Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1072 - Does Parenting Have a PR Problem?

Transcript

#1072 - Does Parenting Have a PR Problem? · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite things about the Happy Families podcast
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: is talking to awesome people. One of my favorite people
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: in media today is somebody called Angela Mollard. If you
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: read any kind of media online or even even the
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: odd fashioned way with paper in your hand, you will
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: have come across Angela Mollard's writing. Angela is an experienced
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: columnist skilled in journalism, radio, television, magazines and newspapers. And
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I think we've been on TV together before it Yeah,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: will you.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Be on Channel nine together on the Today Not Today
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Today Extra? We used to do and we used to
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: thrash things out and it was lovely. You were the
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: highlight of my week.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Sometimes always fun, not just contributing to TV and writing
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: weekly for the news court papers on a range of topics,
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  Speaker 2: one of which is parenting. You shut up recently and
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: do you say Maurray Claire or Marie Claire. I've never
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: known Murray Claire?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Was which one did you see there? And why were
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: you buying Murrayclare?
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  Speaker 2: Justin No, I was just I was just gurgling around
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: and seeing what else you've been up to. I can't
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: even remember what the article was, but I do know
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: that I really enjoyed it because I.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Was that I did the three of the Matilda's before
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: they went overseas, and I did Elizabeth de Bickie from
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: The Crown, and I've done Theresa Palmer and Shaketti I
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: love working for Murray Claire. Were just make thing.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think it was any of those, but whatever
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  Speaker 2: it was, it just drew me in. It drew me in,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: and I thought, this is why I love Angela Mollart.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I need it on the podcast because of a recent
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: article that you wrote for the News Court Papers, which
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: is that parenting needs a PR job. We've got a
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: PR problem when it comes to parenting. And your argument
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: basically is that I don't know people who were sort
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: of in their twenties and thirties are looking at parenting
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: and saying it's kind of hard. It correlates with some
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: research out of Europe. I came across and study from
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Germany that indicated that most German couples are opting for
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: zero or one children because once you get past one,
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  Speaker 2: well it's harder again. And so there's just a there's
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: a lack of desirability on our younger generation around parenting.
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  Speaker 2: Once upon a time, having kids was just what you did.
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  Speaker 2: You had to consciously opt out of parenting a generation
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  Speaker 2: or two ago, whereas now young people seem to be
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  Speaker 2: consciously determining whether or not they will opt in because
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: they're worried about careers and houses and deposits and dollars
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: and accomplishment and figuring out who they are, just identity stuff.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I loved your article. Where did it come from? What
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: was the idea behind it?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Look, all most of my articles come from just listening
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to hearing people having conversations. And I have friendships with
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: people in their late twenties and thirties, and some you know,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: through relatives and things. I can hear this conversation. And
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  Speaker 1: I was actually speaking to someone, a couple who were
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: getting married about a week before I wrote this piece,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: and it was just like, gosh, all our friends that've
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: started having babies there and these two were and thirty two,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: and they said, you know, none of them make it
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: look or sound any fun. They're always talking about how
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: tiring it is. You know, they're always exhausted. You know,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: somebody even gone so far as to say, you know,
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  Speaker 1: you should think seriously about doing this. It really changes
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: your life, and it really made me think about it.
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  Speaker 1: I think since the turn of the century and the
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: sort of since we started having mummy bloggers, I think
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  Speaker 1: the whole notion of talking about parenting has largely been
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: and you know, it's great just talk about the vulnerabilities
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: and to be open about it rather than simply just
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  Speaker 1: brushing it under the carpet. But I do think that
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: we've spoken so much about how bad it is that
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  Speaker 1: we've forgotten to talk about the joy of it.
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  Speaker 2: Even as you're saying that, I'm thinking about mummy bloggers
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: and instau mums and the TikTok parenting. I mean, it's
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  Speaker 2: just it's it's almost rabid in some sections, and there's
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  Speaker 2: a whole lot of people who are not experts who
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  Speaker 2: are masquerading as experts and telling parents how to do it,
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  Speaker 2: and for the most part, they make parenting look hard.
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  Speaker 2: Like when you go away and try to be a
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  Speaker 2: quote unquote gentle parent, it never quite works out the
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  Speaker 2: way that it looks on social media. It looks really hard.
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  Speaker 2: Question for you, did your parents complain about how hard
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  Speaker 2: it was to be a parent like modern parents do.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Fantastic question. Justin not at all. Never have even now
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: my parents that they enveloped their grandchildren. They have them
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: living with them for periods of time. I've currently my
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: grandparents have one of their grandchildren from Japan living with
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: them for this year. They've had others living with them.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: They have always embraced it and believed it just a
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: normal part of life that doesn't actually require as much
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: commentary as we currently give it. They always made growing up.
