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BASIC BLAQUE AFTER DARK live every 1ST & 3RD FRIDAY 6-6-25 · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, May I have your attention please? The
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: show starts in ten line eight, seven, six, five, four
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: three two one.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, it's your girl, Black Diamond, and you're tuned
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: in and you're tuned into Basic Black after Dark, the
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: show that meets you where you are and gives you
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: what you ask for. But tonight we're gonna give you
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: a little bit more. We're diving deep into stories that
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: echo with pain, healing, and the pursuit of love. I
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: am honored to welcome to incredible women who have turned
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  Speaker 2: their personal truths into powerful written testimonients. Joining us are
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  Speaker 2: Tonight's powerful voices and storytelling Mss Farren maclamore. She's the
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: author of the Voice of a Mother's Pain. That book
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: delivers a raw and unflinching journey through maternal grief, resilience,
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  Speaker 2: and healing. We're also honor to welcome none other than
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Natalie Murphy. She is the author of To Be Loved
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: By Blue. Now see, if black wasn't my favorite color,
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I would turn the blue, a beautifully lyrical exploration of longing,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: self discovery and unexpected places we loved chooses to find us.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: So get ready, hold on to your seats, get some
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: tissue if you need it. This is not just a conversation,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: this is soul. So please welcome Farren and Natalie to
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Basic Black after Dark.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Thank you, hello, thank you so much for having us.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Absolutely wow, your books, the names, the titles, it's just
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: it's just chilling to me, period, it really is.
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  Speaker 4: So we're gonna stir things up a little bit here.
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  Speaker 2: So Farren, I want to ask this question, because the
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: mother's Voice, the voice of a mother's pain. What stirred
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: your soul to write the Voice of a Mother's Pain?
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: You know what?
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  Speaker 6: First, again, thank you so much for having me. It's
• 3:08
  Speaker 6: always a pleasure to you know, just be you know,
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  Speaker 6: on your show, and just to be able to share
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  Speaker 6: this this platform with you.
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  Speaker 3: So thank you.
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  Speaker 6: Also, just a huge shout out to doctor Carolyn Stevens
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: and the b HC Media who will help me put
• 3:24
  Speaker 6: this whole thing together, who helped bring this whole vision
• 3:27
  Speaker 6: to life. I have to thank her for that and
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: these incredible women. So the Voice of a Mother's Pain,
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  Speaker 6: five incredible women, including myself. We are raising children with
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  Speaker 6: disabilities or special needs. So this book deeply it was
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  Speaker 6: born from my own experience of my daughter being born
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  Speaker 6: with a rare condition called incontinentity of pigmente also known
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  Speaker 6: as IP, being a first time mother to this unknown
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  Speaker 6: and navigate anting that pain, that fear in the unknown.
• 4:04
  Speaker 6: There were times where I felt voiceless during one of
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  Speaker 6: the most traumatic times in my life, so watching my
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  Speaker 6: daughter fight for her life and also facing my own
• 4:16
  Speaker 6: medical crisis, which you got to get the book to
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: see what I went through. But I knew I wasn't
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  Speaker 6: alone in it. So so many mothers carry silent pain,
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  Speaker 6: and I wanted to give a voice not only to
• 4:30
  Speaker 6: my own story, but I wanted to also give a
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  Speaker 6: voice to every woman who has ever endured grief, guilt,
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: or worry in silence.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: So this story was rooted in your own lived.
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  Speaker 2: Experiences, the voices of other women, and a combination well
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: basically a combination of both. Yes, what was it like
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: trying to pull everybody together? Because when you're talking about
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: pain of a child, especially in your own child, how
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: what was that like approaching other women and acting them
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: to write about their lived experience?
• 5:05
  Speaker 6: You know what? It went smoother than I thought. Actually
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: I know one of them, but the others. It was
• 5:14
  Speaker 6: just reaching out just to see who would be willing
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  Speaker 6: to share their journey. You have to think about it.
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  Speaker 6: This is a traumatic experience for most of us, so
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  Speaker 6: to rewrite about it, to relive it.
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  Speaker 3: I know that even though we're currently living.
• 5:30
  Speaker 6: It, it was traumatic to revisit just all of what
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: our child went through. And actually it was pretty smooth.
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  Speaker 6: I introduced myself to these incredible women and we bonded.
• 5:43
  Speaker 6: We were able to bond, you know, on It was
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  Speaker 6: such a connection because we understood what it was like to,
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  Speaker 6: you know, raise these children with this disability. I tell
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  Speaker 6: people all the time, I can connect with you because
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: you have children, but it's a different connection when you're
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: raising a child with a disability, because it's just a
• 6:05
  Speaker 6: whole nother ballpark, and especially if you're a first time mother,
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  Speaker 6: there's no rule of to parenting, so you are literally figuring.
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  Speaker 3: This out and so connecting with each of them.
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  Speaker 6: We all shared our stories together, some of us even
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  Speaker 6: cry together, just being finding that community of people who understand, right,
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  Speaker 6: and that was the biggest thing, is having someone who
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  Speaker 6: understands that you can go to and no longer have
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  Speaker 6: to suffer in silence.
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  Speaker 2: Well that I'm so happy that you guys have each
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  Speaker 2: other to support one another through this journey, and I'm
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: hoping that. I'm not sure that other young ladies, but
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I'm hoping that they find a cure for everything. I
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  Speaker 2: hate to hear that any child is sick, and really
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: bothers me because I like for them to run and
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: play and do everything else. And they may be able
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: to do that, but then there's some limitations with them.
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  Speaker 4: Maybe they get exhausted a little bit more. It's just
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  Speaker 4: a little bit too much on them, So that bothers me.
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  Speaker 2: But you're doing a wonderful job with raising your daughter,
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  Speaker 2: and I see her with you all the time, and
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  Speaker 2: she's a beautiful child, and you have a beautiful family.
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  Speaker 2: I've seen them to be loved by Blue. Yes, such
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: a poetic and powerful title. Can you share what blue
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: symbolizes in your story?
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  Speaker 5: In my story, blue symbolizes police officers. So the main
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  Speaker 5: character Antoinette Tony Kennedy has had such disappointment when it
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  Speaker 5: comes to the man in blue, her uncle, her dad,
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  Speaker 5: and one of her male interests, and they've all in
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  Speaker 5: some way heard her or disappointed her, and so she
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  Speaker 5: tends to have this thing to lean toward men in blue,
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  Speaker 5: and she ends up meeting Darius, who's a cop. And
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  Speaker 5: Darius is everything she doesn't want. He's an itch shorter
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  Speaker 5: than she is. She likes the more brown skin brother.
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  Speaker 5: Oh no, that's supposed to be funny.
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  Speaker 2: That's what I'm in to. Not's why I laugh. I
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  Speaker 2: thought I was the only person in the world that
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  Speaker 2: would say something like that.
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  Speaker 4: But no, I will, I will not. I just can't
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  Speaker 4: do it. I'm sorry. I don't know what it is.
