Latest / Terri Messenger's Genius Zone / The Economy of Enough: Escape Overload, End Comparison & Reclaim Aligned Success

Transcript

The Economy of Enough: Escape Overload, End Comparison & Reclaim Aligned Success · Terri Messenger's Genius Zone

• 0:12
  It's Edge Radio Australia, it's time for the genius Zone.
• 0:14
  I love this time of the week, every single week because we we
• 0:18
  import our local genius. You know, it's very handy.
• 0:20
  Just got down the road. I'm not a retailer.
• 0:22
  It's a great job, it works out really well.
• 0:24
  Look, it is fabulous, Absolutely Fabulous as always, to have
• 0:27
  Terry Messenger in the building. Thank you, Aaron, and I'm ready
• 0:30
  to hit the road running and I think you and I both need to
• 0:34
  hear this today. This is gonna be a really
• 0:37
  interesting show. I'm a little bit scared, not
• 0:40
  gonna lie. And you have every right to be.
• 0:42
  You have every right to be because this incredible person,
• 0:45
  and I'm sure that we can all relate to this Mm hmm is going
• 0:51
  to be talking through things where it's the simple things in
• 0:55
  life that count, and I cannot agree with that concept.
• 0:59
  I think we all overthink. I'm sure you can actually.
• 1:02
  Yes, yes, yes, I. Can, can but.
• 1:05
  You know I'm watching. We, we overthink too much, you
• 1:08
  know, and, and you know, this is about people getting overloaded
• 1:12
  with information and stuck in their head and, you know,
• 1:17
  operating where they're misaligned in their values.
• 1:21
  So they're not really congruent, which, you know, I totally,
• 1:25
  totally get that. So they're pulled in multiple
• 1:28
  directions. I wonder if anybody can relate
• 1:30
  to this. And, you know, questioning
• 1:32
  yourself, you know, what's going wrong, you know, am I doing the
• 1:37
  right thing Anyway? So with no further ado, I give
• 1:40
  you the author, the author of incredible books for executives,
• 1:46
  entrepreneurs, high achievers who appear to be successful, but
• 1:52
  maybe they're caught in the performance trap.
• 1:55
  So welcome to the show, Bronwyn Shortino.
• 2:00
  Hello and thank you so much for having me.
• 2:03
  I'm really looking forward to where our conversation is going
• 2:06
  to go today. We have no idea that beauty of
• 2:08
  this exactly. It's an interesting thing.
• 2:11
  We obviously we very much believe in free speech here at
• 2:14
  Edge. And part of free speech is we
• 2:16
  don't script things, We let conversations go where they
• 2:18
  should. I think we should just probably
• 2:20
  rename the station tangent as. We.
• 2:23
  Do go on ADHD Radio One of them can I no.
• 2:26
  Especially when I'm sitting in the hot chair.
• 2:28
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 2:29
  So. And I mean, just on that note
• 2:31
  too, yeah. You may be interested to know
• 2:33
  that Bronwyn is the author of Keep It Super Simple and The
• 2:38
  Economy of Enough. And you know, you've got a
• 2:42
  Bachelor of Economics double major in Economics and
• 2:45
  Management, so go you Advanced Diploma in Financial Services.
• 2:51
  And also of course, my favorite, you are an NLP practitioner.
• 2:56
  Yay, bring it on. It's quite a combination, yeah.
• 3:00
  You're in a bit of nutrition, throwing a bit of jigong,
• 3:02
  throwing like I'm very eclectic you most.
• 3:05
  Definitely are and and. Tai Chi But you know, I I
• 3:08
  believe that it comes back to the tree of life.
• 3:11
  So you've got this, you know, beautiful trunk and then a lot
• 3:15
  of tree branches coming out. So let's go back to the
• 3:19
  beginning. So what made you double major in
• 3:23
  all these things and then turn to this craft?
• 3:28
  That's a really interesting question because when I was
• 3:32
  younger all I ever wanted to be was a lawyer.
• 3:35
  Oh dear. OK, You and I, actually, we
• 3:39
  might be on the same thing here. I passionately hate lawyers,
• 3:42
  but. But I did law at school and I
• 3:46
  enjoyed the dance. OK, so yeah, to to be, I mean, I
• 3:50
  want to be a racing car driver, but far better, more exciting.
• 3:52
  But to want to be a lawyer from how young you reckon?
• 3:56
  I think probably mid teens. I thought that was my, yeah, my
• 4:00
  and very insular direction. There was nothing else out
• 4:03
  outside that or around that. Yeah.
• 4:05
  And I grew up in Tasmania, so I went to University of Tasmania
• 4:11
  and you can't study a straight law degree really in Tasmania
• 4:15
  because there's not enough industry and law once you
• 4:19
  graduate. So they are, they make you do a
• 4:24
  combined degree, right? So I knew that I wanted to do
• 4:27
  law and then I had to pick something to go with it.
• 4:30
  So I studied economics law. But what I didn't know was that
• 4:35
  you're basically enrolled in economics and you do
• 4:38
  introduction to law in your first year.
• 4:40
  Yes, you do, but you're not actually part of the law school
• 4:44
  and you're enrolled in introduction to law.
• 4:47
  And I had never learned how to study.
• 4:52
  Do you see them? I went to school.
• 4:55
  To play sport. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:57
  Far more fun. Yeah, far more fun.
• 4:59
  So you're kinesthetic. Yeah, in.
• 5:00
  Other words you. I.
• 5:02
  Feel. True feeling.
• 5:03
  Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
• 5:04
  Yep, better. But I'm also auditory and I'm
• 5:07
  also visual. Like I'm actually a combination.
• 5:10
  Of them. OK, but in my first year at uni,
• 5:17
  I was in the state netball team and the nationals competition
• 5:21
  was three weeks before exams at the end of the year.
• 5:26
  That's for. And so I went away and was full
• 5:30
  on in the nationals and I came back and I was so rundown.
• 5:34
  I was really ill. I ended up with massive cold
• 5:37
  sores all around my mouth. Yep, couldn't eat, had to drink
• 5:39
  through a straw. I was in bed flat, couldn't
• 5:42
  move. And then the week after that was
• 5:44
  swap back. So study for exams and I was
• 5:47
  still sick for most of that and then I had all four of my exams
• 5:51
  in the first 3 days of the timetable.
• 5:53
  For the exam, I'm not. You just did.
• 5:55
  I like that, Yeah. But in those days, because I
• 5:58
  wasn't sick on the day of my exam, I wasn't allowed to defer
• 6:01
  them. So I had to sit them.
• 6:03
  Gotcha. And I got through them, but you
• 6:05
  know, with 50s and like scraped basically.
• 6:08
  Scraped through. And the law school wrote to me
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  and said your marks aren't good enough for you to be accepted
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  into law. And that was like my life was,
• 6:16
  yeah, that's it. I was gonna go work in a bar for
• 6:19
  the rest of my life. Not that there's anything wrong
• 6:21
  with that, but it just wasn't what I wanted to do.
