Latest / Two Broke Chicks / The Mid Year Glow Up To Emotional Hygiene
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadagal Land Always was, always
- 0:04Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm South and this
- 0:15Speaker 1: is Two Broke Chicks, the show that shares life lessons
- 0:17Speaker 1: and tips to help make you rich in life. And
- 0:20Speaker 1: welcome back to episode four of.
- 0:22Speaker 2: The Meet You Glow Up and very Sexy.
- 0:28Speaker 1: In today's episode, we are tackling emotional hygiene.
- 0:32Speaker 3: You dirty slut, you dirty girls, you dirty emotional girls.
- 0:39Speaker 3: Let's get clean.
- 0:41Speaker 1: Sorry, SuDS up chicks.
- 0:47Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love that.
- 0:49Speaker 2: We're gonna SuDS up in today's episode.
- 0:51Speaker 3: Let's get study.
- 0:52Speaker 2: Let's get study. No, what doesn't work?
- 0:56Speaker 4: Ready, you already?
- 1:02Speaker 3: Let's get Saudi girls, Saudi girls, Saudi girl. What is
- 1:10Speaker 3: emotional hygiene? Okay, yeah, seriously, now that we have a
- 1:14Speaker 3: completely copyright free shingle a sting.
- 1:20Speaker 2: It's okay.
- 1:21Speaker 3: Well, we're talking emotional hygiene. You may have kind of
- 1:25Speaker 3: heard the term hygiene being thrown into everyday things, for example,
- 1:30Speaker 3: like sleep hygiene, and now we're seeing this rise of
- 1:33Speaker 3: the term emotional hygiene, which I'm very interested. I am
- 1:38Speaker 3: keen to see what we're going to unpack today because
- 1:42Speaker 3: I feel like I'm a little bit new to this concept.
- 1:45Speaker 3: I feel like a little bit of an amateur, if
- 1:47Speaker 3: you will. Maybe I have dirty emotions, maybe I need
- 1:50Speaker 3: to set up, but I'm keen to get into this
- 1:54Speaker 3: because I love a new little concept for this that
- 1:58Speaker 3: because sometimes it's not not necessarily a new concept, but
- 2:01Speaker 3: it's reframed in a way that makes sense. And that's
- 2:05Speaker 3: what I like about these things. So, emotional hygiene.
- 2:08Speaker 2: What is it?
- 2:09Speaker 3: Now?
- 2:09Speaker 4: What is it?
- 2:10Speaker 3: What is emotional hygiene?
- 2:11Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 2:12Speaker 1: Well, in the midyear glow up, we've covered a lot
- 2:14Speaker 1: of ground already. We've spoken about skincare, fashion, but I
- 2:19Speaker 1: do think that emotional well being is the most, if
- 2:24Speaker 1: not all, one of the most important. But essentially, emotional
- 2:33Speaker 1: hygiene is all about noticing and caring for your.
- 2:37Speaker 2: Psychological health because, like you were.
- 2:39Speaker 1: Saying, we have heard of the term hygiene being tacked
- 2:42Speaker 1: onto other elements of our life, such as sleep or emotions,
- 2:47Speaker 1: whereas previously it would have been about like your physical health, right, so, like.
- 2:52Speaker 2: Your dental hygiene, for example.
- 2:55Speaker 1: But I do think that we are now starting to
- 2:57Speaker 1: take some of these things more seriously, even if they
- 3:01Speaker 1: don't show up physically. We now understand that our psychological
- 3:04Speaker 1: well being is just as important as our physical well being,
- 3:08Speaker 1: and it actually has a huge impact on how we
- 3:10Speaker 1: feel physically.
- 3:12Speaker 3: Well, it's all intertwined.
- 3:13Speaker 5: Yeah, it's all rich tapestry to say, we like to say,
- 3:19Speaker 5: and there was this substack called milk and Cookies that
- 3:22Speaker 5: describes the concept.
