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Transcript

It's Me Thriving · The Trauma Therapist

• 0:00
  All right, welcome back to the podcast. I'm in first in here,
• 0:03
  and you know, it has been a while since I've done one of these
• 0:07
  solo episodes, but it it feels like it just gets it gets I get
• 0:13
  this momentum after interviewing all these incredible people, man, and the one thing
• 0:21
  that just so inspires me is the humanness, the courage it takes to be
• 0:33
  ourselves so that and helping other people, it's that that that pairing in a
• 0:43
  sense that really gets me. I am starting a new program. It's a
• 0:48
  three month program and it's called It's Me Thriving. It's Me Thriving, and
• 0:57
  it's starting in about a month. And it really has come as a result
• 1:04
  of doing almost a thousand interviews. Now I think we're at eight hundred and
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  eighty or something like that. When I started this whole podcast, I wanted
• 1:18
  to raise awareness of trauma. I wanted to help other help. I wanted
• 1:26
  to inspire and help educate and inform other therapists about trauma, other new therapists,
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  just starting out therapists like myself. At the time, I was on
• 1:38
  the track to become a therapist and I'm not a therapist. Now I've been
• 1:41
  doing this for ten years, but I wanted to. You know, at
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  that time, it was for me. It was about how do I become
• 1:56
  the best trauma therapist I can become? Because I know you that I wanted
• 2:01
  to focus on trauma. I knew I wanted to be in there and work
• 2:07
  with people who'd experienced trauma. And so when I started this podcast, my
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  goal was to like squeeze as much information out of my guests as I could.
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  And now something happened, though where I should say, let me the
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  groundwork right. The starting point was such that when I was growing up,
• 2:36
  I felt I wasn't smart enough, and so information became something I thirsted after.
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  Information became something that I loved getting. You know, when I was
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  in graduate school, I was on fire to just read what I could find
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  out what I could anything about trauma. And so several years later, when
• 3:05
  I was aut of graduate school and I got my first job working as a
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  trainee clinician, and I started the podcast, I wanted to ask my guests
• 3:16
  what they did, how are you working with clients? And slowly, ever
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  so slowly through particularly specifically through one of the questions I asked, which was
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  can you share a clinical error what you learned from it, and slowly what
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  happened was professionals, therapists, people who have been in the field for years,
• 3:46
  would talk about how they just weren't able. There was a time a
• 3:53
  moment where they weren't able to just be who they were, to be themselves.
• 4:00
  Yes, ethically and with boundaries, of course, but there were moments
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  during their work where they felt that they couldn't simply connect with themselves connect with
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  the client because they didn't they weren't just being a freaking human being. What
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  does that mean? That means being vulnerable, That means sometimes disclosing and sharing
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  and emoting, and oftentimes their inability to do this I wouldn't say oftentimes,
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  but every time almost that was an element that served to cause a rupture in
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  the process. Fixable, certainly, but it was a wake up call for
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  them. And as I was doing this podcast, this response, it just
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  became like a wave of responses. Cavalcadive similar responses, and it made me
• 5:09
  think about and not just the Cavalcad responses, but therapists would then reflect on
• 5:16
  how crucial and vital it was for them to really integrate this humanness. This
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  genuineness. You know, yes, genuineness and authenticity. We talk about it
• 5:32
  all the time, but it became so vital for all of my guests as
• 5:42
  they shared this, and it made me think about and realize that I didn't
• 5:48
  value that in myself. I was aware of it, the importance of being
• 5:54
  genuine and authentic, but it didn't value how crucial it was and working with
• 6:00
  another individual. And furthermore, I began to ask more and more, how
• 6:05
  the hell do we do this? What does it mean to be genuine?
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  What does it mean to be authentic and human? One of my guests,
• 6:17
  Oh, I can't remember her name. Hold on a second, I have
• 6:24
  to find her name. Hold on, Okay, I just paused the thing
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  to remember her name, Manuela mesh Gerd. She was quoting from uh troyam
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  trumpa Rimpachet about the importance of humanness and human kindness within the realm of the
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  context of working with another person. And so as I've been doing this podcast
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  now, that topic, this topic lights me on fire because it means it
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  values who we are, who you are, with your intricacies and idiosyncrasies and
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  uniquenesses and yes of call. Of course, I feel like I have to
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  repeat myself and offer a caveat that this is all you know when we're talking
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  about therapy. This is all under the umbrella of working ethically and with boundaries,
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  but the importance of and valuing who we are. Authenticity, genuineness is
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  not a fixed point right that all of us are aiming towards. We each
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  have our own fixed point destination in a sense, journey along which we travel
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  to express and live and be our genuineness, our genuine self, our unique
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  self. And it's a beautiful thing, right, It's an amazing thing.
