Latest / Let's Get Naked / The Naked Truth: Unpacking Trauma, Sobriety, and Raw Truths From My Past with Anne Karber

Transcript

The Naked Truth: Unpacking Trauma, Sobriety, and Raw Truths From My Past with Anne Karber · Let's Get Naked

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Hi, my name is Brittany, and this is the Let's Get Naked podcast.
0:03
SPEAKER_02: Today we're having our segment of the Naked Truth.
0:07
SPEAKER_02: Here I am with my mother, Ann Carver.
0:10
SPEAKER_02: Hello, Ann.
0:10
SPEAKER_02: How are you doing today?
0:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm so good.
0:12
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for being on my podcast.
0:15
SPEAKER_02: It's lovely to have you.
0:17
SPEAKER_02: Speaking of which, it is your podcast, and we're having a little flipperoo.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to be asking you some potentially uncomfortable questions.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: And I'm hoping that you'll be completely naked with me.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: I mean, honest with me.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: You got it.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: Um, I figured we'd start off with some questions from your followers, people who know you the best and also are curious about more.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, first and foremost, we have Jason Lamar who asked some good questions.
0:43
SPEAKER_02: He wants to know um, so taking one of your least favorite or worst experiences, um, what role did you play in it?
0:51
SPEAKER_02: What did you learn from both the experience and your role in it?
0:54
SPEAKER_02: And do you own that experience?
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so start with the first part of that question so that I can break it down.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: So your least favorite or worst experience.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: So I'm assuming just a time that was bad or unfun.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: Um, and what role did you play in it?
1:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, well, the thing that sticks out to me in my life as the worst uh time or experience was when I got home from rehab and started feeling all the feels.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, all of the uh years of poor decisions kind of came back like a tidal wave and just handed me my ass.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: And so uh that was the worst.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Will you tell me what the follow-up questions were?
1:31
SPEAKER_00: I can't do like three-part questions because then I'm answering one and I'm trying to like, yeah, you know, whatever.
1:35
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, what did you learn from both the experience and your role in it?
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Um what I learned from the experience is uh I would rather do handle mistakes one at a time instead of in a tidal wave.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Um and and my role in it is I'm the one who caused all of my own suffering that led to that.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: So uh that realization and understanding um was powerful.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: It was very, very powerful for me because once you realize and take accountability for that, uh yes, maybe you were the one that did those things, but you can also be the one that that brings the solutions.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: And so for me, that that's the answer for that.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: And it sounds like you do own that experience.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: I I'm a I'm a firm believer in I, you know, if it's fucked up, it's my fault.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And and I think that that radical level of accountability um uh is the answer.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: I really do.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: I think I think once you realize that it doesn't need to be about the blame game of like who did what or what happened to you or whatever, uh, when you come from that place of just savage self-awareness and radical accountability, that's where life starts because you're able to say, okay, that was fucked up, I'm not gonna do that again.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and what was my part to make certain that that doesn't happen again?
2:41
SPEAKER_00: So, yes, lots of accountability uh on my shoulders for those things.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: I I would absolutely agree.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: You you own the shit out of that as comfortable as uncomfortable as it may be.
2:51
SPEAKER_02: You you show up and you fight the good fight.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: So Britney, Brittany's 30 today.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: This was her birthday uh gift.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: She wanted to to uh turn the tables.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, turn turn the tables around and and uh and ask the questions, the naked truth questions to me, which I appreciate.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: But Brittany would have been um 20, 21 when I got sober and I quit drinking.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and so that was it was a it was a thing that I did at full volume and in front of everyone as far as my healing journey was concerned, and it has been a ride with no seatbelts.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: We have another question or two questions, I guess, coming in from Michael Smith 10369.
3:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: How long were you in active addiction?
3:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, I started drinking when I was uh 13 years old that felt uh like home to me.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: It uh I had had some pretty complex um sexual trauma that it just it numbed things out for me and it just felt like things were normal.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: I think, you know, active addiction, um I was always a heavy drinker, but I don't think it really kind of got really bad until the last couple of years.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: Um my sister passed away very unexpectedly uh and suddenly, and I didn't know what to do with that grief.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: And so the last couple of years I would say, uh, but even before that happened, I just remember like I really want to stop drinking, excuse me.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: And uh I knew that it was that it was destroying my life.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: And I just I I couldn't.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: I would get up the next day and be like, okay, today's the day I'm not gonna drink.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: And before you know it, it would be, you know, whatever time, and I've got a drink in my hand again.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, a couple couple of years for sure, maybe, maybe two to four years.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: And it just kept progressively getting worse.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: But I, but I had, you know, my drinking career was um it used to be fun.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, it used to be fun.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my my drinking career was decades.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but then the last, you know, two to two to four or five years were pretty savage.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: When I got rough, yeah, but but I held it, you know, I say I say that, but like I held it together to the point where like I wasn't I wasn't somebody that was, you know, uh I had no idea.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't in the I wasn't in the gutters, I was very functioning, I was still running my business and doing all the things not to that's just for context, not to justify anything.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: But um, you know, from the outside, you wouldn't be like, oh, she's got a drinking problem.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, I worked in construction my whole entire career.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: So like entertaining clients, the guys always thought that was so great that I could hang with them.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: What they didn't realize was that I was drinking to blackout a couple of nights a week just to keep up with them because, you know, I am my size, they are their size, and I would drink IPAs and bottles of wine and just I mean, it was it was a it was not great.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: So, how long did it take you to get completely sober?
5:29
SPEAKER_02: And how many relapses did you experience?
5:31
SPEAKER_00: I uh got completely sober right out of the chute and I and I didn't relapse because for me it was just not an option.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: I I think I think a lot of that stuff is a mindset shift.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I think any anything that we really do in life is a mindset shift of like I just don't drink anymore.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: When I quit smoking a lot of years ago, um same thing.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: I just had to like shift my mindset of I'm not a smoker, I'm not a smoker.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: And so um when I was over in rehab, I uh very much changed my mindset of you're not a drinker anymore.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: You're not a drinker anymore, you do not drink.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: That's not your that's not your vibe.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: And so uh and so I was able to get get sober on the first rehab go-around and uh you know haven't had a drink in nine, nine, and year, nine years and change.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: So very nice.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, congratulations.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: That's a big deal.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is a big deal.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we have another question from Damian King.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: Who or what challenged you the most to let go of, and what did the process teach you?
6:25
SPEAKER_02: Say it.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: Kind of a confusing who wording.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Damien King.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: Who or what challenged you the most to let go of and what did that process teach you?
6:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna kind of answer that in a little bit of a yeah.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: Like I think the things that the the people that challenged me the most were my kids, because I think uh a lot of times people don't realize that we're meant to learn from our children.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: Uh we're not the ones that are in charge in that situation.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: We're meant to learn as much from them as we are to teach them.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I think if if more parents came from that perspective, we would we would really level up collectively.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh so my kids were the were my biggest teachers and my my hardest thing.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: And then what was the second part of the question?
7:05
SPEAKER_02: Um just what challenged you the most to let go of?
7:09
SPEAKER_02: What did the process teach you?
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think I think just my ego, letting my ego get out of the way of I just thought I knew everything and that I've got it under control.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I had all of the the balls juggling in the air.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: And once I kind of realized that wasn't a thing, that was that was the biggest component of it for me.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: So letting getting my ego out of the way and really allowing my my children to be my teachers.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely happy to teach.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know that you are.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, we have uh one last person, uh Keith White has two questions.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: How do you choose your topics?
7:42
SPEAKER_00: And are you a former therapist?
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh I choose my topics by whatever slaps me in the face that that uh time.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: You know, we have people that uh schedule, schedule the show.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, Casey is the one that kind of schedules a lot of the things for the show.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so if it's somebody that reaches out and wants to wants to come share their story, I kind of just lean into what is their vibe.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: The other things that I do as far as like the minis are concerned, it's whatever's on my on my mind or on my heart, you know, when it's time to record.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I very much free ball things and uh and whatever feels like it's right, that's what I go with.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: Uh and I'm not a former therapist.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: I just have a a fuck ton of um of time spent in personal improvement and really knowing that when I am my best version, everyone around me wins, including myself.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and so I just don't make excuses.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: I just dive into whatever that looks like.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: So much so that, you know, with writing the book, it was like I took all of the all of the tools that I had learned over the last eight or nine years and put them through my and filter and and put, you know, pushed them out in a very visual way to be able to help people because I just think there's such a stigma around personal improvement.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: And to me, that just seems like such a waste because you're the one that benefits.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: Your kids are the ones that benefit your family, the people at your table of life are the ones that benefit from you leveling up.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Why would there be a stigma around you working, you know, on yourself?