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  Speaker 4: I praise.
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  Speaker 5: Everybody has their preference, and hers was is a man
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  Speaker 5: over six feet, brown skin. Darius is light skin. He's
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  Speaker 5: shorter than her, and he's a cop, and he's got
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  Speaker 5: all kinds of corny pickup lines.
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  Speaker 7: But that's what that's.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it reminds me of you, like, GiB what's your sign?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Meeting him at the club, I'm gonna score you.
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  Speaker 7: So his very first line is.
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  Speaker 5: He tells her, that's the very same face I see
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  Speaker 5: in my dreams every night.
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  Speaker 7: I just need the name to go with it.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, he's one for the books. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: he is one for the girls. I don't blame you, girl,
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I don't.
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  Speaker 4: I don't. That's why he's probably alone.
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  Speaker 2: He got the same line, probably worry, but she she
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  Speaker 2: rejects him.
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  Speaker 4: So he goes over there and he says the same
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  Speaker 4: thing as somebody. Yeah, Now this is the book.
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  Speaker 2: And we're sitting there cracking up, laughing because we've seen
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: that happen.
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  Speaker 5: Absolutely, that is in real life.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know it.
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  Speaker 2: What deeper meaning does it hold for the character and
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: for you personally? Because you say it's a real life thing.
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  Speaker 2: Is these characters somebody you actually know?
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  Speaker 5: They actually are not? But now here's a really cool thing.
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  Speaker 5: So you see the picture of Darius behind me. My
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  Speaker 5: husband and I were in Chipotle in Maddison, Illinois, and
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  Speaker 5: my husband says, hey, look over there. That cop looks
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  Speaker 5: like Darius. I'm like, no, get out of here. And
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  Speaker 5: I look over and he does, and he goes, come on,
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  Speaker 5: let's go tell him school. I'm like, I'm not hearing
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  Speaker 5: to go tell him.
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  Speaker 7: He looks like some made up character.
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  Speaker 5: With my husband, being as bold as he is, went
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  Speaker 5: right over to him, told the guy, you know what,
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  Speaker 5: you look like one of her she writes for Romance.
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  Speaker 7: You look like one of her characters. And he was
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  Speaker 7: like is that right?
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  Speaker 5: So so since he's there, I'm like okay. So I
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  Speaker 5: showed him the picture the cover of the book, and
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  Speaker 5: he goes, will.
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  Speaker 7: You look at that?
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  Speaker 5: He said, And he has an arm sleeve like me too.
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  Speaker 5: They had the exact same arms. It was the weirdest
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: thing to see one of my characters in real life.
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  Speaker 5: And even he said, oh, yeah, he looks like me.
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  Speaker 7: So but a better line.
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  Speaker 2: I truly hope he picks up a better line than
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  Speaker 2: this characteristic line is going to take you.
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  Speaker 7: Absolutely, no, Oh there he's there. Author the book. They're
• 11:24
  Speaker 7: author the book.
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  Speaker 4: I gotta get this book.
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  Speaker 7: But Tony loves it.
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  Speaker 4: I want to take a shout out to Todd. Hey
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  Speaker 4: d D thank you so much.
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  Speaker 2: I just imagine look, he said, he seemed like he's
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  Speaker 2: a card that both.
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  Speaker 4: Arthur Farren Maclamore is an amazing woman.
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  Speaker 2: I ad my your strength and determination and the love
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  Speaker 2: you have for your baby, so sweet, such.
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  Speaker 4: A sweethearts, such a sweetheart.
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  Speaker 5: And that is so true. So you definitely the fans
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  Speaker 5: love for her babies.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, So, how do how did you sum We're gonna
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: have to try to pull it together because these blue
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  Speaker 2: things just got me.
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  Speaker 4: How did you summon the strength to pour such to
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  Speaker 4: pour such raw, unfiltered emotion into the voice of a
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  Speaker 4: mother's pain. I'm emver read that.
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  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say that again. How did you summon the strength? See,
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  Speaker 2: I'm sad you separate altogether?
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  Speaker 8: How did you, oh, how did you summon the strength
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  Speaker 8: to pource such raw, unfiltered emotion into the voice of
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  Speaker 8: a mother's pain.
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  Speaker 2: In other words, what pushed you to speak your truth
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  Speaker 2: so boldly on the page? Now we understand that it
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: came through something unfortunate, which was, you know, the illness
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  Speaker 2: of your daughter.
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  Speaker 4: But you were old when you wrote some of this stuff.
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  Speaker 4: So what pushed you to speak some both?
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: You know what?
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  Speaker 6: My strength came from my daughter Kamaya till this day.
• 13:08
  Speaker 6: You know, she doesn't really understand what's going on, but
• 13:11
  Speaker 6: I still watch her push through. Her resilience gave me
• 13:17
  Speaker 6: the courage to comfort my own pain head on, to
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  Speaker 6: confront my own pain head on, Because if you look
• 13:25
  Speaker 6: at this little girl, you know she's going through all
• 13:28
  Speaker 6: these you know, tests and all these all this pain,
• 13:32
  Speaker 6: not knowing what's going on. But yet she keeps going,
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: she keeps going. So writing, of course is never easy.
• 13:40
  Speaker 6: But every tear that I shed as I type. This
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: story was a part of my healing because my passion
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  Speaker 6: is to uplift and inspire and encourage others, and I
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  Speaker 6: always ask God.
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  Speaker 3: How can I do that?
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  Speaker 6: Never knewing it was gonna be with my daughter, never
• 14:00
  Speaker 6: knew that it was going to be my own, you know,
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: life's own, real life experiences. So I reminded myself to
• 14:08
  Speaker 6: be honest about my emotions that it could give someone
• 14:12
  Speaker 6: else freedom to acknowledge their own. So this book, I
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: hope that this book will give other mothers permission to
• 14:21
  Speaker 6: share their own stories because having raising a child with disability,
• 14:27
  Speaker 6: sometimes you feel isolating because the looks, the stairs, the
• 14:32
  Speaker 6: unsolicited advice. You know, there's so much that comes with it.
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: And I experienced that. You know, people would stare because
• 14:39
  Speaker 6: in continuity of pigmenty is a skin condition. It's primarily
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: a skin condition, however, it affects your central nervous system,
• 14:47
  Speaker 6: your your way your hair grows, alopecia, the way your eyes.
• 14:52
  Speaker 6: It goes, Yeah, it goes deeper, and it depends on
• 14:56
  Speaker 6: your symptoms. Their mild to severe. So my daughter she
• 14:59
  Speaker 6: had severe. Yes, So the skin condition so it's it's
• 15:04
  Speaker 6: newborn three six nine twelve and she's ten today and
• 15:11
  Speaker 6: so they're like.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: So literally she they're like war like bumps is what
• 15:21
  Speaker 6: they come and go. And so even today just you know,
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: often examining her body because it changes, right, this is
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: something that she'll live with for the rest of her life,
• 15:31
  Speaker 6: so everything changes, so we closely monitor just you know,
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: as you know, she's getting ready to hit puberty. You know,
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: we have to understand what that looks like for her.