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  And as I slowly reflected on this, as I would continue to do the
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  podcast, it gave me more and more courage to be who I was,
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  gave me more and more courage to share my own a story of trauma being
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  bullied as a young kid, something I was ashamed of. Of course,
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  I was being a guy and being a male and having been bullied by another
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  male, And but it also gave me courage to dive in there and to
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  kind of you. As I'm doing this, I'm like clawing into the heart
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  of my guests and finding out what makes them tick, what makes them courageous,
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  How the heck did were you able to do this work given the given
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  X, Y, and Z challenges, you know, that overcoming process,
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  and to go on and to then help someone else. I mean to me,
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  this is what it's all about. And this process of not just kind
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  of being genuine, but exploring what it means to be genuine, right,
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  and that involves this is where we get into the many questions here of what
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  this program is about. So, what I decided to do, and this
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  has been the result of years in the making, many many interviews in the
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  making. What I decided to do was to put together a program that is
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  essentially a group process, a small group process, ten people who meet twice
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  a month of the course of three months. Right, and we will explore
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  this process of what does it mean to be who we are? What does
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  it mean to honor our genuineness? And one of the things it involves is
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  looking at our story, right, looking at the totality of our experiences,
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  the hills and valleys of those ups and downs, and how they impacted us
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  and how they contribute still right to this day, to that negative influencing story
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  that goes in our mind, that plays like a loop in our mind that
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  impacts us day to day that prevents us from living our true cell. And
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  look, I will tell you I do not have all this figured out.
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  I'm not some freakin zen master who's gonna lay down a bunch of knowledge.
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  But what I do have is a willingness to get in there. And when
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  I say get in there, I mean to get into my own self and
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  explore, and to get into my guests selves and to ask them the questions
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  and to mine for the beautiful story that we each have. Right. But
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  one of the things we're going to be looking at in this group, right
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  is each of our stories. And I will be challenging you and calling upon
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  you and inviting you to look at your story and to share your story.
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  And when you put a group of people together who are equally can towards self
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  discovery and to honoring their own genuineness and uniqueness and in turn supporting each other
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  and encouraging each other, I mean that is you're fru on fire. You're
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  in this group where you know there is safety. How do you know that?
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  Because I've been doing this for a while and I know how to create
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  safety and honor safety. And a lot of it has to do with,
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  of course, the members of the group, right, and deciding on what
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  is mean to be saved. But when you know that you have that support
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  system who will be there to support you on this journey of finding and maybe
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  rediscovering your union weakness and being able to honor that, and being able to
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  honor your own vulnerability and intentionality. All these different things which I'll discussed in
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  later episodes. But when you have that, to me, there are a
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  few things more exciting because it gets back to honoring who we are, right,
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  whether you're a therapist or not, and valuing who we are because we're
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  each of us. We each bring different things. Each of us have our
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  own little you know, idiosyncrasies and unique aspects that are amazing, right,
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  But a lot of times we hide, right, We want to suppress them
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  because they're not in line with society or a culture. So this is what
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  this group is about. Okay, Now I want to tell you something here.
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  Just go to the website. It's called It's Me Thriving dot Com.
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  Its me Me Thriving dot com. So we're gonna start next month again.
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  It's a three month program, okay, and we are going to meet twice
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  each month and again it's gonna be a small group. We're gonna start meeting
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  in August August eighth, so it's gonna be Thursday, August eighth, and
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  then two weeks later Thursday August twenty ninth, and then in September Thursday September
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  twelfth, and then Thursday September twenty sixth, and then finally in October,
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  October tenth and October twenty fourth. So if this excites you, I invite
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  you to head on over to either my website, Trauma therasproject dot com and
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  you can learn more about it there, or head on over to it's methriving
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  dot com and learn more. Again. What I'm super excited about this,
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  and my commitment is to give my all in each of these meetings, and
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  I look forward to meeting you. All right, take care