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  And I ended up staying at uni and and doing my economics
• 6:27
  degree right at the end of my second year.
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  The law school worked me and said we've reviewed your results
• 6:32
  and they're much better and we'd like you to apply for special
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  consideration to be accepted into law.
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  And I was sort of the, I was sort of sitting there.
• 6:41
  Well, you didn't. Listen, you didn't.
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  Listen, ask you why you're listening now, blah, blah, blah.
• 6:45
  But I applied and they, they accepted me and I just went, I
• 6:49
  can't stay here for another two years on top of where I was at.
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  I was, you know, two years into a three-year degree and I was
• 6:56
  like, I can't add another two years onto that.
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  So I'm done. So I switched and focused on the
• 7:02
  economics and the management and left uni.
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  And it all comes together, doesn't it?
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  It's like, you know, I know I did a lot of stuff myself.
• 7:10
  And I thought, why am I here? What am I doing?
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  Can I ask you a question? Did you have that moment where
• 7:17
  you asked yourself the question, where did I go wrong?
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  No, you didn't. So where did that come from
• 7:24
  then? Because that's part of the
• 7:27
  element of what you teach people.
• 7:30
  Yeah. So where did you discover that
• 7:33
  people are asking that question and need a new perspective?
• 7:38
  So I got very busy ticking boxes and doing all the things I was
• 7:43
  supposed to do and, you know, the right job, the right car,
• 7:47
  the right, you know, position, the right everything.
• 7:52
  And I moved from Tasmania to Sydney.
• 7:55
  I was headhunted into a big organization in Sydney and I
• 8:00
  then started sleeping for two hours a night.
• 8:05
  Oh, that sounds familiar. Be healthy and I.
• 8:08
  Don't know anyone like that. I did that for 12 years.
• 8:11
  Yeah. Whoa.
• 8:12
  With no, no, you had red eyes. And I was no, but I was driving
• 8:16
  6 and 700 kilometres to different businesses.
• 8:19
  And with. No sleep.
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  And like, what was I doing on the road?
• 8:22
  Really. Like, I was changing to myself
• 8:23
  and everyone else. Yeah.
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  Yeah. But in my mind, I was just
• 8:26
  pushing through and I was, you know, doing all the right
• 8:28
  things. And that all came to a head when
• 8:34
  I was diagnosed with skin cancer on my head.
• 8:40
  And it had been, I'd been told for eight years that I had
• 8:43
  psoriasis, right? And I went to the GP for just a
• 8:46
  normal check up and, and the psoriasis patch had grown
• 8:49
  significantly, sort of doubled in size in a 12 month period.
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  And a lot of the symptoms from psoriasis are driven through
• 8:55
  stress and overloading and all that sort of stuff.
• 8:59
  Yeah. So the GP sort of said, oh, I
• 9:01
  think it's OK, but we'll send you to a dermatologist just in
• 9:04
  case, just in case. And he looked at it and in the
• 9:07
  space of 20 seconds, it turned from psoriasis to no, no, that's
• 9:12
  skin cancer and you're going to need plastic surgery.
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  Wow. And I was just like, seriously,
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  how am I going to fit this in? Alright?
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  I didn't even do the. Totally.
• 9:22
  Were you Australia? I don't have enough time.
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  Time. Yeah, yeah.
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  And so I gave myself half a day, right?
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  Do you have 6 centimetres of my head cut out down to the skull?
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  And then I was back that afternoon, working on my laptop,
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  solving everyone else's problems, working out.
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  Everyone's agenda. And don't you reckon that's that
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  in itself? So much better to be solving
• 9:45
  other people's problems on your own.
• 9:47
  Yeah. Oh, you don't.
• 9:48
  If you don't have to focus on yourself, then you've got no big
• 9:50
  challenges. That's.
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  Right. Yeah, turn your.
• 9:53
  Thoughts outwards. So at the moment you turn it
• 9:55
  inward, you find out. Hang on.
• 9:57
  Yeah, belly button gazes. Belly button lasers.
• 10:00
  You know the ones that don't do anything, they just do this.
• 10:03
  They circulate, they go round and around in a circle, but they
• 10:06
  don't accomplish anything. And we're going to talk about
• 10:09
  how high achievers fall into this track, You know, and, you
• 10:13
  know, people are in a position, too, where they know they wanna
• 10:19
  get somewhere in their world. No, they're supposed to.
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  They're supposed to get there. They're they're.
• 10:24
  Shooting all over themselves aren't.
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  They should. Yeah, you, you definitely do.
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  I mean, that's right. You, you're conditioned that
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  this is what a good person does. This is this is the road that I
• 10:34
  follow. And these and my achievements
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  and my, I don't know, my quality and my standing in life is based
• 10:40
  on me ticking those boxes, having the car, the house, to
• 10:43
  this, to that, the wife, children, you know, Yeah.
• 10:45
  The visibility. Mm, Hmm.
• 10:47
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Expectation.
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  The profile. That's right.
• 10:50
  Yeah, it's, it's kind of like kind of we're trying to build, I
• 10:53
  don't know, a Barbie. Playhouse.
• 10:56
  A Barbie Playhouse. I love it.
• 10:57
  Never gets put away. It never.
• 10:58
  Gets never changes outfits. Yeah.
• 11:01
  Yeah, but you know, the good news, guys, is that this is
• 11:04
  gonna be like your own master class here today because you're
• 11:08
  gonna find out some incredible tools.
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  And one of them is, I believe, really interesting because you
• 11:15
  deal with obviously, people who are high achievers, No one in
• 11:19
  the room like that. And of course, these people are
• 11:25
  also people pleasers and they're stuck in the performance trap.
• 11:30
  So they're stuck in the performance trap.
• 11:31
  They're people pleasing and they're not.
• 11:34
  They're probably grinding and hustling so much, trying to look
• 11:37
  after other people and make a good impression that they're not
• 11:43
  cutting through the red tape and really getting to where they
• 11:46
  wanna be. And you've got some great tools
• 11:51
  of how to simplify, chop it down and start honing into
• 11:58
  productivity. All right, Terry, enough Jibby
• 12:01
  jabber. Let's get into it.
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  So when you're in the hot seat, I'm just prefacing this.
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  Oh dear. Oh, hang.
• 12:11
  On I'm busy. Sorry.
• 12:14
  All right. OK let's see what happens.
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  Let's. Start there.
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  Let's start with business. Yes.
• 12:19
  Yeah, business. Jeez.
• 12:20
  Yeah. OK.
• 12:21
  Well, I know how to do that. Yeah, I got that bit very well.
• 12:24
  Yeah. How can we can we quickly get
• 12:26
  out of overload? So over to you, my girl.
• 12:29
  Yeah. OK.
• 12:30
  So overload is something that we accept as normal, right?
• 12:34
  If you think about when somebody asks you how you are, what's
• 12:37
  your response? Oh yeah, I'm good.
• 12:40
  I'm so busy. Oh, I'm so busy.