- 3:24Speaker 4: Well.
- 3:24Speaker 1: Emotional hygiene is a bit like brushing your emotional teeth
- 3:28Speaker 1: before your brain starts chewing on the wrong things. So
- 3:32Speaker 1: it's an important skill to have not only to keep
- 3:34Speaker 1: ourselves grounded and at our best, but also to prevent
- 3:37Speaker 1: emotional harm in the future, because just like brushing your teeth,
- 3:42Speaker 1: you're not necessarily trying to fix the problem that you
- 3:45Speaker 1: have currently. You're brushing your teeth so that you don't
- 3:47Speaker 1: get cavities in the future, which is why we need
- 3:50Speaker 1: to have emotional hygiene. It's also about preventative measures just
- 3:54Speaker 1: as much as the current day exactly.
- 3:57Speaker 3: I also think for you know, the anxiou overthinking garlies,
- 4:02Speaker 3: this can be I mean, yeah, everyone, basically this can
- 4:07Speaker 3: be especially crucial to get right. Creating opportunities to reset
- 4:11Speaker 3: and recharge is literally key and very often the task
- 4:17Speaker 3: and the thing that falls to like the bottom of
- 4:20Speaker 3: the barrel or the bottom of the to do list,
- 4:22Speaker 3: because we run the risk of letting our thoughts multiply
- 4:26Speaker 3: if left unchecked. But also life is just busy, and
- 4:31Speaker 3: especially for women, their own personal care or emotional hygiene
- 4:34Speaker 3: is very much something that gets left last. Instead of
- 4:37Speaker 3: cleaning the emotional mess from a hard week, it turns
- 4:41Speaker 3: into feeling like your whole life suddenly needs to feel
- 4:45Speaker 3: fixed or be fixed, and it kind of tunes into
- 4:48Speaker 3: that like peak time theory we were talking about of
- 4:51Speaker 3: you know, if two things happen bad in the week,
- 4:53Speaker 3: feeling like the whole week was bad, but not wanting
- 4:56Speaker 3: to sit with those emotions or understand or even focus
- 4:59Speaker 3: on the good things will bring that in. It becomes
- 5:02Speaker 3: a whole picture thing when really it's potentially not. And
- 5:07Speaker 3: so research shows that people are feeling at least one
- 5:11Speaker 3: emotion around ninety percent of the time. So becoming a
- 5:15Speaker 3: master of your emotional wellbeing is huge in self care
- 5:18Speaker 3: because it allows you to identify what you're feeling. And
- 5:23Speaker 3: also this was a big thing that was, you know,
- 5:28Speaker 3: a life lesson that again, everything's a journey. Wouldn't say
- 5:32Speaker 3: I'm like one hundred percent there, but realizing that I'm
- 5:36Speaker 3: also not my emotions so a lot of the time
- 5:41Speaker 3: we identify as what we feel rather than our feeling
- 5:45Speaker 3: being a feeling. So, for example, let's use anxiety because
- 5:50Speaker 3: that's so common and understandably so that it's like, you know,
- 5:53Speaker 3: I'm really anxious, I'm really like I'm an anxious person,
- 5:57Speaker 3: or I'm anxious. You're not anxious, you're feeling anxious. That
- 6:01Speaker 3: doesn't in any way diminish the emotion, but it does
- 6:05Speaker 3: establish your control over it and your ability to identify
- 6:10Speaker 3: that you are feeling an emotion you are not the emotion.
- 6:15Speaker 3: And that's something that's definitely been like I'm so angry
- 6:18Speaker 3: or I'm so upset, I'm so hurt, but I'm feeling
- 6:22Speaker 3: so hurt because what has caused that. You know, I'm
- 6:25Speaker 3: feeling so anxious because what has made me feel anxious?
