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Midnight Run · System Speak: Complex Trauma and Dissociation

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to System Speak, a podcast about complex trauma and dissociation. It's our story, our learning, and the ideas we've been working with as they've unfolded over time. Earlier episodes give context for where we are now, and current episodes may engage more advanced material, harder content, or reference earlier conversations. A few things to remember as you listen. The podcast is education, reflection, and storytelling.
• 0:41
  It's not therapy, and listening doesn't create a relationship. Although I am a therapist, I am not in that role here, and nothing that I share is individualized clinical advice. Every system, every internal world, all of your own stories are all different and you take up your own shape. What we share about ours won't translate directly to yours. It isn't meant to.
• 1:06
  We're all different, and all of our stories matter. As always, take care of yourself during and after listening, and we are so glad you're here.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: The back seat's fine if that's easier.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Hey, Hello. It's good to see you. Good Good to to see see you you too.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Hi. Hi.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: What a cute little airport you have. It's so good to see.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: It's adorable. Right?
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: It is. I'm
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: sorry. I already warned Barrett it's how we're staying awake.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: That's okay.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: It's you even have built in strings. Hi.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Hi.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like we have a lot to catch people up on and talk about.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Is the microphone already on?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: It is. We're good to go.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: So you got to hear me choking into your ears. Oh, I Directly into your brain.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: I can edit that. Let me make sure.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, are we on are we podcasting too?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: We are recording. Oh, okay. Six seven.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Okay. Hold on. Let
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: me make sure we get out of here. How was your flight?
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: They were good. I had two layovers, so that made for a long day. And I'd never I don't remember ever going through LAX. If so, I did not have a layover like that before where you had different shuttle buses driving you around to different parts of the the complex. Well, jumbo jets, like, are the cross traffic.
• 3:16
  It was pretty wild. The one the one flight was delayed by, like, forty minutes, and so I was really worried how that was gonna turn out. But then it turned out the gate that we landed on was just a few gates down from where I needed to go, so it worked out perfectly.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you made it. Your bag made it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: Yes. And fingers crossed for that too.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: We have so many things going on. Mhmm. We are recording this in house so that we stay awake because it's after midnight.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: I I only realized last night I finally did, like, the time zone math. It's, after two in the morning for my brain. Oh my goodness.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Yeah. You've been with your parents and okay. So the first parent question I have, and please, as always, pass on anything, but is the cow's mom?
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: She's doing really well. She's doing well enough that she's really getting on people's nerves.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: How like, how is she still kicking at all, and what happened with the fall?
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: So she was out gardening in the 90 degree heat and, you know, had moved away from her walker to do so and at some point fell over. And we eventually found her and brought her inside, and she seemed in pretty good spirits, but did end up having, like, a head headache that was still there the next day. So they took her into urgent care, and they said that she should go get an X-ray. And the X-ray people were like, she should probably go to a hospital in a bigger city than this. And so they sent her down to Tulsa, but it was like
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: They sent her in the ambulance?
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Yes. They did. She was not happy about that. But it was the beginning of the fourth of July weekend. And, like, the the doctor took a look at her Oh.
• 5:35
  The doctor took a look at her X-ray and was like, I I don't even know why you're here.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: And they they never, like, gave her any water. She was there for hours. She felt like they were rude to her.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Not even fluids or anything?
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: No.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I would've thought they did that first when the story was she'd been outside.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I mean, this was the next day. But it has been determined that she must have had a concussion, and especially with older people that can cause a headache that lasts for, like, up to a week or something. But, she is back to getting around the house.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: It's so wild to me because she was so frail, and we really thought it was her time that we were gonna lose her. Yes. Like, years ago now. Yeah.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: I yeah. She, evidently, she had a kind of hydrocephalus that it was too much fluid putting pressure on her brain, so they gave her that shunt. The operation that she was also very not happy about, she really does not like going to the hospital or the doctor. But it has made all the difference. And I feel like even just in the last couple months, she's had more PEP, which means she's like she can get up and see when you haven't cleaned something and can complain about it, or she has been organizing the drawers in the kitchen and putting things in brand new places.
• 7:38
  She gets after dad for not helping her with all the things she wants to get done, but he's, like, 84 at this point and pretty wobbly. But they're still kicking.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Wow. Okay. Okay. I guess I don't wanna hop around too much. I mean, also, welcome home.
