Latest / The Nadia Chapman Show / Main Character Energy: Rewrite the Role. Live the Story. Don’t Be an Extra.

Transcript

Main Character Energy: Rewrite the Role. Live the Story. Don’t Be an Extra. · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:03
  Hey friends, welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show.
• 0:06
  I'm your host, Nadia Chapman, on this lovely fall-type weather out here in Southern
• 0:12
  California. It's absolutely glorious for somebody from the East Coast like me.
• 0:16
  The leaves are not changing colors here, but at least the sky is gray,
• 0:20
  and I'm wearing a sweater, and I'm sipping on a tea. So I'm very happy and I
• 0:26
  was very excited today to sit at my desk with my microphone to record this.
• 0:31
  And it's all about playing small versus becoming the main character of your own life.
• 0:39
  And it's going to get you thinking, which is good.
• 0:42
  That's why I'm here. But hopefully, most importantly, it's going to shift something
• 0:47
  within you and you're going to start doing life differently. Exactly.
• 0:51
  So I'm going to ask you, have you been playing small?
• 0:56
  And maybe not in every single area of your life, but maybe at least in one space.
• 1:01
  So maybe it's your career, maybe the sports you're playing or you're doing,
• 1:05
  maybe your relationships, or maybe just the way you carry yourself.
• 1:09
  Maybe you've been trying to shrink yourself, not to bother anyone or just to fit in.
• 1:15
  Maybe you've been doubting yourself. Maybe you've been holding back,
• 1:18
  or maybe you've been waiting to ask permission, but you don't need permission.
• 1:23
  And deep down, you know that you are playing small.
• 1:29
  We feel it. I'm sure you've had these moments, these flashes in your mind,
• 1:33
  these visions, where you catch
• 1:34
  yourself having a little glimpse of who you could be, what you could do.
• 1:39
  Only if you stop overthinking, stop apologizing, stop rehearsing your own word.
• 1:45
  That version of you already exists. If you can think about it, it's already there.
• 1:52
  And today, we're going to wake her up or wake him up together.
• 1:56
  So this episode is all about activating what I like to call the main character energy.
• 2:01
  And no, I'm not talking about coming into a room and being the loudest person in there. That's not it.
• 2:08
  I'm talking about real work of reclaiming your power and rewriting the stories
• 2:13
  that you've been handed.
• 2:15
  It's all about learning how to step into a confidence that's rooted in self-trust,
• 2:21
  not in performance, okay?
• 2:24
  We're gonna dive into why confidence is not a personality trait,
• 2:29
  no, it's not, how to rewire your inner dialogue, and most importantly,
• 2:34
  how to stop playing the supporting role in your own life.
• 2:38
  You need to be the main character. It is your life. You need to step into this
• 2:44
  main character. energy.
• 2:46
  So whether you've been doubting yourself lately, struggling to show up fully,
• 2:51
  or just craving a little fire or spirit inside of you, this is for you.
• 2:56
  So we're going to flip the script, rewrite the rule, and finally put you back
• 3:01
  at the center of your own story. Are you ready?
• 3:05
  So what is the meaning of main character energy, Nadia?
• 3:09
  Well, main character energy at its core, it's about ownership.
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  It's the quiet, steady confidence that comes from knowing who you are and what
• 3:19
  you're about to do, what you can do and why you're here.
• 3:23
  It's about walking into a space or any space and not questioning if you belong
• 3:29
  because you already decided that you do.
• 3:31
  It's not about showing off. It's not about being the better person or thinking
• 3:36
  that you're better than anyone. and it's not about being the loudest at all.
• 3:40
  It's not even about being fearless.
• 3:43
  It's about, drum roll, being fully you.
• 3:48
  Yes, even when it feels risky. It's kind of grounded energy that says,
• 3:55
  you know what, I'm allowed to take that space.
• 3:57
  I'm allowed to want more and I'm allowed to show up without apologizing for who I am.
• 4:03
  This is to the core what I used to do in life coaching when I first started my practice.
• 4:09
  And if these words sound kind of crazy for you or too big and out of reach,
• 4:14
  Hang with me, because the truth is you already have that energy inside of you.
• 4:20
  And it's not something you have to find.
• 4:22
  It's something you have to reclaim. Are you with me?