- 6:29Speaker 3: And building that emotional hygiene to identify what you're feeling
- 6:34Speaker 3: is such a strong tool to be able to navigate
- 6:38Speaker 3: yourself out of those waters if you're not because it's
- 6:42Speaker 3: going to happen. Yeah, like we're not going to be
- 6:44Speaker 3: as much as Oh, I want love to be, Like
- 6:48Speaker 3: I'm happy rainbows and I'm listening to I'm walking on
- 6:50Speaker 3: the sunshine every day. Yeah, had that on karaoke slated
- 6:53Speaker 3: every time. That's just not going to happen. So knowing
- 6:57Speaker 3: what you're feeling, and I have always had this thing
- 7:00Speaker 3: where I'm like, oh, I feel this way and I
- 7:03Speaker 3: don't know why. And that's like been a thing that
- 7:06Speaker 3: I've had quite often throughout, like being like I feel stressed,
- 7:11Speaker 3: or like being like I'm stressed and I don't know why.
- 7:13Speaker 2: What is it there?
- 7:14Speaker 3: And I try to make myself and I'm like when
- 7:16Speaker 3: is it in? And I'm like why, And I have
- 7:18Speaker 3: to remember why I'm stressed, you know, and.
- 7:21Speaker 2: Which is you know, probably a whole different ball ball.
- 7:23Speaker 3: I was going to say ballcake.
- 7:29Speaker 2: It's a whole different ballcakes.
- 7:30Speaker 3: It's all different ballcake. But yeah, understanding your emotions and
- 7:35Speaker 3: where they're coming from and why they're happening, he is
- 7:37Speaker 3: like the first step and also realizing that you're not
- 7:40Speaker 3: your feelings. Like I was listening to this philosopher that
- 7:44Speaker 3: whenever I say that I sound like a knob. Sorry,
- 7:47Speaker 3: but his name's Alan Watts, and I love him. I
- 7:50Speaker 3: don't know that much about it, but I just listened
- 7:52Speaker 3: to his like talks and he was like I think
- 7:55Speaker 3: he was a Buddhist and he used to take magic
- 7:58Speaker 3: mushrooms and shit. But some of the ship came out
- 8:00Speaker 3: with I was like ten out of ten Allen, Yeah,
- 8:02Speaker 3: great work. And one of them was that your feelings
- 8:06Speaker 3: are never wrong, Like your feeling to feel a certain
- 8:09Speaker 3: way is never a right or a wrong thing. Your
- 8:14Speaker 3: reaction is. So it's never like you're never guilty or
- 8:20Speaker 3: bad for feeling a certain way about something, but what
- 8:23Speaker 3: you do with that feeling is right or wrong depending
- 8:28Speaker 3: on you know where you sit value wise. For example,
- 8:31Speaker 3: if let's say I was feeling jealous of a friend.
- 8:37Speaker 3: If I felt jealous and yet let's say they were
- 8:42Speaker 3: hanging out with someone else and they didn't invite me,
- 8:45Speaker 3: this is a very hypothetical situation, and I felt jealous
- 8:49Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, they've hung out. They didn't
- 8:51Speaker 3: invite me, like I would have loved to go to
- 8:54Speaker 3: the markets. But blah blah blah blah blah. Maybe they
- 8:57Speaker 3: didn't even plan that, maybe they just bumped into each other. Whatever.
- 9:00Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just having a jealous feeling. Right,
- 9:02Speaker 3: I'm jealous because I wanted to go. That's okay that
- 9:05Speaker 3: I feel jealous. Well, it's not Okay, is if I
- 9:08Speaker 3: then planned a dinner and invited a bunch of people
- 9:11Speaker 3: and then didn't include them and never said a single thing,
- 9:14Speaker 3: and I like got revenge like that kind of That's
- 9:18Speaker 3: what I'm meaning in terms of emotional hygiene is recognizing
- 9:21Speaker 3: an emotion, sitting with it, and letting it go. Okay,
- 9:25Speaker 3: this is actually an emotion I even want to act on,
- 9:29Speaker 3: versus might just need to go to bed and wake
- 9:32Speaker 3: up and sit on it.
