Latest / Romancing the Threshold / The Art of Falling in Love with the In‑Between

Transcript

The Art of Falling in Love with the In‑Between · Romancing the Threshold

• 0:47
  It's a moment before the door opens when your hand hovers over
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  the handle and the
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  SPEAKER_00: air feels charged.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can hear your own breath.
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  You can feel the weight of what's on the other side,
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  even if you can't name it yet.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's the space I want to explore with you.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Romancing the Threshold,
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  SPEAKER_00: the podcast where we don't rush through change,
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  SPEAKER_00: but romance it,
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  SPEAKER_00: where we linger in the in-between,
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  SPEAKER_00: court the unknown,
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  SPEAKER_00: and discover the soulfulness hidden in every crossing.
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  SPEAKER_00: To romance the threshold is to approach the liminal space with its unique
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  SPEAKER_00: geography,
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  SPEAKER_00: those moments of transition,
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  SPEAKER_00: uncertainty,
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  SPEAKER_00: and of becoming.
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  Not with fear or urgency,
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  but with tenderness,
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  imagination,
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  curiosity,
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  and a little devotion.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's about the art of wooing the unknown.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because as we know,
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  SPEAKER_00: change is rarely easy,
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  SPEAKER_00: but it doesn't need to be stripped of delight or of joy.
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  SPEAKER_00: We can learn to embrace the unknown through wooing,
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  SPEAKER_00: through courtship,
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  SPEAKER_00: and open ourselves to the creative possibilities in the transition.
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  SPEAKER_00: One of the stories,
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  SPEAKER_00: one of the types of stories that remind us of this is romance stories,
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  SPEAKER_00: love stories,
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  SPEAKER_00: the fairy tales,
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  SPEAKER_00: the myths.
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  SPEAKER_00: They show us how to hold desire without rushing to the resolution.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's about lingering in the uncertainty and trusting in the unfolding.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a slow burn of romance.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's moving from enemies to lovers.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's about second chances.
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  SPEAKER_00: These stories teach us that every threshold can be a love story.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I invite you to call on the romantic self,
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  call on the part of you that wants to show up to change with
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  curiosity as if you're
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  SPEAKER_00: falling in love for the first time.
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  Now,
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  in this podcast,
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  I hope to invite you to four things as we go through the
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  episodes.
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  And these are part of the four tenets of this podcast and the
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  inspiration behind it.
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  SPEAKER_00: The number one is softness in transition.
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  It's about letting ourselves be held by the moment instead of
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  grin and bearing it,
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  SPEAKER_00: instead of bracing against it,
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  SPEAKER_00: tensing up.
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  It's about relaxing,
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  taking that deep breath that allows us to be more present in
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  the moment.
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  SPEAKER_00: It changes everything.
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  It's that softness that we see in love stories when everything
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  is geared up to that
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  moment of declaration and we take a deep breath and soften
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  ourselves into that
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  SPEAKER_00: moment.
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  SPEAKER_00: Number two, it's the idea of pleasure in uncertainty.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's about finding beauty with curiosity in the not knowing.
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  SPEAKER_00: We have to learn to look for beauty in things,
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  SPEAKER_00: to be tickled fancy,
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  SPEAKER_00: to find the whimsy,
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  SPEAKER_00: to find the joy or the pleasure in
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  SPEAKER_00: even when we have no idea what's going to happen.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yes, easier said than done.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I think when we do try to do this, it helps immensely.
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  SPEAKER_00: It helps immensely us to move through transitions with more ease.
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  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't delete the anxieties.
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  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't answer all the questions,
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  SPEAKER_00: but it allows us to be more at ease and thus being more open to
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  out of the left field answers to the questions we are carrying
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  through the transition.
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  SPEAKER_00: Number three is the idea of intimacy with the shadow.
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  This is the space for us to make for the parts of ourselves
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  that we have been
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  SPEAKER_00: taught to hide,
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  SPEAKER_00: that we have been embarrassed,
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  SPEAKER_00: ashamed,
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  SPEAKER_00: that we never want to touch it.
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  All the parts of us that we put it in the box down in the
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  basement and we forgot to look for it.
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  SPEAKER_00: But these parts don't go away.
