Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.119 | We Both Almost Died. What Near Death Experiences Taught Us About Curiosity with Shay & Mariah

Transcript

Ep.119 | We Both Almost Died. What Near Death Experiences Taught Us About Curiosity with Shay & Mariah · Curiously Guided Podcast

0:07
Mariah: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
0:10
Shay: We're your hosts, Mariah.
0:12
Shay: And hey guys, I'm Shay.
0:14
Shay: We're two online business consultants passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
0:21
Shay: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
0:24
Shay: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
0:28
Mariah: Especially if we want to create a life that feels good from the inside out.
0:33
Mariah: So if you're ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way, let's get into the episode.
0:40
Shay: All right, friends, welcome back to the pod.
0:42
Shay: We have a unique episode for you guys today that we've been kind of simmering on, I think, for most of this season.
0:49
Shay: Um, you probably don't know this, but both Mariah and I had a near-death experience within the last year, um, both in pretty different situations.
1:01
Shay: And both of those experiences have really kind of reshaped how we're thinking about life, but also how we're approaching our businesses.
1:09
Shay: And I think they've affected us in kind of different ways, but also similar ways.
1:14
Shay: Um, her and I have both really been encouraged to share these stories.
1:18
Shay: So we wanted to take a whole episode and kind of dive into our near-death experiences and what it's shifted and how it's changed the way we're perceiving business and life and all that other good stuff.
1:31
Shay: So we're gonna start.
1:33
Shay: I want Mariah to kind of share like the story of what happened to her, and then we can kind of dive into the fun stuff from there.
1:41
Mariah: It's funny because it's like when you say near-death experience, I just imagine like somebody like cliff climbing and like falling off.
1:49
Mariah: Like it almost doesn't feel like what we experience was like.
1:53
Shay: Seriously, like when close prepping this, even earlier today, I was thinking about like what I want to say, and I was like, oh, should I clarify that like mine wasn't really a near-death experience?
2:02
Shay: But like it was, and yours was too.
2:04
Shay: It's I have the same reaction of like, does that it's only adventure seekers that get near death at like I don't know why I'm having trouble accepting that title, but it was.
2:13
Mariah: Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
2:14
Mariah: And so just a heads up, we're gonna be talking about.
2:18
Mariah: Obviously, if you clicked on this, I think that you're pretty cool with like wherever we go with this, but like we are gonna be talking about some some pretty serious and scary stuff.
2:29
Mariah: Um, I think what's really you know what makes me feel not as bad talking about this stuff is and this is this is for my astrology girls.
2:43
Mariah: My son is in the eighth house, my Venus is in the eighth house.
2:46
Mariah: It's literally like the house of like uh death and rebirth.
2:52
Mariah: And so I always tell Shay, I don't usually say it when we're recording, um, but I always tell Shay like off recording, off mic, whatever, um, that I get kind of annoyed when people are like, oh my god, thanks for being so vulnerable.
3:09
Mariah: And I'm just like, I'm not being like that.
3:13
Mariah: Doesn't when people say that type of thing, it makes me feel we maybe I'm just naturally like an open book and I can I don't like to talk about things until they're processed.
3:26
Mariah: I think that that also kind of comes into play here.
3:28
Mariah: Like if I was still crying about this experience, we would not be having this conversation.
3:32
Mariah: Like, I think that it is important for me.
3:34
Mariah: I know some people can share when they're in the moment, they're in the process, that feels good to them.
3:39
Mariah: That does not feel good to me.
3:40
Mariah: And so it's almost like when people are like, Thanks for being so vulnerable, it's like they assume that like this is hard for me to share.
3:47
Mariah: But like, I just want you guys to know that like that's not my experience at all.
3:51
Mariah: And I'm extremely intentional about what I share and what I don't share.
3:56
Mariah: And I'm coming from a neutral to me place, which I think is important.
4:03
Mariah: Um it's in it's an intense experience, but it doesn't feel like I'm like ripping a band-aid off.
4:12
Mariah: Do you know what I mean?
4:13
Mariah: Like I'm I'm kind of at a point where it's like I find the humor in it, like I find the joy in it, and I'm kind of just like, what a gift.
4:22
Mariah: I'm still here.
4:23
Mariah: And so I don't know if that has it probably has something to do with my son and my Venus in the eighth house, and that's just the thing that I keep coming back to where it's like I kind of like talking about taboo topics and like life and death in these type of situations.
4:36
Mariah: So that was really important for me to share.
4:40
Mariah: Um, because the stories can get a little intense.
4:44
Mariah: So I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy back in December of last year, December 2025.
4:55
Mariah: And so I found out that I was pregnant probably like three weeks before.
5:00
Mariah: But to be honest, like we we were trying, but I didn't know that they like add extra weeks to it.
5:08
Mariah: You know what I mean?
5:09
Mariah: Like from conception, they add those extra weeks of like from your last period.
5:15
Mariah: So to me, I was three to four weeks pregnant.
5:17
Mariah: I was really, what is it, five to six?
5:20
Mariah: They even said seven, like that type of thing.
5:23
Mariah: So I peed on a stick um in November, and it was like, oh my God, I think it was November, and I got a positive test, and I was like, oh my God, this is crazy.
5:33
Mariah: But the craziest thing was that I was, because we were trying to get pregnant, and I was using Anito, and Anito basically tracks your hormones.
5:43
Mariah: Like you pee on a stick every morning and it tracks your hormones.
5:47
Mariah: And so I was curious like what my hormones would do even after I got a positive pregnancy test.
5:52
Mariah: And what was really interesting to me is that my LH levels, I forget what it stands for, they were really high still, and they shouldn't be high when you're pregnant.
6:04
Mariah: And so I was just Googling, why are my LH levels high when I'm pregnant?
6:10
Mariah: And I remember seeing, you know, like Google AI, it was like, oh, it could be an ectopic pregnancy, could also be X, Y, and Z, could also be X, Y, and Z.
6:19
Mariah: And to me, I was like, ectopic pregnancy.
6:21
Mariah: I don't even know what the fuck that is.
6:22
Mariah: And then it was like, this is extremely rare.
6:25
Mariah: So of course we go, well, that ain't me, dog.
6:28
Mariah: What do you mean?
6:29
Mariah: Especially on a Google search.
6:30
Mariah: That ain't me.
6:31
Mariah: You could be like, I got a fucking zit on my nose.
6:33
Mariah: What is this?
6:33
Mariah: Google's like, it's extremely rare, but it could be skin cancer.
6:36
Mariah: You know what I'm saying?
6:37
Mariah: So I was like, Yeah, that's not me.
6:38
Mariah: So then I didn't have my follow-up appointment at my OB until the following week.
6:46
Mariah: And so I didn't even call the doctor.
6:49
Mariah: And I remember just thinking, like, I don't even know what I'm like supposed to do.
6:52
Mariah: I don't really feel pregnant, but I guess if I'm like this early, maybe I just found out early.
6:57
Mariah: Like, I don't, my body really doesn't feel that different.
7:00
Mariah: Like, I'm not really sure.
7:02
Mariah: So I kind of just was going with the motions.
7:04
Mariah: And so the morning of the octopic or the afternoon, I was upstairs and I was doing a little bit of a workout.
7:12
Mariah: I was doing an ab workout because I also didn't know that apparently you shouldn't do ab workouts while you're pregnant.
7:17
Mariah: And that's because it's like um your abs kind of like split apart to like make room for the baby.
7:25
Mariah: So it's important that you're not like squeeze, I don't know, all of this other stuff.
7:28
Mariah: So I was like, okay, fine.
7:29
Mariah: I didn't know that.
7:30
Mariah: So I was doing an ab workout and I felt it kind of felt like on my right side, it felt like I pulled an ab muscle like during the workout.