9:07
SPEAKER_00: You work hard for your boss, you work hard for other people, but like we don't love ourselves to want to put the work into ourselves.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: So absolutely that's a great point to make, true.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: I think I do speak like a therapist.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, I've I've talked, I've talked with, I've had therapists on the show.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've bet I've I've done all the healing modalities, like literally all of the healing modalities that I can even think of.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, and just I pay attention.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm a I'm a good student, and I'm I understand that me and my tribe are the ones that that benefit and level up the more that I work on myself and the better that I get.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: And so um, yeah, so I'm not a therapist, but I do play one in someone else's life every once in a while.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: You definitely have great knowledge, absolutely.
9:45
SPEAKER_02: So that's it from your followers.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: Now on to me.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
9:49
SPEAKER_02: It is my birthday, so I'm gonna be asking some kind of tough questions.
9:53
SPEAKER_02: If you don't want to answer it, too bad.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: Okay, fair enough.
9:56
SPEAKER_02: Fair enough.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: Um, so first and foremost, do you have a favorite kid?
10:01
SPEAKER_02: Be honest.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh God, that's a rough one.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I think I think each of you are my favorites for different things, you know, and that's the truth of it.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Like I will say that Wiley is my easiest kid because he just hasn't given me because he's a boy, and he's you know, he just hasn't given me a lot, you know.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: For uh anyone that knows me, I having girls was hard for me because it's a it's a dynamic that's really challenging to raise uh other girls.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: I I didn't have that, like girly girl, like people know I'm very in my masculine.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: I've been in construction my whole life and like all of the things.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: I was a tomboy when I was younger, and so girls scared the hell out of me, and I didn't know what to do with that.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Also, uh I did not have my emotions in check and you know, in any capacity.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: And so with girls, there's a lot of just other dynamics.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: And so for from the easiest part of it, it's Wiley for sure.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: But like from the Emily makes me laugh like crazy.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: Like her light is just amazing, and you just have this um aura about you that is just lovely, you know, and so like just spending time with you makes me feel comfortable.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: So it's just you all have different, I don't have like, oh, this one's my favorite.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: I do appreciate the question though.
11:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel like we're three pillars, you know, like each of us is so unique.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: You're very, you're very different.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're very different.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: So there's no, there's no way to put that into to like this one.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: So I'm the favorite, perfect.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, and what's your biggest regret as a mom?
11:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't have regrets.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh I have zero regrets.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: No regrets.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: I I don't, you know, and I think I think uh, you know, are there things that I look back at and cringe?
11:27
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: Are there things that I've done wrong?
11:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I have truckloads of of examples of things that I did wrong.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I take accountability for those things on the daily.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, I tell, I tell the kiddos and I tell the people of my life, I live and amends every day for just the asshole that I used to be.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: And I not that I'm not an asshole anymore, I'm still an asshole.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: But now it's more fun, just a different asshole.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: But um, but I don't have regrets.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I don't live this life with regrets.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: It's like everything that has um that has transpired, all of my decisions and everything that has happened before today has led me to where I am.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: So no regrets.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't make them.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
12:04
SPEAKER_02: All right.
12:04
SPEAKER_02: So now there's some money-focused questions since I know you're a baller.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, what's the most expensive thing you've ever bought just because you wanted it?
12:14
SPEAKER_02: My ring.
12:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, show it, show it.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Bling bling.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: I bought my own ring because it's um this is you know, six years ago or something, but uh, we had sold our main business and I just killed myself for years to to grow that and to to come from nothing.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, my ring was definitely a big, a big purchase that I spent a lot of time thinking about.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: Good.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: No, you earned it.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I did.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, so when people look at it and like, oh, your man takes care of you, I was like, nah, bitch, I take care of me.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Like nothing.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: Nothing against my man, but like that doesn't work like that.
12:45
SPEAKER_02: No, hey, yeah, that's right.
12:47
SPEAKER_02: I'm such a power couple, you know.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: But I do, I love to see that you take care of yourself like that.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: And do you think money changed you?
12:53
SPEAKER_02: A hundred percent.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, easily, yeah.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: Easily, and also that was the goal.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I grew up very, very poor.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: I I grew up to where I was embarrassed, uh embarrassed, like embarrassed of my upbringing.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and so I was very money focused because money looked like freedom to me.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, so the pendulum swung way too far back the other direction.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: And I realized that looking back and kind of doing inventory because I put that over things that I shouldn't have.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, when I was building the business, you know, our first main business and side hustles and just hustling so hard, uh, I did that at your guys' expense as kiddos.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: Um I I did not make you my priority.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: I made money my priority because I thought that that was freedom and I wanted to be able to give you guys anything that you asked for.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: And in in allowing you guys to teach me and and having conversations, important conversations where you guys said we would really would have just rather had you.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: Um that's that's a tough pill to swallow.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: And also, um again, no regrets.
13:53
SPEAKER_00: Like it is what it is.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: I've also never been in poverty.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm I'm here now, you know, I'm here now, and uh and I plug into you guys hard and you guys know that now.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like it's nice to have my eyes open to that and to realize that my family is so much more important than money ever was.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: But I just didn't, you know, I I grew up so poor that it was just like I can't, I can't imagine doing this.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: I had goals that I've met and exceeded, and it that was important to me.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: So it's good to be able to spend time with you now, definitely.
14:19
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, to see you have achieved all of your dreams and to continue to be amazing and reach new frontiers.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: I think money changed you, but not for the worst.
14:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
14:30
SPEAKER_02: What is something you spend way too much money on?
14:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh this show.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: But you know, for saving the world, you know, it's like the word out.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: People don't realize I I think um, you know, when you do the show, when you do the book, when you I do the and project, which is a global movement that I'm starting, uh, that's my skin in the game.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: That's my money.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: I spend a fuck ton of money on that uh because because my heart hurts for where the the planet is right now.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: I think you know, society and collectively we're in really bad shape.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: And so I spend an obscene amount of money on on doing my part, I think, to kind of get my message out there.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a lovely thing.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, exactly, admirable way to spend it.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: So you know what?
15:11
SPEAKER_00: It's I I think the ultimate flex is is uh the quantity of people that you're able to have an impact on.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: It's not the fancy car that you drive or the big house that you live in.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: It's how many people did you positively impact.
15:23
SPEAKER_00: And uh and I'm on a fucking mission from now until the time that uh that you guys put me in the ground uh to have as big of an impact as I possibly can.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: And what I will say is I'm a giant cannonballer, uh, and everybody should be fucking scared.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm coming for you.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm coming for you in the in the most amazing positive way.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I love to see it.
15:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's very impressive.
15:42
SPEAKER_02: Um, this is kind of a funny one.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: Who do you think spends more money?
15:47
SPEAKER_02: You or Cameron?
15:48
SPEAKER_02: Cameron, 100%.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: The professional bass fisherman, you know, that's a boats and gear.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: There's boxes that show up all the time on stuff.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, I shouldn't say, I shouldn't say 100% camera.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: It's probably me with you know pretty cool.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: We we we do our things that you know, we're not into like fancy jewelry or you know, clothes or fancy cars or anything like that, but um, but we like we play hard.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: We play hard.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: Experience, yeah.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: We play hard.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: It's close, yeah.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden I'm like starting to do the inventory.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, all that might be me.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: That's funny.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, and this one I feel like the answer is obvious, but I do just want to ask you do you think it's easier to be happy when you have money?
16:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think for sure.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: I think I'd be an asshole if I said anything different than that.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, I live with both.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that you can't be happy without money because I do think happiness is a choice.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and and I spent a lot of years doing the whole, I'll be happy when, you know, I'll be happy when I make six figures, I'll be happy when I have this, or I'll be happy when I have that.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and the thing that I will always say to people that that, you know, think that have that mentality is I got to all of those things.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: I checked all of the boxes of where happiness was supposed to live, and I've never been more miserable in my life.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: So I don't think money equals happiness, um, but I do think it's definitely easier.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, that helps when you can afford things.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: It helps when you're not worrying about where groceries are coming from.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: But I've lived, I've lived the whole game, you know.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: I had I had you on access.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I had the opposite of money for a long time.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: I I I clawed to get to where I am today, and I'm very proud of proud of that.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: And and uh and will not dampen my success down to make other people comfortable anymore.
17:28
unknown: Good.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you should enough to get back to your addiction.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
17:34
SPEAKER_02: And again, you don't have a choice.
17:36
SPEAKER_02: I understand.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: No, listen, I'm I'm gonna take a drink of I'm gonna take a sip.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: Just no no judgment, you know.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm very proud of you for where you are today.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, but what's the worst thing that you ever did when you were drinking?
17:47
SPEAKER_02: Aside from abandoning me.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh probably drove loaded with the kids in the car.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: Mom, inappropriate.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: No shit.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: No shit.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, like we made it though.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh it wasn't that wasn't a regular thing, but I just remember thinking like you're a horrible person.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, and there were listen, the list was long.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: That that to me, jeopardizing jeopardizing your safety uh is is uh unacceptable.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: Being being the person that I was, um, just as far as an example is concerned.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't an angry drunk, I was a fun drunk, and all of the things, but like that's not a great example to send to your kids.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: Um and so so yeah, those are not those are not things I'm proud of.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: There's a whole long list, but those are the things that I'm the least proud of.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: Like that's that's hard to own.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: It's hard to own, and also that's why I'm here.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you being honest.
18:41
SPEAKER_02: Um and kind of a weird question.
18:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, did you ever hide any alcohol from Cameron?
18:48
SPEAKER_00: No, I didn't have to.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean you were both fun.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Like it wasn't a problem until it was.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's funny because I think even Cameron uh didn't understand the level, but I had gotten to where I was um, you know, my sleep number was a couple of bottles of wine and a couple Xanax, and uh that's fucking dangerous.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a thing people don't wake up from all the time.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: Uh I had a refrigerator in my office that was you know loaded with beer, but it was like that's just normal.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Like it was like it was really casual with how we did it because it was just in the industry where everyone drank all the time.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: It was like a certain time of day, everyone cracks beers, I would get to where I would pour roadies uh to drive home.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: Like that's disgusting.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't it wasn't five o'clock.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it just disgusting behavior.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't like drinking in the morning or like you know, had a bottle of booze in my in my um in my drawer or anything, but uh but I didn't have to because it was just so common.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: We were just heavy drinkers, and so it Yeah, didn't even think twice.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Everyone drank, it just was everything around, but it just was not a good look.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: And how much were you drinking at your worst?
19:52
SPEAKER_02: You're saying multiple two bottles of wine and some Xanax.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: I put away, you know, eight, ten, twelve IPAs.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: That's IPAs are heavy fucking uh can't even tolerate those.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: Two bottles of wine and a six pack of Miller Light and a couple of Xana.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's enough.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: Easy, right?
20:09
SPEAKER_00: Like you're I can't even fathom I would be blacked out after the first bottle.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, well, I'm gonna start drinking uh, you know, then I switched to vodka drinks, you know, and it's like, oh, that I'll be a classier drunk so that I'm not drinking 12 beers, you know.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: Uh and that's not a good look either.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, because vodka is a whole fucking different, different beast.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: And so uh yeah, it wasn't it wasn't a great look.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I could drink my share.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: I I saved a bunch of fucking money.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: I paid I paid for rehab and I did not go to a shitty one.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: I paid for a rehab in the matter of months for what I saved on the booze.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Wow, yeah, kind of impressive.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: It's not a flex.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: It's not a flex.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: Like I say that because it is just facts, but it's it's uh it's savage.
20:52
SPEAKER_02: Incredibly so.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Uh who knew how bad it really was?
20:57
SPEAKER_00: I think Belinda knew how bad it really was.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: My Bethie.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: I think she knew she was the one who planted the seed of you know, if if I were ever to go to a rehab, she did that a couple weeks before I ever went to rehab, and uh she was like, here, look at this, and and whatever, but it made it very easy for me the morning that I woke up and I knew I couldn't do it anymore uh to pick up the phone and call that place.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: And and I got on a plane that day and and was over there.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: So that's a big deal.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: It's a huge deal.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that she was there for you.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that she was paying attention and had the balls to say something because in my previous life, I did not allow people to speak to me the way that I'm allowing you to speak to me uh because of my ego, not because of I just wasn't open.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: I just thought I was the one that had control over everything and I knew what was best, and you couldn't tell me shit about nothing.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh and and what a what a sad way to live.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: It's incredible to see how far you've come.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: And you let me talk shit to you all the time.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: I know.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: It's funny because I was talking to somebody and I was like, I look back 10 years ago and I don't recognize that hand.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: And that's the biggest compliment I can ever have because uh I think we're all meant to grow.
21:59
SPEAKER_00: That's what you're supposed to do.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: To be doing if you're in this hamster wheel where you're just living the same life on you know the same year on repeat, do something different.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: It's not how it's supposed to be.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, because there's no pinnacle, you should continue to grow until the day you die.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: 100% always be striving for better.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: I'm thirsty.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and you always get better.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: Truly a final.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: And I will continue to do so, right?
22:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's just nothing is off limits.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm open to feedback.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I don't get defensive.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: I realize that the people that I have at my table of life are are here and they ride hard for me, and I write hard for them.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: And so it's a really lovely uh life that I've architected.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
22:32
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: Um I don't know that you really did a lot of lying, but was there anyone that you lied to the most?
22:40
SPEAKER_02: Cameron.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: Truly.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: I would think yourself, but Cameron.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: I didn't I didn't know the truth to tell myself or not tell myself.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: That's fine.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: And okay, then yeah, what finally made you stop was you think Ansie Belinda kind of giving that nudge and that.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't do it anymore.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: I was, I was doing things that were out of character for who I was as a person.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just you you get into the space where where's the end?
23:07
SPEAKER_00: You just keep spiraling down, spiraling down, spiraling down, and you're doing things that it's like, oh my God, you know, the it little voice inside of me would be like, what are you doing?
23:16
SPEAKER_00: And then it was like I just felt so empty that I didn't have a choice.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: I would be back doing the exact same things of just trying to fill my cup or have, you know, validation with crumbs to try to make me feel whole.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: I was just such a, I was a, I was a shell of a person.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: I was a shell of a human being.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, your Aunt Maureen's death wrecked me.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: It fucking wrecked me to my core.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I hadn't talked to her for a year and a half before she passed because she was just living this life that I couldn't get my head around, I couldn't be part of.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: And so then I just started blaming myself because I couldn't save her.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, I had this whole thing where I just tried for years to get her out of the stuff that she was into.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I and I couldn't do it, and I felt like a failure.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: And then when she passed, it was just like I couldn't, I couldn't get my head around it.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: And I had uh the lowest level of of EQ that you can even imagine.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: I just didn't know what to do with grief.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what to do with anything.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: And so I just destroyed my life.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: It destroyed my family.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was a really rough time.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: It was, it was, I look back and I wince.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: It was savage.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Thank God we're not there anymore.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, amen.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: Do you ever still want to drink?
24:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, no, I don't.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't have that.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: I just don't have that.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: I I feel like I literally changed that mindset for myself.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't that when I first came home from rehab that I didn't, you know, I've had times over the years, but it's been nine years and and I've and I've hung out with enough people who are drinking where it's just like it's not a good look.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: No judgment, but I I know what that felt like being in it, and it's like sure it's fun, but I have more fun not drinking now.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: So it's like I don't look back and go like, you know, I miss it.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't, I don't, you know, I don't miss it.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: I know what that looks like, and I'm I'm all set.
24:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Good.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: Good.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm happy to hear that.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me too.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to say that.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Happy to report that.
24:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a big deal.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:58
SPEAKER_02: All right, we're moving on to another topic.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I can't wait.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: So this is kind of ego, jealousy, icky feelings.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
25:08
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever secretly wanted someone to fail?