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  SPEAKER_00: They continue to demand our attention directly or indirectly.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the idea of intimacy with the shadow,
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  I find it one of the places that we can really look at it is
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  through romance
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  SPEAKER_00: stories,
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  especially the fairy tales or the monster romance stories where
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  the other is often
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  SPEAKER_00: portrayed as a real monster.
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  SPEAKER_00: And through the transformation,
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  SPEAKER_00: actually,
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  SPEAKER_00: sorry,
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  SPEAKER_00: through love,
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  SPEAKER_00: it is transformed and then acknowledged.
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  So this is an important part in exploring the threshold because
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  at the threshold is
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  SPEAKER_00: where we meet a lot of our shadow work,
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  SPEAKER_00: the parts of us that are demanding acknowledgement and
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  SPEAKER_00: It's the return of the repressed,
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  SPEAKER_00: the return of the parts of ourselves that we were taught to hide.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so when they come back, they are really, really oftentimes upset.
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  And we have to approach them with a bit more tenderness before
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  we can really relate to them.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I think this is an important part.
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  SPEAKER_00: How do we cultivate intimacy with the shadow?
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  And this is a theme that I want to explore further because in a
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  lot of mythology,
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  SPEAKER_00: in a lot of fairy tales,
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  SPEAKER_00: and now with the monster romances,
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  SPEAKER_00: with the fantasy books or the romantic books,
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  there's a lot of this exploration of the shadow through the
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  other being so
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  SPEAKER_00: different,
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  SPEAKER_00: being so monstrous.
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  And I think this is a very relevant topic for us in the moment
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  that we're living
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  SPEAKER_00: currently in our culture.
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  SPEAKER_00: Number four is approaching cycles with a mythic awareness.
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  So this is about remembering that every ending is also the
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  beginning,
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  but it's in disguise.
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  SPEAKER_00: What I've noticed in working with astrology and psychology,
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  SPEAKER_00: studying history,
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  SPEAKER_00: is that change has a certain geography.
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  SPEAKER_00: There are certain points that they may not be the same, but they rhyme.
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  SPEAKER_00: Joseph Campbell talked about this with The Hero's Journey,
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  SPEAKER_00: where he outlined kind of the key points of a story.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I think when we approach cycles in life of change,
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  SPEAKER_00: of beginning,
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  SPEAKER_00: middle,
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  SPEAKER_00: and end,
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  SPEAKER_00: and we can understand that there's an archetypal
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  SPEAKER_00: unfolding, we can better prepare ourselves for change.
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  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that everything is going to be the same.
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  SPEAKER_00: As I said, they rhyme.
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  SPEAKER_00: They're not the same.
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  But it allows us to be more open to what might be unfolding
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  rather than bracing
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  SPEAKER_00: ourselves,
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  SPEAKER_00: being so tense when we're going through change.
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  SPEAKER_00: I think this also helps us understand better what is the unfolding of the
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  SPEAKER_00: collective change that we are going through.
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  SPEAKER_00: So to understand cycles,
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  SPEAKER_00: The archetypal parts of the cycle really help us to navigate change.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is what I like to call the landscape of the liminal, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: There's a geography to it.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we go through these parts.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the invitation here is for you to notice this in your own life.
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  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like for you?
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  SPEAKER_00: What are the images that come up for you?
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  SPEAKER_00: So these are not just ideas.
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  SPEAKER_00: These are sort of practices that I'm inviting you to do.
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  I'm including myself in it because as humans,
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  we both love change,
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  but we also resist it.
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  And so these are practices that I hope that together we can
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  implement in our lives,
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  SPEAKER_00: bring into our lives.
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  And this might help not just ourselves,
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  but even those close to us navigate change.
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  SPEAKER_00: As I've said before, change is inevitable.
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  SPEAKER_00: Often change is considered stressful.
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  SPEAKER_00: It brings up a lot of anxieties and uncertainty.
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  But I believe that we can approach change and move through it
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  with more curiosity,
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  SPEAKER_00: love,
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  SPEAKER_00: creativity.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, the other part of this podcast, Romancing the Threshold, is that
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  SPEAKER_00: I see this podcast as the hearth, the center of the work I'm creating.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I have two sub-stack publications.