7:40
Mariah: I was like, oh, it's weird.
7:41
Mariah: Like, ow, that hurts.
7:43
Mariah: And so I remember using the bathroom and there was a little bit of blood, but then I remembered that like three of my friends said early pregnancy, they saw blood and spotting.
7:53
Mariah: It was no big deal.
7:54
Mariah: So to me, I'm like, okay, cool, no big deal.
7:56
Mariah: So I'm done using the bathroom and I go to walk downstairs, and like I'm feeling super dizzy and like lightheaded.
8:04
Mariah: And I'm just like, what the fuck is this?
8:05
Mariah: And this is like early afternoon, probably like maybe like three o'clock.
8:09
Mariah: And I'm just like, ooh, man, I feel so strange.
8:13
Mariah: And so I was like, I'm just gonna lay down.
8:14
Mariah: I think I pulled an ab muscle, whatever.
8:17
Mariah: So thank God Andrew was home.
8:21
Mariah: Andrew ended up getting a job outside of the house at this point.
8:27
Mariah: Like we knew that starting January 5th, he would be working second shift.
8:35
Mariah: And so he would be gone for 3 till like 11:30.
8:39
Mariah: Okay.
8:39
Mariah: So at this time we knew that.
8:41
Mariah: And so he was having like, we called it like bonus weeks in December.
8:44
Mariah: He was like, hell yeah.
8:46
Mariah: Like I have like the whole holiday season, like I get to relax and like, so thank God he was home.
8:51
Mariah: And so I'm laying on the couch and I was like, ooh, I was like, my fucking ab, like I feel like I pulled an ab muscle and I'm just like not feeling right.
8:59
Mariah: And I'm like, just laying there.
9:00
Mariah: I'm when I was laying horizontal, I was perfectly fine.
9:05
Mariah: I'm playing games on my phone, I'm fucking messaging my friends, I'm hanging out, I'm trying to, I'm pretty sure that I even ordered DoorDash for dinner.
9:13
Mariah: I was like, because if I pulled an ab muscle, I ain't fucking ordering jack shit.
9:17
Mariah: And so laying down and I like wanted to go and use the bathroom.
9:23
Mariah: I remember wanting to use the bathroom.
9:25
Mariah: And I go to sit up and I'm like getting lightheaded.
9:27
Mariah: And I was like, what the fuck?
9:29
Mariah: So then I just laid back down again.
9:31
Mariah: And this was probably, I was probably in the couch for like two or three hours at this point.
9:36
Mariah: And Andrew comes in and he's just like, Oh, how you doing?
9:38
Mariah: Like, how you feeling?
9:39
Mariah: I was like, I feel really weird.
9:40
Mariah: Like, I can't sit up without feeling dizzy.
9:43
Mariah: And he was like, Oh, that's strange.
9:45
Mariah: So then we're both kind of like Google searching things.
9:48
Mariah: And so I'm looking up, like I'm putting into go, I'm just like, I'm three to four weeks pregnant, like feeling a little whatever.
9:55
Mariah: And they're just like, Oh, you know, your body's starting to build so much blood.
9:59
Mariah: Like everything basically was like fine, fine, fine, not a big deal.
10:02
Mariah: And Andrew's Googling stuff, and he was like, Is it like your gallbladder?
10:06
Mariah: Like, is it like whatever?
10:07
Mariah: And I was like, uh, I don't know.
10:09
Mariah: Something just doesn't feel right.
10:11
Mariah: And so it was one of those points when you're an adult where you're like, should I go to the hospital?
10:21
Mariah: And you instantly think, absolutely not, because it sounds fucking awful.
10:26
Mariah: No, I don't want to go there, and it's not a big deal.
10:30
Mariah: I have had friends go to the hospital.
10:32
Mariah: Oh my god, my stomach hurts, and it ended up being trapped gas.
10:35
Mariah: We still to this day laugh about it.
10:37
Mariah: And so I'm like, no, I don't want it to go, and then it's not a big deal, and then we just wasted our night, and I'm just like exhausted, even just thinking I was like, I don't really want to go to the hospital, it sounds pretty lame.
10:47
Mariah: And then we keep Googling things, and ectopic pregnancy comes back up, and I'm reading it, and I'm like, okay, if this thing ruptured, that's a problem.
11:00
Mariah: Maybe that's what it is.
11:02
Mariah: That's the only thing that I can maybe think about.
11:03
Mariah: And so it's like, this is serious.
11:05
Mariah: You basically need to go to the hospital.
11:06
Mariah: And I was like, I don't know if it is, but like, and then I remembered like the week before my LH levels were high, and I was like, this might be it.
11:16
Mariah: So then Andrew was like, Okay, you're not like this isn't getting any better.
11:22
Mariah: You can't even sit up.
11:23
Mariah: Let's just go to the hospital.
11:24
Mariah: I was like, okay, fine.
11:26
Mariah: So I go to sit up and I pass out.
11:29
Mariah: And so Andrew, when I come to, Andrew is on the phone with the ambulance with 911, calling an ambulance.
11:37
Mariah: And because he's like, I I'm not gonna be able to get you to the hospital.
11:42
Mariah: So I lay back down horizontal, again, feel fine.
11:46
Mariah: So the people from the fucking ambulance come in and um they're taking, you know, they're doing all of their diagnostic stuff.
11:55
Mariah: They're taking my blood sugar, they're taking my this, they're taking that.
11:58
Mariah: Everything is perfectly fine.
12:00
Mariah: All of the numbers perfectly fine.
12:02
Mariah: So they have to get me from my couch to the ambulance.
12:06
Mariah: So they sit me, they sit me up.
12:09
Mariah: I pass out.
12:11
Mariah: I come to, they're trying to get me like off of my porch, they're putting me back, you know.
12:15
Mariah: Finally, I'm laying in the gurney, I'm in the back of the ambulance.
12:18
Mariah: All of my numbers are so fine, and I'm so conscious when I'm laying down that it was no big deal.
12:26
Mariah: Like, I live probably about five blocks away from the hospital.
12:30
Mariah: I joke around with Andrew.
12:31
Mariah: I was like, I didn't even get the lights.
12:33
Mariah: I didn't even get the fun ambulance lights.
12:36
Mariah: Nobody thought that this was an issue.
12:37
Mariah: Everybody was like, this is a weird situation.
12:42
Mariah: Like, what the fuck is going on?
12:44
Mariah: So then they roll me in, what is it, triage it's called, like that type of thing.
12:48
Mariah: The girls do it in EKG, and she was like, Your heart seems fine.
12:52
Mariah: And I was like, Okay, great.
12:54
Mariah: Like, nobody knows what's happening.
12:56
Mariah: So, of course, you go to the hospital, there's no beds, there's never any beds.
13:02
Mariah: You know what I mean?
13:02
Mariah: So I'm like waiting in um in the hallway, and this nurse comes up and they're doing, they're doing more blood work, and she was she was like, When's the last time you used the bathroom?
13:15
Mariah: And I was like, Well, funny thing, I was like, I tried to use the bathroom before.
13:18
Mariah: I was like, I haven't used the bathroom since like two or three o'clock.
13:20
Mariah: At this point, it's 8 p.m.
13:21
Mariah: And she was like, Okay, like you need to use the bathroom.
13:24
Mariah: Try to sit up.
13:25
Mariah: I sit up, I pass out right in front of her.
13:29
Mariah: So then at this point, my hands are getting cold, my hands are getting like kind of numb, my feet are freezing, that type of thing.
13:36
Mariah: When I'm horizontal, I'm perfectly fine.
13:40
Mariah: And so she was like, Oh, this is so strange.
13:43
Mariah: And so the doctor comes over.
13:44
Mariah: And he was, he was just like, What's happened?
