Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / The Secret to Raising Kids Who Love Reading [with author Samantha Summers]

Transcript

The Secret to Raising Kids Who Love Reading [with author Samantha Summers] · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:05
Speaker 1: As a parent, are you always looking for the next
0:09
Speaker 1: great book for your kids to read? Like finding a
0:12
Speaker 1: really good book for children, especially in that sort of
0:16
Speaker 1: I'm going to say nine to twelve, nine to fourteen
0:18
Speaker 1: age range is really, really tricky. And today on the
0:22
Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast, I'm having a chat with an author,
0:24
Speaker 1: Sam Summers, who has written a brand new book that
0:27
Speaker 1: my twelve year old loved and wants to know when
0:29
Speaker 1: the next one's coming out already. I told her these
0:31
Speaker 1: things do take time, but she cannot wait for the
0:33
Speaker 1: next one. Sam Summers is the author of a brand
0:37
Speaker 1: new book that kids in that age range are just
0:40
Speaker 1: going to love. It's called The Lost Defenders. I'm going
0:42
Speaker 1: to talk to Sam about how she wrote the book,
0:44
Speaker 1: why she wrote the book, who it's for, and why
0:47
Speaker 1: your kids want it, plus a whole lot more. It's
0:50
Speaker 1: coming up in just a sec. On the Happy Famili's podcast.
0:55
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Happy Families podcast, where you
0:57
Speaker 1: get real parenting solutions every single day. This is a
0:59
Speaker 1: straight is most downloaded parenting podcast, talking a lot about
1:03
Speaker 1: books lately on the pod. My one comes out in
1:05
Speaker 1: just a week. But I'm going to allow myself to
1:07
Speaker 1: be overshadowed because like buying books for kids, it's one
1:11
Speaker 1: of those things where I'm constantly cringing. I don't want
1:14
Speaker 1: them to get stuff that's older than them. Sometimes the
1:16
Speaker 1: kids get out over their skis, they come across content
1:19
Speaker 1: it's not quite right for them. And somewhere around that
1:22
Speaker 1: ten to twelve age groups, the kids are growing up
1:25
Speaker 1: there starting to want to expand their horizons read really
1:28
Speaker 1: great stuff. But as parents we're trying to say, let's
1:31
Speaker 1: just keep it just right for you. It can be
1:33
Speaker 1: really tricky to find the right books. Sam Summers is
1:37
Speaker 1: an author, speaker, and coach for working mothers. Sam spent
1:41
Speaker 1: twenty years in the corporate marketing world while raising her
1:43
Speaker 1: son as a single mum for the most five years.
1:45
Speaker 1: She now helps women move beyond survival mode and build
1:48
Speaker 1: lives and careers that feel meaningful and sustainable. We're going
1:50
Speaker 1: to talk about that in just a sec but first up.
1:53
Speaker 1: Sam is also the author of the middle grade fantasy
1:57
Speaker 1: adventure The Lost Defenders. I feel like JR. Is our
2:01
Speaker 1: producer on the pod, JR. I need you to help
2:03
Speaker 1: me with this. I'm going to do that again because
2:05
Speaker 1: it feels like it needs something big here we go.
2:08
Speaker 1: The Lost Defenders I Love the Way You do that Jr.
2:16
Speaker 1: Thank You. Published by Penguin Random House Australia. The series
2:20
Speaker 1: explores bravery and belonging in the power of being different.
2:23
Speaker 1: Sam's originally from the UK. She's on the northern beaches
2:25
Speaker 1: of Sydney with a hobby and two kids. Sam, thanks
2:28
Speaker 1: for being on the pod. First things first, my daughter
2:30
Speaker 1: loved the book. How does that feel like as an
2:33
Speaker 1: author when someone says love the book or my kids
2:35
Speaker 1: love the book. Oh, my goodness, well done.