• 12:42
  All right, you're doing nothing. I'm so busy, right?
• 12:46
  Yeah, but that's where the conversation goes, right?
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  That's where it ends. Nobody ever actually stops to
• 12:52
  look at what they're busy doing. Doing Yeah, What are you busy?
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  What are you actually busy doing?
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  What is it that is taking up all your time?
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  What is it that's keeping you in overload?
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  Right, because there's two, there's two really important
• 13:06
  points here. The first is you're only busy
• 13:10
  because you have to be seen to be busy.
• 13:12
  Right. I don't agree with that.
• 13:14
  And that will, yeah, OK. From a visibility point of view,
• 13:18
  you have to be able to share. On people running away from
• 13:21
  themselves as well. Like, you know, if you're busy
• 13:24
  enough, you don't have time to think about yourself, correct?
• 13:27
  You're all I agree with that one.
• 13:28
  Yeah, no. Doubt, yeah.
• 13:29
  So the busy is, is an artificial thing that we create, right.
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  But we're not necessarily interested in what we're busy
• 13:36
  with. We just want to be busy.
• 13:38
  So we, we're, we're normal, but we, we can say that we're busy.
• 13:41
  And the second thing is that we don't, we don't learn to say no.
• 13:46
  Oh, yes, right. So when we can't say no, we're
• 13:50
  just constantly adding to the the pile of things that we have
• 13:54
  to do, and then that exacerbates overwork.
• 13:57
  But some people can say no, OK, I don't know who these people
• 14:01
  are. I've heard about them.
• 14:04
  I believe they exist. No, I mean, I certainly in my
• 14:06
  world, I mean, I struggle to say no to people.
• 14:08
  I really do. And it's something that I've
• 14:09
  been working really hard on myself.
• 14:11
  And it hurts because you think I don't want to.
• 14:13
  I don't look, I just don't want to.
• 14:15
  I don't know. I don't want to be someone I'm
• 14:16
  not. But at the same time, when you
• 14:18
  give, give, give, it becomes you lose, lose, lose who you are,
• 14:23
  right. And I'm took for myself, but
• 14:25
  obviously a big percentage of population feels that way,
• 14:29
  right? Yeah, and I think also that you
• 14:33
  don't so much lose who you are, okay?
• 14:36
  From saying no, right? From not saying no, sorry, you
• 14:41
  add to the overload through not being able to say no.
• 14:44
  But don't you lose yourself in not being able to say no though?
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  What you lose is the time and space you need to do the things
• 14:52
  you need for yourself. Right.
• 14:54
  They become I'll do those later. Yep.
• 14:56
  But like, as my husband likes to say, later's a lie.
• 15:00
  Later never ever comes. Well, that that's a great lesson
• 15:04
  for everybody. Your husband is always right.
• 15:07
  Nothing to do with later on. Yeah, so the the way to start is
• 15:14
  to actually start writing down all the things that you're
• 15:18
  doing. Sure, create a list.
• 15:20
  What are all the things that keep you busy?
• 15:22
  And it doesn't matter how big, how small, how little, how
• 15:24
  sideways, how backwards, whatever.
• 15:26
  Write them all down. That's the first step.
• 15:28
  Yeah. And then you can't just leave
• 15:31
  that there. You have to then understand the
• 15:34
  impact of all those things on your life, on your overload, on
• 15:37
  your stress. Yeah.
• 15:38
  So then it becomes about writing next to that one of three
• 15:42
  things. Do you like it?
• 15:43
  Do you love it? Do you hate it?
• 15:45
  OK. Right.
• 15:47
  And then once you get to the end of the list, have a look and see
• 15:51
  how many things on that list you're doing that you hate.
• 15:55
  OK. Do you think, do you think
• 15:58
  Bronwyn, that you came into this kind of philosophy way of
• 16:04
  thinking, especially about prioritising, understanding that
• 16:10
  busyness is quite futile and being able to really prioritise
• 16:17
  because you were also you had the experience yourself where
• 16:22
  your life. You know, was.
• 16:24
  In so much danger and broke because I can tell you, I know
• 16:28
  because of I won't go into mine because it's quite public
• 16:31
  anyway, but that has forced me into a position of it's OK, you
• 16:39
  know, and what is important, what is important.
• 16:44
  And I feel that when people hit a wall and when they hit the
• 16:47
  crisis where it's really bad, that's when things perspectives
• 16:53
  start to change. So on that note, shall we move
• 16:57
  into some dynamic questions that you have for Aaron?
• 17:01
  Sure. Lucky.
• 17:02
  So we'll, we, I'll get you to preface it to start with perhaps
• 17:06
  by what we're gonna deal with, what he's going to deal with.
• 17:10
  Yep. And then we can unpack it and
• 17:13
  you can move through the layers. Unpack it.
• 17:16
  I have got more baggage than Heathrow Airport.
• 17:18
  OK, this looks like a while. OK, I'll get comfy.
• 17:20
  But this will only be in so I'm teasing.
• 17:22
  Yes, choose one bag. Choose.
• 17:24
  One bag. OK, done right.
• 17:27
  Yep. So with that piece of baggage,
• 17:31
  when you look at it, is it locked or can you easily open
• 17:35
  it? It's locked.
• 17:35
  OK, where's the key? I don't have it.
• 17:38
  Why not? Because it forces out of my
• 17:41
  control. What forces out of your control?
• 17:45
  And we go into the with the personal stuff, OK, forces out
• 17:50
  of my control of organizations that have locked that that case
• 17:54
  and taken the key away from me. OK, So what I'm hearing is and
• 17:58
  I, I can't, it's an I cannot because it doesn't matter what
• 18:02
  the because is. But I'm hearing an I.
• 18:04
  Can't, and the key is taken out of his hands, right?
• 18:05
  That's right. Yeah.
• 18:06
  So here's how I look at. I can't.
• 18:10
  What can I do? Guess what?
• 18:13
  I have done exactly that, right? Yeah.
• 18:15
  So it becomes, what can I do? Yeah, we we lock our lives up
• 18:20
  based on all the icons we believe are in front of us.
• 18:23
  Yeah. But there is always a way
• 18:26
  forwards. Yeah.
• 18:27
  Even if that way is sidewards, upwards, down.
• 18:30
  It's all about a step which creates momentum, and momentum
• 18:34
  then takes you forward. Right.
• 18:35
  Well, I have a, a big thing about in life if, if, if you get
• 18:41
  a negative, I want to have the old, you know, E equals MC
• 18:45
  squared here. OK, I want, I want a positive
• 18:49
  that actually counteracts that as much as possibly can.
• 18:51
  OK, So what? Because I can't get into that
• 18:53
  case. Hey, I'm going to build other
• 18:55
  cases that I can and I can actually do positive work with
• 18:58
  that. Yeah, that's my way of
• 19:00
  counteracting. That what's in the case that you
• 19:01
  need. Love.
• 19:04
  OK, so why are you looking outside yourself for love?