25:11
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
25:13
SPEAKER_02: Say less.
25:15
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been happy when someone you didn't like failed?
25:18
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
25:18
SPEAKER_02: I know these are, I don't even know.
25:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm asking.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: No, I mean asking, yeah, this is normal.
25:22
SPEAKER_02: This is what you judge people for.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, now I don't judge people for anything, but before I used to judge people for everything.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I didn't realize that um, God, we were so judgmental.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: I used to be so fucking judgmental.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize that judgment is an inside job, right?
25:39
SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize that in order to fix being judgmental, I had to stop being judgmental of myself.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: And that's literally where that is because I worked on trying not to be judgmental for years before it hit me, either in therapy or something that I was doing, and I don't even remember.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: It's been several years ago.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it was like you have to be able to show yourself compassion and love and all of those things.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: And when you do that, when you can really like start working that and get a handle on it, the rest of it just falls away.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, I have this really beautiful uh woman in my life named Connie, and um, she's Cameron's second mom and just such a beautiful woman.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: And when we were up there last time, she was telling me about a way that she um used as a trick for judgment, which I just thought was very fascinating.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: When she sees somebody that she wants to like her when her insides come from this judgmental place looking at them, she just says tree because it reminds her that we're all in this beautiful forest and we're all our individual trees.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: And some trees are bigger and smaller and weird and awkward and like all of the different things, and how beautiful that is because we all make up the forest together.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: And so, um, and so I use that.
26:41
SPEAKER_00: I put that in the book for her uh to pay homage to her.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and yeah, so I don't I don't have a judgmental bone in my body anymore, but from such a beautiful place because it's like I've been in the trenches in this life, I understand I have been that judgmental asshole, and it was mainly because I was so judgmental to myself and just didn't realize it.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: My ego wouldn't let me see that that's what I was even doing.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:03
SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah, if you're so busy about everybody else, you don't even realize you're in the world.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: You don't even realize that it just, you know, judgment, judgment screams insecurity.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's what's so funny to me because it's like when you have these women that are out there, you know, acting like they're still in high school and they're judging everybody, it's like, sister, that's a megaphone with your insecurities on fucking blast.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: And if you realize that that's what that look was, that that's what that looks like to people on the outside, you might want to invest in uh a little self-love and a little self-compassion so that you can work through that because it's a nasty fucking thing and it does not look good on 40 and 50 year olds or 30 year olds or 20 year olds.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: Like no one, but it's like it's very like high school behavior, I think.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: It's that mean girl.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and and women that don't know how to stand up to that just fall into it.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: And it's like if you don't stand up to it, you're just as responsible as the one that leads the charge.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: So that's my opinion.
27:49
SPEAKER_02: Very well said.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: Um energy is everything, and most of us are spending it like drunk gamblers at a Vegas blackjack table.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: My book is built around one simple but powerful tool: quantifying your energy so you know exactly where it's going and how to get more of it back.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Think of it as a manual for your sold fuel tank.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: If you're tired of running on empty, this book will show you how to fill back up and keep yourself in the game long enough to actually win.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: Get your copy of the Life Hack playbook on Amazon or on the podcast website, let's get nakedpodcast.com.
28:31
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever pretended to like someone?
28:33
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
28:34
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever talked shit about someone and then acted nice to their face?
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh God.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh not that I can remember.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm pr I'm a pretty open, I'm a pretty shit.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm a pretty straight shooter.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Like I'll say all sorts of shit to your face.
28:48
SPEAKER_00: There are people that don't want to be confrontational, and I'm just the opposite.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like uh when I've when I've ended relationships in my friend group, people, you know, people are like, just, you know, go away quietly and ghost them.
28:59
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, no, no, we sit down and have a conversation.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: We have an exit interview in my fucking friend group.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like this is what's not working, uh, you know, whatever.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: And then I just keep it tight so that I don't have to mess around with doing all of that.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: It's a lot of work.
29:11
SPEAKER_02: So um what's the meanest thing you've ever done on purpose?
29:17
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: That's a really good one.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm not really a mean-spirited person.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a mean-spirited person.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: I never have been, so I don't know that I have an answer for that.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, pulled a pin out of something to let the dominoes fall.
29:44
SPEAKER_02: No, that seems gross.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: That seems like karma that I don't want on my hands.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: So I I I'll I'll chew on that.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: And if I do come up with it, I'll let you know because I'm definitely happy to be honest about that.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: But I'm just not a mean-spirited person like that.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: Now that I'm like saying I don't come from that place.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: I understand that like everybody can win.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: I understand that I don't I don't need to step on other people to you're not petty at all.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: No, I just I just don't come from that place.
30:05
SPEAKER_02: I feel like you understand that, yeah, if somebody messes something up, like you know, karma will take care of the I don't have to worry about it, right?
30:11
SPEAKER_00: It's like I I really, I really don't, you know, may maybe just thoughts in my head about um the the the guy that I hold responsible for my sister's death.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, that's mean stuff, but I never acted on any of that.
30:22
SPEAKER_00: But you would never do anything.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Right.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: There was too many things that I wanted to stay out of jail for.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: So I appreciate that.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
30:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, and one more question about your ego.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:33
SPEAKER_02: What's something you're a total hypocrite about?
30:36
SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
30:36
unknown: What is something I'm totally a hypocrite about?
30:40
SPEAKER_00: I used to be a hypocrite about a lot of things.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: Uh and not you've done a lot of growth.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: I have, and and and not, and not even realized it, right?
30:47
SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, the hypocritical thing is like telling people, you know, whatever, and then doing the exact same thing, but just not even realizing it.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: Um little lane staying, maybe.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh God.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, in my house we have a we chapter 10, stay in your own lane, or maybe chapter nine, I don't remember.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: Uh staying in your own line is a big thing that I preach to people.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes I swerve out real hard on other people.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's probably the biggest thing that I'm that I'm just simple little things though.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: It is.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, my problem is like I have all of this stuff, right?
31:18
SPEAKER_00: I have all of this knowledge and all of this stuff that I've worked on the last, you know, eight or nine years.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and I just want to share it with people real bad.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: And I and I know that that's very Karen behavior.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, I gotta stay back in my lane because I don't want to tell people their business.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: And also I do want to advertise that I have a lot of resources at my fingertips and I'm and I'm all ears for people that are looking for solutions.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: So invite me into your lane and I'll come share the things.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: But if not, I try to stay to my own lane, but I'm not always successful.
31:45
SPEAKER_02: I feel like part of that too is you being a mom and you know, you just want the best for your kids and you know, you have a lot of people.
31:51
SPEAKER_02: It is hard though.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: It is hard, but then also teaching your kids to help you stay in your own lane, right?
31:55
SPEAKER_00: So it's like I don't get defensive when people are like, hey, lane check.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, you're right, I'm way out of my own lane in that one.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: And then also I'll correct and get back in my own lane.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: I don't get defensive and go, uh uh, I just exactly don't do that.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: It's like I I take my own advice when it comes to all of the things that are that are in the book and and all the things that I lead with.
32:12
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, no, definitely.
32:14
SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, I wouldn't even say you're a hypocrite.
32:16
SPEAKER_02: It's just every now and then you you care more than you need to.
32:20
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
32:21
SPEAKER_02: That's really sweet.
32:22
SPEAKER_02: Heard.
32:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so here's something that you might not necessarily want to tell me.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
32:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, what's something you've never told your kids?
32:37
SPEAKER_00: You've told us you love us, so something I've never told my kids.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: Probably just the extent of what my childhood was like.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: I've heard snippets here and there, but I do believe you have more trauma than you've let on.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: And I and I just don't think I don't think there's value in doing that.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: And so um, you know, I've shared the things that I feel like are important and uh and I will keep the other things um I don't even hold on to them.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: Like I've I've released that stuff, but it's just not there's no value in sharing stuff.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm not learning anything new about you to hear about you.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: It's like it was fucked up.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: Right, it's fucked up.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: It's good to know.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: Right.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you the things that I feel like I need to to help keep you guys safe and to um, you know, that are worthwhile that there's value in.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: Everything else doesn't matter.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: I do feel like you kind of protect us a bit in that 100%.