• 4:26
  Let's get one thing clear before we keep going.
• 4:30
  Confidence is not something that you're born with. And it's not a personality trait.
• 4:35
  I've talked about this many times. It's not some magical thing that some people
• 4:39
  are just born with. It's something you learn.
• 4:42
  It's something that you built. And it's built through action, not through thinking.
• 4:48
  The people you admire, the ones that seem unshakable and fearless,
• 4:53
  and they have their life together and they're bold, they weren't born that way.
• 4:57
  They've just failed so many times to stop being afraid of taking action.
• 5:03
  They've done the scary thing enough time and times again and realized,
• 5:09
  okay, that wasn't too bad. I survived.
• 5:11
  Let's go again. Confidence doesn't come from getting it perfect.
• 5:15
  It comes from showing up repeatedly, even when you're unsure,
• 5:19
  even when your hands are shaking, even when the voice in your head is screaming,
• 5:24
  oh my God, what are you doing?
• 5:26
  Who do you think you are? And that's the exact moment where most people back off.
• 5:32
  They hear that voice and they shrink.
• 5:35
  That's when they start playing small. That's when they go quiet.
• 5:38
  But the ones who build confidence, they feel that fear too. They feel it.
• 5:45
  That's where the power comes from. Not from avoiding failure,
• 5:48
  but from outgrowing the fear of it. Maybe that's your writer downer today.
• 5:55
  So why are you playing a role that doesn't fit anymore? Ask yourself that for a second.
• 6:02
  Let's talk about this idea of rewriting your role. Because what I see happening a lot.
• 6:09
  With the work I do and the people in my life and some skaters and creative people
• 6:14
  or people who just want to do big things is that they're living with a story
• 6:18
  about themselves that is absolutely outdated.
• 6:21
  So maybe it was written in their childhood.
• 6:24
  Maybe it came from somebody else's voice. So a parent, a coach,
• 6:27
  a friend, somebody at work.
• 6:29
  And maybe your story says that, oh, you're the shy one or you're the responsible
• 6:34
  one or you're not good enough or you're too intense or you're too loud or you're
• 6:39
  too emotional or you're too ambitious.
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  And then you analyze that story over time and you let it define how you move,
• 6:48
  how you adjust, and you internalize that story over time.
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  And you slowly stop asking for what you wanted and instead start settling for what felt safe.
• 7:00
  And if it's the case, you're not crazy, you're not a loser. It's normal.
• 7:06
  It's normal. And that's what your brain is trying to do.
• 7:09
  Your brain wants to keep you safe. But what if that story that you've been attached
• 7:13
  to, that you've been telling yourself, what if it isn't true anymore?
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  What if the next level isn't about adding more to that story,
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  but about unlearning that false
• 7:23
  narrative and that false identity that you've picked up along the way?
• 7:28
  That's what stepping into main character energy really is.
• 7:32
  It's not changing who you are. that's you're beautiful
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  the way you are and that would be stupid we're not
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  going to put a wig and a fake mustache on you and send you out
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  there in the world it's returning to who you were always before
• 7:45
  the world convinced you to tone it down or play it safe so what does it look
• 7:50
  like when we activate that main character energy well let's get practical because
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  i like to do that let's say you're ready you're listening to this you know right
• 8:00
  now and you're saying you know what yes this is what I need.
• 8:04
  I'm going to give you some ways to start activating that main character energy right now.
• 8:09
  And first, I'm going to ask you, change the way you narrate your life.
• 8:13
  And I know this might sound silly. It's extremely powerful.
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  Instead of saying, I'm just trying to get through today.
• 8:21
  Or life is hard, what if you say, I'm navigating today with purpose and clarity, I've got this.
• 8:27
  And I want you to do that. Change the inner conversations, the way you talk
• 8:31
  about life, the way you talk about yourself.
• 8:34
  Start talking to yourself like you're the lead in a powerful transformation story because you are.
• 8:39
  Second, practice micro moments of boldness.
• 8:43
  Oh, I like that. You don't have to change your entire life in one day,
• 8:47
  but you can start small and intentional.
• 8:50
  What are micro moments of boldness, Nadia?
• 8:54
  Well, I'm going to tell you. From the top of my head right now,
• 8:57
  it could look like speaking up at a meeting or wearing a crazy outfit,
• 9:01
  you know, that makes you feel like you again.
