Latest / The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning / She Knew Something Was Wrong… So She Kept Pushing | The Fondle Project Founder Gina Lamanna

Transcript

She Knew Something Was Wrong… So She Kept Pushing | The Fondle Project Founder Gina Lamanna · The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning

• 0:00
  The
• 0:00
  first
• 0:00
  time
• 0:00
  you
• 0:01
  saw
• 0:01
  your
• 0:01
  body,
• 0:02
  when
• 0:02
  it
• 0:02
  looked
• 0:02
  different,
• 0:03
  what
• 0:03
  was
• 0:03
  that?
• 0:04
  Getting
• 0:04
  dressed
• 0:05
  was
• 0:05
  part
• 0:05
  of
• 0:05
  my
• 0:05
  healing.
• 0:06
  Like,
• 0:07
  I
• 0:07
  really
• 0:07
  looked
• 0:07
  forward
• 0:07
  to
• 0:08
  getting
• 0:08
  dressed.
• 0:08
  On
• 0:08
  the
• 0:08
  days
• 0:09
  that
• 0:09
  I
• 0:09
  didn't
• 0:09
  feel
• 0:10
  great,
• 0:10
  I
• 0:11
  would
• 0:11
  put
• 0:11
  on
• 0:11
  a
• 0:11
  pretty
• 0:11
  lip
• 0:12
  tint,
• 0:12
  right.
• 0:12
  Or
• 0:12
  put
• 0:13
  on
• 0:13
  some
• 0:13
  pretty
• 0:13
  jewelry,
• 0:14
  because
• 0:15
  from
• 0:15
  here
• 0:15
  down
• 0:16
  just
• 0:16
  didn't
• 0:16
  feel
• 0:16
  right
• 0:17
  no
• 0:17
  matter
• 0:17
  what
• 0:17
  I
• 0:17
  put
• 0:18
  on.
• 0:18
  You're
• 0:18
  healing,
• 0:19
  but
• 0:19
  you're
• 0:19
  also
• 0:20
  putting
• 0:20
  yourself
• 0:20
  back
• 0:21
  out
• 0:21
  there.
• 0:21
  My
• 0:22
  first
• 0:22
  round
• 0:23
  of
• 0:23
  dating
• 0:23
  was
• 0:23
  like,
• 0:24
  I'm
• 0:24
  just
• 0:24
  going
• 0:24
  to
• 0:24
  be
• 0:25
  up
• 0:25
  front
• 0:26
  and
• 0:26
  tell
• 0:26
  these
• 0:26
  gentlemen
• 0:27
  right
• 0:28
  away.
• 0:28
  Then
• 0:28
  the
• 0:29
  next
• 0:29
  round,
• 0:30
  I
• 0:30
  was
• 0:30
  like,
• 0:30
  okay,
• 0:31
  I'm
• 0:31
  going
• 0:31
  to
• 0:31
  tell
• 0:32
  these
• 0:32
  men
• 0:33
  on
• 0:33
  my
• 0:33
  watch,
• 0:33
  on
• 0:34
  my
• 0:34
  time,
• 0:34
  when
• 0:35
  I
• 0:35
  feel
• 0:35
  ready
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  comfortable.
• 0:37
  When
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  are
• 0:37
  faced
• 0:38
  with
• 0:38
  cancer,
• 0:39
  all
• 0:39
  you're
• 0:39
  doing
• 0:39
  is
• 0:40
  trying
• 0:40
  to
• 0:40
  survive.
• 0:41
  I
• 0:41
  don't
• 0:41
  think
• 0:42
  I
• 0:42
  really,
• 0:42
  truly
• 0:42
  started
• 0:43
  to
• 0:43
  heal
• 0:44
  until,
• 0:44
  like,
• 0:45
  two
• 0:45
  years,
• 0:46
  three
• 0:46
  years
• 0:46
  after
• 0:47
  I
• 0:47
  removed
• 0:47
  my
• 0:47
  implants
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  started,
• 0:49
  like,
• 0:49
  therapy
• 0:50
  and
• 0:50
  started
• 0:51
  taking
• 0:51
  true,
• 0:52
  like,
• 0:52
  care
• 0:53
  of
• 0:53
  my
• 0:53
  body
• 0:53
  and
• 0:54
  seeing
• 0:54
  what
• 0:54
  it
• 0:54
  was
• 0:54
  now
• 0:55
  capable
• 0:55
  of.
• 0:56
  It's
• 0:56
  so
• 0:56
  empowering
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  know
• 0:58
  your
• 0:58
  body.
• 1:04
  Today's
• 1:05
  guest
• 1:05
  is
• 1:06
  the
• 1:06
  kind
• 1:06
  of
• 1:06
  woman
• 1:06
  who
• 1:07
  forces
• 1:07
  you
• 1:07
  to
• 1:07
  rethink
• 1:08
  what
• 1:08
  it
• 1:09
  means
• 1:09
  to
• 1:09
  trust
• 1:10
  yourself.
• 1:11
  Because
• 1:11
  what
• 1:11
  happens
• 1:12
  when
• 1:12
  you're
• 1:12
  told
• 1:12
  you're
• 1:13
  fine,
• 1:13
  but
• 1:14
  you
• 1:14
  know
• 1:14
  you're
• 1:14
  not?
• 1:15
  What
• 1:15
  happens
• 1:16
  when
• 1:16
  your
• 1:16
  life
• 1:16
  is
• 1:16
  already
• 1:17
  shifting,
• 1:17
  your
• 1:18
  marriage,
• 1:18
  your
• 1:18
  identity,
• 1:19
  and
• 1:19
  then
• 1:19
  everything
• 1:20
  changes
• 1:20
  again.
• 1:21
  Gina
• 1:21
  is
• 1:22
  the
• 1:22
  founder
• 1:22
  of
• 1:23
  the
• 1:23
  Fondl
• 1:23
  Project,
• 1:24
  a
• 1:24
  platform
• 1:25
  that's
• 1:25
  redefining
• 1:26
  how
• 1:26
  women
• 1:27
  think
• 1:27
  about
• 1:27
  their
• 1:27
  bodies,
• 1:28
  their
• 1:28
  choices,
• 1:29
  and
• 1:29
  their
• 1:30
  power.
• 1:30
  But
• 1:31
  her
• 1:31
  story
• 1:31
  goes
• 1:32
  far
• 1:32
  beyond
• 1:32
  that.
• 1:33
  This
• 1:34
  is
• 1:34
  a
• 1:34
  conversation
• 1:35
  about
• 1:35
  intuition,
• 1:36
  about
• 1:36
  being
• 1:36
  dismissed
• 1:37
  and
• 1:37
  deciding
• 1:38
  not
• 1:38
  to
• 1:38
  accept
• 1:38
  it,
• 1:39
  about
• 1:39
  rebuilding
• 1:40
  not
• 1:40
  just
• 1:40
  your
• 1:40
  body,
• 1:41
  but
• 1:41
  your
• 1:41
  sense
• 1:41
  of
• 1:42
  self.
• 1:42
  And
• 1:43
  it's
• 1:43
  also
• 1:43
  about
• 1:43
  something
• 1:44
  we
• 1:44
  don't
• 1:44
  talk
• 1:45
  about
• 1:45
  enough,
• 1:46
  how
• 1:46
  a
• 1:46
  relationship
• 1:47
  can
• 1:47
  end
• 1:47
  and
• 1:48
  still
• 1:48
  evolve
• 1:49
  into
• 1:49
  something
• 1:49
  meaningful.
• 1:50
  If
• 1:51
  you've
• 1:51
  ever
• 1:51
  questioned
• 1:52
  yourself,
• 1:52
  if
• 1:53
  you've
• 1:53
  ever
• 1:53
  been
• 1:54
  told
• 1:54
  to
• 1:54
  wait,
• 1:54
  to
• 1:55
  calm
• 1:55
  down,
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  not
• 1:56
  make
• 1:56
  a
• 1:57
  big
• 1:57
  deal
• 1:57
  out
• 1:57
  of
• 1:57
  something
• 1:58
  that
• 1:58
  didn't
• 1:58
  feel
• 1:59
  right.
• 1:59
  This
• 2:00
  episode
• 2:00
  is
• 2:01
  going
• 2:01
  to
• 2:01
  stay
• 2:01
  with
• 2:02
  you.
• 2:02
  So
• 2:02
  follow
• 2:03
  the
• 2:03
  show
• 2:03
  wherever
• 2:04
  you
• 2:04
  get
• 2:04
  your
• 2:04
  podcasts,
• 2:05
  and
• 2:05
  let's
• 2:06
  get
• 2:06
  into
• 2:06
  it.
• 2:06
  I'm
• 2:07
  thrilled
• 2:07
  to
• 2:07
  welcome
• 2:08
  you
• 2:08
  back
• 2:08
  to
• 2:08
  the
• 2:08
  iconic
• 2:09
  Midlife
• 2:09
  Gina.
• 2:10
  Thank
• 2:10
  you
• 2:10
  so
• 2:10
  much.
• 2:11
  Excited
• 2:11
  to
• 2:11
  be
• 2:12
  here.
• 2:12
  Thanks
• 2:12
  for
• 2:12
  having
• 2:12
  me.
• 2:13
  Yes,
• 2:13
  absolutely.
• 2:14
  I
• 2:15
  kind
• 2:15
  of
• 2:15
  want
• 2:15
  to
• 2:15
  take
• 2:15
  it
• 2:16
  back
• 2:16
  a
• 2:16
  little
• 2:16
  bit
• 2:17
  to
• 2:17
  a
• 2:17
  time
• 2:18
  about
• 2:18
  a
• 2:18
  decade
• 2:19
  ago.
• 2:19
  God
• 2:19
  has
• 2:20
  it.
• 2:20
  Yeah,
• 2:20
  about
• 2:21
  a
• 2:21
  decade
• 2:21
  ago,
• 2:22
  when
• 2:22
  you
• 2:23
  went
• 2:23
  through,
• 2:23
  like,
• 2:23
  a
• 2:24
  very
• 2:24
  major
• 2:25
  health
• 2:26
  turning
• 2:27
  point
• 2:27
  in
• 2:27
  your
• 2:27
  life.
• 2:28
  But
• 2:28
  it
• 2:28
  wasn't
• 2:28
  even
• 2:29
  just
• 2:29
  that.
• 2:29
  It
• 2:29
  was
• 2:30
  like
• 2:30
  you
• 2:30
  were
• 2:30
  also
• 2:30
  going
• 2:31
  through
• 2:31
  a
• 2:31
  separation.
• 2:32
  So
• 2:33
  let's
• 2:33
  walk
• 2:33
  back
• 2:33
  to.
• 2:34
  Was
• 2:34
  that
• 2:34
  2015?
• 2:35
  I
• 2:36
  was
• 2:36
  officially
• 2:37
  diagnosed
• 2:37
  in
• 2:38
  2016.
• 2:39
  So
• 2:39
  just
• 2:39
  about
• 2:40
  nine
• 2:40
  plus
• 2:40
  years.
• 2:41
  Gosh.
• 2:42
  Starting
• 2:42
  at
• 2:42
  the
• 2:43
  age
• 2:43
  of
• 2:43
  30,
• 2:44
  I
• 2:44
  was
• 2:44
  put
• 2:45
  on
• 2:45
  a
• 2:45
  rotation
• 2:46
  of
• 2:48
  mammograms
• 2:48
  and
• 2:48
  ultrasounds
• 2:49
  every
• 2:49
  six
• 2:49
  months
• 2:50
  because
• 2:50
  my
• 2:50
  mother
• 2:51
  had
• 2:51
  breast
• 2:51
  cancer
• 2:52
  in
• 2:52
  her
• 2:52
  mid-60s.
• 2:53
  So
• 2:54
  that
• 2:54
  put
• 2:54
  me
• 2:54
  at
• 2:54
  a
• 2:54
  higher
• 2:54
  risk
• 2:55
  category.
• 2:56
  So
• 2:56
  starting
• 2:56
  at
• 2:56
  the
• 2:56
  age
• 2:56
  of
• 2:57
  30,
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  was
• 2:58
  put
• 2:58
  into
• 2:59
  mammograms
• 3:00
  and
• 3:00
  ultrasounds
• 3:01
  every
• 3:01
  six
• 3:01
  months.
• 3:02
  And
• 3:03
  ultrasounds
• 3:04
  were
• 3:04
  the
• 3:04
  additional
• 3:04
  because
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  had
• 3:05
  dense
• 3:05
  breasts.
• 3:06
  So
• 3:06
  that
• 3:06
  was
• 3:07
  very,
• 3:07
  very
• 3:07
  important
• 3:07
  screening
• 3:08
  for
• 3:08
  me.
• 3:08
  Same,
• 3:09
  same.
• 3:10
  It
• 3:10
  scares
• 3:10
  me,
• 3:10
  you
• 3:11
  know,
• 3:11
  don't
• 3:11
  let.
• 3:12
  It
• 3:12
  scare
• 3:12
  you,
• 3:12
  but
• 3:13
  a
• 3:13
  lot.
• 3:13
  I'm
• 3:13
  glad
• 3:14
  that
• 3:14
  you
• 3:14
  are
• 3:14
  aware
• 3:14
  of
• 3:15
  this
• 3:15
  because
• 3:15
  there's
• 3:15
  many
• 3:15
  women
• 3:16
  that
• 3:16
  are
• 3:16
  not
• 3:16
  aware
• 3:17
  or
• 3:17
  know
• 3:17
  that
• 3:18
  they
• 3:18
  have
• 3:18
  dense
• 3:18
  bre.
• 3:19
  So
• 3:20
  start
• 3:20
  at
• 3:20
  the
• 3:20
  age
• 3:21
  of
• 3:21
  30,
• 3:21
  ultrasounds
• 3:22
  and
• 3:22
  mammograms
• 3:23
  every
• 3:23
  six
• 3:24
  months,
• 3:25
  and
• 3:25
  then
• 3:25
  fast
• 3:26
  forward
• 3:26
  to
• 3:26
  the
• 3:27
  age
• 3:27
  of
• 3:27
  41.
• 3:29
  Normal
• 3:30
  mammogram,
• 3:31
  normal
• 3:32
  ultrasound.
• 3:33
  However,
• 3:33
  during
• 3:34
  those
• 3:34
  years
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  between
• 3:35
  all
• 3:36
  of
• 3:36
  my
• 3:36
  screenings,
• 3:37
  I
• 3:37
  was
• 3:37
  constantly
• 3:38
  fondling
• 3:39
  my
• 3:39
  breasts,
• 3:39
  performing
• 3:40
  myself
• 3:40
  exams.
• 3:41
  During
• 3:41
  that
• 3:42
  time
• 3:42
  between
• 3:43
  a
• 3:43
  normal
• 3:43
  ultrasound
• 3:44
  and
• 3:44
  a
• 3:44
  normal
• 3:45
  mammogram,
• 3:45
  I
• 3:46
  felt
• 3:46
  something.
• 3:46
  I
• 3:46
  felt
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  lump
• 3:47
  on
• 3:47
  my
• 3:47
  right
• 3:47
  side,
• 3:48
  and
• 3:48
  I
• 3:48
  brought
• 3:48
  it
• 3:49
  to
• 3:49
  my
• 3:49
  doctor's
• 3:49
  attention,
• 3:51
  went
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  go
• 3:51
  see
• 3:51
  her
• 3:52
  again.
• 3:53
  She
• 3:53
  decided
• 3:53
  to
• 3:53
  give
• 3:54
  me
• 3:54
  another
• 3:54
  ultrasound
• 3:55
  on
• 3:55
  site
• 3:56
  was
• 3:56
  an
• 3:56
  agreement
• 3:57
  that
• 3:57
  she
• 3:57
  felt
• 3:57
  it.
• 3:57
  But
• 3:58
  when
• 3:58
  she
• 3:58
  did
• 3:58
  an
• 3:58
  ultrasound,
• 3:59
  there
• 3:59
  was
• 3:59
  nothing
• 4:00
  alarming.
• 4:01
  And
• 4:01
  she
• 4:01
  had
• 4:01
  shared
• 4:01
  with
• 4:01
  me
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  come
• 4:02
  back
• 4:02
  in
• 4:02
  six
• 4:03
  months.
• 4:03
  And
• 4:03
  at
• 4:03
  that
• 4:04
  time,
• 4:04
  I
• 4:04
  was
• 4:04
  newly
• 4:04
  separated,
• 4:06
  just
• 4:06
  turned
• 4:07
  41,
• 4:07
  two
• 4:08
  little
• 4:08
  girls.
• 4:08
  And
• 4:09
  I
• 4:09
  was
• 4:09
  like,
• 4:09
  hey,
• 4:10
  look,
• 4:10
  you
• 4:10
  know,
• 4:11
  something's
• 4:12
  telling
• 4:12
  me
• 4:13
  to
• 4:13
  pursue
• 4:13
  this
• 4:13
  a
• 4:13
  little
• 4:14
  further.
• 4:14
  What
• 4:14
  would
• 4:14
  be
• 4:15
  an
• 4:15
  extra
• 4:15
  added
• 4:15
  layer
• 4:16
  of
• 4:16
  reassurance.
• 4:16
  And
• 4:16
  she
• 4:17
  had
• 4:17
  shared
• 4:17
  with
• 4:17
  me
• 4:17
  that
• 4:19
  in
• 4:19
  order
• 4:19
  for
• 4:20
  me
• 4:20
  to
• 4:22
  get
• 4:22
  or
• 4:22
  have
• 4:22
  some
• 4:23
  further
• 4:23
  screening
• 4:23
  would
• 4:23
  be
• 4:23
  a
• 4:24
  breast
• 4:24
  samurai,
• 4:24
  but
• 4:24
  my
• 4:25
  insurance
• 4:25
  wouldn't
• 4:25
  cover
• 4:25
  it,
• 4:26
  so
• 4:26
  it
• 4:26
  had
• 4:26
  to
• 4:26
  come
• 4:27
  out
• 4:27
  of
• 4:27
  my
• 4:27
  own
• 4:27
  pocket.
• 4:28
  And
• 4:28
  I
• 4:28
  was
• 4:28
  like,
• 4:28
  that's
• 4:28
  fine,
• 4:29
  Let
• 4:29
  me
• 4:29
  do
• 4:29
  this.
• 4:30
  Because
• 4:32
  women,
• 4:33
  as
• 4:33
  you
• 4:33
  know,
• 4:34
  we
• 4:34
  are
• 4:34
  so
• 4:35
  intuitive.
• 4:36
  And
• 4:37
  something
• 4:37
  in
• 4:37
  my
• 4:37
  gut,
• 4:38
  Roxy
• 4:38
  was
• 4:38
  just
• 4:39
  saying,
• 4:39
  something's
• 4:39
  not
• 4:40
  right.
• 4:40
  Go
• 4:41
  the
• 4:41
  neck
• 4:41
  do,
• 4:41
  you
• 4:41
  know,
• 4:42
  do
• 4:42
  the
• 4:42
  extra
• 4:43
  step
• 4:43
  and
• 4:43
  just
• 4:44
  follow
• 4:44
  through
• 4:44
  with
• 4:44
  this.
• 4:45
  It's
• 4:45
  probably
• 4:45
  nothing.
• 4:47
  Just.
• 4:47
  Just
• 4:48
  do
• 4:48
  this.
• 4:48
  So
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  went
• 4:49
  in
• 4:49
  for
• 4:49
  my
• 4:49
  breast
• 4:50
  mri,
• 4:52
  and
• 4:52
  unfortunately,
• 4:54
  at
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  time,
• 4:54
  they
• 4:54
  found
• 4:55
  suspicious
• 4:55
  findings
• 4:55
  which
• 4:56
  led
• 4:56
  me.
• 4:56
  Led
• 4:56
  me
• 4:57
  to
• 4:57
  another
• 4:57
  breast
• 4:58
  MRI
• 4:58
  with
• 4:59
  a
• 5:00
  biopsy.
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  remember
• 5:01
  this
• 5:02
  so
• 5:02
  clearly.
• 5:02
  My
• 5:02
  father
• 5:03
  was
• 5:03
  visiting
• 5:04
  New
• 5:04
  Jersey,
• 5:05
  and
• 5:05
  we
• 5:05
  were
• 5:06
  in
• 5:06
  the
• 5:06
  car
• 5:07
  and
• 5:07
  my
• 5:08
  doctor
• 5:08
  called
• 5:08
  to
• 5:09
  share,
• 5:09
  like,
• 5:09
  there
• 5:10
  are.
• 5:10
  There's,
• 5:11
  you
• 5:11
  know,
• 5:11
  suspicious
• 5:11
  findings
• 5:12
  and
• 5:12
  we
• 5:12
  need
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  do
• 5:13
  some.
• 5:13
  Some
• 5:13
  more
• 5:13
  tests.
• 5:14
  And
• 5:14
  I
• 5:14
  almost
• 5:15
  literally
• 5:15
  went
• 5:15
  off
• 5:15
  the
• 5:15
  road.
• 5:16
  I
• 5:16
  was
• 5:16
  like,
• 5:17
  oh,
• 5:17
  wow,
• 5:17
  this
• 5:17
  is.
• 5:18
  This
• 5:18
  isn't
• 5:18
  Good.
• 5:19
  So
• 5:20
  fast
• 5:20
  forward
• 5:21
  to
• 5:22
  going
• 5:22
  through
• 5:22
  two
• 5:23
  biopsies
• 5:23
  or
• 5:24
  and
• 5:24
  whatnot.
• 5:25
  Got
• 5:26
  the
• 5:26
  first
• 5:26
  report
• 5:26
  back
• 5:27
  from
• 5:27
  ucla.
• 5:29
  They
• 5:29
  told
• 5:29
  me
• 5:29
  it
• 5:30
  was
• 5:30
  benign,
• 5:30
  which
• 5:31
  I,
• 5:31
  you
• 5:31
  know,
• 5:31
  I
• 5:32
  did
• 5:32
  the
• 5:32
  happy
• 5:32
  dance.
• 5:33
  However,
• 5:35
  very
• 5:35
  big
• 5:35
  believer
• 5:36
  in
• 5:36
  not
• 5:36
  only
• 5:36
  being
• 5:37
  my
• 5:37
  own
• 5:37
  advocate,
• 5:37
  but
• 5:39
  getting
• 5:39
  a
• 5:39
  second
• 5:39
  and
• 5:39
  third
• 5:39
  opinion.
• 5:40
  So
• 5:41
  my
• 5:41
  ex
• 5:41
  husband
• 5:41
  and
• 5:42
  I
• 5:42
  worked
• 5:42
  together
• 5:42
  and
• 5:43
  we
• 5:44
  pursued
• 5:44
  a
• 5:44
  second
• 5:45
  and
• 5:45
  third
• 5:45
  opinion
• 5:46
  at
• 5:46
  MD
• 5:47
  Anderson
• 5:47
  and
• 5:47
  Sloan
• 5:47
  Ketter
• 5:48
  in
• 5:48
  New
• 5:48
  York.
• 5:49
  So
• 5:49
  that,
• 5:49
  remember,
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  was
• 5:50
  around
• 5:50
  like
• 5:50
  Thanksgiving.
• 5:51
  So
• 5:51
  fast
• 5:51
  forward
• 5:52
  to
• 5:52
  New
• 5:52
  Year's
• 5:52
  Eve.
• 5:53
  And
• 5:53
  in
• 5:53
  between
• 5:54
  Thanksgiving
• 5:55
  and
• 5:55
  New
• 5:55
  Year's
• 5:56
  Eve,
• 5:56
  I
• 5:56
  told
• 5:56
  my
• 5:57
  doctors
• 5:58
  when
• 5:59
  we
• 5:59
  get
• 5:59
  the
• 6:00
  results
• 6:00
  back
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  please
• 6:02
  call
• 6:02
  Stephen,
• 6:02
  my
• 6:03
  ex
• 6:03
  husband,
• 6:04
  because
• 6:04
  I
• 6:05
  did
• 6:05
  not
• 6:05
  want
• 6:05
  to
• 6:05
  do
• 6:05
  a
• 6:05
  rinse
• 6:06
  and
• 6:06
  repeat,
• 6:06
  almost
• 6:07
  going
• 6:07
  off
• 6:07
  the
• 6:07
  road
• 6:08
  or
• 6:08
  being,
• 6:09
  you
• 6:09
  know,
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  wanted
• 6:10
  to
• 6:10
  make
• 6:10
  sure
• 6:10
  that
• 6:10
  I
• 6:10
  was
• 6:10
  alone
• 6:11
  in
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  safe
• 6:12
  space
• 6:12
  and
• 6:12
  that
• 6:13
  I
• 6:13
  wasn't
• 6:13
  around
• 6:13
  my
• 6:13
  daughters
• 6:14
  just
• 6:15
  in
• 6:15
  case
• 6:15
  the
• 6:16
  news
• 6:16
  was
• 6:17
  not
• 6:18
  in
• 6:18
  my
• 6:18
  favor.
• 6:19
  So
• 6:20
  he
• 6:20
  called
• 6:20
  me
• 6:20
  on
• 6:20
  New
• 6:20
  Year's
• 6:21
  Eve
• 6:21
  when
• 6:21
  I
• 6:21
  was
• 6:21
  in
• 6:21
  Stouh,
• 6:22
  Vermont
• 6:22
  with
• 6:22
  my
• 6:23
  new
• 6:23
  partner
• 6:23
  at
• 6:24
  the
• 6:24
  time
• 6:24
  and
• 6:24
  gave
• 6:25
  me
• 6:25
  the
• 6:26
  news
• 6:26
  that
• 6:26
  it
• 6:26
  was
• 6:27
  indeed
• 6:27
  invasive
• 6:28
  ductal
• 6:28
  carcinoma.
• 6:29
  Because
• 6:29
  my
• 6:29
  doctor
• 6:30
  called
• 6:30
  him,
• 6:30
  say,
• 6:30
  okay,
• 6:31
  yes,
• 6:31
  unfortunately,
• 6:32
  it
• 6:32
  is.
• 6:33
  So
• 6:33
  that
• 6:34
  kind
• 6:34
  of.
• 6:34
  That's
• 6:35
  where
• 6:35
  my
• 6:35
  whole
• 6:35
  journey
• 6:35
  started.
• 6:36
  Fast
• 6:36
  forward
• 6:36
  to
• 6:37
  January.
• 6:38
  I
• 6:38
  had
• 6:38
  a
• 6:39
  lumpectomy
• 6:39
  at
• 6:40
  Sloan
• 6:42
  because
• 6:42
  I
• 6:42
  was
• 6:42
  there
• 6:42
  in
• 6:43
  January,
• 6:44
  dealt
• 6:44
  with
• 6:44
  it
• 6:45
  there
• 6:45
  because
• 6:45
  they
• 6:45
  were
• 6:45
  one
• 6:45
  of
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  first
• 6:46
  to
• 6:46
  come
• 6:46
  back
• 6:46
  to.
• 6:47
  To
• 6:48
  confirm
• 6:48
  that
• 6:48
  it
• 6:48
  was
• 6:48
  invasive
• 6:49
  ductal
• 6:49
  carcinoma.
• 6:50
  And
• 6:50
  then
• 6:51
  I
• 6:51
  waited
• 6:51
  for
• 6:51
  those
• 6:51
  results,
• 6:52
  and
• 6:52
  then
• 6:52
  I
• 6:53
  was
• 6:53
  given.
• 6:53
  I
• 6:54
  had
• 6:54
  two
• 6:54
  options.
• 6:54
  I
• 6:55
  had
• 6:55
  with
• 6:55
  the
• 6:56
  radical
• 6:56
  double
• 6:57
  mastectomy
• 6:58
  with
• 6:59
  radiation,
• 7:00
  or
• 7:00
  just
• 7:01
  do
• 7:02
  radiation
• 7:03
  and
• 7:03
  tamoxifen
• 7:05
  for.
• 7:05
  I
• 7:05
  think
• 7:06
  I
• 7:06
  can't.
• 7:06
  I
• 7:06
  think
• 7:06
  it
• 7:06
  was
• 7:06
  five
• 7:07
  to
• 7:07
  10
• 7:07
  years.
• 7:08
  And
• 7:08
  I
• 7:08
  declined
• 7:09
  radiation
• 7:09
  and
• 7:10
  I
• 7:10
  declined
• 7:10
  tamoxifen,
• 7:11
  and
• 7:11
  I
• 7:11
  chose
• 7:12
  the
• 7:12
  double
• 7:13
  mastectomy
• 7:13
  route.
• 7:14
  So
• 7:14
  In
• 7:14
  March
• 7:14
  of
• 7:15
  2017,
• 7:16
  I
• 7:16
  had
• 7:16
  a
• 7:16
  double
• 7:16
  mastectomy
• 7:17
  with
• 7:18
  reconstruction
• 7:18
  breast
• 7:19
  implants.
• 7:21
  But
• 7:21
  unfortunately,
• 7:22
  the
• 7:22
  breast
• 7:23
  implants
• 7:23
  didn't
• 7:23
  work
• 7:23
  for
• 7:23
  me.
• 7:24
  So
• 7:25
  within
• 7:26
  nine
• 7:26
  months.
• 7:28
  Yeah,
• 7:28
  I
• 7:28
  think
• 7:29
  within
• 7:29
  nine
• 7:29
  months
• 7:29
  I
• 7:30
  had
• 7:30
  them
• 7:30
  removed
• 7:31
  and
• 7:32
  went
• 7:32
  with
• 7:33
  a
• 7:33
  deep
• 7:34
  flap
• 7:34
  surgery.
• 7:34
  So
• 7:35
  in
• 7:35
  13
• 7:35
  months,
• 7:36
  I
• 7:36
  had
• 7:36
  six
• 7:36
  surgeries.
• 7:37
  You
• 7:37
  know,
• 7:37
  it's
• 7:38
  like
• 7:38
  you
• 7:38
  really
• 7:39
  have
• 7:39
  this
• 7:40
  thing
• 7:40
  inside
• 7:41
  you
• 7:41
  that
• 7:41
  guides
• 7:41
  you.
• 7:42
  So
• 7:42
  where,
• 7:43
  like,
• 7:43
  where
• 7:44
  did
• 7:44
  that
• 7:44
  come
• 7:44
  from?
• 7:45
  Because
• 7:45
  I
• 7:45
  know
• 7:45
  a
• 7:45
  lot
• 7:45
  of
• 7:46
  women
• 7:46
  in
• 7:46
  your
• 7:47
  shoes,
• 7:47
  if
• 7:47
  they're
• 7:48
  getting,
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  know,
• 7:49
  it's
• 7:49
  benign,
• 7:50
  you're
• 7:50
  fine.
• 7:51
  You
• 7:51
  know,
• 7:51
  they're
• 7:51
  hearing
• 7:52
  that
• 7:52
  repetitively.
• 7:54
  They
• 7:54
  would
• 7:54
  override
• 7:55
  if
• 7:55
  they
• 7:55
  had
• 7:55
  maybe
• 7:56
  a
• 7:56
  gut
• 7:56
  feeling
• 7:56
  or
• 7:57
  an
• 7:57
  intuition
• 7:57
  feeling.
• 7:58
  But
• 7:58
  you
• 7:58
  didn't.
• 7:59
  So
• 8:00
  what
• 8:00
  was
• 8:00
  the
• 8:00
  difference?
• 8:01
  You
• 8:01
  know,
• 8:01
  I
• 8:02
  think.
• 8:02
  I
• 8:02
  think
• 8:03
  it
• 8:03
  was
• 8:03
  at
• 8:03
  the
• 8:03
  Time
• 8:03
  in
• 8:03
  my
• 8:04
  life
• 8:04
  that,
• 8:04
  like,
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  just
• 8:05
  pulled
• 8:06
  the
• 8:06
  plug
• 8:06
  on
• 8:06
  my
• 8:06
  marriage
• 8:07
  and
• 8:07
  I
• 8:08
  was
• 8:08
  becoming
• 8:08
  even
• 8:08
  more
• 8:09
  in
• 8:09
  tune
• 8:09
  with
• 8:10
  my
• 8:10
  body
• 8:10
  because,
• 8:11
  look,
• 8:11
  truth
• 8:11
  be
• 8:11
  told,
• 8:12
  full
• 8:12
  transparency,
• 8:12
  I
• 8:13
  was
• 8:13
  not
• 8:13
  happily
• 8:14
  happy
• 8:14
  in
• 8:14
  my
• 8:15
  marriage.
• 8:15
  Even
• 8:15
  though
• 8:16
  we
• 8:16
  remain
• 8:16
  very
• 8:17
  close
• 8:17
  friends
• 8:17
  and
• 8:17
  co
• 8:17
  parent
• 8:18
  two
• 8:18
  daughters
• 8:19
  beautifully.
• 8:20
  I
• 8:20
  just
• 8:20
  was
• 8:21
  not
• 8:21
  happy
• 8:21
  and
• 8:21
  I
• 8:21
  kind
• 8:21
  of
• 8:22
  lost
• 8:22
  myself.
• 8:23
  And
• 8:23
  when
• 8:23
  you
• 8:24
  have
• 8:24
  kids,
• 8:24
  as
• 8:24
  you
• 8:24
  know,
• 8:25
  we
• 8:25
  tend
• 8:25
  to
• 8:26
  put
• 8:27
  our
• 8:27
  children
• 8:27
  first,
• 8:28
  our
• 8:28
  partners
• 8:28
  first,
• 8:29
  everything
• 8:29
  first
• 8:30
  before
• 8:30
  us.
• 8:31
  And
• 8:31
  I
• 8:31
  think
• 8:31
  while
• 8:31
  I
• 8:32
  was
• 8:32
  going
• 8:32
  through
• 8:32
  that
• 8:33
  very
• 8:34
  stressful
• 8:35
  time
• 8:35
  and
• 8:35
  transition
• 8:36
  my
• 8:36
  life,
• 8:36
  I
• 8:36
  started
• 8:37
  leaning
• 8:37
  into
• 8:38
  who
• 8:38
  I
• 8:38
  was
• 8:39
  and
• 8:40
  what
• 8:41
  brought
• 8:41
  me
• 8:42
  joy
• 8:42
  and
• 8:42
  was
• 8:43
  paying
• 8:43
  more
• 8:43
  attention
• 8:43
  to
• 8:44
  my
• 8:44
  body.
• 8:44
  You're
• 8:45
  sort
• 8:45
  of
• 8:45
  going
• 8:45
  on
• 8:45
  these
• 8:46
  two
• 8:46
  paths.
