Latest / Str8Love Podcast / Privileged to Have Problems

Transcript

Privileged to Have Problems · Str8Love Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: dude, it's not that funny man.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm laughing so much.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry if it's love that you need, you can't take it from me, because I'm the one who's giving it up, and I know it's been hard, but you've been in this far Now I'm the one who's giving it up.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the straight love podcast.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I am your host.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: The boast most roast dp always with me in forever, jimmy jay man, that's a great hat too.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Man, oh, thank you.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, jimmy's.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Uh, it's got a collection of baseball hats that would, I don't't know, make any 17-year-old in the world jealous.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I've got a lot.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, eh, yeah, I do have a lot.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Only one head, though, so I don't know why?
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, you never know.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: No, I mean, if you're ever friends with a Hydra, that'll definitely come in handy.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: If you haven't done so already, do the things and the stuff.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Head on over to straightlove on Instagram.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: S-e-r the number eight dot love.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I've been super active over there recently.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I haven't felt super inspired to share, but you can always reach out to us on there.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: We love hearing from the people that listen to the pod.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Jim?
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: What did you want to talk about?
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: The thing that I wanted to talk about was um the idea of uh feeling privileged to have problems and the alliteration isn't.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: There are lots of problems that we encounter in life or that come to us in life, that are stick with me here on this one that are afforded to us because of what we have in life.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: So, for example, if your vehicle needs repairs, that means you're fortunate enough to have a vehicle.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, have a challenge to afford the repairs, or, for example, certainly, but I was just kind of thinking about this it's a few weeks ago already and haven't really thought about it much since, but I kind of found it an interesting concept or a way to kind of reframe something and to say, well, it's a privilege to have these problems that I have when you're navigating them.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: And I guess it's a philosophy or an idea that maybe can work for me, because I don't really have any what I would call real problems, like true problems in in comparison to other people, kind of yeah, for sure right.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Like I'm not, you know, I I live a very, very good life that you deserve, thank you.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Um.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: So then I kind of thought I wonder if, when anything, when things come up and they inevitably do that instead of having that typical, usual response of why is this happening, I can't believe this is happening.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Now, I got to deal with this.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: If there's a way for me to rewire my brain to think it's a privilege to have this problem, to think it's a privilege to have this problem.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Well, so what is the default is immediate frustration.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what was me?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how could this happen?
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: I got to deal with this now.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: This is going to inconvenience me, this might cost me money, so on and so forth, so on and so forth.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Instead of what?
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Instead of thinking that again, because the life that I have is the way that it is, then these problems, they aren't actually really problems.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: They're just things that come up, that you need to navigate, that you need to handle yeah and if you didn't have a particular station in life, you wouldn't have these problems, you wouldn't be afforded the ability to have these problems.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Like going back to that example of oh I have vehicle trouble, you have a vehicle, that's that's amazing.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: So that would be your default, then, right, huh, okay and then so then does it, does that reframing and that rewiring change, then does it change just as a whole the things that you encounter in life, and they again are no longer the, the instinct is no longer to respond to them as being problems, quote, unquote, and those typical emotions that go with problems quote, unquote.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: So now your problems are opportunities.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, opportunities for growth.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I was, yeah, like I wasn't.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: I wasn't even going to be that sort of optimistic or or whatever the right word is.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: Optimistic is good.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Sure, I was just going to be like it's a challenge.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: You know, can I rise to the challenge, which is also good, man?
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Opportunity is even better because you know, opportunity always speaks to something fortuitous, for sure.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I I think that's an even better way to look at it, why I really like challenge?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: because, let's say, you rise to that challenge and then you overcome it.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well then what happens?
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: You're growing right, learning right.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: You know you're probably, if you encounter that problem, slash challenge again.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Well, guess what?
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: You're going to be better equipped to deal with it yes, exactly right.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Like you're the the um, you become more trained that you change your instinctual response totally.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Man I think, yeah, I like that.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: That actually makes me think about my daughter a little bit.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Not that she necessarily has problems, but she certainly has challenges.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: She's learning right now of certain things, you know.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: She's learning how to run up the stairs, she's learning how to um, you know, open doors and that kind of thing by herself.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And she gets frustrated.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: And my immediate um desire is to remove these obstacles, oh, obstacles, to solve these problems for her, to make life easier for her.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: So she doesn't have to have, so she doesn't have to have.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: You know that, that feeling of um, you know what was me?