• 8:07
  First of all, there's that. But, like, the next most urgent thing is how are you literally, physically? I know we don't have all the answers yet. I can hear your voice is a little
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: So I think that's affecting my voice. But, you mean relating to the surgery, I assume you
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: mean? Yeah.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I I'm doing really well as far as I can tell. I am amazed that they removed an organ from my body, and there's been as little pain as there has been. Like, I took a Tylenol the day after I got home from the hospital, and that's it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: On Tuesday, I go back to my follow-up with the surgeon where he'll take a look at things. As far as I can tell, though, it's going okay. I just started taking thyroid hormone last week. Haven't noticed any particular side effects or noticeable ups and downs. I I seem to be doing okay.
• 9:23
  It's really been amazing.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: How is that connected at all to, like, some of the depression you've talked about, or is that a separate thing altogether?
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I I've definitely had a lot of low energy issues and I know that can be connected to thyroid but they've tested my thyroid a number of times and they always said it came out fine and in the past few months I've I've been doing better in the energy department, and that was when they found the lump on my thyroid. So I really don't know what's going on. I've got, like, bizarro thyroid that's doing the opposite of what it's supposed to do, I guess.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: So we're just sort of you've had your surgery, and we're just sort of waiting on the results of, like, biopsies? Or
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: They did do a biopsy. I was supposed to send you the spelling of this thing. They said it was a Hertel cell carcinoma or something like that. Nobody seems very concerned about it, so I'm not worried.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad because there's a whole lot of people in the hospital for us this month. Yeah. We've got half the kids going through things
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: and Oh my goodness.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Your stuff, and then your mom fell. I was like, of course, it's all happening at once.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: We need, like, a loyalty punch card or frequent flyer miles or something.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Well, all teasing aside, I'm glad you're feeling well. I'm glad you made the trip. I can't believe had your surgery. Mom fell.
• 11:11
  Now you have flown here. I I I can't even I mean, it it feels like what our family always feels like that
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Can't even track how much is happening. And, also, it seems normal, and, also, it's a lot all at the same time.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: That is true. That is very
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: true. Are you having, like, any concerns about surgery or feelings about how things are, or you're just sort of floating along till you have more information or you haven't even had a chance because all this other stuff is happening?
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: You mean just relating to my surgery?
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Your own health. And
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Like, the surgery stuff has gone so well. I have barely given it a second thought other than I had so I came home with this big patch of gauze taped on my throat. They said I could take it off the next day. And I did and I passed out of the bathroom, woke up on the floor, being like, I don't remember coming down to the floor. What was I doing down here again?
• 12:19
  Oh my goodness. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. It was funny. I started to feel dizzy.
• 12:26
  I was like, uh-oh, I know what this is. And so I sat down on the chair and evidently, you know, fell off of the chair onto the floor.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. I missed that altogether.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: But then there was, like, this sort of surgical tape on underneath, and I just left that there until yesterday when I was finally tired of it. Just peeled the rest of it off. So now now I look a little Frankenstein ish. But
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Battle scars?
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Exactly. But in general, my health is doing really well. I'm having a lot more energy.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Since surgery or since the other things that we never even got to talk about yet because all this was happening?
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Probably some of the other things is part of it. So, like, I'm I take a a g l p one shot for my diabetes, and my low energy issues started basically at the same time that I started taking it. And I kept telling my doctor whenever I take this I'm tired all the time. I'm not interested in anything. I just feel flat.
• 13:42
  He's like, No, that's that's not a side effect of this medication. And he would like raise the dosage and it would get worse and I would ask to have the dosage lowered and it would get better and he would still say no that's that's not a side effect of this medication. So eventually I got the dosage back down at a level that seems to manage my diabetes well but it's not like knocking me into bed for twelve hours a day. And I'm doing a lot better. I'm getting a lot of writing done.
• 14:19
  I've been able to, like, be more present with the kids and with my parents and do more things that make me happy. That's always nice. Do
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: you wanna talk about the ketamine at all or no?
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Sure. What
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: that was like? Because I'm so I know we've talked about it, but we literally, so much been happening. We haven't had a chance to podcast about it.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So I I had spravado treatments, and I think that was really a turning point in my depression treatment. SPRAVATO is a nasal spray for depression, which sounds made up. It's like my depression doesn't live in my nose, but thank you. No, it's like, it's a form of ketamine.
• 15:21
  Evidently, it's s ketamine. And so because it's kind of an intense intense medicine and highly regulated you have to go into a doctor's office to have this nasal spray administered and then you have to sit in the doctor's office for two hours afterwards just so they can make sure you're okay And then you're supposed to have somebody else drive you home. And initially, you do it twice a week. And then after, like, a month of that, you go down to once a week. And then I think I did it for a couple months every other week, and then I just haven't needed it since then.