• 8:46
  You
• 8:46
  know,
• 8:47
  you've
• 8:47
  got
• 8:47
  everything
• 8:47
  going
• 8:48
  on
• 8:48
  with
• 8:48
  your,
• 8:48
  with
• 8:48
  your
• 8:49
  health,
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  then
• 8:50
  you've
• 8:50
  got
• 8:50
  your
• 8:50
  separation
• 8:51
  from
• 8:51
  your
• 8:51
  marriage,
• 8:52
  you
• 8:52
  know,
• 8:52
  so
• 8:52
  it's
• 8:53
  like
• 8:53
  you're
• 8:53
  sort
• 8:54
  of
• 8:54
  dealing
• 8:54
  with
• 8:55
  both
• 8:55
  of
• 8:55
  these
• 8:55
  things
• 8:56
  at
• 8:56
  the
• 8:56
  same
• 8:57
  time.
• 8:58
  So
• 8:58
  was
• 8:58
  there
• 8:59
  ever
• 8:59
  a
• 8:59
  moment
• 9:00
  where
• 9:00
  you
• 9:00
  just
• 9:01
  said,
• 9:01
  okay,
• 9:01
  this
• 9:02
  is
• 9:02
  like
• 9:02
  too
• 9:02
  much.
• 9:02
  I'm
• 9:03
  like
• 9:03
  overwhelmed.
• 9:04
  I
• 9:05
  can't
• 9:05
  do
• 9:05
  this.
• 9:06
  Or
• 9:06
  was
• 9:06
  it
• 9:06
  just
• 9:07
  always
• 9:07
  forward
• 9:07
  motion
• 9:08
  for
• 9:08
  you?
• 9:08
  For
• 9:09
  me,
• 9:09
  going
• 9:10
  back
• 9:10
  to
• 9:10
  the
• 9:10
  fight
• 9:10
  or
• 9:10
  flight
• 9:11
  mode.
• 9:11
  I
• 9:11
  was
• 9:11
  in
• 9:12
  this,
• 9:12
  the
• 9:12
  serious
• 9:12
  fight
• 9:13
  or
• 9:13
  flight
• 9:13
  mode,
• 9:14
  when
• 9:14
  I
• 9:14
  had
• 9:15
  my
• 9:15
  lump
• 9:15
  back
• 9:15
  to
• 9:15
  me
• 9:16
  in
• 9:16
  January
• 9:16
  at
• 9:16
  Sloan
• 9:17
  Kettering.
• 9:17
  My.
• 9:17
  My
• 9:18
  father,
• 9:18
  who
• 9:18
  was
• 9:18
  my
• 9:18
  best
• 9:19
  friend,
• 9:19
  was
• 9:19
  by
• 9:19
  my
• 9:19
  side
• 9:20
  the
• 9:20
  whole
• 9:20
  time.
• 9:21
  And.
• 9:21
  And
• 9:21
  then,
• 9:21
  unfortunately,
• 9:22
  about
• 9:22
  two
• 9:23
  weeks
• 9:23
  later,
• 9:24
  he
• 9:24
  felt
• 9:24
  extremely,
• 9:25
  extremely
• 9:26
  ill.
• 9:26
  Contracted
• 9:27
  legionnaires
• 9:28
  and
• 9:29
  had
• 9:29
  like
• 9:30
  an
• 9:30
  array
• 9:30
  of
• 9:30
  things.
• 9:31
  Pneumonia,
• 9:31
  sepsis,
• 9:32
  and
• 9:32
  legionnaires,
• 9:33
  like
• 9:33
  the
• 9:33
  perfect
• 9:34
  storm.
• 9:34
  And
• 9:34
  we
• 9:35
  believe
• 9:35
  it
• 9:35
  was
• 9:35
  from
• 9:36
  him
• 9:36
  sitting
• 9:37
  in
• 9:37
  like
• 9:37
  the
• 9:37
  waiting
• 9:37
  room
• 9:37
  at
• 9:38
  Sloan
• 9:38
  Kettering.
• 9:38
  It
• 9:38
  was
• 9:38
  kind
• 9:38
  of
• 9:38
  crazy.
• 9:39
  Anyways,
• 9:40
  make
• 9:40
  a
• 9:40
  long
• 9:41
  story
• 9:41
  short,
• 9:41
  he
• 9:41
  fell
• 9:42
  ill
• 9:43
  very
• 9:43
  quickly.
• 9:44
  I
• 9:44
  just
• 9:45
  landed
• 9:45
  in
• 9:45
  LA
• 9:46
  and
• 9:46
  I
• 9:47
  got
• 9:47
  a
• 9:47
  call
• 9:47
  from
• 9:47
  my
• 9:47
  brother
• 9:48
  saying,
• 9:48
  like,
• 9:48
  he's
• 9:48
  got.
• 9:49
  You
• 9:49
  need
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  come
• 9:49
  back.
• 9:50
  He
• 9:50
  has
• 9:50
  a
• 9:50
  5%
• 9:50
  chance
• 9:51
  of
• 9:51
  survival.
• 9:52
  So
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  wasn't
• 9:53
  even
• 9:53
  fully
• 9:54
  healed
• 9:54
  yet
• 9:54
  from
• 9:54
  my
• 9:54
  lumpectomy.
• 9:55
  So
• 9:55
  again,
• 9:56
  it
• 9:56
  was
• 9:56
  one
• 9:56
  of
• 9:56
  those
• 9:56
  things
• 9:57
  like,
• 9:57
  okay,
• 9:58
  so
• 9:58
  I
• 9:58
  was
• 9:59
  so
• 9:59
  busy
• 9:59
  and
• 10:00
  consumed
• 10:01
  taking
• 10:01
  care
• 10:01
  of
• 10:01
  my
• 10:01
  father,
• 10:02
  flying
• 10:02
  back
• 10:03
  and
• 10:03
  forth
• 10:03
  because
• 10:03
  he
• 10:03
  was
• 10:03
  an
• 10:04
  induced
• 10:04
  coma
• 10:04
  for
• 10:04
  like
• 10:04
  four
• 10:05
  months.
• 10:05
  And
• 10:05
  then
• 10:05
  I
• 10:06
  had
• 10:06
  these
• 10:06
  two
• 10:06
  little
• 10:06
  girls
• 10:07
  that
• 10:08
  I
• 10:08
  was
• 10:08
  trying
• 10:08
  to
• 10:09
  continue
• 10:10
  with
• 10:10
  some
• 10:10
  normalcy
• 10:12
  that
• 10:12
  I
• 10:12
  didn't
• 10:13
  really,
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  really,
• 10:15
  I
• 10:15
  didn't
• 10:15
  really
• 10:16
  lean
• 10:16
  into
• 10:16
  what
• 10:16
  I
• 10:17
  was
• 10:17
  actually
• 10:17
  going
• 10:18
  through.
• 10:19
  Does
• 10:20
  that
• 10:20
  make
• 10:20
  sense?
• 10:21
  You
• 10:21
  know,
• 10:21
  I
• 10:21
  was
• 10:21
  just.
• 10:23
  Again,
• 10:23
  my
• 10:23
  daughters
• 10:23
  hate
• 10:24
  it
• 10:24
  when
• 10:24
  I
• 10:24
  say
• 10:24
  this.
• 10:24
  I
• 10:24
  was
• 10:24
  powering
• 10:25
  through
• 10:25
  it
• 10:25
  because
• 10:25
  I
• 10:26
  had
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  show
• 10:26
  up
• 10:26
  every
• 10:26
  day
• 10:27
  for
• 10:27
  my
• 10:27
  kids
• 10:27
  and
• 10:27
  I
• 10:27
  had
• 10:27
  to
• 10:28
  show
• 10:28
  up
• 10:28
  for
• 10:28
  my
• 10:28
  family.
• 10:28
  And
• 10:29
  my
• 10:29
  dad
• 10:29
  was
• 10:31
  in
• 10:31
  a
• 10:31
  deuced
• 10:31
  coma
• 10:32
  and
• 10:32
  I
• 10:32
  had
• 10:32
  to,
• 10:32
  like.
• 10:33
  And
• 10:33
  I
• 10:33
  was
• 10:33
  in
• 10:33
  a
• 10:34
  long
• 10:34
  distance
• 10:34
  relationship,
• 10:35
  so
• 10:35
  just
• 10:35
  trying
• 10:35
  to
• 10:36
  navigate
• 10:37
  and
• 10:37
  manage
• 10:37
  all
• 10:37
  these
• 10:37
  things
• 10:38
  and
• 10:38
  also
• 10:38
  try
• 10:38
  and,
• 10:39
  you
• 10:39
  know,
• 10:39
  be
• 10:40
  there
• 10:40
  for
• 10:40
  my
• 10:40
  ex
• 10:40
  husband
• 10:41
  who
• 10:41
  was,
• 10:42
  you
• 10:42
  know,
• 10:42
  emotionally
• 10:43
  and
• 10:43
  mentally,
• 10:43
  like,
• 10:44
  dealing
• 10:44
  with
• 10:44
  his
• 10:45
  ex
• 10:45
  wife
• 10:45
  and
• 10:46
  mother
• 10:46
  of
• 10:46
  his
• 10:46
  kids.
• 10:47
  She
• 10:47
  had
• 10:47
  cancer
• 10:48
  and
• 10:48
  going
• 10:48
  through
• 10:49
  all
• 10:49
  these
• 10:49
  things.
• 10:50
  So
• 10:50
  I
• 10:50
  was
• 10:50
  just
• 10:51
  in
• 10:51
  a
• 10:51
  fight
• 10:51
  or
• 10:52
  flight
• 10:52
  mode
• 10:52
  for
• 10:52
  a
• 10:52
  very,
• 10:53
  very
• 10:53
  long
• 10:54
  time.
• 10:54
  Do
• 10:54
  you
• 10:54
  think
• 10:55
  that
• 10:55
  that
• 10:55
  was
• 10:55
  like,
• 10:55
  not.
• 10:56
  I
• 10:56
  mean,
• 10:56
  not
• 10:56
  your
• 10:56
  dad
• 10:57
  being
• 10:57
  sick,
• 10:57
  like,
• 10:58
  you
• 10:58
  know,
• 10:58
  excluding
• 10:59
  that,
• 10:59
  but
• 10:59
  the
• 11:00
  other
• 11:00
  people
• 11:00
  in
• 11:00
  your
• 11:01
  life?
• 11:01
  I
• 11:01
  mean,
• 11:01
  do
• 11:01
  you
• 11:01
  think
• 11:01
  that
• 11:02
  that
• 11:02
  was
• 11:02
  a
• 11:02
  blessing
• 11:02
  or
• 11:03
  a
• 11:03
  curse
• 11:03
  to
• 11:04
  have
• 11:04
  all
• 11:04
  these
• 11:05
  other
• 11:05
  things
• 11:05
  sort
• 11:06
  of
• 11:06
  going
• 11:06
  on
• 11:07
  while
• 11:07
  you're
• 11:07
  dealing
• 11:08
  with
• 11:08
  this?
• 11:08
  I
• 11:08
  think
• 11:08
  it
• 11:09
  was
• 11:09
  a
• 11:09
  blessing.
• 11:09
  And
• 11:09
  I
• 11:09
  actually
• 11:10
  do
• 11:10
  think
• 11:10
  it
• 11:10
  was
• 11:10
  somewhat
• 11:11
  of
• 11:11
  a
• 11:11
  blessing
• 11:11
  of
• 11:11
  my
• 11:12
  father
• 11:12
  being
• 11:12
  sick
• 11:13
  because
• 11:13
  it
• 11:13
  was
• 11:13
  a
• 11:14
  big
• 11:14
  distraction
• 11:14
  for
• 11:15
  me.
• 11:15
  But
• 11:16
  the
• 11:17
  beautiful
• 11:17
  ending
• 11:17
  to
• 11:18
  all
• 11:18
  of
• 11:18
  that
• 11:18
  is
• 11:19
  he
• 11:19
  had
• 11:19
  a
• 11:19
  5%
• 11:20
  chance
• 11:20
  of
• 11:20
  survival.
• 11:21
  And
• 11:22
  he
• 11:22
  was
• 11:23
  in
• 11:23
  his
• 11:23
  early
• 11:23
  80s
• 11:24
  at
• 11:24
  the
• 11:24
  time,
• 11:25
  and
• 11:25
  he
• 11:25
  looked
• 11:26
  like
• 11:26
  he
• 11:26
  was
• 11:26
  in
• 11:26
  his
• 11:27
  50s.
• 11:27
  And
• 11:27
  he
• 11:27
  was.
• 11:28
  The
• 11:28
  joke
• 11:28
  was
• 11:28
  that
• 11:28
  he
• 11:29
  was
• 11:29
  going
• 11:29
  to
• 11:29
  outlive
• 11:29
  all
• 11:29
  of
• 11:30
  us
• 11:30
  and
• 11:31
  he
• 11:31
  was
• 11:31
  so
• 11:31
  healthy,
• 11:32
  but
• 11:32
  he
• 11:32
  fought
• 11:33
  for
• 11:33
  his
• 11:33
  life
• 11:34
  and
• 11:34
  he
• 11:34
  came
• 11:34
  out
• 11:35
  of
• 11:35
  it.
• 11:35
  It
• 11:35
  was
• 11:36
  like
• 11:36
  unbelievable.
• 11:37
  Like,
• 11:38
  everyone
• 11:38
  thought
• 11:38
  he
• 11:38
  was
• 11:38
  not
• 11:39
  going
• 11:39
  to
• 11:39
  make
• 11:39
  it,
• 11:39
  and
• 11:40
  he
• 11:40
  came
• 11:41
  out
• 11:41
  on
• 11:41
  the
• 11:41
  other
• 11:41
  side.
• 11:42
  And
• 11:42
  that,
• 11:42
  to
• 11:42
  me,
• 11:43
  helped
• 11:43
  me
• 11:45
  go
• 11:45
  through
• 11:45
  the.
• 11:46
  Like,
• 11:46
  when
• 11:46
  he
• 11:47
  came
• 11:47
  out
• 11:48
  on
• 11:48
  the
• 11:48
  other
• 11:48
  side
• 11:48
  months
• 11:48
  later,
• 11:49
  I
• 11:49
  was
• 11:49
  like,
• 11:49
  if
• 11:50
  my
• 11:50
  father
• 11:50
  can
• 11:51
  do
• 11:51
  this
• 11:52
  and
• 11:52
  get
• 11:52
  through
• 11:53
  what
• 11:53
  he
• 11:53
  went
• 11:53
  through,
• 11:54
  battling
• 11:54
  sepsis
• 11:55
  and
• 11:55
  dialysis
• 11:56
  and
• 11:56
  everyone
• 11:57
  telling
• 11:57
  us,
• 11:57
  like
• 11:58
  we
• 11:58
  were
• 11:58
  planning
• 11:58
  his
• 11:58
  funeral,
• 11:59
  that
• 11:59
  he
• 11:59
  was
• 12:00
  gonna
• 12:00
  die,
• 12:00
  I
• 12:01
  can
• 12:01
  get
• 12:01
  through
• 12:01
  this.
• 12:02
  I
• 12:02
  can
• 12:02
  get
• 12:02
  through
• 12:02
  this.
• 12:03
  So
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  think
• 12:03
  that
• 12:03
  was.
• 12:04
  Yes,
• 12:05
  it
• 12:05
  was
• 12:05
  a.
• 12:05
  It
• 12:05
  was
• 12:06
  a
• 12:06
  distraction.
• 12:06
  Although
• 12:07
  stressful,
• 12:08
  the
• 12:08
  back
• 12:08
  and
• 12:08
  forth
• 12:09
  and
• 12:09
  dealing
• 12:09
  with
• 12:09
  him,
• 12:10
  it
• 12:10
  was.
• 12:11
  It.
• 12:11
  It
• 12:11
  distracted
• 12:12
  me
• 12:12
  from
• 12:12
  what
• 12:12
  I
• 12:13
  was
• 12:13
  really
• 12:13
  going
• 12:13
  through.
• 12:13
  But
• 12:14
  then
• 12:14
  once
• 12:14
  he
• 12:14
  was
• 12:14
  on
• 12:15
  the
• 12:15
  other
• 12:15
  side,
• 12:16
  then
• 12:16
  I
• 12:16
  kind
• 12:16
  of
• 12:16
  started
• 12:17
  like,
• 12:17
  okay,
• 12:18
  I
• 12:18
  need
• 12:18
  to
• 12:18
  kind
• 12:18
  of
• 12:20
  focus
• 12:20
  on
• 12:20
  me
• 12:20
  and
• 12:21
  what
• 12:21
  that
• 12:21
  looks
• 12:22
  like
• 12:22
  and
• 12:22
  start
• 12:22
  grieving,
• 12:23
  like,
• 12:23
  losing
• 12:24
  my
• 12:24
  breasts
• 12:24
  and
• 12:25
  the
• 12:25
  changes
• 12:26
  in
• 12:26
  my
• 12:26
  body
• 12:26
  and
• 12:28
  what
• 12:28
  I'm.
• 12:28
  What
• 12:29
  I'm
• 12:29
  about
• 12:29
  to
• 12:29
  go
• 12:29
  through.
• 12:30
  And
• 12:30
  then
• 12:30
  fast
• 12:31
  forward
• 12:31
  to
• 12:31
  worrying
• 12:32
  about
• 12:32
  my
• 12:32
  daughters.
• 12:33
  You
• 12:33
  know
• 12:34
  what?
• 12:34
  Cause
• 12:34
  they're
• 12:35
  now.
• 12:35
  Their
• 12:35
  risk
• 12:36
  is
• 12:36
  extremely
• 12:37
  high
• 12:37
  because
• 12:38
  their
• 12:38
  grandmother
• 12:38
  had
• 12:39
  it
• 12:39
  and
• 12:39
  now
• 12:39
  their
• 12:39
  mother
• 12:40
  had
• 12:40
  it.
• 12:40
  So
• 12:40
  now
• 12:40
  I'm
• 12:40
  like,
• 12:41
  you
• 12:41
  know,
• 12:41
  all
• 12:41
  the
• 12:41
  layers.
• 12:42
  Because
• 12:43
  you're
• 12:43
  going
• 12:43
  through
• 12:43
  the
• 12:43
  separation
• 12:44
  as
• 12:44
  well
• 12:44
  with
• 12:44
  Steven.
• 12:45
  Were
• 12:45
  you
• 12:45
  leaning
• 12:46
  on
• 12:46
  him
• 12:46
  sort
• 12:47
  of.
• 12:47
  This
• 12:47
  whole
• 12:47
  time,
• 12:48
  did
• 12:48
  things
• 12:48
  like
• 12:49
  the
• 12:49
  problems
• 12:49
  and
• 12:50
  the
• 12:50
  issues
• 12:50
  you
• 12:50
  guys
• 12:51
  were
• 12:51
  dealing
• 12:51
  with,
• 12:51
  did
• 12:51
  they
• 12:51
  kind
• 12:52
  of
• 12:52
  fall
• 12:52
  away
• 12:52
  and
• 12:52
  like,
• 12:53
  this
• 12:53
  bigger
• 12:53
  thing
• 12:54
  kind
• 12:54
  of
• 12:54
  takes
• 12:54
  over
• 12:55
  or
• 12:55
  how
• 12:56
  did
• 12:56
  that
• 12:56
  sort
• 12:56
  of
• 12:56
  play
• 12:57
  out?
• 12:57
  When
• 12:58
  we
• 12:58
  separated,
• 12:59
  it
• 12:59
  was
• 12:59
  pretty
• 13:00
  amicable,
• 13:01
  even
• 13:01
  though
• 13:01
  I
• 13:01
  was
• 13:02
  going
• 13:02
  starting
• 13:03
  a
• 13:03
  new
• 13:03
  relationship
• 13:03
  bicoastal
• 13:04
  from
• 13:04
  LA
• 13:04
  to
• 13:05
  New
• 13:05
  York,
• 13:06
  pretty
• 13:06
  amicable
• 13:07
  and
• 13:07
  whatnot.
• 13:07
  But
• 13:08
  when
• 13:08
  I
• 13:08
  started
• 13:09
  going
• 13:09
  through
• 13:09
  it,
• 13:10
  he
• 13:10
  was
• 13:10
  there
• 13:10
  for
• 13:11
  me.
• 13:11
  Oh,
• 13:11
  speak
• 13:11
  of
• 13:12
  the
• 13:12
  devil,
• 13:12
  here's
• 13:12
  Steve.
• 13:13
  Is
• 13:13
  he
• 13:13
  there?
• 13:13
  Does
• 13:14
  he
• 13:14
  want
• 13:14
  to
• 13:14
  pop
• 13:14
  in
• 13:14
  and
• 13:14
  say
• 13:14
  hi?
• 13:15
  Yeah,
• 13:16
  because
• 13:16
  we're
• 13:16
  talking
• 13:16
  about
• 13:17
  you
• 13:17
  and
• 13:17
  how
• 13:18
  amazingly
• 13:19
  supportive
• 13:19
  you
• 13:20
  were
• 13:20
  during
• 13:20
  my
• 13:20
  breast
• 13:21
  cancer
• 13:21
  journey.
• 13:21
  Oh,
• 13:22
  yes.
• 13:22
  Hello.
• 13:23
  Hey,
• 13:23
  Stephen.
• 13:24
  How
• 13:24
  are
• 13:24
  you?
• 13:25
  We're
• 13:25
  actually
• 13:25
  just
• 13:26
  talking
• 13:26
  about
• 13:26
  you,
• 13:27
  so.
• 13:27
  Your
• 13:27
  ears
• 13:27
  are
• 13:27
  burning.
• 13:28
  I
• 13:28
  was
• 13:28
  waiting
• 13:28
  outside
• 13:29
  till
• 13:29
  I
• 13:29
  heard
• 13:29
  my
• 13:30
  name.
• 13:30
  She
• 13:30
  was
• 13:30
  actually
• 13:31
  just
• 13:31
  talking
• 13:32
  about
• 13:32
  leaning
• 13:33
  on
• 13:33
  you
• 13:33
  during
• 13:33
  her
• 13:34
  whole
• 13:34
  cancer
• 13:34
  journey.
• 13:35
  And,
• 13:35
  you
• 13:35
  know,
• 13:36
  like,
• 13:36
  how
• 13:36
  you
• 13:36
  guys
• 13:37
  navigated
• 13:37
  that
• 13:37
  while
• 13:38
  also
• 13:38
  going
• 13:39
  through
• 13:39
  what
• 13:39
  you
• 13:39
  guys
• 13:39
  were
• 13:40
  going
• 13:40
  through.
• 13:40
  Add
• 13:41
  for
• 13:41
  a
• 13:41
  few
• 13:41
  minutes,
• 13:41
  for
• 13:42
  a
• 13:42
  minute
• 13:42
  before
• 13:42
  you
• 13:42
  escape
• 13:43
  with
• 13:44
  a
• 13:44
  dog.
• 13:44
  Jumping
• 13:44
  all
• 13:44
  over
• 13:44
  me.
• 13:45
  Add
• 13:45
  to
• 13:46
  how
• 13:46
  awesome
• 13:46
  I
• 13:46
  am.
• 13:47
  He
• 13:47
  was.
• 13:48
  He
• 13:48
  was
• 13:48
  my
• 13:48
  rock
• 13:49
  and
• 13:50
  to.
• 13:51
  I
• 13:51
  leaned
• 13:52
  on
• 13:52
  him
• 13:52
  quite
• 13:52
  a
• 13:52
  bit,
• 13:52
  and
• 13:53
  he
• 13:53
  was
• 13:53
  there
• 13:53
  for
• 13:53
  me
• 13:54
  for.
• 13:55
  Oh,
• 13:55
  my
• 13:55
  goodness,
• 13:55
  like,
• 13:56
  he.
• 13:56
  Again.
• 13:57
  He
• 13:57
  was
• 13:57
  the
• 13:57
  one
• 13:57
  that
• 13:57
  gave
• 13:58
  me
• 13:58
  the
• 13:58
  unfortunate
• 13:58
  news.
• 13:59
  He
• 13:59
  had
• 13:59
  to
• 13:59
  call
• 13:59
  me
• 14:00
  when
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  was
• 14:00
  with
• 14:00
  my
• 14:00
  new
• 14:01
  partner
• 14:01
  in
• 14:01
  Stovermont
• 14:02
  on
• 14:02
  New
• 14:02
  Year's
• 14:02
  to
• 14:03
  deliver
• 14:03
  the
• 14:03
  news,
• 14:03
  but
• 14:04
  he
• 14:04
  was
• 14:05
  there
• 14:05
  for
• 14:05
  every
• 14:05
  doctor's
• 14:06
  appointment.
• 14:06
  He
• 14:06
  was
• 14:07
  also
• 14:07
  the
• 14:07
  one
• 14:07
  to
• 14:07
  really
• 14:08
  encourage
• 14:08
  a
• 14:08
  second
• 14:08
  third
• 14:09
  opinion.
• 14:09
  He's
• 14:09
  always
• 14:09
  been
• 14:10
  that
• 14:10
  guy.
• 14:11
  And
• 14:11
  he
• 14:12
  just.
• 14:13
  I
• 14:13
  mean,
• 14:14
  he
• 14:14
  helped
• 14:15
  me
• 14:16
  financially
• 14:16
  with
• 14:16
  the
• 14:16
  surgeries
• 14:17
  as
• 14:17
  well,
• 14:18
  and,
• 14:19
  you
• 14:19
  know,
• 14:19
  getting
• 14:19
  the
• 14:20
  opinions
• 14:20
  and
• 14:20
  meeting
• 14:20
  with
• 14:21
  various
• 14:21
  plastic
• 14:22
  surgeons.
• 14:23
  He
• 14:23
  was
• 14:23
  amazing.
• 14:24
  And.
• 14:24
  And
• 14:25
  he
• 14:25
  continues
• 14:26
  to
• 14:26
  be
• 14:26
  a
• 14:26
  great
• 14:26
  support
• 14:27
  for
• 14:27
  me
• 14:27
  and
• 14:28
  to
• 14:28
  me,
• 14:29
  nine
• 14:29
  years
• 14:30
  later.
• 14:30
  Yes,
• 14:31
  I
• 14:31
  will
• 14:31
  just
• 14:31
  say,
• 14:31
  because
• 14:32
  I
• 14:32
  know
• 14:32
  this
• 14:32
  is
• 14:32
  your
• 14:32
  podcast,
• 14:33
  this
• 14:34
  is
• 14:35
  the
• 14:35
  children's
• 14:36
  mother.
• 14:37
  Do
• 14:37
  I
• 14:38
  need
• 14:38
  to
• 14:38
  say
• 14:38
  anything
• 14:38
  else?
• 14:39
  Yeah,
• 14:40
  that's
• 14:40
  exactly
• 14:41
  it.
• 14:41
  I
• 14:41
  mean,
• 14:41
  that's
• 14:41
  exactly
• 14:42
  it.
• 14:42
  I
• 14:43
  feel
• 14:43
  like
• 14:43
  anything
• 14:43
  else
• 14:44
  pales
• 14:44
  in
• 14:44
  comparison
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  that
• 14:46
  comment.
• 14:47
  So.
• 14:48
  Full
• 14:48
  stop.
• 14:49
  Yeah,
• 14:49
  full
• 14:50
  stop.
• 14:50
  And
• 14:50
  so
• 14:50
  many
• 14:51
  people
• 14:51
  can't
• 14:51
  see
• 14:52
  through
• 14:52
  that,
• 14:52
  but
• 14:53
  you
• 14:53
  obviously
• 14:54
  can.
• 14:54
  There
• 14:54
  seems
• 14:55
  to
• 14:55
  be
• 14:55
  still
• 14:55
  a
• 14:55
  thread
• 14:56
  between
• 14:56
  you
• 14:56
  guys.
• 14:56
  So
• 14:57
  what
• 14:57
  was
• 14:57
  that
• 14:57
  thing?
• 14:58
  Like,
• 14:58
  what
• 14:58
  would.
• 14:59
  Why
• 14:59
  were
• 14:59
  you
• 15:00
  guys
• 15:00
  able
• 15:00
  to
• 15:00
  evolve
• 15:01
  so
• 15:01
  much
• 15:02
  better
• 15:02
  than
• 15:02
  a
• 15:02
  lot
• 15:02
  of
• 15:03
  other
• 15:03
  people
• 15:03
  in
• 15:04
  that
• 15:04
  way?
• 15:05
  You
• 15:05
  know,
• 15:06
  I
• 15:06
  just
• 15:06
  said
• 15:06
  this
• 15:06
  recently
• 15:07
  to
• 15:07
  a
• 15:07
  friend
• 15:08
  we
• 15:08
  had
• 15:08
  at
• 15:08
  our
• 15:09
  wedding.
• 15:11
  Each
• 15:11
  of
• 15:11
  us,
• 15:11
  some
• 15:12
  of
• 15:12
  our
• 15:13
  ex
• 15:13
  boyfriends
• 15:13
  and
• 15:13
  girlfriends
• 15:15
  were
• 15:15
  at
• 15:15
  our
• 15:15
  wedding.
• 15:16
  So
• 15:16
  that
• 15:16
  might
• 15:17
  have
• 15:17
  been
• 15:18
  a
• 15:18
  sign
• 15:19
  of
• 15:20
  how
• 15:20
  things
• 15:21
  could
• 15:21
  go
• 15:21
  in
• 15:21
  the
• 15:21
  future,
• 15:22
  you
• 15:22
  know,
• 15:23
  as
• 15:23
  that's
• 15:24
  maybe
• 15:24
  just
• 15:24
  a
• 15:24
  function
• 15:25
  of
• 15:25
  our
• 15:25
  personalities.
• 15:26
  I
• 15:26
  guess
• 15:28
  that
• 15:28
  laid
• 15:29
  the
• 15:29
  groundwork
• 15:30
  for
• 15:30
  that.
• 15:31
  Well,
• 15:31
  you
• 15:31
  can't
• 15:32
  even
• 15:32
  hear
• 15:32
  the
• 15:32
  name
• 15:32
  of
• 15:32
  your
• 15:33
  spouse's
• 15:33
  ex
• 15:34
  boyfriend.
• 15:34
  Or
• 15:34
  girlfriend
• 15:34
  without
• 15:35
  losing
• 15:35
  your
• 15:35
  cool.
• 15:37
  So
• 15:37
  I
• 15:37
  think
• 15:37
  that
• 15:37
  helped.
• 15:39
  And
• 15:39
  then
• 15:40
  you
• 15:41
  know,
• 15:41
  we're
• 15:42
  still
• 15:42
  the
• 15:42
  kids
• 15:42
  parents
• 15:43
  and
• 15:43
  they're
• 15:43
  still
• 15:44
  our
• 15:44
  children.
• 15:44
  Right?
• 15:46
  You
• 15:46
  have
• 15:46
  to
• 15:46
  kind
• 15:46
  of
• 15:47
  put
• 15:47
  the
• 15:47
  things
• 15:47
  aside
• 15:47
  and
• 15:48
  it's
• 15:48
  not
• 15:48
  even
• 15:48
  like
• 15:49
  I
• 15:49
  mean
• 15:49
  look,
• 15:50
  people
• 15:50
  get
• 15:50
  divorced
• 15:51
  and
• 15:51
  separate
• 15:51
  all
• 15:52
  the
• 15:52
  time
• 15:52
  and
• 15:52
  it's
• 15:52
  not
• 15:52
  like
• 15:53
  there
• 15:53
  wasn't
• 15:53
  any
• 15:54
  love
• 15:54
  there
• 15:54
  between
• 15:55
  us.
• 15:55
  We
• 15:55
  did
• 15:55
  try,
• 15:56
  you
• 15:57
  know,
• 15:57
  to
• 15:57
  make
• 15:58
  it
• 15:58
  work
• 15:58
  and
• 15:58
  whatnot.
• 15:59
  But
• 15:59
  we
• 15:59
  both
• 16:00
  I
• 16:00
  think
• 16:00
  got
• 16:00
  to
• 16:00
  a
• 16:01
  point
• 16:01
  in
• 16:01
  our
• 16:01
  marriage
• 16:02
  where
• 16:02
  it
• 16:02
  was
• 16:02
  like,
• 16:03
  okay,
• 16:03
  we
• 16:03
  have
• 16:03
  these
• 16:03
  two
• 16:04
  very
• 16:04
  impressionable
• 16:05
  young
• 16:05
  little
• 16:05
  girls
• 16:05
  that
• 16:06
  are
• 16:06
  recognizing
• 16:06
  that
• 16:06
  mommy
• 16:07
  and
• 16:07
  daddy
• 16:07
  aren't
• 16:07
  as
• 16:08
  loving
• 16:08
  or
• 16:09
  saying
• 16:09
  I
• 16:09
  love
• 16:09
  you.
• 16:10
  And
• 16:10
  I
• 16:11
  was
• 16:11
  raised
• 16:11
  a
• 16:11
  different
• 16:12
  way.
• 16:12
  My
• 16:12
  parents
• 16:12
  fought
• 16:13
  all
• 16:13
  the
• 16:13
  time
• 16:13
  and
• 16:13
  there
• 16:14
  was
• 16:14
  like
• 16:14
  there
• 16:14
  was
• 16:15
  no
• 16:15
  love
• 16:15
  and
• 16:15
  you
• 16:16
  know,
• 16:16
  exposed
• 16:16
  to
• 16:17
  a
• 16:17
  completely
• 16:17
  different,
• 16:18
  you
• 16:18
  know,
• 16:20
  growing
• 16:20
  up,
• 16:20
  whatever.
• 16:21
  But
• 16:21
  I
• 16:21
  think
• 16:21
  we
• 16:21
  both
• 16:22
  recognize
• 16:22
  like
• 16:23
  we,
• 16:23
  there's
• 16:23
  great
• 16:23
  love
• 16:24
  there
• 16:25
  but
• 16:25
  we
• 16:25
  don't
• 16:25
  get
• 16:25
  along.
• 16:26
  I
• 16:26
  mean
• 16:27
  we
• 16:27
  get
• 16:27
  along
• 16:27
  now
• 16:28
  but.
• 16:29
  When
• 16:29
  you
• 16:29
  don't
• 16:30
  have
• 16:30
  to
• 16:30
  live
• 16:30
  together.
• 16:30
  Right.
• 16:31
  Like
• 16:31
  it's
• 16:31
  like
• 16:32
  we
• 16:32
  don't
• 16:32
  have
• 16:32
  to
• 16:32
  live
• 16:33
  together.
• 16:33
  But
• 16:33
  like
• 16:34
  yes.
• 16:34
  I
• 16:34
  mean
• 16:35
  look,
• 16:35
  he
• 16:35
  show,
• 16:36
  he
• 16:36
  continues
• 16:37
  to
• 16:37
  show
• 16:37
  up.
