mental diet and I have a resource guide.
• 15:09
  Kathie Owen: That is a bonus when you download your habit guide, but the mental diet, all it is, is you gonna ha you're going to have negative thoughts.
• 15:21
  Kathie Owen: It's just part of being human.
• 15:23
  Kathie Owen: But you don't dwell on him.
• 15:26
  Kathie Owen: And Emmett Fox teaches us in his little book on the seven day mental diet to go seven days without dwelling on the negative thoughts.
• 15:36
  Kathie Owen: And when you do this, you'd be surprised at how it transforms your world.
• 15:42
  Kathie Owen: You just let him go.
• 15:43
  Kathie Owen: Let,'em go.
• 15:44
  Kathie Owen: Let'em go.
• 15:46
  Kathie Owen: It's not your fault that you're thinking.
• 15:49
  Kathie Owen: It is your fault that you're not controlling them.
• 15:51
  Kathie Owen: You're just letting your mind go.
• 15:54
  Kathie Owen: And that's where we want to find that control.
• 15:59
  Kathie Owen: Another way you can find harmony is take a break when you're frustrated, just get up and walk away.
• 16:05
  Kathie Owen: When you do that, you, you, you bring flow back into the process because you're going to have challenges and you're going to have your skill.
• 16:15
  Kathie Owen: And when you just step up and walk away and come back, it changes everything.
• 16:22
  Kathie Owen: And step number nine or checklist point number nine is plan for failure.
• 16:26
  Kathie Owen: Because it's not, if you are going to fail, it is win.
• 16:34
  Kathie Owen: If you plan ahead, you won't need to rely on willpower to achieve your goals.
• 16:40
  Kathie Owen: So you plan, oh, I, I, I expect failure and I'm gonna plan to, I don't know, get up and take a break when needed and.
• 16:52
  Kathie Owen: This is called implementation intention.
• 16:56
  Kathie Owen: And the strategy requires visualizing not only your goals, but also any potential obstacles you will have and how you will overcome them.
• 17:09
  Kathie Owen: Because again, I'm gonna tell you, it's not, if you're gonna fail it is.
• 17:17
  Kathie Owen: So I have a little note on here to tell the story about when I took CPR, I took CPR so many times as a personal trainer that I could probably teach it, but I had this one instructor really teach us how to handle an emergency situation.
• 17:33
  Kathie Owen: I always say, I know CPR, but I don't wanna perform it.
• 17:38
  Kathie Owen: But when she taught me this, it changed everything.
• 17:42
  Kathie Owen: And this is how you plan for failure.
• 17:48
  Kathie Owen: she told us that what she does is she pictures in her mind?
• 17:52
  Kathie Owen: What happens if that person falls down and passes out right there?
• 17:57
  Kathie Owen: And what are your steps?
• 17:59
  Kathie Owen: What are you gonna do?
• 17:59
  Kathie Owen: Because you've taken CPR so many times you really could probably do it in your.
• 18:05
  Kathie Owen: That's what you wanna focus on.
• 18:06
  Kathie Owen: You wanna focus on the steps you would follow.
• 18:09
  Kathie Owen: And as a doctor, as an EMS, as somebody who does CPR performs CPR, they already do this in their mind, whether they realize that or not, because technically you are trained to do that.
• 18:22
  Kathie Owen: So you're training your brain to deal with a traumatic situation.
• 18:27
  Kathie Owen: Because when it comes to play, you're in the habit of, oh, this is what I have to do this.
• 18:34
  Kathie Owen: And when you're in the habit of something, it comes natural, it comes unconsciously.
• 18:40
  Kathie Owen: So I have to ask you, how will you control your thought habits?
• 18:45
  Kathie Owen: You can do a mental diet, you can practice meditation and understand where is your focus and, and what can you control?
• 18:55
  Kathie Owen: What can you control?
• 18:56
  Kathie Owen: Whereas toxic positivity girl is fighting so many different things that she really can't control.
• 19:05
  Kathie Owen: And when she lets go of that control, first of all, she'll be kind because she won't be griping at people that really already know, oh honey, I can't control that, dude.