• 19:12
  Because I'm a father. Right, because outside yourself
• 19:17
  is in the less ability to control field inside yourself is
• 19:24
  within your control to to control, right?
• 19:28
  So what if, like as a father, right, you're saying I want I
• 19:34
  want this love. That's in this case that's
• 19:36
  locked, sure, and it's out of my control.
• 19:39
  What if you could turn the case into a mirror it?
• 19:42
  Wouldn't fix the thing. Yes, but you're gonna project
• 19:46
  love at the case, and the Love's gonna come back to you.
• 19:49
  You might not get it from an individual, but you're creating
• 19:52
  a situation where you're bouncing the love back to
• 19:55
  yourself. No, you're deceiving yourself.
• 19:57
  But you've, you've basically that, that mirror in my eyes
• 20:00
  anyway, this is my take on it. But that mirror is giving me a
• 20:03
  false image of hope and and positivity that isn't real.
• 20:06
  So yeah, yeah, that that to me is not being genuine with
• 20:10
  myself. But are you saying the love that
• 20:12
  you're putting to the mirror is not genuine?
• 20:14
  No, because you're. Bouncing that back, but the.
• 20:16
  Reflection is not real. The.
• 20:19
  Reflection. The reflection is a projection
• 20:22
  I'm creating. I'm creating but.
• 20:23
  You're saying that the you're saying the Love's coming from
• 20:26
  the case through the mirror back to you.
• 20:27
  I'm saying the love is coming from you to the mirror, back to
• 20:31
  you. Sure, but that's great to love
• 20:32
  yourself. Whoopi Doo, right?
• 20:35
  I yeah. Whoopi Doo.
• 20:35
  Yeah, yeah. It's not important at all.
• 20:37
  It's Whoopi do yeah. Whoopi do, yeah.
• 20:38
  Whoopi do? I'll just go skipping down the
• 20:41
  road and pretend that Love's not important.
• 20:42
  That's right, it's one of my technical channels.
• 20:44
  Whoopi Doo. Yeah, so.
• 20:46
  So this is another thing too, because you can hear that the
• 20:49
  belief system that's going on here and there is that
• 20:54
  resistance of not actually wanting to acknowledge the love.
• 21:01
  And also the fact that you feel that the love is locked into a
• 21:06
  case. However, with what Bronwyn is
• 21:09
  asking of you is because that what you have inside, you can't
• 21:15
  give away anything you haven't got.
• 21:18
  However, you do have love. You love your children, you love
• 21:23
  your friends, you know how to love people, right?
• 21:27
  So what Bronwyn's question is, is when you look into the
• 21:32
  mirror, what if you could look at yourself and actually reflect
• 21:38
  that? Because if you can reflect that
• 21:40
  and then receive it, then what would happen there?
• 21:44
  That would be a lie. But see, the way I see it is you
• 21:47
  have a lot of love, right? And I can feel that I'm highly
• 21:50
  empathic. I can feel it, right?
• 21:52
  You have a lot of love. There's a lot of love to give.
• 21:54
  There's. A lot of joy and a lot of
• 21:56
  lightness in your soul. Right.
• 21:58
  Thank you. And what Terry's saying is that
• 22:01
  you give that freely. Yeah, right.
• 22:04
  You give it to everyone else, but from what I'm hearing, you
• 22:08
  don't give it to yourself. No, because I hold myself to a
• 22:12
  different standard. Why, why, Why should you?
• 22:15
  Why are you not deserving of the love that you give to everyone
• 22:17
  else? Look, I don't have a really good
• 22:21
  answer for that, to be honest with you.
• 22:22
  You know, I just. Maybe the answer will come at
• 22:24
  midnight. Yeah, you never know.
• 22:26
  Yeah, you know, because you. Don't have to have all the
• 22:28
  answers you don't. No, no, no.
• 22:29
  Absolutely right. Yeah.
• 22:31
  But I mean, like, I think like life is a journey and life is a
• 22:33
  learning, a learning exercise, right.
• 22:35
  So I'm a much, much better human being than I was 20 years ago,
• 22:38
  10 years ago, whatever. OK.
• 22:40
  And I'll, I'll own that, right. I'm I'm happy about that.
• 22:44
  I don't like the word better. I really.
• 22:46
  Getting well evolved. None of us, I feel.
• 22:48
  Like evolving. I think evolving is great.
• 22:51
  I I think better is one of the traps that keeps us stuck where
• 22:55
  we are. You know what?
• 22:56
  We're all trying to be a better person.
• 22:57
  We're all trying to be and we don't need to be, you know?
• 22:59
  Yeah. No, no, no one.
• 23:01
  Of those things that pushes us. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you on
• 23:03
  that. I mean, I mean, one of the
• 23:04
  things I hate more than anything in the world is people who
• 23:07
  virtue signal. OK.
• 23:08
  If it's if it's fake, I I just don't want to know about it.
• 23:12
  Yeah. OK.
• 23:13
  But I hate hypocrites with you. But that's that's really job.
• 23:16
  Yeah. So for me, you're using the term
• 23:19
  better. I'm with you on that one.
• 23:20
  I mean, basically, I would like to think that.
• 23:22
  Yeah. OK, evolved is probably a good
• 23:23
  term. I've evolved from who I was 10
• 23:26
  years ago, 20 years ago or whatever.
• 23:28
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:29
  My life has changed massively. And yeah, I like the guy that I
• 23:34
  am more now. Yep, even though the guy 30
• 23:38
  years ago I thought was pretty damn cool.
• 23:40
  Yeah, because you're, you're open to learning, right?
• 23:43
  And when we learn, we, we naturally evolve and we
• 23:46
  naturally progress in different ways and we see things in a
• 23:49
  different way and all those sorts of things.
• 23:51
  And there are naturally always things that we don't want to
• 23:55
  work out and we don't want to look at.
• 23:56
  And we, we want to just keep where we are, right?
• 23:59
  And we're really resistant to seeing another perspective.
• 24:02
  Yeah. But the more that you can allow
• 24:04
  yourself to listen to the perspectives, even if you're not
• 24:07
  ready to deal with it right now, then as Terry said down the
• 24:10
  track somewhere, yeah, there will be something that will
• 24:12
  spark and you'll go, I'm ready now.
• 24:14
  Yeah, I can look at that and I can see it in a different way.
• 24:16
  Can I bring a bit of conscious competency from the outside
• 24:19
  looking in here? The questions you asked were
• 24:22
  profound and I just wanna bring some, you know, logic to the
• 24:27
  audience that you cut through. You've never met Aaron before in
• 24:31
  your life, so you've only known him 5 minutes.
• 24:35
  So. So basically.
• 24:36
  What we've? Done is you've gone down and
• 24:39
  you've opened up Pandora's box. Almost, but not quite.
• 24:44
  But the questions that you asked actually brought out the
• 24:50
  metaphor. So there was a few metaphors
• 24:53
  that he said, right? And that was that was his case
• 24:56
  because that was his metaphor. Yeah, Aaron's metaphor.