- 9:33Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
- 9:34Speaker 1: I also do think a part of that, which you
- 9:37Speaker 1: mentioned before, is recognizing those emotions that you are feeling,
- 9:41Speaker 1: but paying attention to the patterns that are happening, because
- 9:44Speaker 1: I think that some people are more prone to certain emotions.
- 9:48Speaker 1: So whether that is feelings of anxiety or sadness and
- 9:53Speaker 1: depression or anger or jealousy. And if you notice that
- 9:56Speaker 1: there is a pattern that you're feeling a certain emotion
- 10:01Speaker 1: a lot and quite regularly, then it's like, Okay, well,
- 10:04Speaker 1: what will I do about that? What is the solve
- 10:07Speaker 1: of that? Like why do I feel angry a lot
- 10:11Speaker 1: of the time? Or why do I feel jealous a
- 10:12Speaker 1: lot of the time? Why are these emotions that I'm
- 10:14Speaker 1: feeling a lot more compared to some of the others,
- 10:18Speaker 1: And what are the steps that I can take to
- 10:19Speaker 1: maybe improve my relationship with those feelings, whether that is
- 10:24Speaker 1: you know, like going to talk to somebody about it,
- 10:26Speaker 1: going to seek professional help. Because I saw this study
- 10:30Speaker 1: from the University of Sydney and they found that on
- 10:33Speaker 1: average in Australia, it takes people twelve years to reach
- 10:37Speaker 1: out for help when they're experiencing a certain mental health
- 10:42Speaker 1: issue or addiction issue.
- 10:44Speaker 3: Oh my god.
- 10:45Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that, like a lot of people
- 10:48Speaker 1: probably could relate to that because I think we wait
- 10:51Speaker 1: until we've hit you know, rock bottom in quotation marks
- 10:55Speaker 1: before we get help, rather than so it's like we
- 10:58Speaker 1: wait to get our wisdom teeth taken out instead of
- 11:02Speaker 1: going and getting your dental hygiene check up every six months, yeah,
- 11:07Speaker 1: or brushing our tears.
- 11:08Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 11:28Speaker 3: For you, what's like one of the first signs that
- 11:30Speaker 3: you've not been prioritizing your emotional hygiene and might need
- 11:34Speaker 3: a reset?
- 11:36Speaker 1: I would say, because I do definitely feel anxious a lot.
- 11:41Speaker 1: And so it's if I notice that I'm just waking
- 11:44Speaker 1: up feeling anxious and nothing's happened, and I'm like, okay,
- 11:48Speaker 1: because I know that there's certain things that will trigger
- 11:50Speaker 1: feelings of anxiety within me.
- 11:52Speaker 2: But if I'm waking.
- 11:53Speaker 1: Up and automatically feeling anxious that I'm like, okay, I
- 11:57Speaker 1: probably haven't been prioritizing my sleep or putting in, you know,
- 12:01Speaker 1: some boundaries in place to have a bit more like
- 12:04Speaker 1: balance in my life. Or you know, I've fallen out
- 12:07Speaker 1: of my gym routine and doing that because that always
- 12:09Speaker 1: makes me feel good. So I try and like keep
- 12:12Speaker 1: track of or I will take stock of like what
- 12:14Speaker 1: I've done for the last week, and I'm like, okay,
- 12:17Speaker 1: have I not gone to the gym, or have I
- 12:19Speaker 1: not you know, have I worked a little bit later,
- 12:22Speaker 1: or have I not spent time with friends, And try
- 12:25Speaker 1: and have a look at some of those behaviors and
- 12:28Speaker 1: the things that usually make me feel good and then
- 12:31Speaker 1: try and introduce those What about you?