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  Speaker 1: My mum always made me feel that I was myself
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  Speaker 1: and my brothers were number one. Her life revolved she
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: was a teacher and a special needs teacher, so she
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: had a big job. She still sees kids along the way.
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  Speaker 1: And I always felt like I was just the center
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: of her universe. And I interviewed her recently because she's
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: turning eighty, and I thought, you know, even listening to her,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: because I wanted to interview her just in case was
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: she ever to get to dementia or anything like that.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: That I have a record of some parts of her life,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: and what shone through was just how much she enjoyed it.
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  Speaker 1: She just enjoyed raising three kids, but she did make
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: the point, there wasn't the expectation for the children to perform,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: for the children to get to this birthday party, for
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  Speaker 1: kids to look a certain way on social media, or
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  Speaker 1: to perform at school. We just bumbled along. And you know,
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  Speaker 1: I just went to the local co ed secondary school,
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  Speaker 1: I felt, and she talked a little bit about where
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  Speaker 1: hunger came from kids themselves rather than from expectations put
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: on them from parents, And I think that made it
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  Speaker 1: easier for parents and easier for children.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Angela, this idea of your mum being fulfilled by the
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: role of mother, do you think that that fulfillment is
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: still evident in twenty twenty four. Do you think the
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: parents are looking at the role of parenting and saying, yes,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: this is number one what I'll be doing. I don't
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  Speaker 2: have to opt in around, It's just what I do.
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  Speaker 2: A number two I expected to be fulfilling. And could
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: that be part of the problem as well? For all
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: of those times, Let's face a lot of the time
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  Speaker 2: parenting is not fulfilling. It is actually it's a bit
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  Speaker 2: of a grind.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: There's a lot to night but me boring, it can
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  Speaker 1: be grindy. We can I think we measure it more
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  Speaker 1: than we ever used to. We focus on outcomes more
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  Speaker 1: than just letting it flow. But to answer you a
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: question about do you think it can be fulfilling? The
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: reason one of the reasons I read this piece is
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: that I woke up one morning from a text from
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: my daughter, who is twenty. She was upstairs. A possum
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: had got into her room at night, and she'd sent
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: me a message overnight saying, Mum, there's a possum in
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  Speaker 1: my room. I didn't want to wake you up, but
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  Speaker 1: I think it might be a two man job to
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  Speaker 1: get rid of it. And I lay there in bed
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: before I jumped up and went to deal with the possum.
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  Speaker 1: I lay there and thought, this little girl used to
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  Speaker 1: come into my bedroom every night for a year. It
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: used to do my head, and it used to be
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: was so. And then one day she just stopped. And
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I realized that everything in parenting just passes, and if
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: you just go, okay, this is just happening. Now now
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  Speaker 1: I have this twenty year old, this fully girl, an
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: adult who dealt with this problem herself. Went up there
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  Speaker 1: in the after I'd laying there for ten minutes, just
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  Speaker 1: really reflecting on I've raised an adult and she can
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  Speaker 1: now deal with things on her own, including a possum.
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  Speaker 1: And I went upstairs and the possum had got itself
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: out through the window that had come in. There were
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: droppings all over her desk, next to her perfume bottles
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: and you know, and her books. And I just thought, Wow,
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  Speaker 1: I'm so fortunate that this human. I've created this human
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  Speaker 1: and I get these experiences all the time. Look, I
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: will say there were moments in the park when I
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: was pushing them and I had a deadline, and I
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: you know, it wasn't I as a journalist. It was
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  Speaker 1: I have a very sort of erratic working life. But
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  Speaker 1: I'm really grateful. There's nothing in my life that means
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  Speaker 1: more than them, and I'm so grateful I had them.
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  Speaker 1: And I just don't hear that story anymore. Don't hear
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  Speaker 1: the joy of it. I hear how tired is how
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  Speaker 1: I need to have a glass of wine to get
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  Speaker 1: through it. And I'm not critiquing any of that, but
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  Speaker 1: I just wonder if we were more present with it,
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  Speaker 1: and if we you know, one of the reasons I
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  Speaker 1: wrote the headline is I did that. You know, it
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  Speaker 1: needs a pr job is that the government, the treasurer
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  Speaker 1: is talking about we need more kids. The birth rates
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: fall and it's dropped significantly in cities. But rather than
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  Speaker 1: just saying have a child, we're not really showcasing how
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: joyous it can be. And the and I just think
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  Speaker 1: if we can encourage more conversation about it, so that
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  Speaker 1: when that thirty year old sits down, we're thinking about
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  Speaker 1: having a baby, the friend says, oh, yeah, we were.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: You know, we had a hard night. But honestly, that smile,
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  Speaker 1: that little smile just makes my day. I just don't
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  Speaker 1: think we're hearing that we skew to the negative.