• 16:10
  And I was really anxious about doing it before I tried it because, you know, I've never never done any sort of mind altering medicines. And I was worried about what it was gonna be like. And so I like, watched lots of YouTube videos and read lots of blog posts about it. And some people seem to think was just kind of ho and other people seem to have these wild transcendental experiences. The first time I did it was sort of the most striking experience where I I felt like I had a a tour of all of these happy moments in my life where I just felt so peaceful and so grateful and just like everything felt good.
• 17:14
  And, you know, I didn't ever have that exact experience again. But each time I would do it, would just sort of ponder things and let my mind wander and sometimes I would even take in like guided meditation things and it just always left me feeling more positive and relaxed and and pretty wobbly when I finished up. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Wobbly, like, physically or inside?
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Granddad who drove me home would always say, you look like you're walking very carefully. Yeah. My I was a little wobbly on my legs every time I finished. Then I'd go home and take a nap.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: But you feel like it helped?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I do. Yeah. It feels like it was kind of a turning point.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Okay. I I feel like a really big deal.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. It's made a huge difference just thinking about how how much I was struggling last year, in particular. It's a world of difference. Difference.
• 18:40
  Yeah. Yeah. Any other questions about it?
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I am just still trying to stay awake. Sorry. I don't think any more questions about that right now. I have a thousand questions for you, or I guess people are excited as we're updating. It's been a while
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: since we
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: got two together. Yep. I guess the biggest thing happening other than everybody's health, because we also have our oldest about to have eye surgery, the youngest about to do airway stuff again, and everybody in between dealing with all their things. But the the, like, the fun, healthy developmental pieces is that the triplets have become seniors.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, each one of the the kids really is having a major sort of educational upgrade this year. We've got seniors and freshmen and, you know?
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Middle school.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: In middle school. Do
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: you know I I watch or hear people or all these stories youngest and finishing elementary school and all the big feelings you have with that. Nope. Nope. I was like, yes. I did have some feelings of, like, the sentiment.
• 20:18
  I think it was more about we never expected her to live this long.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: And my feelings were about that, and I talked about that with the pediatrician too. But the feelings for just me of like, oh my goodness, we made it through this. And I was thinking too how much I've grown as well because when we had all six in elementary school and the oldest were gonna be finishing right before COVID. Right? Yeah.
• 20:50
  And I could barely even do muffins with mom. Like, that was the big accomplishment that I could go to the school at all. Yeah. And I know they're not called playdates anymore. I have been recently corrected on that, but they're just hangs.
• 21:09
  They have hangs now instead of playdates. But
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: It's better and worse at the same
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: time. Right. And and, like, taking turns with activities and talking to them. Like, they're in my phone, these moms. I can text them and talk to them and plan things for the kids or meet them or sometimes our kids go with them or sometimes their kids come with me.
• 21:41
  And I think the coolest thing is that we have this neighbor family where all their kids are the same ages as all our kids, and there's a lot of overlap in the kinds of activities they're all into, there's a lot that all the kids do together. And so not that that is always easy. I don't mean to say that either. But to see where I've come from since the young the oldest ones started elementary school. Yeah.
• 22:14
  Literally getting them into pre K and all of that and to now with the youngest finishing, it was just such a world of difference.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Makes me think how it's easy for us to look at the kids and see how much they've changed in that time, but to remember, like, we have changed that much too, really. Like, I think we have grown as people a lot.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Yes. I don't even know where to start with that. That was some construction. Sorry.
• 22:59
  I'm trying to stay awake. We're so close. So we're talking about how much we have grown and developed ourselves as well, and we're about to have some birthdays, my friend.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. How
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: do you feel about that?
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: Old. Aw. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. Turning 50.
• 23:38
  I feel like yeah. I don't know. I remember I remember feeling overwhelmed when I was turning 30. And I had a friend tell me that when she turned 30, she said, well, this is this is gonna be the best year of my life. Like, why wouldn't it be?