• 16:37
  He's
• 16:37
  he,
• 16:38
  he's
• 16:38
  that
• 16:38
  guy
• 16:38
  though
• 16:39
  to,
• 16:39
  to
• 16:39
  a
• 16:39
  lot
• 16:39
  of
• 16:40
  the
• 16:40
  people
• 16:40
  in
• 16:40
  his
• 16:40
  life,
• 16:40
  to
• 16:40
  his
• 16:41
  family
• 16:41
  and
• 16:41
  his
• 16:41
  friends.
• 16:41
  Like
• 16:42
  Steven
• 16:43
  Binder
• 16:43
  shows
• 16:44
  up
• 16:44
  for
• 16:44
  you.
• 16:44
  If
• 16:44
  you're
• 16:45
  in
• 16:45
  his
• 16:45
  orbit,
• 16:46
  he's
• 16:46
  going
• 16:46
  to
• 16:47
  show
• 16:47
  up
• 16:47
  for
• 16:47
  you.
• 16:47
  And
• 16:47
  again
• 16:47
  I'm
• 16:48
  his
• 16:48
  ex
• 16:48
  wife,
• 16:48
  I'm
• 16:48
  the
• 16:49
  mother
• 16:49
  of
• 16:49
  his
• 16:49
  daughters.
• 16:50
  He
• 16:50
  continues
• 16:51
  to
• 16:51
  show
• 16:51
  up
• 16:52
  and
• 16:52
  yes,
• 16:52
  I
• 16:53
  proudly
• 16:54
  say
• 16:54
  very
• 16:54
  often
• 16:55
  he
• 16:55
  was
• 16:55
  my
• 16:56
  rock
• 16:56
  during
• 16:57
  whole
• 16:58
  like
• 16:59
  was
• 16:59
  there
• 16:59
  with
• 16:59
  me
• 16:59
  when
• 17:00
  I
• 17:00
  woke
• 17:00
  up
• 17:00
  for
• 17:00
  every
• 17:01
  surgery,
• 17:02
  you
• 17:02
  know,
• 17:02
  was
• 17:02
  holding
• 17:03
  my
• 17:03
  hand
• 17:03
  right
• 17:03
  there
• 17:04
  just,
• 17:04
  just
• 17:05
  there.
• 17:06
  He
• 17:06
  was
• 17:06
  the
• 17:06
  first
• 17:07
  person
• 17:07
  when
• 17:07
  I
• 17:07
  opened
• 17:08
  my
• 17:08
  eyes
• 17:08
  besides
• 17:08
  my
• 17:08
  best
• 17:09
  friend
• 17:09
  like
• 17:09
  those
• 17:10
  and
• 17:10
  he
• 17:10
  was
• 17:10
  and
• 17:11
  the
• 17:11
  person
• 17:11
  I
• 17:12
  wanted
• 17:12
  there
• 17:13
  over
• 17:13
  my
• 17:14
  current
• 17:15
  partner
• 17:15
  at
• 17:15
  the
• 17:15
  time
• 17:16
  and
• 17:16
  he
• 17:16
  was
• 17:17
  thrilled
• 17:17
  about
• 17:17
  that
• 17:17
  which
• 17:17
  was
• 17:18
  oh
• 17:19
  wow.
• 17:19
  Drama.
• 17:20
  Much
• 17:21
  like
• 17:21
  how
• 17:21
  did
• 17:21
  that
• 17:22
  fly
• 17:22
  over?
• 17:23
  You
• 17:23
  know
• 17:23
  I'm
• 17:23
  going
• 17:23
  to
• 17:23
  let
• 17:24
  you
• 17:24
  handle
• 17:24
  this.
• 17:25
  I'm
• 17:25
  going
• 17:25
  to
• 17:25
  go
• 17:25
  take
• 17:25
  Dusty
• 17:27
  the
• 17:27
  water
• 17:27
  faucet
• 17:28
  that
• 17:28
  I
• 17:28
  came
• 17:28
  over
• 17:28
  and
• 17:28
  installed
• 17:29
  at
• 17:29
  9
• 17:29
  o'
• 17:29
  clock
• 17:29
  at
• 17:30
  night
• 17:30
  in
• 17:30
  the
• 17:30
  dark.
• 17:30
  It's
• 17:31
  not
• 17:31
  leaking.
• 17:32
  Thank
• 17:32
  you.
• 17:32
  I
• 17:32
  just
• 17:33
  checked
• 17:33
  it.
• 17:33
  I
• 17:33
  mean
• 17:34
  he's
• 17:34
  the
• 17:34
  all
• 17:35
  around
• 17:35
  guy.
• 17:36
  Thank
• 17:36
  you
• 17:36
  Stephen.
• 17:37
  Bye.
• 17:37
  Thanks
• 17:38
  Steve.
• 17:38
  Bye
• 17:38
  Dusty.
• 17:40
  There
• 17:40
  was
• 17:40
  a
• 17:40
  little
• 17:40
  drama
• 17:41
  at
• 17:41
  the
• 17:41
  time
• 17:41
  I
• 17:41
  think
• 17:42
  you
• 17:42
  know.
• 17:42
  There
• 17:42
  was,
• 17:43
  yeah.
• 17:44
  I
• 17:44
  mean
• 17:44
  it
• 17:44
  was
• 17:44
  hard
• 17:44
  for
• 17:45
  him
• 17:45
  I
• 17:45
  think
• 17:45
  for
• 17:46
  my,
• 17:46
  for
• 17:46
  my
• 17:46
  boyfriend
• 17:47
  at
• 17:47
  the
• 17:47
  time.
• 17:47
  But
• 17:48
  I'm
• 17:48
  again
• 17:49
  going
• 17:49
  back
• 17:49
  to.
• 17:49
  He
• 17:49
  was
• 17:50
  the
• 17:50
  mother,
• 17:50
  I'm
• 17:51
  the
• 17:51
  mother
• 17:51
  of
• 17:52
  his
• 17:52
  kids.
• 17:53
  So
• 17:53
  Steven's
• 17:54
  in
• 17:54
  my
• 17:54
  life
• 17:54
  Forever,
• 17:55
  regardless.
• 17:56
  Who
• 17:56
  did
• 17:56
  he
• 17:57
  lean
• 17:57
  on
• 17:57
  during
• 17:58
  all
• 17:58
  of
• 17:58
  this?
• 17:58
  Like,
• 17:59
  did
• 17:59
  he
• 17:59
  have
• 17:59
  somebody
• 18:00
  like
• 18:00
  a
• 18:00
  rock
• 18:00
  to
• 18:00
  lean
• 18:01
  on?
• 18:01
  Steve?
• 18:02
  No,
• 18:03
  no.
• 18:03
  He
• 18:03
  just.
• 18:03
  No,
• 18:05
  no.
• 18:05
  He
• 18:05
  had
• 18:05
  to
• 18:05
  rely
• 18:06
  on
• 18:06
  himself,
• 18:06
  like,
• 18:07
  pretty
• 18:07
  much.
• 18:08
  No,
• 18:09
  I
• 18:09
  didn't,
• 18:10
  I
• 18:10
  didn't
• 18:10
  know
• 18:10
  that
• 18:10
  was
• 18:10
  a
• 18:11
  thing
• 18:11
  till
• 18:12
  I
• 18:12
  was
• 18:12
  asked
• 18:12
  this
• 18:12
  question
• 18:13
  sort
• 18:13
  of
• 18:13
  recently
• 18:14
  and
• 18:14
  I'm
• 18:14
  like,
• 18:15
  oh,
• 18:15
  oh,
• 18:16
  that's,
• 18:16
  that's
• 18:16
  an
• 18:17
  option.
• 18:17
  That
• 18:17
  would
• 18:18
  have
• 18:18
  been
• 18:18
  nice,
• 18:19
  right?
• 18:19
  So
• 18:19
  you're
• 18:19
  kind
• 18:20
  of
• 18:20
  in
• 18:20
  fight
• 18:20
  and
• 18:20
  flight
• 18:21
  mode
• 18:21
  too.
• 18:22
  Yeah,
• 18:22
  I'm
• 18:22
  still
• 18:22
  working
• 18:23
  on
• 18:23
  that
• 18:24
  for
• 18:24
  sure.
• 18:25
  I
• 18:25
  think
• 18:25
  I've
• 18:26
  mentioned
• 18:26
  when
• 18:26
  we
• 18:26
  did
• 18:26
  our
• 18:27
  first,
• 18:27
  first
• 18:27
  go
• 18:28
  around
• 18:28
  is
• 18:30
  I.
• 18:31
  The
• 18:31
  advice
• 18:32
  that
• 18:32
  I
• 18:32
  give
• 18:32
  to
• 18:32
  people
• 18:33
  that
• 18:33
  are
• 18:33
  going
• 18:33
  through
• 18:34
  something
• 18:34
  like
• 18:35
  this
• 18:35
  or
• 18:35
  with
• 18:35
  a
• 18:36
  cancer
• 18:36
  diagnosis,
• 18:37
  to
• 18:37
  be
• 18:38
  sure
• 18:38
  that
• 18:38
  you
• 18:38
  check
• 18:39
  in
• 18:39
  with
• 18:40
  their
• 18:40
  spouses,
• 18:41
  their
• 18:41
  partners
• 18:41
  or
• 18:42
  family
• 18:42
  members,
• 18:42
  because
• 18:43
  they're
• 18:43
  the
• 18:43
  ones
• 18:43
  going
• 18:44
  through
• 18:44
  it.
• 18:45
  Well,
• 18:46
  on
• 18:46
  a
• 18:46
  different
• 18:47
  level
• 18:47
  or
• 18:47
  a
• 18:47
  different
• 18:47
  layer.
• 18:48
  But
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  think
• 18:48
  it's
• 18:49
  important
• 18:49
  that
• 18:50
  they
• 18:50
  do
• 18:50
  those,
• 18:50
  those
• 18:51
  check
• 18:51
  ins,
• 18:52
  you
• 18:52
  know,
• 18:53
  and
• 18:53
  he
• 18:53
  did
• 18:54
  not
• 18:54
  have
• 18:54
  that.
• 18:55
  He
• 18:56
  did
• 18:56
  not
• 18:56
  have
• 18:56
  that
• 18:56
  support,
• 18:58
  like.
• 18:58
  And
• 18:59
  look,
• 19:00
  I
• 19:00
  mean,
• 19:00
  most
• 19:00
  men
• 19:01
  don't
• 19:02
  have
• 19:02
  a
• 19:02
  big
• 19:02
  community
• 19:03
  of
• 19:03
  men.
• 19:03
  A
• 19:03
  lot
• 19:04
  of
• 19:04
  men
• 19:04
  kind
• 19:04
  of
• 19:05
  internalize
• 19:05
  and
• 19:06
  they,
• 19:06
  you
• 19:07
  know,
• 19:07
  they
• 19:07
  don't
• 19:07
  want
• 19:07
  to
• 19:07
  talk
• 19:07
  about
• 19:08
  it.
• 19:08
  But
• 19:08
  I,
• 19:08
  I
• 19:08
  think
• 19:09
  I
• 19:09
  told
• 19:09
  you
• 19:09
  when
• 19:09
  my
• 19:10
  best
• 19:10
  friend
• 19:10
  was
• 19:10
  sitting
• 19:11
  in
• 19:11
  the
• 19:11
  waiting
• 19:11
  room
• 19:12
  with
• 19:12
  him,
• 19:13
  I
• 19:13
  think
• 19:13
  it
• 19:13
  was
• 19:13
  on
• 19:13
  my
• 19:14
  first
• 19:14
  surgery,
• 19:14
  it
• 19:14
  was
• 19:15
  like
• 19:15
  15
• 19:15
  hours.
• 19:15
  It
• 19:16
  was
• 19:16
  crazy.
• 19:16
  She
• 19:17
  hadn't
• 19:17
  seen
• 19:17
  him
• 19:17
  in
• 19:17
  a
• 19:17
  while
• 19:18
  since
• 19:18
  we
• 19:18
  separated.
• 19:18
  She
• 19:18
  was
• 19:19
  like,
• 19:19
  how
• 19:19
  are
• 19:19
  you
• 19:19
  doing?
• 19:19
  I
• 19:20
  haven't
• 19:20
  seen
• 19:20
  you
• 19:20
  since
• 19:20
  you
• 19:21
  guys
• 19:21
  separate.
• 19:21
  But
• 19:21
  she's
• 19:21
  always
• 19:22
  been
• 19:22
  fond
• 19:22
  of
• 19:22
  him.
• 19:22
  She's
• 19:23
  like,
• 19:23
  how
• 19:23
  are
• 19:23
  you
• 19:23
  doing?
• 19:23
  He's
• 19:23
  like,
• 19:24
  I
• 19:24
  don't
• 19:25
  have
• 19:25
  anybody.
• 19:26
  I'm
• 19:26
  just
• 19:26
  trying
• 19:26
  to
• 19:27
  like,
• 19:27
  take
• 19:27
  care
• 19:27
  of
• 19:29
  our
• 19:29
  daughters,
• 19:31
  you
• 19:31
  know,
• 19:31
  and
• 19:32
  you
• 19:32
  know,
• 19:33
  make
• 19:33
  sure
• 19:33
  that
• 19:33
  their
• 19:33
  mom
• 19:34
  is
• 19:34
  okay
• 19:34
  and
• 19:35
  stuff
• 19:35
  like
• 19:35
  that.
• 19:35
  So
• 19:35
  he
• 19:35
  didn't
• 19:35
  really
• 19:36
  have
• 19:36
  a
• 19:36
  support
• 19:37
  system.
• 19:38
  And
• 19:38
  you
• 19:38
  know,
• 19:38
  and
• 19:38
  I
• 19:38
  remember
• 19:39
  him
• 19:39
  saying
• 19:39
  to
• 19:39
  me
• 19:40
  a
• 19:40
  couple
• 19:40
  years
• 19:40
  ago,
• 19:40
  or
• 19:41
  I
• 19:41
  think
• 19:41
  like
• 19:42
  two
• 19:42
  years
• 19:42
  ago,
• 19:42
  like,
• 19:43
  I
• 19:43
  think
• 19:43
  he
• 19:43
  was
• 19:44
  having
• 19:44
  a
• 19:44
  moment.
• 19:44
  He
• 19:44
  was
• 19:45
  like,
• 19:45
  I
• 19:46
  still
• 19:46
  can't
• 19:46
  believe
• 19:46
  what
• 19:46
  you
• 19:47
  went
• 19:47
  through.
• 19:47
  I
• 19:47
  really
• 19:47
  wish
• 19:48
  that
• 19:48
  I
• 19:49
  went
• 19:49
  through
• 19:49
  that
• 19:49
  and
• 19:50
  you
• 19:50
  didn't.
• 19:50
  So,
• 19:51
  you
• 19:51
  know,
• 19:51
  there's,
• 19:52
  as
• 19:52
  you
• 19:52
  can
• 19:52
  see,
• 19:53
  there's
• 19:53
  great
• 19:53
  love.
• 19:54
  We
• 19:54
  co
• 19:54
  parent
• 19:54
  a
• 19:55
  dog,
• 19:55
  we
• 19:55
  co
• 19:55
  parent
• 19:56
  our
• 19:56
  daughters.
• 19:56
  At
• 19:57
  the
• 19:57
  end
• 19:57
  of
• 19:57
  the
• 19:57
  day,
• 19:57
  we
• 19:58
  put
• 19:59
  all
• 19:59
  of
• 19:59
  our
• 20:00
  aside
• 20:01
  because
• 20:01
  we
• 20:01
  have
• 20:01
  daughters
• 20:02
  and
• 20:02
  we
• 20:02
  want
• 20:02
  to
• 20:02
  be
• 20:03
  these
• 20:04
  beautiful
• 20:05
  role
• 20:05
  models
• 20:06
  as
• 20:06
  parents,
• 20:06
  not
• 20:07
  just
• 20:07
  for
• 20:07
  our
• 20:07
  kids,
• 20:08
  but
• 20:08
  also
• 20:08
  for
• 20:09
  other
• 20:09
  friends
• 20:09
  that
• 20:10
  are
• 20:10
  going
• 20:10
  through
• 20:10
  us.
• 20:10
  Like,
• 20:11
  let's
• 20:11
  just
• 20:11
  put
• 20:11
  your
• 20:11
  kids
• 20:12
  are
• 20:12
  priority.
• 20:13
  And
• 20:14
  not
• 20:14
  only
• 20:14
  that,
• 20:14
  like,
• 20:15
  I
• 20:15
  think
• 20:15
  even
• 20:15
  if
• 20:15
  we
• 20:16
  didn't
• 20:16
  have
• 20:16
  kids.
• 20:16
  I
• 20:17
  mean,
• 20:17
  going
• 20:18
  back
• 20:18
  to
• 20:18
  self
• 20:19
  love
• 20:19
  and
• 20:20
  self
• 20:20
  care,
• 20:20
  like
• 20:21
  it's
• 20:21
  so
• 20:21
  important.
• 20:22
  Like
• 20:22
  just
• 20:23
  who
• 20:24
  wants
• 20:24
  that
• 20:24
  kind
• 20:24
  of
• 20:24
  drama
• 20:25
  and
• 20:25
  that
• 20:25
  kind
• 20:25
  of
• 20:26
  energy
• 20:26
  in
• 20:26
  your,
• 20:27
  in
• 20:27
  your
• 20:27
  life?
• 20:28
  You
• 20:28
  know
• 20:28
  what
• 20:28
  I
• 20:28
  mean?
• 20:29
  So
• 20:29
  I
• 20:29
  think
• 20:29
  it's
• 20:29
  a
• 20:29
  healthy
• 20:30
  thing,
• 20:31
  you
• 20:31
  know,
• 20:31
  like
• 20:31
  I'm
• 20:32
  still
• 20:32
  close
• 20:32
  with
• 20:33
  all
• 20:33
  of
• 20:33
  my
• 20:33
  exes
• 20:34
  with
• 20:34
  the.
• 20:34
  Except
• 20:35
  with
• 20:35
  the
• 20:35
  exception
• 20:35
  of
• 20:36
  the
• 20:36
  man
• 20:36
  that
• 20:36
  was
• 20:37
  my
• 20:37
  bicoastal
• 20:38
  guy
• 20:38
  for
• 20:38
  four
• 20:39
  years
• 20:39
  in
• 20:39
  New
• 20:39
  York.
• 20:39
  We
• 20:39
  don't
• 20:40
  talk
• 20:40
  anymore.
• 20:40
  I
• 20:41
  have
• 20:41
  friends
• 20:41
  that
• 20:41
  also
• 20:42
  have
• 20:42
  been
• 20:43
  remain
• 20:43
  close
• 20:43
  with
• 20:43
  their
• 20:44
  exes.
• 20:44
  And
• 20:45
  it's
• 20:45
  so
• 20:45
  individual
• 20:46
  and
• 20:46
  it's
• 20:46
  so
• 20:46
  personal.
• 20:47
  Right.
• 20:47
  It's
• 20:47
  like
• 20:48
  sometimes
• 20:48
  you
• 20:49
  can
• 20:49
  and
• 20:49
  sometimes
• 20:50
  you
• 20:50
  can't.
• 20:50
  But
• 20:50
  that's
• 20:51
  really
• 20:51
  interesting
• 20:51
  that
• 20:52
  you
• 20:52
  can.
• 20:52
  I
• 20:53
  think
• 20:53
  that's,
• 20:53
  that's
• 20:54
  great.
• 20:54
  That
• 20:54
  kind
• 20:55
  of
• 20:55
  shows
• 20:55
  your
• 20:57
  emotional
• 20:57
  evolution,
• 20:58
  you
• 20:58
  know,
• 20:58
  I
• 20:59
  mean,
• 20:59
  that
• 20:59
  you
• 20:59
  can
• 21:00
  have
• 21:00
  those
• 21:00
  people
• 21:01
  back
• 21:01
  in
• 21:01
  your
• 21:01
  life,
• 21:02
  you
• 21:02
  know?
• 21:02
  I
• 21:02
  have
• 21:02
  a
• 21:03
  partner
• 21:03
  now,
• 21:03
  Charlie.
• 21:03
  We've
• 21:04
  been
• 21:04
  together
• 21:04
  almost
• 21:04
  six
• 21:04
  years.
• 21:05
  And
• 21:05
  Steve
• 21:06
  has,
• 21:06
  is
• 21:07
  with
• 21:07
  somebody
• 21:07
  new.
• 21:07
  She's
• 21:08
  lovely
• 21:08
  and
• 21:08
  she
• 21:09
  has
• 21:09
  a
• 21:09
  boy.
• 21:10
  And
• 21:10
  they've
• 21:10
  been
• 21:10
  together
• 21:11
  two
• 21:11
  plus
• 21:11
  years.
• 21:11
  And
• 21:12
  we've
• 21:12
  had
• 21:12
  a
• 21:12
  couple
• 21:13
  of
• 21:13
  family
• 21:13
  gatherings
• 21:13
  for
• 21:14
  holidays
• 21:14
  and
• 21:14
  we
• 21:14
  all,
• 21:15
  we
• 21:15
  get
• 21:15
  along
• 21:16
  and
• 21:16
  I
• 21:16
  think
• 21:16
  it's
• 21:16
  very
• 21:17
  important
• 21:17
  for
• 21:18
  his
• 21:18
  mental
• 21:18
  health,
• 21:18
  my
• 21:19
  mental
• 21:19
  health,
• 21:20
  Kate's,
• 21:20
  Charlie's,
• 21:21
  the
• 21:21
  kids,
• 21:21
  everybody,
• 21:22
  like
• 21:22
  I
• 21:22
  just
• 21:22
  think
• 21:23
  it's
• 21:23
  just.
• 21:23
  And
• 21:23
  for
• 21:23
  everybody,
• 21:24
  like
• 21:24
  friends
• 21:24
  that
• 21:25
  we
• 21:25
  all
• 21:25
  can
• 21:25
  be
• 21:25
  together
• 21:26
  with.
• 21:26
  No.
• 21:28
  You
• 21:28
  know,
• 21:28
  so
• 21:28
  I
• 21:28
  think
• 21:28
  that's
• 21:29
  very
• 21:29
  important.
• 21:31
  Time,
• 21:31
  I
• 21:32
  mean,
• 21:32
  it
• 21:32
  takes
• 21:33
  time.
• 21:33
  And
• 21:34
  again,
• 21:34
  you
• 21:34
  have
• 21:34
  to
• 21:35
  be
• 21:35
  at
• 21:35
  a,
• 21:36
  you
• 21:36
  know,
• 21:37
  I
• 21:37
  don't
• 21:37
  know.
• 21:37
  But
• 21:38
  yeah,
• 21:38
  it
• 21:38
  takes
• 21:38
  time.
• 21:38
  And
• 21:38
  not
• 21:39
  everybody
• 21:39
  could
• 21:39
  just
• 21:39
  step
• 21:39
  into
• 21:40
  like
• 21:40
  being
• 21:40
  great
• 21:40
  friends
• 21:41
  with
• 21:41
  their,
• 21:42
  their
• 21:42
  ex
• 21:42
  wife
• 21:42
  or
• 21:43
  sometimes
• 21:44
  it's
• 21:44
  a
• 21:44
  journey.
• 21:44
  Exactly.
• 21:45
  It
• 21:45
  also
• 21:45
  depends
• 21:46
  on
• 21:46
  why.
• 21:46
  Why
• 21:47
  you
• 21:47
  split
• 21:47
  up
• 21:47
  too,
• 21:48
  right?
• 21:48
  We
• 21:48
  didn't
• 21:48
  split
• 21:48
  up
• 21:48
  because
• 21:49
  there
• 21:49
  was
• 21:49
  a
• 21:49
  need
• 21:49
  to
• 21:50
  see
• 21:50
  or
• 21:50
  affair
• 21:51
  or
• 21:51
  anything
• 21:51
  like
• 21:52
  that.
• 21:52
  We
• 21:52
  recognize
• 21:53
  like,
• 21:53
  okay,
• 21:54
  we
• 21:54
  tried,
• 21:55
  we
• 21:55
  love
• 21:55
  each
• 21:55
  other,
• 21:56
  but
• 21:56
  we
• 21:56
  really
• 21:57
  just
• 21:57
  don't
• 21:57
  get
• 21:58
  along
• 21:58
  and
• 21:58
  we
• 21:58
  grew
• 21:58
  apart.
• 21:59
  In
• 21:59
  some
• 21:59
  ways,
• 22:00
  you
• 22:00
  almost
• 22:00
  like
• 22:00
  saved
• 22:01
  the
• 22:01
  relationship
• 22:02
  before
• 22:03
  it
• 22:03
  went
• 22:03
  to
• 22:04
  a
• 22:04
  place
• 22:04
  where
• 22:04
  it
• 22:05
  could
• 22:05
  maybe
• 22:05
  not
• 22:05
  be
• 22:06
  repaired.
• 22:06
  You
• 22:06
  know,
• 22:06
  it's
• 22:07
  like
• 22:07
  you
• 22:07
  all,
• 22:07
  you
• 22:08
  took
• 22:08
  the
• 22:08
  step
• 22:09
  to
• 22:09
  kind
• 22:09
  of
• 22:10
  cut
• 22:10
  it
• 22:10
  when
• 22:10
  you
• 22:11
  cut
• 22:11
  it.
• 22:11
  And
• 22:12
  so
• 22:12
  then,
• 22:12
  you
• 22:13
  know,
• 22:13
  you
• 22:13
  kind
• 22:14
  of
• 22:14
  saved
• 22:14
  it.
• 22:14
  In
• 22:14
  some
• 22:14
  ways
• 22:15
  you
• 22:15
  preserved
• 22:16
  it.
• 22:16
  Yeah,
• 22:17
  exactly.
• 22:17
  And
• 22:17
  like
• 22:17
  I
• 22:17
  said,
• 22:18
  like
• 22:18
  I
• 22:18
  remember
• 22:18
  my
• 22:19
  daughters
• 22:20
  when
• 22:20
  we
• 22:20
  were
• 22:20
  together,
• 22:21
  when
• 22:21
  I
• 22:21
  was
• 22:21
  with
• 22:22
  Steven,
• 22:22
  we
• 22:22
  were
• 22:22
  in
• 22:22
  the
• 22:23
  car,
• 22:23
  I
• 22:23
  was
• 22:23
  like
• 22:23
  headed
• 22:23
  to
• 22:24
  school
• 22:24
  with
• 22:24
  the
• 22:24
  kids
• 22:24
  and
• 22:25
  he
• 22:25
  called
• 22:26
  and
• 22:26
  when
• 22:26
  I
• 22:26
  hung
• 22:27
  up,
• 22:27
  my
• 22:28
  Ava,
• 22:28
  who
• 22:28
  was,
• 22:28
  I
• 22:29
  don't
• 22:29
  know,
• 22:29
  five,
• 22:29
  six
• 22:30
  at
• 22:30
  the
• 22:30
  time.
• 22:30
  I
• 22:30
  don't
• 22:30
  know
• 22:30
  Said
• 22:31
  something
• 22:31
  like,
• 22:31
  you
• 22:31
  don't
• 22:31
  say
• 22:31
  I
• 22:32
  love
• 22:32
  you
• 22:32
  to
• 22:32
  daddy
• 22:32
  anymore.
• 22:33
  And
• 22:33
  I
• 22:33
  noticed
• 22:33
  you
• 22:33
  don't
• 22:34
  hold
• 22:34
  his
• 22:34
  hand
• 22:34
  anymore.
• 22:34
  And
• 22:35
  I
• 22:35
  was
• 22:35
  like,
• 22:35
  okay,
• 22:36
  this
• 22:36
  is
• 22:37
  it.
• 22:37
  This
• 22:37
  is
• 22:38
  the
• 22:38
  time
• 22:38
  that
• 22:38
  we
• 22:39
  need
• 22:39
  to.
• 22:41
  We
• 22:41
  need
• 22:41
  to
• 22:41
  do
• 22:42
  something.
• 22:42
  Do
• 22:42
  you
• 22:42
  start,
• 22:42
  like,
• 22:43
  therapy
• 22:43
  and
• 22:43
  things
• 22:43
  like
• 22:44
  that?
• 22:44
  We
• 22:45
  were
• 22:45
  doing
• 22:45
  therapy
• 22:45
  prior
• 22:46
  to
• 22:46
  that,
• 22:46
  and
• 22:46
  then.
• 22:47
  And
• 22:47
  then,
• 22:47
  honestly,
• 22:48
  I.
• 22:48
  I
• 22:49
  just
• 22:49
  pulled
• 22:49
  the
• 22:50
  plug
• 22:50
  on
• 22:50
  therapy,
• 22:50
  too.
• 22:50
  I'm
• 22:51
  like,
• 22:51
  this
• 22:51
  isn't.
• 22:52
  This.
• 22:52
  This
• 22:53
  isn't
• 22:53
  working,
• 22:54
  you
• 22:54
  know,
• 22:55
  and.
• 22:57
  Yeah,
• 22:58
  but
• 22:58
  he's.
• 22:58
  He's
• 22:59
  awesome.
• 22:59
  He's
• 22:59
  amazing.
• 23:00
  I
• 23:00
  mean,
• 23:00
  he.
• 23:00
  He's.
• 23:00
  He's
• 23:01
  great.
• 23:01
  He's
• 23:01
  a.
• 23:01
  He's
• 23:02
  a
• 23:02
  great
• 23:02
  man.
• 23:03
  He's
• 23:03
  a
• 23:03
  very
• 23:03
  good
• 23:04
  friend,
• 23:04
  and
• 23:04
  he
• 23:05
  works
• 23:05
  very
• 23:05
  hard
• 23:06
  and
• 23:06
  he
• 23:06
  carries
• 23:07
  a
• 23:07
  lot
• 23:07
  of
• 23:07
  stress,
• 23:07
  but
• 23:08
  he
• 23:08
  still
• 23:08
  shows
• 23:08
  up
• 23:08
  and
• 23:09
  does
• 23:09
  things
• 23:11
  like,
• 23:11
  he'll
• 23:11
  show
• 23:12
  up.
• 23:12
  Like,
• 23:12
  he
• 23:12
  just
• 23:12
  fix
• 23:12
  it.
• 23:13
  A
• 23:13
  pipe
• 23:13
  in
• 23:13
  my
• 23:14
  yard
• 23:14
  that
• 23:14
  was
• 23:14
  leaking
• 23:15
  at
• 23:15
  9
• 23:15
  o'
• 23:15
  clock
• 23:15
  the
• 23:16
  other
• 23:16
  night.
• 23:16
  Like,
• 23:17
  yeah.
• 23:17
  I
• 23:18
  mean,
• 23:18
  people
• 23:19
  are
• 23:19
  telling
• 23:19
  us
• 23:19
  to
• 23:19
  have
• 23:19
  our
• 23:19
  own
• 23:20
  podcast
• 23:20
  or
• 23:20
  write
• 23:21
  a
• 23:21
  book.
• 23:21
  Like,
• 23:21
  with
• 23:21
  what
• 23:21
  time
• 23:22
  do
• 23:22
  we
• 23:22
  have?
• 23:22
  I
• 23:22
  would
• 23:22
  love
• 23:23
  it,
• 23:23
  but,
• 23:23
  you
• 23:24
  know,
• 23:24
  eventually
• 23:25
  add
• 23:25
  it
• 23:25
  to
• 23:25
  the
• 23:25
  list.
• 23:26
  Yes,
• 23:27
  I
• 23:27
  know.
• 23:27
  I
• 23:28
  mean,
• 23:28
  seriously,
• 23:29
  it
• 23:29
  actually
• 23:29
  is
• 23:30
  a
• 23:30
  great
• 23:30
  idea.
• 23:31
  Like,
• 23:31
  you
• 23:31
  guys
• 23:32
  have
• 23:32
  sort
• 23:32
  of
• 23:32
  mastered,
• 23:33
  you
• 23:33
  know,
• 23:33
  remaining
• 23:34
  good
• 23:34
  friends,
• 23:34
  and
• 23:35
  a
• 23:35
  lot
• 23:35
  of
• 23:35
  people
• 23:36
  can't.
• 23:36
  I
• 23:36
  wanted
• 23:37
  to
• 23:37
  ask
• 23:37
  you,
• 23:37
  too,
• 23:38
  going
• 23:38
  back
• 23:38
  to,
• 23:38
  like,
• 23:39
  the
• 23:39
  surgeries
• 23:39
  and,
• 23:40
  like,
• 23:40
  kind
• 23:40
  of
• 23:40
  all
• 23:41
  the
• 23:41
  things
• 23:41
  you
• 23:41
  went
• 23:41
  through
• 23:43
  with
• 23:43
  that,
• 23:44
  what
• 23:45
  did
• 23:45
  that
• 23:46
  feel
• 23:46
  like?
• 23:46
  Like,
• 23:46
  the
• 23:47
  first
• 23:47
  time
• 23:47
  you
• 23:47
  saw
• 23:48
  your
• 23:48
  body,
• 23:49
  the.
• 23:49
  You
• 23:49
  know,
• 23:49
  when
• 23:50
  it
• 23:50
  looked
• 23:50
  different,
• 23:50
  what
• 23:51
  was
• 23:51
  that?
• 23:51
  Tell
• 23:52
  me
• 23:52
  about
• 23:52
  that.
• 23:52
  My
• 23:53
  background
• 23:53
  is
• 23:53
  a
• 23:54
  personal
• 23:54
  stylist.
• 23:54
  I've
• 23:54
  been
• 23:55
  fashioned
• 23:55
  for
• 23:56
  I
• 23:56
  was,
• 23:56
  gosh,
• 23:57
  18
• 23:57
  years
• 23:57
  old.
• 23:58
  So
• 23:59
  part
• 23:59
  of
• 23:59
  my
• 23:59
  job
• 24:00
  as
• 24:00
  a
• 24:00
  personal
• 24:00
  stylist
• 24:01
  was
• 24:02
  helping
• 24:02
  women,
• 24:03
  you
• 24:04
  know,
• 24:05
  with
• 24:05
  their
• 24:05
  style
• 24:06
  changes
• 24:07
  in
• 24:07
  their
• 24:07
  bodies
• 24:08
  and
• 24:08
  make
• 24:08
  them
• 24:08
  feel
• 24:08
  empowered
• 24:09
  and
• 24:09
  sexy
• 24:09
  and
• 24:09
  beautiful
• 24:10
  at
• 24:10
  all
• 24:10
  times
• 24:10
  to.
• 24:11
  To
• 24:11
  find
• 24:11
  their,
• 24:11
  you
• 24:12
  know,
• 24:12
  to
• 24:13
  find
• 24:13
  their
• 24:13
  best
• 24:13
  self.
• 24:14
  Right?
• 24:14
  Like,
• 24:14
  that
• 24:15
  part
• 24:15
  of
• 24:15
  my
• 24:15
  job,
• 24:16
  Roxy,
• 24:16
  like,
• 24:16
  to
• 24:17
  make
• 24:17
  you
• 24:17
  feel
• 24:18
  amazing.