• 9:03
  Or maybe it's applying for that job that you want to do.
• 9:07
  Maybe apply for that thing that you're not 100% qualified for.
• 9:11
  Maybe it's posting a video for your business. Maybe it's sending an email to somebody.
• 9:16
  Maybe it's just simply asking for what you want.
• 9:20
  Confidence grows every time you do something that slightly scares you.
• 9:25
  Third, visualize the version of you that already embodies this energy.
• 9:29
  Take two minutes every day. You don't need that much time.
• 9:33
  Close your eyes and picture him or picture her. What does he or she sound like?
• 9:39
  How does she carry herself or how does he carry himself? What does she believe in?
• 9:45
  What does he believe in? You have no idea how powerful visualization can change
• 9:51
  who you are and how you do things.
• 9:54
  Two minutes a day. Make one decision today and every day from her place or his place of power.
• 10:02
  Not from a place of fear, not your overthinking, not your old narrative.
• 10:07
  Make one decision today from that place of power. And here's a truth no one really talks about.
• 10:14
  Main character energy is in a permanent state. It's not like you activate it
• 10:18
  once and then boom, here you are, you're done.
• 10:22
  No, you've got to keep choosing it. You know, when I say you need to do the
• 10:26
  mental work and the mindset work, it's like mental fitness.
• 10:29
  Same thing for this. You have to keep choosing this.
• 10:33
  Some days you'll feel like you're the lead in maybe a Netflix drama.
• 10:38
  Confident, aligned and radiant. And other days you'll feel like you're an extra
• 10:42
  in somebody else's movie, that you are just wondering what the hell's going
• 10:46
  to happen next. And that's normal.
• 10:48
  You're human. But the beautiful thing is you can always come back to it.
• 10:52
  You can return to yourself.
• 10:54
  You get to rewrite the next page. You can pivot the scene. You can raise the
• 10:59
  stakes. You can change the tone.
• 11:01
  You can decide that even after everything, doubt, fear, rejection,
• 11:07
  you're still going to show up. because you are the main actor. You get to decide.
• 11:14
  You're still going to lead. And guys, these concepts are very familiar with me.
• 11:20
  I apply them to my life. Sometimes I've got to revisit them.
• 11:23
  Sometimes I have to relearn them and reapply them to my own life.
• 11:28
  When I decided to sit down today, I want you to know that you built confidence
• 11:32
  by stepping forward exactly from where you are.
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  Every single time that you move, even if the nerves kick in,
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  and every single time that you stop dimming your light to make other people
• 11:44
  feel comfortable, you're choosing the role that you were always meant to play.
• 11:49
  And I want this to stay with you right now. And if you need to download and,
• 11:54
  and I don't know, mark this episode, listen to it again. It is life changing.
• 12:00
  You don't owe the world a watered version of yourself.
• 12:04
  You don't need to audition for your own life, guys. You are not here forever.
• 12:09
  Life is precious. Life is fragile.
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  Stop living this gorgeous life of yours from the sideline.
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  You already have the part. You already have the power.
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  You are the main character of your own life. Start acting like it.
• 12:26
  So next time that you catch yourself holding back and waiting and shrinking
• 12:30
  and spiraling and overthinking, come back.
• 12:34
  Come back to this moment right now. Come back to this voice. Come back to yourself.
• 12:39
  And remember, confidence isn't always something that you chase.
• 12:44
  It's something that you decide to embody.
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  So go have fun. Go be the main character of your own life, in your goals, in your joy.
• 12:52
  Okay? Go be under the spotlight.
• 12:55
  It was never about being seen by everyone else.
• 12:59
  It was about finally seeing yourself. Thank you so much for listening today.
• 13:04
  If this episode lit a little spark in you, please share, download,
• 13:09
  save, send it to a friend, re-listen to it when you need a reminder.
• 13:16
  And if you're ready to go deeper, if you're ready to shift, just message me
• 13:21
  and I'll send you all the details about coaching.
• 13:24
  And you don't have to be a figure skater. I know I do a lot of work with figure
• 13:26
  skaters, but you can be anyone. If you're human, you can work with me.
• 13:31
  I love you. I believe in you. And I'll see you in the next one.