• 19:16
  Kathie Owen: That's.
• 19:17
  Kathie Owen: That's a pendulum you're falling into, but she won't hear that she'd rather fight over it.
• 19:22
  Kathie Owen: And then you also don't get all shaky and upset when some law comes into place that yeah, it's gonna affect you, but you know what?
• 19:34
  Kathie Owen: You're human.
• 19:35
  Kathie Owen: You have to live here.
• 19:36
  Kathie Owen: It is what it is.
• 19:37
  Kathie Owen: And you're gonna sit there and fight a supplement industry or fight Tracy Anderson method.
• 19:43
  Kathie Owen: Let's take that.
• 19:44
  Kathie Owen: For example, Tracy Anderson, I taught her method before she even came up with it.
• 19:51
  Kathie Owen: My boss taught me this class that we called forfeit.
• 19:54
  Kathie Owen: That was the same thing that Tracy taught.
• 19:57
  Kathie Owen: And so when Tracy Anderson put out her book, the Tracy Anderson method, I got the book and there were some things in there.
• 20:04
  Kathie Owen: Girl, there was just wrong.
• 20:06
  Kathie Owen: I mean, she says some really crazy fitness things.
• 20:10
  Kathie Owen: So is toxic positivity girl, right?
• 20:14
  Kathie Owen: Abso freaking lately, but she's not pulling from what she can control.
• 20:19
  Kathie Owen: She can't control it.
• 20:20
  Kathie Owen: Tracy Anderson is going to be big no matter what, whether she likes it or not, she's not gonna take anything and get somebody to change their mind.
• 20:30
  Kathie Owen: If they like it.
• 20:31
  Kathie Owen: I love Tracy Anderson method.
• 20:33
  Kathie Owen: It works.
• 20:34
  Kathie Owen: It's wonderful.
• 20:35
  Kathie Owen: It's easy.
• 20:36
  Kathie Owen: And especially for my older adults, it's simple and they can do it because they're not lifting weights.
• 20:41
  Kathie Owen: And it's all about range of motion and it works, but some of her concepts are off the chart.
• 20:48
  Kathie Owen: N not even correct, but that's a whole nother story and that's not something I can control.
• 20:56
  Kathie Owen: I'm not gonna go complain about Tracy Anderson and shut my mind down to anything that has to do with that.
• 21:03
  Kathie Owen: When there is some right in it, all truths are half truths.
• 21:07
  Kathie Owen: Just remember that another way you can control your thought habits is to find a hobby.
• 21:15
  Kathie Owen: A hobby is something that can distract you and also get you out of the pendulum's hook and, and give you something to work for.
• 21:29
  Kathie Owen: We need five hobbies.
• 21:30
  Kathie Owen: We need one that earns us money.
• 21:33
  Kathie Owen: One that gets us in shape and keeps us healthy.
• 21:36
  Kathie Owen: One that gains us knowledge.
• 21:38
  Kathie Owen: One that builds mindset and one that builds creativity.
• 21:43
  Kathie Owen: One of the last things that you can do to control your thought habits is balance.
• 21:49
  Kathie Owen: Life is all about balance.
• 21:51
  Kathie Owen: You're going to.
• 21:53
  Kathie Owen: Ups and downs, highs and lows pulls in each direction.
• 21:57
  Kathie Owen: And when you're in a really bad situation and you're really stressed out intense, just know it's not always gonna be that way.
• 22:06
  Kathie Owen: And that is not toxic positivity.
• 22:08
  Kathie Owen: That is actually a fact.
• 22:10
  Kathie Owen: And sometimes when you can focus on that, remember focus and what you can control.
• 22:17
  Kathie Owen: That brings your power back because your thought habits is where your power lies.
• 22:24
  Kathie Owen: All right.
• 22:24
  Kathie Owen: That's my episode for today.
• 22:26
  Kathie Owen: I hope you liked it.
• 22:28
  Kathie Owen: If you did be sure to share it with somebody who could benefit and till next time, I'll see you next time Peace out and Namaste.