• 24:19
  And
• 24:19
  you
• 24:19
  are
• 24:20
  good
• 24:20
  at
• 24:20
  it,
• 24:21
  too,
• 24:21
  by
• 24:21
  the
• 24:21
  way.
• 24:23
  You
• 24:24
  know,
• 24:24
  getting
• 24:24
  those
• 24:24
  calls
• 24:25
  and.
• 24:25
  Or
• 24:25
  texts
• 24:26
  from
• 24:26
  clients
• 24:26
  saying,
• 24:27
  my
• 24:27
  husband
• 24:27
  just
• 24:27
  knows
• 24:28
  my
• 24:28
  ass.
• 24:28
  And
• 24:28
  those
• 24:28
  white
• 24:29
  jeans.
• 24:29
  Thank
• 24:29
  you
• 24:29
  so
• 24:30
  much.
• 24:30
  Yes.
• 24:31
  Boom.
• 24:32
  Did
• 24:32
  my
• 24:32
  job
• 24:33
  anyway.
• 24:33
  That
• 24:34
  was
• 24:34
  part
• 24:34
  of
• 24:34
  who
• 24:34
  I
• 24:35
  was,
• 24:35
  making
• 24:36
  women
• 24:36
  feel
• 24:37
  amazing.
• 24:38
  So
• 24:39
  fast
• 24:39
  forward
• 24:39
  and
• 24:39
  going
• 24:40
  through
• 24:40
  my
• 24:40
  whole
• 24:41
  journey,
• 24:41
  when
• 24:41
  I
• 24:41
  had
• 24:42
  the
• 24:42
  implants,
• 24:44
  I
• 24:44
  had
• 24:45
  a
• 24:45
  really,
• 24:45
  really
• 24:45
  hard
• 24:45
  time,
• 24:46
  I
• 24:47
  believe.
• 24:47
  Let's
• 24:48
  see.
• 24:48
  I
• 24:48
  had
• 24:49
  the
• 24:49
  implants
• 24:50
  for
• 24:50
  just.
• 24:51
  Just
• 24:51
  about.
• 24:52
  Just
• 24:52
  a
• 24:52
  year.
• 24:53
  I
• 24:53
  think
• 24:54
  I
• 24:54
  can
• 24:54
  count
• 24:55
  on
• 24:55
  my
• 24:55
  hand,
• 24:56
  my
• 24:56
  one
• 24:56
  hand,
• 24:57
  how
• 24:57
  many
• 24:57
  times
• 24:57
  I
• 24:57
  looked
• 24:58
  at
• 24:58
  myself
• 24:58
  in
• 24:58
  the
• 24:58
  mirror.
• 24:59
  I
• 24:59
  didn't
• 25:00
  recognize
• 25:00
  myself.
• 25:02
  I
• 25:02
  didn't
• 25:02
  like
• 25:02
  myself.
• 25:03
  My
• 25:03
  whole.
• 25:03
  My
• 25:04
  Confidence,
• 25:04
  self
• 25:05
  esteem
• 25:05
  was
• 25:05
  depleted,
• 25:06
  which
• 25:07
  happens
• 25:07
  with
• 25:09
  women
• 25:10
  going
• 25:10
  through
• 25:10
  various
• 25:11
  transitions
• 25:11
  life.
• 25:11
  But
• 25:12
  going
• 25:12
  through
• 25:13
  a
• 25:13
  cancer
• 25:13
  journey
• 25:14
  and
• 25:15
  losing
• 25:15
  your
• 25:15
  breasts
• 25:16
  or
• 25:16
  maybe
• 25:16
  having
• 25:17
  radiation
• 25:17
  or
• 25:17
  losing
• 25:18
  your
• 25:18
  hair
• 25:18
  and
• 25:18
  going
• 25:18
  through
• 25:18
  chemo,
• 25:19
  your
• 25:19
  body
• 25:19
  changes
• 25:20
  so
• 25:20
  much.
• 25:21
  So
• 25:21
  we
• 25:21
  are
• 25:21
  depleted
• 25:22
  of
• 25:22
  our
• 25:22
  confidence
• 25:22
  and
• 25:23
  self
• 25:23
  esteem.
• 25:23
  So
• 25:24
  it
• 25:24
  definitely
• 25:25
  took
• 25:25
  me
• 25:26
  a
• 25:26
  long
• 25:26
  time
• 25:27
  to
• 25:28
  just
• 25:29
  kind
• 25:29
  of
• 25:30
  process
• 25:30
  that.
• 25:30
  But
• 25:30
  I
• 25:31
  recognize
• 25:31
  going
• 25:31
  back
• 25:32
  to,
• 25:33
  I
• 25:33
  recognized
• 25:34
  in
• 25:34
  order
• 25:34
  for
• 25:35
  me
• 25:35
  to
• 25:35
  heal
• 25:35
  and
• 25:35
  love
• 25:36
  myself
• 25:36
  again,
• 25:36
  like
• 25:36
  I
• 25:37
  had
• 25:37
  to
• 25:37
  start
• 25:37
  like
• 25:39
  looking
• 25:39
  at
• 25:39
  my
• 25:39
  body
• 25:39
  and
• 25:40
  paying
• 25:40
  attention,
• 25:41
  see
• 25:41
  what
• 25:41
  works
• 25:41
  for
• 25:41
  me
• 25:42
  and
• 25:42
  really
• 25:42
  like
• 25:43
  leaning
• 25:43
  into
• 25:44
  this
• 25:44
  new
• 25:45
  body.
• 25:45
  So
• 25:46
  that
• 25:46
  took
• 25:46
  some
• 25:46
  time,
• 25:47
  heavy
• 25:47
  therapy
• 25:48
  obviously.
• 25:49
  And
• 25:49
  I
• 25:50
  slowly
• 25:50
  started,
• 25:51
  for
• 25:51
  a
• 25:51
  lack
• 25:52
  of
• 25:52
  a
• 25:52
  better
• 25:52
  word,
• 25:52
  came
• 25:52
  out
• 25:53
  of
• 25:53
  my
• 25:53
  shell
• 25:53
  and
• 25:53
  just
• 25:53
  started
• 25:54
  getting
• 25:54
  dressed
• 25:55
  again
• 25:56
  and
• 25:56
  started
• 25:56
  feeling
• 25:56
  like
• 25:56
  myself.
• 25:57
  But
• 25:57
  and
• 25:57
  also
• 25:58
  recognize
• 25:58
  that
• 25:58
  getting
• 25:59
  dressed
• 25:59
  was
• 25:59
  part
• 25:59
  of
• 26:00
  my
• 26:00
  healing.
• 26:01
  Like,
• 26:01
  I
• 26:01
  really
• 26:01
  looked
• 26:02
  forward
• 26:02
  to
• 26:02
  getting
• 26:02
  dressed.
• 26:03
  On
• 26:03
  the
• 26:03
  days
• 26:03
  that
• 26:03
  I
• 26:03
  didn't
• 26:04
  feel
• 26:04
  great,
• 26:05
  I
• 26:05
  would
• 26:05
  put
• 26:05
  on
• 26:05
  a
• 26:06
  pretty
• 26:06
  lip
• 26:06
  tint,
• 26:06
  right.
• 26:07
  Or
• 26:07
  put
• 26:07
  on
• 26:07
  some
• 26:07
  pretty
• 26:08
  jewelry.
• 26:08
  Because
• 26:09
  from
• 26:09
  here
• 26:10
  down
• 26:10
  just
• 26:10
  didn't
• 26:11
  feel
• 26:11
  right
• 26:11
  no
• 26:11
  matter
• 26:12
  what
• 26:12
  I
• 26:12
  put
• 26:12
  on
• 26:13
  put
• 26:13
  on.
• 26:13
  But
• 26:14
  doing
• 26:14
  these
• 26:14
  little
• 26:15
  micro,
• 26:15
  little
• 26:16
  things
• 26:16
  helped
• 26:17
  me,
• 26:17
  you
• 26:17
  know,
• 26:18
  definitely
• 26:18
  took
• 26:19
  some
• 26:19
  time
• 26:19
  for
• 26:20
  sure.
• 26:20
  So
• 26:21
  during
• 26:21
  that
• 26:22
  time,
• 26:22
  as
• 26:22
  I
• 26:23
  was
• 26:24
  kind
• 26:24
  of
• 26:24
  going
• 26:25
  through
• 26:25
  all
• 26:25
  of
• 26:25
  those,
• 26:26
  my
• 26:27
  business
• 26:27
  suffered
• 26:28
  because
• 26:28
  I
• 26:28
  couldn't
• 26:28
  show
• 26:28
  up
• 26:29
  for
• 26:29
  my
• 26:29
  clients.
• 26:30
  And
• 26:30
  I
• 26:31
  was
• 26:31
  very
• 26:31
  transparent
• 26:32
  with
• 26:32
  them.
• 26:32
  Like,
• 26:32
  look,
• 26:32
  I,
• 26:33
  I,
• 26:33
  you
• 26:33
  know,
• 26:34
  I'm
• 26:34
  grateful
• 26:34
  for
• 26:34
  this
• 26:35
  opportunity
• 26:35
  and
• 26:35
  I
• 26:35
  want
• 26:35
  to
• 26:36
  help
• 26:36
  you,
• 26:36
  but
• 26:36
  like,
• 26:37
  I
• 26:38
  can't
• 26:39
  provide
• 26:39
  for
• 26:39
  you
• 26:40
  because
• 26:40
  I
• 26:40
  don't
• 26:40
  feel
• 26:40
  good.
• 26:41
  Like
• 26:41
  this
• 26:41
  does
• 26:41
  not
• 26:41
  excite
• 26:42
  me
• 26:42
  right
• 26:42
  now,
• 26:42
  getting
• 26:43
  dressed
• 26:43
  or,
• 26:43
  you
• 26:44
  know,
• 26:44
  so
• 26:44
  that
• 26:44
  was
• 26:44
  definitely
• 26:45
  a
• 26:45
  whole,
• 26:46
  a
• 26:46
  whole
• 26:46
  nother
• 26:47
  layer
• 26:47
  that
• 26:47
  I
• 26:47
  had
• 26:48
  to
• 26:48
  kind
• 26:48
  of
• 26:49
  to
• 26:49
  do
• 26:49
  it.
• 26:50
  Once
• 26:50
  you
• 26:50
  are
• 26:50
  declared
• 26:51
  cancer
• 26:51
  free
• 26:52
  or
• 26:52
  your
• 26:53
  treatment
• 26:53
  is
• 26:53
  done,
• 26:54
  you
• 26:55
  look
• 26:55
  at
• 26:55
  yourself
• 26:55
  and
• 26:56
  it's
• 26:56
  like
• 26:56
  looking
• 26:56
  at
• 26:57
  a
• 26:57
  totally
• 26:57
  different
• 26:58
  person,
• 26:59
  I
• 26:59
  would
• 26:59
  imagine
• 27:00
  in
• 27:00
  a
• 27:00
  lot
• 27:00
  of,
• 27:00
  a
• 27:01
  lot
• 27:01
  of
• 27:01
  ways.
• 27:01
  And
• 27:01
  like,
• 27:02
  I
• 27:02
  think
• 27:02
  people
• 27:02
  just
• 27:03
  kind
• 27:03
  of,
• 27:03
  you
• 27:03
  know,
• 27:03
  forget
• 27:04
  about
• 27:04
  the
• 27:04
  patient
• 27:04
  in
• 27:05
  that
• 27:05
  way.
• 27:05
  I
• 27:06
  say
• 27:06
  this
• 27:06
  often,
• 27:07
  and
• 27:07
  this
• 27:07
  is
• 27:07
  what
• 27:08
  is
• 27:09
  really
• 27:09
  behind
• 27:09
  my
• 27:10
  whole
• 27:10
  mission
• 27:10
  movement
• 27:11
  with
• 27:11
  the
• 27:11
  project
• 27:12
  is
• 27:13
  when
• 27:13
  you
• 27:14
  are
• 27:14
  faced
• 27:14
  with
• 27:14
  cancer,
• 27:16
  when
• 27:16
  you're
• 27:16
  in
• 27:17
  it,
• 27:17
  all
• 27:17
  you're
• 27:18
  doing
• 27:18
  is
• 27:18
  trying
• 27:18
  to
• 27:19
  survive.
• 27:20
  Literally
• 27:20
  that
• 27:21
  is
• 27:21
  all
• 27:21
  we,
• 27:21
  we're
• 27:21
  just
• 27:22
  trying
• 27:22
  to
• 27:22
  survive.
• 27:23
  But
• 27:24
  you
• 27:24
  don't
• 27:24
  really
• 27:24
  start
• 27:25
  to
• 27:25
  heal
• 27:26
  until
• 27:27
  after
• 27:27
  you're
• 27:28
  done.
• 27:28
  All
• 27:28
  your
• 27:28
  treatments
• 27:29
  gonna
• 27:29
  take
• 27:29
  months.
• 27:30
  Like
• 27:30
  emotionally,
• 27:31
  mentally,
• 27:31
  physically,
• 27:32
  you're
• 27:32
  on
• 27:32
  a
• 27:33
  healing
• 27:33
  journey
• 27:33
  for
• 27:34
  a,
• 27:34
  for
• 27:35
  the
• 27:35
  rest
• 27:35
  of
• 27:35
  your
• 27:35
  life,
• 27:36
  of
• 27:36
  course.
• 27:36
  But
• 27:36
  like,
• 27:37
  you
• 27:37
  don't
• 27:38
  really
• 27:38
  start
• 27:38
  to
• 27:38
  heal.
• 27:39
  I
• 27:39
  mean,
• 27:40
  for
• 27:40
  me,
• 27:41
  I
• 27:41
  don't
• 27:41
  think
• 27:41
  I
• 27:42
  really
• 27:42
  truly
• 27:42
  started
• 27:43
  to
• 27:43
  heal
• 27:43
  until
• 27:44
  like
• 27:45
  two
• 27:45
  years,
• 27:46
  three
• 27:46
  years
• 27:46
  after
• 27:47
  I
• 27:47
  Removed
• 27:47
  my
• 27:47
  implants
• 27:48
  and
• 27:48
  started
• 27:48
  like
• 27:49
  therapy
• 27:50
  and
• 27:50
  started
• 27:50
  like
• 27:51
  taking
• 27:51
  true
• 27:52
  like
• 27:52
  care
• 27:52
  of
• 27:53
  my
• 27:53
  body
• 27:53
  and
• 27:54
  seeing
• 27:54
  what
• 27:54
  it
• 27:54
  was
• 27:54
  now
• 27:55
  capable
• 27:55
  of.
• 27:56
  And
• 27:56
  also
• 27:57
  dating
• 27:58
  again.
• 27:58
  We
• 27:58
  talked
• 27:59
  about
• 27:59
  that
• 27:59
  briefly.
• 28:00
  Like
• 28:00
  that
• 28:00
  was
• 28:01
  a
• 28:01
  whole,
• 28:01
  like,
• 28:02
  how
• 28:02
  was
• 28:02
  that?
• 28:03
  Because
• 28:03
  you're,
• 28:03
  you're
• 28:03
  healing
• 28:04
  but
• 28:04
  you're
• 28:04
  also
• 28:05
  putting
• 28:05
  yourself
• 28:05
  back
• 28:06
  out
• 28:06
  there
• 28:07
  again
• 28:07
  to
• 28:07
  date.
• 28:08
  So
• 28:08
  I'm
• 28:08
  going
• 28:09
  to
• 28:09
  say
• 28:09
  it,
• 28:09
  I'm
• 28:09
  going
• 28:09
  to
• 28:10
  drop
• 28:10
  it.
• 28:10
  It
• 28:10
  was
• 28:10
  fucking
• 28:11
  brutal.
• 28:13
  It
• 28:13
  really
• 28:13
  was.
• 28:14
  Because
• 28:15
  as
• 28:16
  I
• 28:16
  mentioned
• 28:16
  to
• 28:16
  you,
• 28:17
  when
• 28:17
  I
• 28:17
  was
• 28:17
  first
• 28:18
  diagnosed,
• 28:18
  I
• 28:19
  had
• 28:19
  the
• 28:19
  support
• 28:20
  of
• 28:21
  my
• 28:21
  ex
• 28:21
  husband
• 28:21
  and
• 28:22
  I
• 28:22
  had
• 28:22
  a
• 28:22
  partner
• 28:23
  who
• 28:23
  lived
• 28:23
  in
• 28:23
  New
• 28:24
  York.
• 28:24
  So
• 28:25
  I
• 28:25
  had
• 28:25
  the
• 28:25
  best
• 28:25
  of
• 28:26
  both
• 28:26
  worlds.
• 28:26
  I
• 28:26
  had
• 28:26
  a
• 28:27
  boyfriend
• 28:27
  and
• 28:27
  I
• 28:28
  had
• 28:28
  an
• 28:28
  ex
• 28:28
  husband
• 28:28
  that
• 28:29
  were
• 28:29
  so
• 28:29
  supportive
• 28:30
  and
• 28:30
  loved
• 28:30
  me
• 28:31
  as
• 28:31
  a
• 28:31
  whole.
• 28:32
  And
• 28:32
  then
• 28:33
  fast
• 28:33
  forward
• 28:33
  to
• 28:35
  the
• 28:35
  summer
• 28:35
  of
• 28:35
  2019,
• 28:36
  that
• 28:36
  four
• 28:37
  year
• 28:37
  relationship
• 28:38
  ended
• 28:38
  and
• 28:39
  I
• 28:39
  found
• 28:39
  myself
• 28:39
  single.
• 28:41
  And
• 28:41
  I
• 28:41
  was
• 28:41
  like,
• 28:42
  okay.
• 28:44
  I
• 28:44
  mean,
• 28:44
  this
• 28:44
  is
• 28:44
  a
• 28:45
  man
• 28:45
  that
• 28:45
  I've
• 28:45
  been
• 28:45
  with
• 28:45
  for
• 28:45
  four
• 28:45
  plus
• 28:46
  years.
• 28:46
  He's
• 28:46
  seen
• 28:46
  it
• 28:46
  all.
• 28:47
  He's
• 28:47
  seen,
• 28:47
  he
• 28:48
  knows,
• 28:48
  he's,
• 28:49
  he
• 28:49
  knows
• 28:49
  every
• 28:50
  scar.
• 28:50
  He
• 28:50
  knows
• 28:51
  exactly
• 28:51
  what
• 28:51
  I've
• 28:52
  been
• 28:52
  through.
• 28:53
  Was
• 28:53
  he
• 28:53
  supportive
• 28:54
  in
• 28:54
  that
• 28:54
  way,
• 28:54
  like
• 28:55
  of
• 28:55
  your
• 28:55
  body
• 28:55
  and
• 28:56
  loving
• 28:56
  you?
• 28:56
  You
• 28:57
  know,
• 28:57
  he
• 28:57
  was,
• 28:58
  he,
• 28:58
  he
• 28:58
  was,
• 28:59
  he,
• 28:59
  he
• 29:00
  loved
• 29:00
  me
• 29:01
  even
• 29:01
  if
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  had
• 29:01
  a
• 29:02
  paper
• 29:02
  bag
• 29:02
  on
• 29:02
  my
• 29:03
  head.
• 29:03
  He
• 29:03
  was
• 29:03
  very
• 29:03
  supportive
• 29:04
  and
• 29:05
  always
• 29:06
  complimented
• 29:07
  me
• 29:07
  and
• 29:07
  it
• 29:07
  was
• 29:07
  amazing
• 29:07
  and
• 29:08
  beautiful.
• 29:08
  But
• 29:08
  there
• 29:08
  were
• 29:09
  times
• 29:09
  where
• 29:10
  he
• 29:11
  didn't
• 29:11
  give
• 29:11
  me
• 29:12
  the
• 29:12
  space
• 29:13
  or
• 29:13
  the,
• 29:14
  or
• 29:14
  what's
• 29:15
  the
• 29:15
  word?
• 29:15
  The
• 29:15
  space
• 29:16
  to
• 29:16
  kind
• 29:16
  of
• 29:17
  process
• 29:17
  and
• 29:17
  go
• 29:18
  through
• 29:18
  all
• 29:18
  these
• 29:18
  things.
• 29:19
  He
• 29:19
  was
• 29:19
  constantly
• 29:20
  just
• 29:20
  saying,
• 29:20
  you
• 29:20
  got
• 29:21
  this,
• 29:21
  you're
• 29:21
  amazing,
• 29:22
  you're
• 29:22
  a
• 29:22
  warrior,
• 29:22
  you're
• 29:23
  this.
• 29:23
  Which
• 29:23
  is
• 29:24
  lovely
• 29:24
  to
• 29:25
  hear,
• 29:25
  but
• 29:25
  at
• 29:26
  the
• 29:26
  same
• 29:26
  time
• 29:26
  I
• 29:27
  need
• 29:27
  to
• 29:27
  be
• 29:27
  removed,
• 29:27
  taken
• 29:28
  down
• 29:28
  the
• 29:28
  pedestal
• 29:29
  a
• 29:29
  couple
• 29:29
  notches,
• 29:29
  like,
• 29:30
  because
• 29:30
  what
• 29:30
  I
• 29:31
  went
• 29:31
  through
• 29:31
  was
• 29:31
  heavy
• 29:32
  and
• 29:32
  it's,
• 29:32
  it's
• 29:33
  part
• 29:33
  of
• 29:33
  my
• 29:33
  life
• 29:34
  journey,
• 29:34
  you
• 29:35
  know,
• 29:35
  so,
• 29:36
  you
• 29:36
  know,
• 29:36
  it's
• 29:37
  okay
• 29:37
  for
• 29:37
  me
• 29:37
  to
• 29:38
  have
• 29:38
  weak
• 29:39
  moments,
• 29:39
  it's
• 29:39
  okay
• 29:40
  to
• 29:40
  have
• 29:40
  the
• 29:40
  highs
• 29:41
  and
• 29:41
  lows.
• 29:41
  It's
• 29:41
  okay
• 29:42
  for
• 29:42
  me
• 29:42
  not
• 29:42
  to
• 29:42
  like
• 29:43
  my
• 29:43
  body
• 29:43
  right
• 29:43
  now.
• 29:44
  Like,
• 29:44
  let
• 29:44
  me
• 29:45
  feel
• 29:45
  this.
• 29:46
  Thank
• 29:46
  you
• 29:46
  for
• 29:47
  complimenting
• 29:47
  me,
• 29:47
  but
• 29:48
  please
• 29:48
  hear
• 29:48
  me
• 29:48
  that
• 29:49
  like
• 29:50
  I
• 29:50
  don't
• 29:50
  feel
• 29:50
  this
• 29:51
  way
• 29:51
  right
• 29:51
  now
• 29:51
  and
• 29:52
  I
• 29:52
  just
• 29:52
  need
• 29:52
  you
• 29:53
  to
• 29:53
  kind
• 29:53
  of
• 29:53
  like
• 29:53
  sit
• 29:54
  in
• 29:54
  it
• 29:54
  with
• 29:54
  me,
• 29:55
  if
• 29:55
  that
• 29:55
  makes
• 29:56
  sense.
• 29:56
  Yeah,
• 29:56
  absolutely.
• 29:58
  Anyway,
• 29:58
  so
• 29:58
  that
• 29:58
  relationship
• 29:59
  ended
• 29:59
  in
• 29:59
  the
• 30:00
  summer
• 30:00
  of
• 30:00
  2019.
• 30:00
  Then
• 30:01
  I
• 30:01
  found
• 30:01
  myself
• 30:02
  single
• 30:03
  and
• 30:03
  I
• 30:03
  kind
• 30:03
  of
• 30:03
  went
• 30:04
  through
• 30:04
  this
• 30:04
  whole
• 30:04
  like
• 30:05
  process,
• 30:05
  you
• 30:05
  know,
• 30:05
  I
• 30:05
  was
• 30:05
  like,
• 30:06
  oh,
• 30:06
  it's
• 30:06
  gotta
• 30:07
  get
• 30:07
  online
• 30:07
  dating
• 30:08
  and
• 30:08
  whatnot.
• 30:08
  And
• 30:09
  you
• 30:09
  know,
• 30:10
  I
• 30:10
  had
• 30:10
  my,
• 30:11
  my
• 30:11
  first
• 30:12
  round
• 30:12
  of
• 30:12
  dating
• 30:13
  was
• 30:13
  like,
• 30:13
  I'm
• 30:14
  just
• 30:14
  gonna
• 30:14
  be
• 30:16
  up
• 30:17
  front
• 30:17
  and
• 30:17
  tell
• 30:18
  these
• 30:18
  gentlemen
• 30:19
  Right
• 30:19
  away,
• 30:20
  just
• 30:21
  to
• 30:21
  get
• 30:21
  it
• 30:21
  over
• 30:21
  with.
• 30:21
  Roxy,
• 30:22
  I
• 30:22
  just
• 30:22
  wanted
• 30:22
  to
• 30:22
  get
• 30:22
  over
• 30:23
  with.
• 30:24
  And
• 30:25
  a
• 30:25
  handful
• 30:25
  of
• 30:25
  them
• 30:26
  were
• 30:26
  cool,
• 30:27
  you
• 30:28
  know,
• 30:28
  Some
• 30:28
  are
• 30:28
  like,
• 30:28
  oh,
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  just
• 30:29
  thought
• 30:29
  you
• 30:29
  had,
• 30:29
  like,
• 30:30
  implants
• 30:30
  and
• 30:31
  no
• 30:31
  big
• 30:31
  deal.
• 30:31
  Like,
• 30:31
  cool,
• 30:32
  you
• 30:32
  know,
• 30:32
  whatever.
• 30:33
  One
• 30:33
  guy's
• 30:33
  like,
• 30:33
  I
• 30:34
  read
• 30:34
  about
• 30:34
  you.
• 30:34
  I
• 30:35
  saw
• 30:35
  a
• 30:35
  story
• 30:35
  about
• 30:35
  you.
• 30:36
  I
• 30:36
  knew
• 30:36
  that
• 30:36
  you
• 30:36
  had
• 30:36
  breast
• 30:36
  cancer.
• 30:37
  My
• 30:37
  cool.
• 30:38
  And
• 30:38
  then
• 30:38
  there
• 30:38
  was
• 30:39
  a
• 30:39
  handful
• 30:39
  of
• 30:40
  men
• 30:40
  were
• 30:40
  like,
• 30:40
  I'm
• 30:41
  sorry,
• 30:41
  what?
• 30:42
  Like,
• 30:43
  are
• 30:43
  you
• 30:43
  sick?
• 30:45
  Are
• 30:45
  you
• 30:45
  going
• 30:46
  to
• 30:46
  get
• 30:46
  sick
• 30:46
  again?
• 30:47
  Are
• 30:47
  you
• 30:47
  going
• 30:47
  to
• 30:47
  die?
• 30:48
  Like,
• 30:48
  what
• 30:48
  does
• 30:48
  that
• 30:49
  mean?
• 30:50
  You
• 30:50
  know,
• 30:50
  there
• 30:50
  were
• 30:51
  some
• 30:51
  guys
• 30:51
  that
• 30:51
  didn't
• 30:52
  really
• 30:52
  have
• 30:52
  to
• 30:52
  say
• 30:52
  anything,
• 30:53
  but,
• 30:53
  like,
• 30:53
  we
• 30:54
  have
• 30:54
  these
• 30:54
  couple
• 30:55
  great
• 30:55
  dates,
• 30:55
  and
• 30:56
  then
• 30:56
  we
• 30:56
  plan
• 30:56
  the
• 30:56
  next
• 30:57
  one,
• 30:57
  and
• 30:57
  then,
• 30:58
  you
• 30:58
  know,
• 30:59
  I
• 30:59
  don't
• 30:59
  hear
• 31:00
  from
• 31:00
  them
• 31:00
  again,
• 31:01
  you
• 31:01
  know?
• 31:01
  Look,
• 31:02
  I
• 31:02
  know
• 31:02
  that's
• 31:02
  common
• 31:02
  in
• 31:03
  dating.
• 31:03
  Like,
• 31:03
  you.
• 31:03
  You
• 31:03
  have
• 31:04
  a
• 31:04
  great
• 31:04
  date.
• 31:04
  You
• 31:04
  know,
• 31:04
  I'm
• 31:05
  not
• 31:05
  saying
• 31:06
  that,
• 31:07
  you
• 31:07
  know,
• 31:07
  that's
• 31:08
  the
• 31:08
  only
• 31:08
  reason,
• 31:08
  but
• 31:09
  I
• 31:09
  could
• 31:09
  just
• 31:09
  tell
• 31:10
  that
• 31:11
  some
• 31:11
  of
• 31:11
  these
• 31:11
  guys
• 31:12
  were
• 31:12
  just
• 31:13
  no
• 31:13
  longer
• 31:13
  interested.
• 31:14
  And
• 31:14
  I
• 31:14
  had
• 31:14
  one
• 31:14
  guy
• 31:15
  say
• 31:15
  to
• 31:15
  me,
• 31:16
  you're
• 31:17
  beautiful,
• 31:17
  you're
• 31:18
  successful.
• 31:18
  You're
• 31:19
  everything
• 31:20
  that
• 31:20
  I'd
• 31:20
  want.
• 31:20
  He's
• 31:21
  like,
• 31:21
  but
• 31:21
  this
• 31:21
  whole,
• 31:22
  like,
• 31:22
  you
• 31:23
  having
• 31:23
  breast
• 31:24
  cancer
• 31:24
  and
• 31:24
  you
• 31:25
  not
• 31:25
  knowing,
• 31:25
  and
• 31:26
  you're
• 31:26
  only,
• 31:26
  what,
• 31:27
  like,
• 31:27
  two
• 31:27
  years
• 31:27
  out?
• 31:28
  He's
• 31:28
  like,
• 31:29
  I
• 31:29
  can't.
• 31:30
  Good
• 31:30
  luck.
• 31:31
  And
• 31:31
  I
• 31:31
  was
• 31:31
  like,
• 31:32
  cool.
• 31:33
  Awesome.
• 31:35
  So
• 31:35
  that
• 31:36
  hurt
• 31:37
  for
• 31:37
  sure.
• 31:38
  That
• 31:38
  hurt.
• 31:39
  Then
• 31:39
  the.
• 31:39
  The
• 31:40
  next
• 31:40
  round,
• 31:40
  I
• 31:40
  was
• 31:40
  like,
• 31:41
  okay,
• 31:41
  I'm
• 31:42
  going
• 31:42
  to
• 31:42
  tell
• 31:42
  these
• 31:43
  men
• 31:43
  on.
• 31:44
  On
• 31:44
  my.
• 31:44
  On
• 31:45
  my
• 31:45
  watch,
• 31:45
  on
• 31:45
  my
• 31:46
  time,
• 31:46
  when
• 31:46
  I
• 31:47
  feel
• 31:47
  ready
• 31:47
  and
• 31:48
  comfortable.
• 31:49
  And
• 31:49
  that's
• 31:49
  what
• 31:49
  I
• 31:49
  did,
• 31:50
  you
• 31:50
  know?
• 31:50
  And
• 31:51
  most
• 31:51
  these
• 31:52
  little
• 31:52
  flings,
• 31:53
  Roxy,
• 31:54
  were
• 31:54
  just.
• 31:54
  That's
• 31:55
  what
• 31:55
  they
• 31:55
  were
• 31:55
  flings.
• 31:56
  Very
• 31:56
  casual.
• 31:57
  And
• 31:58
  I
• 31:58
  don't
• 31:58
  know
• 31:58
  if
• 31:58
  I
• 31:58
  mentioned
• 31:59
  this
• 31:59
  in
• 31:59
  our.
• 32:00
  When
• 32:00
  we
• 32:00
  chatted
• 32:00
  last
• 32:01
  week,
• 32:01
  but
• 32:01
  I'm
• 32:01
  gonna
• 32:01
  say
• 32:01
  it
• 32:02
  like,
• 32:02
  they're
• 32:03
  part
• 32:03
  of
• 32:03
  my
• 32:04
  healing.
• 32:04
  For
• 32:04
  about
• 32:06
  six,
• 32:06
  seven
• 32:07
  months,
• 32:07
  I
• 32:08
  dated
• 32:08
  very,
• 32:08
  very
• 32:09
  young
• 32:09
  men.
• 32:10
  Very
• 32:10
  young.
• 32:11
  What
• 32:11
  was
• 32:11
  the
• 32:11
  reason
• 32:12
  behind
• 32:12
  that?
• 32:13
  You
• 32:13
  know
• 32:13
  what?
• 32:13
  They
• 32:13
  were
• 32:14
  swiping
• 32:14
  on
• 32:14
  me.
• 32:14
  And
• 32:15
  I
• 32:15
  was.
• 32:15
  Me.
• 32:15
  The
• 32:15
  youngest
• 32:16
  I
• 32:16
  went
• 32:16
  was
• 32:16
  28.
• 32:17
  Okay,
• 32:17
  lady.
• 32:18
  Yes.
• 32:20
  I
• 32:20
  was
• 32:20
  45,
• 32:22
  I
• 32:22
  think,
• 32:23
  or
• 32:23
  before.
• 32:25
  And
• 32:25
  it.
• 32:26
  You
• 32:26
  know
• 32:26
  what?
• 32:27
  It
• 32:27
  made
• 32:27
  me
• 32:27
  feel
• 32:28
  good.
• 32:28
  And
• 32:29
  they
• 32:29
  didn't
• 32:29
  care.
• 32:29
  They
• 32:29
  didn't.
• 32:30
  Roxy.
• 32:30
  They
• 32:30
  didn't
• 32:31
  give
• 32:31
  a
• 32:31
  shit.
• 32:32
  They
• 32:32
  were
• 32:32
  just.
• 32:32
  They
• 32:33
  were
• 32:33
  just.
• 32:33
  I
• 32:33
  think
• 32:34
  in
• 32:34
  all
• 32:34
  of
• 32:34
  an
• 32:34
  older
• 32:35
  woman,
• 32:35
  I
• 32:35
  had
• 32:35
  some
• 32:35
  fun,
• 32:36
  energy,
• 32:36
  whatever.
• 32:37
  And
• 32:37
  really
• 32:37
  all
• 32:38
  it
• 32:38
  was
• 32:38
  was
• 32:38
  physical
• 32:39
  and
• 32:40
  sexual.
• 32:41
  Right?
• 32:41
  Like,
• 32:41
  wasn't
• 32:42
  like
• 32:42
  I
• 32:42
  was
• 32:42
  gonna,
• 32:42
  like,
• 32:43
  get
• 32:43
  serious
• 32:44
  with
• 32:44
  a
• 32:44
  29
• 32:44
  or
• 32:45
  a
• 32:45
  30
• 32:45
  year
• 32:45
  old.