33:36
SPEAKER_02: Where it is, like you've you've been through so many things that I can only imagine.
33:40
SPEAKER_02: No one needs to know any of that.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to know.
33:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:44
SPEAKER_02: But I'm happy you're you're through it and better for it.
33:47
SPEAKER_02: Maybe not better for it.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: That's better for it for sure.
33:49
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I come from a place where um when fucked up things happen to me, I'm grateful for them.
33:54
SPEAKER_00: Even even still, even today, it's like doesn't matter, you know, what the things are because I believe that uh that's where the growth happens.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: I believe that if you don't have hard things to challenge you, there's no growth there.
34:04
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like I look at my childhood and I look at things that that happened, and it's like, I'm a fucking badass because of going through those things and really being able to have those to work with to get me to where I am today.
34:15
SPEAKER_00: So when people are scared to look under the rug about, you know, or look under the bed at the monsters of what happened during their childhood, or they're not willing to kind of unpack that, it's like, no, unpack that.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: That's the shit that makes you as strong as fuck.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: That's the shit that makes you a bad motherfucker.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because otherwise you carry it and it's always there.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, yeah.
34:32
SPEAKER_02: I think about that was that one ad that came out recently of like Apple, where they have like somebody hanging on their back and they're like, oh, don't let the privacy guys, you know, creep on you.
34:43
SPEAKER_02: It's like that's the same way of holding on to trauma from your past.
34:46
SPEAKER_02: What a great visual.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: They're just hanging on you.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: They are, they are.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: They're slowing you down.
34:51
SPEAKER_00: You don't even realize they're anchors that are that are flying behind you.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: It's like, deal with that shit, deal with that shit, process it, and get it the fuck out.
34:58
SPEAKER_00: You know, I work with a lot of uh a lot of Gen X dudes that are like, I'm fine, I'm fucking tough, I'm you know, like whatever.
35:04
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, until you see that red truck drive by and you're triggered by the experience with your dad.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: Just send me just send me a message.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: Email us at ladies that's right.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: We'll we'll get naked and get you on the on your right way.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: So no, definitely.
35:19
SPEAKER_02: And um it's kind of a silly one.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: Uh what's the worst rumor you've heard about yourself?
35:25
unknown: Oh god.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's funny because I'll true.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: Well, they I'm a very strong believer in your opinion of me.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: It's none of my business.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: No, and I I don't need that shit in my head, right?
35:38
SPEAKER_00: I I uh so I don't know that I've you know, rumors that were true, right?
35:44
SPEAKER_00: Like when I was drinking really hard, it was like Anne's a drunk.
35:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, I'm not.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: I look back, I'm like, yeah, I was.
35:50
SPEAKER_00: Uh so so you know, I I don't think I've ever heard a rumor where I look back and go, that was terrible.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: People can make up whatever they want about me.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't hurt my feelings.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like I have to explain myself or go like um answer everyone's um misunderstanding about who I am.
36:05
SPEAKER_00: I I don't give a fuck.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
36:07
SPEAKER_02: I truly feel it.
36:08
SPEAKER_02: And you keep good people around.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, zero fucks given.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: It's like if you want to talk about it, then enjoy that.
36:13
SPEAKER_00: Like you're welcome.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if you're not gonna talk to me directly, there's no point.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Talk about whatever you want, make up whatever you want.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: In my head, it's like I'm holding the paintbrush, so why would I paint it like people don't like me?
36:24
SPEAKER_00: I just assume everyone likes me.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I'm not a ding-dong.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: I realize that everyone doesn't.
36:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm an acquired taste.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, but why would I hold the paintbrush and say, like, I think people don't like me?
36:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, no, I'm a fucking badass.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: Everyone likes me.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: That's how I paint it.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: That's a great way to think about it.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, you know, people that get all twisted up about like, what did so-and-so think?
36:41
SPEAKER_00: Or what did someone?
36:42
SPEAKER_00: That's none of your business.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: What other people's opinion of you is is none of your goddamn business.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: So leave it alone.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: Leave it alone.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: Don't even spend any energy on that whatsoever.
36:50
SPEAKER_00: Because who cares?
36:51
SPEAKER_00: What's the worst that's gonna happen?
36:52
SPEAKER_00: No one likes you.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then what fucking happened?
36:54
SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna change what I'm doing in my life.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm convicted and I feel like I'm doing the you know, my my purpose.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: People don't like that.
37:01
SPEAKER_00: Change the fucking channel.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
37:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, only you have you too impressed.
37:07
SPEAKER_02: I show off for myself all the time.
37:10
SPEAKER_02: Just imagining you like peacocking in front of the mirror.
37:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, fuck.
37:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, like confidence comes from doing things.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: I've done a lot of things, I have a lot of confidence.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, okay, however you want to say that.
37:23
SPEAKER_00: I I I've honed it to where it's not like vanity the way that it used to be.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: I've honed it to where it's not like feeding my ego.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: But it's like if I don't give myself credit for the things that I've done, like I had to work through a couple of years ago not feeling like I was enough.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: I got to a place where I was a 45-year-old woman that couldn't say I am enough without my voice shaking because I just had so many years of just not feeling like, right?
37:44
SPEAKER_00: With the conditioning and the programming and all of the things, I did a lot of stuff to get to the point where I know that I'm enough.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: And fuck yeah, I got my peacock feathers out in front of the mirror.
37:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm fucking doing anything.
37:54
SPEAKER_00: I dance all the time, I have a good time.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm living my best life.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: I do it for me.
38:00
SPEAKER_00: It's not, it's not for anybody else.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: I do it for me.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: I do the things that I'm convicted and called to do.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: The rest of it, let the chips fall where they may.
38:07
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
38:08
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
38:08
SPEAKER_02: Truly.
38:10
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so speaking about your body, okay, great, and your appearance, appearance, appearance, appearance.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: Um again, you have to answer.
38:22
SPEAKER_02: No problem.
38:22
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to tell me everything.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: Okay, but have you had work done?
38:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I have.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: I had uh implants twice.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: I've had them taken out.
38:31
SPEAKER_00: I had my implants taken out three years ago, so I no longer have implants, but I did have that done twice.
38:37
SPEAKER_00: Um I I used to get Botox, I don't anymore.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you had Botox?
38:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh in 2025.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's enough where I wear enough hats, right?
38:47
SPEAKER_00: Because I always was like, okay, because the forehead is my is my thing that bothers me.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: And so um, and so it was either gonna be bangs or hats.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: And Antie began to talk me into bangs.
38:58
SPEAKER_00: Anyone who needs a look at what that looks like, look, go back to an older episode.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: It's terrible.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh so hats it is, but uh, I don't want to pump shit in my face anymore because I feel like, you know, especially with this getting naked and being vulnerable and all the things, um, I want to show other women that it's okay to age and to do that on on a platform and on a stage.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, do I get comments from people in the shitty comments in the section about like who is this old fucking woman that you know hag whatever?
39:27
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't bother me.
39:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, I get it.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: Great, great job.
39:29
SPEAKER_00: I guess I triggered something in you and you don't know how to work through it.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, like whatever.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: So it's a gift to get older.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't, it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore.
39:38
SPEAKER_00: I've worked through that.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: That was part of doing this show, is like I'm not going to be this person that sits up here and goes, like, let me see the picture when someone takes a picture or like, oh, make sure it I don't fucking care.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: My message is too important, and so I just don't come from that place.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm really happy that that's something that I've fixed.
39:51
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so those are those are the things.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: Appreciate you doing that.
39:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
39:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you're beautiful.
39:59
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I used to, I mean, I had a lot, I had I had giant jugs for 16 years.
40:02
SPEAKER_00: They they served me well.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: I I fucking worked the shit out of those.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: I really did.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: But you know, I don't think I could do the work and the connection with people that I do now if I still had those because it was a big barrier.
40:13
SPEAKER_00: Well, you don't even realize like that's you know, they were three pounds.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: That's on your heart, on your chest, yeah, on all of the things.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: And it's like yeah, exactly.
40:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, they were huge.
40:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go back and take a look, you know, find an old picture of me.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: Jesus, Judas, Jesus, Judas.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, so yeah, I had fun with those, and and then it was time to hang them up.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: And I feel much and I feel, you know, here's the PSA that that is.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: It's like I feel so much better not having plastic in my body.