- 12:33Speaker 3: For me, it's definitely like my physical space. Yeah, if
- 12:38Speaker 3: my like house or house, if my like home is messy,
- 12:44Speaker 3: I'm like okay, because it means that I've just been
- 12:49Speaker 3: like too consumed by something else, by something else. And
- 12:53Speaker 3: it's more like if my house is messy, my brain
- 12:56Speaker 3: is messy, and it's it's a reflection of the internal monologue.
- 13:01Speaker 3: And that's and the first thing that I'm doing is
- 13:04Speaker 3: cleaning that space. And it's like the physical act of
- 13:07Speaker 3: cleaning the space also feels like a reset and a
- 13:11Speaker 3: cleaning of my emotional space and like that, and I
- 13:15Speaker 3: always feel better after I do it. And I fucking
- 13:18Speaker 3: hate cleaning, hate it, don't enjoy it, but love the
- 13:24Speaker 3: feeling after it. And sometimes that's like what the focus
- 13:26Speaker 3: is is. You know, when you are in a little
- 13:29Speaker 3: bit of a rut, when you're in the dirty girl
- 13:31Speaker 3: hygiene emotion thera, It's like, Okay, you don't feel like
- 13:36Speaker 3: going for a walk. I know you don't feel like
- 13:39Speaker 3: going and seeing your friends. I know you don't want
- 13:41Speaker 3: to clean your house. Totally get that, and so what's
- 13:45Speaker 3: difficult is to start doing the task. It's to start
- 13:48Speaker 3: doing the thing that makes you feel better and embraces
- 13:51Speaker 3: that emotional hygiene, and it's to focus on how you're
- 13:53Speaker 3: going to feel after it, because yeah, I know you
- 13:55Speaker 3: don't want to do it. Same s fair. So how
- 13:59Speaker 3: can we pract just good emotional hygiene.
- 14:02Speaker 1: There are lots of different techniques and things that we
- 14:04Speaker 1: can use, especially when you're feeling big feelings and you
- 14:07Speaker 1: don't really know what to do with them.
- 14:09Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever felt a little feeling in
- 14:11Speaker 3: my entire life.
- 14:13Speaker 2: All of them big, all of them all big feel
- 14:16Speaker 2: yeah and every time.
- 14:18Speaker 1: But one of them is the Rain technique. So this
- 14:21Speaker 1: was popularized by psychologist Tara Brack and meditation teacher Michelle McDonald,
- 14:27Speaker 1: and it includes four steps to identify and process some
- 14:31Speaker 1: of those big feelings.
- 14:33Speaker 2: So it's like an.
- 14:34Speaker 1: Acrostic poem love, I know it, love already, Yeah we
- 14:38Speaker 1: love this So stands for recognize, stop and identify what's
- 14:43Speaker 1: going on inside yourself clearly label.
- 14:45Speaker 2: The emotion that you're feeling. Is it anger, am i Tara? Yeah?
- 14:49Speaker 4: Right?
- 14:49Speaker 2: Is it anger, sadness? Anxiety?
- 14:53Speaker 1: I think sometimes you can feel like it's a mix
- 14:55Speaker 1: of both. But that's why it's really important to pause
- 14:57Speaker 1: and be like, what is.
- 14:58Speaker 2: That core that I'm experiencing?
- 15:01Speaker 1: Then A for allow give yourself permission to feel this
- 15:05Speaker 1: way and have the emotion exactly as it presents, because
- 15:09Speaker 1: I think a lot of us at first reaction would
- 15:11Speaker 1: be like push it down, don't.
- 15:13Speaker 3: Feel see, don't let them know.
- 15:17Speaker 1: Yeah actually, or immediately trying to I was.
- 15:26Speaker 3: Going to be the good girl. Okay them got a hit. Well, okay,
- 15:37Speaker 3: she was really onto something there, Yeah.
- 15:39Speaker 1: She was, seriously, but yeah, I think a lot of
- 15:42Speaker 1: our first reaction would be to push it down or
- 15:45Speaker 1: to judge yourself and be like, oh, like here you go,
- 15:48Speaker 1: you're being jealous again and putting yourself down, or immediately
- 15:54Speaker 1: trying to fix it.