• 32:45
  Like,
• 32:45
  it
• 32:46
  was
• 32:46
  just.
• 32:46
  It
• 32:46
  was
• 32:47
  a
• 32:47
  phase
• 32:47
  in
• 32:48
  my
• 32:48
  time.
• 32:48
  And
• 32:48
  at
• 32:48
  first,
• 32:49
  I
• 32:49
  was
• 32:49
  kind
• 32:49
  of
• 32:49
  like,
• 32:49
  what
• 32:49
  am
• 32:50
  I
• 32:50
  doing?
• 32:50
  And
• 32:51
  it's
• 32:52
  so
• 32:52
  funny
• 32:52
  because.
• 32:52
  Do
• 32:52
  you
• 32:52
  remember
• 32:53
  the
• 32:53
  show
• 32:53
  younger?
• 32:54
  Yes.
• 32:55
  Handful
• 32:55
  of
• 32:55
  years
• 32:55
  ago,
• 32:55
  whenever
• 32:56
  that
• 32:56
  was
• 32:56
  my
• 32:56
  bestie
• 32:57
  and
• 32:57
  I
• 32:57
  would
• 32:57
  binge
• 32:58
  watch
• 32:58
  it
• 32:58
  and
• 32:58
  I
• 32:58
  remember
• 32:59
  saying
• 32:59
  to
• 32:59
  her
• 33:00
  like,
• 33:00
  who
• 33:01
  in
• 33:01
  their
• 33:01
  40s
• 33:02
  would
• 33:02
  go
• 33:02
  out
• 33:02
  with
• 33:02
  a
• 33:03
  28
• 33:03
  year
• 33:03
  old?
• 33:03
  That
• 33:04
  is
• 33:04
  like
• 33:04
  absurd.
• 33:05
  This
• 33:05
  is
• 33:06
  crazy.
• 33:06
  Like
• 33:07
  what
• 33:07
  the
• 33:07
  hell?
• 33:08
  Fast
• 33:09
  forward
• 33:09
  to
• 33:09
  me.
• 33:09
  I
• 33:09
  did
• 33:10
  it
• 33:10
  and
• 33:10
  I
• 33:10
  did
• 33:10
  it
• 33:10
  for
• 33:10
  like
• 33:11
  six,
• 33:11
  seven
• 33:11
  months
• 33:11
  and
• 33:12
  I
• 33:12
  had
• 33:12
  the
• 33:12
  time
• 33:13
  of
• 33:13
  my
• 33:14
  life.
• 33:14
  Was
• 33:15
  the
• 33:15
  sex
• 33:15
  better?
• 33:17
  No,
• 33:18
  really,
• 33:20
  sex
• 33:20
  was
• 33:20
  not
• 33:21
  better.
• 33:22
  I
• 33:23
  will
• 33:23
  say
• 33:23
  this,
• 33:24
  their
• 33:24
  stamina
• 33:25
  was
• 33:25
  through
• 33:25
  the
• 33:26
  roof.
• 33:27
  It
• 33:27
  was
• 33:27
  one
• 33:27
  of
• 33:27
  those
• 33:28
  things
• 33:28
  where
• 33:29
  we
• 33:29
  could,
• 33:29
  they
• 33:30
  wanted
• 33:30
  to
• 33:30
  do
• 33:30
  it
• 33:30
  three,
• 33:31
  four,
• 33:31
  five
• 33:32
  times
• 33:32
  a
• 33:32
  night,
• 33:33
  which
• 33:34
  I
• 33:34
  was
• 33:35
  not
• 33:35
  really
• 33:35
  used
• 33:36
  to.
• 33:36
  So
• 33:37
  that
• 33:37
  was
• 33:38
  fun.
• 33:39
  But
• 33:39
  it
• 33:39
  wasn't
• 33:40
  anything
• 33:40
  like
• 33:41
  they
• 33:41
  knew
• 33:41
  what
• 33:41
  they
• 33:41
  were
• 33:42
  doing.
• 33:42
  If
• 33:42
  anything,
• 33:43
  they
• 33:44
  leaned
• 33:44
  to
• 33:44
  lean
• 33:45
  on
• 33:45
  to
• 33:45
  me.
• 33:45
  Like,
• 33:45
  what
• 33:45
  do
• 33:46
  you,
• 33:46
  like
• 33:46
  what
• 33:46
  do
• 33:46
  you
• 33:46
  want?
• 33:47
  But
• 33:48
  those
• 33:48
  guys
• 33:48
  I'm
• 33:48
  still
• 33:49
  friends
• 33:49
  with,
• 33:49
  so
• 33:49
  friendly
• 33:50
  with,
• 33:50
  one
• 33:51
  of
• 33:51
  them
• 33:51
  helped
• 33:51
  me
• 33:51
  buy
• 33:51
  a
• 33:51
  car
• 33:52
  seven
• 33:52
  years
• 33:52
  ago.
• 33:53
  He's
• 33:53
  now,
• 33:54
  I
• 33:54
  think
• 33:54
  he
• 33:54
  just
• 33:54
  turned
• 33:54
  40.
• 33:55
  But
• 33:55
  when
• 33:55
  we
• 33:55
  were
• 33:55
  dating
• 33:55
  he
• 33:56
  was
• 33:56
  34.
• 33:56
  And
• 33:56
  there
• 33:57
  was
• 33:57
  another
• 33:57
  guy
• 33:57
  that
• 33:58
  we
• 33:58
  had
• 33:59
  an
• 33:59
  on
• 33:59
  and
• 33:59
  off
• 33:59
  for
• 33:59
  like
• 34:00
  for
• 34:01
  nine
• 34:01
  months
• 34:01
  or
• 34:02
  whatever.
• 34:02
  And
• 34:02
  he
• 34:02
  was
• 34:02
  hot
• 34:03
  Brazilian
• 34:03
  guy.
• 34:04
  And
• 34:04
  now
• 34:04
  we're
• 34:05
  friends
• 34:05
  and
• 34:05
  his,
• 34:05
  he,
• 34:05
  he,
• 34:06
  he
• 34:06
  goes
• 34:06
  to
• 34:07
  my,
• 34:07
  my
• 34:07
  daughter's
• 34:08
  school.
• 34:08
  I
• 34:08
  helped
• 34:09
  him
• 34:09
  get
• 34:09
  in
• 34:09
  there.
• 34:10
  Going
• 34:11
  back
• 34:11
  to
• 34:11
  like
• 34:12
  evolving
• 34:13
  and
• 34:13
  being
• 34:13
  friends
• 34:14
  with
• 34:14
  some
• 34:14
  of
• 34:14
  these
• 34:15
  partners,
• 34:15
  it's,
• 34:15
  it's
• 34:16
  okay
• 34:16
  and
• 34:16
  it's
• 34:16
  mature,
• 34:17
  right?
• 34:17
  But,
• 34:18
  but
• 34:18
  yeah,
• 34:19
  that
• 34:19
  really
• 34:19
  helped
• 34:19
  me
• 34:19
  heal
• 34:20
  six,
• 34:20
  seven
• 34:20
  months
• 34:21
  of
• 34:21
  just
• 34:21
  having
• 34:22
  fun.
• 34:22
  And
• 34:23
  by
• 34:23
  the
• 34:23
  way,
• 34:24
  I
• 34:24
  didn't
• 34:25
  have
• 34:25
  sex
• 34:25
  with
• 34:25
  every
• 34:25
  single
• 34:26
  one
• 34:26
  of
• 34:26
  these
• 34:26
  younger
• 34:27
  men.
• 34:27
  Like
• 34:27
  there
• 34:28
  was
• 34:28
  a,
• 34:28
  you
• 34:28
  know,
• 34:29
  little
• 34:29
  makeout
• 34:29
  sessions
• 34:30
  here
• 34:30
  and
• 34:30
  there,
• 34:30
  but
• 34:30
  it
• 34:30
  made
• 34:31
  me
• 34:31
  feel
• 34:31
  good.
• 34:31
  I
• 34:31
  needed
• 34:32
  that,
• 34:33
  that
• 34:33
  boost
• 34:34
  of
• 34:34
  confidence
• 34:35
  that
• 34:37
  this
• 34:37
  cancer,
• 34:38
  these
• 34:38
  scars
• 34:38
  and
• 34:39
  every,
• 34:39
  all
• 34:39
  these
• 34:39
  body
• 34:40
  changes
• 34:40
  do
• 34:40
  not
• 34:41
  define
• 34:41
  who
• 34:41
  I
• 34:41
  am.
• 34:42
  Like,
• 34:42
  I'm
• 34:42
  still
• 34:42
  attractive,
• 34:43
  I'm
• 34:43
  still
• 34:43
  fun.
• 34:43
  I
• 34:44
  have
• 34:44
  a
• 34:44
  lot
• 34:44
  to
• 34:44
  offer.
• 34:45
  Like
• 34:45
  I
• 34:45
  still
• 34:45
  have
• 34:45
  a
• 34:45
  fun
• 34:46
  personality.
• 34:46
  And
• 34:47
  it
• 34:47
  was,
• 34:47
  it
• 34:47
  was
• 34:48
  part
• 34:48
  of
• 34:48
  my
• 34:48
  healing
• 34:48
  journey.
• 34:49
  It
• 34:49
  seems
• 34:49
  like
• 34:50
  it
• 34:50
  would
• 34:50
  prepare
• 34:51
  you
• 34:51
  for
• 34:52
  the
• 34:52
  next
• 34:53
  relationship
• 34:53
  as
• 34:54
  well.
• 34:54
  It's
• 34:54
  almost
• 34:55
  like
• 34:55
  you
• 34:55
  needed
• 34:55
  to
• 34:55
  have
• 34:56
  that
• 34:56
  time
• 34:57
  of
• 34:57
  just
• 34:57
  being
• 34:58
  a
• 34:58
  little
• 34:58
  free
• 34:58
  and
• 34:59
  like
• 34:59
  doing
• 35:00
  what
• 35:00
  you
• 35:00
  wanted
• 35:00
  to
• 35:01
  do,
• 35:01
  you
• 35:01
  know?
• 35:02
  I
• 35:02
  think
• 35:02
  so
• 35:02
  because
• 35:03
  I
• 35:03
  went
• 35:03
  from
• 35:04
  being,
• 35:04
  being
• 35:05
  misty
• 35:05
  for
• 35:06
  12
• 35:06
  plus
• 35:06
  years
• 35:08
  into
• 35:09
  a
• 35:09
  new
• 35:09
  relationship
• 35:10
  rather
• 35:10
  quickly.
• 35:11
  Four
• 35:11
  years
• 35:11
  long
• 35:12
  distance.
• 35:12
  So
• 35:12
  I
• 35:12
  didn't
• 35:12
  have
• 35:13
  a
• 35:13
  big
• 35:14
  gap
• 35:14
  being
• 35:15
  super
• 35:15
  single.
• 35:16
  So
• 35:16
  I
• 35:16
  was
• 35:16
  about,
• 35:17
  I
• 35:17
  was
• 35:17
  single
• 35:17
  for
• 35:17
  about
• 35:17
  a
• 35:18
  year.
• 35:19
  But
• 35:19
  during
• 35:19
  that
• 35:19
  year
• 35:20
  I
• 35:20
  was
• 35:20
  dating
• 35:21
  and
• 35:21
  I,
• 35:21
  you
• 35:22
  know,
• 35:22
  eventually
• 35:22
  I
• 35:22
  just
• 35:22
  kind
• 35:23
  of
• 35:23
  leaned
• 35:23
  in
• 35:23
  and
• 35:23
  I
• 35:24
  was
• 35:24
  like,
• 35:24
  fuck
• 35:24
  it
• 35:24
  if
• 35:25
  they
• 35:25
  don't.
• 35:25
  They're
• 35:25
  not
• 35:25
  interested
• 35:26
  in
• 35:26
  me.
• 35:27
  They're
• 35:27
  not
• 35:27
  worth
• 35:27
  it.
• 35:27
  And
• 35:27
  I
• 35:28
  just
• 35:28
  owned
• 35:28
  it
• 35:28
  and
• 35:29
  started
• 35:29
  having
• 35:29
  fun.
• 35:30
  And
• 35:30
  then
• 35:31
  pandemic,
• 35:32
  Pandemic
• 35:32
  happened.
• 35:33
  And
• 35:34
  then
• 35:34
  did
• 35:34
  the
• 35:34
  whole
• 35:34
  online,
• 35:35
  like,
• 35:35
  mask
• 35:36
  wearing,
• 35:36
  beach
• 35:37
  dates.
• 35:37
  And
• 35:37
  then
• 35:38
  I
• 35:38
  met
• 35:38
  Charlie,
• 35:39
  my
• 35:39
  current
• 35:39
  partner.
• 35:40
  So
• 35:40
  you
• 35:40
  met
• 35:40
  him
• 35:41
  during
• 35:41
  the
• 35:41
  pandemic?
• 35:42
  You
• 35:42
  met
• 35:42
  Charlie
• 35:42
  during
• 35:42
  the
• 35:43
  pandemic?
• 35:44
  How.
• 35:44
  Okay,
• 35:44
  so
• 35:45
  how
• 35:45
  did
• 35:45
  you
• 35:45
  do
• 35:45
  that?
• 35:45
  Because
• 35:45
  everyone
• 35:46
  was
• 35:46
  like,
• 35:46
  locked
• 35:47
  down
• 35:47
  or
• 35:47
  isolating.
• 35:48
  Like,
• 35:48
  how
• 35:48
  did.
• 35:49
  How
• 35:49
  did
• 35:49
  that
• 35:49
  happen?
• 35:49
  You
• 35:50
  know,
• 35:50
  it
• 35:50
  was
• 35:50
  funny
• 35:50
  because
• 35:51
  pandemic
• 35:52
  was
• 35:52
  March
• 35:52
  of
• 35:52
  2020.
• 35:53
  I
• 35:53
  met
• 35:54
  Charlie
• 35:54
  in
• 35:54
  August
• 35:55
  of
• 35:55
  2020.
• 35:55
  That
• 35:56
  was
• 35:56
  right
• 35:56
  when
• 35:56
  it
• 35:56
  was
• 35:56
  starting
• 35:57
  to
• 35:57
  lift
• 35:57
  a
• 35:57
  little
• 35:57
  bit.
• 35:58
  But
• 35:58
  those
• 35:58
  six
• 35:59
  months
• 35:59
  when
• 36:00
  we
• 36:00
  were
• 36:00
  locked.
• 36:00
  Was
• 36:00
  it
• 36:01
  mar.
• 36:01
  What?
• 36:01
  I
• 36:01
  don't
• 36:01
  know.
• 36:02
  Six
• 36:03
  months,
• 36:03
  whatever.
• 36:03
  We
• 36:04
  were
• 36:04
  locked
• 36:04
  down.
• 36:04
  And
• 36:05
  I
• 36:05
  did
• 36:05
  a
• 36:05
  lot
• 36:05
  of
• 36:05
  FaceTime
• 36:06
  dates.
• 36:08
  Stay
• 36:08
  safe.
• 36:09
  And
• 36:09
  then
• 36:09
  if
• 36:09
  I
• 36:09
  felt
• 36:10
  like
• 36:10
  it
• 36:10
  was
• 36:10
  worth
• 36:11
  me
• 36:11
  stepping
• 36:12
  out.
• 36:12
  This
• 36:12
  is
• 36:13
  vaccines.
• 36:13
  All
• 36:14
  of
• 36:14
  the
• 36:15
  early
• 36:15
  pandemic.
• 36:16
  Yeah.
• 36:17
  And
• 36:17
  that
• 36:17
  was
• 36:18
  fun.
• 36:18
  And
• 36:18
  then
• 36:19
  I
• 36:19
  was
• 36:20
  over
• 36:20
  it.
• 36:20
  I
• 36:20
  was
• 36:20
  like,
• 36:20
  this
• 36:21
  is.
• 36:21
  This
• 36:21
  is.
• 36:21
  I'm
• 36:21
  done.
• 36:21
  I
• 36:22
  can't
• 36:22
  do
• 36:22
  this
• 36:22
  anymore.
• 36:22
  And
• 36:23
  then
• 36:25
  I.
• 36:25
  Charlie.
• 36:26
  And
• 36:26
  I
• 36:26
  can't
• 36:26
  remember
• 36:26
  if
• 36:26
  he
• 36:26
  swiped
• 36:27
  on
• 36:27
  me
• 36:27
  or
• 36:27
  I
• 36:28
  swiped
• 36:28
  on
• 36:28
  him.
• 36:28
  And
• 36:28
  it
• 36:29
  was
• 36:29
  funny
• 36:29
  because
• 36:29
  I
• 36:29
  was
• 36:29
  like,
• 36:30
  wow,
• 36:30
  he's
• 36:30
  really
• 36:31
  cute.
• 36:32
  And
• 36:32
  he
• 36:32
  said
• 36:33
  to
• 36:33
  me,
• 36:33
  he
• 36:33
  was
• 36:33
  like,
• 36:33
  do
• 36:33
  you
• 36:33
  want
• 36:33
  to
• 36:34
  meet
• 36:34
  for
• 36:34
  a
• 36:34
  coffee?
• 36:35
  And
• 36:35
  at
• 36:35
  that
• 36:35
  point,
• 36:35
  I
• 36:36
  was
• 36:36
  like,
• 36:36
  usually
• 36:37
  I
• 36:37
  would
• 36:37
  have
• 36:38
  these
• 36:38
  FaceTime
• 36:38
  calls
• 36:39
  for
• 36:40
  hours
• 36:41
  to
• 36:41
  see
• 36:41
  if
• 36:41
  there
• 36:41
  was
• 36:42
  a
• 36:42
  connection
• 36:42
  before
• 36:42
  I
• 36:42
  would
• 36:43
  go
• 36:43
  risk
• 36:43
  my
• 36:43
  life.
• 36:44
  Because
• 36:44
  at
• 36:44
  the
• 36:44
  time,
• 36:44
  we
• 36:44
  didn't
• 36:44
  know.
• 36:45
  At
• 36:45
  the
• 36:45
  time,
• 36:45
  we
• 36:45
  didn't
• 36:46
  know
• 36:46
  what
• 36:46
  was
• 36:46
  going
• 36:46
  on
• 36:46
  at
• 36:46
  the
• 36:47
  time
• 36:48
  or
• 36:48
  the
• 36:49
  whole
• 36:49
  pandemic.
• 36:50
  And
• 36:50
  I
• 36:51
  finally
• 36:51
  was
• 36:51
  like,
• 36:51
  you
• 36:51
  know
• 36:51
  what?
• 36:52
  I'm
• 36:52
  just
• 36:52
  going
• 36:52
  to
• 36:53
  say,
• 36:53
  yes,
• 36:53
  this
• 36:53
  guy
• 36:53
  and
• 36:54
  meet
• 36:54
  him
• 36:54
  right
• 36:54
  away.
• 36:54
  We
• 36:54
  didn't
• 36:54
  even
• 36:55
  talk.
• 36:55
  I'm
• 36:55
  like,
• 36:55
  sure,
• 36:56
  let's
• 36:56
  go.
• 36:56
  Let's
• 36:57
  go
• 36:57
  have
• 36:57
  a
• 36:57
  drink
• 36:57
  or
• 36:58
  a
• 36:58
  coffee.
• 36:58
  And
• 36:59
  that
• 36:59
  was
• 37:00
  in
• 37:00
  August
• 37:00
  of
• 37:00
  2020.
• 37:02
  So
• 37:02
  4.
• 37:02
  It
• 37:03
  took
• 37:03
  me
• 37:03
  four
• 37:03
  months
• 37:04
  to
• 37:04
  tell
• 37:05
  him
• 37:05
  about
• 37:06
  my
• 37:06
  breast
• 37:06
  cancer.
• 37:08
  And
• 37:09
  although
• 37:09
  we
• 37:10
  were
• 37:10
  intimate
• 37:10
  during
• 37:11
  that
• 37:11
  time,
• 37:11
  we
• 37:11
  were
• 37:12
  very,
• 37:12
  very
• 37:12
  casual.
• 37:13
  But
• 37:13
  we
• 37:13
  started.
• 37:14
  We
• 37:14
  started
• 37:14
  spending
• 37:15
  more
• 37:15
  time
• 37:15
  together
• 37:16
  and
• 37:16
  of
• 37:17
  potential
• 37:17
  being
• 37:17
  more
• 37:18
  serious.
• 37:19
  And
• 37:19
  I
• 37:20
  told
• 37:20
  him.
• 37:20
  I
• 37:20
  was
• 37:20
  sitting
• 37:21
  in
• 37:21
  our
• 37:21
  bedroom
• 37:21
  and
• 37:21
  I
• 37:22
  said,
• 37:22
  look,
• 37:22
  there's
• 37:22
  something
• 37:22
  I
• 37:22
  have
• 37:23
  to
• 37:23
  tell
• 37:23
  you.
• 37:24
  And
• 37:24
  I
• 37:24
  told
• 37:24
  him,
• 37:25
  and
• 37:26
  he
• 37:26
  was
• 37:26
  amazing.
• 37:27
  He's
• 37:27
  like,
• 37:27
  thank
• 37:28
  you
• 37:28
  so
• 37:28
  much.
• 37:28
  He's
• 37:29
  like,
• 37:29
  I
• 37:29
  like
• 37:29
  you
• 37:29
  even
• 37:29
  more.
• 37:30
  You
• 37:31
  know,
• 37:31
  he
• 37:31
  just
• 37:31
  thought
• 37:31
  again,
• 37:32
  like,
• 37:32
  I've
• 37:32
  heard
• 37:33
  before
• 37:33
  from
• 37:33
  other
• 37:34
  men.
• 37:34
  Like,
• 37:34
  I
• 37:34
  just
• 37:35
  thought
• 37:35
  the
• 37:35
  scars
• 37:35
  were
• 37:35
  from
• 37:35
  a
• 37:35
  reduction
• 37:36
  or
• 37:36
  breast
• 37:37
  implants
• 37:37
  or
• 37:38
  whatever.
• 37:38
  Like,
• 37:38
  he
• 37:39
  didn't
• 37:39
  even,
• 37:40
  didn't
• 37:41
  even
• 37:41
  like
• 37:41
  register.
• 37:41
  And
• 37:42
  then
• 37:42
  I
• 37:42
  told
• 37:42
  him
• 37:42
  and
• 37:43
  he.
• 37:43
  And
• 37:43
  then
• 37:44
  fast
• 37:44
  forward
• 37:44
  to
• 37:44
  the
• 37:44
  Fondo
• 37:45
  project.
• 37:45
  He
• 37:45
  was
• 37:45
  the
• 37:45
  one
• 37:45
  that
• 37:46
  came
• 37:46
  up
• 37:46
  with
• 37:46
  the
• 37:46
  name.
• 37:46
  He
• 37:47
  was
• 37:47
  my
• 37:47
  cinematographer.
• 37:48
  He
• 37:49
  was
• 37:49
  a
• 37:49
  big,
• 37:50
  he
• 37:50
  was
• 37:50
  a
• 37:50
  very
• 37:51
  big
• 37:51
  part
• 37:51
  of
• 37:51
  the
• 37:51
  Fondl
• 37:52
  project
• 37:52
  campaign
• 37:53
  and
• 37:53
  supportive
• 37:54
  and
• 37:54
  supporter.
• 37:55
  And
• 37:56
  still
• 37:56
  to
• 37:56
  this
• 37:57
  day,
• 37:57
  we're
• 37:57
  here.
• 37:57
  We
• 37:57
  are
• 37:57
  like
• 37:58
  almost
• 37:59
  what,
• 37:59
  five
• 37:59
  and
• 37:59
  a
• 37:59
  half
• 38:00
  years
• 38:00
  in.
• 38:00
  Yeah.
• 38:01
  That's
• 38:01
  incredible.
• 38:01
  Yeah,
• 38:02
  I
• 38:02
  love
• 38:02
  that
• 38:02
  you've,
• 38:03
  you
• 38:03
  know,
• 38:03
  moved
• 38:03
  the
• 38:04
  needle
• 38:04
  forward
• 38:04
  and
• 38:04
  you're
• 38:05
  really
• 38:05
  out
• 38:05
  there
• 38:06
  trying
• 38:06
  to
• 38:07
  help
• 38:07
  other
• 38:07
  women
• 38:08
  going
• 38:09
  through
• 38:09
  this.
• 38:09
  So
• 38:10
  let
• 38:10
  tell
• 38:10
  everybody
• 38:11
  about
• 38:11
  the
• 38:11
  Fondl
• 38:12
  project
• 38:12
  because
• 38:12
  it's
• 38:12
  incredible.
• 38:13
  By
• 38:13
  the
• 38:13
  way,
• 38:13
  you
• 38:14
  were
• 38:14
  on
• 38:14
  like
• 38:14
  the
• 38:14
  Drew
• 38:14
  Barrymore
• 38:15
  show
• 38:16
  with
• 38:16
  the
• 38:16
  Funnel
• 38:17
  project.
• 38:17
  But
• 38:18
  clap.
• 38:19
  Kudos
• 38:19
  to
• 38:19
  you,
• 38:19
  my
• 38:20
  friend.
• 38:20
  Thank
• 38:21
  you.
• 38:22
  That
• 38:22
  was
• 38:22
  actually
• 38:22
  the
• 38:22
  catalyst,
• 38:23
  actually,
• 38:23
  because
• 38:24
  we
• 38:24
  launched
• 38:25
  the
• 38:25
  campaign
• 38:25
  in
• 38:26
  June
• 38:26
  of
• 38:27
  2023.
• 38:28
  It
• 38:28
  was
• 38:28
  a
• 38:28
  very
• 38:28
  small
• 38:29
  idea.
• 38:30
  Again,
• 38:31
  going
• 38:31
  back
• 38:31
  to
• 38:32
  my
• 38:32
  healing
• 38:32
  journey
• 38:32
  of
• 38:33
  getting
• 38:33
  dressed
• 38:33
  and
• 38:34
  I
• 38:34
  met
• 38:34
  all
• 38:34
  these
• 38:34
  amazing
• 38:35
  women
• 38:35
  on
• 38:35
  a
• 38:35
  breast,
• 38:36
  you
• 38:36
  know,
• 38:36
  that
• 38:37
  were
• 38:37
  battling
• 38:37
  breast
• 38:37
  cancer.
• 38:38
  And
• 38:38
  the
• 38:38
  common
• 38:38
  theme
• 38:39
  between
• 38:39
  all
• 38:39
  of
• 38:39
  us
• 38:39
  was
• 38:41
  losing
• 38:41
  our
• 38:41
  self
• 38:42
  esteem,
• 38:42
  losing
• 38:43
  our
• 38:43
  confidence
• 38:43
  and
• 38:44
  not
• 38:44
  feeling
• 38:44
  good
• 38:44
  in
• 38:45
  our
• 38:45
  body
• 38:45
  and
• 38:45
  also
• 38:46
  just
• 38:47
  processing
• 38:48
  everything
• 38:48
  and
• 38:48
  not
• 38:48
  feeling
• 38:49
  good
• 38:49
  about
• 38:49
  ourselves.
• 38:49
  So
• 38:50
  I
• 38:50
  wanted
• 38:51
  to
• 38:51
  kind
• 38:51
  of
• 38:51
  create
• 38:51
  a
• 38:52
  more
• 38:53
  modern,
• 38:53
  elevated
• 38:54
  campaign
• 38:54
  to
• 38:55
  spotlight
• 38:55
  the
• 38:55
  importance
• 38:56
  of
• 38:56
  breast
• 38:56
  cancer
• 38:56
  and
• 38:57
  breast
• 38:57
  health,
• 38:58
  but
• 38:58
  also
• 38:58
  to
• 38:59
  really
• 38:59
  spotlight
• 39:00
  these
• 39:00
  incredible
• 39:00
  women
• 39:01
  that
• 39:01
  are
• 39:01
  on
• 39:01
  this
• 39:02
  journey.
• 39:02
  You
• 39:03
  know,
• 39:03
  give
• 39:03
  other
• 39:03
  women
• 39:03
  on
• 39:04
  this
• 39:04
  journey
• 39:04
  hope,
• 39:05
  make
• 39:05
  them
• 39:05
  feel
• 39:05
  empowered
• 39:06
  and
• 39:06
  sexy.
• 39:07
  So
• 39:07
  I,
• 39:08
  I
• 39:08
  collaborated
• 39:09
  with
• 39:09
  seven
• 39:09
  female
• 39:09
  fashion
• 39:10
  brands
• 39:11
  and
• 39:11
  again,
• 39:11
  it
• 39:12
  was
• 39:12
  just
• 39:12
  a
• 39:12
  small
• 39:12
  idea
• 39:14
  which
• 39:14
  ended
• 39:14
  up
• 39:14
  being
• 39:15
  a
• 39:15
  lot
• 39:15
  bigger
• 39:15
  than
• 39:15
  I
• 39:16
  didn't
• 39:16
  even,
• 39:17
  I
• 39:17
  couldn't
• 39:17
  even
• 39:17
  imagine.
• 39:19
  We
• 39:19
  had
• 39:19
  this
• 39:19
  epic
• 39:20
  campaign
• 39:20
  at
• 39:20
  Melk
• 39:20
  Studios,
• 39:21
  the
• 39:21
  fashion
• 39:22
  beauty
• 39:22
  photographer.
• 39:23
  Everybody
• 39:23
  donated
• 39:24
  their
• 39:24
  time.
• 39:24
  Everybody.
• 39:25
  Oh,
• 39:25
  it
• 39:26
  was
• 39:26
  all
• 39:26
  donation.
• 39:27
  Everybody
• 39:27
  did.
• 39:28
  Wow.
• 39:29
  The
• 39:29
  producer,
• 39:30
  Milk
• 39:30
  Studios,
• 39:32
  Kate
• 39:32
  Powers,
• 39:33
  the
• 39:34
  stylist
• 39:34
  at
• 39:34
  the
• 39:34
  time
• 39:35
  that
• 39:35
  everyone
• 39:36
  donated
• 39:36
  their
• 39:37
  time.
• 39:37
  Charlie,
• 39:38
  I
• 39:38
  mean,
• 39:38
  obviously
• 39:39
  Charlie
• 39:39
  was
• 39:39
  my
• 39:39
  dp,
• 39:40
  of
• 39:40
  course.
• 39:41
  I
• 39:41
  mean,
• 39:42
  and
• 39:42
  then
• 39:42
  all
• 39:42
  the
• 39:42
  brands
• 39:43
  that
• 39:43
  came
• 39:43
  forward
• 39:44
  donated
• 39:44
  the
• 39:45
  wardrobe
• 39:45
  and
• 39:46
  the.
• 39:47
  The
• 39:48
  mission
• 39:48
  was
• 39:49
  to
• 39:49
  launch
• 39:50
  June
• 39:50
  1,
• 39:50
  which
• 39:50
  is
• 39:51
  cancer
• 39:51
  survivor
• 39:52
  Month.
• 39:52
  I
• 39:52
  intentionally
• 39:53
  did
• 39:53
  not
• 39:53
  want
• 39:53
  to
• 39:53
  launch
• 39:54
  in
• 39:54
  October
• 39:54
  because
• 39:55
  Breast
• 39:55
  Cancer
• 39:56
  awareness
• 39:56
  month
• 39:56
  is
• 39:56
  October
• 39:57
  and
• 39:57
  it
• 39:57
  is
• 39:58
  saturated
• 39:59
  with
• 40:00
  campaigns.
• 40:01
  Everything,
• 40:01
  everything
• 40:02
  pink.
• 40:03
  So
• 40:04
  recognizing
• 40:05
  that
• 40:06
  I
• 40:06
  have
• 40:06
  two
• 40:07
  daughters
• 40:07
  with
• 40:07
  a
• 40:08
  very
• 40:08
  high
• 40:08
  risk
• 40:08
  cat
• 40:09
  or
• 40:09
  you
• 40:09
  know,
• 40:09
  high
• 40:10
  risk
• 40:10
  of
• 40:10
  getting
• 40:10
  breast
• 40:11
  cancer.
• 40:12
  Women
• 40:12
  are
• 40:13
  being
• 40:13
  diagnosed
• 40:14
  under
• 40:14
  the
• 40:14
  age
• 40:14
  of
• 40:15
  40.
• 40:15
  The
• 40:15
  numbers
• 40:16
  are
• 40:16
  increasing.
• 40:17
  So
• 40:17
  I
• 40:17
  really
• 40:17
  wanted
• 40:18
  to
• 40:18
  lean
• 40:18
  into
• 40:18
  a
• 40:19
  younger
• 40:19
  demographic,
• 40:20
  create
• 40:20
  a
• 40:21
  more
• 40:21
  elevated,
• 40:22
  modern,
• 40:22
  black
• 40:22
  and
• 40:23
  white
• 40:23
  editorial
• 40:24
  style
• 40:24
  campaign
• 40:25
  to
• 40:25
  kind
• 40:25
  of
• 40:25
  like,
• 40:27
  you
• 40:27
  know,
• 40:27
  move
• 40:27
  the
• 40:28
  needle
• 40:28
  per
• 40:28
  se.
• 40:29
  So
• 40:29
  we
• 40:29
  spotlighted.
• 40:30
  There
• 40:30
  was
• 40:30
  10
• 40:30
  of
• 40:31
  us
• 40:31
  and
• 40:31
  I
• 40:32
  like
• 40:32
  to
• 40:32
  share
• 40:32
  this
• 40:32
  fact
• 40:33
  because
• 40:33
  a
• 40:33
  lot
• 40:33
  of
• 40:34
  women
• 40:35
  don't
• 40:35
  realize
• 40:35
  this
• 40:36
  or
• 40:36
  know
• 40:36
  this,
• 40:36
  but
• 40:36
  90%
• 40:37
  of
• 40:37
  women
• 40:38
  that
• 40:38
  are
• 40:38
  diagnosed
• 40:38
  with
• 40:39
  breast
• 40:39
  cancer,
• 40:39
  there's
• 40:40
  no
• 40:40
  genetic
• 40:40
  mutation,
• 40:41
  there's
• 40:41
  no
• 40:41
  family
• 40:42
  history.
• 40:43
  So
• 40:43
  to
• 40:43
  put
• 40:43
  that
• 40:44
  more
• 40:44
  in
• 40:45
  a,
• 40:45
  paint
• 40:46
  a
• 40:46
  better
• 40:46
  picture,
• 40:46
  there
• 40:47
  was
• 40:47
  10
• 40:47
  of
• 40:47
  us
• 40:47
  in
• 40:47
  the
• 40:47
  campaign.
• 40:48
  I
• 40:48
  was
• 40:48
  the
• 40:48
  only
• 40:49
  one
• 40:50
  with
• 40:50
  family
• 40:50
  history.