• 24:59
  And there was a key, and there was a sense that that key is no
• 25:03
  longer in his hands. So, you know, in terms of what
• 25:07
  you've brought out there, that is absolutely brilliant.
• 25:10
  And then going forward, because we'll bring this into full
• 25:14
  circle. So we'll move on to the next
• 25:15
  technique. The way a hypnotist would then
• 25:20
  do it is ask the question. Well, it's interesting that you
• 25:26
  see this as a case that has been locked and a case where you no
• 25:32
  longer have the key, didn't you? Wouldn't it be interesting?
• 25:38
  And I wonder what it would be like if you found that key and
• 25:43
  you unlocked it. Now, it's not about them making
• 25:48
  those changes right there, but it's about their brain and then
• 25:53
  taking them to that level. So the metaphor of, oh, you
• 25:57
  might have a dream tonight that you find a key and.
• 26:01
  You might be in five years. It could be in five years, it
• 26:04
  could be in 5 minutes. But that's so I just want to say
• 26:07
  how incredible your questions are.
• 26:09
  So let's go to the next one. Well, before we do that, how
• 26:13
  about a quick break Your age? Radio Australia?
• 26:16
  Why is it that when we want to improve our life, we know what
• 26:19
  to do, we just never end up doing it?
• 26:21
  Because it's not your logical mind running the show, Aaron.
• 26:25
  It's your subconscious. And that's the part that needs
• 26:29
  convincing, not your logic. OK, OK, so you're saying my
• 26:33
  subconscious is running the whole show?
• 26:35
  Wow, that's a bit dangerous. Well look, as a master NLP
• 26:39
  trainer in clinical hypnotherapy sarin, what we're going to show
• 26:43
  is how real change actually happens by working with your bad
• 26:48
  habits, traits and instead of beating yourself up about them,
• 26:52
  embracing them. Hang on a minute, Terry.
• 26:54
  Hang on. Are you saying that we're
• 26:55
  supposed to take the side, the villain here, the subconscious
• 26:59
  mind? Of course, absolutely.
• 27:02
  The only reason you're not where you wanna be is because you're
• 27:06
  conscious and subconscious are fighting.
• 27:09
  They're incongruent. So this is about finding what's
• 27:13
  holding you back, releasing it, and then making real, lasting
• 27:18
  change. If you're ready to stop fighting
• 27:20
  yourself. If you're ready to stop boxing
• 27:23
  yourself up and start working with your mind instead of
• 27:25
  against it, join us for the Hypnosis and NLP
• 27:29
  Transformational Workshop. You can join in person or
• 27:33
  online. Details are in the comments.
• 27:41
  Join us for our Saturday workshop March 7.
• 27:44
  NLP Hypnosis. Are you ready for the next lot
• 27:47
  of questions, Aaron? No, no, but.
• 27:50
  I'm here, OK. OK.
• 27:53
  So I'm wondering, do you think we'll go to the audience first?
• 27:58
  Sure, sounds like a great idea. And then?
• 27:59
  We'll move over. Let's do that.
• 28:01
  Let's do one hour and a break. Oh yeah.
• 28:03
  Yeah, let's have a let's have a look.
• 28:05
  All right now. Oh, geez.
• 28:06
  A lot of questions. Just three, just three from the
• 28:09
  from the top all. Right.
• 28:11
  So Beck from Adelaide. Actually is our first.
• 28:15
  Oh no, it's Simone from We Can Do Simone.
• 28:17
  OK, we will talk to Simone in just a moment.
• 28:19
  For the moment, 'cause you know, I'm getting old.
• 28:21
  I need the big screen now. I'm gonna bring now back from
• 28:23
  Adelaide. Lovely to see someone from
• 28:25
  Adelaide. Beautiful little town there now.
• 28:27
  I constantly over commit to others.
• 28:30
  I know that I am a people pleaser, but have you got any
• 28:33
  methods of how I can break this? Yeah.
• 28:35
  So hi, Beck. Thank you so much for asking
• 28:38
  that question. There will be so many people
• 28:41
  that this will be relevant to. So it's really amazing that
• 28:44
  you've stepped up and asked the question.
• 28:47
  I have an entire chapter in my book.
• 28:49
  Keep it super simple. On no is a complete sentence.
• 28:53
  Oh wow, so. Can that be a T-shirt?
• 28:58
  Yeah, and I completely understand where you're coming
• 29:01
  from. People pleasing literally broke
• 29:04
  my life. My life shattered into a million
• 29:07
  pieces on the. Floor.
• 29:08
  Around me, Yep, in less than 60 seconds and it completely
• 29:12
  changed where my life went. OK, the simple answer to you is
• 29:17
  learn to say no. And it is excruciating the first
• 29:23
  time you do it. Yep.
• 29:25
  It is really, really, really, really, really, really, really,
• 29:28
  really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard,
• 29:31
  right? And the thing to understand is
• 29:36
  that when you say no, you're creating a boundary, right?
• 29:39
  And we are so afraid of boundaries, boundaries.
• 29:44
  We feel like it is cutting out people from our lives.
• 29:47
  It is creating a situation where people will never talk to us
• 29:50
  again. It makes us feel so
• 29:52
  uncomfortable. But really, when we set a
• 29:55
  boundary, we're not saying you can't ever speak to me again and
• 29:58
  I can't ever do anything with you again.
• 30:00
  You're saying this is how I need to communicate with you moving
• 30:05
  forward? Yeah.
• 30:06
  So you're saying this is what I need for me to be able to
• 30:11
  actually be OK? Yeah.
• 30:13
  And so no is what I'm saying for that to happen.
• 30:16
  That's that's beautiful. So Beck, I mean, Beck's asked
• 30:18
  this question. I think a lot of us can relate
• 30:21
  obviously to this question, but that I think the bottom line
• 30:23
  here is boundaries. Boundaries.
• 30:26
  We, we constantly, we, we're a bit elastic on them.
• 30:28
  Let's be honest, right? If they if they exist, yes.
• 30:32
  And, and I think there's a lot of fear around rejection
• 30:34
  boundaries. I'm going to ask Beck a question
• 30:38
  that I really learnt from you today and that is, you know,
• 30:44
  Beck, if you say no to people, what's the worst thing that can
• 30:50
  happen? What is the undergirding fear?
• 30:53
  I have heard that people will catch fire on the spot.
• 30:55
  Oh yeah, and die, yes. Yep, that's what happens.
• 30:58
  You know I. Saw it and we believe it or not
• 30:59
  once. It happens all the time, yeah.
• 31:01
  Yeah, you might wanna check. That one, now you might check,
• 31:05
  but I think you know, don't, don't run away.
• 31:07
  Don't run away from the fear. Embrace it for a moment.
• 31:13
  Ask yourself what's the worst thing that's gonna happen?
• 31:16
  And you know, and then ask yourself what's the best thing
• 31:19
  that's gonna happen? What?
• 31:20
  Do I? Gain.