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  One is called On Liminality and the other one is The Healing
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  Power of Fluff.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is the more recent publication.
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  The onliminality is where I explore the thresholds of life
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  through change,
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  SPEAKER_00: grief,
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  SPEAKER_00: longing,
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  SPEAKER_00: becoming.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I'm doing that through the mythic and astrological lens.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's where I talk more about astrology,
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  SPEAKER_00: not for the day-to-day astrology,
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  SPEAKER_00: but the astrology of life.
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  The archetypal part of astrology that helps us understand
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  change in our lives,
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  SPEAKER_00: phases,
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  SPEAKER_00: and how can we best relate to the planetary archetypes.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now,
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  SPEAKER_00: The Healing Power of Fluff,
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  SPEAKER_00: a more recent publication,
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  SPEAKER_00: is where I'm focusing my writing on the emotional truth and elements,
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  SPEAKER_00: tropes and themes of romance books,
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  SPEAKER_00: of stories.
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  SPEAKER_00: Of course,
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  SPEAKER_00: weaving psychology,
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  SPEAKER_00: bringing in some of the astrology,
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  SPEAKER_00: but looking at stories as a way to guide us through change.
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  SPEAKER_00: With joy, play and curiosity.
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  SPEAKER_00: The healing power of fluff has actually a longer,
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  SPEAKER_00: much more sort of many years ago story,
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  which is it was the title of my master's in counseling
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  psychology thesis when I
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  SPEAKER_00: wrote my thesis back in grad school.
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  SPEAKER_00: I was exploring,
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  SPEAKER_00: walking through cinema therapy,
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  SPEAKER_00: exploring romantic comedies and dreams,
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  working with movies as if you were working with dreams to
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  explore the inner journey
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  SPEAKER_00: that a heroine does or goes through in search for romantic love.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so that was the thesis,
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  SPEAKER_00: the healing power of fluff,
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  SPEAKER_00: because for me,
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  SPEAKER_00: while fluff is dismissed as,
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  SPEAKER_00: well,
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  SPEAKER_00: fluff,
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  SPEAKER_00: it is actually,
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  SPEAKER_00: it actually has a lot of depth,
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  SPEAKER_00: right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So in the healing power of fluff,
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  SPEAKER_00: I want to look at things that we may consider as guilty pleasures,
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  SPEAKER_00: just fluff.
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  They're inconsequential,
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  kind of like romance books have this strange place in our
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  culture.
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  SPEAKER_00: They're both loved, but also disrespected.
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  But underneath that fluff,
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  there's actually a lot of depth when we explore them with
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  curiosity.
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  SPEAKER_00: So that's the kind of the two places where I'm creating and I'm writing.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the podcast,
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  SPEAKER_00: Romancing the Threshold,
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  really is the hearth where I'm trying to bridge these two parts
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  of myself.
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  SPEAKER_00: The onliminality is my astrologer, my sort of more professional side.
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  SPEAKER_00: Healing Power Fluff is a place for my romantic self.
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  SPEAKER_00: And here they come together.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this podcast in and of itself is a romance in the making.
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  SPEAKER_00: I've got the inspiration.
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  SPEAKER_00: I've got sort of an idea, kind of like falling in love.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's in the beginning.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's the early stages of this love affair.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I don't have a full plan yet.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how this podcast will go.
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  I don't know if it's a happy ever after or if it's a happy for
• 13:25
  now type of situation.
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  SPEAKER_00: But the point is that together,
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm inviting you to join me on this journey,
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  SPEAKER_00: is that like any good love story,
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  SPEAKER_00: this podcast will unfold on its own time.
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  It's going to have its own surprises,
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  its unexpected swerves,
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  its plot twists.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you are here with me on this exploration.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now,
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  The idea that I do have for the podcast and that I want to try
• 13:56
  out in the coming
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  SPEAKER_00: weeks is that I will have solo episodes like this one.
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  SPEAKER_00: I want to have Q&As.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this is where your help is going to be really needed,
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  where you can send me your questions and we can kind of compile
• 14:12
  them together and
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  SPEAKER_00: create Q&A episodes.
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  SPEAKER_00: I also want to have interviews with other astrologers,
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  SPEAKER_00: authors,
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  other types of healers on the topic of how can we better go
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  through transitions?