• 40:51
  And
• 40:52
  six
• 40:52
  of
• 40:53
  the
• 40:53
  other
• 40:53
  women
• 40:53
  were
• 40:53
  under
• 40:54
  the
• 40:54
  age
• 40:54
  of
• 40:54
  35
• 40:55
  and
• 40:55
  the
• 40:55
  youngest
• 40:56
  girl
• 40:56
  being
• 40:56
  24.
• 40:58
  So
• 40:59
  again,
• 40:59
  and
• 41:00
  these
• 41:00
  women
• 41:00
  were
• 41:00
  all
• 41:00
  dismissed
• 41:02
  too
• 41:02
  young.
• 41:03
  You
• 41:03
  don't
• 41:03
  have
• 41:04
  history.
• 41:05
  So
• 41:05
  I'm
• 41:05
  going
• 41:06
  to
• 41:06
  reiterate
• 41:06
  and
• 41:06
  I'm
• 41:06
  going
• 41:07
  to
• 41:07
  say
• 41:07
  this
• 41:07
  again,
• 41:08
  ladies.
• 41:08
  90%
• 41:09
  of
• 41:09
  women
• 41:10
  that
• 41:10
  are
• 41:10
  diagnosed
• 41:11
  with
• 41:11
  breast
• 41:11
  cancer
• 41:12
  have
• 41:12
  no
• 41:12
  genetic
• 41:13
  mutation,
• 41:14
  no
• 41:14
  Broca
• 41:14
  gene,
• 41:15
  and
• 41:15
  no
• 41:15
  family
• 41:16
  history.
• 41:17
  Okay?
• 41:17
  That
• 41:17
  means
• 41:18
  only
• 41:18
  10%
• 41:18
  of
• 41:19
  women
• 41:19
  that
• 41:19
  are
• 41:19
  diagnosed
• 41:20
  have
• 41:20
  the
• 41:20
  gene
• 41:21
  or
• 41:21
  family
• 41:21
  history.
• 41:22
  And,
• 41:22
  and
• 41:22
  if
• 41:23
  caught
• 41:23
  early,
• 41:24
  you,
• 41:24
  if
• 41:24
  caught
• 41:25
  early,
• 41:25
  which
• 41:26
  is
• 41:26
  why
• 41:27
  early
• 41:27
  detection
• 41:27
  is
• 41:28
  so
• 41:28
  important.
• 41:28
  You
• 41:29
  have
• 41:29
  a
• 41:29
  99%
• 41:31
  chance
• 41:31
  of
• 41:31
  a
• 41:31
  five
• 41:32
  year
• 41:32
  survival
• 41:33
  rate,
• 41:33
  which
• 41:33
  is
• 41:33
  huge.
• 41:34
  I
• 41:35
  caught
• 41:35
  my
• 41:35
  very
• 41:35
  early.
• 41:36
  So
• 41:36
  I
• 41:37
  have
• 41:37
  a,
• 41:38
  I
• 41:38
  have
• 41:39
  a,
• 41:39
  I'm
• 41:39
  almost
• 41:39
  nine
• 41:40
  plus
• 41:40
  years
• 41:40
  out,
• 41:42
  which
• 41:42
  is
• 41:42
  amazing.
• 41:43
  So
• 41:43
  again,
• 41:43
  it
• 41:44
  goes
• 41:44
  back
• 41:44
  to.
• 41:44
  Early
• 41:45
  detection
• 41:45
  can
• 41:45
  save
• 41:46
  your
• 41:46
  life.
• 41:46
  Going
• 41:46
  back
• 41:47
  to
• 41:47
  the
• 41:47
  fondl
• 41:47
  project
• 41:48
  we
• 41:48
  launched
• 41:48
  in
• 41:48
  June
• 41:48
  of
• 41:49
  2023
• 41:50
  in
• 41:50
  honor
• 41:50
  of
• 41:50
  cancer
• 41:51
  survivor
• 41:51
  month.
• 41:53
  Beautiful
• 41:54
  campaign,
• 41:55
  amazing,
• 41:55
  epic,
• 41:56
  great
• 41:56
  launch
• 41:57
  party.
• 41:57
  Fast
• 41:58
  forward
• 41:58
  to,
• 41:59
  you
• 41:59
  know,
• 42:00
  six
• 42:00
  months
• 42:00
  later
• 42:02
  had
• 42:02
  the
• 42:02
  amazing
• 42:02
  opportunity
• 42:03
  to
• 42:03
  be
• 42:03
  on
• 42:03
  the
• 42:03
  Drew
• 42:03
  Barrymore
• 42:04
  show.
• 42:04
  But
• 42:04
  during
• 42:05
  between
• 42:05
  the
• 42:06
  time
• 42:06
  I
• 42:06
  launched
• 42:06
  and
• 42:07
  by
• 42:07
  the
• 42:07
  time
• 42:07
  I
• 42:07
  was
• 42:07
  on
• 42:07
  the
• 42:08
  Drew
• 42:08
  Barrymore
• 42:08
  show,
• 42:09
  I
• 42:09
  wasn't
• 42:09
  quite
• 42:09
  sure
• 42:09
  what
• 42:10
  I
• 42:10
  was
• 42:10
  doing
• 42:10
  because,
• 42:10
  you
• 42:10
  know,
• 42:11
  I
• 42:11
  was
• 42:11
  a,
• 42:11
  I
• 42:11
  was
• 42:11
  a
• 42:11
  stylist
• 42:12
  and
• 42:12
  I
• 42:12
  had
• 42:12
  a
• 42:12
  private
• 42:12
  studio.
• 42:13
  I
• 42:13
  was
• 42:13
  an
• 42:14
  entrepreneur.
• 42:14
  I
• 42:14
  had
• 42:15
  a
• 42:15
  business
• 42:15
  for
• 42:15
  a
• 42:16
  very
• 42:16
  successful
• 42:16
  business
• 42:17
  for
• 42:17
  25
• 42:18
  plus
• 42:18
  years.
• 42:19
  And
• 42:19
  I
• 42:19
  was
• 42:19
  entertaining
• 42:20
  the
• 42:20
  idea
• 42:21
  of
• 42:21
  become
• 42:21
  a
• 42:21
  nonprofit
• 42:22
  because
• 42:22
  I,
• 42:23
  we
• 42:23
  had,
• 42:23
  we
• 42:23
  were
• 42:23
  gaining
• 42:24
  momentum.
• 42:24
  But
• 42:24
  I
• 42:24
  was
• 42:25
  like,
• 42:25
  but
• 42:25
  what
• 42:25
  does
• 42:25
  that
• 42:25
  look
• 42:26
  like?
• 42:26
  I
• 42:26
  don't
• 42:26
  even
• 42:26
  know
• 42:27
  anything.
• 42:27
  I
• 42:27
  don't
• 42:27
  know
• 42:28
  anything
• 42:28
  about
• 42:28
  running
• 42:28
  a
• 42:28
  nonprofit.
• 42:29
  Like,
• 42:29
  I'm
• 42:29
  a,
• 42:30
  I'm,
• 42:30
  I
• 42:30
  have
• 42:31
  a
• 42:31
  styling
• 42:31
  studio
• 42:31
  and
• 42:32
  I'm
• 42:32
  a
• 42:32
  stylist.
• 42:32
  Like,
• 42:33
  and
• 42:33
  I'm
• 42:33
  a
• 42:33
  mom.
• 42:33
  I
• 42:33
  have
• 42:34
  no
• 42:34
  idea.
• 42:34
  Fast
• 42:35
  forward
• 42:35
  to
• 42:35
  Drew
• 42:35
  Barrymore.
• 42:36
  She
• 42:36
  gave
• 42:36
  me
• 42:36
  $10,000.
• 42:37
  So
• 42:38
  that
• 42:38
  really
• 42:38
  was
• 42:38
  our
• 42:39
  catalyst.
• 42:39
  Like,
• 42:39
  I
• 42:40
  was
• 42:40
  like,
• 42:40
  okay,
• 42:41
  looks
• 42:41
  like
• 42:41
  we're
• 42:42
  gonna
• 42:42
  move
• 42:42
  forward
• 42:42
  with
• 42:43
  this.
• 42:43
  Because
• 42:43
  I
• 42:43
  wasn't
• 42:43
  gonna
• 42:44
  turn
• 42:44
  that
• 42:44
  $10,000
• 42:45
  back.
• 42:46
  Well,
• 42:46
  it's
• 42:46
  a
• 42:47
  sign.
• 42:47
  It's
• 42:47
  a
• 42:47
  sign
• 42:48
  you're
• 42:48
  on
• 42:48
  the
• 42:48
  right
• 42:48
  path.
• 42:49
  I
• 42:49
  gotta
• 42:49
  do
• 42:49
  this.
• 42:50
  I
• 42:50
  have
• 42:50
  to
• 42:50
  move
• 42:50
  forward.
• 42:51
  So
• 42:53
  we
• 42:53
  officially
• 42:54
  have
• 42:54
  been
• 42:54
  a
• 42:55
  non
• 42:55
  profit
• 42:56
  now
• 42:57
  almost
• 42:58
  two
• 42:58
  years
• 43:00
  and
• 43:00
  we're
• 43:01
  and
• 43:02
  full
• 43:02
  transparency
• 43:03
  we're
• 43:03
  still
• 43:03
  trying
• 43:03
  to
• 43:03
  figure
• 43:03
  out
• 43:04
  where
• 43:04
  we
• 43:04
  want
• 43:04
  to
• 43:05
  put
• 43:05
  our
• 43:05
  funds.
• 43:05
  And
• 43:06
  you
• 43:06
  know,
• 43:07
  we
• 43:07
  have
• 43:07
  various,
• 43:08
  like,
• 43:09
  healing
• 43:09
  workshops
• 43:10
  for
• 43:10
  breast
• 43:10
  cancer
• 43:11
  survivors,
• 43:11
  which
• 43:11
  has
• 43:11
  been
• 43:11
  amazing,
• 43:12
  but
• 43:12
  we
• 43:12
  want
• 43:12
  to.
• 43:13
  I
• 43:13
  think
• 43:13
  what
• 43:14
  I
• 43:14
  really
• 43:14
  want
• 43:14
  to
• 43:14
  do
• 43:15
  is
• 43:15
  focus
• 43:16
  on
• 43:17
  helping
• 43:17
  women
• 43:18
  thrive
• 43:18
  post
• 43:19
  treatment,
• 43:19
  fill
• 43:19
  in
• 43:20
  that
• 43:20
  gap
• 43:20
  between
• 43:21
  treatment
• 43:21
  and
• 43:22
  healing.
• 43:23
  Because
• 43:23
  as
• 43:23
  mentioned
• 43:24
  before,
• 43:24
  like,
• 43:24
  when
• 43:25
  we're
• 43:25
  in
• 43:25
  it,
• 43:25
  all
• 43:25
  we
• 43:26
  want
• 43:26
  to
• 43:26
  do
• 43:26
  is
• 43:26
  survive.
• 43:28
  So
• 43:29
  I,
• 43:29
  I'm
• 43:29
  a
• 43:30
  tr.
• 43:30
  I
• 43:30
  consider
• 43:30
  myself
• 43:31
  a
• 43:31
  true
• 43:31
  thriver
• 43:31
  nine
• 43:32
  plus
• 43:32
  years
• 43:32
  because
• 43:33
  I
• 43:33
  had
• 43:33
  access
• 43:33
  to
• 43:34
  all
• 43:34
  these
• 43:34
  amazing
• 43:35
  things,
• 43:35
  whether
• 43:35
  it
• 43:35
  would
• 43:36
  be
• 43:36
  wardrobe
• 43:37
  or
• 43:38
  healthy
• 43:38
  organic
• 43:39
  foods
• 43:39
  or
• 43:40
  movement
• 43:40
  or
• 43:41
  acupuncture.
• 43:41
  Infrareds
• 43:42
  on
• 43:42
  all
• 43:42
  these
• 43:43
  things
• 43:43
  have
• 43:43
  helped
• 43:43
  me
• 43:44
  heal.
• 43:45
  And
• 43:45
  there's
• 43:45
  many,
• 43:46
  many
• 43:47
  women
• 43:48
  that
• 43:48
  don't
• 43:48
  have
• 43:49
  that
• 43:49
  access
• 43:50
  to
• 43:51
  truly
• 43:51
  be
• 43:52
  able
• 43:52
  to
• 43:52
  heal
• 43:52
  because
• 43:53
  they're
• 43:53
  trying
• 43:53
  to
• 43:53
  take
• 43:53
  care
• 43:54
  of
• 43:54
  their
• 43:54
  kids
• 43:54
  or
• 43:55
  they
• 43:55
  don't
• 43:55
  have
• 43:55
  the
• 43:56
  financial,
• 43:56
  they
• 43:57
  don't
• 43:57
  have
• 43:57
  the
• 43:57
  financial
• 43:58
  means
• 43:58
  to
• 43:58
  get
• 43:59
  acupuncture
• 43:59
  or
• 44:00
  a
• 44:00
  beautiful
• 44:01
  wardrobe
• 44:01
  to
• 44:01
  help
• 44:02
  them
• 44:02
  feel
• 44:02
  good.
• 44:03
  So
• 44:03
  we're
• 44:03
  hope,
• 44:03
  we're
• 44:04
  moving
• 44:04
  forward.
• 44:04
  I
• 44:04
  think
• 44:05
  we're
• 44:05
  going
• 44:05
  to
• 44:05
  hope
• 44:05
  to
• 44:07
  create
• 44:07
  grants
• 44:08
  for
• 44:08
  women
• 44:09
  to
• 44:09
  help.
• 44:09
  Oh,
• 44:10
  that's
• 44:10
  amazing.
• 44:10
  Amazing.
• 44:11
  It's
• 44:11
  amazing.
• 44:12
  And
• 44:12
  I
• 44:12
  love
• 44:12
  also
• 44:13
  that
• 44:13
  you're
• 44:13
  very
• 44:13
  vocal
• 44:14
  about
• 44:15
  women
• 44:15
  doing
• 44:16
  breast
• 44:16
  self
• 44:17
  exams
• 44:17
  in
• 44:17
  between
• 44:18
  their
• 44:18
  appointments
• 44:19
  every
• 44:19
  month.
• 44:20
  It's
• 44:21
  so
• 44:21
  important.
• 44:22
  So
• 44:22
  how
• 44:23
  do
• 44:23
  women
• 44:23
  know
• 44:24
  if
• 44:24
  they're
• 44:25
  doing
• 44:25
  it
• 44:25
  right?
• 44:26
  Or
• 44:26
  is
• 44:26
  it
• 44:26
  just
• 44:27
  first
• 44:27
  and
• 44:27
  foremost?
• 44:28
  Yes.
• 44:28
  Breast
• 44:29
  health
• 44:29
  is
• 44:29
  not
• 44:30
  once
• 44:30
  a
• 44:30
  year.
• 44:31
  It's
• 44:31
  not
• 44:31
  your
• 44:31
  annual
• 44:32
  mammogram.
• 44:33
  And
• 44:34
  there's
• 44:34
  a
• 44:34
  whole
• 44:35
  campaign
• 44:35
  that
• 44:35
  started
• 44:35
  a
• 44:36
  handful
• 44:36
  of
• 44:36
  years
• 44:36
  ago
• 44:36
  with
• 44:37
  this
• 44:37
  young
• 44:37
  girl
• 44:37
  that
• 44:37
  unfortunately,
• 44:38
  unfortunately
• 44:38
  died
• 44:38
  of
• 44:38
  breast
• 44:39
  cancer.
• 44:39
  I
• 44:39
  think
• 44:39
  she
• 44:39
  was,
• 44:39
  she
• 44:40
  was
• 44:40
  diagnosed
• 44:41
  like
• 44:41
  24,
• 44:41
  and
• 44:41
  she
• 44:42
  eventually
• 44:42
  passed
• 44:42
  away
• 44:43
  and
• 44:43
  she
• 44:43
  started
• 44:44
  field
• 44:44
  on
• 44:44
  the
• 44:45
  first.
• 44:45
  So
• 44:45
  there's
• 44:45
  this
• 44:45
  whole
• 44:46
  campaign,
• 44:46
  like
• 44:47
  a
• 44:47
  way
• 44:48
  for
• 44:48
  you
• 44:48
  to
• 44:48
  remember
• 44:49
  is
• 44:49
  field
• 44:49
  on
• 44:50
  the
• 44:50
  first,
• 44:50
  which
• 44:51
  I
• 44:51
  think
• 44:51
  is
• 44:51
  amazing.
• 44:51
  It's
• 44:52
  very,
• 44:52
  very
• 44:52
  important
• 44:53
  for
• 44:53
  me.
• 44:53
  I've
• 44:54
  kicked
• 44:54
  off
• 44:54
  Fondle
• 44:55
  Fridays
• 44:55
  because
• 44:55
  I
• 44:56
  personally
• 44:56
  believe
• 44:57
  the
• 44:57
  more
• 44:57
  you
• 44:58
  do
• 44:58
  something
• 44:58
  as
• 44:59
  you
• 44:59
  know,
• 44:59
  becomes
• 45:00
  routine.
• 45:01
  I'd
• 45:01
  like
• 45:02
  to
• 45:02
  encourage
• 45:02
  all
• 45:03
  women
• 45:04
  to
• 45:04
  perform
• 45:04
  self
• 45:05
  exams
• 45:06
  when
• 45:06
  they're
• 45:06
  putting
• 45:06
  on
• 45:07
  their
• 45:07
  skin
• 45:07
  care,
• 45:07
  their
• 45:08
  moisturizer,
• 45:08
  their
• 45:08
  sunscreen,
• 45:09
  when
• 45:10
  they're
• 45:10
  in
• 45:10
  the
• 45:10
  shower.
• 45:11
  Do
• 45:11
  it
• 45:11
  when
• 45:11
  you're
• 45:12
  in
• 45:12
  carpool.
• 45:13
  Do
• 45:13
  it
• 45:13
  when
• 45:13
  you're,
• 45:14
  when
• 45:15
  you're
• 45:15
  binge
• 45:15
  watching.
• 45:16
  I
• 45:16
  mean,
• 45:16
  that's
• 45:16
  what
• 45:16
  I
• 45:16
  was
• 45:16
  doing.
• 45:17
  If
• 45:17
  I,
• 45:17
  if
• 45:18
  I
• 45:18
  wish
• 45:18
  Stephen
• 45:18
  was
• 45:19
  here,
• 45:19
  he
• 45:19
  would
• 45:20
  tell
• 45:20
  you
• 45:20
  his
• 45:20
  fondest
• 45:21
  memory
• 45:21
  of
• 45:22
  me
• 45:22
  when
• 45:23
  we
• 45:23
  were
• 45:23
  married
• 45:23
  was
• 45:24
  me
• 45:24
  constantly
• 45:24
  feeling
• 45:25
  my
• 45:25
  boobs.
• 45:25
  I'd
• 45:26
  always
• 45:26
  be
• 45:26
  like,
• 45:26
  okay,
• 45:27
  what's
• 45:27
  that?
• 45:28
  What's
• 45:28
  that?
• 45:28
  So
• 45:29
  you
• 45:29
  just,
• 45:29
  you
• 45:30
  just
• 45:30
  do
• 45:30
  it.
• 45:30
  You
• 45:30
  know,
• 45:31
  and
• 45:31
  I
• 45:31
  think
• 45:31
  it's
• 45:31
  important
• 45:32
  in
• 45:32
  between
• 45:35
  all
• 45:35
  your
• 45:35
  screenings,
• 45:36
  do
• 45:36
  it
• 45:36
  because
• 45:37
  the
• 45:37
  more
• 45:37
  you
• 45:38
  feel
• 45:38
  them
• 45:38
  and
• 45:39
  become
• 45:39
  familiar,
• 45:40
  the
• 45:40
  quicker
• 45:40
  you'll
• 45:41
  be
• 45:41
  able
• 45:41
  to
• 45:41
  pick
• 45:41
  up
• 45:41
  any
• 45:42
  new
• 45:42
  changes.
• 45:42
  And
• 45:43
  you
• 45:43
  can
• 45:43
  bring
• 45:43
  it
• 45:43
  to
• 45:43
  your
• 45:43
  doctor's
• 45:44
  attention.
• 45:44
  And
• 45:45
  you
• 45:45
  can
• 45:45
  always
• 45:45
  invite
• 45:46
  your
• 45:46
  partner
• 45:46
  in
• 45:46
  for
• 45:47
  a
• 45:47
  little
• 45:47
  fun.
• 45:47
  Right?
• 45:48
  You
• 45:48
  can
• 45:49
  make
• 45:49
  it
• 45:49
  a
• 45:49
  fun
• 45:49
  sex
• 45:50
  game.
• 45:50
  Exactly.
• 45:51
  Two
• 45:51
  of
• 45:51
  the
• 45:51
  women
• 45:52
  that
• 45:52
  were
• 45:52
  in
• 45:52
  our
• 45:52
  campaign,
• 45:54
  one
• 45:54
  was
• 45:54
  a
• 45:54
  Tinder
• 45:55
  date
• 45:55
  and
• 45:55
  one
• 45:55
  was
• 45:55
  her
• 45:55
  boyfriend
• 45:56
  that
• 45:56
  found
• 45:56
  their,
• 45:56
  their
• 45:57
  lumps.
• 45:58
  So,
• 45:58
  I
• 45:58
  mean,
• 45:58
  you
• 45:58
  can.
• 45:59
  Because
• 45:59
  look,
• 45:59
  there
• 46:00
  are,
• 46:00
  I've
• 46:01
  met
• 46:01
  women
• 46:01
  through
• 46:02
  the
• 46:02
  years
• 46:02
  that
• 46:02
  are
• 46:03
  not
• 46:03
  comfortable
• 46:05
  with
• 46:05
  feeling
• 46:06
  their
• 46:06
  bodies,
• 46:06
  and
• 46:07
  that's.
• 46:07
  Okay,
• 46:08
  well,
• 46:08
  have
• 46:09
  your
• 46:09
  partner.
• 46:10
  And
• 46:10
  I
• 46:10
  also
• 46:10
  know
• 46:10
  that
• 46:10
  there's
• 46:11
  many
• 46:11
  women
• 46:11
  that
• 46:11
  choose
• 46:12
  to
• 46:12
  skip
• 46:12
  their
• 46:12
  mammograms
• 46:13
  or
• 46:13
  their
• 46:14
  ultrasounds
• 46:14
  or
• 46:15
  screenings
• 46:15
  or
• 46:15
  to
• 46:16
  feel
• 46:16
  their
• 46:16
  breasts
• 46:16
  because
• 46:17
  they're
• 46:17
  very
• 46:17
  afraid
• 46:18
  of
• 46:18
  what
• 46:19
  the
• 46:19
  result
• 46:19
  will
• 46:20
  be.
• 46:20
  So
• 46:21
  I
• 46:21
  just
• 46:21
  really,
• 46:22
  really
• 46:22
  want
• 46:22
  to
• 46:22
  encourage,
• 46:23
  like,
• 46:23
  it's,
• 46:23
  it's
• 46:24
  so
• 46:24
  empowering
• 46:25
  to
• 46:26
  know
• 46:26
  your
• 46:26
  body,
• 46:27
  touch
• 46:28
  your
• 46:28
  breast,
• 46:29
  feel
• 46:29
  everything.
• 46:29
  It's
• 46:30
  very
• 46:30
  important
• 46:30
  that
• 46:31
  you
• 46:31
  pay
• 46:31
  attention
• 46:31
  to
• 46:32
  your
• 46:32
  clavicle
• 46:32
  area
• 46:33
  too,
• 46:33
  and
• 46:33
  that
• 46:33
  you
• 46:34
  feel
• 46:34
  underneath
• 46:35
  your
• 46:35
  armpits,
• 46:35
  because
• 46:36
  many
• 46:36
  lumps
• 46:36
  are
• 46:36
  found
• 46:36
  underneath
• 46:37
  your
• 46:37
  armpits.
• 46:38
  You
• 46:38
  know,
• 46:40
  again,
• 46:40
  I
• 46:40
  like,
• 46:40
  I
• 46:41
  mean,
• 46:41
  I
• 46:41
  have
• 46:41
  to
• 46:41
  continue
• 46:42
  doing
• 46:42
  my
• 46:42
  self
• 46:43
  exams
• 46:43
  even
• 46:43
  though
• 46:43
  I
• 46:43
  know
• 46:44
  I
• 46:44
  no
• 46:44
  longer
• 46:44
  have
• 46:45
  breast
• 46:45
  tissue.
• 46:45
  I
• 46:46
  have
• 46:46
  a
• 46:46
  lot
• 46:46
  of
• 46:46
  scarring,
• 46:47
  so
• 46:47
  I
• 46:47
  have
• 46:48
  to
• 46:48
  make
• 46:48
  sure
• 46:49
  that
• 46:49
  I
• 46:49
  check
• 46:50
  all
• 46:50
  my
• 46:50
  scar,
• 46:50
  all
• 46:51
  my
• 46:51
  scar
• 46:51
  tissue
• 46:52
  and
• 46:52
  whatnot.
• 46:52
  But
• 46:53
  we
• 46:54
  go
• 46:54
  through
• 46:54
  so
• 46:54
  many
• 46:55
  changes
• 46:55
  every
• 46:56
  month.
• 46:56
  So
• 46:56
  for
• 46:57
  example,
• 46:57
  if
• 46:57
  you
• 46:57
  were
• 46:57
  to
• 46:58
  do
• 46:58
  it
• 46:58
  once
• 46:58
  a
• 46:58
  month,
• 46:59
  okay,
• 46:59
  you're
• 46:59
  supposed
• 47:00
  to,
• 47:00
  you're
• 47:01
  supposed
• 47:01
  to
• 47:01
  do,
• 47:02
  to
• 47:02
  do
• 47:02
  a
• 47:02
  proper
• 47:02
  self
• 47:03
  exam,
• 47:04
  you
• 47:04
  should
• 47:04
  do
• 47:04
  it
• 47:05
  from
• 47:05
  the
• 47:05
  first
• 47:05
  day
• 47:05
  of
• 47:06
  your
• 47:06
  period.
• 47:06
  It's
• 47:07
  three
• 47:07
  to
• 47:07
  five
• 47:08
  days
• 47:08
  from
• 47:08
  the
• 47:08
  start
• 47:09
  of
• 47:09
  your
• 47:09
  period.
• 47:11
  Okay.
• 47:12
  And
• 47:12
  if
• 47:12
  you're
• 47:12
  in
• 47:12
  menopause,
• 47:13
  you
• 47:13
  can
• 47:13
  do
• 47:13
  it
• 47:13
  the
• 47:13
  first
• 47:14
  of
• 47:14
  each
• 47:14
  month.
• 47:14
  But
• 47:14
  here's
• 47:15
  the
• 47:15
  thing.
• 47:16
  You
• 47:16
  can
• 47:16
  do
• 47:17
  it
• 47:17
  during
• 47:17
  that
• 47:18
  time.
• 47:18
  A
• 47:18
  week
• 47:18
  after
• 47:18
  your
• 47:19
  period,
• 47:20
  you
• 47:20
  may
• 47:20
  feel
• 47:20
  something.
• 47:21
  And
• 47:22
  most
• 47:22
  lumps
• 47:23
  are
• 47:23
  not
• 47:23
  cancerous.
• 47:24
  They're
• 47:24
  benign.
• 47:25
  Okay.
• 47:26
  You
• 47:26
  may
• 47:26
  feel
• 47:26
  something.
• 47:27
  Okay,
• 47:27
  great.
• 47:28
  Then
• 47:29
  a
• 47:29
  week
• 47:29
  later,
• 47:30
  you
• 47:30
  may
• 47:31
  do
• 47:31
  the
• 47:31
  same
• 47:31
  check
• 47:32
  and
• 47:32
  you're
• 47:32
  not
• 47:32
  going
• 47:32
  to
• 47:32
  feel
• 47:32
  it.
• 47:33
  Awesome.
• 47:34
  So
• 47:35
  you
• 47:35
  could
• 47:35
  have
• 47:35
  lumps
• 47:36
  and
• 47:36
  bumps
• 47:37
  and
• 47:37
  changes,
• 47:38
  you
• 47:38
  know,
• 47:38
  every
• 47:38
  couple
• 47:39
  weeks
• 47:39
  because
• 47:39
  of
• 47:40
  hormones.
• 47:40
  That's
• 47:41
  why
• 47:41
  I
• 47:41
  feel
• 47:41
  it's
• 47:42
  so
• 47:42
  important.
• 47:42
  Just,
• 47:43
  just
• 47:43
  do
• 47:44
  it
• 47:44
  as
• 47:44
  much
• 47:44
  as
• 47:44
  you
• 47:44
  possibly
• 47:45
  can
• 47:45
  or
• 47:45
  do
• 47:45
  it
• 47:45
  again
• 47:46
  like
• 47:46
  when
• 47:46
  you're
• 47:46
  putting
• 47:46
  on
• 47:47
  your
• 47:47
  sunscreen
• 47:47
  or
• 47:49
  every
• 47:49
  week
• 47:49
  when
• 47:50
  you're.
• 47:50
  Or,
• 47:50
  you
• 47:50
  know,
• 47:50
  like
• 47:50
  this
• 47:51
  summer
• 47:51
  when
• 47:51
  you're
• 47:51
  putting
• 47:52
  on
• 47:52
  a
• 47:52
  bathing
• 47:52
  suit.
• 47:53
  Find
• 47:53
  little
• 47:53
  moments
• 47:54
  throughout
• 47:54
  the
• 47:54
  Day,
• 47:55
  right?
• 47:55
  Cop
• 47:56
  yourself
• 47:56
  a
• 47:56
  feel
• 47:56
  because
• 47:57
  again,
• 47:57
  it's
• 47:57
  about
• 47:58
  becoming
• 47:59
  familiar
• 47:59
  and
• 47:59
  getting
• 48:00
  to
• 48:00
  know
• 48:00
  your
• 48:00
  body.
• 48:01
  And
• 48:01
  I
• 48:01
  cannot
• 48:02
  stress
• 48:02
  that
• 48:02
  enough.
• 48:03
  What
• 48:03
  does
• 48:03
  this
• 48:04
  mean
• 48:04
  for
• 48:04
  you
• 48:04
  and
• 48:05
  HRTS
• 48:06
  now?
• 48:06
  Is
• 48:06
  it
• 48:07
  something
• 48:07
  you're
• 48:07
  able
• 48:07
  to
• 48:08
  do?
• 48:08
  Because
• 48:08
  we
• 48:09
  are
• 48:09
  in
• 48:09
  this
• 48:09
  beautiful
• 48:10
  place,
• 48:10
  perimenopause
• 48:11
  world.
• 48:12
  I
• 48:12
  love
• 48:12
  this
• 48:13
  conversation.
• 48:14
  This
• 48:14
  is
• 48:15
  perfect
• 48:15
  because
• 48:16
  I
• 48:16
  think
• 48:16
  I.
• 48:16
  I
• 48:16
  think
• 48:17
  I
• 48:17
  mentioned
• 48:17
  this
• 48:17
  to
• 48:17
  you.
• 48:19
  I
• 48:19
  thought
• 48:19
  I
• 48:19
  was
• 48:20
  never
• 48:20
  going
• 48:20
  to
• 48:20
  be
• 48:21
  a
• 48:21
  candidate
• 48:22
  because
• 48:22
  of
• 48:22
  my
• 48:23
  breast
• 48:23
  cancer
• 48:23
  history
• 48:23
  and
• 48:24
  being
• 48:24
  estrogen
• 48:25
  positive.
• 48:26
  But
• 48:27
  fast
• 48:27
  forward
• 48:27
  to
• 48:28
  last
• 48:28
  August.
• 48:29
  I
• 48:29
  met
• 48:30
  with
• 48:30
  a
• 48:30
  doctor
• 48:31
  and
• 48:31
  she
• 48:31
  approved
• 48:32
  testosterone
• 48:33
  for
• 48:33
  me
• 48:34
  because
• 48:34
  I.
• 48:34
  I
• 48:34
  had
• 48:34
  no
• 48:35
  libido.
• 48:36
  So
• 48:36
  I
• 48:36
  was
• 48:36
  like,
• 48:36
  cool.
• 48:37
  And
• 48:37
  then
• 48:38
  fast
• 48:38
  forward
• 48:38
  a
• 48:39
  couple
• 48:39
  months
• 48:39
  later,
• 48:39
  I
• 48:39
  was.
• 48:40
  I
• 48:40
  was
• 48:40
  able
• 48:40
  to
• 48:41
  get
• 48:41
  progesterone
• 48:42
  because
• 48:42
  my
• 48:42
  Progesterone
• 48:43
  was
• 48:43
  like
• 48:44
  0.1
• 48:45
  non
• 48:45
  existent.
• 48:46
  And
• 48:46
  then
• 48:47
  my
• 48:47
  OB
• 48:48
  GYN
• 48:49
  back
• 48:49
  in
• 48:49
  January
• 48:51
  had
• 48:52
  suggested,
• 48:52
  since
• 48:54
  I
• 48:54
  still
• 48:54
  didn't
• 48:55
  really
• 48:55
  have
• 48:55
  a
• 48:55
  strong
• 48:56
  libido,
• 48:57
  she's
• 48:57
  like,
• 48:57
  look,
• 48:57
  I
• 48:58
  think
• 48:58
  that
• 48:58
  you
• 48:58
  should
• 48:58
  consider
• 48:59
  the
• 48:59
  estrogen
• 49:00
  patch
• 49:00
  because
• 49:00
  then
• 49:00
  everything
• 49:01
  we
• 49:01
  balance
• 49:01
  out.
• 49:02
  She's
• 49:02
  like,
• 49:02
  I
• 49:02
  have
• 49:03
  many
• 49:03
  breast
• 49:03
  cancer
• 49:04
  patients
• 49:05
  that
• 49:05
  are
• 49:05
  on
• 49:06
  it,
• 49:06
  but
• 49:06
  it
• 49:06
  really
• 49:07
  is
• 49:07
  at
• 49:07
  your
• 49:07
  own
• 49:07
  risk.
• 49:08
  And
• 49:09
  I
• 49:09
  was
• 49:09
  like,
• 49:09
  great.
• 49:09
  I'm
• 49:10
  seeing
• 49:10
  my
• 49:10
  oncologist
• 49:11
  in
• 49:11
  a
• 49:11
  couple
• 49:11
  of
• 49:11
  weeks.
• 49:11
  Let
• 49:12
  me
• 49:12
  see
• 49:12
  what
• 49:12
  she
• 49:12
  says.