- 15:55Speaker 2: Instead, just let it be, feel the feels.
- 15:58Speaker 3: Also, I reckon a lot of women would be like,
- 16:00Speaker 3: I don't have time. I don't have time to be sad.
- 16:03Speaker 3: I don't have time to be upset. I can't even imagine,
- 16:05Speaker 3: like you know, for the moms out there that are
- 16:08Speaker 3: basically running a household picking their kids up, like to
- 16:11Speaker 3: be able to have a bad date, it's probably just
- 16:13Speaker 3: not even in the cards.
- 16:14Speaker 2: Yeah exactly.
- 16:15Speaker 1: And then you feel guilty as well, being like so
- 16:17Speaker 1: many people have it worse off and that may be true,
- 16:21Speaker 1: but you're still allowed to feel those feelings.
- 16:23Speaker 2: So that's why that allow step is really important.
- 16:25Speaker 1: Then I investigate with gentle curiosity, see if you can
- 16:30Speaker 1: start to figure out.
- 16:31Speaker 2: What's making you feel this way. So it's kind of
- 16:34Speaker 2: like what you were saying before.
- 16:35Speaker 1: When you have those feelings of stress of anxiety, and
- 16:38Speaker 1: you're like, what is it? There's something, but actually listening
- 16:42Speaker 1: to yourself and trying to get to the bottom of it.
- 16:45Speaker 1: And then the final step en for nurture. Give yourself
- 16:49Speaker 1: some radical, unconditioned self compassion and care. So it could
- 16:53Speaker 1: show up as a physical action like holding a hand
- 16:56Speaker 1: to your chest or repeating assuring affirmation to yourself, or
- 17:01Speaker 1: splashing cold water on your face or eating a sour lolly.
- 17:05Speaker 1: That can be really helpful if you have experiences of anxiety,
- 17:08Speaker 1: because it gives your brain something to kind of focus
- 17:11Speaker 1: on instead and can calm you down. But figuring out
- 17:14Speaker 1: whatever that is and just making time for yourself.
- 17:18Speaker 3: I also think a really big part of emotional hygiene
- 17:21Speaker 3: isn't figuring out what's made you sad, but it's also
- 17:24Speaker 3: figuring out what makes you happy. I kind of feel
- 17:29Speaker 3: like that's the part of this that maybe gets left
- 17:31Speaker 3: out of the conversation, and especially as adults. And this
- 17:37Speaker 3: is just me like broad spectruming here, but I would
- 17:41Speaker 3: say most adults could very easily list what makes them
- 17:45Speaker 3: stressed versus what makes them happy, and I don't think
- 17:49Speaker 3: people would be able to list as quickly or as
- 17:53Speaker 3: thoroughly what makes them happy in life versus what makes
- 17:57Speaker 3: them stressed.
- 17:58Speaker 2: Especially for day to day.
- 18:00Speaker 1: So you probably could mention some of those big picture
- 18:02Speaker 1: things that you love to do, but in terms of
- 18:05Speaker 1: I'm sad, what's my immediate go to happy fix?
- 18:09Speaker 3: Yeah, there is like a stress happy emotional hygiene deficit
- 18:13Speaker 3: that you know what's going to stress you out. You
- 18:16Speaker 3: know what makes you stress, whether it's work, whether it's
- 18:18Speaker 3: running late, whether it's a messy house. But when someone says, well,
- 18:21Speaker 3: what makes you happy and your mind goes blank, that's
- 18:25Speaker 3: not good emotional hygiene. That shows and tells you that
- 18:29Speaker 3: you need to figure out what are your And I'm
- 18:31Speaker 3: not talking coping mechanisms either. I'm not talking things that
- 18:34Speaker 3: are going to get you out of bad feelings like well,
- 18:37Speaker 3: there's no such thing as a bad feeling. But I'm
- 18:39Speaker 3: not talking things that are going to get you out
- 18:41Speaker 3: of you know, feeling overwhelmed or feeling anxious, feeling stress.