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: So it's so much into it that we have to
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: you know, focus on and we have to prepare for
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: still the unknown, right, but still just making sure she
• 15:52
  Speaker 6: has you know, the most the support down the line
• 15:56
  Speaker 6: with her dermatologists, you know, I doctor, everything we have
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: line up, so we have a pretty good support system
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: for her, just to keep you know, make sure everything
• 16:05
  Speaker 6: is squared away. She's actually getting ready for an EEG
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: next week because she has seizures. That's another side effect
• 16:13
  Speaker 6: of the condition, So we get a yearly EEG and
• 16:18
  Speaker 6: that's just gonna tell us, you know, what her brain
• 16:21
  Speaker 6: is doing, because she is on a seizure medicine. So
• 16:25
  Speaker 6: it's never easy, right, I know, people may look at
• 16:28
  Speaker 6: me and be like, girl, how did you how are you,
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: you know, getting through it. But it's the fact that
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: I can share the story. It's the fact that I
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: can inspire somebody else to keep going and that there
• 16:39
  Speaker 6: is light at the end of the tunnel even on
• 16:41
  Speaker 6: the darkest days. Now you have someone, you have this
• 16:45
  Speaker 6: book that can also help and walk you through it.
• 16:48
  Speaker 6: And then you have me personally, you know, you can,
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: you know, lean on because now I'm able to share
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: as well as encourage, as well as uplift.
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  Speaker 3: But the biggest thing is my daughter. You know.
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: I feed off of her strength and her resilience and
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: just her courage to keep going.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she just wants to play and just think everybody
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: else's child And m hm. You know, I don't like
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: when you hear or even if you see someone who
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: looks a little different than you do that the stairs
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: coming then, especially from adults.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: You know, you think that they would know better.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: But it, honestly, and that's what it was.
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: It was adults just staring and I just got to
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: the point where I would prefer you ask, right. I
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: would love for you to just say, hey, you know,
• 17:40
  Speaker 6: it's something I've never seen, or a lot of people
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: would ask me if it was ezma, which she did
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: have a case of exzma before. But these literally are
• 17:49
  Speaker 6: like sores, like they could be very sore. And like
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: I said, they happened earlier stages, so they're not the same.
• 17:56
  Speaker 6: But if you, you know, seeing her, you can see
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: the swirl like past just like in her face, some
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: on her arms, so you can it's very noticeable. But
• 18:05
  Speaker 6: for someone who don't know, just ask. I would happily
• 18:09
  Speaker 6: explain it to you because I know that it is
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: such a rare condition, which is the whole purpose of
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: you know, writing my first children's books, shining through my
• 18:18
  Speaker 6: journey with the Continentity your Pigment Tee, to bring awareness
• 18:21
  Speaker 6: to that because it's so rare, and the voice of
• 18:24
  Speaker 6: a brother pain just takes you a little bit deeper.
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: It's just to my journey because it was a lot. Yeah,
• 18:33
  Speaker 6: it was a lot more than.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: So what emotional journey do you hope reader's experienced through
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: the eyes of your protagonists and to be loved by.
• 18:43
  Speaker 7: Blue The ride that the ride that my readers are
• 18:50
  Speaker 7: going to take with my characters.
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: Is going to be a bumpy one because it starts
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: out say it again, I said, hold on to your seats.
• 19:02
  Speaker 7: Right exactly, because it starts out with Tony.
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: Fighting Darius and Darius, who's again mister Corny Lines, is
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: not looking for a real relationship, so they're looking to
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: just have fun. They looking for a hook up for
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: the night, maybe a couple of knights, and then they're
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: gonna do their thing. But they find out that they
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: actually are attracted to each other. So in that attraction
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: there's a push and pull Tony's Tony's really struggling with
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: letting her heart go, and Darius has gotten to the
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: point where, you know what I want her, I'm going
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: after her. She's going to be mine, and then they
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: when Tony finally realizes that she can't escape it, well,
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: then some things happen and she's gotta she's got to
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: find out.
• 19:52
  Speaker 7: If she can make things work between she and Darius.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: So there's some emotional highs and loads and truths that
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: will confront them.
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: Yes, she's got family drama that's gonna be that's gonna
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: come about. Darius has three two brothers that are gonna
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: come into the picture. So there's there's a lot of
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: family stuff going on as well as some girlfriend stuff
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: going on. Because Tony has two best friends, and I
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: love a good girlfriend's story, So all my romances are
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: always gonna have some element that element.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Tyler Perry movies. That's what it sounds like.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: It's like one of those Tyler Perry movies that you're
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: gonna be coming back to. Yeah, it does, you know
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: you're hearing it. Then when you talk about the family
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: that's involved.
• 20:37
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Tony's family is interesting one.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I can imagine. I can't and we need to get
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: that book either.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: So when you talk about the voices of a mother's pain,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I imagined it had to be difficult. What was the
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: most difficult chapter for you to write and why?
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: So I would have to say the chapter where m
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: I had to recount our time in the nick you
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: and my own hospitalization was the hardest because when I
• 21:08
  Speaker 6: was hospitalized, that separated me from her, and even though
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: it was just three days, that was the longest three
• 21:14
  Speaker 6: days of my life, because I, you know, because when
• 21:20
  Speaker 6: you're you know, I didn't, I didn't think about my
• 21:23
  Speaker 6: own recovery. I had emergency C section with her, and
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: I never once thought you need to sit down and
• 21:31
  Speaker 6: heal like you also had your own major surgery. Because
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: I literally just wanted her to be okay, and even
• 21:38
  Speaker 6: though I was physically weak, I was emotionally shattered and
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: I was even spiritually questioned everything. So yeah, yeah, but
• 21:54
  Speaker 6: for me, you know, so relive in that trauma, it
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: brought a wave of grief that I thought I had
• 22:01
  Speaker 6: buried because you know, like I said, she said, now,
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: so I thought you know, I had got you know,
• 22:07
  Speaker 6: pretty I thought I was pretty healed from you know,
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: that traumatic experience. But it also reminded me how far
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: I had come, so even reliving it and you know,
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: just to step back and to share that emotional story.
• 22:24
  Speaker 6: You know, every year, you know, on her birthday, I
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: go back and I look at those pictures because it
• 22:31
  Speaker 6: shows me how far she's come. So even you know,
• 22:35
  Speaker 6: each grade that she go to, each thing is celebrated
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: because it's so much that comes with this condition. It's
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: literally we celebrate everything on how far she's come, because
• 22:47
  Speaker 6: everything is such a celebration, you know, with it. But
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: the biggest thing was the nick you experience because she
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: was born in May and we didn't get home till July.