40:38
SPEAKER_02: Um, because weren't you experiencing health problems with that?
40:41
SPEAKER_02: I was.
40:42
SPEAKER_02: So it is like the stuff went away when you had them removed.
40:44
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: So 100%.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: It's very freeing to get to this place where I don't feel like I need to have the nails and the extensions and the pump shit in my face and like all of the things.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: It's like, I feel like that's a very sick game of trying to keep up with the Joneses.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: And women are just terrible to one another, anyways.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: So it's like, why are you doing all of those things just so other women can judge you?
41:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, do whatever makes you happy, let the chips fall where they may.
41:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: Right.
41:10
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to do much to be happy in your own skin.
41:13
SPEAKER_02: And it is the keeping up with the Joneses is so unnecessary.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: It's overplayed.
41:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like, you know, when we started this show, um, one of the gals that was on staff at the at the company that I have is uh was a well used to be a hair and makeup gal.
41:26
SPEAKER_00: And so uh I had her doing my hair and makeup for like the first six months of the show, and I've just never felt more inauthentic in my life because I just I'm not a makeup girl, I never have been.
41:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh and so I look back at those those shows and I'm just like, oh God.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: I just I just I'm not.
41:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm a I'm a I'm a tomboy and I enjoy it that way.
41:43
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm happy, I'm happy in my own skin right now, and even without Botox and even without all the things.
41:48
SPEAKER_02: So I feel that.
41:49
SPEAKER_02: No, you're truly glowing.
41:51
SPEAKER_02: You've never been better.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: I agree, I agree.
41:55
SPEAKER_02: All right.
41:56
SPEAKER_02: So since you are so comfortable, what are you most insecure about physically?
42:03
SPEAKER_00: Probably my thighs.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, I it used to bother me uh when I had you guys as kids that's I got pregnant in my in my thighs.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: That's where I gained the most weight, and so I have stretch marks and stuff.
42:16
SPEAKER_00: And so it just it has bothered me.
42:18
SPEAKER_00: And I I just have gotten to a place in the last couple years where I don't let it bother me anymore.
42:22
SPEAKER_00: But that's that's the thing that that jumps out at me is the thighs.
42:27
SPEAKER_00: You look beautiful.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: It's because I have my pants on.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: It's the oh my gosh, stop.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: So like the tiger stripes.
42:34
SPEAKER_02: Have you heard that?
42:35
SPEAKER_00: I have, yeah, I have, you know, and that's that's the whole thing is like I have I have stretch marks on my ass and on my thighs, and it's um they're not bad, they're just they bother me.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: And it it's only it's only bothersome if you allow it to.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: So get get the mental strength and understand that you rock that shit, and then let's let's keep it pushing.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: So absolutely, yeah.
42:54
SPEAKER_02: I know, and it and that's your body just changing to accommodate carrying a baby, like it's incredibly a huge feat to hold a baby inside of you.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, and women are so critical of ourselves.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not coming from a place of judgment.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: I spent a lot of years in that.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: But when you get comfortable in your own skin and you just understand that my body has done uh so many great, amazing things, it has gotten me to where I am right now.
43:15
SPEAKER_00: I just want to love the shit out of it.
43:17
SPEAKER_00: All the parts, everything things that I love, things that I don't love.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, this is this is who I am and what has gotten me to this place.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: And so I love that my mind is strong enough to be able to do that.
43:27
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: Are you scared of getting old?
43:32
SPEAKER_00: Uh no, I'm not.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm not scared of getting old.
43:35
SPEAKER_00: I uh I love it.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: I I feel like I'm getting better, you know, every day that goes by because I just constantly am working on myself and and um and my soul is is full.
43:46
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm just I'm the work that I'm doing, the impact that I have on other people, listening to them say uh share with me their stories and the things that that have impacted them, it's it's an honor, and it doesn't make me sad.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Scared of getting old.
44:01
SPEAKER_02: I think it helps that you take care of yourself too.
44:03
SPEAKER_02: You're not just letting age happen to you.
44:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:07
SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to keep moving.
44:08
SPEAKER_00: I dance.
44:08
SPEAKER_00: I, you know, like all of the things, I take care of my body because I want it to last as long as it can.
44:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, but it doesn't scare me to get old.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: I'd like my body to move, you know, the way that it did when I was 20, and I didn't know better, but took it for granted back then and also whatever.
44:23
SPEAKER_00: I've wasted.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was talking to Cameron the other day, and it was like, what version of my body do I like the best over the years?
44:29
SPEAKER_00: And I would say the one that I'm in right now.
44:31
SPEAKER_00: And so that feels like a a huge win.
44:33
SPEAKER_02: That's about us.
44:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: Seriously.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: Feels like it.
44:35
SPEAKER_02: It feels like it.
44:35
SPEAKER_02: So I don't think many people can say that.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: Agreed.
44:38
SPEAKER_02: It's really cool to hear you say it.
44:39
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: And um man, I don't even want to ask that question.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: You don't want to ask that question.
44:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, do you compare yourself to other women?
44:50
SPEAKER_02: Like, no, that's nope.
44:51
SPEAKER_02: That's not a thing.
44:52
SPEAKER_00: Comparison game to me is a is a no-win situation.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: And I think I think I think if more people really kind of understood that from the just the the common sense perspective, if you compare yourself and you're a cupcake, you're a beautiful cupcake.
45:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, if you compare yourself to a wedding cake, you're gonna feel not good.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: But it's like you're still a cupcake.
45:11
SPEAKER_00: So, like enjoy the goodness that you are and don't look around at other people.
45:15
SPEAKER_00: You don't know what what ingredients went into their recipe.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, they have a whole different set of things.
45:20
SPEAKER_00: I know it's like they have a whole different set of things that they're working with, and so it's like, especially in social media, that's why I hate social media so much.
45:26
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's terrible for young girls.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: They're looking at somebody else's highlight rail with filters, and then they look in their own mirror, and of course they're gonna not feel great about themselves because they don't understand the no comparison thing.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: So for me, it's like women are beautiful in all of their glory, and uh, and I celebrate that all day long.
45:43
SPEAKER_00: And it there's no comparison.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: I am who I am.
45:46
SPEAKER_00: There's only one of me.
45:47
SPEAKER_00: God, God broke the mold after this one, and same with everyone else.
45:51
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, rock what you got.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: Tree, right?
45:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, exactly.
45:55
SPEAKER_00: That's such a beautiful analogy.
45:56
SPEAKER_00: It is, I love Connie so much.
45:57
SPEAKER_00: It's like every time I even it even starts to come in a little bit, tree.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: And then it just, it just, it's like a it's like it just checks you.
46:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just like a quick little bitch slap of like you don't have any business judging anybody else, right?
46:09
SPEAKER_00: You're just you're just one of many out here doing your life.
46:11
SPEAKER_00: So focus on the tree.
46:14
SPEAKER_02: I when I went to that music festival just a month ago, um, like being in the forest, and and everybody is so unique, you've got all ages, everybody's dressed to whatever people full glam, people like just walking it out, and it is so beautiful that everyone from every walk of life is doing their best to do their best, whatever that is.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: And it is, there's no way to compare.
46:36
SPEAKER_00: There's not.
46:37
SPEAKER_00: And it and and here's the whole thing everybody is so beautiful in their own uniqueness, right?
46:41
SPEAKER_00: It's like I have very strong opinions about all sorts of stuff when it comes to other people putting their shit in people's lanes.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: But I don't come from this place where I'm not happy to have everyone on this planet and their own unique, awesome, weird everything because weird is a compliment to me.
46:57
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think it's any fun to have everybody that's the exact same.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: I think we've all tried to stay in this box because of this like high school mean girl behavior that we never got past.
47:05
SPEAKER_00: And so we allowed her to bully everybody, right?
47:08
SPEAKER_00: I think there's lots of different demographics that are kind of bullies in our society, and um, and we allow them to run the show, and it's like, you guys, we're supposed to all be our own unique amazing awesomeness.
47:18
SPEAKER_00: That's what the collective needs is whatever your thing is, whatever your amazingness is.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: And so really encouraging people to be their own, their own versions without outside influence is awesome.