2:38
Speaker 2: Hi. When you told me that, I literally feel like
2:41
Speaker 2: I'm smiling from ear to ear. I'm actually struggling to
2:45
Speaker 2: just form a coherent sentence.
2:46
Speaker 3: Now. It's wonderful.
2:48
Speaker 2: It's just it's it's the dream when someone says that
2:51
Speaker 2: they love it, particularly a kid, because I wrote it.
2:53
Speaker 1: For kids, and kids are the toughest critics. Right If
2:56
Speaker 1: you can't get them by page one, page two, page three,
2:58
Speaker 1: it's all over. Read the whole book in a night,
3:01
Speaker 1: wouldn't go to sleep. We've got this thing. We know
3:04
Speaker 1: that she's got a talch in her room. We know
3:06
Speaker 1: that she stays up under the blankets reading. We don't
3:08
Speaker 1: get her in trouble for it. We just pretend to
3:10
Speaker 1: and yeah, she read your book in a night. Tell me,
3:13
Speaker 1: when you're trying to write for kids that age, how
3:15
Speaker 1: do you get the story right?
3:16
Speaker 2: Like?
3:16
Speaker 1: How do you how do you create something that will
3:19
Speaker 1: capture their attention and hold them, Because if you go
3:22
Speaker 1: too young, you end up writing those fairy books or
3:25
Speaker 1: Enid Blyton sort of stuff. If you go to old, yes,
3:27
Speaker 1: sort of end up getting a bit edgy, a little
3:29
Speaker 1: bit racy. Started to have to push into a different area.
3:33
Speaker 1: How do you get this just right, that sweet spot
3:35
Speaker 1: for kids in those middle childhood years.
3:39
Speaker 2: It's an interesting one actually because I've never before I
3:42
Speaker 2: wrote The Last Defenders, I hadn't written four children before.
3:45
Speaker 2: I've written for adults. I've written for young adults, and
3:50
Speaker 2: it you know, often when you're writing for an older generation.
3:54
Speaker 2: My writing, anyway, I think, tapped into sort of, you know,
3:57
Speaker 2: the angst that we all feel and the sort of
4:00
Speaker 2: you know, potentially sort of the pain that we feel
4:02
Speaker 2: going through certain things. So it was really different writing
4:05
Speaker 2: for writing for that sort of eight to twelve year olds,
4:08
Speaker 2: and it was wonderful. I guess I first started decided
4:13
Speaker 2: to write something my son was eight, and so I
4:15
Speaker 2: knew it had to be something that he would like.
4:17
Speaker 3: And I think as.
4:17
Speaker 2: Soon as I started writing, I realized that, actually I
4:20
Speaker 2: get to really tap into a part of our lives
4:23
Speaker 2: where everything's about discovery. And yes, you know, kids do
4:26
Speaker 2: go through learning and some struggles, but it's all part
4:32
Speaker 2: of that discovery and growing and having my son to
4:35
Speaker 2: sort of look at what he was reading, I guess,
4:37
Speaker 2: and what he enjoyed.
4:39
Speaker 3: He was obsessed with monsters back then, so that helped me.
4:43
Speaker 2: But it's a hard balance to strike and there was
4:46
Speaker 2: definitely parts, I'm not going to lie, there was definitely
4:48
Speaker 2: parts where my editor, thank you editor, sort of said
4:52
Speaker 2: this might be a little bit too much for eight
4:54
Speaker 2: to twelve year olds. So it helps to have other
4:56
Speaker 2: eyes on as well.
4:58
Speaker 3: Yeah.
4:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, when your son was re was he your number
5:01
Speaker 1: one fan, number one critic? Was he just like me,
5:04
Speaker 1: Mum's writing a book. How much did you utilize him?
5:08
Speaker 1: His friends? Like this, When I write a book, I
5:11
Speaker 1: get about ten people around me and I just get them.
5:13
Speaker 1: They hate me by the end of they never want
5:15
Speaker 1: to talk to me again. I'm like, read this, now,
5:16
Speaker 1: what about this?