- 18:44Speaker 3: I'm talking about like what is gonna what takes you
- 18:46Speaker 3: from neutral, What takes you from neutral or happy? What
- 18:49Speaker 3: just genuinely brings you joy? And I don't think we
- 18:52Speaker 3: understand or explore that enough or prioritize that enough and
- 18:57Speaker 3: to be able to choose those things and choose happiness
- 19:01Speaker 3: habits or tasks or whatever is genuinely why emotional hygiene
- 19:08Speaker 3: is so poor as adults, you know, like being able
- 19:11Speaker 3: to wake up and really appreciate your morning coffee, or
- 19:16Speaker 3: listening to a song and you go, I haven't heard
- 19:19Speaker 3: this song, ages, I love this song and turning it
- 19:22Speaker 3: up like really pop fit. But you know, calling a
- 19:28Speaker 3: friend to reminisce about a really funny memory you have
- 19:32Speaker 3: with them, or just watching a funny video on YouTube,
- 19:35Speaker 3: like where are you laughing? And choosing joy? Like There's
- 19:39Speaker 3: definitely been mornings where I wake up and I'm doing
- 19:43Speaker 3: like the mundane ant carrying a pebble and I'm like
- 19:48Speaker 3: just I'm going through the motions and I'm going and
- 19:51Speaker 3: I literally will out loud be like no, like let's
- 19:55Speaker 3: be happy. Where's the sparkle? Like let's do something that's
- 19:59Speaker 3: gonna bring the Z back? Because I'm not necessarily sad,
- 20:02Speaker 3: but I'm not necessarily happy and that's also gonna be
- 20:04Speaker 3: fine too, But where are the things that I'm gonna
- 20:06Speaker 3: be like tiki haha, like let's make it fun.
- 20:10Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like the prioritizing the things that when you
- 20:13Speaker 1: were young and you imagined what adult life would be
- 20:16Speaker 1: like and doing that.
- 20:18Speaker 3: Yeah, go to the movies, get all the lollies. I
- 20:20Speaker 3: bought like twenty five bucks of lollies on the weekend.
- 20:22Speaker 3: I made a lolliger half of It's gone ten out
- 20:25Speaker 3: of ten. Highly recommend So when about developing your sense
- 20:48Speaker 3: of understanding, giving compassion to others but also to yourself,
- 20:52Speaker 3: Like would you talk to a friend the same way
- 20:55Speaker 3: you talk to yourself? Is that very common example that
- 20:57Speaker 3: people throw around, But you can try what's called emotional archaeology.
- 21:04Speaker 2: Jurassic Park theme sign.
- 21:05Speaker 3: I was thinking the Mummy.
- 21:06Speaker 5: Oh hot, yeah, yeah, yeah, Now I'm locked in.
- 21:11Speaker 3: Oh yeah. So think of your emotional landscape as an
- 21:15Speaker 3: archaeological dig. The present moment is like top soil. It's
- 21:20Speaker 3: what we see, what we experience. Directly Underneath the top
- 21:24Speaker 3: soil lies layers of history, like childhood experiences, past friendships, relationships,
- 21:29Speaker 3: and significant life events, a mix of joyful and likely
- 21:34Speaker 3: less joyful, painful things. These experiences, big and small, leave marks.