47:29
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
47:30
SPEAKER_02: I think about that too of you know, I I like to go shopping at like secondhand stores and I get whatever crazy, you know, skirt or a hat or some other something that might not necessarily be something I wear every day, but it is when I feel that up.
47:42
SPEAKER_02: It's like I feel so cool when I wear a unique piece and I'm able to be myself.
47:47
SPEAKER_02: And and it is, there's no point in fitting into something where you feel lame.
47:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, do what you want to do.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't take your criticism anyways.
47:54
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
47:55
SPEAKER_00: Because, like, why would I why would I dress for you or why would I act for you?
47:58
SPEAKER_00: You're in the cheap seats of my life.
48:00
SPEAKER_00: Why would I give a fuck what you think?
48:01
SPEAKER_00: Like it just logically, it just doesn't make sense.
48:03
SPEAKER_00: I understand you get into that mindset of being, you know, being concerned about what other people think and like all of this stuff.
48:10
SPEAKER_00: But I'm telling you, it's not the mindset that's the best life.
48:12
SPEAKER_00: That's not where your best life is lived.
48:14
SPEAKER_00: So set that down, figure out how to fix your brain.
48:16
SPEAKER_00: You have everything to fix your brain, do it, you know.
48:20
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
48:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it is like live life for yourself.
48:23
SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, I feel like that's something that I've truly been able to see you put into play.
48:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:29
SPEAKER_02: Where yeah, like once you got sober, I mean, it was.
48:32
SPEAKER_02: I've I've been watching you heal ever since.
48:34
SPEAKER_02: And it it's been incredibly inspiring to me to to know, like, hey, you've and I and I, of course, never knew like the the depths of how tough stuff was for you.
48:44
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, when Anne Marine died, like that was that was incredibly difficult for everybody.
48:48
SPEAKER_02: It was it rocked the whole world.
48:51
SPEAKER_02: And I mean, yeah, you truly have crawled out of the depths of hell.
48:55
SPEAKER_02: It seems to believe that.
48:57
SPEAKER_02: You're like a shining star now.
48:58
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it truly like you brighten my day every time I see you, and it is, it's a pleasure to be around you.
49:05
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it, I appreciate it, I appreciate it.
49:06
SPEAKER_00: It makes me understand how how worth uh doing the work was.
49:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it wasn't easy.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: No, it didn't happen overnight.
49:14
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like it's so funny because when I try to try to convince people to dive into their own work and and do their own self-exploration journeys, it's like um it's not easy, but it is simple.
49:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
49:24
SPEAKER_00: And also life is hard.
49:26
SPEAKER_00: So just pick your heart.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: To me, I I suggest you pick the one that has you going on a path that has you leading to better things, um, because those things just compound.
49:34
SPEAKER_00: Uh, or you can stay stuck and just keep complaining about the same stuff, your choice.
49:38
SPEAKER_02: I was thinking as I was driving over here this morning, the analogy that we had uh talked about um on one of the last episodes that I was on with the um like monsters incorporated, like either the kids screaming or them laughing.
49:50
SPEAKER_02: You know, everything you do requires energy.
49:53
SPEAKER_02: It requires effort.
49:54
SPEAKER_02: Like everything is hard, everyone has a hard time.
49:57
SPEAKER_02: And you know, again, like with social media, you see somebody's best day when you're on your worst.
50:01
SPEAKER_02: I remember when I did have social media, I'd be like, you know, in my depression nest in my bedroom in my pajamas, like half awake, like, you know, yeah, seeing these beautiful women on these wonderful trips and all this great blah, blah, blah.
50:15
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, it is the comparison will steal all of that.
50:18
SPEAKER_02: And comparison put that energy towards something meaningful that helps me.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: Comparison just robs you, it literally robs you of your enjoyment of life because you're looking at somebody else's highlight reel, going, Oh, I wish I had that.
50:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know what?
50:31
SPEAKER_00: Those people did a lot of things to get to the place where they can enjoy those.
50:35
SPEAKER_00: If you're not willing to pay the price, that's okay, that's on you.
50:38
SPEAKER_00: But stop fucking complaining about it because it just makes you look like a bitch.
50:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
50:42
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
50:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it is, it's a choice every day.
50:46
SPEAKER_02: We all have choices.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: That's one thing I think that's been huge for me as I've been coming out of my own depression.
50:51
SPEAKER_02: And like every day is, you know, some days I'm sad, some days I'm happy, some days I'm content.
50:56
SPEAKER_02: And I think I've gotten to a place where most days I'm content now, but it's an active choice of, you know, I should put my laundry away, I should brush my teeth.
51:06
SPEAKER_02: I and it is, I always feel better when I do those things.
51:09
SPEAKER_02: It's always easier to to to put in the hard work and then enjoy the benefit later instead of yeah, it is, and I think people don't realize like you get what you asked for, you get what you ordered.
51:20
SPEAKER_00: If you're doing depressing shit, you're gonna be depressed.
51:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you're doing fucking poor people shit, you're gonna be poor.
51:27
SPEAKER_00: If you're doing fucking fat people stuff, you're gonna be fat.
51:29
SPEAKER_00: If you're doing like these are all choices.
51:32
SPEAKER_00: If you want something different, don't sit in the corner and cry because somebody else has something different than you.
51:37
SPEAKER_00: They paid a price that you're not willing to pay.
51:39
SPEAKER_00: So either get willing to pay it or stop fucking bitching about it because it's like, where is that getting you?
51:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
51:46
SPEAKER_02: No, one thing I've been saying a lot recently is like, be so for real.
51:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like genuinely.
51:51
SPEAKER_02: What do you actually want?
51:52
SPEAKER_02: Because, like, for me, like, yeah, I'd love to be fit and have a six-pack and huge bud and all this other, but no, I'm not gonna spend three hours in the gym every day.
52:00
SPEAKER_00: And that's and that's a choice.
52:01
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, okay, do I want to do that?
52:03
SPEAKER_00: Or or am I okay with whatever it is without eat healthier?
52:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, like you look at people and it's like they want something, but they're not willing to do the work.
52:10
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, that's what the price is.
52:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
52:13
SPEAKER_00: That's what the price is.
52:14
SPEAKER_00: And so if you don't want to do that, no problems, but it's attainable for everybody because your life is literally just a sum of your choices.
52:21
SPEAKER_00: If you want to look at where you are in life, just start pulling back the curtain and look at what the choices are that stack up to what that is.
52:27
SPEAKER_00: I make hard choices every day.
52:29
SPEAKER_00: I do the hard thing every fucking time.
52:31
SPEAKER_00: That's my life.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: It has always been my life, whether I've been pointed in the right direction or not the right direction, right?
52:36
SPEAKER_00: Everything has led to here, and so I will maintain that everything was the right direction because, you know, I mean, like every it's it's a whole path that you're supposed to be on, but um, I'm willing to do the hard thing.
52:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to be the first one in and the last one out.
52:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, should I have the same thing as everybody else then?
52:50
SPEAKER_00: No, I've fucking made harder decisions and made harder things.
52:52
SPEAKER_00: So if you want to compare yourself to me, knock yourself out, right?
52:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be busy being more fabulous every fucking day.
52:58
SPEAKER_00: You can do the exact same things.
53:00
SPEAKER_00: Change, you know, change it up.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: The one the one example that is always funny to me is like you have these people who get to the end of their marriages and they're like, I don't know what happened, right?
53:09
SPEAKER_00: Go ahead and just check your screen time on social media and see how many hours a day you put into that.
53:13
SPEAKER_00: And then look at how many on an obsession.
53:15
SPEAKER_00: And then look at it, you look how many date nights you've had on your calendar.
53:18
SPEAKER_00: You're getting exactly what you ordered.
53:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, don't you get it?
53:21
SPEAKER_00: You're literally getting exactly what you ordered.
53:23
SPEAKER_00: But so many people want to just not look, they don't want to look at the hard truths of stuff.
53:27
SPEAKER_00: Look in the mirror, look in the mirror.
53:29
SPEAKER_00: You can have whatever life you want to.
53:31
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have to own your shit, right?