5:17
Speaker 3: I've edited it?
5:18
Speaker 1: Does this sound better. Is that what you kind of did?
5:20
Speaker 1: Or do you keep it all very much to yourself
5:22
Speaker 1: till the products done.
5:23
Speaker 2: I think my poor husband had to listen to that
5:25
Speaker 2: a lot. What do you think of this? And read
5:27
Speaker 2: this chapter that I've just written? And you go, yeah,
5:29
Speaker 2: it's good, And I'd be like, good, what else so helpful?
5:33
Speaker 2: I more than that? What's it making you feel? What's
5:35
Speaker 2: it making you think? And so I think he was
5:37
Speaker 2: a bit fed up. My son was my first reader
5:40
Speaker 2: of the finished first draft, and he loved it. My
5:42
Speaker 2: son loved reading, so he was pretty excited. So I
5:46
Speaker 2: was very lucky to have someone like him really enthusiastic
5:49
Speaker 2: about reading it. And then thereafter, as you say, I
5:52
Speaker 2: actually got about ten of his friends to be thin
5:56
Speaker 2: so they all read it too, and that sort of
5:59
Speaker 2: the feedback of from them helped me adjust some bits.
6:02
Speaker 3: But it also gave.
6:03
Speaker 2: Me the confidence, I guess, to go and try and
6:05
Speaker 2: get a publisher.
6:06
Speaker 3: So they loved it.
6:07
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would love to turn this into like
6:09
Speaker 1: a book's podcast. I'm just massively in the books. You
6:13
Speaker 1: can't see with the screen just here, but my book
6:16
Speaker 1: shelf is mounted on the wall above my desk, and
6:18
Speaker 1: I just I have. We have thousands and thousands of
6:21
Speaker 1: books in our home. Here's a question for you though, that,
6:25
Speaker 1: like I've often thought I'd love to write some fiction,
6:27
Speaker 1: I'd love to write a novel, I'd love to write something.
6:30
Speaker 1: Never in my life have I thought I should write
6:32
Speaker 1: something for kids. What made you go writing for kids
6:36
Speaker 1: that sort of eight twelve, eight to thirteen age group.
6:39
Speaker 1: What made you think that would be just the most
6:40
Speaker 1: awesome idea ever?
6:42
Speaker 2: Well, it was definitely my son. So he was devouring
6:46
Speaker 2: books at the time. And we've always read together, me
6:48
Speaker 2: and him, I think partner parcel of sort of raising
6:52
Speaker 2: him by myself for a long time and having to
6:55
Speaker 2: work full time. We always read every evening together. That
6:58
Speaker 2: was like our little anchor reading before bed. So we
7:01
Speaker 2: read a lot of books together. And when he was
7:03
Speaker 2: around eight, you know, he was We still read together sometimes,
7:06
Speaker 2: but mainly similarly to your daughter. He would he would
7:09
Speaker 2: be reading them on his own, you know, with his
7:11
Speaker 2: torch in his room. And and so I was watching
7:14
Speaker 2: him devour these books by amazing writers, And oh, was
7:18
Speaker 2: I was I a bit jealous?
7:21
Speaker 3: Was I a bit sort of?
7:21
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I was just like I wonder
7:23
Speaker 2: if I can write something that he would be that
7:25
Speaker 2: engaged with and that he would love that much, And
7:27
Speaker 2: so that's kind of what inspired me to try. But actually,
7:30
Speaker 2: once I started, it was like a light went on
7:33
Speaker 2: inside me and I felt like, gosh, this is what
7:35
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be doing.
7:36
Speaker 3: So yeah, it made just made sense.
7:39
Speaker 1: Give us the thirty second synopsis? What is The Lost
7:41
Speaker 1: Defenders For any parent who's listened to the conversation so
7:43
Speaker 1: far and thought, oh my goodness, I just want my
7:45
Speaker 1: kids to read, this could be the answer.