13:46
Mariah: She was like, I'm trying to get her to use the bathroom.
13:48
Mariah: She won't use like she can't use the bathroom.
13:50
Mariah: She passed out, like when she sat up.
13:52
Mariah: She was like, How about you sit up again?
13:54
Mariah: And the doctor goes, No, how about she does like I I trust you?
13:58
Mariah: She passed out when she sat up.
14:00
Mariah: Like, let's not make her pass out again.
14:01
Mariah: And like, that's when I said, I was like, I think I'm like, I think I have an ectopic pregnancy.
14:06
Mariah: And even Andrew was like, We think it's an ectopic.
14:09
Mariah: We don't know what that means.
14:11
Mariah: Like, that word means absolutely fucking nothing to us.
14:13
Mariah: Like, I have no idea what this means.
14:15
Mariah: And she was like, Okay.
14:16
Mariah: So they roll me into, and she was like, Well, we're gonna try to get you to pee, use a bed pan, something, something.
14:22
Mariah: So they roll me into this back room.
14:24
Mariah: We finally get the results from the blood work.
14:26
Mariah: My HCG levels, which is like a hormone when you're pregnant, they were just high enough for them to call the OB surgeon.
14:37
Mariah: And so this is important because when you have an ectopic pregnancy, the pregnancy is essentially stuck in your fallopian tube.
14:44
Mariah: And so your body doesn't make as many hormones.
14:47
Mariah: And so it's like your HCG levels won't be that high because it's not in the right spot to produce all of the hormone or to produce the levels of hormones, like a healthy pregnancy.
15:00
Mariah: And so they were just high enough for them to basically take me seriously on this to call the OB surgeon.
15:05
Mariah: And so the OB surgeon instantly wanted to do a scan of my abdomen to like see if there's fluid in there, yada yada.
15:12
Mariah: And so this girl was scanning my abdomen, she's over my bladder, and I remember her being like, Oh, there's fluid in here, and like your bladder is so small, like you have a small bladder.
15:23
Mariah: And I'm just like, Okay, bitch, like you have a small bladder, like what the fuck?
15:28
Mariah: And so the nurse was like, Why is she passing out?
15:30
Mariah: And she she was asked, she was like, Do you have a tooth infection?
15:34
Mariah: And I was like, No, like what?
15:38
Mariah: So they did the scan, find I have fluid in my abdomen, and so once that happens, I'll never forget the look on his face.
15:46
Mariah: The OB surgeon rushes into this back room and he goes, Mariah, you are bleeding internally, it is extremely bad.
15:58
Mariah: Your entire abdomen is full of blood.
16:00
Mariah: We have to get you into surgery now.
16:05
Mariah: To me, what the fuck do you mean?
16:09
Mariah: Last question was do you have a tooth infection?
16:13
Mariah: Now my entire abdomen is filled with blood.
16:16
Mariah: And the last time that I saw my husband, I was just trying to go to the bathroom.
16:21
Mariah: So he basically was like trying to get my, he was like, We need to get you up into like the like the OR, like immediately, like right now.
16:30
Mariah: We have no time to waste, like that type of thing.
16:33
Mariah: And so this nurse, I know I understand that like they don't understand what's happening, like that type of thing.
16:41
Mariah: But she was like, which way should we go?
16:43
Mariah: Should we go to the left or should we go to the right?
16:47
Mariah: And the OB surgeon was like, I don't care whichever way gets us up there fastest.
16:54
Mariah: And I was like, Oh fuck, this is serious, which is crazy because I remember looking up ectopic pregnancies, and that's why I or ruptured ectopics, and it was like extreme pain.
17:04
Mariah: And I was like, it literally feels like I pulled an ab muscle, like it did not feel like excruciating, brutal, like literally none of that.
17:12
Mariah: And so that's why I kind of was just like writing it off.
17:16
Mariah: So, anyways, we get up and they're propping me to go into surgery, and this OB surgeon is looking at me, a woman with no children, who wants to get pregnant, and he was like, just a heads up, I don't know how bad it's gonna be when I get in there.
17:33
Mariah: Your fallopian tube has ruptured, you are bleeding a lot.
17:38
Mariah: We need to remove the tube.
17:39
Mariah: I don't know if we're gonna have to remove everything else.
17:43
Mariah: That's the last that I heard before I get put on this fucking cold operating table.
17:49
Mariah: Great.
17:51
Mariah: So, knocked out, wake up, come to, I'm in recovery, and um I wake up and thank God somebody was there.
18:01
Mariah: And they literally said they said everything went really, really well.
18:05
Mariah: They only had to remove the one tube, but then we found out that I lost one third of my body's blood.
18:12
Mariah: And he was like, if you would have waited any longer, like it would have been over.
18:18
Mariah: Like it would have been over for you.
18:20
Mariah: Uh, and I just think about like, what if Andrew started second shift?
18:24
Mariah: I'd be dead.
18:34
Mariah: This season of the Curiously Guided Podcast, including this episode, is sponsored by Adobe Acrobat.
18:40
Mariah: And I want to share how I'm actually using Acrobat's AI-powered knowledge hub called PDF Spaces in my own business.
18:48
Mariah: So, y'all already know I'm an SEO educator.
18:51
Mariah: I create a shit ton of content.
18:53
Mariah: And for the longest time, that meant long Google Docs, resource list, tab after tab after tab after tab.
19:01
Mariah: I have a lot to say, okay?
19:02
Mariah: And my audience technically had everything they needed from that document, but actually finding the information and taking action and using it, that was a whole different thing.
19:14
Mariah: So this is where PDF Spaces comes in and it's changing the game for me.
19:18
Mariah: So instead of handing someone a super overwhelming doc and wishing them luck, I can build one intentional hub where everything, like those documents, links, notes, and resources, lives all together and my audience can actually interact with it, meaning they can ask questions, get summaries, and find exactly what they need.
19:39
Mariah: The best part though is that Shay and I built a PDF space specifically for this season of the podcast.
19:46
Mariah: All the episodes that have been previously released by the time that you're listening to this, including show notes, transcripts, guest bios, and links in one place, ready for you to interact with it.
20:00
Mariah: Click the link in the show notes and go play around with it.
20:03
Mariah: I genuinely think that you're gonna be like, okay, wow, this is legit.
20:07
Mariah: Pretty cool.
20:17
Mariah: Like he was like, one third of your body's blood is gone.
20:21
Mariah: Like, if it would have kept bleeding, there would have been no coming back from this.
20:26
Mariah: Like, there wouldn't be enough for us to do.
20:29
Mariah: So I ended up having to get two blood transfusions.
20:31
Mariah: I was in the hospital for I think like three days, um, crying.
20:37
Mariah: I remember one of the other doctors, she was a female, she came down and she I now understand when people are like, it's so healing to just feel so seen.
20:52
Mariah: Because this female doctor literally just looked at me and I'm like sobbing for you know numerous reasons.
20:59
Mariah: I think, to be honest, the scariest part, I was so new in my pregnancy that I did not get connected to the idea of the baby.
21:07
Mariah: Like I it wasn't really that that was scary to me.
21:11
Mariah: And I know that everybody has different experiences with this and all of that.
21:14
Mariah: That is just my experience.
21:15
Mariah: That wasn't the scary thing to me.
21:17
Mariah: It was the being three hours away from death that was like absolutely horrifying and just like how normal I felt, and like the pain wasn't that bad.
21:30
Mariah: My husband could have been at work.
21:32
Mariah: We almost didn't go to the hospital.
21:35
Mariah: Thank God I passed out in front of Andrew because it was that that really fucked me up, and then it was the thought of like, can I get pregnant?
21:49
Mariah: That was the scary thing to me.
21:51
Mariah: And so the amount of relief that I felt when this doctor came down and she was like, Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I went through the exact.