• 49:13
  And
• 49:13
  honestly,
• 49:13
  Roxy,
• 49:14
  I
• 49:14
  thought
• 49:14
  my
• 49:14
  oncologist
• 49:15
  was
• 49:15
  going
• 49:15
  to
• 49:15
  say
• 49:15
  no
• 49:16
  to
• 49:16
  everything.
• 49:16
  I
• 49:16
  thought
• 49:16
  she
• 49:17
  was
• 49:17
  going
• 49:17
  to
• 49:17
  say,
• 49:17
  get
• 49:18
  off
• 49:18
  everything.
• 49:19
  But
• 49:19
  she
• 49:19
  approved
• 49:20
  everything.
• 49:20
  She
• 49:20
  approved
• 49:21
  the
• 49:21
  patch.
• 49:21
  So
• 49:21
  now
• 49:22
  I'm
• 49:22
  on
• 49:22
  the
• 49:22
  full
• 49:22
  cocktail.
• 49:23
  The
• 49:23
  patch,
• 49:24
  the
• 49:25
  compound
• 49:25
  cream
• 49:26
  for
• 49:26
  testosterone,
• 49:27
  and
• 49:27
  100
• 49:28
  milligrams
• 49:28
  of
• 49:28
  progesterone.
• 49:29
  So
• 49:30
  I'm
• 49:30
  being
• 49:31
  very,
• 49:31
  very
• 49:31
  closely
• 49:32
  monitored.
• 49:34
  But
• 49:35
  at
• 49:35
  the
• 49:35
  end
• 49:35
  of
• 49:35
  the
• 49:36
  day,
• 49:36
  you
• 49:36
  know,
• 49:36
  this
• 49:37
  quality
• 49:37
  of
• 49:37
  life
• 49:38
  is
• 49:38
  so
• 49:38
  much
• 49:38
  more
• 49:38
  important.
• 49:39
  Yes.
• 49:40
  Oh,
• 49:40
  my
• 49:40
  gosh,
• 49:41
  it
• 49:41
  absolutely
• 49:41
  is.
• 49:41
  How.
• 49:42
  How
• 49:42
  are
• 49:42
  you
• 49:42
  feeling
• 49:43
  on
• 49:43
  it?
• 49:43
  Do
• 49:43
  you
• 49:44
  notice
• 49:44
  a
• 49:44
  big
• 49:45
  difference?
• 49:45
  The
• 49:46
  difference
• 49:46
  that
• 49:47
  I
• 49:47
  have.
• 49:47
  Have
• 49:48
  felt
• 49:48
  is
• 49:49
  more
• 49:49
  energy.
• 49:50
  My.
• 49:51
  Again,
• 49:51
  my.
• 49:51
  My
• 49:52
  libido
• 49:52
  hasn't
• 49:53
  increased.
• 49:54
  More
• 49:55
  energy,
• 49:55
  less
• 49:56
  water
• 49:57
  retention,
• 49:58
  no
• 49:58
  more
• 49:59
  headaches.
• 50:00
  I
• 50:01
  wasn't
• 50:01
  suffering
• 50:02
  from
• 50:02
  night
• 50:02
  sweats
• 50:03
  or
• 50:05
  what
• 50:05
  do
• 50:05
  you
• 50:06
  call
• 50:06
  it,
• 50:06
  hot
• 50:06
  flashes.
• 50:06
  I
• 50:07
  wasn't.
• 50:07
  I
• 50:07
  wasn't
• 50:08
  on
• 50:08
  that.
• 50:08
  On
• 50:09
  that
• 50:09
  realm
• 50:09
  yet.
• 50:10
  But
• 50:11
  weight
• 50:11
  gain,
• 50:12
  I
• 50:12
  was
• 50:12
  doing
• 50:13
  everything.
• 50:13
  I
• 50:13
  was
• 50:13
  like,
• 50:14
  why
• 50:14
  can
• 50:14
  I
• 50:14
  not
• 50:15
  drop,
• 50:16
  like
• 50:16
  3
• 50:16
  pounds?
• 50:17
  And
• 50:17
  I
• 50:17
  was
• 50:17
  walking
• 50:18
  10
• 50:18
  to
• 50:18
  12,000
• 50:18
  steps
• 50:19
  doing
• 50:19
  my
• 50:19
  protein
• 50:19
  workout.
• 50:19
  I
• 50:20
  was
• 50:20
  doing
• 50:20
  all
• 50:20
  these
• 50:20
  things
• 50:20
  like,
• 50:20
  what
• 50:21
  the
• 50:21
  hell
• 50:21
  is
• 50:21
  going
• 50:21
  on
• 50:21
  here?
• 50:22
  But
• 50:22
  I
• 50:22
  carried,
• 50:23
  like,
• 50:23
  water
• 50:23
  retention.
• 50:24
  And
• 50:25
  my
• 50:25
  mood
• 50:25
  swings
• 50:26
  were.
• 50:27
  If
• 50:27
  you
• 50:27
  talk
• 50:27
  to
• 50:28
  Charlie,
• 50:28
  they
• 50:28
  were
• 50:28
  crazy
• 50:29
  erratic.
• 50:29
  Yep,
• 50:30
  I
• 50:30
  know
• 50:30
  that
• 50:31
  feeling.
• 50:31
  Yep.
• 50:32
  Kids,
• 50:32
  Charlie
• 50:33
  and
• 50:33
  Steven,
• 50:33
  thankfully,
• 50:34
  have
• 50:34
  noticed
• 50:34
  a
• 50:35
  more
• 50:35
  stable
• 50:36
  mood,
• 50:37
  which
• 50:37
  is
• 50:37
  nice.
• 50:38
  Brain
• 50:38
  fog
• 50:38
  was
• 50:39
  bad
• 50:39
  but
• 50:39
  now
• 50:41
  I'm
• 50:41
  sleeping
• 50:41
  great,
• 50:43
  Less
• 50:43
  water
• 50:43
  retention,
• 50:44
  lost
• 50:44
  a
• 50:45
  couple
• 50:45
  pounds.
• 50:46
  And
• 50:46
  my
• 50:47
  energy
• 50:47
  is
• 50:47
  like
• 50:47
  a
• 50:47
  35
• 50:48
  year
• 50:48
  old.
• 50:48
  My
• 50:49
  libido
• 50:49
  is
• 50:49
  not,
• 50:51
  but
• 50:51
  my
• 50:51
  energy
• 50:51
  is
• 50:51
  like
• 50:52
  a
• 50:52
  35
• 50:52
  year
• 50:52
  old.
• 50:53
  Do
• 50:53
  you
• 50:53
  feel
• 50:53
  like
• 50:53
  yourself
• 50:54
  again?
• 50:55
  I
• 50:55
  do.
• 50:55
  I
• 50:55
  feel
• 50:56
  the
• 50:56
  best
• 50:56
  that
• 50:56
  I've
• 50:56
  ever
• 50:57
  have.
• 50:57
  I
• 50:57
  think
• 50:58
  considering
• 50:58
  everything
• 50:59
  that
• 50:59
  I've
• 50:59
  been
• 50:59
  through
• 51:01
  after,
• 51:01
  you
• 51:01
  know,
• 51:01
  going
• 51:02
  through
• 51:02
  divorce,
• 51:03
  what
• 51:03
  my
• 51:03
  father
• 51:03
  went
• 51:04
  through,
• 51:04
  the
• 51:04
  time.
• 51:04
  Unfortunately,
• 51:05
  he
• 51:05
  did
• 51:05
  pass
• 51:05
  away
• 51:06
  two
• 51:06
  years
• 51:06
  ago
• 51:06
  from
• 51:07
  COVID
• 51:08
  So
• 51:08
  that
• 51:09
  was,
• 51:09
  you
• 51:09
  know.
• 51:10
  Thank
• 51:10
  you.
• 51:11
  So
• 51:11
  in
• 51:11
  the
• 51:12
  last.
• 51:12
  I've
• 51:12
  been
• 51:12
  through
• 51:13
  quite
• 51:13
  a
• 51:13
  bit,
• 51:13
  A
• 51:13
  lot.
• 51:13
  I
• 51:13
  mean,
• 51:14
  we've
• 51:14
  all,
• 51:14
  we
• 51:14
  all
• 51:14
  have
• 51:14
  a
• 51:15
  story,
• 51:15
  right?
• 51:15
  We've
• 51:15
  all
• 51:16
  gone
• 51:16
  through
• 51:17
  quite
• 51:17
  a
• 51:17
  few
• 51:17
  things,
• 51:17
  whatever.
• 51:18
  But
• 51:19
  considering
• 51:19
  what
• 51:19
  everything
• 51:20
  that
• 51:20
  I've
• 51:20
  endured
• 51:21
  the
• 51:21
  last,
• 51:21
  you
• 51:21
  know,
• 51:22
  couple
• 51:22
  years
• 51:22
  and
• 51:23
  now
• 51:23
  pivoting
• 51:23
  to
• 51:23
  the
• 51:23
  unknown,
• 51:24
  closing
• 51:24
  a,
• 51:25
  you
• 51:26
  know,
• 51:26
  chapter
• 51:26
  of
• 51:27
  my
• 51:27
  life,
• 51:28
  I
• 51:28
  can
• 51:29
  say
• 51:29
  to
• 51:29
  you,
• 51:29
  I
• 51:29
  do.
• 51:29
  I
• 51:29
  feel
• 51:30
  the
• 51:30
  best
• 51:30
  I.
• 51:30
  I
• 51:30
  have
• 51:31
  that
• 51:31
  ever.
• 51:32
  That's
• 51:32
  amazing.
• 51:33
  What's
• 51:33
  next
• 51:33
  for
• 51:34
  you?
• 51:34
  Well,
• 51:34
  building.
• 51:35
  Building
• 51:36
  fossil
• 51:37
  and
• 51:39
  traveling
• 51:39
  more,
• 51:40
  saying
• 51:40
  yes
• 51:40
  more
• 51:41
  and
• 51:42
  getting
• 51:42
  ready
• 51:42
  to,
• 51:46
  you
• 51:46
  know,
• 51:46
  help
• 51:46
  my
• 51:47
  daughter.
• 51:47
  My.
• 51:47
  She's
• 51:48
  17
• 51:48
  now.
• 51:49
  Apply
• 51:49
  to
• 51:49
  colleges.
• 51:50
  So
• 51:50
  we're.
• 51:50
  I'm
• 51:51
  in
• 51:51
  that
• 51:51
  stage
• 51:51
  of
• 51:52
  midlife,
• 51:52
  like
• 51:53
  college
• 51:54
  campuses.
• 51:54
  I
• 51:54
  mean,
• 51:54
  I
• 51:54
  know
• 51:55
  you
• 51:55
  have
• 51:55
  a
• 51:55
  long
• 51:55
  way
• 51:55
  to
• 51:55
  go,
• 51:56
  but.
• 51:56
  Oh,
• 51:56
  my
• 51:56
  God,
• 51:56
  Roxy,
• 51:57
  like,
• 51:57
  I
• 51:57
  am.
• 51:57
  Like
• 51:58
  beside
• 51:58
  yourself,
• 51:59
  right?
• 51:59
  I
• 51:59
  mean,
• 51:59
  it's
• 52:00
  just.
• 52:00
  And
• 52:00
  you
• 52:00
  know,
• 52:00
  as
• 52:01
  we
• 52:01
  go
• 52:01
  through
• 52:01
  midlife
• 52:02
  and,
• 52:02
  and
• 52:02
  navigate
• 52:03
  these
• 52:03
  changes
• 52:04
  and
• 52:04
  hormones
• 52:04
  too,
• 52:05
  like,
• 52:05
  my
• 52:05
  emotions
• 52:05
  too,
• 52:06
  like,
• 52:06
  I
• 52:06
  mean,
• 52:07
  I
• 52:07
  don't
• 52:07
  know.
• 52:08
  It's
• 52:08
  definitely
• 52:09
  like
• 52:09
  she
• 52:09
  and
• 52:10
  I
• 52:10
  are
• 52:10
  best
• 52:10
  friends
• 52:11
  and,
• 52:11
  you
• 52:11
  know,
• 52:12
  sick.
• 52:12
  She
• 52:12
  had
• 52:13
  Coachella
• 52:13
  last
• 52:13
  week
• 52:14
  and
• 52:14
  she
• 52:14
  came
• 52:14
  back
• 52:14
  sick
• 52:15
  on
• 52:15
  Monday
• 52:16
  and
• 52:16
  I
• 52:16
  took
• 52:16
  care.
• 52:17
  She
• 52:17
  stayed
• 52:17
  home
• 52:17
  yesterday
• 52:18
  and
• 52:18
  I
• 52:19
  took
• 52:19
  care
• 52:19
  of
• 52:19
  her
• 52:20
  and
• 52:20
  she
• 52:21
  looked
• 52:21
  at
• 52:21
  me,
• 52:21
  she's
• 52:21
  like,
• 52:21
  what
• 52:22
  am
• 52:22
  I
• 52:22
  going
• 52:22
  to
• 52:22
  do
• 52:22
  when
• 52:23
  I
• 52:23
  go
• 52:23
  to
• 52:23
  college?
• 52:24
  Are
• 52:24
  you
• 52:24
  going
• 52:24
  to
• 52:24
  come
• 52:24
  visit
• 52:24
  me
• 52:25
  when
• 52:25
  I
• 52:25
  tell
• 52:25
  you
• 52:25
  I
• 52:25
  need
• 52:26
  you?
• 52:26
  I'm
• 52:26
  like,
• 52:28
  let's
• 52:28
  not
• 52:29
  talk
• 52:29
  about
• 52:29
  you
• 52:29
  leaving.
• 52:31
  I
• 52:31
  don't
• 52:31
  even
• 52:31
  want
• 52:32
  to
• 52:32
  think
• 52:32
  about,
• 52:33
  you
• 52:33
  know,
• 52:33
  not
• 52:34
  being
• 52:35
  there.
• 52:35
  I
• 52:35
  mean,
• 52:35
  we're
• 52:36
  always
• 52:36
  there
• 52:36
  for
• 52:36
  them.
• 52:37
  And
• 52:37
  this
• 52:37
  is
• 52:37
  part
• 52:37
  of
• 52:38
  parenting,
• 52:38
  right?
• 52:38
  And
• 52:39
  having
• 52:39
  children
• 52:39
  that
• 52:39
  we
• 52:40
  have
• 52:40
  to
• 52:40
  learn,
• 52:40
  let
• 52:40
  them
• 52:40
  fly.
• 52:41
  But
• 52:41
  it's
• 52:41
  like,
• 52:42
  it's
• 52:42
  probably
• 52:42
  the
• 52:42
  hardest
• 52:43
  part
• 52:43
  of
• 52:43
  parenting,
• 52:44
  I
• 52:44
  would
• 52:44
  imagine,
• 52:45
  is
• 52:45
  letting
• 52:45
  them
• 52:45
  go.
• 52:46
  It.
• 52:46
  Letting
• 52:46
  them
• 52:47
  go.
• 52:47
  Exactly.
• 52:47
  And
• 52:47
  it's
• 52:47
  funny
• 52:48
  because
• 52:48
  I
• 52:48
  just
• 52:48
  had
• 52:48
  a
• 52:48
  meeting
• 52:49
  with
• 52:49
  our
• 52:49
  board
• 52:49
  members,
• 52:50
  you
• 52:50
  know,
• 52:50
  and
• 52:50
  us.
• 52:50
  By
• 52:51
  this
• 52:51
  time,
• 52:51
  we
• 52:51
  have
• 52:52
  like
• 52:53
  six,
• 52:53
  six
• 52:54
  or
• 52:54
  seven
• 52:54
  events
• 52:55
  planned
• 52:55
  for
• 52:55
  the
• 52:56
  year.
• 52:57
  What?
• 52:57
  In
• 52:57
  2026,
• 52:58
  we
• 52:59
  only
• 52:59
  have.
• 52:59
  We
• 53:00
  have
• 53:00
  one
• 53:00
  event
• 53:01
  planned
• 53:01
  and
• 53:01
  I
• 53:01
  have.
• 53:01
  I'm
• 53:02
  not
• 53:02
  even
• 53:02
  planning
• 53:02
  it.
• 53:03
  The
• 53:03
  Alice
• 53:03
  and
• 53:03
  Olivia
• 53:03
  event.
• 53:04
  That's
• 53:04
  Allison.
• 53:04
  Olivia
• 53:04
  and
• 53:05
  B.
• 53:05
  Are
• 53:05
  planning
• 53:06
  it
• 53:06
  with
• 53:06
  proceeds
• 53:07
  going
• 53:07
  to
• 53:07
  Fonda,
• 53:08
  which
• 53:08
  is
• 53:08
  amazing,
• 53:09
  but
• 53:09
  like,
• 53:09
  I
• 53:10
  don't
• 53:10
  have
• 53:10
  the
• 53:10
  bandwidth.
• 53:11
  I'm
• 53:11
  not
• 53:11
  even
• 53:11
  there
• 53:12
  emotionally,
• 53:13
  like,
• 53:13
  or
• 53:13
  mentally.
• 53:14
  My
• 53:14
  main
• 53:15
  focus
• 53:15
  right
• 53:15
  now
• 53:16
  is
• 53:17
  being
• 53:17
  with
• 53:17
  my
• 53:18
  daughters
• 53:18
  because
• 53:19
  time
• 53:19
  is
• 53:19
  slipping
• 53:20
  away
• 53:20
  and
• 53:21
  just
• 53:21
  Navi
• 53:22
  and
• 53:22
  his
• 53:22
  whole
• 53:22
  college,
• 53:24
  college
• 53:24
  thing
• 53:24
  this
• 53:25
  summer
• 53:25
  and
• 53:26
  you.
• 53:26
  Know,
• 53:27
  it
• 53:27
  goes
• 53:27
  by
• 53:28
  in
• 53:28
  a
• 53:28
  blank.
• 53:28
  I
• 53:28
  mean,
• 53:29
  it
• 53:29
  really,
• 53:29
  truly
• 53:29
  does.
• 53:29
  As
• 53:30
  cliche
• 53:30
  as
• 53:30
  it
• 53:30
  is,
• 53:31
  you
• 53:31
  know,
• 53:31
  the
• 53:31
  days
• 53:31
  are
• 53:32
  long,
• 53:32
  the
• 53:32
  hours
• 53:32
  are
• 53:33
  long,
• 53:33
  but
• 53:33
  the
• 53:33
  evening
• 53:33
  years
• 53:34
  are
• 53:34
  so
• 53:35
  short.
• 53:35
  They
• 53:36
  are,
• 53:36
  they
• 53:36
  go
• 53:37
  really,
• 53:37
  really
• 53:38
  quick.
• 53:38
  But
• 53:38
  I
• 53:38
  do
• 53:38
  have
• 53:38
  my
• 53:39
  youngest.
• 53:39
  Your
• 53:40
  daughter
• 53:40
  is
• 53:40
  in
• 53:40
  sixth
• 53:41
  grade,
• 53:41
  right?
• 53:41
  Yeah,
• 53:42
  she's
• 53:42
  in
• 53:42
  sixth
• 53:42
  grade.
• 53:44
  But
• 53:44
  it's
• 53:44
  like,
• 53:44
  you
• 53:44
  know,
• 53:45
  even
• 53:45
  with
• 53:45
  each
• 53:46
  developmental
• 53:47
  step,
• 53:47
  you
• 53:47
  know,
• 53:48
  like
• 53:48
  going
• 53:48
  into
• 53:49
  middle
• 53:49
  school
• 53:50
  does
• 53:51
  feel
• 53:51
  like
• 53:51
  there's
• 53:52
  a
• 53:52
  part
• 53:52
  of
• 53:52
  her
• 53:52
  that
• 53:53
  is
• 53:53
  gone
• 53:53
  now.
• 53:54
  You
• 53:54
  know,
• 53:54
  it's
• 53:54
  like
• 53:54
  a
• 53:55
  part
• 53:55
  that's
• 53:55
  like
• 53:56
  she's
• 53:56
  grown
• 53:56
  out
• 53:56
  of,
• 53:57
  you
• 53:57
  know,
• 53:57
  and
• 53:57
  it's,
• 53:58
  it's
• 53:58
  there
• 53:59
  them
• 53:59
  seizing
• 54:00
  their
• 54:00
  independence,
• 54:01
  which
• 54:01
  I
• 54:01
  know
• 54:01
  is.
• 54:02
  It
• 54:02
  has
• 54:03
  to
• 54:03
  happen.
• 54:04
  But
• 54:04
  like,
• 54:04
  you
• 54:05
  know,
• 54:05
  it's
• 54:05
  just.
• 54:05
  It's
• 54:06
  rough.
• 54:07
  Yeah,
• 54:07
  it
• 54:07
  is.
• 54:08
  But
• 54:09
  to
• 54:09
  answer
• 54:09
  your
• 54:10
  question,
• 54:10
  I'm
• 54:10
  going
• 54:10
  to
• 54:10
  see
• 54:11
  change.
• 54:11
  I'm
• 54:12
  excited
• 54:13
  and
• 54:15
  I'm
• 54:16
  welcoming
• 54:17
  all
• 54:17
  these
• 54:17
  body
• 54:18
  changes
• 54:18
  and
• 54:19
  loving
• 54:20
  myself
• 54:21
  finally.
• 54:22
  It's
• 54:22
  taken
• 54:23
  a
• 54:23
  really
• 54:23
  long
• 54:23
  time
• 54:24
  to
• 54:24
  get
• 54:24
  here
• 54:26
  and,
• 54:27
  you
• 54:27
  know,
• 54:29
  I,
• 54:29
  yeah,
• 54:29
  I
• 54:29
  can
• 54:30
  honestly
• 54:30
  say
• 54:30
  to
• 54:30
  you
• 54:30
  that
• 54:30
  I
• 54:31
  love
• 54:32
  myself
• 54:32
  madly.
• 54:34
  That's.
• 54:35
  It's
• 54:36
  powerful
• 54:36
  for
• 54:37
  sure.
• 54:37
  Really
• 54:38
  powerful.
• 54:38
  So
• 54:39
  what
• 54:39
  would
• 54:39
  you
• 54:39
  say?
• 54:39
  The
• 54:40
  25
• 54:40
  year
• 54:40
  old
• 54:40
  Gina,
• 54:41
  was
• 54:42
  she
• 54:42
  there
• 54:42
  yet?
• 54:43
  First
• 54:43
  and
• 54:44
  foremost,
• 54:44
  I
• 54:44
  would
• 54:45
  say
• 54:45
  that
• 54:46
  letting
• 54:47
  go
• 54:47
  of
• 54:47
  what
• 54:48
  other
• 54:48
  people
• 54:48
  think
• 54:48
  of
• 54:49
  you
• 54:51
  and
• 54:51
  to
• 54:51
  follow
• 54:52
  your
• 54:52
  dreams
• 54:52
  and
• 54:52
  to
• 54:53
  travel
• 54:53
  more.
• 54:53
  I
• 54:54
  wish
• 54:54
  I
• 54:54
  traveled
• 54:54
  more
• 54:55
  for
• 54:55
  sure,
• 54:56
  but
• 54:56
  I
• 54:56
  was
• 54:56
  pursuing
• 54:57
  my
• 54:57
  career
• 54:58
  like
• 54:58
  I
• 54:58
  started
• 54:58
  a
• 54:58
  very
• 54:59
  young
• 54:59
  age.
• 54:59
  I
• 54:59
  think
• 54:59
  that's
• 55:00
  very
• 55:00
  important.
• 55:00
  And
• 55:01
  also
• 55:03
  to
• 55:04
  travel
• 55:04
  more
• 55:05
  and
• 55:06
  to
• 55:06
  say
• 55:06
  yes,
• 55:07
  more
• 55:08
  and
• 55:08
  to
• 55:09
  love
• 55:10
  yourself,
• 55:11
  love
• 55:11
  your
• 55:11
  body,
• 55:12
  love
• 55:12
  yourself.
• 55:12
  Wear
• 55:13
  the
• 55:13
  fucking
• 55:14
  mini
• 55:14
  skirts.
• 55:15
  Wear
• 55:16
  the,
• 55:16
  wear
• 55:16
  the
• 55:17
  crop
• 55:17
  tops,
• 55:18
  Wear
• 55:18
  all
• 55:18
  of
• 55:19
  that
• 55:19
  stuff.
• 55:19
  But
• 55:20
  because
• 55:20
  I
• 55:20
  didn't.
• 55:21
  But
• 55:21
  now
• 55:21
  you
• 55:21
  can.
• 55:22
  Honey,
• 55:22
  I've
• 55:23
  seen
• 55:23
  you.
• 55:23
  You
• 55:24
  can
• 55:24
  rock
• 55:25
  a
• 55:25
  crop
• 55:25
  top
• 55:25
  in
• 55:25
  a
• 55:25
  mini
• 55:26
  skirt.
• 55:26
  I
• 55:27
  rock
• 55:27
  things
• 55:27
  now
• 55:28
  because
• 55:28
  I
• 55:29
  think,
• 55:29
  you
• 55:29
  know,
• 55:29
  it.
• 55:30
  You
• 55:30
  know,
• 55:30
  when
• 55:31
  I
• 55:31
  started
• 55:31
  rocking
• 55:32
  mini,
• 55:32
  like,
• 55:32
  I
• 55:32
  never
• 55:32
  liked
• 55:33
  my
• 55:33
  legs.
• 55:34
  That's
• 55:34
  just
• 55:34
  a
• 55:34
  thing
• 55:35
  that
• 55:35
  I
• 55:35
  had
• 55:35
  growing
• 55:35
  up.
• 55:36
  I
• 55:36
  said
• 55:36
  rocking
• 55:37
  mini
• 55:37
  skirts
• 55:38
  at
• 55:38
  the
• 55:38
  age
• 55:38
  of
• 55:39
  40
• 55:39
  because
• 55:39
  I
• 55:39
  got
• 55:40
  like,
• 55:41
  you
• 55:41
  know
• 55:41
  what?
• 55:41
  I'm,
• 55:42
  I'm
• 55:42
  married,
• 55:43
  I
• 55:43
  have
• 55:43
  kids.
• 55:44
  I'm
• 55:44
  going
• 55:45
  to
• 55:45
  do
• 55:45
  it.
• 55:45
  Who
• 55:46
  gives
• 55:46
  a
• 55:46
  shit?
• 55:46
  And
• 55:47
  I
• 55:47
  just
• 55:47
  started
• 55:47
  wearing
• 55:48
  like,
• 55:49
  not
• 55:49
  super
• 55:49
  revealing
• 55:50
  clothes,
• 55:50
  but
• 55:50
  I
• 55:50
  started
• 55:50
  wearing
• 55:51
  mini
• 55:51
  skirts.
• 55:51
  I
• 55:51
  don't,
• 55:52
  you
• 55:52
  know,
• 55:52
  I
• 55:52
  Don't
• 55:53
  wear
• 55:53
  shorts,
• 55:53
  which
• 55:53
  is
• 55:54
  funny.
• 55:54
  I
• 55:55
  don't
• 55:55
  wear
• 55:55
  shirts,
• 55:56
  but
• 55:56
  I'll
• 55:56
  wear
• 55:56
  a
• 55:56
  mini
• 55:57
  skirt,
• 55:57
  like
• 55:57
  a
• 55:57
  cute
• 55:57
  denim
• 55:58
  miniskirt
• 55:58
  or
• 55:59
  tights,
• 55:59
  whatever.
• 55:59
  And
• 56:00
  now
• 56:01
  I
• 56:01
  will
• 56:01
  rock
• 56:02
  a
• 56:02
  mid
• 56:02
  drift.
• 56:03
  And
• 56:03
  I'm
• 56:03
  all
• 56:04
  about
• 56:04
  the
• 56:04
  plunging
• 56:05
  neckline
• 56:06
  now
• 56:06
  because
• 56:06
  I
• 56:06
  have
• 56:07
  very
• 56:07
  small
• 56:07
  breasts
• 56:08
  now.
• 56:08
  After
• 56:09
  everything
• 56:09
  I
• 56:10
  went
• 56:10
  through,
• 56:10
  I
• 56:10
  will
• 56:10
  say
• 56:11
  that's
• 56:11
  one
• 56:11
  of
• 56:11
  my
• 56:11
  silver
• 56:12
  linings
• 56:12
  that
• 56:13
  I
• 56:13
  can
• 56:13
  rock
• 56:13
  a
• 56:14
  triangle
• 56:15
  triangle
• 56:15
  bikini
• 56:16
  top.
• 56:16
  And
• 56:17
  I
• 56:17
  can,
• 56:17
  I
• 56:17
  can't
• 56:17
  wear
• 56:17
  bras
• 56:18
  anymore,
• 56:18
  but
• 56:19
  I
• 56:19
  can
• 56:19
  wear
• 56:19
  a
• 56:19
  plunging
• 56:20
  neckline
• 56:21
  and
• 56:21
  rock
• 56:21
  it.
• 56:22
  And
• 56:22
  I
• 56:22
  am
• 56:23
  stoked.
• 56:23
  When
• 56:24
  I
• 56:24
  had
• 56:24
  implants,
• 56:24
  I
• 56:25
  couldn't
• 56:25
  do
• 56:25
  it.
• 56:25
  Oh,
• 56:26
  really?
• 56:26
  I
• 56:27
  didn't
• 56:27
  feel
• 56:27
  confident.
• 56:28
  I
• 56:28
  didn't
• 56:28
  know.
• 56:28
  I
• 56:28
  didn't
• 56:29
  feel.
• 56:29
  I
• 56:29
  personally
• 56:30
  didn't
• 56:30
  feel
• 56:30
  good
• 56:31
  in
• 56:31
  it
• 56:31
  and.
• 56:33
  But
• 56:33
  now
• 56:34
  I'm
• 56:34
  good.
• 56:35
  I
• 56:35
  have
• 56:35
  very
• 56:36
  small
• 56:36
  breasts.
• 56:36
  I
• 56:37
  went
• 56:37
  from
• 56:37
  a
• 56:37
  double
• 56:37
  D
• 56:38
  pre
• 56:38
  cancer
• 56:39
  to
• 56:39
  very
• 56:39
  small,
• 56:40
  maybe
• 56:41
  very
• 56:41
  small
• 56:41
  B's.
• 56:42
  And
• 56:42
  I'm
• 56:42
  very,
• 56:42
  very
• 56:43
  happy
• 56:43
  and
• 56:44
  feel
• 56:44
  more
• 56:44
  confident
• 56:45
  than
• 56:45
  ever.
• 56:45
  Oh
• 56:45
  my
• 56:46
  God.
• 56:46
  Well,
• 56:46
  you
• 56:46
  can
• 56:46
  definitely
• 56:46
  rock
• 56:47
  a
• 56:47
  bikini
• 56:47
  because
• 56:47
  I
• 56:48
  saw
• 56:48
  those
• 56:48
  photos,
• 56:48
  girl.
• 56:49
  I'm
• 56:49
  like,
• 56:50
  give
• 56:50
  me
• 56:50
  those
• 56:50
  abs
• 56:51
  right
• 56:51
  now.
• 56:54
  But
• 56:54
  yeah,
• 56:55
  I
• 56:55
  feel,
• 56:55
  I
• 56:56
  feel
• 56:56
  really
• 56:56
  good.
• 56:56
  And
• 56:59
  cancer
• 56:59
  for
• 57:00
  me
• 57:00
  was
• 57:00
  a
• 57:00
  blessing
• 57:00
  in
• 57:01
  disguise
• 57:01
  for
• 57:01
  sure.
• 57:02
  Really?
• 57:02
  Do
• 57:02
  you
• 57:02
  think
• 57:03
  so?
• 57:03
  Yeah.
• 57:03
  You
• 57:04
  know,
• 57:04
  going
• 57:04
  back
• 57:04
  to,
• 57:05
  you
• 57:05
  know,
• 57:05
  women,
• 57:06
  I
• 57:06
  think
• 57:06
  women
• 57:07
  where
• 57:07
  again,
• 57:08
  I
• 57:08
  want
• 57:08
  all
• 57:09
  women
• 57:09
  to
• 57:09
  lean
• 57:09
  into
• 57:10
  their
• 57:10
  intuition
• 57:10
  because
• 57:11
  it's
• 57:11
  so
• 57:11
  powerful.
• 57:12
  And
• 57:13
  I
• 57:13
  thank
• 57:13
  my
• 57:14
  body
• 57:14
  every
• 57:14
  day
• 57:15
  for
• 57:16
  not
• 57:16
  only
• 57:16
  for
• 57:16
  the
• 57:16
  strength
• 57:17
  to
• 57:17
  get
• 57:17
  me
• 57:17
  through
• 57:18
  everything
• 57:19
  I
• 57:19
  went
• 57:19
  through
• 57:20
  and
• 57:20
  give
• 57:20
  me
• 57:20
  the
• 57:21
  courage
• 57:21
  and
• 57:21
  the
• 57:22
  strength,
• 57:22
  but
• 57:22
  also
• 57:24
  the
• 57:24
  fact
• 57:24
  that
• 57:25
  my,
• 57:26
  my
• 57:27
  intuition,
• 57:27
  like
• 57:27
  I
• 57:28
  thank
• 57:28
  my
• 57:29
  body,
• 57:29
  the
• 57:29
  power
• 57:29
  of
• 57:30
  intuition,
• 57:31
  that
• 57:32
  is,
• 57:32
  that
• 57:32
  is
• 57:32
  a
• 57:32
  beautiful
• 57:33
  thing
• 57:33
  that
• 57:33
  I
• 57:34
  leaned
• 57:34
  into
• 57:34
  that
• 57:35
  and
• 57:35
  it
• 57:35
  was
• 57:36
  my
• 57:36
  intuition
• 57:37
  that
• 57:37
  guided
• 57:38
  me
• 57:39
  and
• 57:39
  that
• 57:39
  I
• 57:40
  am
• 57:40
  grateful
• 57:40
  for
• 57:40
  because
• 57:41
  that,
• 57:41
  just
• 57:42
  my
• 57:43
  intuition
• 57:43
  that
• 57:44
  having
• 57:44
  that
• 57:45
  feeling,
• 57:45
  that,
• 57:46
  that
• 57:46
  that
• 57:47
  powerful
• 57:47
  feeling
• 57:48
  of,
• 57:48
  of
• 57:48
  knowing
• 57:49
  has
• 57:50
  confirmed
• 57:50
  how
• 57:51
  powerful
• 57:52
  my
• 57:52
  intuition
• 57:52
  is.
• 57:53
  And
• 57:53
  there's
• 57:53
  been
• 57:54
  many
• 57:54
  other
• 57:54
  things
• 57:54
  through
• 57:55
  the
• 57:55
  years
• 57:55
  that
• 57:56
  I
• 57:56
  have
• 57:56
  followed
• 57:57
  through
• 57:57
  on
• 57:57
  my
• 57:57
  intuition
• 57:58
  that,
• 57:59
  you
• 57:59
  know,
• 57:59
  were
• 58:00
  true
• 58:00
  and
• 58:00
  accurate.