- 21:39Speaker 3: They become ingrained in our emotional memory, influencing how we
- 21:43Speaker 3: perceive and react to the world around us. It's not
- 21:46Speaker 3: that we're consciously like reliving those past experiences, but the
- 21:50Speaker 3: emotional residue is there so ready to kind of influence
- 21:54Speaker 3: how we live and react in present day. So understanding
- 21:58Speaker 3: that our reactions have roots, you know, like there's a
- 22:02Speaker 3: reason why this has maybe hurt your feelings, there's a
- 22:05Speaker 3: reason why you don't like when someone says something you know,
- 22:08Speaker 3: And maybe it's not as deep as like some childhood
- 22:11Speaker 3: thing that's happened or high school friendship or whatever it is,
- 22:15Speaker 3: but there's roots to everything that you feel and reasons
- 22:18Speaker 3: and supporting that for yourself and not diminishing your emotions
- 22:21Speaker 3: and your feelings. It brings us one step closer to
- 22:24Speaker 3: knowing ourselves better, but also knowing others and maybe living
- 22:28Speaker 3: and leading with a little bit more empathy too.
- 22:31Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 22:32Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree to yourself, but also to the people
- 22:34Speaker 1: around you, because everybody is having their own experiences with
- 22:38Speaker 1: their emotional hygiene. And I think that's the thing, Like,
- 22:42Speaker 1: your emotional hygiene is your responsibility.
- 22:46Speaker 2: Nobody's going to come and brush your teeth for you.
- 22:49Speaker 3: I know I would love that. Yeah, but I think
- 22:53Speaker 3: I'm talking literally love no same, but.
- 22:58Speaker 2: I was imagining. I'm always I've had like a.
- 23:01Speaker 3: Little hot choking and I realized I have to get
- 23:02Speaker 3: out of it.
- 23:03Speaker 2: I know it's tough. It's tough, but that's the thing.
- 23:06Speaker 1: Nobody is going to come and do it for you,
- 23:09Speaker 1: and your emotional hygiene is the same. But that doesn't
- 23:13Speaker 1: mean that you have to do it alone. If you
- 23:16Speaker 1: have listened to this episode and you do some of these,
- 23:19Speaker 1: you've used some of these tactics like the rain tactic,
- 23:22Speaker 1: or you know, you've really tried to do a bit
- 23:25Speaker 1: of a stock take on how you're feeling and some
- 23:27Speaker 1: of those like patterns of emotions that you have been
- 23:29Speaker 1: feeling and you've noticed, you know, a bit of a
- 23:31Speaker 1: trend or you know, maybe you're just not feeling your
- 23:34Speaker 1: usual sparkly self like. There is no shame in speaking
- 23:38Speaker 1: to the people around you. If anything, it is so
- 23:41Speaker 1: incredibly brave and important to speak to people around you
- 23:44Speaker 1: about how you're feeling, but also to reach out for help,
- 23:49Speaker 1: and there are so many amazing resources in Australia that
- 23:51Speaker 1: can help you do that. We've put a list of
- 23:55Speaker 1: free resources and helplines in the show notes because yeah,
- 24:00Speaker 1: I do think that whilst you know so many of
- 24:02Speaker 1: the practices and things we've spoken about in today's show
- 24:06Speaker 1: are helpful if you are having, you know, genuine experiences
- 24:09Speaker 1: of mental health, which so many of us do.
- 24:12Speaker 2: No shame. Yeah, it's very very.
- 24:16Speaker 1: Worthwhile and helpful to speak to somebody else. And absolutely yeah,
- 24:21Speaker 1: love you chicks.
- 24:22Speaker 2: Love you.
- 24:23Speaker 3: Your homework for Say's episode is to write down at
- 24:26Speaker 3: three to five things that actually make you happy, and
- 24:29Speaker 3: then you have to do like two or three of
- 24:31Speaker 3: them every single day, and I'll check and.
- 24:33Speaker 1: Feel free to share them in the comments because we
- 24:35Speaker 1: love all the ideas.
- 24:36Speaker 2: Spread the jaw, cheekys, spread the.
- 24:38Speaker 3: Jaw, spread the left of spread the kisses. All right, bye, honey,
- 24:42Speaker 3: thanks for having us in your holes.
- 24:44Speaker 2: We love to be here and we'll see you back
- 24:46Speaker 2: through episode five.
- 24:47Speaker 4: Maine. Bye,