22:00
Mariah: Same thing.
22:01
Mariah: I'm missing a tube.
22:03
Mariah: Like mine ended up rupturing.
22:05
Mariah: Like I know exactly how you feel.
22:08
Mariah: And it's fucking horrifying.
22:10
Mariah: And I just want you to know that, like, I know what it's like.
22:14
Mariah: And like in that moment, it was like this click of like, this is what it means when it's like, I don't need you to solve my problem.
22:23
Mariah: Like, I don't need you to give me a solution.
22:26
Mariah: Just knowing that like somebody else has been through this.
22:29
Mariah: And then like I felt comfortable enough to like ask her these different questions made the rest of my made me feel so taken care of and safe.
22:40
Mariah: And like, because I'm there with my husband, who's literally like sleeping on the ground in the hospital, literally wondering if his wife is going to die.
22:46
Mariah: Are we ever going to be able to have a baby?
22:48
Mariah: Like, he's obviously more worried about my life and like in that point because it's like he had no idea what was happening.
22:54
Mariah: Last he knew I I could have a tooth infection.
22:56
Mariah: Like he had no idea.
22:57
Mariah: And then it's we're rushing her into surgery, and he's waiting there, literally staring at this thing, waiting to see like is she's still in surgery on this board or getting a text from like a fucking automated system.
23:08
Mariah: Like it was just it was wild.
23:10
Mariah: And so it was just so nice to have another female be like, hey, I've been through this before.
23:15
Mariah: Like I totally understand what the situation was.
23:20
Mariah: So that's the main T.
23:23
Shay: Damn.
23:24
Shay: I've heard that story before like multiple times, and still I was like on the edge of my seat the whole time.
23:29
Shay: Um one takeaway that I have from your story, and it came through again this time a lot, is just how important it is to advocate for yourself and like how smart we are.
23:42
Shay: You know, I think that um, you know, when you when they were talking tooth infection, you know, they were like, they were just like throwing spaghetti at the wall and literally like time was ticking for you.
23:54
Shay: And so I do think that like you being aware and knowing about those hormone levels and just like your research, like you and Andrew both advocating for ectopic, a topic, ectopic is kind of what pushed them, I think, quicker in the right direction, or else they would have been talking about tooth infection for 30 more minutes or whatever that was.
24:13
Shay: So I just am always like, your story is so I don't know, it can be hard to second guess yourself because you're not a doctor and you're not a medical expert, but like you hear it over and over again how important it is to be your own advocate.
24:26
Shay: And like literally you in your research brain and you being your own advocate, I do think like I mean, time was of the essence.
24:33
Mariah: It was a ton more time.
24:34
Mariah: It was breadcrumbs.
24:35
Mariah: That's all it was.
24:36
Mariah: And it was like this intuitive breadcrumb following where it's like, and if you if you find that you're intuitive or it's like you're curious, like that type of thing, it's like I don't think that I was meant to die in that situation.
24:55
Mariah: So there was breadcrumbs laid out for me.
25:00
Mariah: Am I willing to look at the breadcrumbs and to share them with people?
25:07
Mariah: That was literally night and day.
25:09
Mariah: Like Andrew wouldn't have known, he wouldn't have thought ectopic pregnancy.
25:13
Mariah: He doesn't he's just learning about like his wife getting pregnant, what we have to do, like uh the hormones, like that sort of thing.
25:20
Mariah: He wouldn't have had a clue.
25:21
Mariah: So if I didn't share that information with him, it's just like these little breadcrumbs that were like laid out where it's like you only notice how connected everything was, like in hindsight.
25:34
Mariah: But that's why it's so important to like when something comes up, especially in a situation like that, no information is random or weird.
25:42
Mariah: Like you have to share shit because that could be the breadcrumb that then somebody latches onto that opens a perspective because otherwise, you know, in most situations, they're not life or death.
25:59
Mariah: In some situations, they are what would you say?
26:05
Shay: Like I think you are like me in this of like I kind of expected afterwards to have this big, like, aha, life game-changing moment, near death experience perspective.
26:19
Shay: And I definitely have noticed some subtle shifts since then, but there was not like one big thing for me, and that's why it's taken me a minute to honestly.
26:28
Shay: I'm still processing it.
26:29
Shay: This podcast episode is part of me processing it.
26:31
Shay: What do you think like you your big takeaways were?
26:35
Shay: Like, are there is there any way that like you're like feeling different now or acting now in in like life or towards your business?
26:41
Mariah: Yeah.
26:42
Mariah: The biggest takeaway I think was like how fucking incredible my body is.
26:48
Mariah: So when I'm healing, right?
26:50
Mariah: Like, you know, I get sent home from the hospital.
26:54
Mariah: Like the craziest part, like, what do you mean I lost one third of my blood?
26:57
Mariah: And then like I had to get blood transfusions.
27:01
Mariah: I had somebody else's blood literally in my body, which is fucking mind-blowing to me.
27:09
Mariah: Like, especially if we believe in like the energy of things.
27:12
Mariah: How about the energy of blood, dude?
27:14
Mariah: Who, whom's blood is fucking flowing through these veins?
27:19
Mariah: Like that, that was kind of trippy to me.
27:22
Mariah: Um, but I think the biggest thing was so thank God that my husband did not have to work.
27:30
Mariah: He didn't have to take off of work.
27:31
Mariah: Like he was, we were already, he was already off.
27:33
Mariah: And so he was taking care of me.
27:35
Mariah: And so anybody that knows my husband knows that he is not a cook, he is not a chef, he is not even remotely close.
27:42
Mariah: When we first started dating, he told me that he was going to cook me a homemade dinner and it was beef stew.
27:47
Mariah: And then he came like to my apartment with cans of dinty more beef stew, and him heating up canned soup was the equivalent of making me like a home-cooked meal.
27:59
Mariah: Like, that's what we're working with.
28:01
Mariah: Okay.
28:02
Mariah: And so he is responsible for taking care of me, for nourishing me, for feeding me.
28:09
Mariah: And I have to, I'm anemic as fuck.
28:12
Mariah: Like they almost wanted to do a third blood transfusion, but they were like, you should be good.
28:17
Mariah: Okay, cool.
28:18
Mariah: So I have to eat well enough for my body to literally heal everything that they did and create a fuck ton of blood.
28:28
Mariah: And so before this moment, I was so hypercritical about what I was eating, what I was eating.
28:34
Mariah: I can't eat gluten, I can't eat dairy, I'm eating too much sugar, I can't have fucking this, I can't have that, I can't have this.
28:41
Mariah: Well, all of that goes out the window when my husband barely even knows what fiber means.
28:49
Mariah: My husband is a hot dog and ramen noodle boy.
28:54
Mariah: And so what he can make very well, very well, chef's kiss is a homemade grilled cheese.
29:02
Mariah: My dude kills it.
29:03
Mariah: Okay.
29:04
Mariah: So, oh, how ironic that that's literally gluten and dairy.
29:10
Mariah: The two things that I was absolutely horrified of eating before to cause inflammation.
29:15
Mariah: And at this point, obviously, I could have called my mother, I could have called them, like I could have had other support, but that it wasn't the medicine that I needed.
29:23
Mariah: You know what I mean?
29:24
Mariah: And so I let my husband for three days in a row basically cook me grilled cheese for lunch and dinner because not ironically, that's what I wanted.
29:33
Mariah: And I wanted tomato soup.
29:35
Mariah: And did he cook tomato soup from scratch?
29:36
Mariah: No, ma'am, it was Campbell's with high frucose corn syrup in it.
29:40
Mariah: The trick is to put pickle juice in it.
29:43
Mariah: It really does like change the fucking game with the tomato soup.