• 31:21
  Yeah. And what's the most likely thing
• 31:24
  that's gonna happen? Yeah, yeah.
• 31:27
  Yeah, that's great. Actually, Simone does have a
• 31:29
  question at the bar. Yeah, sorry about.
• 31:32
  That all good. Simone's question is thank you,
• 31:35
  Simone, all the way from Melbourne.
• 31:36
  OK. I hope you're enjoying some
• 31:38
  sunshine. I hear it happens occasionally
• 31:40
  in Melbourne. I'm just teasing.
• 31:43
  My brother lives in Melbourne, so in Melbourne we've all got
• 31:47
  out. Melbourne moving on, moving on.
• 31:50
  I'm teasing, I'm teasing. OK, How do I?
• 31:52
  I'll use English. How do I uncover the triggers
• 31:56
  that are silently stealing my energy and clarity?
• 31:59
  I do function well on the outside, but suffering in
• 32:02
  silence. So really work out what your
• 32:07
  definition of a trigger is. Yeah, I would say a trigger is
• 32:10
  anything that creates a reaction in you that doesn't work for
• 32:13
  you. That's how I define a trigger
• 32:16
  for myself. But also I, I use technology for
• 32:22
  this. If I'm honest right now, I, I'm
• 32:24
  not a massive technology fan in terms of the, you know,
• 32:28
  electromagnetic frequencies and the way that it can interrupt
• 32:31
  with our system in our sleep and all of those sorts of things.
• 32:33
  But technology has some wonderful aspects to it.
• 32:37
  And one of those things is an electronic diary that you can
• 32:40
  actually put an appointment in the diary.
• 32:43
  And I do this three times a day. And I have done this for over a
• 32:46
  decade, right? And I still have the same
• 32:49
  notification that comes up three times a day.
• 32:51
  And it's a check in, right? It's a check in with yourself.
• 32:56
  And you just take 5 minutes. Yep.
• 32:59
  To say, how am I feeling right now?
• 33:01
  And you consciously reconnect with yourself and you look at it
• 33:06
  and you say, right, I'm feeling really angry right now.
• 33:08
  Or I'm feeling really angsty right now, Yeah.
• 33:10
  Or I'm feeling really tired or I'm really hungry or I'm really
• 33:14
  thirsty or what's going on, right?
• 33:16
  And then depending on what you uncover in that 5 minutes, you
• 33:20
  can then say, OK, well, what have I been doing this morning
• 33:22
  that's impacted that? So it's really, it's really
• 33:26
  unwinding and re, you know, reconnecting consciously to
• 33:30
  yourself and what's going on for you.
• 33:33
  Yes, you know, because you may have expended so much energy
• 33:38
  being the people pleaser and, and looking after everyone
• 33:41
  else's agendas and, and for holding up the facade of success
• 33:45
  and feeling like you're, you know, not getting it right and
• 33:48
  the imposter syndrome and your confidence is in the toilet and
• 33:51
  all the rest of it, right? Can I ask you this question is
• 33:54
  that maybe sometimes, OK, you're kind of breaking the day into
• 33:56
  say 3 sectors by having a two check insurance I guess, right.
• 34:00
  So that if you have had a bad morning, you can put a full stop
• 34:03
  on it and then move on. Well, you can actually then say
• 34:06
  the next step to that is once you've worked out what's what's
• 34:08
  going on for you, it's like, what do I need right now?
• 34:11
  Yeah, what kind of give myself right now, it's really easy,
• 34:14
  simple, practical that can change what happens in the next
• 34:18
  couple of hours. Right, that's.
• 34:20
  Awesome. And it could be as simple as I
• 34:22
  just need a glass of water or I need to get up and walk around
• 34:25
  the office. Or I might need to get on my
• 34:27
  bike. I need need to get on my bike or
• 34:29
  I need to go outside and just stand next to a tree.
• 34:32
  You know, I need to do deep breathing.
• 34:34
  They're not things that take massive amounts of time, but
• 34:37
  they can significantly shift where your energies are.
• 34:39
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's so powerful.
• 34:42
  They say that our present feelings quite often comes from
• 34:47
  our past. Yeah.
• 34:48
  So whatever happened yesterday is your tomorrow's yeah, kind of
• 34:52
  energy and outcome. Yeah.
• 34:53
  I think we've got one more question from Julie.
• 34:56
  Now, I'm already in trouble of having you go at Victorians, OK,
• 34:59
  at the Melbourne. So now we're gonna go to New
• 35:01
  Zealand, which I've got. I've just there's no ammunition
• 35:04
  at all. Feelings lie.
• 35:06
  I'm teasing. I'll tell you what, honestly,
• 35:08
  I've got so many great Kiwi friends.
• 35:10
  I'm I'm very, very lucky. And my professions have have
• 35:13
  we've crossed over a lot, not scaffolding, but pretty much
• 35:16
  everything. OK, so I just asking this
• 35:19
  question from Julie. Thank you so much for your
• 35:21
  message all the way from across the Dutch.
• 35:23
  OK, I feel I put things off all the time and fear of being
• 35:28
  judged. Are there any methods for
• 35:31
  ordering my day better? So I prioritize important things
• 35:34
  with confidence. I just want to say one thing
• 35:37
  before we hand over to Bronwyn. Nobody cares.
• 35:41
  Like, sorry to say it. What do you mean?
• 35:43
  I I OK. Yeah.
• 35:44
  He had to say that to save the show.
• 35:46
  Because that sounds so cruel to Julie.
• 35:49
  I know Julie. She will forgive me later.
• 35:51
  Cool. But you're worrying about what
• 35:54
  everybody else is thinking. Nobody's thinking about you.
• 35:57
  Everybody's too busy. Thinking about themselves.
• 36:00
  Over to you, Bronwyn. OK.
• 36:02
  Julie, thanks for asking that question because it is a big one
• 36:06
  that a lot of people struggle with is the judgement, the
• 36:09
  feeling that other people are judging it.
• 36:10
  Yeah. And that you will be judged for
• 36:13
  the decisions that you make and the you know, and as we've moved
• 36:16
  into a much more visible world where everything's online, that
• 36:20
  fear of taking a chance and putting a toe in the water and
• 36:23
  trying things, It is just, it overrides everything because
• 36:28
  we've all seen what can happen in, you know, the space of an
• 36:31
  hour with things going viral and all the restaurant.
• 36:34
  And you don't want, you don't want to be the butt of someone's
• 36:36
  joke. You don't want to be a a meme
• 36:38
  out there that somebody's created because you've tried
• 36:41
  something out and it has at. Least at least you know you're
• 36:43
  making a difference or an impact.
• 36:47
  So I would say that there's a couple of things to understand
• 36:52
  here and and that is what if one is what somebody else thinks of
• 36:57
  you is none of your business. Your business or their business?
• 37:00
  None of your business. But.
• 37:02
  It's none of your business because everybody that makes a
• 37:06
  judgement on you, that judgement comes from their fair filters,
• 37:10
  their life experiences, their view of the world, and also
• 37:15
  often a tiny little percentage of information.