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: Oh wow, we literally.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: And she definitely needs to be celebrated, But more than that,
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: you and your husband need to be celebrated, to be
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: able to go through this journey and still hold it together,
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: and to keep it together, yes, because something like this
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: could have broken you. It could have, and it did not.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: It just seemed like it strengthened you.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: You know what.
• 23:24
  Speaker 6: In the book, you'll see that there were times where
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: it literally had to be a shift right in your mindset.
• 23:35
  Speaker 6: You have to shift your mind and in prayer is
• 23:39
  Speaker 6: what helped me through it. I literally began to thank
• 23:42
  Speaker 6: God for the good news because I needed to speak it.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: I needed to I needed to speak. I need to
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: start speaking it.
• 23:49
  Speaker 6: Even though I was getting these results and these you know,
• 23:52
  Speaker 6: the test results and stuff, I knew that God had
• 23:55
  Speaker 6: the final say, and I knew that the doctors had
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: a job to do. And it was because I would
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: be angry at them. I was angry, like why you
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: keep coming here and giving me these bad results about
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: my baby? But I knew that they had a job
• 24:08
  Speaker 6: to do. But ultimately I knew that God had the
• 24:11
  Speaker 6: final say, and so I began to I heard what
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: they did. But then I ended up, you know, going
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: back to pray, and I thank God for good news
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: every day.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: That was my prayer.
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: I thank you for good news today, and I thank
• 24:25
  Speaker 6: you for good news tomorrow and the day after that.
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: And as soon as that shifted, literally the good news
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: began to come, began to come, and I began to
• 24:36
  Speaker 6: see the light at the end of the tunnel because
• 24:38
  Speaker 6: I knew that it.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Was you were his You were God's job, and I
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: feel that way because He needed to find somebody to
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: do that job. So your daughter of being born with that,
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: he needed to find the right person to be able
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: to go through that journey because you're bringing.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: Life to it.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Had it may have been another mother, and unfortunately it
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: probably is. She's dealing with it silently, not bringing it
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: to the forefront. So yes, yes, yes, thank God for that,
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: because she's going to continue to use you in order
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: for you to get this message across and hopefully that
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: somebody will say, I'm going to go and try to
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: figure out how can I help cure this? So how
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: do you hope the voice of a mother's pain will
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: speak to mothers who will silently suffer?
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: You know what? For me.
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: Again, I just hope it gives that permission, right, I
• 25:40
  Speaker 6: hope that they see, Okay, she put her whole personal
• 25:44
  Speaker 6: personal story in this book, and she was she opened
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: up without you know, turning that pain into purpose. So
• 25:53
  Speaker 6: I hope that every mother who hears this, I hope
• 25:56
  Speaker 6: that they know that they're not alone and the whole
• 26:00
  Speaker 6: that they know that their silence doesn't make them strong,
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: it makes them isolated. And I hope that they know
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: that there's power and vulnerability and healing and honesty. So
• 26:14
  Speaker 6: whenever they are ready, I hope that their voice finds them.
• 26:18
  Speaker 6: Until then, though, I hope that this book is just
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: a reminder that they're not alone. And then when the
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: time is right, I just hope that they do let
• 26:27
  Speaker 6: their voice be heard so they can't start the healing process.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: And I hope that they're listening now and understanding that
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: they're not alone.
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: Natalie, Yes, we're going to go a little deeper.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Okay, how did.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Your own personal understanding of love shape The Way to
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Be Loved by You was written?
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: My own personal understanding of love for this book is
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: that love is messy. Love takes courage, it takes strength,
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: it takes determination, but in the end, if you hang
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: in there, it can work. And that's what happened with
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: Tony and Darius. Because love is messing. We know that
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: when we're in our relationships, we know everything is not
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: smooth sailing.
• 27:18
  Speaker 7: We probably didn't. I'll be honest with you.
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: I didn't even like my husband when I first met him,
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: kind of like Tony feels about Darius.
• 27:27
  Speaker 7: I didn't like him.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: And what base did your lived experience influence how love
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: is given?
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: You see or was held in this sort because you
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: would have loved to be And I don't know where
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: they were in the bar where they were at, but
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: I know if I.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Was sitting there and he read that line, anything I
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: was drinking would have been in the back of his
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: head because it was just no way and this day
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: and age that a man is gonna.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: Approach a woman with that corny line.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: You know what, It's all kind of special people in
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: the world. I believe there's a Daiius out there. I
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: really do.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: There's a there's a couple of them out there, absolutely absolutely.
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: But when you get when you get past all of
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: the corniness, then you you get to meet the real person.
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: And that's what Tony did. She she finally opened up
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: to meet the real Dairyus.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: I'm good for her because I.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Couldn't have got passed that line and that that would
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: have been enough for me, and I just I would
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: have been just bringing me that line would have annoyed me,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: and it really really would have. I would have looked,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I would have had to look at him, and I
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: would have had to say something like it probably would
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: have been rude.
• 28:44
  Speaker 7: She was rude, she responded, yeah, she she came back.
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: She go, there you go.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: So I'm not seeing we might have a lot in common.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: I'm liking already. I'm liking already. So what So what's
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: to be loved by blue? One from a specific relationship
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: or deep the personal experience in your life.
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: Not really, I like to look around. Okay, So there
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: are a couple of things. One, I just take my
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: inspiration from life. The primary I won't say primary, but
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: part of the inspiration for writing a story about a
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: cop is my favorite uncle was a cop and he
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: passed away recently. So this was kind of my tribute
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: to him, to write a story about a cop.
• 29:31
  Speaker 7: But this is not his story.
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: This is just like I said, I had an idea
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: to write about a cop and this was it. And
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: I liked the play on the word to be loved
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: by blue? Because a lot of people ask that question.
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: So what what does blue represent?
• 29:46
  Speaker 7: How? The police a part in the title. So yeah,
• 29:50
  Speaker 7: so that's about.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: It now and before I just didn't understand it.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: But I'm assuming that it is with the police, because.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: That's the think blue. Yes, correct, Blue, you know if
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: my office is down or anything else?
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Right, I watch a lot of TV cop shows, so
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I learned a lot from that. I love with me now,
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Blue Bloods is it. I've learned a lot
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: from that family, even learned the way that they pray.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: So I've loved that show. People out there listening, please
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: bring it back. So what part of your own truth
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: reads We're part of your own truth breads through this story?
• 30:29
  Speaker 7: What part of my own truth just said?
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: Their relationships are hard there, they can be hard, and
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: you have to you have to persevere. If it's what
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: you want and you believe in it, and I'm very
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: much a believer in love, then you stick it out,
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: you fight it out.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So the title itself is powerful.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: When you speak of voice in the voice of a
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: mother's pain, what does that represent for you?
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: Fearing voice for me means no longer suffering in silence.
• 31:11
  Speaker 6: It means honoring the unspoken fears and the cries behind
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: closed doors, the guilt that we hide from the world,
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: and and giving my pain a voice transformed it from
• 31:28
  Speaker 6: something that weighed me down to something that could uplift others.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: How does given pain the voice shift its power?