29:47
Mariah: And so I'm sitting there and I'm eating this grilled cheese made with so much love.
29:53
Mariah: My husband is literally just like, anything you need besides learning how to cook, like I will do whatever you need.
30:00
Mariah: Um, he just doesn't have the capacity, right?
30:03
Mariah: And so I'm eating this grilled cheese, and I had this, I actually had this big epiphany of just like my body is healing exactly how it needs to be.
30:16
Mariah: Like it already knows how to create blood, it already knows how to heal from these incisions, it already knows how to operate without a fallopian tube.
30:31
Mariah: And then I heard from the doctor that losing a tube does not decrease my chance of getting pregnant naturally.
30:38
Mariah: Also fucking mind-blowing to me.
30:41
Mariah: And so I think the biggest thing that I learned was just like how powerful my body was.
30:47
Mariah: And for two to three weeks straight, I let my husband feed me and nourish me.
30:53
Mariah: And it wasn't perfect, and it was just this reminder of like, my body is so fucking strong and it can heal itself, and it doesn't need the perfect input in order to do it, and I don't need to micromanage it.
31:07
Mariah: And like how strong if I just rest and relax and get the fuck out of my own way, like how strong my body is, and that's not what I believed before this.
31:19
Shay: Yeah, I've definitely noticed a big difference in you and like how you're relating to food, and you were really, really stringent before.
31:26
Shay: Yeah.
31:27
Shay: Um, and that's a cool experience to like be uh supported and held in that way in a way that you thought before probably would have like freaked you out.
31:37
Mariah: Yeah, it was it was the food noise.
31:39
Mariah: I remembered like the food after that situation, the food noise, and I remember telling you the food noise like almost went completely away.
31:47
Mariah: I stopped taking supplements.
31:49
Shay: I was like, I don't think such a regimen, you were doing crazy stuff, crazy shit, crazy shit, crazy supplements all the time.
31:56
Mariah: I didn't think that my body could operate in a healthy way on its own.
32:00
Mariah: And after this, I was like, my body is literally like rebuilding from the inside out-and needs none of this.
32:09
Mariah: So I think that that was my biggest takeaway.
32:11
Mariah: But I we can come come back to mine.
32:14
Mariah: I want to hear about yours.
32:15
Mariah: Will you share what your what your near-death experience was?
32:18
Mariah: And it's crazy how close these were.
32:22
Mariah: Yeah.
32:24
Shay: Like in time, it's wild.
32:26
Shay: Well, even as you're sharing your story, I was like, man, there's a lot of parallels, including so my story.
32:31
Shay: I went on a trip to the most beautiful place I've ever seen, Lake Atilan in Guatemala.
32:36
Shay: It's this lake that's surrounded by volcanoes.
32:39
Shay: It is literally like otherworldly beautiful, but it's really rural.
32:43
Shay: We had to travel four hours to get there from Guatemala City up and down mountains.
32:48
Shay: Our car broke down, we got stranded and had to hitchhike.
32:51
Shay: Like literally, this trip.
32:52
Shay: If I tell you everything about this trip, it's gonna sound like the trip from hell.
32:56
Shay: But weirdly, I look back on it very fondly.
32:59
Shay: And that is the part that I've been trying to grapple with and sort through.
33:04
Shay: So, like, yeah, like getting there was just like a shit show, but we did get there.
33:07
Shay: It was beautiful.
33:08
Shay: I had like three days, I was there with my husband, my best friend, and her partner.
33:12
Shay: Um, fortunately, my husband has health issues, and my best friend was pregnant.
33:17
Shay: So we had already scouted out hospital options.
33:20
Shay: This place is kind of weird.
33:21
Shay: It's actually like seven towns around the lake, and they're all pretty small.
33:25
Shay: So not all the towns had hospitals.
33:28
Shay: Actually, there was only two.
33:29
Shay: There was a private hospital and a public hospital.
33:31
Shay: But we had kind of already scoped it out just in case, like, there was an issue with Sam's pregnancy or Bobby had heart issue trouble.
33:37
Shay: Um, we were staying in one of the remote villages.
33:41
Shay: There was literally nothing there to get to the next town that had a hospital.
33:44
Shay: It was by boat.
33:46
Shay: And so we went out one day, like the third day we were there.
33:50
Shay: You traveled to the different towns during the day.
33:52
Shay: They all have a different vibe.
33:54
Shay: We went to the like hippie town that day or the art town, saw art, ate, had fun, took the boat back to our Airbnb.
34:01
Shay: I start feeling weird.
34:03
Shay: And it's like you were saying you didn't have a lot of pain.
34:06
Shay: I had so much pain.
34:08
Shay: Like it was an insane level of pain.
34:10
Shay: I've had stomach stuff before, but like, oh my gosh, I was just desperately like trying to find anything.
34:15
Shay: I was like getting in the hot tub.
34:16
Shay: I was trying to take cold showers.
34:18
Shay: I was just doing anything to like get out of this like stomach pain that I was feeling, specifically on my right side.
34:24
Shay: And so Bobby was like kind of talking me through it.
34:28
Shay: And eventually he's asking me questions.
34:31
Shay: And I remember laying in bed and him asking me questions, and I couldn't like form a sentence.
34:35
Shay: I couldn't even answer.
34:36
Shay: So he will tell you that I was non-responsive.
34:39
Shay: I was awake and I remember everything, but I remember like the pain was just so much, it was like the only thing I could think about at that moment.
34:46
Shay: And so you said you didn't want to go to go to the hospital.
34:50
Shay: Imagine being on a rural island in Guatemala, a boat ride away from a hospital where you don't even know if they speak English, right?
34:59
Shay: Like it was, we did not want to go to the hospital.
35:02
Shay: It was like last case scenario.
35:04
Shay: And I was trying to fight it and tough it out.
35:06
Shay: I think like that me learning not to tough things out was a big takeaway from this.
35:10
Shay: But finally, Bobby went and got Sam and she came in and saw me and was like, wow, she's ghost white.
35:16
Shay: She's not responding.
35:17
Shay: They're talking to Chat GPT.
35:19
Shay: Chat says, you need to get her to the hospital right away.
35:21
Shay: So we called the Airbnb guy.
35:24
Shay: He had a boat at the dock within three minutes.
35:26
Shay: Like it was insane.
35:27
Shay: And this is late at night, like sun had set dark.
35:29
Shay: There's not boats out on the lake.
35:31
Shay: Someone was there in three minutes.
35:33
Shay: They got me to the part, the town that had the private hospital.
35:37
Shay: And we had to get in a tuk-tuk, like a little, not a real taxi, just like a little go-kart kind of thing.
35:44
Shay: And so the boat driver flagged us down a tuk-tuk and got us going to the hospital.
35:48
Shay: The tuk tuk driver then got us into the hospital and like kind of translated for us until because when you get there, nobody's there besides like a receptionist person.
35:58
Shay: They have to like call all the doctors who come in from different areas.
36:02
Shay: So tuk tuk guy got us settled in the hospital, which already I was feeling like so held and supported.
36:07
Shay: I was in like a blinding amount of pain.
36:09
Shay: And so they call the doctor in, he starts doing examination.
36:13
Shay: He's like, I think this is a ruptured appendix.
36:15
Shay: I think you have appendicitis.
36:16
Shay: I think we're gonna have to do surgery.
36:18
Shay: But let's call in the what's the scan?
36:21
Shay: The scan they do on pregnant ladies.
36:23
Shay: Let's call that guy in ultrasound tech.
36:25
Shay: So ultrasound guy came, he said, Oh yeah, looking bad in there.
36:28
Shay: And let's call the surgeon and the anesthesiologist.
36:32
Shay: And so they call the surgeon, the anesthesiologist.
36:34
Shay: And it's like waiting 30 minutes each time because these people literally have to like end their evenings with their family and come drive to like give me surgery.