7:47
Speaker 2: So The Lost Offenders is really fast paced. It's about
7:50
Speaker 2: a boy called Jays Tanner who can see monsters that
7:52
Speaker 2: no one else can. Obviously, that doesn't there's nothing that
7:56
Speaker 2: any kid wants to be able to do, because it
7:58
Speaker 2: gets him in all sorts of trouble. However, he is
8:01
Speaker 2: about to find out that he is not the only
8:03
Speaker 2: one and the real reason that he can see monsters
8:06
Speaker 2: is because he's descended from an ancient line of monster hunters.
8:09
Speaker 3: So it's really fast paced as exciting.
8:13
Speaker 2: Him and some others who are like him are in
8:16
Speaker 2: a race against time to basically thought an evil monster plan.
8:21
Speaker 1: It sounds intriguing and I can understand why my daughter
8:23
Speaker 1: loved it so much. After the break, Sam, we're going
8:25
Speaker 1: to have a chat about the coaching that you do,
8:27
Speaker 1: the work that you do with working mums, mums who
8:29
Speaker 1: are just thinking, oh my goodness, there is too much
8:31
Speaker 1: going on. I'm not content, I'm frustrated. It's all too hard.
8:35
Speaker 1: We have a chat about that and how you ended
8:37
Speaker 1: up in that situation. Next on the Happy Families podcast,
8:47
Speaker 1: We're back. This is the Happy Famili's podcast, speaking with
8:49
Speaker 1: Sam Summers, author Speak, a coach for Working Mothers. Sam,
8:53
Speaker 1: A couple of times you've alluded to the fact that
8:55
Speaker 1: you were a single mum. You're married now. I was
8:57
Speaker 1: going to say, when I look at your bio and
8:59
Speaker 1: all the stuff that you've done, there's kind of this
9:01
Speaker 1: situation where your published author, writing children's books, You've got
9:05
Speaker 1: this great coaching business, You've had a wonderful corporate life
9:10
Speaker 1: doing marketing. It just sounds like everything has gone so smoothly,
9:13
Speaker 1: But you've a looded a couple of times. You've been
9:15
Speaker 1: a single mom for a whole.
9:16
Speaker 3: Lot of time.
9:17
Speaker 1: Would you say that it has been linear? Has been
9:19
Speaker 1: a nice, cushy armchair ride to get to the point
9:22
Speaker 1: where you're in a position where you can now write
9:24
Speaker 1: and coach and speak and those kinds of things.
9:28
Speaker 3: No, no, is the simple answer to that.
9:30
Speaker 2: It hasn't been linear at all, and it definitely hasn't
9:35
Speaker 2: been straightforward.
9:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, obviously you can hear.
9:39
Speaker 2: I'm from England and I came to Australia about sixteen
9:42
Speaker 2: years ago and really loved it here. It's just such
9:46
Speaker 2: a wonderful lifestyle. I feel very very lucky. But I
9:50
Speaker 2: had a little boy and unfortunately that didn't work out,
9:53
Speaker 2: and when he was one, I was, Yeah, I was.
9:56
Speaker 2: I found myself a single mum in an apartment in
10:00
Speaker 2: me with no furniture and no job. Actually, because I
10:03
Speaker 2: had been I hadn't been at my job long enough
10:06
Speaker 2: to even get maternity leave when I when I was
10:08
Speaker 2: pregnant with him. So thankfully, the industry that I worked
10:11
Speaker 2: in and just the fact that you know, I had
10:13
Speaker 2: a good reputation in that industry allowed me to quite
10:16
Speaker 2: easily get another job. But yes, it was a terrifying,
10:18
Speaker 2: terrifying time because it was just me and him, and
10:21
Speaker 2: I remember sitting on my lounge floor because I didn't
10:25
Speaker 2: have a couch at the time, and just sort of thinking,
10:27
Speaker 2: oh gosh, this is a this is an interesting one.