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I say again, how do.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: How does given a pain give How does given pain
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: a voice shift its.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: Power for me to uplift? Right?
• 31:54
  Speaker 6: I think having a voice either first of all, using it. It
• 31:59
  Speaker 6: depends on how you're gonna use your voice in the situation.
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: You know, you can let it tear you down, you
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: can let it keep you down. But for me, I
• 32:08
  Speaker 6: chose to use it as a way to uplift people
• 32:12
  Speaker 6: because again just having that inspiration to do so, especially
• 32:16
  Speaker 6: it being such a traumatizing thing right.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: This situation.
• 32:23
  Speaker 6: At the beginning, a lot of people didn't know that
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: my daughter even went through any of this, because I
• 32:30
  Speaker 6: needed to tell the right people, who one who would
• 32:34
  Speaker 6: pray for me p R A Y and not p
• 32:39
  Speaker 6: R E Y on me that I would, you know,
• 32:42
  Speaker 6: because some people, you know, you have these situations and
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: people will pray these situations on you.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: So a lot of people I didn't tell right away.
• 32:51
  Speaker 6: A lot of people didn't know she went through a
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: lot of a lot of this. They didn't know I
• 32:56
  Speaker 6: went through a lot of this until these books came out,
• 33:01
  Speaker 6: because I think it was important I shared such significant
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: information with those who I knew would support, who would
• 33:11
  Speaker 6: be willing to learn. You know of this condition, we
• 33:15
  Speaker 6: have such an incredible support system, just our family taking
• 33:20
  Speaker 6: the time to learn how to care for her and
• 33:23
  Speaker 6: not be scared of it, right because you know, children
• 33:26
  Speaker 6: with disabil especially this kind, you never know what can happen.
• 33:30
  Speaker 6: So I think the biggest thing is just making sure
• 33:33
  Speaker 6: who you shared this type of information with, that who
• 33:38
  Speaker 6: can truly help support you, and building that community because.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Other people just can't deal with it. They may think
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: that they can, but when it comes down to it,
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: they really can. So blue is often associated with sadness
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: but also surroundical. How does that duality show up in
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: your book, madamly Well.
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: It shows up becau because Tony is sad. In the
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: beginning of the book, she is sad, she's heard, she's
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: disappointed by love. She's so disappointed that she's using her
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: body too to prevent herself from falling in love. So
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: she's being promiscuous. But as the story goes on, all
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: my stories are happily ever after. So as the story
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: goes on, Tony finds her serenity and her peace in love.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: I might have to borrow Tony because Tony needs to
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: meet my character China in my book.
• 34:35
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, themo.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Would be a piece of work. Them two would be
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: a piece of work.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: If they ever ran any to each other in the
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: city or something like that, they would definitely. Man, oh man,
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: I'm listening to what you're telling me about it, and
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: I'm just thinking about China, like.
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: Oh baby, yeah, Tony's character for real.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is what I'm saying about China. She's a piece,
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: She's a piece of something.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: But I love her. I love it.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: And then let me ask the both of you, this
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: is something off to be well, your book is more
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: about something personal and real. Natalie, do you feel anything
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: for your character at all? Because I know I love
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: my character and I'm very very It just seems odd,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: but I'm very protective of her.
• 35:24
  Speaker 7: Oh no, I'm so right there with you.
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: I love my character and actually, when I'm done writing
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: a book, I miss them.
• 35:33
  Speaker 7: It's like they're real people. I miss them, especially the first,
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: my very first book. Then came you.
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I thought I was just going to
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: pass out because I couldn't be with Shannon and Zanayah
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: and Brian and Jabari anymore. So yeah, I know. I
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: love my characters like they are real people. And then
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: sometimes I'll be talking to my husband and I'll be
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: talking about my characters, and then he'll go in the
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: middle conversation, who are you talking about? Like I'm talking
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: about Tony and Darius, Like you know what I need
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: you to tell me when you talked about your character,
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: your storybook characters.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: Because it's just that you've been with them for such
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: a long time.
• 36:07
  Speaker 7: You created them, Yes.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: And you know that every thought and then there's a
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: thought that comes through your mind and then you wonder
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: should you introduce them to that?
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: And I thought that was the only person that did that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: But no, And that's like for people to kill off
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: their main characters. I could never kill my characters. And
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: one of my books, one of my characters didn't get injured,
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: and I almost cried.
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: But I can kill off my characters.
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: I have a character that I want to kill this
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: woman so bad. I really want to put my hands
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: around her neck.
• 36:43
  Speaker 7: Well, now I have characters, but not my main character.
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: I need her. I need her.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: I think she wasn't a main character, but she's becoming one,
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: and I need her to move her into the second
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: and third book of that series because she's got some
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: stuff going on that is just gonna hit people.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: It's gonna hit people, and they're gonna want They're gonna
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: hit back.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Put it that way, So, what ways has writing this
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: book served as a form of healing or therapy for you,
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: fearing or for your readers? Was that your intention from
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: the start or did the process? Was it just a
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: process for you or a process by surprise?
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: You know what?
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: I would have to say a little bit of both.
• 37:31
  Speaker 6: So for me, it became my release. So putting pain
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: into words gave me power over it. So you know,
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: you hear those things. You know, like I said, you're
• 37:43
  Speaker 6: just manifesting those things. So for readers, you know, I've
• 37:46
  Speaker 6: had women reach out and say that they felt like
• 37:49
  Speaker 6: I was telling their story, so it helped them feel
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: less alone, and then it gave them the language to
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: open up about their own struggles. So I think the
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: more and more I talk about it, Yeah, the more
• 38:04
  Speaker 6: and more I talk about it, the more and more
• 38:06
  Speaker 6: the healing comes because you again you get to you.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Measure like how far you come.
• 38:12
  Speaker 6: And then it's like a person that's usually strong for
• 38:16
  Speaker 6: other people, I can still I can still be strong
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: for other people. But now I can be strong for myself.
• 38:23
  Speaker 6: I can be strong for myself because you know, I've
• 38:27
  Speaker 6: turned what I felt like was the most trying time
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: in my life. Like literally the questions were why you know?
• 38:37
  Speaker 6: But now it's why not me?
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Right? Why not me? Even though it's it's a daily struggle.
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: And sometimes I look at her and I, you know,
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: never want to question God because I know that everything
• 38:49
  Speaker 6: has a purpose, But sometimes I look at her and
• 38:52
  Speaker 6: I often still kind of question, you know, why.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: Is this sweet, bright, bubbly girl like you know?