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I don't like this, I don't want to do this, this is going to be bad, like all those.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: So, but then how is she going to grow, man, you know, if these challenges aren't there, if these opportunities aren't there for her to get stronger, get smarter, figure out how to live a little better?
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: And contrast is very important as well, like if everything is just easy.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: There's no contrast.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: And then if you have no contrast, then you have no discernment, I guess, in terms of your directionality and positionality of your own life, or your own emotions, or how you feel, or oh wow.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Do you think that that's why there's these you know, kids out there kids, teenagers, people who grow up in these affluent environments where they don't have any problems really to deal with outside of?
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Well, certainly, you know.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Like you know, we talk about ourselves not having the kind of problems that somebody who's less fortunate than us right, yeah and then when I think of people on the upper side of that echelon, whose problems are probably even less significant than ours because money doesn't apply to them and they probably have servants and whatever else like right.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: I think what it can contribute to is a lack of meaning.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: How?
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: So well, solving I'll use the word that I'm trying not to use, but solving problems creates meaning, but how?
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Because you want to resolve whatever it is that needs resolution.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: You want to resolve whatever it is that's not in alignment with where you want to be and you want to get past that or through that or overcome that, to sort of get to that next level, like resolution is a big thing.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: Resolution is peace, is confidence, is comfort, is is those types of things right.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: So if you this, everyone needs to create their own meaning.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Of course, 100, yeah, and part of that is solving problems how does that um kind of relate to or mirror adversity then?
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: how does it relate to or mirror adversity?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: like when it comes to its adversity in someone's life, and overcoming that I mean like again, we're talking about something that's hard, but doing that, figuring that out, overcoming that again, is providing you with meaning, confidence, everything that we're kind of talking about here, yeah, so I, I can.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I can compute that as sort of two things right now, two branches off of this trunk of adversity, that being the adversity that you haven't chosen, which I don't actually believe is true, and the adversity that you have chosen, chosen, chose.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: You have chose in, chosen, chose, uh, because so you can.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: There's strength in both of them because you can, you can.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: What the real choice is is are you going to choose to overcome them or are you going to choose to consume them or allow them to consume?
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: you okay, okay um, and it is a choice, yeah, so by the ones that you don't choose.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: For example, using the same example, is no one chooses their vehicle to have issues that would seem weird, right, um?
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: But you can choose to let it drag you down or you can choose to let it impact, whatever the case might be, you know, maybe you add plans to I don't know.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Whatever the case might be, you know, maybe you had plans to I don't know.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Whatever the case might be, it doesn't matter Go on a road trip or something and now you can't, or whatever the case, I don't know.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: But you can choose to let it bring you down or you can choose.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: You can choose to rise to the challenge or you can choose to let it bring you down, but ultimately it is creating meaning because you want to resolve it, you want to solve it, and then there's the adversity that you choose.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: So, for example, like a goal that you choose.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: So, for example, like a goal, I want to be able to do this.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Many pull-ups, yeah, yeah.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Are you going to continue to push yourself towards that goal through that adversity?
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Um or not?
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: Right, and in both instances, I think it creates meaning, like you have in one instance.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Sure, like I said, maybe it's not necessarily a function of meaning you would have chosen for yourself, and the other one being that it's a personal goal.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Well, you've chosen this meaning, right?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: Which I think all leads back to our evolution and the expansion of who we are and what our universe is.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: Huh, who we are and what our universe is, huh.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Privileged to have problems.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Man, I like that.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I, yeah, I mean you know what again it's?
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: It's just such a healthy way of being able to go through life.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: It really is.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: And I mean, if you can look at those as opportunities, if you can look at those as challenges and you can figure out your way to how to navigate those kinds of things, yeah, man, you're going to come out on the other side like just a better person.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: You're going to navigate life in a better way.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, and that's really what it's about right.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Like it's, it's it's.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: This is one of these major tenants about this existence the ability to navigate it in the best possible state that you can.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: You know fuck man, it really is.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Hey, like going back to the whole, you know buzzword, bingo, vibration and frequency and all those things.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: It's um, it's super fascinating, do?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: you think it matters?