• 24:04
  You know, it's it's another year, another year of opportunities, and and things you get to do, so just make it a good one. So I guess that's the attitude to take into it.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I think 30 was the year I was really intentional about what I was doing for myself. That's when I used to run at the River River with Nietzsche all the time.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: And so for my thirtieth birthday, I started at one end of town in the parks, and I walked all day, walked and ran, and, like, different friends met me at different miles. Is maybe the coolest thing I ever did for myself. And we walked all the way down Riverside, all the way to downtown and ended up at a little party at a place that we like to meet at downtown.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: That sounds amazing.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: I think I slept for, like, two days
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: after that.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: But the I was it was at the beginning of the blog. Right? And so, like, I I would walk there all the time in different sections and posting pictures all the time, and I love that river so much. Yeah. That season with that dog was so sacred to me.
• 25:29
  And so it was like, I really just for my birthday, I started out super early and just wanted to walk the whole thing. I'm not sure that was the wisest thing I ever did. I was pretty sore after. But I did it, and I was healthy enough at the time. I really trained for that and was able to do it.
• 25:53
  Maybe for other people, it wouldn't be a big deal, but for me to walk across Tulsa was a really big deal.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. One thing I've sort of realized lately is that I miss dancing.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah?
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: But also, I'm so out of shape. I can only dance for, like, thirty seconds before I'm exhausted. Have to breathe for a while. So I need to get back into shape so I can do some more of that.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: What kind of dancing would you do?
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: Well, I miss swing dancing and ballroom dancing. And in New York a couple times, I got to do oh, blast. I forgot what it's called. It was like an early form of square dancing that I can't remember what it's called right now, but it was super fun.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: I love the dancing. And, you know, it's funny that you mentioned this, like, how random, random? Except it's so funny that you mentioned it because, you know, when we were moving, just like our family always does, we're moving rooms all around again. Yes. Kyrie moved into my office because we got the actual office.
• 27:04
  Yeah. I was cleaning that out, and there was, like, an extra closet that because of where my desk was, we kind of hadn't gotten into it, and I just forgot about it. So I found all these random things in this one closet in that room. Like, it has three closets and a wall full of drawers. So there was, like, one of those columns that we kind of couldn't access.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: And so I found the most random things. Like, there were books and papers and essays and all kinds of things that I almost have forgotten about Yeah. Including that codependent book, codependent no more or whatever
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: That I started in, like, 2022. And my friend from college says we actually started it way back then, but it was really hard. And I don't think I finished it. And so, like, coming full circle back to this book. But one of the things that was in there were my competition dresses.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, no way.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah. My my red Latin sequins dance and then the pink waltz dress. That's really cool. It was so funny. I I remember, like, even when you were moving in before we got or, like, when we got married.
• 28:23
  I don't mean you were there before we got married. But when when you were moving in and I was preparing for that beforehand, I was moving things. And I remember trying to move my dresses in their little fancy packages. Yeah. Like, they're all zipped up in there so that they were kept safe and trying to move them so gently.
• 28:42
  And then we found them. Like, the kids were throwing them across the hall from one room to another.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: The bag is ripped in one place. And it was like in a way, it was really sad. And, also, I was like, no. Those have been lived in. I think every single one of our kids were in those dresses at some point.
• 29:04
  I found some of those pictures. It it became one of the things during the pandemic, which I had forgotten. But when I was getting the pictures ready for our oldest for their eighteenth birthday, I found a whole series of pictures where all the kids were playing in my dance dresses. And I thought, oh, that was the very beginning of the pandemic when it's like, what are we gonna do with six kids who can't leave the house?
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: And for how long are we all stuck here? They were all in the dance dresses.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: That is hilarious. We're so close. Speaking of random things you find in the closet, grandma.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: You found grandma in the closet?
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: Well, grandma decided to clean out the closet in Kiri's room, in the room that Kiri had stayed in. And it wasn't just Kiri's stuff. It had things from my sisters from when they were younger. It was, like, crammed with thirty years worth of stuff. But she found
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say it's been a while since Curie was there.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. We're still recovering. We found Curie's tubie pad garland.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Her what?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Her tubie pad garland. Oh. And I brought it in my suitcase.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: That will make me cry because we're gonna need it. That's coming in September. She's having lots feelings about it.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: I bet.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you for bringing that.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: Not just because we need it now. Like, we'll get her clean ones, and those are okay, though, but it's such a memory.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm so glad it won't be another one where she can't eat by mouth. Like, she can still eat. Right? It's just adding calories?
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Yes. Yes.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: Because that was Well That was terrible.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: That those two years where she couldn't eat by mouth. Yes. That was awful. The we don't know for sure, but that's what we think. She is doing some aspirating, and they are gonna do another sleep study and another swallow study.