53:32
SPEAKER_00: Some savage self-awareness and some radical accountability will fucking really do wonders for your life, but you guys take those first steps first.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
53:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
53:41
SPEAKER_02: I know lately for me it's been, you know, I love sweets so much so that it it can be a detriment, you know.
53:48
SPEAKER_02: And I've I'm definitely at like the heaviest that I've ever been.
53:51
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not like, you know, overweight by any means, but it still is such that, you know, now it's like there's a there's a battle I have to have in my own head of like, you know, like do I want something that's a reward now or do I want the reward later?
54:05
SPEAKER_02: It's like, yes, it's delicious and tasty, but then but then it is then my stomach hurts, then I'm gaining weight, then all these other things.
54:12
SPEAKER_02: And you know, in moderation, everything can be fine, but it is like I think, especially in my depression, there was a long time where I was choosing the instant gratification of of watching that YouTube video for three hours of eating that sweet thing and having a whole box of whatever, and it's it just is it doesn't it never feels as good as you think it will, it never fills you up, like you're just numbing.
54:34
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like people people aren't willing to deal with their emotions, and so they push them down and they numb on top of it.
54:40
SPEAKER_00: Food is the biggest one that you can do, alcohol is another big one, right?
54:43
SPEAKER_00: I I I traded my alcohol, I coupled it with you know being a workaholic.
54:48
SPEAKER_00: Like I have been a workaholic for a long, long time.
54:50
SPEAKER_00: It takes me a lot to to lay off of that.
54:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can turn anything into your addiction.
54:55
SPEAKER_00: That's a that's a true thing.
54:57
SPEAKER_00: Or may I suggest, right?
55:00
SPEAKER_00: Processing your own fucking emotions, dealing with your own shit, unpacking some stuff so you're not carrying around an invisible weight.
55:07
SPEAKER_00: Because again, I will maintain I live the best fucking life possible because I have nothing but fucking energy to put towards the things that are important to me because I've fixed my shit and continue to do so every time something comes up.
55:19
SPEAKER_00: Is it easy?
55:20
SPEAKER_00: No, but it's simple.
55:22
SPEAKER_00: But it's simple when shit comes up.
55:24
SPEAKER_00: I go, I don't want to fucking keep carrying that around, you know.
55:27
SPEAKER_00: So I'm, you know, I'm not gonna do depressing shit because I don't want to be depressed.
55:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna fucking do fat people stuff because I don't want to be fat.
55:33
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna do things, you know, whatever the things are.
55:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do poor people's shit because I don't want to be fucking poor.
55:38
SPEAKER_00: You can complain about it all you want or start making choices that stack up with what you actually want in life.
55:43
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
55:44
SPEAKER_02: You know, like the consequences of the actions, you know how something feels.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: Like we're we're too grown to sound like we don't understand what's happening.
55:51
SPEAKER_00: It's a fucking great way to say it.
55:53
SPEAKER_00: We're too grown to act like we don't know what's happening.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: If if you're doing fight fat people's shit, you're gonna be fat.
55:58
SPEAKER_00: If you're doing depressing people's shit, you're gonna be depressed.
56:00
SPEAKER_00: If you're doing poor people's shit, you're gonna be fucking poor.
56:03
SPEAKER_00: Spend that energy that you use complaining and making excuses and justifying your fucking miserable existence into fucking changing things.
56:11
SPEAKER_00: Make different decisions, stack different wins.
56:14
SPEAKER_00: It starts happening so fast, it'll blow your doors off.
56:17
SPEAKER_00: It'll literally exactly like one little.
56:20
SPEAKER_00: Am I right?
56:20
SPEAKER_00: Like you know that I'm right.
56:22
SPEAKER_00: You know that I'm right.
56:22
SPEAKER_00: Like you just start making one small decision and stack a win and stack a win and stack a win.
56:28
SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's I'm not gonna eat this whole box of whatever, or I'm gonna set a timer when I sit down for social media.
56:33
SPEAKER_00: And when 30 minutes is up, I'm gonna get up and go outside and get some goddamn sunshine on my face.
56:37
SPEAKER_00: Or I'm gonna put a fucking date night on my calendar with my partner so that I invest in the things that are important to me.
56:42
SPEAKER_00: If not, plan on laying in bed with social media when your husband leaves.
56:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm like, I don't even know what else to say.
56:48
SPEAKER_02: How can you do what you want to do if you don't do what you want to do?
56:50
SPEAKER_00: Getting exactly what you're fucking ordering.
56:52
SPEAKER_00: Like open your eyes.
56:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not from a place of judgment.
56:55
SPEAKER_00: I open my eyes.
56:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you from you, like from a place of experience, there's a better way.
57:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 100%.
57:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
57:05
SPEAKER_02: Um, and one final question.
57:07
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I can't wait.
57:08
SPEAKER_02: Do you have any advice you'd like to give to my listeners?
57:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, get a copy of my goddamn book.
57:16
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's it's so funny because somebody somebody commented after I had one of the things, one of the promos on social media about um the book, and they said something about it's real rich for me to, you know, say get a copy of the book because they're having a hard time getting groceries.
57:29
SPEAKER_00: And I and my response to them is the same as my response will be send me a fucking DM with your address.
57:33
SPEAKER_00: I will mail you a copy of the book.
57:35
SPEAKER_00: This isn't about money for me.
57:36
SPEAKER_00: I put a fuck ton of energy and effort into helping other people open their eyes and take charge of their own lives, right?
57:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a therapist, I'm not somebody that, you know, whatever.
57:45
SPEAKER_00: I speak to you in terms of stuff that's very visual, it's impactful.
57:48
SPEAKER_00: I have literally watched as so many people at my front door have gone, oh my God, I'm changing my own life because of the tools that you're able to get out of this book.
57:55
SPEAKER_00: So, so that's my advice.
57:57
SPEAKER_00: Get a copy of the goddamn book.
57:58
SPEAKER_00: You can listen to it, you can read it on Kindle, you can have the hardcover delivered to you.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: If you can't afford it, send me a fucking message.
58:04
SPEAKER_00: I will send it to you.
58:05
SPEAKER_00: Like we're in bad shape in this in this world that we're in right now.
58:10
SPEAKER_00: We need, we need, we need the tools that are in this book.
58:13
SPEAKER_00: So and you're happy to help.
58:15
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that you say that.
58:16
SPEAKER_02: You won't send the book to anybody who has.
58:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm here to be part of the solution, right?
58:20
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, fucking, if you have problems or excuses or ways that you can't get past, send me a DM.
58:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna help you work through it.
58:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not like, oh, you know, people make so many excuses about not working on themselves.
58:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, therapy is so expensive, and so this is that, and that stop fucking giving yourself a pass.
58:34
SPEAKER_00: Stop making excuses.
58:35
SPEAKER_00: You have a phone, or you can borrow a phone if you don't have one, get access to the world wide web.
58:40
SPEAKER_00: But good, I mean there's all of these different things.
58:42
SPEAKER_00: When you switch the script and you say, I'm not gonna come from a place of excuses, I'm gonna come from a place of solutions, everything changes.
58:48
SPEAKER_00: It's a fucking game changer.
58:49
SPEAKER_00: And all it is is a mindset where you say, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
58:53
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
58:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself.
58:56
SPEAKER_00: Ted's been out talking fucking big time on this episode.
58:59
SPEAKER_00: So thanks for inviting us.
59:00
SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you coming on today, and it's been a pleasure to speak with you.
59:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
59:04
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me for your 30th birthday.
59:07
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.
59:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
59:09
SPEAKER_02: And that's a wrap.
59:10
SPEAKER_02: If something from today's conversation hit home challenged your perspective or handed you a cheat code you didn't know you needed, we'd love to hear about it.
59:17
SPEAKER_02: Send us a DM or email us at ladies at Let's Get Naked Podcast.com.
59:21
SPEAKER_02: And if you believe these conversations matter, help us get them into more ears.
59:26
SPEAKER_02: Follow, share, rate, review.
59:28
SPEAKER_02: Send an episode to someone you care about or someone you don't, because everybody needs help these days.
59:33
SPEAKER_02: Until next time, stay curious, keep growing, and don't waste your potential.
59:37
SPEAKER_02: We'll see you on the next one.