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  SPEAKER_00: How do we navigate change?
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  SPEAKER_00: How do we embrace and romance life in that moment?
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  SPEAKER_00: I also want to talk about books,
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  SPEAKER_00: of course,
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  SPEAKER_00: and archetypes and really the deep magic that we can find in liminality.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now,
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  SPEAKER_00: actually,
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  SPEAKER_00: the next episode will be an interview with my friend and mentor,
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  SPEAKER_00: astrologer Brian Clark.
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  SPEAKER_00: And in that conversation, we are exploring the theme of the threshold.
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  SPEAKER_00: What does it mean?
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  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like?
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  SPEAKER_00: And the power of myth.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: in navigating threshold experiences in life.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this is the gist of the podcast.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is just an intro for it.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I invite you to join in, really think about it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Think about this moment in your life.
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  SPEAKER_00: What kind of threshold are you about to cross or maybe you're crossing?
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  SPEAKER_00: And together, let's woo the unknown.
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  SPEAKER_00: Let's romance it rather than grin and bear it.
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  So before we go,
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  before we sign off,
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  I invite you to do a little practice.
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  You know,
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  something that you can walk away and bring it into your own
• 15:40
  life.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this week, I invite you to think about
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  SPEAKER_00: a part of your life that you're sort of hovering at that doorway.
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  You're the one standing at that doorway about to turn the
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  handle down and open it.
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  And this pause on the threshold,
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  maybe it's about a decision that you haven't made yet.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's about a conversation that you've been avoiding.
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  Or maybe it's about a dream that you're not quite yet ready to
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  name it out loud.
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  So instead of rushing through it,
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  I invite you to linger a little bit more at that pause.
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  And I want you to ask yourself,
• 16:26
  what would it feel like to romance this moment?
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  SPEAKER_00: If this moment in your life was a love story,
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  SPEAKER_00: the beginning of a love story,
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  SPEAKER_00: how would you go about it?
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  SPEAKER_00: How would you romance it?
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to take this further,
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe to help you move through it,
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  SPEAKER_00: I invite you to light a candle,
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  SPEAKER_00: write down on your journal,
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  SPEAKER_00: what are you afraid of?
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  SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps, what are you secretly hoping for?
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  SPEAKER_00: Or if you prefer to be more active, I invite you to go outside.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you can,
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  SPEAKER_00: go into nature and go with this question in your mind,
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  SPEAKER_00: what would it feel like to romance this moment?
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  SPEAKER_00: and see what nature responds back to you.
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  SPEAKER_00: So that's the exercise.
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  Or maybe if you want to keep it really,
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  really simple,
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  then just try taking a few deep breaths.
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  SPEAKER_00: and see what rises.
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  SPEAKER_00: Where does it feel in your body?
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  This tension,
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  perhaps the anxiety,
• 17:31
  maybe the excitement about this threshold.
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  SPEAKER_00: What does it feel in your body?
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  SPEAKER_00: And maybe by paying attention to where it is,
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  SPEAKER_00: an image or a sound,
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  or maybe even a song lyric might come up for you that could
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  help you move through
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  SPEAKER_00: this threshold.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's my invitation to you.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you really want to share it,
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  SPEAKER_00: how you went about with the exercise,
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: and if you had any insights,
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  SPEAKER_00: I invite you to leave it in the comments.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Leave your answer in the comments.
• 18:03
  Well,
• 18:03
  this is just the first episode,
• 18:06
  our first date at Romancing the Threshold.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what it is.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Romancing the Threshold is here for,
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: to help us court change with imagination,
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: curiosity,
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: and soul.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's to remind us that every crossing is an invitation.
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  And if you enjoyed this episode,
• 18:28
  I hope you stay with me on this journey.
• 18:30
  I love it for you to subscribe to either my Healing Power Fluff
• 18:34
  or the Unliminality Substack.
• 18:38
  If you also have a friend that you think would enjoy this type
• 18:41
  of podcast,
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: please share it with them.
• 18:44
  And of course,
• 18:45
  send me your comments and your questions for the future Q&A
• 18:48
  episodes.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time,
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: go gently,
• 18:53
  go boldly into the in-between with curiosity for what awaits at
• 18:59
  the threshold.