36:41
Shay: And when I say hospital, you guys, like not a hospital.
36:45
Shay: We were literally in kind of a strip mall in rural Guatemala, just this little place.
36:51
Shay: Like they wheeled me back to the emergency, the surgery room.
36:55
Shay: And I felt like I was in one of those like drug cartel movies where like the main guy gets shot and they have to call in the cartel doctor and they wheel him in the back room.
37:04
Shay: Like literally, they were wheeling me into a back room in the strip mall to perform open surgery on me.
37:11
Shay: So it was crazy, but I just like the whole time I felt really held and supported.
37:18
Shay: Like I did not feel fear.
37:20
Shay: I was like, these people got me, like, I'm good.
37:23
Shay: I I just did not feel a lot of fear.
37:25
Shay: I had a lot of pain, but I wasn't scared.
37:27
Shay: I just felt like I was in excellent hands.
37:30
Shay: And so they did the surgery.
37:32
Shay: I woke up several hours later.
37:35
Shay: My husband was there.
37:36
Shay: Um, I had some fevers at the beginning.
37:40
Shay: So they kept me in the hospital for like two days for like observations.
37:45
Shay: Bobby, the room we were the only overnight guests at the hospital.
37:48
Shay: So he had a bed.
37:50
Shay: Um, and it was like no AC, like we had fans on the wall, like very basics, but like we felt so comfortable and like held.
37:58
Shay: And like the nurse team, every there would be like a switch and shift from night and day.
38:02
Shay: They would like stand outside our room and like read a full report to each other of what had happened and what needed to happen, and they would like pass the baton.
38:10
Shay: It was just like incredibly kind, nice, thorough care.
38:16
Shay: And the nurses couldn't speak English so well, and we have kind of bad Spanish, so we kind of worked it out and figured it out.
38:23
Shay: The doctors all had incredible English, so like the communication was wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be.
38:29
Shay: Um, they like when I had fevers, would give me cold rags, like, just really took good care of us.
38:36
Shay: Bobby stayed there with me the whole time.
38:38
Shay: He eventually went, took the boat back to the island and got all of our stuff because I was not about to get back on that boat.
38:45
Shay: And I think I checked out about like two and a half days later or three days later.
38:49
Shay: We got an Airbnb really close to the hospital.
38:51
Shay: And then I had about like five days, four or five days before we needed to leave back to the US.
38:57
Shay: So I fortunately had some time to recover there.
38:59
Shay: And it was, I mean, it was like the middle of the winter here.
39:02
Shay: So like I was not mad to just have my own Airbnb, walk around in 70 degree weather, or I took one walk a day.
39:09
Shay: Like it was a really comfortable, chill place to recover.
39:11
Shay: I had my doctor's WhatsApp so I could message him if I had questions and if I was scared about anything, he'd get right back to me.
39:19
Shay: They brought in a dietitian and she had made me this elaborate.
39:22
Shay: I was really restricted on what I could eat.
39:24
Shay: And so Bobby went to like the market and made me this a bomb chicken Mexican or Guatemalan chicken stew because I had to eat really basic.
39:33
Shay: But yeah, I had a whole meal plan.
39:35
Shay: They had these live cultured probiotics.
39:38
Shay: Like it was such holistic, good hair.
39:41
Shay: I can't get over like how good they treated me, how good I was taken care of.
39:46
Shay: And then everyone is scared about the bill.
39:49
Shay: What was the bill at the end of this?
39:50
Shay: You know, when I talk to Americans, everyone's like, Well, how much was it?
39:53
Shay: Upen surgery, surprise open surgery, and two and a half.
39:56
Mariah: At a private hospital, had to call in an anesthesiologist, a dietitian.
40:03
Mariah: Yeah.
40:04
Mariah: You have the doctor's WhatsApp, like you're fucking Britney Spears.
40:08
Shay: Literally.
40:09
Shay: I know.
40:09
Shay: And the whole time they kept being like, Well, do you know there's gonna be a bill?
40:12
Shay: You're gonna have to pay your bill before we leave.
40:14
Shay: Because I think they just have to tell people since we're all used to insurance.
40:18
Shay: And we have travel insurance, so like we were covered, we weren't too worried about it, but this big bill came finally when we were leaving.
40:24
Shay: It was sixteen hundred dollars.
40:26
Shay: Start to finish, that's not copay.
40:29
Shay: The total was sixteen hundred dollars for like literally the best medical care I've experienced in my life.
40:35
Mariah: It just the rage that I feel in my like I am so happy for you, and the rage that I feel in my body when I hear that compared to like the bill from my experience is fucking insane.
40:53
Shay: I had there's a part two of this story that we won't get into, but I ended up kind of overdoing it, and I had to go.
40:58
Shay: I also passed out the shower.
41:00
Shay: My husband, my husband had to call the ambulance.
41:02
Shay: So I had to go back in.
41:04
Shay: This was after you got back.
41:05
Shay: When I got home, yeah, I had to go back in and that was scary.
41:09
Shay: They they were not like we had lights on, they thought it was like infectious disease from a foreign country.
41:14
Shay: Like they were treat me like wow, top priority.
41:17
Shay: Turns out I would have asthma to they're like literally.
41:22
Shay: Um, I was fine.
41:23
Shay: I was great.
41:24
Shay: They had done such a superb job.
41:25
Shay: I just overdid it, like the traveling home and everything.
41:28
Shay: My blood pressure got super low.
41:30
Shay: Just the co-pays.
41:33
Shay: I mean, the ambulance bill alone was$700, and then co-pays were over$1,600.
41:39
Shay: So, like just the co-pays of my little, it was like a 16-hour visit to the ER where literally nothing happened.
41:46
Shay: They just observed, was like, and the grand total is like 10 times or even more than that.
41:52
Shay: And it's just like, what?
41:55
Shay: And so obviously, like there's medical system lessons to be learned, but I think like one of my biggest takeaways, as I've been telling people this story, I've been surprised because every single person has said, weren't you so scared?
42:09
Shay: Weren't you so scared?
42:10
Shay: I even like my my ambulance girl was like, I have a trip coming up to Puerto Rico.
42:15
Shay: Should I cancel it?
42:16
Shay: And I'm just like, No.
42:19
Shay: What?
42:20
Shay: Like, I I I don't know.
42:23
Shay: It's weird.
42:24
Shay: It didn't occur to me at the time that I should be scared.
42:26
Shay: I looking back on it now, I should have been more scared than I was, but I just was not comprehending everything.
42:30
Mariah: But you were living in the moment, you know what I mean?
42:33
Shay: Like comprehend being scared, right?
42:36
Shay: And there is something here, this is gonna sound like so woo or spiritual, but like I just felt like universe or the mystery or God like had my back.
42:47
Shay: Like the whole time, I just had the strongest sense of peace.
42:50
Shay: Like I was just like, you're not gonna die here.
42:53
Shay: These people are taking excellent care of you, like you are well taken care of.
42:57
Shay: And I just had this like insane sense of like peace and safety coming from like a bigger place than me.
43:04
Shay: And so that was really cool to feel.
43:07
Shay: Like, you don't get to feel that kind of connection with whatever else is out there very often.
43:12
Shay: There was, it was not a fear thing.
43:15
Shay: And so, like the idea that I would stop traveling, which is for me like one of the most life-giving things that I do, um, it is crazy.
43:23
Shay: And I think a lot of people are really scared medically in particular.
43:30
Shay: I've talked to a few older people that say, like, oh, I don't travel because of this reason.
43:33
Shay: I even had a surgeon tell me like her literal worst nightmare is what happened to me.
43:39
Shay: And so, like, I think we're all scared and a bit brainwashed that like we here in the US have the very best medical system.