• 37:19
  Yeah, that's not relevant to what you're actually doing.
• 37:22
  Right. And I would say that the people
• 37:26
  who judge the most are the ones that are the most frightened of
• 37:29
  looking at themselves. And they judge because it saves
• 37:33
  them, like you're saying before, Terry, from actually looking at
• 37:36
  yourself. Oh, look, in the world we live
• 37:39
  in right now, self protection seems to, I think most people
• 37:42
  are allergic to self reflection, OK.
• 37:45
  Or accountability. I really mean that.
• 37:46
  I we've, I don't think we've ever had a time in history where
• 37:49
  accountability has been such an issue.
• 37:51
  People are quite willing to say things, do things that have that
• 37:55
  are just, they're ridiculous and they don't feel any remorse or
• 37:59
  accountability for it. It's a shame.
• 38:01
  It's, it's something that's really needs to be.
• 38:03
  Yeah. I think I agree with you.
• 38:05
  And one of the things that really shook me to the core, I
• 38:10
  guess, is the only way to say it was a book that I read that was
• 38:13
  called. So you're being publicly
• 38:15
  humiliated or publicly shamed. Yeah.
• 38:18
  And it's all about examples of where people have had a pylon
• 38:26
  from an innocent comment, sure, that's been taken the wrong way,
• 38:28
  and then suddenly there's millions of people that have
• 38:30
  piled on. How?
• 38:31
  Relevant. Exactly.
• 38:33
  Right. And one of the biggest ones for
• 38:36
  me was watching Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk and listening to her
• 38:41
  talk about being a 22 year old girl.
• 38:43
  That's right, Who made a mistake.
• 38:45
  Yeah. And she was really mistakes.
• 38:49
  Right, I on this one, I, I mean, I really feel like no, you know
• 38:52
  what she it was position of power.
• 38:54
  He abused it. I'll tell you that's how it is.
• 38:56
  Right she she describes it as I was a 22 year old and I made a
• 39:00
  mistake. Yeah, and she was publicly
• 39:02
  shamed. She was the.
• 39:03
  First example of viral online. Yeah, right.
• 39:07
  Yeah, yeah. Even though it was via e-mail.
• 39:09
  Yeah, it was. And I highly recommend watching
• 39:14
  this because it really made me, really pulled me up short.
• 39:18
  And I thought, you know, the things that I did with sharing
• 39:22
  an e-mail here or there or. And you think it's innocent.
• 39:24
  You just think, oh, it's a bit of a joke, but actually there's
• 39:26
  a human being on the other end of that.
• 39:28
  Yeah. We don't know the story.
• 39:29
  We we know this much of it. Yeah.
• 39:32
  And it's not funny. It's not a joke.
• 39:34
  Yeah. She's a 22 year old who almost
• 39:36
  lost her life because of it. And you've got to think about
• 39:38
  the strength of the human being who's at the other end, right?
• 39:40
  Yeah. So sorry to make this about me,
• 39:42
  OK. But I'm currently being attacked
• 39:44
  social on social media in a very, very nasty way.
• 39:47
  Yeah. By a complete lie like this is,
• 39:51
  yeah, zero evidence, right? Yeah.
• 39:53
  So just something someone created because this person
• 39:55
  wants to hurt my reputation. Yeah.
• 39:57
  Now, my attitude could be, and I mean, I'm in different parts of
• 40:00
  my life now. If I was in a more vulnerable
• 40:03
  situation, that could be extremely a massive problem and
• 40:05
  hurtful. I think it's worrying the people
• 40:08
  that love you more than it is. And it is because it's not
• 40:11
  worrying me because I look and I look at I look at weak people
• 40:15
  who doing destructive things because it's a problem with
• 40:18
  them, not with me, right. And you've, you've talked about
• 40:20
  the mirror before. It's a reflection of them.
• 40:22
  But in the case of Monica Lewinsky and so many other
• 40:24
  people in life, I think, you know, that was a case of I, I
• 40:27
  really genuinely feel for her because in that position, what
• 40:31
  options did she have? No.
• 40:34
  And she's become a meme for the rest of her life now for me,
• 40:36
  water for ducks back. OK, this is not my first rodeo.
• 40:39
  It's. Actually, it's actually quite
• 40:41
  serious, though just to put it into.
• 40:42
  Perspective. What's what's going on?
• 40:44
  It's very serious. But you are but you, but you are
• 40:46
  allowing you feel that inner and this is the thing that I, I love
• 40:51
  about it, that you feel that inner complete freedom of just
• 40:57
  knowing who you are and you know, and and then it becomes
• 41:02
  something reflective on the people that are doing that.
• 41:06
  But I I want to go to the question I was going to say.
• 41:09
  When I go back to Julie. Yeah.
• 41:11
  I wanted to ask you because I spoke, I had the pleasure of
• 41:14
  speaking to you backstage this morning, and you said that there
• 41:19
  was a very powerful question. And I kind of feel that that's
• 41:23
  going to be very fitting for this, that question that people
• 41:29
  queue up that could change a person's life that.
• 41:33
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 41:33
  So, so Julie, I, I, I want to sort of answer your question as
• 41:37
  part of this. One of the things you said was
• 41:40
  you feel like you don't get things done because you're
• 41:43
  worried about the people pleasing and and being judged.
• 41:46
  I would say have a look at the things that you want to get done
• 41:49
  and instead of worrying about whether or not you're going to
• 41:52
  get judged, first ask the question, you know, are they
• 41:56
  things that you really want to do and are they things that are
• 41:58
  really aligned with who you are and what you value?
• 42:01
  That's the first question. And then secondly, the question
• 42:04
  we were talking about earlier, we're talking about that
• 42:06
  autopilot in life where you just hurtle down this pathway because
• 42:10
  you're ticking boxes and you're doing all the things you're
• 42:12
  supposed to and being in the places and talking to the people
• 42:15
  and knowing the right, the right things, the right, you know,
• 42:17
  solutions and all that sort of stuff.
• 42:19
  And you end up down this pathway right down here, right?
• 42:21
  And you get there suddenly and you just how did I get here?
• 42:26
  And and this is supposed to be it.
• 42:29
  The great pathway to procrastination.
• 42:31
  This is supposed to be it down here.
• 42:33
  You're. Ready for You're getting ready
• 42:34
  for the drum roll. This is leading up to the Yeah.
• 42:37
  It's like I'm all the way down this pathway.
• 42:38
  I've done everything that I was supposed to do.
• 42:41
  Oh yeah. And now I'm here.
• 42:43
  I'm like, did I get this wrong? Is this it like this I, I've,
• 42:48
  I've got no confidence. I, I don't know where I am.
• 42:50
  I don't know what I'm doing. I've got this facade that I have
• 42:52
  to hold up and it's all this energy, right?
• 42:55
  And instead of asking the questions that help you to get
• 42:58
  to where you're supposed to be, we ask somebody else, what do I
• 43:02
  do now? And then they go, oh, you should
• 43:05
  do this and you should do that. You should.