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: But it's her journey, and I understand that sometimes our
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: journeys are not for us. It's for those that are
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: around us.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: And so take your daughter as far as you can
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: take her, and then he's gonna say thank you, and
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: then he's gonna take her and let her be her
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: own voice because it's coming because you're teaching her. You're
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: teaching her already, she's paying attention and she's watching. She
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: may be a little girl and doing her thing, but
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: you want to take it for as far as you
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: can take her and as far as he wants you
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: to take her, because there's another assignment waiting.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: For you, but it needs for you to finish this one.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: And that's why he's not giving you the other one
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: right now, because this one is so very important and
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: it's it's waking people up.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: Even then, even.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: Though the children don't have IP, they're saying to themselves, Wow,
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: she's able to do that. I can do this, and
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: I need to not be afraid to come out and
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: say that this is what's going on with my child
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: because a lot of people are still like what you said,
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: they're holding it in and then not letting it out.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: What powerful conversation do you hope that the voice of
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: a mother's paining on the night while families, especially between
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: mothers and their children.
• 40:12
  Speaker 6: So you know what the biggest thing is that I
• 40:17
  Speaker 6: hope it opens up space for vulnerability, for children to
• 40:22
  Speaker 6: recognize that their mothers as human being layered with all
• 40:29
  Speaker 6: the emotions, and then for mothers just to feel safe
• 40:34
  Speaker 6: expressing their needs and not meeting everyone else's I hope
• 40:38
  Speaker 6: that the healing begins. Sorry, I hope that the healing
• 40:43
  Speaker 6: begins so we can stop pretending that we're okay and
• 40:47
  Speaker 6: start telling the truth because you know, as women were
• 40:50
  Speaker 6: naturally were naturally strong. But there are times where I,
• 40:57
  Speaker 6: you know, admitted like, this is a lot, this is
• 41:00
  Speaker 6: a lot to take in, This is a lot for
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: a first time mom, not knowing anything. But I knew
• 41:07
  Speaker 6: that the biggest thing that I was gonna love her regardless.
• 41:11
  Speaker 6: I was gonna love her regardless of what would happened.
• 41:15
  Speaker 6: I still love her just as much even with IP
• 41:18
  Speaker 6: it doesn't matter. So for me, it was just being
• 41:22
  Speaker 6: okay with not being okay and just realizing that this
• 41:27
  Speaker 6: this is our life. And again just that that shift
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: in your perspective and how you choose to deal with
• 41:33
  Speaker 6: it is what I hope that you know, mothers can
• 41:40
  Speaker 6: recognize and then, like I said, for children to recognize
• 41:42
  Speaker 6: that their mother is as human beings with layered emotions.
• 41:46
  Speaker 6: You know, we're emotional people, but I think that emotional beings, yeah,
• 41:52
  Speaker 6: just expressed.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: So Natalie, how do we need to find love through
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: the lens of your character? And does that definition shift?
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: As you wrote.
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: Again, defining love through them is discovering each other, discovering
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: themselves and discovering.
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: That they like each other.
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: They once they get past all the walls that they've
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: got up, they discover that they love each other. I
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: don't think that my understanding of love got any deeper,
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: but my understanding of love continues to grow as I
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: write the books, because I get to fall in love
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: every time I write one of these books.
• 42:44
  Speaker 7: I get to go through all the.
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: Emotions, the ups, the downs, the sideways, I get to
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: go through all of that. But in the end, I
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: get to fall in love and have a happily ever after.
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: And that's one of my goals is to put this
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: is my way of putting love into the world. I
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: can't love on everybody, but I can put this out there.
• 43:04
  Speaker 5: That's my that's my effort.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: So what lasted impact do you hope to be loved
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: by Blue leaves on readers.
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: That they can not necessarily just to be loved by Blue,
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: but any of my books is that it's a place
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: to go to escape because there's so much going on
• 43:29
  Speaker 5: in the world right now that we need we need
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: an escape, and that's what that's what my books are.
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: They're an escape to get away from the ills of
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: the world, the things that are stressing us out, this
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: climate of politics that we live in. We need, we
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: need a chance to get away. And that's what I
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: want for my books to do for my readers. Give
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: them an opportunity to get away, to have that happily
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: ever after that reason or smile.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: So what deeper truth or transformation do you want them
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: to walk away with after experience in his.
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: Story that love is real and love exists. Because I
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: talk to a lot of people when I'm out doing
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: events and selling my books, and they say, oh, I
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: don't do romance. I don't believe in love. Love ain't real.
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: I don't I want people to know love is real.
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: How can love not be real? God is love and
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: He created created us to be in relationships. So I
• 44:32
  Speaker 5: want those readers to know that love is real, it exists,
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: and and hopefully these books.
• 44:40
  Speaker 7: Say it again some people, I was saying, and don't
• 44:42
  Speaker 7: be afraid of it.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: Some people are afraid of falling in love because they.
• 44:45
  Speaker 7: Got hurt exact time.
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: And they just don't want to take the chance again.
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: Right, and you get hurt sometimes two, three, four times,
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: But you can't. You can't stay down just because you
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: get knocked down. You got you gotta try. If it's
• 45:01
  Speaker 5: something that you really truly want, you have to try.
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: And I know that's so much easier said than done
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: because it requires being vulnerable. Like Pharaoh was talking about
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: being vulnerable. Falling in love is being vulnerable too. You
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: have to open yourself up and allow somebody in. When
• 45:19
  Speaker 5: you do that, that opens you up to the possibility
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: of being hurt, but it also opens them up to
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: the possibility of being hurt as well.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely right, farn What unexpected truth or revelations did
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: you uncover about yourself while right and the voice of
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: a mother's pain.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: That I was stronger than I thought.
• 45:45
  Speaker 6: But also that stripth isn't about holding everything together, that
• 45:52
  Speaker 6: it's about being willing to fall apart and still get
• 45:55
  Speaker 6: back up, just like Natalie.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: Just you know, you get not down, but being willing
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: to get back up.
• 46:02
  Speaker 6: Also realize that again my pain had purpose, so sharing
• 46:07
  Speaker 6: it could help others to find theirs their purpose.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: And how did the process of telling your story transform you?
• 46:20
  Speaker 6: You know, the whole experience has been a whole life
• 46:24
  Speaker 6: changing experience. First of all, it stretched my faith right
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: it stretching my faith. Listen, I had to literally lean
• 46:36
  Speaker 6: on him to see me through. And I tell people
• 46:41
  Speaker 6: all the time, if you have to believe, because this
• 46:46
  Speaker 6: type of situation can literally literally take you out if
• 46:53
  Speaker 6: you when you read the book, you'll see all the
• 46:55
  Speaker 6: stuff that we went through, and you would literally be like, how,
• 47:00
  Speaker 6: like how are you still you know here? How are
• 47:04
  Speaker 6: you still moving through it? But my faith, my faith
• 47:08
  Speaker 6: is what kept me and I had to strengthen my
• 47:11
  Speaker 6: faith in order to give me where I am today,
• 47:15
  Speaker 6: So that that's a transformation for me. It's just the
• 47:19
  Speaker 6: strength and faith the strengthen it in my faith, just
• 47:22
  Speaker 6: to know that even though you know, you always hear
• 47:26
  Speaker 6: you don't look like what you've been through.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: And I always say God that we don't look like
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: what we've been through.