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: If you're navigating these kinds of things by yourself, with people getting support, whatever like, does that even matter?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Well, it's a great question actually.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Um, yeah, I think it's all important.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: I think I think it's very important that a person is able to realize what situation requires what ingredients.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Huh, I like ingredients man.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: That's good, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Because, for sure, sometimes there are instances where you have to say I can't do this myself, Right, and sometimes there are instances where you know you can do it yourself, and then sometimes there are instances where you know you should do it yourself.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: And to be able to even have the wherewithal to know when to do what is something in itself, man.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: A lot of people ask for help when they don't need to, right, and a lot of people never ask for help.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: Right, no matter what, and there's a I'm sure there's a lot of sort of uh psychological aspects that go into that.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I am completely unqualified to comment on, but it's, you know, it's also a case of we sort of, you know, we find connection with when we need help.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's healthy connection.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's like, oh, we just want attention, we want someone to feel sorry for us.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, um, you know, other times it's, you know, solving something yourself, um, can be a very healthy thing, can you know?
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: It can build your own strength and resilience and find a level of yourself that you may not have known existed.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: It could also be unhealthy if you're sort of putting yourself through undue stress and duress just for the sake of being able to say I did it myself.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't need anybody.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Well, there's pride in that thing, right?
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's pride.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which is not a good thing.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: It definitely cannot be, can be unhealthy.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Hey, man, there's a reason.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: It's one of the seven deadly sins, right?
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: so yeah, there's just uh like everything always in life, there's just uh not one sort of blueprint to everything so why do you think it is that that default for the vast majority of people is what was me?
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: This sucks, this is going to be hard, this is going to make my life worse, Like why?
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Why is that almost the unavoidable, um, way of kind of of, of, of automatically feeling about something?
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: limited resources the perception of limited resources is what it is.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but it's quick, it's almost like immediate.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: It's just kind of like okay, this is yeah.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: So this is going to take something from me right, rather than provide me with something right there, it is okay, yeah, okay.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: That's what I would always say.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Not always, that's what I would say.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Do you want to do the St Malo triathlon next year?
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: How's that for taking the conversation?
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: in a different direction.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I will get back to you.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: No, we I mean we're talking a little bit about adversity, challenges, problems, growing, you know, doing things that are different.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Have you ever done a triathlon?
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Have you?
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: ever had any?
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I've not, have you thought.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Has anything about it been alluring to you?
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Let's just put it that way.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: I'm not too sure.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, do you think you could do one, maybe yeah.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Sure, I can do anything I put my mind to damn right, brother, there you go.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: How's your swimming?
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I can swim, yeah, okay.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: You're good at it, yeah, all right.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Hey, man, okay, I did run a couple of years ago.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: So, um, I was actually very much thinking about, um, starting some sort of a group at some point to train for something like that next year.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Now, it wouldn't be anytime soon, but I think I want to do it again and I thought, wow, would it ever be something cool to do if we could start some sort of like small community around it and be like hey, let's grow together.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: We're towards a goal.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: It's going to be hard, yeah, it's going to.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: It's something we're not to be consistent about, yeah, and I mean it's something that we could do individually.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Or we could potentially do it together, yeah, or just me and you can do it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Man, sure and inspire the world yeah, one podcast at a time.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: One triathlon at a time.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Speaking of inspiring people, though, although I don't know how inspiring necessarily, we want this to be, but we have gotten started on the oh yeah, what are gotten started on the um?
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: What are we calling it?
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: The reflection, yes, the midlife reflection, something like that Reflection, something, yeah, yeah, okay, well, I again we're just kind of throwing around ideas, but the first draft of your free um, I mean, it doesn't have to necessarily be something that you do midlife, but it's.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: It's kind of an opportunity for you to pause, think about what you've done and what you still want to do, and doing it at a point where it's it's it's not too late, right, because, as far as we all know, we have a lot of years left, potentially.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, that's what I plan on living at least.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Good, all right, brother.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Awesome, edit the entire first part of this podcast out, right.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Awesome, edit the entire first part of this podcast out Right on.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: And we'll stick with privilege problems.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: There you go, all right, man.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Thanks very much for the conversation, jim.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I love you a lot.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you, man.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: We love you all.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you, bye-bye.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Bye-bye, thank you.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And I fight the world to save me.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: I fight all the men in me and I fight, and I fight, and I fight the world to save me.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I fight all the men in me.