10:30
Speaker 2: I could go either way here. It could have been
10:34
Speaker 2: really difficult, but I don't know. We made it work,
10:37
Speaker 2: me and him, and it was Actually I look back
10:39
Speaker 2: on some of that time of my life really really fondly.
10:42
Speaker 2: It was awesome and so it was hard. But I've
10:47
Speaker 2: never I've always found that writing has helped me to
10:51
Speaker 2: sort of ground myself in who I am, which was
10:53
Speaker 2: a really big, sort of important thing I think in
10:56
Speaker 2: my enjoy and my happiness. Wild things were quite difficult.
10:59
Speaker 2: So does that make sense?
11:00
Speaker 1: Yeah? And I feel like I'm sure changing the entire
11:02
Speaker 1: story by fast forward through to now. But after pulling
11:06
Speaker 1: it together and making things work, you're now coaching working mums.
11:12
Speaker 1: What's the most common thing that mums come to you
11:14
Speaker 1: for if they say, Sam, I just need I need
11:17
Speaker 1: a guide, I need a mentor, I need a coach,
11:18
Speaker 1: I need somebody to help me through this period right now.
11:21
Speaker 1: What's the number one thing on the list.
11:23
Speaker 2: Honestly, the number one thing that I get is feeling stuck.
11:27
Speaker 2: So feeling like we and we often do as mums,
11:31
Speaker 2: and it's quite natural to go into survival mode after
11:34
Speaker 2: we have children. Not necessarily after we have children, but
11:37
Speaker 2: when we go back to work after having children, I
11:39
Speaker 2: think is the key difference. I mean, we're going through
11:42
Speaker 2: a change that no one can ever really prepare for,
11:44
Speaker 2: and so we go into survival mode, just trying to
11:47
Speaker 2: make it all work. And then I think the biggest
11:51
Speaker 2: thing that happens is that we don't manage to sort
11:54
Speaker 2: of press pause and get ourselves off of that hamster wheel,
11:58
Speaker 2: I guess. And so I think a lot of women
12:00
Speaker 2: feel stuck that they don't have any time for themselves,
12:03
Speaker 2: and often that sort of loss of identity I think
12:06
Speaker 2: in the in the chaos, and so that's kind of
12:08
Speaker 2: where I tend to help women the most, is sort
12:11
Speaker 2: of creating a bit of a strategy out of that chaos.
12:17
Speaker 1: I often argue that there's no such thing as balance,
12:19
Speaker 1: Like there's there's too many balls in the air, and
12:22
Speaker 1: you're running around chasing all of them, and yes, some
12:25
Speaker 1: of them are going to drop. You just need to
12:26
Speaker 1: make sure you don't drop the ones that will break.
12:28
Speaker 1: But you're talking about balancing motherhood and corporate life and
12:33
Speaker 1: chasing goals or maybe even just trying to re establish
12:36
Speaker 1: and reassert a sense of identity. What are the top
12:41
Speaker 1: two or three things that you usually seem to come
12:44
Speaker 1: back to again and again and again that seem to
12:46
Speaker 1: be universally valued by the people who come to you
12:49
Speaker 1: for their for their coaching.
12:52
Speaker 2: It is I completely agree with you about balance, By
12:54
Speaker 2: the way, I think it's a bit of a misnomer.
12:56
Speaker 2: I actually think it's quite a toxic term that's gets
13:00
Speaker 2: thrown around because it actually sort of contributes to this
13:03
Speaker 2: constant feeling of failure that I think we have as parents,
13:06
Speaker 2: is that we're not we can never achieve this sort
13:09
Speaker 2: of optimal balance. And I think sort of reframing what
13:13
Speaker 2: balance should mean to everyone is probably the first place
13:15
Speaker 2: to start.
13:17
Speaker 3: And you know, I think I.