• 47:31
  Speaker 6: Although I'm not physically living with IP, it's still it's
• 47:36
  Speaker 6: still my story because I'm raising someone who I've never
• 47:41
  Speaker 6: heard of this condition before. You know, this is where
• 47:44
  Speaker 6: the nick you doctors, her, neurologist, her her. I can't
• 47:54
  Speaker 6: fear the doctor name, but we all google this to
• 47:57
  Speaker 6: figure this out. So this is not you know, you
• 48:00
  Speaker 6: hear other disabilities like autism, which is known and even
• 48:05
  Speaker 6: though there's a huge broad spectrum whom autism is a
• 48:08
  Speaker 6: well known disability. But when you hear IP, everybody's like,
• 48:13
  Speaker 6: what what is that? So I knew I had to
• 48:16
  Speaker 6: always be prepared to explain what it is. And it
• 48:20
  Speaker 6: brings me joy to do so because I get to
• 48:23
  Speaker 6: teach people how to treat my daughter when she's around,
• 48:27
  Speaker 6: to teach people what they're going to look for when
• 48:30
  Speaker 6: she's around and how to handle her.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know whether you played baseball or not, but
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: I see it as God having this big old nant
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: to allow you to fall into when you need to,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: and then when he's ready to throw you back out
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: there because he knows it's time for you to go
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: back out there.
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: That's what he does.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: And he has thrown you out there so many times
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: because he didn't want you to give up. And it's
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: because only you can deliver with this message. He could
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: have picked anybody else and chosen anybody else's child, but
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: he picked you because you weren't gonna lay back and
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: just let it be.
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if I could
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: have done it. I don't know what I would have done.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: I really I probably would have still been crying and
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: then being upset and then being blaming other people. So
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: he knew who he wanted to choose and all.
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: The time, and I thank you for the process.
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: You're welcome.
• 49:30
  Speaker 6: I told people all the time. I love that he
• 49:32
  Speaker 6: chose me to be her mother, like I love it.
• 49:35
  Speaker 6: I don't know, like you said, I don't know if
• 49:37
  Speaker 6: anybody else would have taken these steps.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: You know, I didn't.
• 49:43
  Speaker 6: I don't know, But I love that he chose me
• 49:47
  Speaker 6: to be her mom so that I could, you know,
• 49:49
  Speaker 6: advocate for her, to be her voice. But like you said,
• 49:52
  Speaker 6: she's watching, she watches everything. But I can't wait to
• 49:56
  Speaker 6: just I tell people all the time, she is going
• 49:59
  Speaker 6: to be a genius.
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: I'm speaking in now.
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: And I know when I see YouTube together and YouTube
• 50:06
  Speaker 4: it's the cutest things I ever did see.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: And you're together, the look, the look in your eyes,
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: and the look that she has when she's looking up
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: at you, it's just like looking at the moon. I
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: don't know if anybody else has ever seen it, but
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: I see that when I see her looking up at you,
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: it's just like a magnet thing that you just see.
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: Tell me somebody, have you seen that?
• 50:30
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, I've seen it.
• 50:34
  Speaker 7: I love seeing them together.
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: So forgive me for going that deep, but I do.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: I see that no matter how it's going to she's
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: standing in front of you and you're hugging her, it's
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: still there.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: It's still there.
• 50:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, although not going anywhere now, so I don't know
• 50:50
  Speaker 6: how that's gonna work.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: I'll be looking at her.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: Then you want me going like this, Let me going
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: like this, and you gonna be going Natalie, is there
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: a particular passage or moment and to be loved by
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: you that deeply moved you while you were writing it,
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: something lingers into your spirits?
• 51:08
  Speaker 7: Yes?
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: Yes, So, like I said, Tony's a card. And she
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: challenges Darius. At one point they've gone out for dinner
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: and he was taking her home. She was standing on
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: the stoop, which now she's already an inch taller than him.
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: So now this stupid has made a few more inches taller,
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: and her breast come to his eyes, to his eye level. Well,
• 51:31
  Speaker 5: you know, she she's flawting him in his face. So
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: he takes the challenge and he puts his hand under
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: her shirt and now she's freaking out because she's like,
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: I didn't.
• 51:43
  Speaker 7: Think he was like that.
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: Why is he really getting ready to do this on
• 51:48
  Speaker 5: the street where people can see us.
• 51:51
  Speaker 7: Well, he just kind of looks at her.
• 51:53
  Speaker 5: Then he picks her up, puts her on the sidewalks
• 51:55
  Speaker 5: or at their eye level, and he tells her, don't
• 51:58
  Speaker 5: you ever let anybody just rest affect you like that?
• 52:02
  Speaker 5: That that is what all women want from their men.
• 52:07
  Speaker 7: When we just got to.
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: Do something stupid or step out of the box, we
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: want that man to say, hey, don't do that.
• 52:14
  Speaker 7: Would you do that to yourself? So yeah, that that.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Moment, I'm looking at him a little differently now and
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: before I was laughing at him.
• 52:24
  Speaker 7: You gotta get to know, I would admit it that
• 52:26
  Speaker 7: I was.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: I was laughing at Darius in the beginning because of
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: that corny line.
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: But I have to hand I have to hand it
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: to him.
• 52:33
  Speaker 7: Yeah, turned me around a little bit.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: I feel like gonna date you because you sure, but
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: you really did. I'm really surprised that you go ahead, Darius.
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: Now, Gary sayn't short. Darius is six feet tall, but
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: Tony's talk to she's six to one.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: Might he might just get over a little bit it's okay,
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: it's okay. So what message would you offer to a
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: mother still carrying her pain and silence bearing who have
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: not yet found the strength to give her story of
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: voice because a lot of them are working around in pain.
• 53:13
  Speaker 6: You know what, you don't have to carry it alone.
• 53:16
  Speaker 6: That that's the message that I would give, is that
• 53:20
  Speaker 6: you do not have to carry it alone, and that I,
• 53:24
  Speaker 6: like I said, I hope that this book would give
• 53:27
  Speaker 6: permission for mothers who are raising children with any disability,
• 53:34
  Speaker 6: you know, whatever it may be, not just IP, but
• 53:37
  Speaker 6: just hopefully that they would be know that there's power
• 53:42
  Speaker 6: and being vulnerable and that's where the healing starts, right
• 53:47
  Speaker 6: you just acknowledging what you went through. But again, until
• 53:53
  Speaker 6: they're able to find their voice, I hope that this
• 53:55
  Speaker 6: book is a reminder for them that they are not
• 53:58
  Speaker 6: alone and that they are are five other women in
• 54:01
  Speaker 6: this book who have you know, graciously, I can't thank
• 54:05
  Speaker 6: them enough just for being open to share this journey
• 54:07
  Speaker 6: with me, because again, stuff like this is traumatizing when
• 54:10
  Speaker 6: you have to go revisit for me. You know, commis ten,
• 54:15
  Speaker 6: so you know it's not far back, but far back
• 54:19
  Speaker 6: enough to have to go back and you know, visit
• 54:21
  Speaker 6: those hospital days and even, like I said, upon my
• 54:25
  Speaker 6: own recovery at the same time, So there's a lot
• 54:28
  Speaker 6: going on. It wasn't just her, it was also me.