• 58:00
  I'm
• 58:01
  like,
• 58:01
  thank
• 58:01
  you.
• 58:02
  What
• 58:02
  would
• 58:02
  you
• 58:03
  tell
• 58:03
  a
• 58:03
  woman
• 58:03
  listening
• 58:04
  right
• 58:04
  now
• 58:04
  that
• 58:04
  is
• 58:04
  struggling?
• 58:05
  Now
• 58:05
  that
• 58:05
  you've
• 58:05
  sort
• 58:06
  of
• 58:06
  come
• 58:06
  on
• 58:06
  the
• 58:06
  other
• 58:06
  side
• 58:07
  of
• 58:07
  it,
• 58:07
  Lean
• 58:08
  into.
• 58:08
  Your
• 58:08
  community,
• 58:09
  of
• 58:09
  course,
• 58:10
  ask
• 58:11
  for
• 58:11
  help.
• 58:12
  Be
• 58:12
  gentle
• 58:13
  on
• 58:14
  yourself
• 58:15
  and
• 58:15
  you
• 58:16
  will
• 58:16
  get
• 58:16
  through
• 58:16
  this.
• 58:17
  You
• 58:17
  will.
• 58:18
  And
• 58:19
  I'm,
• 58:19
  I'm
• 58:19
  a
• 58:20
  big
• 58:21
  believer
• 58:21
  in
• 58:21
  support
• 58:22
  of
• 58:22
  again,
• 58:23
  ask
• 58:23
  for
• 58:23
  help.
• 58:24
  Because
• 58:25
  people
• 58:25
  really
• 58:25
  do,
• 58:26
  friends
• 58:26
  and
• 58:26
  family
• 58:28
  most
• 58:28
  of
• 58:28
  the
• 58:28
  time
• 58:29
  want
• 58:29
  to
• 58:29
  help,
• 58:29
  but
• 58:30
  they
• 58:30
  don't
• 58:30
  know
• 58:30
  how
• 58:30
  to
• 58:31
  help.
• 58:32
  You
• 58:32
  know,
• 58:32
  like
• 58:33
  they're,
• 58:33
  they
• 58:33
  help
• 58:33
  but
• 58:34
  they're
• 58:34
  just
• 58:34
  not
• 58:34
  quite
• 58:35
  sure.
• 58:35
  And
• 58:36
  unfortunately,
• 58:36
  there's
• 58:36
  some
• 58:36
  people
• 58:37
  that
• 58:37
  can't
• 58:37
  handle
• 58:37
  it.
• 58:37
  And
• 58:38
  they.
• 58:38
  They
• 58:38
  disappear.
• 58:39
  I'd
• 58:39
  many
• 58:40
  disappear
• 58:40
  in
• 58:41
  my
• 58:41
  life,
• 58:42
  you
• 58:42
  know,
• 58:42
  But
• 58:43
  I
• 58:44
  would
• 58:44
  also
• 58:44
  say
• 58:44
  just
• 58:45
  surround
• 58:45
  yourself
• 58:46
  with
• 58:46
  love
• 58:47
  and
• 58:48
  do
• 58:48
  a.
• 58:49
  A
• 58:49
  life
• 58:49
  purge.
• 58:50
  I
• 58:50
  think
• 58:51
  that's.
• 58:51
  I
• 58:51
  think
• 58:51
  everybody
• 58:52
  should
• 58:52
  do
• 58:52
  it.
• 58:52
  Like
• 58:53
  birds.
• 58:54
  Oh,
• 58:54
  tell
• 58:55
  me
• 58:55
  about
• 58:55
  this
• 58:55
  life
• 58:56
  purge.
• 58:56
  Life
• 58:57
  purge,
• 58:57
  I
• 58:57
  think,
• 58:57
  is
• 58:57
  very
• 58:58
  important.
• 58:58
  I
• 58:59
  think
• 58:59
  me,
• 58:59
  like,
• 59:00
  when
• 59:00
  I
• 59:00
  was
• 59:00
  diagnosed,
• 59:00
  I
• 59:01
  purged,
• 59:02
  oh,
• 59:03
  my
• 59:03
  gosh,
• 59:04
  over
• 59:04
  a
• 59:04
  dozen
• 59:04
  clients
• 59:05
  because
• 59:05
  I
• 59:05
  just
• 59:06
  couldn't
• 59:06
  handle
• 59:06
  the
• 59:06
  toxicity
• 59:07
  and
• 59:07
  the
• 59:07
  stress.
• 59:08
  I
• 59:08
  was
• 59:08
  like,
• 59:08
  this
• 59:08
  is.
• 59:08
  I
• 59:09
  don't
• 59:09
  need
• 59:09
  this.
• 59:09
  It
• 59:09
  hurt
• 59:09
  my
• 59:10
  bottom
• 59:10
  line
• 59:10
  in
• 59:10
  my
• 59:10
  business.
• 59:11
  But
• 59:12
  health
• 59:12
  and
• 59:12
  wellbeing
• 59:13
  was
• 59:13
  so
• 59:13
  important.
• 59:14
  Purge.
• 59:15
  Purge
• 59:15
  your
• 59:15
  closet,
• 59:16
  which
• 59:16
  is
• 59:16
  very
• 59:16
  important.
• 59:17
  I'm
• 59:17
  going
• 59:17
  through
• 59:17
  that
• 59:17
  right
• 59:17
  now.
• 59:18
  Like,
• 59:18
  I'm
• 59:18
  doing
• 59:18
  a
• 59:18
  whole,
• 59:18
  like,
• 59:18
  wear
• 59:19
  everything
• 59:19
  in
• 59:19
  my
• 59:19
  closet
• 59:20
  this
• 59:20
  season.
• 59:20
  I
• 59:20
  feel
• 59:20
  like
• 59:21
  I'm
• 59:21
  in
• 59:21
  the
• 59:21
  never
• 59:21
  ending
• 59:22
  purge
• 59:22
  of
• 59:22
  my
• 59:23
  closet.
• 59:23
  It's
• 59:24
  like
• 59:24
  I
• 59:25
  can
• 59:25
  me
• 59:26
  purging
• 59:26
  and
• 59:26
  I
• 59:26
  just
• 59:27
  get
• 59:27
  so
• 59:27
  overwhelmed.
• 59:28
  Yeah,
• 59:29
  I'll
• 59:29
  come
• 59:29
  over.
• 59:30
  We'll
• 59:30
  have
• 59:30
  a
• 59:30
  fun.
• 59:31
  We'll
• 59:31
  do
• 59:31
  a
• 59:31
  fun,
• 59:31
  like,
• 59:31
  playground.
• 59:32
  Totally.
• 59:32
  I
• 59:33
  would
• 59:33
  love
• 59:33
  to
• 59:33
  get
• 59:33
  into
• 59:34
  Roxy.
• 59:35
  Let
• 59:35
  me
• 59:35
  come
• 59:35
  over
• 59:36
  and
• 59:36
  play
• 59:36
  in
• 59:36
  your
• 59:36
  closet.
• 59:37
  We'll
• 59:37
  do,
• 59:37
  like,
• 59:38
  the
• 59:38
  whole
• 59:38
  thing.
• 59:38
  It'll
• 59:39
  be
• 59:39
  super
• 59:39
  fun.
• 59:39
  We'll
• 59:39
  make
• 59:39
  it
• 59:40
  super
• 59:40
  fun.
• 59:40
  I
• 59:41
  would
• 59:41
  love
• 59:42
  that.
• 59:42
  Purging
• 59:44
  people
• 59:44
  in
• 59:44
  your
• 59:44
  life.
• 59:46
  I
• 59:46
  think
• 59:47
  I
• 59:47
  can't
• 59:47
  speak
• 59:48
  of
• 59:48
  my
• 59:48
  house
• 59:48
  right
• 59:49
  now
• 59:49
  because
• 59:49
  I'm
• 59:49
  in
• 59:50
  a
• 59:50
  disarray,
• 59:50
  because
• 59:50
  everything
• 59:51
  under
• 59:51
  my
• 59:51
  studio
• 59:51
  is
• 59:52
  in
• 59:52
  the
• 59:52
  house
• 59:53
  because
• 59:53
  I'm
• 59:53
  converting
• 59:53
  it
• 59:53
  into
• 59:54
  a
• 59:54
  one
• 59:54
  bedroom.
• 59:55
  But
• 59:55
  your
• 59:56
  space,
• 59:56
  your
• 59:57
  personal
• 59:57
  space
• 59:58
  is
• 59:59
  very
• 59:59
  important,
• 1:00:00
  mentally,
• 1:00:00
  emotionally,
• 1:00:01
  just
• 1:00:01
  to
• 1:00:01
  have
• 1:00:02
  a
• 1:00:02
  clean,
• 1:00:03
  somewhat
• 1:00:03
  organized
• 1:00:04
  space.
• 1:00:04
  Get
• 1:00:05
  rid
• 1:00:05
  of
• 1:00:05
  clutter.
• 1:00:06
  But
• 1:00:07
  the
• 1:00:07
  biggest
• 1:00:07
  thing
• 1:00:08
  is
• 1:00:09
  purge
• 1:00:09
  the
• 1:00:10
  people
• 1:00:10
  in
• 1:00:10
  your
• 1:00:10
  life
• 1:00:11
  that
• 1:00:12
  don't
• 1:00:13
  provide
• 1:00:14
  you
• 1:00:14
  joy.
• 1:00:16
  And
• 1:00:16
  I
• 1:00:16
  think
• 1:00:16
  that's
• 1:00:16
  very
• 1:00:17
  important,
• 1:00:17
  you
• 1:00:18
  know,
• 1:00:18
  and
• 1:00:20
  lean
• 1:00:20
  into
• 1:00:21
  the
• 1:00:21
  community
• 1:00:21
  that
• 1:00:21
  you
• 1:00:21
  have.
• 1:00:22
  Lean
• 1:00:22
  into
• 1:00:22
  your
• 1:00:22
  family
• 1:00:22
  and
• 1:00:23
  friends.
• 1:00:23
  If
• 1:00:23
  you
• 1:00:23
  have
• 1:00:23
  children
• 1:00:24
  and
• 1:00:24
  you're
• 1:00:24
  going
• 1:00:24
  through
• 1:00:25
  this,
• 1:00:25
  lean
• 1:00:25
  into
• 1:00:26
  them.
• 1:00:26
  Because
• 1:00:26
  those
• 1:00:26
  little
• 1:00:27
  moments
• 1:00:27
  I
• 1:00:27
  had
• 1:00:27
  with
• 1:00:28
  my
• 1:00:28
  kids
• 1:00:28
  during
• 1:00:29
  these
• 1:00:30
  difficult
• 1:00:30
  healing
• 1:00:31
  stages
• 1:00:31
  were
• 1:00:32
  very
• 1:00:32
  important
• 1:00:32
  to
• 1:00:33
  me,
• 1:00:33
  you
• 1:00:34
  know,
• 1:00:34
  and
• 1:00:34
  call
• 1:00:34
  your
• 1:00:35
  friends.
• 1:00:35
  Like
• 1:00:35
  my
• 1:00:36
  girlfriends
• 1:00:36
  were
• 1:00:36
  my
• 1:00:37
  lifeline
• 1:00:37
  and
• 1:00:37
  continue
• 1:00:38
  to
• 1:00:38
  be
• 1:00:38
  my
• 1:00:38
  lifeline,
• 1:00:39
  you
• 1:00:39
  know,
• 1:00:40
  making
• 1:00:40
  the
• 1:00:40
  time
• 1:00:40
  for
• 1:00:41
  yourself
• 1:00:41
  and
• 1:00:41
  your
• 1:00:41
  friends
• 1:00:42
  to
• 1:00:42
  call
• 1:00:42
  and
• 1:00:43
  talk
• 1:00:44
  about
• 1:00:44
  the
• 1:00:44
  weather,
• 1:00:44
  whatever
• 1:00:45
  it
• 1:00:45
  may
• 1:00:45
  be.
• 1:00:45
  And
• 1:00:45
  then
• 1:00:45
  also,
• 1:00:46
  you
• 1:00:46
  know,
• 1:00:46
  self
• 1:00:46
  care.
• 1:00:47
  Self
• 1:00:47
  care
• 1:00:47
  is
• 1:00:47
  very
• 1:00:47
  important.
• 1:00:48
  Whatever
• 1:00:49
  that
• 1:00:49
  looks
• 1:00:49
  like,
• 1:00:50
  you
• 1:00:50
  know,
• 1:00:50
  Bass,
• 1:00:51
  read
• 1:00:51
  a
• 1:00:51
  book.
• 1:00:52
  You
• 1:00:52
  know,
• 1:00:52
  the
• 1:00:53
  other
• 1:00:54
  suggestion
• 1:00:54
  I
• 1:00:54
  would
• 1:00:54
  have
• 1:00:55
  for,
• 1:00:55
  again,
• 1:00:55
  not
• 1:00:56
  just
• 1:00:56
  someone
• 1:00:56
  that's
• 1:00:56
  on
• 1:00:57
  this
• 1:00:57
  journey
• 1:00:57
  for
• 1:00:58
  you,
• 1:00:58
  for
• 1:00:59
  me,
• 1:00:59
  for
• 1:00:59
  everyone.
• 1:01:01
  Get
• 1:01:02
  off
• 1:01:02
  social
• 1:01:02
  media.
• 1:01:03
  I
• 1:01:03
  know.
• 1:01:03
  God,
• 1:01:04
  it's
• 1:01:04
  so
• 1:01:04
  hard,
• 1:01:05
  Gina,
• 1:01:05
  when
• 1:01:05
  our
• 1:01:06
  businesses
• 1:01:06
  are
• 1:01:06
  so
• 1:01:07
  wrapped
• 1:01:07
  in
• 1:01:07
  it,
• 1:01:07
  you
• 1:01:08
  know?
• 1:01:08
  Oh,
• 1:01:08
  I
• 1:01:09
  know.
• 1:01:09
  And
• 1:01:09
  I've
• 1:01:09
  really
• 1:01:09
  struggled
• 1:01:10
  But
• 1:01:10
  I
• 1:01:10
  will
• 1:01:10
  say
• 1:01:10
  I
• 1:01:11
  did
• 1:01:11
  a,
• 1:01:11
  a
• 1:01:12
  social
• 1:01:12
  media
• 1:01:12
  detox
• 1:01:13
  last
• 1:01:13
  summer
• 1:01:13
  for
• 1:01:13
  six
• 1:01:13
  weeks
• 1:01:14
  and
• 1:01:14
  it
• 1:01:14
  was
• 1:01:14
  a
• 1:01:14
  game
• 1:01:14
  changer.
• 1:01:15
  Where
• 1:01:15
  you
• 1:01:15
  did
• 1:01:16
  not
• 1:01:16
  look
• 1:01:16
  at
• 1:01:16
  it,.
• 1:01:16
  Didn't
• 1:01:17
  look
• 1:01:17
  at
• 1:01:17
  it,
• 1:01:17
  it
• 1:01:17
  was
• 1:01:18
  off
• 1:01:18
  my
• 1:01:18
  phone.
• 1:01:18
  Didn't
• 1:01:19
  post,
• 1:01:19
  didn't
• 1:01:19
  share,
• 1:01:20
  didn't
• 1:01:20
  doom
• 1:01:20
  scroll.
• 1:01:21
  Even
• 1:01:21
  my
• 1:01:21
  intern
• 1:01:22
  at
• 1:01:22
  the
• 1:01:22
  time,
• 1:01:22
  she's
• 1:01:22
  like,
• 1:01:23
  your
• 1:01:23
  energy
• 1:01:24
  is
• 1:01:24
  so
• 1:01:24
  different.
• 1:01:25
  Like,
• 1:01:25
  I
• 1:01:25
  didn't
• 1:01:25
  have
• 1:01:26
  that
• 1:01:26
  anxiety.
• 1:01:27
  So.
• 1:01:28
  But
• 1:01:29
  when
• 1:01:29
  you're
• 1:01:29
  building
• 1:01:30
  something
• 1:01:30
  like
• 1:01:31
  Fondle
• 1:01:32
  or
• 1:01:32
  a
• 1:01:32
  brand
• 1:01:33
  or
• 1:01:33
  a
• 1:01:33
  podcast
• 1:01:34
  or
• 1:01:34
  something,
• 1:01:35
  social
• 1:01:36
  media
• 1:01:36
  unfortunately
• 1:01:36
  is
• 1:01:37
  where
• 1:01:37
  it's
• 1:01:37
  at.
• 1:01:37
  This
• 1:01:37
  is
• 1:01:37
  why,
• 1:01:38
  like,
• 1:01:38
  big
• 1:01:38
  deal
• 1:01:39
  for
• 1:01:39
  me.
• 1:01:39
  Like,
• 1:01:39
  I've
• 1:01:39
  had
• 1:01:39
  this
• 1:01:40
  private
• 1:01:41
  business
• 1:01:41
  account
• 1:01:42
  for,
• 1:01:43
  I
• 1:01:43
  don't
• 1:01:44
  know,
• 1:01:44
  whenever
• 1:01:44
  Instagram
• 1:01:44
  started,
• 1:01:45
  what,
• 1:01:45
  15
• 1:01:45
  years
• 1:01:45
  ago,
• 1:01:46
  it's
• 1:01:46
  been
• 1:01:46
  private
• 1:01:47
  all
• 1:01:48
  these
• 1:01:48
  years.
• 1:01:48
  Up
• 1:01:48
  until
• 1:01:49
  three
• 1:01:49
  days
• 1:01:49
  ago,
• 1:01:49
  I
• 1:01:50
  made
• 1:01:50
  it
• 1:01:50
  public
• 1:01:50
  and
• 1:01:51
  now
• 1:01:51
  I'm
• 1:01:51
  front
• 1:01:51
  facing
• 1:01:52
  as
• 1:01:52
  a
• 1:01:52
  founder.
• 1:01:53
  It's
• 1:01:53
  my
• 1:01:53
  new
• 1:01:53
  founder
• 1:01:54
  page.
• 1:01:54
  Right.
• 1:01:54
  I'm
• 1:01:54
  putting
• 1:01:55
  myself
• 1:01:55
  out
• 1:01:55
  there,
• 1:01:56
  which
• 1:01:57
  is
• 1:01:57
  very
• 1:01:57
  vulnerable
• 1:01:58
  and
• 1:01:58
  a
• 1:01:58
  very
• 1:01:59
  big
• 1:01:59
  deal.
• 1:01:59
  But
• 1:01:59
  as
• 1:01:59
  you
• 1:02:00
  know,
• 1:02:00
  as
• 1:02:00
  a
• 1:02:01
  founder
• 1:02:01
  and
• 1:02:01
  building
• 1:02:02
  things,
• 1:02:02
  you
• 1:02:02
  have
• 1:02:02
  to
• 1:02:03
  be
• 1:02:03
  present.
• 1:02:03
  So
• 1:02:03
  I
• 1:02:03
  was
• 1:02:03
  like,
• 1:02:04
  okay,
• 1:02:05
  I
• 1:02:05
  need
• 1:02:05
  to
• 1:02:05
  be
• 1:02:06
  front
• 1:02:06
  facing
• 1:02:07
  and
• 1:02:07
  start
• 1:02:08
  talking
• 1:02:08
  about
• 1:02:08
  midlife
• 1:02:09
  and
• 1:02:09
  breath,
• 1:02:10
  health
• 1:02:10
  and
• 1:02:11
  style
• 1:02:11
  and
• 1:02:12
  all
• 1:02:12
  these
• 1:02:12
  things
• 1:02:12
  that
• 1:02:12
  we're
• 1:02:13
  going
• 1:02:13
  through.
• 1:02:13
  I
• 1:02:13
  mean,
• 1:02:13
  I'm
• 1:02:13
  not
• 1:02:14
  a
• 1:02:15
  influencer.
• 1:02:15
  By
• 1:02:16
  all
• 1:02:16
  means,
• 1:02:16
  I'm
• 1:02:16
  just
• 1:02:16
  gonna
• 1:02:17
  share
• 1:02:17
  things.
• 1:02:18
  No,
• 1:02:18
  but
• 1:02:18
  you're
• 1:02:18
  a
• 1:02:18
  great
• 1:02:19
  storyteller,
• 1:02:19
  Gina.
• 1:02:20
  That
• 1:02:20
  makes
• 1:02:20
  a
• 1:02:20
  difference.
• 1:02:21
  Like,
• 1:02:21
  you're
• 1:02:21
  able
• 1:02:21
  to
• 1:02:22
  like,
• 1:02:22
  dispense
• 1:02:22
  the
• 1:02:23
  information
• 1:02:24
  to
• 1:02:24
  people
• 1:02:24
  in
• 1:02:24
  a
• 1:02:25
  way
• 1:02:25
  that
• 1:02:25
  they
• 1:02:25
  can
• 1:02:25
  understand
• 1:02:26
  it
• 1:02:26
  and
• 1:02:26
  digest
• 1:02:27
  it.
• 1:02:27
  So
• 1:02:27
  that's
• 1:02:28
  huge.
• 1:02:28
  Well,
• 1:02:28
  I'm
• 1:02:29
  just
• 1:02:29
  trying.
• 1:02:29
  We're
• 1:02:30
  all
• 1:02:30
  going
• 1:02:30
  through
• 1:02:30
  midlife.
• 1:02:32
  I
• 1:02:32
  want
• 1:02:32
  to
• 1:02:32
  be
• 1:02:33
  relatable.
• 1:02:33
  I
• 1:02:33
  want,
• 1:02:34
  I
• 1:02:34
  want
• 1:02:34
  to
• 1:02:34
  be
• 1:02:34
  able
• 1:02:34
  to
• 1:02:35
  relate
• 1:02:35
  to
• 1:02:35
  you
• 1:02:35
  and
• 1:02:35
  I
• 1:02:36
  want
• 1:02:36
  to
• 1:02:36
  relate
• 1:02:36
  to
• 1:02:37
  you.
• 1:02:37
  Like,
• 1:02:37
  what
• 1:02:37
  are
• 1:02:37
  you
• 1:02:38
  going
• 1:02:38
  through?
• 1:02:38
  This
• 1:02:38
  is
• 1:02:38
  very
• 1:02:39
  real.
• 1:02:39
  And
• 1:02:39
  building.
• 1:02:40
  Pivoting
• 1:02:41
  into
• 1:02:41
  the
• 1:02:41
  unknown
• 1:02:41
  or
• 1:02:42
  pivoting
• 1:02:42
  into
• 1:02:42
  a
• 1:02:43
  new
• 1:02:43
  career
• 1:02:43
  in
• 1:02:44
  your
• 1:02:45
  late
• 1:02:45
  40s
• 1:02:45
  and
• 1:02:46
  50s,
• 1:02:47
  it's
• 1:02:47
  not
• 1:02:47
  easy.
• 1:02:49
  I'm
• 1:02:49
  scared.
• 1:02:50
  I
• 1:02:50
  really
• 1:02:51
  am
• 1:02:51
  scared.
• 1:02:52
  There's
• 1:02:52
  highs
• 1:02:52
  and
• 1:02:53
  lows
• 1:02:53
  to
• 1:02:53
  it,
• 1:02:53
  and
• 1:02:53
  I
• 1:02:54
  think
• 1:02:54
  that's
• 1:02:54
  important
• 1:02:54
  that
• 1:02:55
  our
• 1:02:56
  audience,
• 1:02:56
  our
• 1:02:56
  followers
• 1:02:57
  or
• 1:02:57
  other
• 1:02:57
  women
• 1:02:58
  see
• 1:02:58
  the
• 1:02:58
  struggles.
• 1:02:59
  Because
• 1:02:59
  it's
• 1:03:00
  not
• 1:03:00
  all.
• 1:03:00
  It's
• 1:03:00
  not
• 1:03:00
  just
• 1:03:01
  a
• 1:03:01
  highlight
• 1:03:01
  reel.
• 1:03:02
  Like,
• 1:03:02
  I
• 1:03:03
  am
• 1:03:03
  struggling.
• 1:03:03
  I'm
• 1:03:04
  not
• 1:03:04
  getting
• 1:03:04
  paid.
• 1:03:05
  I'm
• 1:03:05
  not.
• 1:03:06
  And
• 1:03:06
  I
• 1:03:06
  had
• 1:03:06
  no
• 1:03:07
  idea
• 1:03:07
  this
• 1:03:07
  was
• 1:03:07
  going
• 1:03:08
  to
• 1:03:08
  be
• 1:03:08
  this
• 1:03:08
  difficult.
• 1:03:09
  However,
• 1:03:09
  I
• 1:03:10
  believe
• 1:03:10
  in
• 1:03:10
  it,
• 1:03:11
  passionate
• 1:03:12
  about
• 1:03:12
  it.
• 1:03:12
  It's
• 1:03:12
  my
• 1:03:12
  new
• 1:03:13
  purpose
• 1:03:13
  and
• 1:03:14
  I'm
• 1:03:14
  making
• 1:03:14
  an
• 1:03:14
  impact
• 1:03:15
  and
• 1:03:15
  I'm
• 1:03:15
  helping
• 1:03:15
  women
• 1:03:16
  along
• 1:03:16
  the
• 1:03:16
  way
• 1:03:17
  and
• 1:03:17
  the
• 1:03:17
  younger
• 1:03:17
  generation.
• 1:03:19
  If
• 1:03:19
  I
• 1:03:19
  save
• 1:03:20
  one
• 1:03:20
  life,
• 1:03:20
  I've
• 1:03:21
  done
• 1:03:21
  my
• 1:03:21
  job,
• 1:03:21
  which
• 1:03:21
  I
• 1:03:22
  know
• 1:03:22
  that
• 1:03:22
  I
• 1:03:22
  already
• 1:03:22
  have.
• 1:03:23
  Right.
• 1:03:23
  And
• 1:03:23
  if
• 1:03:23
  I
• 1:03:23
  encourage
• 1:03:24
  women
• 1:03:24
  to
• 1:03:24
  Start
• 1:03:24
  performing
• 1:03:25
  their
• 1:03:25
  self
• 1:03:25
  exams
• 1:03:26
  or
• 1:03:26
  to
• 1:03:26
  push
• 1:03:26
  them
• 1:03:26
  to
• 1:03:26
  go
• 1:03:26
  do
• 1:03:27
  their
• 1:03:27
  screenings.
• 1:03:28
  Awesome.
• 1:03:28
  But
• 1:03:29
  it's
• 1:03:29
  a
• 1:03:29
  lot
• 1:03:29
  of
• 1:03:30
  work
• 1:03:30
  and
• 1:03:30
  it's
• 1:03:30
  scary.
• 1:03:32
  But
• 1:03:33
  social
• 1:03:33
  media
• 1:03:33
  is
• 1:03:34
  where
• 1:03:34
  it's
• 1:03:34
  at.
• 1:03:35
  However,
• 1:03:36
  time
• 1:03:37
  limits
• 1:03:38
  go
• 1:03:39
  through
• 1:03:39
  your.
• 1:03:39
  Your
• 1:03:40
  feed
• 1:03:40
  mute.
• 1:03:41
  Stop
• 1:03:41
  whoever
• 1:03:42
  you.
• 1:03:42
  You
• 1:03:42
  know
• 1:03:42
  what
• 1:03:42
  I
• 1:03:43
  mean?
• 1:03:43
  Like,
• 1:03:43
  try
• 1:03:43
  and
• 1:03:43
  do
• 1:03:44
  some
• 1:03:44
  kind
• 1:03:44
  of
• 1:03:44
  social
• 1:03:45
  media
• 1:03:45
  purge,
• 1:03:46
  because
• 1:03:46
  I
• 1:03:46
  think
• 1:03:46
  that's
• 1:03:46
  a
• 1:03:47
  healthy
• 1:03:47
  act
• 1:03:48
  of
• 1:03:48
  self
• 1:03:48
  love.
• 1:03:49
  Okay.
• 1:03:49
  Tell
• 1:03:49
  everybody
• 1:03:50
  where
• 1:03:50
  they
• 1:03:50
  can
• 1:03:50
  find
• 1:03:51
  you
• 1:03:51
  and
• 1:03:51
  if
• 1:03:51
  they
• 1:03:51
  want
• 1:03:51
  to
• 1:03:51
  reach
• 1:03:52
  out
• 1:03:52
  to
• 1:03:52
  you.
• 1:03:52
  What
• 1:03:52
  is
• 1:03:53
  the
• 1:03:53
  best
• 1:03:53
  way?
• 1:03:54
  The
• 1:03:54
  best
• 1:03:54
  way
• 1:03:54
  is
• 1:03:55
  you
• 1:03:55
  can
• 1:03:55
  DM
• 1:03:55
  me
• 1:03:56
  at
• 1:03:56
  the
• 1:03:56
  Fondl
• 1:03:57
  Project.
• 1:03:57
  Um,
• 1:03:58
  or
• 1:03:58
  you
• 1:03:58
  can
• 1:03:58
  follow
• 1:03:58
  me
• 1:03:58
  at
• 1:03:59
  Gina
• 1:03:59
  Mlamana.
• 1:04:00
  Say
• 1:04:01
  hello.
• 1:04:01
  You
• 1:04:02
  can
• 1:04:02
  email
• 1:04:02
  us
• 1:04:03
  or
• 1:04:03
  the
• 1:04:03
  fondle
• 1:04:04
  project.org
• 1:04:05
  just
• 1:04:05
  say
• 1:04:05
  hello.
• 1:04:05
  Send
• 1:04:06
  me
• 1:04:06
  a
• 1:04:06
  note.
• 1:04:06
  I'd
• 1:04:06
  love
• 1:04:06
  to
• 1:04:06
  hear
• 1:04:07
  from
• 1:04:07
  you.
• 1:04:07
  Yes,
• 1:04:08
  you're
• 1:04:08
  very
• 1:04:08
  good
• 1:04:08
  with
• 1:04:09
  people,
• 1:04:09
  so
• 1:04:09
  it's
• 1:04:10
  the
• 1:04:10
  perfect
• 1:04:11
  place
• 1:04:11
  for
• 1:04:12
  them
• 1:04:12
  to
• 1:04:12
  come
• 1:04:12
  find
• 1:04:13
  you.
• 1:04:13
  There's
• 1:04:14
  something
• 1:04:14
  about
• 1:04:14
  Gina's
• 1:04:15
  story
• 1:04:15
  that
• 1:04:15
  lingers.
• 1:04:16
  And
• 1:04:16
  it's
• 1:04:17
  not
• 1:04:17
  just
• 1:04:17
  what
• 1:04:18
  she
• 1:04:18
  went
• 1:04:18
  through,
• 1:04:19
  it's
• 1:04:19
  how
• 1:04:19
  she
• 1:04:20
  moved
• 1:04:20
  through
• 1:04:20
  it.
• 1:04:21
  The
• 1:04:21
  decisions,
• 1:04:22
  the
• 1:04:22
  questions,
• 1:04:23
  the
• 1:04:24
  moments
• 1:04:24
  where
• 1:04:24
  she
• 1:04:24
  could
• 1:04:25
  have
• 1:04:25
  stepped
• 1:04:25
  back
• 1:04:26
  but
• 1:04:26
  didn't.
• 1:04:27
  And
• 1:04:27
  I
• 1:04:27
  think
• 1:04:28
  what
• 1:04:28
  stays
• 1:04:28
  with
• 1:04:29
  me
• 1:04:29
  most
• 1:04:29
  is
• 1:04:29
  the
• 1:04:30
  idea
• 1:04:30
  that
• 1:04:30
  you
• 1:04:30
  don't
• 1:04:31
  always
• 1:04:31
  get
• 1:04:31
  certainty.
• 1:04:32
  You
• 1:04:32
  don't
• 1:04:33
  always
• 1:04:33
  get
• 1:04:33
  clear
• 1:04:34
  answers.
• 1:04:34
  But
• 1:04:35
  you
• 1:04:35
  do
• 1:04:35
  get
• 1:04:35
  a
• 1:04:35
  choice
• 1:04:36
  in
• 1:04:36
  whether
• 1:04:36
  you
• 1:04:37
  listen
• 1:04:37
  to
• 1:04:37
  yourself
• 1:04:38
  or
• 1:04:38
  talk
• 1:04:38
  yourself
• 1:04:39
  out
• 1:04:39
  of
• 1:04:39
  what
• 1:04:40
  you
• 1:04:40
  already
• 1:04:40
  know.
• 1:04:41
  And
• 1:04:42
  that
• 1:04:42
  applies
• 1:04:42
  to
• 1:04:42
  everything.
• 1:04:43
  Your
• 1:04:43
  health,
• 1:04:44
  your
• 1:04:44
  relationships,
• 1:04:45
  your
• 1:04:45
  identity,
• 1:04:46
  your
• 1:04:46
  next
• 1:04:47
  chapter.
• 1:04:47
  So
• 1:04:48
  if
• 1:04:48
  this
• 1:04:48
  episode
• 1:04:49
  resonated
• 1:04:49
  with
• 1:04:49
  you,
• 1:04:50
  share
• 1:04:50
  it
• 1:04:50
  with
• 1:04:50
  someone
• 1:04:51
  who
• 1:04:51
  needs
• 1:04:51
  to
• 1:04:51
  hear
• 1:04:52
  it.
• 1:04:52
  And
• 1:04:52
  don't
• 1:04:53
  forget
• 1:04:53
  to
• 1:04:53
  follow
• 1:04:53
  and
• 1:04:54
  leave
• 1:04:54
  a
• 1:04:54
  review
• 1:04:54
  wherever
• 1:04:55
  you
• 1:04:55
  get
• 1:04:55
  your
• 1:04:55
  podcasts.
• 1:04:57
  It
• 1:04:57
  makes
• 1:04:57
  a
• 1:04:57
  bigger
• 1:04:58
  difference
• 1:04:58
  than
• 1:04:58
  you
• 1:04:59
  think.
• 1:04:59
  And
• 1:04:59
  as
• 1:05:00
  always,
• 1:05:00
  whether
• 1:05:01
  you're
• 1:05:01
  breaking
• 1:05:01
  patterns,
• 1:05:02
  rebuilding
• 1:05:03
  your
• 1:05:03
  life,
• 1:05:03
  or
• 1:05:03
  just
• 1:05:04
  starting
• 1:05:04
  to
• 1:05:04
  ask
• 1:05:04
  better
• 1:05:05
  questions,
• 1:05:06
  you're
• 1:05:06
  not
• 1:05:06
  crazy.
• 1:05:07
  You're
• 1:05:07
  evolving.
• 1:05:08
  And
• 1:05:09
  that's
• 1:05:09
  iconic.