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  Speaker 2: Angela. I've become a grandfather in the last year and
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  Speaker 2: it's brought back the most joyful and delightful parts of
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  Speaker 2: what parenting is. I sense as I'm listening to what
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: you're talking about that a lot of people are focused
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: on the short term. And the short term is PuO
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  Speaker 2: explosions that go up the back and out the neck
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  Speaker 2: of the jumpsuit. The short term is sleepless nights. The
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: short term is I don't want to eat my dinner
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: on the green plate. I want the blue plate. And
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: of course we've got things like diagnoses and the work,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: the work juggle, trying to get family life around that.
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  Speaker 2: And yet I see that little soon to be one
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  Speaker 2: year old smile at me, and I just I almost
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: want to weep. It's so gorgeous. And the long term,
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: the long term of parenting is, as you've said, seeing
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  Speaker 2: this twenty year old deal with the possum that got
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: into the room overnight, and I don't know, your child
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: still managed to survive, didn't end up with scratches and
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: have her eyes gouged out by by that possum. The
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: long term is becoming a grandparent, like I mean, that's
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: a really long term play. But oh my goodness, I'm
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: getting weepy just thinking about it. The long term is
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: seeing your child achieve something where they the odds. The
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: fulfillment that comes from that is so extraordinary. But I wonder,
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I wonder if you were to reflect on what you
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: wrote in this article about parenting needing a pr job,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: and if you were to take the straw man argument
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: that so many make that parenting is too hard and
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: turn it into a steel man where we argue that
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: parenting is worth it while still maintaining that sort of
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  Speaker 2: short term focus. Because when you're talking to a twenty
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: four year old or a thirty four year old, they're
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: not really looking twenty to thirty years down the track.
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  Speaker 2: They're just thinking, I've got to go through twenty to
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: thirty years of investment and pain to get to this
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: payoff that I'm describing. How would you steal man that
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: short term argument, I'd go.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Macro over micro. We're always thinking about the micro. We're
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: always thinking about this one minute when this kid is
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: putting their fingers into the power points, or when, as
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: you say, they want the green plate not the blue plate,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: or they have had a meltdown in the supermarket, or
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: they're not sleeping. That's all micro. Those are all micro.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: As you have micro experiences in the workplace you as
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: a journalist, I might spell something wrong, or there's something
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: grammatically incorrect, or I'm trying to get an interview with
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: someone and I don't get it. They're all micro. The
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: macro is that I've loved my journalism career, so having
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: you can. If you take a macro approach to parenting,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it's pulling back out from the micro. So actually draw
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: your lens back out as if you've got a camera
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: on it. Sail above it. Take a bird's eye view
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: on it and think where will this be? You know,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: what was it like for my parents? What was it
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: like when these children potentially do have grandchildren? Just pull
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: back the lens and think what could this be in
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: years to come? I can't you know, even if you
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: can't really envisage it, use your imagination, because there was
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: a reason you had them in the first place, right
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: you didn't just you know, most people would have planned
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: having a child. You would have imagined some kind of magic, okay,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: and the magic that created them. We all know the
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: magic that mostly creates them. Sometimes you know there's other
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: magic either year there's magic too. Try and impart the
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: magic that led you to create them to the magic
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: that you'll end up with in the end, and not
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: just in the end, every year, every day. Some Yeah,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: there might be something hard or something negative, but there's
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: still magic. But I think one of the hardest things
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: is that the negativity and round parenting has grown as
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: we've had dual working parents, and I think so we've
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: lent into that productivity means we do that it's a
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: different lifestyle. We have more kids in childcare. I totally
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: understand all of that, But I wonder if we also
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: think about legacy, Like I know a lot of kids
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: at school, do they do this thing in their later
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: years where they think about what their encourage to think
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: about what their legacy will be. I think your legacy
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: when you're parenting. You know, I've had times when I've
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: given my all to my work, like I'm on a deadline.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Even the other night, my daughter wanted me to watch
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: the NRL with her, and I was trying to deal
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: with something sitting on there and that later that night
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I went, she just really wanted me to watch the
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: footy with her. Why did I not watch the footy
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: with her? I was just thinking I had to deal
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: with this thing right now. I think just sometimes what
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: is what's the end game here? And the end game
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: is that you have these beautiful people in your lives
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: forever more hopefully.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: The key word perspective, Yeah, yeah.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: It is. It really is perspective. And you know, I
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: don't know how we actually do it. I don't know
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: how we sell it, but it feels to me like
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: we need an add campaign around it, just as we
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: did were smoking and seat belts, and if we really
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: want to encourage parenting and look. I did this child
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Free by Choice feature last year, three thousand words for
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Weekend magazine for News Corp. And I was really interested
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: in what all these people had to say. A lot