43:46
Shay: And anywhere else, it's just like shit.
43:48
Shay: And these people don't know what they're doing.
43:50
Shay: And that is not true.
43:52
Shay: Like, we do have a wonderful medical system here, but there are smart, talented, curious people all over the world.
44:00
Shay: the world.
44:00
Shay: And like I was really just blown away that like all of these people from the Airbnb to the boat driver to the TikTok driver to the anesthesiologist to the surgeon that gave up his night with his family, like all of these people helped me and didn't have to.
44:13
Shay: And like they all came together in this weird like coordination of events and like supported me.
44:18
Shay: And that's just cool to feel supported.
44:20
Shay: Like you were saying you felt that doctor seeing you like just having all of these strangers being like we got you.
44:26
Shay: We don't even know you or speak your language and like we got you.
44:29
Shay: It was just like very affirming.
44:31
Shay: And I've had medical I got laser eye surgery in Korea and I got dental work in Colombia.
44:37
Shay: Like I'm no stranger to yo what?
44:41
Shay: Yeah yeah yeah I've had medical stuff done in other places that that part wasn't so weird but I do think we have a lot of fear around other cultures and other countries and especially with medical stuff.
44:53
Shay: And I I I can't say that this will always be the case but I'll tell you guys like I was about as rural as you can be in Guatemala and I had the best medical care I've ever experienced in my life in a strip mall with fans and no AC and no fancy TVs keeping track of surgeries you know like it kind of was a reminder to me of like how much we overcomplicate things.
45:15
Shay: What really matters what really matters is that that human the doctor saying here's my WhatsApp if you're scared text me please at any time you know and just like the humanness was really wonderful.
45:25
Shay: But the main takeaway I wanted to share it's like why am I looking back on this literal trip from hell I lost an organ they offered you to take it home.
45:38
Shay: That was a big cultural difference.
45:39
Shay: So at the end they walked in with my appendix on a platter like literally a silver platter.
45:45
Mariah: They were like that's my favorite part of the story.
45:48
Shay: And I they were like do you want this and me and Bobby were just like dying and we were like cool it's not but I think they were trying to like like be honest like hey we did actually do what we said we were going to do and like if you want it you can take it but in our heads we're like this is going to go in the Airbnb fridge.
46:04
Shay: I'm going to travel with this like what maybe I would want to take it back for medical testing I don't know but that was probably the most shocking of the story we did not take the appendix but I've been kind of reflecting on like why wasn't I terrified why wasn't I so scared why why am I looking back on this trip like literally fondly on like what literally the nightmare trip from hell but it's like a beautiful lesson in in the both and I think has been my takeaway from all of this um there's like a lot of shitty stuff happened on that trip but also like I got to experience God and like I got to connect with humans on a level and be supported in a way that I never thought was possible.
46:50
Shay: And I had a really like gentle recovery like those days where I was recovering afterwards were really peaceful and gentle and I didn't have a lot of stuff to worry about.
46:59
Shay: Like I was just very held and supported and so I think it's just a lovely lesson in like both and getting rid of I'm an all or nothing thinker.
47:10
Shay: That's how I typically you know go about life.
47:12
Shay: The trip was either good or the trip was bad.
47:14
Shay: And so it's been hard for me to kind of grapple with like there was a lot of shitty things that happened but a lot of like really wonderful life changing things.
47:23
Shay: How can I hold both and I've been taking that lesson into a lot of things.
47:29
Shay: I'm just like yes both it can be both it can be I think most things in life can be shitty and wonderful and can you hold both accept both appreciate both and that's like really where some like solid peace comes from right so just like appreciating the both ands out of life of like yes this can be really shitty and like maybe one of the most life changing experiences I've ever had and like I mentioned before I I definitely didn't have this like I expect I hear near death experience stories and I expect people to be like and then I woke up and I was my life is so short and I started doing all the things I wanted to do.
48:06
Shay: And I do think that I have done that but it was more of like a subtle I didn't have this big epiphany.
48:13
Shay: It was more of I'm just noticing that I'm doing the things I said I wanted to be doing now.
48:19
Shay: And I think the experience really showed me like what's real about life.
48:25
Shay: I'm all I was all caught up in what are they going to think about me and I'm embarrassed.
48:30
Shay: And now I'm just like who the fuck cares?
48:33
Shay: What would I care about what they think about me like this is my life it's what I think it's what I want to be doing.
48:39
Shay: It's kind of just helps me like really sort through what is noise and like ego and what is it that I'm actually here to do.
48:47
Shay: And like just get the bullshit out of here.
48:49
Shay: Like let's focus on what feels real and like run into the bullthand, hold the bull fan, embrace the bullfan.
48:56
Shay: But I definitely feel like I'm I noticed subtle ways that it's affecting my decision making but it didn't ever feel like this one big like aha moment, which I think I was expecting.
49:06
Mariah: Well you had a really interesting like contrast and experience too between the hospital in Guatemala and then like passing out in the shower too which probably helped you realize like the black and white thinking of things because it's like oh look you felt so good and so held taken care of in this other country and then you get home and even though you just had fucking surgery you're literally like oh gotta do this this this this this this your to-do list is running your whatever and your body was like bitch I thought we were relaxing like take a breath and you almost like couldn't bring that peace with you.
49:47
Shay: No yeah I was pretty shocked at myself because I would I'm the girl that's always telling you to take I'm telling everybody take a break everyone's so busy relax and I couldn't even give myself any time a full week like we did have a lot of traveling to a different country we had to travel four hours four hours of mountainous roads to back to Guatemala City and then crazy ass international fights to get back to St.
50:15
Shay: Louis and then we came home and our like literally something on our house had fallen on our neighbor's house and was like knocking it down.
50:22
Shay: Like we had horrible things to get to when we got home as well so I think I just jumped back into life where I was like back into the stress got to get all these things done and my body for the first time ever was like no bitch like what and that was a really good like I'm not superhuman.
50:40
Shay: Like I just got out of major surgery and I even like noticed like I felt like people in my life were kind of like almost like wanting me to like I noticed my parents were like wanting to bring the dogs back and like asking why I hadn't like gotten some things done and I was like I'm recovering but I don't know it was just interesting because then I was also kind of bossing myself and overworking.
51:02
Shay: And I think like people just kind of expect things from you and so when you don't act the way you've always acted they're confused.
51:09
Shay: But it I literally had to like fight for my right to rest with my loved ones you know with myself even with myself and I still ended up in the hospital.
51:18
Shay: So it's just very interesting of like whoa I'm not the workhorse I'm the rest girl and I'm not letting myself rest so much to the point that my blood pressure got so low I passed out in the shower right it's really interesting.
51:31
Mariah: It's fascinating and it's just like in that situation you remember how strong we are as humans yet how fragile we are yeah that was a huge thing to me the both and yeah exactly the both and of like my body is so strong that I can recover from this my body is so fragile that if I don't fucking take it easy things are not going to get better.
52:01
Mariah: And another epiphany for me was like when you are part of a community your community shows up for you.
52:12
Mariah: So last year before this time um before my emergency situation I had three friends have babies and so each of those three friends I like made some soup for I dropped it off at their house for like postpartum whatever and then it's like I went through this emergency surgery and my friends found out they were like oh my God they turned around and they fucking dropped off food to me.
52:37
Mariah: And I was just like holy shit it's true like when you show up and you can be a community member your community supports you right back if you let them because I could have been like no don't worry about it.
52:53
Mariah: I'm okay I was like hell yeah drop some fucking turmeric chicken off hell yeah drop some fucking soup off and I didn't feel guilty whatsoever.
53:05
Mariah: And I think that's probably because I've been you know I've been wanting to get pregnant for the past I knew that we were gonna try like recently and so I was like hey if I want to be supported I have to support my people too like I can't just expect people to drop things for me.