• 54:31
  Speaker 6: But you know, I wasn't I wasn't important for me.
• 54:35
  Speaker 6: It was I needed her to be okay. But then
• 54:39
  Speaker 6: it's a message in making sure that you know, we
• 54:41
  Speaker 6: take care of ourselves as mothers, because.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: We can't in an empty.
• 54:46
  Speaker 6: Cup, so we gotta fill our cup so we can
• 54:48
  Speaker 6: overflow in the lives of others.
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: I love how you say there's there's power and vulnerability.
• 54:54
  Speaker 7: I love that phrase.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: So if to Be Love by You were adapted into
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: a film, what kind of soundtrack would you bring into
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: emotions to life?
• 55:07
  Speaker 7: It would be sexy and sultry like mag Night and Kim. Yeah,
• 55:14
  Speaker 7: because one of the ladies who did.
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: One of the ladies who did a review for me
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: said that Darry No, it was my editor.
• 55:24
  Speaker 7: She said, Darius had her reaching for her husband.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, she's got that big old picture behind you of Darien. Yes,
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: now it's something you made up, but he's looking pretty real.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, look I would take Darries.
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: Now, who's the who's to check this on the side
• 55:51
  Speaker 4: of that is that Tony.
• 55:52
  Speaker 7: That's Tony.
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: She got a call.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: I don't even I'm gonna change in that. I don't
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: even like her for him. I don't even like her
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: for I don't even like that dress you wear. No, no,
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: no no.
• 56:07
  Speaker 7: But know her.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: I don't want to know him now that, now that
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: he done said what he said, I don't need to
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: know her. She's going about her business. She's going about
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: her business, so I don't even want to mess with her.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: What's next for you on your journey as an author?
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: Do you see yourself continue to write stories that's center
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: on healing, truth and emotional transformation.
• 56:33
  Speaker 6: Yes, absolutely, so. Healing is a journey. It's not a destination,
• 56:39
  Speaker 6: it's a journey. So I want to continue telling stories
• 56:42
  Speaker 6: that shines a light on silent battles that people face,
• 56:48
  Speaker 6: especially women and mothers. Fathers also go through it, so
• 56:52
  Speaker 6: I know the voice of a mother's pain. But it
• 56:54
  Speaker 6: certainly serves, as you know, a book for parents period.
• 56:59
  Speaker 6: Because you mentioned my husband also went through it, and
• 57:02
  Speaker 6: I'll share I share a little bit about that piece
• 57:05
  Speaker 6: of it in there as well, just what my thought
• 57:08
  Speaker 6: process was like for him when both of us were
• 57:12
  Speaker 6: in the hospital, right. You know, I got him being
• 57:16
  Speaker 6: strong for all of us now because I can no
• 57:19
  Speaker 6: longer be strong for myself. We're on two separate floors.
• 57:24
  Speaker 6: You know, it was a lot for him. So my
• 57:27
  Speaker 6: goal is to create a space for more voices, more healing,
• 57:32
  Speaker 6: and for more hope.
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: I believe that you would do that, honestly do Natalie,
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: how has writing this book we shaped your understanding of
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: what it is true? But it truly means to be seen,
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: known and deeply loved floors, pain and all.
• 57:49
  Speaker 5: Wow, it's just a reminder again that love is Love is.
• 58:00
  Speaker 7: Not a straight path.
• 58:02
  Speaker 5: It's it's It has curves, it has twists, it has turns,
• 58:06
  Speaker 5: but it takes faith and strange to hold on and
• 58:10
  Speaker 5: make it through. If that again, you have to want
• 58:13
  Speaker 5: it because it's easy to give up, so easy to
• 58:17
  Speaker 5: give up, but you have to remember it's everything is.
• 58:21
  Speaker 5: There's nothing that's perfect, that nothing that's easy, but if
• 58:25
  Speaker 5: you want to be successful.
• 58:27
  Speaker 7: And then you got to hang in there.
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: I've been married, It'll be thirty nine years in August,
• 58:33
  Speaker 5: thank you. And I would not sit here and tell
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: anybody that it's been easy. But the good I weighs bad, absolutely.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: All the time, all the time, ladies, for those deeply
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: moved by your stories, how can listeners, if viewers stay
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: connected with them, follow your journey or support your work
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: beyond the pages of your.
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: Book, So you can follow out on page on.
• 59:01
  Speaker 6: Facebook authorfarre and maclamore, or you can visit authorfarrenmaclamore dot
• 59:06
  Speaker 6: com where you can keep up with the journey. I
• 59:11
  Speaker 6: actually started that new page where I'll be blogging, so
• 59:14
  Speaker 6: you'll get to also dive a little deeper. But make
• 59:17
  Speaker 6: sure that you do go purchase The Voice of My
• 59:20
  Speaker 6: Mother's Pain. I cannot tell you how moved you would be,
• 59:25
  Speaker 6: how it inspired you would be, just from these powerful.
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: Women sharing their powerful stories.
• 59:33
  Speaker 5: And you can find my book on my website netsbooks
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: dot net. All of my books are there. I was
• 59:40
  Speaker 5: just telling the ladies that I just finished book number ten.
• 59:45
  Speaker 5: It's not published yet, but you can find all the
• 59:47
  Speaker 5: rest of my books there. You can follow me. I
• 59:50
  Speaker 5: have two Facebook pages.
• 59:52
  Speaker 7: I have Natalie R. Murphy author.
• 59:54
  Speaker 5: That book gives you a lot of information about how
• 59:57
  Speaker 5: to self publish because I am a self publishing coach.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: And if you want some fun and romantic and kind
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: of spicy fun stuff, my make Room for Romance page
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 5: on Facebook.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 7: Follow me there. That page is hilarious.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: Woo.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 4: Tonight was nothing short of powerful.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: A huge thank you to Farren macnamore and Matt Lee
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Murphy sharing DTS had triumphs with us. Their words are
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: reminded that healing is linear and healing is actually to
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: tell you the true healing is not linear, but it's possible.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: Be sure to grab your copies of the Voice of
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: a Mother's Pain and to be loved by Blue because
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: these stories will stay with you long after the last page.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you all for tuning in and don't forget. Our
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: next show is June twentieth at eight pm EAS this
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: standard time, when we return with our signature panel discussion
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: for cracks in the surface strengths in the core not easily.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: You already know that's where real healing happens. Until next time,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: take care of your spirit, speak your truth, and remember
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: your story is superpower. Thanks for keeping it basic. Good night, everybody,