• 31:21
  Okay. So they will measure all of those things. We just have that meeting. So even that, we're catching up on, like, together, you and me. Yeah.
• 31:35
  But we're getting those things scheduled. The sleep studies are backed up all the way till February.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's bizarre.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: And the doctor, when he was on the phone with him, was like, no. She can't do that. She won't be alive in February. And he was like, what? So we had a little chat to clarify that, and it was like, no.
• 32:02
  It's it's urgent. We need if you're gonna need the teaching, we need to get it in. Yeah. And so we are on with all these other things going on and with all her pre ops happening, we're on alert that we could be called any day by 06:00 to go do the sleep study right then. So, like, we're back to go back and then also can relax every day after 06:00.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Except one day, they called us at 06:17.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Six seven. And oh my goodness.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you, B. Welcome. Because it was after six, I wasn't watching my phone at all, so we missed it.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: Somebody else got to go.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It's been a long time since she's had all those electrodes glued to her.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: She's not excited about it when she realized what they were talking about. And it's just she's I mean, she's she's a middle schooler who cares a lot about playing with makeup and hair. Yeah. And that glue is so hard to get out. But I talked her through it, like, the same as we've always done with some Dawn dish soap every day for a couple days and shampooing in the shower, and it'll go away.
• 33:34
  But she's not excited, not happy about it. We're gonna try to get it done before school starts, though. So Good. I do you know that I had the best conversation with Amber?
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: No.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: With like, she just randomly like, I don't know what brought it up. I mean, things we've had really good interactions, but something something happened so that something clicked. I don't know how or what or why, but we just had a really good conversation, and she talked about what happened when she left Idaho.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: And what that was like for her and why she was wrestling with it. I'm gonna say it that way. Why she was wrestling with what she was wrestling with and, Like, apologize for some things, actually. Edit this part out. But apologize for some things, but also stay true to her own feelings and then talked about how she knows she's grown since then.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: And that she can see that and how she's not the same as she was then.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: Like, even just from a year ago, I feel like she is happier and mentally healthier.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Had some breakthroughs. Yeah. It's so different depending on who they're paying attention to. Like, who they're dating or spending time with or wanting to date or Yeah. All and, like, no shame in that.
• 35:37
  That's developmentally appropriate. But all of the big feelings around all of that, you can really feel when those are healthy relationships or when they're not or when that's hard or when they're being treated. Maybe I would say when they're being treated well or not.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I worry a little bit about Kirk with that of because he's working two jobs now. And, like, he'll say things that like not inappropriate things, but he'll talk about things in a way that we never would talk about them at home. And, you know, he's just sort of parroting the things he's heard on the job or, like things about politics or or different things like that. And
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: How are doing back there, B?
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Surviving.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: You ready for a very quick nap before a 3AM trip to the airport?
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: I low key think I'm not gonna be able to sleep.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Well,
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: this is
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: our only chance. This I can't believe the adventure we're on where, of course, we're, like, going through 12,000,000,000 airports and
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: People moving here and shuffling and this hospital and that hospital and all the things.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's been a while since we've done all the things quite on this epic of the scale.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. And classic to us with almost no notice, and it's like, maybe this, maybe that. Go time. Go. Now.
• 37:13
  Now. Now. That's what it feels like.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: I feel ambitious on the parking. Okay. I know we're all asleep. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about catching people up since we had the moment?
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: I can't think of anything specific. This is good to catch up? Yay.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what to say. I'm so tired.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: Say good night, everybody.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: It's 12:40AM.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: My brain thinks it's 02:40AM. Good for you, papa. Yeah. Good for you.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: And we're getting ready to go to the next airport
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: At in two hours. Mm-mm.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: Papa, are you gonna be able to go to sleep without the CPAP? Well, I figured it would be a short enough time that I wasn't worried about the CPAP. Oh, okay. Because I'm like, dude, I'm worried, dude. You you always carry your CPAP when you go to sleep, man.
• 38:25
  I know. Ordinarily, I wouldn't sleep without it, but I figured this would be basically just a short nap, and I would be okay.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not okay. We'll see
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: if I shake the whole house with my snoring.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Okay. Good night, everybody.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Dee, was there anything you wanted to say? You're just playing your game.
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: You are.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: Alright. Thank you so much.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: You're welcome. Good night.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to us and for all of your support for the podcast, our books, and them being donated to survivors and the community. It means so much to us as we try to create something that's never been done before, not like this. Connection brings healing, and healing brings hope.