• 43:06
  And so we go, OK, that's what I have to do to fix myself.
• 43:08
  And then you end up down that pathway and you're in the same
• 43:12
  position again, going, what did I do wrong?
• 43:15
  But if you ask the question. Drum roll.
• 43:19
  What if they're wrong? There it is, right if you ask
• 43:23
  that. Question 4 words Yes, 4 words
• 43:25
  What if? They're wrong.
• 43:28
  If, what if somebody's standing in front of you is saying,
• 43:32
  Aaron, to get yourself out of this situation, you have to do
• 43:35
  this or you should do that, or you need right.
• 43:39
  If you hear anybody ask a question that has those sorts of
• 43:42
  words in it, immediately teach yourself what if they're wrong?
• 43:47
  Because it stops you from doing the autopilot thing.
• 43:49
  It stops you running and handling down tracks that aren't
• 43:52
  right for you. It gives you that conscious
• 43:54
  connection with yourself and you then can go, what do I need
• 43:58
  right now? What is actually right for me?
• 44:00
  You can work out where you're at, and you can work out your
• 44:04
  next step to move forward. Nobody knows you like you.
• 44:07
  Correct. Yes, and.
• 44:09
  Even if you've lost yourself. Do you think you can ask the
• 44:11
  question too? You know how people get lost in
• 44:13
  their head? Can you ask that question only?
• 44:16
  What if I'm wrong? You know how sometimes you can
• 44:19
  make things up and think that there's something?
• 44:23
  Yeah, no, I would say what if that's wrong?
• 44:25
  What if that's? Wrong.
• 44:26
  What if that's wrong? Because sometimes we tell
• 44:29
  ourselves lies, right, don't you reckon?
• 44:31
  I don't think we tell ourselves lies.
• 44:32
  I think our subconscious has a little Chitty chat and tries to
• 44:35
  keep us safe, right? But I don't think we lie to
• 44:38
  ourselves. I think that our subconscious is
• 44:41
  just going to just just stay there because if you're there, I
• 44:44
  can look after you, right? Whereas we then go, thank you so
• 44:47
  much for thank you so much for helping me.
• 44:50
  I really appreciate the role that you play in my life.
• 44:53
  But actually, this is my picture.
• 44:55
  This is where I'm going. And my first step to get there I
• 44:58
  want to take is this. I want to try that.
• 45:00
  I often say to people, we're talking about the news and all
• 45:03
  that kind of current. Use your grey matter, OK?
• 45:06
  Yeah, use it. It's there for a reason.
• 45:09
  Take information from here. Take information from there.
• 45:11
  Take your shop for your news if you like.
• 45:14
  And guess what? Use the grey stuff to make that
• 45:16
  decision for yourself, because ultimately, yourself.
• 45:20
  Why don't we back ourselves? Why do we always want somebody
• 45:23
  to give, you know, their approval of what we're gonna go,
• 45:26
  you know, and and do. And this goes for the Julie.
• 45:28
  Back yourself. This is my advice, probably
• 45:33
  good. It is good.
• 45:34
  If you can't back yourself, then you know well.
• 45:36
  It comes there too. It's.
• 45:37
  Not always easy when you're so far down that pathway there
• 45:39
  right back yourself. Sounds like a really bold,
• 45:43
  strong, let's go do this rah rah.
• 45:46
  You know, whereas that's not necessarily going to actually
• 45:49
  inspire someone who's so far down that track they feel like
• 45:52
  they're completely lost. Yeah.
• 45:54
  Really it's about what's one step that can take me in a
• 45:57
  direction that's going to do something for me and that how am
• 46:00
  I going to support me? And this is where that busyness
• 46:03
  list comes in that we was talking about the first time,
• 46:05
  right? Yeah.
• 46:05
  Because if you can start to back out of some of the things you
• 46:08
  really hate and that are really draining your energy, then
• 46:11
  you've got an opportunity to say what's something I'd really love
• 46:14
  to do. And do I want to do that instead
• 46:17
  of this? Or do I want to just free up
• 46:19
  space and give myself room to breathe and not actually replace
• 46:24
  that thing that I've just got rid of that I'm not going to do
• 46:26
  anymore. Because I think we need to get
• 46:28
  out of the busyness. And so sometimes just taking
• 46:32
  that thing off the overload list gives us a little bit more
• 46:35
  space. And I think we need to, somebody
• 46:38
  explained it to me the other day.
• 46:39
  We need to get comfortable with doing nothing.
• 46:43
  And I thought that's great. Well, is it?
• 46:45
  Comfortable. Nothing's not necessarily
• 46:47
  sitting in silence looking at your eyeballs, OK?
• 46:50
  Nothing is that kind of sit on the couch and binge watch
• 46:54
  something or, you know, read a book or it's the nothing.
• 46:58
  Get on the grass. Still on the grass.
• 47:00
  Look at the sky, Watch the cloud.
• 47:02
  Yeah, yeah. You know I love.
• 47:03
  It I think we're gonna have to do another show we.
• 47:05
  Absolutely have to. I've looked at the time, we are
• 47:07
  so naughty. We are so.
• 47:09
  Say right now, but and probably would you come back 'cause I
• 47:11
  think that you offer so much and I've really, I've really enjoyed
• 47:14
  our our conversation. Sure.
• 47:15
  Yeah, I would be happy to. I don't believe her the way she
• 47:19
  said that. Well, I'm not convinced.
• 47:21
  I think, yeah, what if that's wrong?
• 47:24
  If that's wrong. That's wrong.
• 47:26
  Back yourself, no. And on that bombshell?
• 47:30
  Any last thoughts there, Terry? I just want to ask you anything
• 47:33
  you'd want to reiterate before we close.
• 47:36
  I think one of the most important things that we can
• 47:39
  think about is that every day is made-up of hundreds of choices.
• 47:44
  We need to get conscious about our choices because choices
• 47:47
  direct our life. Yeah.
• 47:49
  And I think it's really important to understand that
• 47:52
  doing nothing is still a choice. So if you go, if there's a
• 47:56
  choice to be made, then let's make the choices that really
• 47:59
  support us and fill our life with kindness.
• 48:02
  Yeah, Gentleness and a softer way forward.
• 48:05
  Beautiful, I like it. And with that we have hit the
• 48:08
  end of the show. Thank you very much for being
• 48:10
  part of the Genius Zone here on Edge Radio Australia.
• 48:23
  Show where we have explored through this various topic along
• 48:29
  with all the exciting new topics that we bring every week to
• 48:35
  enhance your personal mastery of excellence.
• 48:40
  Now, I'd love you to do me a favour, in fact be part of the
• 48:44
  legacy 1,000,000 that I have in the vision for 2028.
• 48:51
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• 48:57
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• 49:24
  you another week of the most enriching content.
• 49:29
  So until next time, stay inspired, stay awesome, and keep
• 49:34
  on mastering your excellence.