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: of them was environmental, a lot of them was cost
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: of living issues. I understand that, I do understand how
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: expensive it is, but I wonder whether we were to
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: talk more about that moment when they snuggle into your
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: bed and all the lovely things that you get, you know,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: when they talk to you, if you could record their
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: conversation and listen back to it sometimes, that's so funny.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: My daughter when she was little, when she said, you know,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I was asking about how she was born, and she said,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: you know, when you were pregnant with me, if I
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: did a handstand, if you did a handstand, would you
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: have would I have come out your mouth like that.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: She couldn't conceive of how you could have a baby,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: and you tell me and it not fall out. I
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: just I don't know. I just think there's magic that
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: you don't expect and that we we don't give up
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: on it, but we we forget it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Angela, I want to share a story with you. It's
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: a story that I've shared in my presentations over the years,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: and i'd love to get your reaction to it as
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: we come to a conclusion. The story's actually got nothing
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: to do with parenting. It's a story about a young
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: man who heard about a gold rush in the west,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: so he packed up his things and decided to go
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: and make his fortune. He sat down by the river
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: and he panned day after day after day looking for
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: all of the gold that he was hearing about. Nuggets
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: were apparently rolling down the river, and all he was
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: finding was rocks. He'd pull another rock out the pan
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: and add it to the pile beside him, day after
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: day after day, all of these rocks mounting up beside him,
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: until he's destitute. He's got nothing left, and he knows
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: that he's going to have to go home and ask
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: his parents to take him back so he can start
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: his life all over again, just a lot poorer than
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: he had been before he went out to the goldfields.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: As he was preparing to pack up and leave, an
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: old man, a wealthy prospector walked past him and kicked
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: at the pile of rocks and made the astute comment,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: that's quite a pile of rocks. You've got there, to
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: which the young man responded, there's no gold here, just
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: stupid rocks. I've worked, I've given everything, I've lost everything.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going home. The old man picks up one of
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: the rocks and he cracks it open on the edge
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: of the pan, and as he holds it open, a
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: whole lot of gold flecks glisten, reflecting in the sun.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: And the wise old prospector says, you're sitting on a
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: pile of gold right here. The young man responds, no, no, no, no,
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: no no, I'm not looking for gold flex. I'm looking
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: for nuggets like you've got in your pouch. The old
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: man opens the pouch that's on his belt, and the
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: young man is chagrined, surprised to see that the pouch
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: is ful not of nuggets, but of gold flex, to
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: which the old man responds, young man, it's a steady
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: accumulation of these flecks of gold that has made me rich.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: As I hear you talk about pairenting, needing a PR job,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: and the things that you've shared in this podcast, which
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: have just been beautiful, so heartwarming, my sense is that
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: the best PR job we could have is to notice
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: the thousands of flex of gold that passed by us
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: every single day in the river of family life.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I love that. It's kind of like glimmers, isn't it
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: noticing glimmers. I've saw that that word recently. When something
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: just glimmers it catches your eye. It is not the
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: last very long. It's just a moment. It's just a moment.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Inhabit it, see it, feel it, because that's all we
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: ever have is glimmers it. And you know, there is
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: not some moment that you arrive at some imagine tomorrow
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: that is perfect with you know your child is perfect.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: That's just what life is. It's just this. Parenting is
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to be at the cold face of life,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: doing it beautifully some days and struggling other days, and
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: just in finding it all and wretching. Because if it's
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: all just smooth and even that's not a life, it's
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: never going to be a life. So parenting's the same.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: It's an appreciation that it's going to be. You know,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: it's going to have moments. But as you say, and
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: as that story shows, it's really choosing what you see.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: It's choosing what you notice. And if you choose to
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: notice the negative That's what your story will be. If
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: you choose to notice those little flecks of gold, that's
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: what your story will be.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Parenting needs a pr fix, Angela Mollard. I vote for
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: you as the person to lead the campaign.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Oh like you, Justin Miner are a bit more grown
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: up now, so I'm handing the baton on to the
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: younger parents. But talk about it, talk about the great stuff.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Well, there's something that comes though with being an older
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: parent and having been through it, you can see why
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: it's so worthwhile. And I think you've done a beautiful
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: job articulating that today. Thank you for your article and
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: thanks for chatting with me.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Thanks Justin. It's a pleasure.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Angela Mollard a columnist, journalist, radio, television, magazine and newspaper
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: writer and commentator and all the rest of it. Most
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: regularly with the News Corp papers on a range of topics,
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: including the one that we shouldn't leave alone, parenting. The
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: For more information about finding the joy in parenting, please
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: visit us at Happyfamilies dot com dotu and check out
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: my book What Your Child Needs from You. It is
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: a book. About the joy of parenting, and I think
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: that it will help you to get the reset that
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: you need to make your family happier.