53:20
Mariah: You know what I mean?
53:21
Mariah: And it's just like it's just so interesting these realizations that you have when like you have nothing else to worry about.
53:34
Mariah: It's almost like when you're healing it's like your main focus should be on healing and being healthy and resting but we're not taught or shown I don't remember like I remember my mom had fucking surgery.
53:50
Mariah: I don't remember anybody showing up to the house.
53:52
Mariah: I don't remember like my mom relaxing.
53:55
Mariah: I remember actually I was the one that told my dad mom's in a lot of pain you need to take her in I was like seven years old and I was like mom's in a lot of pain my mom was like no no no I'm perfectly fine my mom almost died and uh I'm just like looking back at that and I'm like girl what like what do you mean that we can't rest and we can't get support from our people and we can't give it to ourselves it's crazy.
54:25
Mariah: It's like it it's it's like the literal definition of insane.
54:31
Mariah: Yeah it is and it is hard like I felt like I was okay with it like a few days I was like yeah of course I had a surgery especially when we were there I was like totally down but then I found I was supposed to rest for six weeks I think yours was about the same like that it was like the continued rest that I really like weeks yeah I'm like I'm fine weeks what you know and so the second I get a little bit of energy back I'm like oh yeah I want to hop back into it and that's like no no bitch I've never had something where I've had to recover that long before and so I it was interesting how I could give myself a bit but then after that I felt almost indulgent and you're right like I have a few moments of people like trying to help and I remember my gut instinct is like we're good we're good no we don't need it and it's like yes you fucking it what this is the top to say yes it's just weird that's a weird reaction I definitely had that yeah it's really really interesting um and for me I shared about my ruptured topic like on my newsletter which you know is three fucking thousand people on there and um my previous client who's a doctor read that and she responded and she was like Mariah like God was on your side with that situation.
55:45
Mariah: She goes because working in the ER for so long that's one of the top three things that we're horrified of getting because it's so silent and it happened like things make a turn for the worse really quickly and like thank God that like everything ended up working out because like that is an extremely big deal.
56:08
Mariah: And like that felt really validating because to me even in my situation it was just like is it that like nobody's kind of taking me seriously is it a tooth infection is it a this and it's like no actually like people in the ER are fucking horrified of this because like it can go so unnoticed until it's too late.
56:28
Mariah: And it's like I remember hearing that and that was kind of like a shock to my system a little bit of like how serious it was because it's like you know I'm trying to process this stuff with Andrew and I'm trying to talk through it and I'm just like talking about this and talking about that.
56:41
Mariah: And then I had to keep telling myself like you almost died not to sit here into like have you ever as a teenager maybe maybe you haven't done this I would do this where I would start crying and then I would look at myself in the mirror crying so that I could cry harder.
56:56
Mariah: Have you ever done that?
56:57
Mariah: Yeah for sure and it's just like it felt really good to cry.
57:01
Mariah: Yeah yeah um and it was just like I didn't I don't know it was just like I I didn't realize how serious it was and it felt really good to just look and to like be validated of like this is extremely serious and it's okay yeah that it wasn't um easy like I'm not the one that causes problems.
57:32
Mariah: I'm the solution finder.
57:34
Mariah: I'm not the one that has emergency situations.
57:37
Mariah: I'm the one that's there for people in emergency situations.
57:40
Mariah: And it's like I had to keep reminding myself like no you went through this and this is a big deal.
57:47
Mariah: Allow it to be a big deal and allow yourself to just sit with it and process it.
57:54
Shay: And that was really difficult because it's like girl I want to get back to work I got ideas I got things to do I got blah blah blah the same as you where it's just like no I have things that like I want to do it was just it was a very interesting experience yeah I'm really like realizing a lot as you and I are talking through this of just like uh I have struggled with accepting how serious it was like I needed that surgeon the same thing I had a surgeon here at our biggest hospital say what happened to you is literally my worst nightmare and I that I was like oh what?
58:32
Shay: And it's the same thing like you're like oh me I'm fine yeah yeah cool I'm good yeah and I noticed that like Bobby's the one who's sick I'm I'm the one that takes him to the ER.
58:42
Shay: I'm not the one that goes to the ER.
58:44
Shay: And there's a bit of like my gut reaction is to just kind of like let's move on like let's brush this off and let's move on and start talking about something else.
58:52
Shay: And it's interesting I've not really reflected on like how much I've struggled with accepting this was really serious.
58:59
Shay: This was a near death experience you know like in I it it was and it's interesting just to notice that like my default is to really just try to run away from that and and move on because you're right it is like sitting sitting with it you know reflecting on it growing from it so that that's been really helpful and I I think that I am now a bit more processed.
59:22
Shay: So thank you for talking through this with me.
59:24
Mariah: Are there any other like final thoughts or anything that you want to share before we wrap up is it gonna be lame if I'm just like you have to trust the breadcrumbs no like you have because I mean like we said follow the nudge ask questions and like curiosity guide the way and it's like no like even in like medical situations like notice these little things and like when things hook onto your subconscious they are hooking for a reason even if in the moment they don't feel big like I could have forgotten about that like LH score being really high.
59:58
Mariah: But like for some reason it hooked into my subconscious for some reason like this other thing did and like talk about it.
1:00:08
Mariah: Allow yourself to that was kind of hard for me like you know a bunch of my friends who are like hey whenever you're feeling good and like you know they want to hear the story and I allowed myself to like cry when I told the story that was really hard for me to like have somebody witness me processing like I said in the beginning of this usually I don't talk about things when I'm in it usually I talk about them after I'm processed but like that was a huge part of the process is like having people that I love and I trust and I feel safe with witnessing me not be the problem solver having people witness me being at a low point but like not letting it be a negative I still get annoyed when I get like pity parties though that's just how I am and people like oh I'm like don't fucking don't look at me like like I just want to talk like it's facts like it's neutral like it's like I just want to talk about feelings from like that perspective versus like aw type situation.
1:01:14
Mariah: Um but I think like it brought a lot of things that I don't think that I would have realized to the forefront.
1:01:22
Shay: Yeah yeah me too it's it's helped me like reflect and reframe in a way that I don't think I would have um and I want to just end with like I think my final takeaway is don't don't let fear run your whole life I think that it would be very easy to just be scared like I wasn't necessarily scared of travel but I was scared of posting my face on social media and like I've been really asking myself like where am I letting fear hold me back and like what am I not doing out of fear?
1:01:55
Shay: Because what a fucking waste of time like don't be scared like you are protected and held and you could go to a foreign country and you could get sick and there will be support there for you or there won't like I don't there's just it to me I've just really realized like it's such a waste of time to be scared and make all your decisions from a place of fear and I'm really trying to reflect on like what would it look like if I was less scared?
1:02:22
Shay: What decisions would I be making how would I be acting if there were no if I wasn't scared and I'm not saying be reckless.
1:02:29
Shay: Like obviously we we knew what hospitals were around we had insurance you know like protect yourself be smart but like don't hold back in life life is so precious so short do what it is that you're scared of like that that is what is the most life giving and to your point like curiosity is our fucking superpower.
1:02:47
Shay: We've used it in business and you used it to save your life like I've used it to travel the whole world like it it's just like such a cool way to connect with your intuition to connect with what's bigger those find those breadcrumbs.
1:03:01
Shay: So just don't discredit yourself let curiosity be your superpower let it guide the way like it will transform every area of your life thank you guys for listening if you've listened to this and helped us process we really really appreciate it but I think we're ready to wrap this episode up if you I don't know if I can do this for member or for memory um remember friends you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want follow the nudge ask questions and let curiosity guide the way we'll see you in the next episode.
1:03:35
Shay: See ya