13:18
Speaker 2: Read somewhere once that a sort of life harmony is
13:20
Speaker 2: probably a better way of describing it. And sort of
13:24
Speaker 2: it some weeks and some months work is going to
13:27
Speaker 2: require a lot of you, and that's okay if that
13:30
Speaker 2: is in line with your values and what it is
13:32
Speaker 2: that you're guiding towards. And so put the idea of
13:36
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty or equal balance out the window, and
13:39
Speaker 2: you're already on the front foot, really, because trying to
13:43
Speaker 2: chase that elusive balance is sort of yeah, is always
13:46
Speaker 2: going to.
13:46
Speaker 3: Be is always going to be difficult for me when
13:50
Speaker 3: I was when.
13:51
Speaker 2: I was a single moment, and like I said, I
13:52
Speaker 2: was faced with this kind of decision, and this pivotal
13:55
Speaker 2: moment for me was just thinking, Okay, I remember it vividly.
13:59
Speaker 2: I need to provide, I need to be able to
14:01
Speaker 2: provide for us. But I also want my son to
14:03
Speaker 2: look back on his childhood one day and say it
14:06
Speaker 2: was happy and that his mum was happy. And that
14:09
Speaker 2: was a really really big driving force for me. And
14:11
Speaker 2: I often think that what we forget as parents, and
14:15
Speaker 2: what the working mums who are just working so hard
14:18
Speaker 2: to make sure that everything works in their family and
14:21
Speaker 2: everyone's happy, is that they forget about themselves. But actually
14:25
Speaker 2: what we want is for our children to see us happy,
14:29
Speaker 2: because then they are going to emulate that one day
14:31
Speaker 2: as doults.
14:32
Speaker 3: That's what I think anyway. So I think when we think.
14:34
Speaker 2: Self care is selfish, or doing things for ourselves is
14:40
Speaker 2: sort of a selfish act, it's actually the opposite. Because
14:44
Speaker 2: I always ask my clients, what do you want your
14:46
Speaker 2: daughter or your son to grow up? Thinking is adulthood
14:51
Speaker 2: and family life? Do you want them to think it's
14:53
Speaker 2: complete self sacrifice. Do you want them to have to
14:55
Speaker 2: sacrifice every part of themselves to make that work? Or
14:59
Speaker 2: do you want to genuinely follow their dreams and be happy?
15:02
Speaker 2: And I think we all know their answer to that.
15:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just take my head out from underneath the
15:07
Speaker 1: pillow that I've hidden it under as I've listened to
15:08
Speaker 1: you say that, because sometimes it feels so heavy, like
15:13
Speaker 1: there's so much to do and there is still sacrifice
15:17
Speaker 1: that has to be made. I love this conversation. I'm
15:19
Speaker 1: fascinated by it. I wish we had an hour to
15:22
Speaker 1: unpack it all. I'd love to keep on going deeper.
15:23
Speaker 1: But Sam, it's been a delight to talk to you.
15:25
Speaker 1: Sam Summers is an author, speaker, and coach for working
15:28
Speaker 1: mothers and the author of the brand new children's book
15:31
Speaker 1: The Lost Defenders. We Will Need to Impact. We'll link
15:39
Speaker 1: both to Sam's website so that you can find out
15:42
Speaker 1: about her coaching, and also we will link to The
15:44
Speaker 1: Lost Defenders in case you want to grab it for
15:46
Speaker 1: your kids, because it's always nice to have a great
15:49
Speaker 1: book for the kids to read. Sam, thank you so
15:51
Speaker 1: much for being generous with your time and sharing today.
15:53
Speaker 1: It's great to have you on. My daughter loved your
15:55
Speaker 1: book and that's really why I wanted to chat with you.
15:57
Speaker 3: Oh thank you for having me. It was awesome.
15:58
Speaker 1: The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from
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Speaker 1: Bridge Medium. Mim Hammond's provides our admin and other support,
16:04
Speaker 1: and if you'd like more information about the stuff we've
16:06
Speaker 1: talked about today, check the show notes for the pod. Otherwise,
16:09
Speaker 1: to make your family happier, you'll find everything you need
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